"What has McLintock got that makes it different from all other westerns? It's got a tender love story! It's got good clean fun! It's got a warm story of family devotion!"

"Never such a tender love story! Never such a savage showdown! Never such restless natives!"

"He likes his whiskey hard... His women soft... And his west all to himself!"

"If these settlers get burned out, there'll be a lot of hollerin' that this country is too wild to be a state. We'll go on bein' a territory some more, with a lot of political appointees runnin' it according to what they learned in some college where they think cows are somethin' you milk and Indians are somethin' in front of a cigar store."

"Nancy Fish as Mrs. Peenman"

"He better be making something really cute, or I'm gonna be pissed."

"The future is anarchy! I'm talking about lawlessness. I'm talking about the Lebanons of the future. I'm talking about the breakdown of the whole system. The military defending people against people. You won't get your appropriations waving that flag. There's no glory in that kind of warfare."

"Garret T. Sato as One of Tyrell's thugs"

"Blake Clark as Murray"

"Nils Allen Stewart as Orlando"

"Eamonn Roche as Mr. Dickey"

"Denis Forest as Sweety Eddy"

"William Daniel Mielcarek as Doc"

"Reginald E. Cathey as Freeze"

"Ivory Ocean as Mitchell Tilton"

"Ben Stein as Dr. Arthur Neuman"

"Jeremy Roberts as Bobby the Bouncer"

"Jim Doughan as Detective Doyle"

"Cameron Diaz as Tina Carlyle"

"Orestes Matacena as Niko"

"Richard Jeni as Charlie Schumaker"

"Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt"

"Peter Greene as Dorian Tyrell"

"Peter Riegert as Lt. Mitch Kellaway"

"Jim Carrey as Stanley Ipkiss / The Mask"

"Splendiiiiide!"

"From zero to hero."

"Officers, arrest those men! ...I always wanted to say that."

"[sees Tina enter; to Stanley] Hold the phone. Killer at ten o'clock."

"I'm sorry, Stanley. You really are a great guy, I just can't afford to lose my condo. You know how hard it is to afford an apartment in this city."

"Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town ? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be your host for the remainder of the evening."

"I'm just an ex-employee, who's come for his back pay. Or should I say, PAYBACK!"

"50 grand. 50 grand to the man who finds that green-faced son of a bitch before the cops do. I want you to get the word out to every street hustler, to every lowlife in this town. I want him in here tomorrow, alive. You still here? Come on, let's go!"

"Ice this deadbeat!"

"Thank ya very much!"

"You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second-best, see?"

"This guy's incorrigible."

"THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!!!"

"Now you have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" WELL, DO YA... PUNKS?!"

"Did you miss me? I GUESS NOT!"

"Hold me closer, Ed, it's gettin' dark... [coughs] Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out... [coughs]...tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas... [coughs]...tell Scarlett I do give a damn! [coughs on thug, a fart is heard] Pardon me... [he mock-dies, an audience appears and gives the Mask a standing ovation while the Mask is handed an Oscar award] Thank you! You love me! You really love me!"

"Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny."

"[After being kicked in the groin by Tina; in a high-pitched voice] She is so coy. [normal voice] I LOVE IT!"

"[In a French accent] Hello, cheri. We meet again. Is it fate? Is it meant to be? Is it written in the stars that we are destined to fraternize? [normal voice] I'D LIKE TO THINK SO! HA HA HAA!"

"Let's rock this joint!"

"[After robbing the bank, to Dorian's henchmen] Sorry, fellas. Waste not, want not."

"Uh-oh...can't make the scene if you don't have the green; I better make a little stop."

"Sssomebody stop me!"

"Hold on, sugar! Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight!"