"When you break the law, you're a punk. When you break the law with a badge, you're a punk with a badge. I don't strike officers. Punks? Different story."

"Look out, termites. It's squishing time."

"No. No, I can't ask you to do that... But I can tell you I won't be coming home tonight."

"Alex Diakun as Gaunt Man"

"Nicki Aycox - Cheryl Cunningham"

"Fagin Woodcock - Franz Tomczeszyn"

"Xantha Radley - Special Agent Monica Bannan"

"Adam Godley - Father Ybarra"

"Callum Keith Rennie - Janke Dacyshyn"

"Mitch Pileggi - Assistant Director Walter Skinner"

"Alvin "Xzibit" Joiner - Special Agent Mosley Drummy"

"Billy Connolly - Joseph "Father Joe" Crissman"

"Amanda Peet - Special Agent in Charge Dakota Whitney"

"Gillian Anderson - Dr. Dana Scully"

"David Duchovny - Fox Mulder"

"To understand the truth, you have to believe."

"To find the truth, you must believe."

"Believe Again."

"This isn't my life anymore, Mulder. I'm done chasing monsters in the dark."

"Thanks, but I've already been taken for a ride. Besides, he doesn't want me there."

"I'm as happy as a clam."

"This stubbornness of yours, it's why I fell in love with you."

"As far away from the darkness as we can get?"

"The McKenzie brothers beer up under misfortune."

"Chris Benson - Hospital Orderly"

"Buddy the Dog - Hosehead"

"Len Doncheff - Jack Hawkland"

"Douglas Campbell - Henry Green"

"Tom Harvey - The Inspector"

"Mel Blanc - voice of Father McKenzie"

"Brian McConnachie - Ted"

"Paul Dooley - Uncle Claude"

"Angus MacInnes - Jean "Rosie" LaRose"

"Lynne Griffin - Pam Elsinore"

"Max von Sydow - Brewmeister Smith"

"Rick Moranis - Bob McKenzie"

"Dave Thomas - Doug McKenzie"

"Something funny is brewing at Elsinore Castle..."

"Fire Chief: [after Bob has put out the fire at the brewery by urinating on it] It took you two minutes what would have taken us two hours. If you ever want a job, you come see me."

"Don't make me steamroll you. Steamroller!"

"See, if you'd stick to your 12-point maintinence program, eh, then we wouldn't have to jump-start you like this. Oh, no, you had to do it your way... you think you know everything, eh?"

"The power of The Force stopped you, you hosers."

"[to Pam] If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you."

"I gotta take a leak so bad, I can taste it."

"Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges."

"Hey, we found a dead mouse in our beer, eh? That means you owe us a free case."

"Let me try, I'm a genius."