"Klaatu Barada NNNNNNecktie. Nectar. Nickel. Noodle. It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Klaatu... Barada... N [clears his throat into his hand, then pauses] Okay... that's it!"

"Three books? Wait a minute... hold it. Nobody said anything about three books! Ooh, that stinkin' wiseman! He was so busy fillin' me full of his secret little words and his phrases and his BULLSHIT, that he never said anything about this!"

"Good, bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

"[about to kiss Sheila] Gimme some sugar, baby."

"[trying out his new prosthetic gloved hand] Groovy!"

"It's a trick. Get an axe."

"Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"

"First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. [spits out grape seed] Blow."

"All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my 'BOOMSTICK!' [continuing nonchalantly] It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... YA GOT THAT?! Now I swear, the next one of you primates even touches me... [yells, shoots at the pit Deadite, then shoots again]"

"My name is Ash, and I am a slave. As close as I can figure, the year is 1300 AD, and I'm being dragged to my death. Wasn't always like this. I had a real life once, a job. [now Ash is in a flashback] Hardware, aisle twelve. Shop smart: shop S-Mart! [back to monologue] I had a wonderful girlfriend, Linda. [Flashback: Ash and Linda at the cabin] Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, The Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Sumerian text contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. [something crashes through the window of the cabin and Linda screams] It took Linda, and then it came for me. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. [Ash is seen cutting off his hand] But that didn't stop it. It came back... Big time. [Ash gets pulled into the vortex holding onto the doorway] For God's sake! How do you stop it?!"

"Stephen Young - Gilbert"

"Joseph Cotten - Simonson"

"Paula Kelly - Martha"

"Brock Peters - Chief Hatcher"

"Leigh Taylor-Young - Shirl"

"Chuck Connors - Tab Fielding"

"Edward G. Robinson - Sol Roth"

"Charlton Heston - Detective Thorn"

"It's the year 2022... People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they need. And they need SOYLENT GREEN."

"What is the secret of Soylent Green?"

"Announcer: Governor Santini is brought to you today by Soylent Red, and Soylent Yellow, high-energy vegetable concentrates, and new, delicious Soylent Green: The "miracle food" of high energy plankton, gathered from the oceans of the world. Due to its enormous popularity, Soylent Green is in short supply, so remember—Tuesday is Soylent Green day."

"[after smoking a cigarette at a party] You know if I had the money I would smoke two... three of these every day."

"You know, there are 20 million guys out of work in Manhattan alone just waiting for my job and yours too."

"Sir! I have a plan. [stands from his wheelchair] Mein Führer, I can walk!"

"[on the phone with the Russian Premier] Hello? Uh, hello? Hello, Dmitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? A-ha, that's much better. Yeah, yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then, as you say, we're both coming through fine. Good. Well, it's good that you're fine, and - and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. [Laughs] Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The BOMB, Dmitri. The hydrogen bomb. Well now, what happened is, uh, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of - Well, he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing.Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes...to attack your country.Well, let me finish, Dmitri. Let me finish, Dmitri. Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello! Not now, but any time, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened.It's a friendly call. Of course, it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly, you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. I am, I am positive, Dmitri. Listen, I've been all over this with your Ambassador. It is not a trick. Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your Air Staff a complete rundown on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes.Yes, I mean, if-if we're unable to recall the planes, then, I'd say that, uh, well, uh, we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. I know they're our boys. All right, well listen, now, who should we call? Who should we call, Dmitri? The what, the People, you, sorry, you faded away there. The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where is that, Dmitri? In Omsk. Right. Yes. Oh, you'll call them first, will you? Uh, huh. Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri? What? I see. Just ask for Omsk information.I'm sorry too, Dmitri. I'm very sorry. All right, you're sorrier than I am. But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri. Don't say that you're the more sorry than I am because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All right."

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

"I can only warn you, not teach you. Beware of what you dream for; the gods have a way of punishing such pride."

"The east has a way of swallowing men and their dreams."

"When men lie together in lust, it is a surrender to the passions and does nothing for the excellence in us. Nor does any other excess, Cassander, jealousy among them. But when men lie together, and knowledge and virtue are passed between them, that is pure and excellent. When they compete to bring out the good, the best in each other, this is the love between men that can build a city-state and lift us from our frog pond."

"If only these frogs could look outward from their favoured position in the centre, Greece could rule the world."

"Excess in all things is the undoing of men!"

"Although an inferior race the Persians control at least four fifths of the known world. They rule and we sit around like frogs!"

"To love excellence is truly to love the gods."

"My Alexander... I remember the young man who wanted to be Achilles, and then out did him."

"You're mortal. And they know it. And they forgive you because you make them proud of themselves."

"Sometimes, to always expect the best of everyone is arrogance."

"The generals question your obsession with Darius... they say it was never meant for you to be King of Asia."

"You're everything I care for and by the sweet breath of Aphrodite I'm so jealous of losing you to this world you want so badly."

"Shane Rimmer - Capt. Ace Owens"

"Tracy Reed - Miss Scott"

"James Earl Jones - Lt. Lothar Zogg"

"Peter Bull - Russian Ambassador Alexi de Sadesky"

"Slim Pickens - Maj. T.J. 'King' Kong"

"Keenan Wynn - Col. 'Bat' Guano"

"Sterling Hayden - Gen. Jack D. Ripper"

"George C. Scott - Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson"

"Peter Sellers - Group Captain Lionel Mandrake/President Merkin Muffley/Dr. Strangelove"

"Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!"

"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."

"Well, boys, I reckon this is it — nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump — we got some flyin' to do."