"[Just before the second attempt at "big red rocket"] Even if the rocket doesn't blow up on me this time, there's really not a lot of great ways for it to end, anyway."

"Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3". I don't even like 2!"

"[Regarding the Riot Control Test] If Knoxville goes in there... I'll french-kiss him."

"[After getting shot by riot explosive] I'm crying. I'm a fucking skateboarder, I don't get shot!"

"[After the Yak Charge] That couldn't have gone any better. I didn't know Knoxville could do back flips."

"[Doing the gluteus cattle-branding skit] Here we are at some random-ass ranch and this is the Brand. And it's gonna suck!"

"Can somebody make a dick run?"

"We're here at April and Phil's house and I'm gonna present them the branded dick on my butt. No let me rephrase that, DICKS!"

"[Johnny Knoxville is about to be launched in the air] I'm scared just watching him, I want a Lance helmet!"

"It's time to play a game with a bunch of these medicine balls, and they're heavy as shit!"

"[Before plunging Steve-O] You better shit piss, asswipe!"

"You fuckers are asses! I don't trust anybody!"

"Knoxville is gonna see what the moon looks like!"

"[After completing Medicine Ball Dodgeball] That was fun. Let's never do that again."

"I can't believe I'm fishing for sharks with Steve-O as my bait! It's like a dream come true!"

"[After sticking a fish hook through Steve-O's mouth] Oh, man. That hurt to do that to you."

"[While fishing for sharks, using Steve-O as bait] Dude, isn't this movie supposed to be a comedy?"

"I'm so glad I'm not the star of this movie."

"[After drinking the horse semen] I'm ashamed of myself. I really am. I'm completely ashamed of myself."

"Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge."

"[After Wee Man and Preston go bungee jumping off the bridge] That was intense, really intense. Well, not really intense, but pretty intense."

"Hey Ehren, maybe after this movie you'll finally lose your virginity."

"[After getting fired out of a street sewer in a devil costume in DTLA] Keep God outta California! Whoo! Tell Charlie Daniels to write a song about this! God is out! He can have the other 48... or 49... whatever..."

"[After Matt Hoffman attempts to launch over a ditch, imagined as the "English Channel" on his bicycle] He didn't even make it to Germany!"

"Get ready to be happy ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Knoxville is gonna jump the entire lake! He's amazing."

"It's times like these when you know - Johnny Knoxville is one gnarly dude."

"[Chuckles after extracting horse semen] You just pleasured a horse."

"Dude, Wee Man, I would never use a card throwing machine on you!"

"I just had a leech chomp my eyeball. YES!"

"[After completing the butt chug] Alright, let's go to the bar!"

"All right cast me out, goddammit!"

"I'm Steve-O, and sorry Dad, but no one's gonna miss this for the world. This is the Butt Chug."

"[About to be buried up to his neck in a pile of manure] I'm Steve-O and this is some shit. [Screams] I'm Steve-O and this is some shit!"

"[To Dave England who has an upset stomach] Last time you shit in a damn van and now you get to shit in a limo!"

"Ow, my hip! I think I just gave birth!"

"Son of a–fuck you!"

"[After Johnny Knoxville falls head first off the penny farthing bicycle] You didn't land it."

"[After the riot control test] Son of a fuck you!"

"[Riding a BMX bicycle] Why would anybody ride this shit? What's the reasoning? Why can't they just make two of the same size wheel?"