"I'm Fiona Bruce; Michael Schumacher has been stripped of his pole position from the Monaco Grand Prix, after an incident during the qualifying lap, and I've just won £50 from my producer for saying stripped, pole and lap without moving my eyebrows."

"I'm Fiona Bruce; the real reason Thierry Henry is staying in Britain."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. If you're looking for a source of alternative energy, you've come to the right place."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. When the news is good, I'm good. When it's bad, I'm better."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Forget The Da Vinci Code, I'm the one who'll bring the Catholic Church to its knees."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. There's never a hosepipe ban when I'm around."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. I'm the one who made the frog crazy."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Breaking news, breaking hearts."

"I'm Fiona Bruce, and I'm sat on the luckiest chair in Britain."

"I'm Fiona Bruce, proud to be tested on animals."

"Hello and welcome to the Ten O'Clock News with me Fiona Bruce. It's not the news in my life, it's the life in my news."

"If there's a problem, yo I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolve it. More on that story later."

"Even when I'm with my boo, all I think about is you. More on that story later."

"One love for the city streets, one love for the hip hop beats. One love is all we need. More on that story later."

"You're watching Newsnight... are you trying to impress someone? More on that story later."

"Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. More on that story later."

"Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money. More on that story later."

"And i would walk five hundred miles, and i would walk five hundred more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall at your door. More on that story later."

"I've had the same jeans on for four days now. More on that story later."

"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no no no. More on that story later."

"Push me, and touch me, so I can get my satisfaction. More on that story later."

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like: It's better than yours. Damn right. It's better than yours. More on that story later."

"My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. More on that story later"

"I want money, that's all I want, just give me money. More on Jeremy Paxman's new salary demands later, but first…"

"My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.. More on that story later."

"It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. More on that novel later."

"I'm not trying to pull you, even though I would like to. I think you are really fit. You're fit but my gosh don't you know it. More on that story later."

"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot — happy Christmas, your arse, I pray God it's your last. More on that story later."

"I've got something to put in you, I've got something to put in you, at the gay bar, gay bar. More on that story later."

"I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot. More on that story later."

"I swear you're just like a pill. Instead of making me better you're making me ill. More on that story later."

"He was a skater boy, she said see you later boy, he wasn't good enough for her. More on that story later."

"It is with deep regret and double chin that I announce this."

"I used the funds for my large volume of important work (Beat) and my wife's volume of important hair"

"And that's the end of the whole affair. And by affair I don't mean affair so will you quiet down, Pauline!"

"Look, simply Blair has lost touch with the people! (Beat) Oh dear I almost made sense there!"

"I never said I was the Queen. This was twisted by the media back into the order in which I said it."

"The listeners understand, John, and Gordon Brown agrees with this and you've had your say, that in so far as this policy is implemented if I can get a word in edgeways and the whole Cabinet is behind this…"

"[after just regenerating into the Tenth Doctor] New Labour. That's weird."

"People of Britain, this is your I-can't-believe-it's-not-Gordon Prime Minister."

"[regarding George W. Bush] As you can see, the lights are on but no one's in the trailer home."

"... But I am not Tony Blair. No, my real name is Enrique "The Condor" Martinez ..."