"After five years, the guilty man confessed, and I was released. But I lost everything. My lawyers took my entire fortune, my wife divorced me, my family was broken up, everything. (Furiously) THOSE TWO BLOODHOUNDS RUINED MY LIFE! I HAD TO FLEE TO MEXICO TO START LIFE ANEW! But I'll run into them again! When I do catch them, I will skin them alive! First the little one, Then the big one! I'll skin them BOTH alive!!!"

"Well, this fella that looked like you had a friend - a human hippopotamus. Why, if I had that mass of blubber here right now, I'd crush him alive like this. [he crushes a handful of nuts into small pieces]"

"Stan Laurel - Stan / Don Sebastian"

"Angelo Rossito as Elmer the Pig"

"Pete Gordon as The Cat and the Fiddle"

"Zebedy Colt as Willie the Pig"

"I don't want to fight any bulls, I don't like bulls. [high-pitched-crying] I'm allergic to bulls!"

"Oliver Hardy - Oliver"

"Russell Coles - Tom Tucker"

"Frank Welker as The Werewolf of Fever Swamp"

"Fred Tatasciore as The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena"

"(The real) R. L. Stine as Mr. Black"

"Brendan Fraser as Slappy the Dummy"

"Will Ferrell as The Lawn Gnomes"

"Eric Goldberg as Brent Green the Invisible Boy"

"Timothy Simons as Officer Stevens"

"Amanda Lund as Officer Brooks"

"Benjamin Papac as Seth (uncredited)"

"Keith Arthur Bolden as Principal Garrison"

"E. Roger Mitchell as The Mayor of Madison (uncredited)"

"Dee Bradley Baker as The Giant Praying Mantis, Haunted Mobile"

"Steven Krueger as Davidson"

"Halston Sage as Taylor"

"The stories are alive"

"You will believe in monsters"

"Jack Black as R. L. Stine"

"Dylan Minnette as Zachary "Zach" Cooper"

"Odeya Rush as Hannah Stine"

"Amy Ryan as Gale Cooper"