"[his speech at the graduation] I don't have very much time these days, so I'll make it quick. Like my life. You know as we come to the end of this phase of our lives, we find ourselves trying to remember the good times and trying to forget the bad times, and we find ourselves thinking about the future. We start to worry, thinking "What am I gonna do?", "Where am I gonna be in ten years?". But I say to you, "Hey, look at me". Please, don't worry so much, because in the end, none of us have very long on this earth - life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night, and when a shooting star streaks through the blackness turning night into day, make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular. I know I did. I made it, mom! I'm a grown up."

"Keone Young as Dr. Lin"

"Allan Rich as Dr. Benfante"

"Michael McKean as Paulie"

"Mario Yedidia as George"

"Seth Smith as John-John"

"I want to be just like my best friend when I grow up. He's only ten but he looks much older. He's like the perfect grown up because on the inside, he's still just a kid - he's not afraid to learn things or try things, or to meet new people the way most grown ups are. It's like he's looking at everything for the first time - because he is. And most grown ups aren't like that."

"Todd Bosley as Eddie"

"Adam Zolotin as Louie Durante"

"Bill Cosby as Lawrence Woodruff"

"Fran Drescher as Dolores "D.D." Durante"

"Brian Kerwin as Brian Powell"

"Jennifer Lopez as Miss Elena Marquez"

"[answering phone] Hart. Well, hello, Agent Matthews. No, I'm just putting the, uh, finishing touches on your chicken potpie. Yeah. I think I'm gonna make some man very, very happy someday. Listen, I wanna ask you something. Do you know if the Poconos are in New York or Pennsylvania? Because I cannot seem to get a clear answer on this. Because I was thinking that maybe this weekend we could take a little drive down there, do a little exploring, do-... Why, aren't-? Why do you wanna talk tomorrow? I mean, aren't you gonna be here in, like, 10 minutes?... Oh, well, I thought we were moving at kind of a normal speed. I--... Well, I don't need any more space. I mean-- You know, it's not like I expect us to get married or anything, but I--... Well, what is it? I mean, is it--? Is it the way I snort? I mean, because I don't have to snort. Or is it the--? Is it the sex? Because... You know, I could-- I could get a-- a manual or something... Well, no. No, you don't have to explain. No. No, you know what? You know what? I have to-- I have to go. Don't worry about dinner. I, um... Mrs. Flammenbaum next door invited me to a surprise... keg party. You know what? I have to go. Okay. Bye."

"Sir, I just don't wanna become FBI Barbie again."

"The Steele brothers were fired from the Treasure Island show. Cheryl said something about her booty being on the line. Cheryl would never refer to her ass as a booty, Cheryl would never refer to her ass, period. She calls it a po-po."

"They're on a cross-country adventure to the world's greatest video championship. It's more than a game...it's the chance of a lifetime."

"It's more than a game... It's the chance of a lifetime."