"[about Snot] He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a "Mississippi leg hound" in 'im. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let 'im finish."

"That right there is a RV, I got it off my buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV."

"[last line] I did it."

"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-… [kicks something] sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT! Where's the Tylenol?"

"[sliding through a forest on his saucer sled, barely avoiding trees] This is great! It's great! I'm dead!"

"Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record, Clark W. Griswold, Jr.! Remember, don't try this at home, kids; I am a professional. Later, dudes. Let 'er rip. Hang 10! [pushes off; goes sledding downhill at ridiculously high speed] OH, SHIIIIIIIIIT!!"

"I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas."

"[handing Christmas lights to Russ] Unravel these. We need to check every bulb. [pulls out a huge tangle of lights] Oop. Little knot here, you can work on that. [hands it to Russ]"

"LOTTA SAP in here. [spits then give an "okay" sign] Looks great! Little full, Lotta sap!"

"[the newel post is wobbly, so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post."

"[as an entourage of suits - led by Clark's boss - passes by single file] Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."

"Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the...season."

"[first words of the movie] Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve, there happened a story you must see to believe. Way up in the mountains, in the high range of Pontoos, lay the small town of Whoville: The Home of the Whos. Ask any Who, and they'll have this to say, "There is no place like Whoville around Christmas Day." Every window was flocked, every lamppost was dressed, and the Whoville band marched in their Christmassy best. Arbor Day was fine, and Easter was pleasant, and every St. Fizzin's day, they ate a Fizz pheasant, but every Who knew, from their 12 toes to their snout, they loved Christmas the most, without a single Who-doubt."

"Anthony Hopkins as the Narrator"

"Bryce Howard as Surprised Who"

"Mary Stein as Miss Rue Who"

"Nadja Pionilla as Junie"

"Lacey Kohl as Christina Whoterberry"

"Jim Meskimen as Officer Wholihan"

"T.J. Thyne as Stu Lou Who"

"Jeremy Howard as Drew Lou Who"

"Rachel Winfree as Rose Who"

"Mindy Sterling as Clarnella Who"

"Clint Howard as Whobris"

"Frank Welker (voice) and Kelley as Max"

"Molly Shannon as Betty Lou Who"

"Bill Irwin as Lou Lou Who"

"Christine Baranski as Martha May Whovier"

"Jeffrey Tambor as Mayor Augustus May Who"

"Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who"

"Jim Carrey as The Grinch"

"Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree? [Narrator: But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick… [Grinch coughs] ...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.] [Grinch: [imitating Santa] Why-hy-hyy, my sweet little tot!] [Narrator: The fake Santa Claus lied.] [Grinch: There's a light on this tree that won't... light on one side, so I'm taking it home to my w-wo-orkshop, my dear. [laughs and Cindy giggles] I'll fix it up there… and I'll bring it... back here.] Santa, what's Christmas really about? [Grinch: [pops out through the tree, startling Cindy] Vengeance! Er, I mean… presents... I suppose.] I was afraid of that. [Narrator: And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.] Santa? [Grinch: [sharply] What?!] Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean, and hairy and scary... His hands might be cold and clammy. But I think he's actually... sweet. [Grinch: "Sweet"!? You think he's sweet?] Merry Christmas, Santa."

"[Narrator: Cindy Lou had some questions in her curious heart. Why did the Grinch hate Christmas? Where did it all start? With her dad's blabbacorder, she wouldn't give an inch.] In your own words, please tell me everything you know about the Grinch."

"You're the, the, the, the– [Grinch: [imitating Cindy Lou Who] "The, the, the, the–" [normal voice; loudly] THE GRINCH!] Aah! [falls down a mail shaft and gets stuck] Help! [Grinch: Well...] Help! [Grinch: That worked out nicely.]"

"[after he crashes a mini car in the fire hydrant; gasps] IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!"

"Give me that!"

"Phew. [Max sneezes] Gesundheit. Ooh."

"Play, monkey! Play! Play, play, play! [gets a jackhammer while vocalizing]"

"That worked out nicely."

"[last lines] So he brought back the toys and the food for the feast. And he, he himself the Grinch, carved the roast beast."

"[Grinch: Oh, the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears! [strains harder, and stops to hear faint singing] Then the Grinch heard a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow. [Grinch: Huh? Whuh?] But the sound wasn't sad. Why this sounded merry. But it was merry. Very. Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small... were singing without any presents at all. He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming. It came. [Grinch: Somehow or other, it came just the same!] [Cindy Lou Who: Mr. Grinch?] And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling. [Grinch: How could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags!] And he puzzled and puzzled, 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something... he hadn't before. [Grinch: Maybe...Christmas...] He thought... [Grinch: ...doesn't... come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps... [warmly] ...means a little bit more. [gets a sudden thump in his chest] Max! Help me! I'm... feeling! [wheezes, and sees his small heart growing]] And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart...grew 3 sizes...that day."

"3,000 feet up. Up the side of Mt. Crumpit. He rode with his load to the tip-top to dump it."

"And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup... [Grinch: Nice kid. Bad judge of character.] ...He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. [the Grinch stuffed the tree up the Chimney, grabs the Christmas lights, and goes up the chimney] And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home, and he took every present."

"Then he slunk to the icebox. [Grinch: [hugs the fridge into place.] Slunk. [opens up the fridge]] He eyed the Whos feast. He took the Who pudding! [The Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away] He took... the Roast Beast! [Grinch: [imitating football player] HIKE!!!!!!!!!! [tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position, and messes everything up the fridge]] He cleaned out the icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch… he even took their last can of Who Hash. [The Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal the last can of Who Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens the door.] Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. [Grinch: And now...] Grinned The Grinch. [Grinch: [grabs the tree] ...I'll stuff up the tree! [walks to the fireplace with the Christmas tree] And the Grinch grabbed the tree as he started to shove... when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. [Cindy Lou Who: Excuse me.] [the Grinch stops, and hides behind the tree] The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. [Cindy Lou Who: Santa Claus? What are you doing with our tree?] But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick... [Grinch coughs] ...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick. [Grinch: [imitating Santa] Why, my sweet little tot.] The fake Santa Claus lied. [Grinch: There's a light on this tree... that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. [laughs, and Cindy giggles] I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here.] [Cindy Lou Who: Santa, what's Christmas really about?] [Grinch: Vengeance! Er, I mean... presents... I suppose.] [Cindy Lou Who: I was afraid of that.] And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed."

"[Grinch: [arrives on the roof with Max] C'mon, Max. It's our first stop!] The old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. [the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet] He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch. But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. [Grinch: [imitating sports announcer] He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2 1/2 with a combo tuck and pike… High degree of difficulty. [jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing] Whoo! [leans closer to the chimney] LAA-LAAA-LAAAAAAAA!!! [lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation]] He got stuck only once... for a moment or 2. [Grinch: Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips. [struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace] Ow! Gee! [looks at the view of the living room]] Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue... [Grinch: [to the narrator; breaking the 4th wall again] Shh. A little more stealth, please.] [whispering] [Grinch: These stockings...] [normal voice] He grinned. [Grinch: ...Are the first thing(s) to go. [picks out a jar of moths] Okay, fellas. Chow time. [frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings]]"

"All their windows were dark, quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little house on the square. [Grinch: Welcome to Whoville, Max!]"

"[Santa Claus: Ho-ho-ho!] [Grinch: Fat boy should be finishing up anytime now. Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.] [Santa Claus: [flying with his reindeer, with Rudolph leading] Merry Christmas!] [Grinch: Oopsie. Forgot about the reindeer.] Did that stop the old Grinch? No. The Grinch simply said: [Grinch: If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead. [He reaches for Max, who whimpers and runs away.] Oh, Ma-a-a-a-a-AXXXX!] So, he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread… and tied a big horn... on top of his head."

"[Grinch: [pulls Max out of snow, not noticing the snow beard] If you're not going to help me, then you might as well… [stops; notices the snow beard on Max]] Then he got an idea; An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea. [Grinch: I know... just what to do. [cut to red fabric being cut by the Grinch]] The Grinch laughed in his throat… [Grinch: Ha.] And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. [crunch; Grinch shouts in shock, and sees his fingers sewn on the red fabric and faints.] And he chuckled and clucked at this great Grinchy trick. [Grinch: With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho!]"

"[Clock Operator: Only 4 hours till Christmas!] Yes, the Grinch knew tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys. [Grinch: And then, oh, the noise! Oh, the noise, noise, noise, noise! They'll bang on tong-tinglers They'll blow their Floo-ﬂounders. They'll crash on Jang-jinglers and bounce on Boing-bounders!] Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast. and they'll feast, and they'll feast. [Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast! They'll eat their Who-pudding and rare Who roast beast, which is something I just cannot stand in the least. Oh, no. I'M SPEAKING IN RHY-YME! AAAHHHH! [cries] BLAST YOU, WHOS! [sobs]] And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought-- [Grinch: I must stop this whole thing. Why for year after year, I've put up with it now. I must stop this Christmas from coming! But how? I mean, in what way?]"