Internet personalities

"Gene Ray: Another thing, did you know your father is a fish? Interviewer: No, I did not know my... [laughter] Gene Ray: You know how salmon swim upstream, the male fertilizes the female eggs laid in the water? Interviewer: Yes. Gene Ray: The sperm fish swims upstream just like the salmon fertilizes female eggs laid in the water."

"No wireless. Less space than a nomad. Lame."

"I had no idea bankruptcy could be so exciting."

"It may be too late for some, but I hope you understand now why I'm a GPL girl."

"[Microsoft] must be testing the outer limits of what a customer will put up with before bolting to Linux, certainly a valuable scientific study from my point of view."

"But the cruellest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn't. (23 March 2008)"

"Well, here goes. I LIKE those areas of hentai which depict acts that aren't illegal or sexually deviant. I LIKE seeing pictures of tits. I LIKE to drop momentarily into a little fantasy world where everyone is beautiful and blowjobs are offered in return for fixing the sink. And why not? I'm 100% red hot hunk of man, and all men like watching boobies jiggling around, when they're not lifting weights, grunting and messing around under the bonnets of expensive cars (the men, that is, not the boobies). So there. I've said it. I like hentai. Poo on you. (20 October 2003: Hentaising )"

"It all smacks of trying to have your cake and eat it, although I’ve never understood that phrase. I don’t know what else you could do with a cake. Hold doors open, maybe. (6 March 2006)"

"Rips in the space time continuum look a lot like vaginas. (19 April 2006)"

"Piss poo dangly shit arse fuck wee....Fuck cunt willy willy wank piss mung. (26 November 2004)"

"When you think about it, when you overlook the ingrained taboos of society and think for your own fucking self for once, it doesn't make much sense that murder is illegal when we still have no idea what death IS, exactly. For all we know the human body is merely a stopping-off point where we learn wisdom and patience in preparation for the next, ultimate state of existence, beings of pure light, at one with the universe and with minds encompassing a thousand galaxies. And for all we know, you only get to do all this if you die before you turn 40. In that case, being murdered could be the greatest thing anyone ever does for you. (5 October 2004)"

"What was your favourite single player Quake level? One of the forty identical greenish-brown castles or one of the forty identical brownish-green castles? (2 December 2004)"

"And then we come to the physics engine. Oh, the physics engine, for which so much praise has been sung. What they say is all true. It is fantastic the way you can pick up boxes, the way they fall, the way they tip over, the way they smash into bits when you hit them. (On Half-Life 2, 26 November 2004)"

"I know you can argue that the player is supposed to project themselves onto Freeman, but if that's the case, why give him a name? A backstory? An iconic appearance? All the other characters have known him for years, we can't really project ourselves because Freeman has a known history and reputation. Hell, he's the fucking messiah figure for the oppressed masses. (13 July 2006)"

"Starring Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, The Slightly Mannish Woman and A Big Keanu-Reeves Shaped Piece Of Wood! (On the Matrix Reloaded, 24 June 2003)"

"Yes, I have been harvested by mainstream media for whatever time remains for television to still be called 'mainstream' before the internet destroys it once and for all. (14 February 2008)"

"Games with ragdoll death animations just make it look even more ridiculous. One moment an enemy is strafing and firing at full speed, the next his entire body just goes limp like Mr. Scotty teleported his skeleton out of his body or something. (19 July 2007)"

"So I finally sold out and bought an Ipod the other day. I haven't sold out to the point that I'd spell it with a lower case I and a capital P like the makers insist upon, though. (5 June 2007)"

"You couldn't make this any smaller without needing a sewing needle and magnifying glass to work it. I'm tempted to see if I can swallow it, and belch the White Album all the way home. (On his iPod Shuffle, 5 June 2007)"

"All I can say is this: either every single member of that army had been promised a blow job of the Gods as soon as they got their queen back, or the Greeks invented brainwashing. (On the Greeks and the Trojan War, 31 May 2004)"

"Yeah, I haven't updated in a while. What are you going to do about it, motherfucker? Oh yeah, you know your place. (17 June 2006)"

"Today marks the completion of my twenty-third year on this foetid planet. Who would have thought I'd make it this long without dying of mercury poisoning or swallowing my own tongue or something like that. (24 May 2006)"

"I haven't really commented on the whole Steve Irwin thing. Since I live in the country he arguably embodied this seems like a tragic oversight. I mean, he was Australian, I live in Australia, he wrestled crocodiles, I pick my nose a lot, it was like losing a little part of me or something. But when that stingray broke his little heart and a nation was united in grief - or at least a media was - I kept conspicuously silent. I even had some prepared witticisms I could have used, like "I bet the crocodiles are pissed off that they never got around to it first" or "The guy who went for 'stingray' in the 'animal by which Steve Irwin will one day be killed' betting pool is pretty fucking happy right now". (16 October 2006)"

"The 'wemon' is a shy creature and bathrooms offer it comfort by reminding it of its native Sweden! Try to lure it out with a few styrofoam packing peanuts and scratch it gently behind the ears. (5 October 2005)"

"I'd just like to point out that Billy Joel looks like the result of a depraved breeding experiment between Ringo Starr and the tall bloke from Everybody Loves Raymond. (7 July 2004)"

"God damn X-Entertainment. God damn it for being so god damn interesting that I'd rather sit reading their god damn articles when I should be doing some god damn work. God damn them. God damn the doctor for putting me on these god damn pills that make me god damn drowsy and fucked up all god damn morning. God damn everything. Then god damn god damning. (18 August 2004)"

"Christians are a funny lot, aren't they? It doesn't seem to matter what their God does, they'll just keep on loving him regardless. (8 November 2003)"

"I am a consumer, part of the system of capitalism. To the corporations that control our lives, I am nothing but a huge mouth wearing designer jeans, just one of billions, to be cajoled or threatened with advertising into giving my money to people who already have too much. Although I vocally consider this a despicable state of affairs, I buy their loveless food and wear their manufactured garments. I am simultaneously antagonist and component. (7 October 2003)"

"Bush wouldn't be so bad if it was just him jumping up and down on the corpse of international diplomacy, but we've got Blair as well, kneeling behind him and rhythmically planting a kiss on each buttock with each of the American President's gleeful bounds. (17 July 2003)"

"So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it. (3 July 2003)"

"Anyway, if anyone reading this hasn't seen the Dark Knight yet, you officially aren't allowed on the internet until you rectify that. I think I should give it a few months and maybe watch it again on DVD before giving a definitive opinion, because being a massive cynic I'm immediately suspicious of any film that appears on the surface to be absolutely fucking legendary. (19 July 2008)"

"I used to be one of the guys, you know. I used to be another faceless contributor in a wall of opinion. I miss those days. (1 August 2008)"

"Guess you'd be better off going to the Escapist for regular ZP updates, hm? And why not click on some ads while you're there. (21 August 2008)"

"Women admire naked women as the kind of body they would like to have, while men admire naked women as the kind of body they would like to have tied down and squealing on the end of their dicks. (12 January 2005)"

"I love having my conscious brain deactivated by a mindless repetitive task and the rest of it drifting off into the wonderful lands of make believe. (3 April 2007)"

"Saying that a smoker inhales over 4000 chemicals is as meaningful as saying that fun runners pass over 4000 different kinds of rock, and because that rock may contain dinosaur fossils, said fun runners are at risk of velociraptor attack. (21 March 2007)"

"Quod Erat Demonstrandum, fuckers. (25 April 2005)"

"Sex is squalid, uncomfortable, and messy. (18 April 2005)"

"Did we learn nothing from Terminator 3? Apart from the fact that Arnold Schwarzeneggar can act in the same way that octopi can figure skate. (27 March 2005)"

"Nowadays, everyone seems to be emotionally dead, like zombies in pinstripe suits. Trudging to work each day to make a living, queueing up at McDonalds for their daily fuel intake, coming home to vegetate in front of the TV for hours on end. (22 October 2004)"

"I'm always one to concentrate on a person's good qualities - I've spoken up for Jeffrey Dahmer, for fuck's sake - but here I am at a loss. I cannot perceive a single redeeming feature in Paris Hilton... (15 November 2004)"

"Asking after my wellbeing is like asking after the wellbeing of someone in Sweden because a fire broke out in Portugal. Yes alright, Americans, go and look up where those countries are, I'll wait. (In reference to the fires in Victoria, Australia, 12 February 2009)"

"Don't you think it's weird how so many awards these days look like rough crystal formations freshly carved from the rock? Oh I guess you wouldn't know because YOU DON'T WIN AWARDS (25 April 2009)"

"So if you're still playing the game or care in the slightest about having the plot spoiled, try not to accidentally trip, fall forward and highlight all of the following text. (3 June 2009)"

"On the bright side, however, it means I get to stay at home and stare at a computer screen all day as opposed to go to work and stare at a computer screen all day. (On being sick, 15 May 2003)"

"So, Brussels have come up with a little thing called a European Constitution, which will unite all of the European Union into a single superstate, governed by a single government. There may be a problem with everyone speaking different languages and hating each other, but seemingly insurmountable problems have been solved in the past. Like Mount Everest, or making a film based on the Lord of the Rings. (14 May 2003)"

"I had written a beautiful piece for today. It was a rant about how much I despise Halloween. It was witty, well-written and a shining example of a writer at the top of his form. Then I tried to save it, and my computer crashed. So I guess you won't get to read it. Out of all the people in the world, I am the only one who had the opportunity to read my brilliant Halloween article, and now the text is already fading from my cruel, cruel short-term memory, the paragraphs lost in a whirling sea of data, never to be seen again. (31 October 2002)"

"...so come along and watch me fearfully from fifty yards away like you usually do. (6 September 2009)"

"Is it just me, or are the number of comments steadily going down each week? Am I just losing my touch, or has everyone wised up and realised that commenting on internet videos is viciously futile? (4 October 2009)"

"You know how it is, you go away for a week and all the work piles up like a big heap of mail holding your front door closed. (8 November 2009)"

"I heard a story that Guinness once decided to stop advertising. Everybody knew what Guinness was. Everyone who liked and regularly drunk Guinness wouldn't find out anything new about Guinness from TV spots and they were guaranteed sales as long as St. Patrick's Day existed. But you know what happened? Their sales plummeted. Very, very quickly. So next time you complain about adverts on TV or in the cinema or even on my online videos, remember that it wouldn't be necessary if you weren't all such flighty cunts. (4 August 2010)"

"The thing is, if you complain to me about it, you are basically complaining to the pig because your sausages were undercooked. I know my name is on the front of the cover in big fat serifed letters, but I've got nothing to do with distribution and sales or anything to do with Amazon. If you are dissatisfied with their service, then complain to them. Repeatedly. With sticks. (16 September 2010 in regards to Mogworld issues on Amazon.com)"

"A 'relationship' occurs when two people run out of things to say to each other, so they shut each other up by putting their genitals in each other's mouths. A break up comes about when they run out of things to do with those, too. (11 November 2010)"

"Yahtzee was born in Warwickshire, England, on the day of the great storm of 1983. Twenty years later, when England had become too small to accommodate the five hundred kilometre-wide tumour growing out of the back of his neck, he moved to Brisbane, Australia, where a chance encounter with an enraged surfer caused the tumour to become detached. It has now gone on to star in a number of Japanese fetish videos, while Yahtzee occupies a treehouse on the edge of the city, struggling to learn how to live with corks around his hat. The enraged surfer tries to keep in touch, but Yahtzee never answers his phone. (About page)"

"Girls: Please do not offer yourself to Yahtzee. He found that this got old very fast. (Contact page)"

"Did you see that recent flick, Hollow Man? Good effects but the dialogue was crap. Kevin Bacon is a hot shot scientist who, together with his hot shot scientist mates, turns himself invisible, but then finds that he can't turn himself back. So he goes insane and decides to kill all his mates, blow up the lab and ride off into the sunset on a very confused horse. (Why it would kick arse to be invisible)"

"being invisible means you can immerse yourself in a crowd and start clasping boobs and buttocks, then leap aside and laugh as some poor chap gets a clip round the ear. Laugh quietly obviously. And changing rooms! You can sneak into changing rooms and sit right there in the middle of the place while pretty girls get wet and take all their clothes off. You could go and hide in the showers themselves, but since the water on your body wouldn't be invisible you'd have to rely on them not noticing a semi-transparent man appear in the corner. You could pretend to be a novelty glass statue, but you wouldn't be able to explain the developing glass stiffy. (Why it would kick arse to be invisible)"

"Kevin Bacon (or whatever the character's name was - I'd imagine his friends would call him that as a friendly jibe because he bears an uncanny resemblance to Kevin Bacon) (Why it would kick arse to be invisible)"

"This [article] doesn't mean that I actually want to be Lara Croft. In writing this I'm not admitting that I occasionally dress up in a tight top and khaki hotpants and prance around pointing two hairdryers at my dog. In this little article I am pointing out why, if you happen to be Lara Croft, that you should be very pleased with yourself. (Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft)"

"Well, I know what I would do if I temporarily found that the minds of Ms. Croft and I had switched. Firstly I would dress up in all the clothes I could find in her wardrobe, place a full-length dress mirror in front of the shower, get inside, turn it on and take all the clothes off really, really slowly to the tune of "You sexy thang" by Hot Chocolate. Then I would hunt down my original body and the bewildered hot chick inside, throw it to the floor in the nearest cyber cafe and begin making mad passionate love to it approximately fifteen seconds before our minds were due to be switched back. Firstly, this would pander to my ego no end, and secondly, I would then wake up to find myself living the geek's dream - surrounded by computers and boinking Lara Croft. Score! Actually this isn't really a reason why being her would kick arse, this is more me being weird. (Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft)"

"When she meets a powerful man she's more likely to try and blow him away than blow him off. Stop that erection right now, you sick, sick boy. Stop it! Concentrate, that's how! (Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft)"

"[Downs Syndrome Winnie the Pooh] The minute I saw this in a catalogue I just fell about. It's so brave of Disney to introduce stuffed toys that represent serious illnesses in order to educate the little kiddies. Me, I just want this so I can make my very own 'Victorian Sanitarium' playset. Downs Syndrome Pooh will be kept perpetually in a bleak little cardboard cell, bullied by Doctor Action Man and Nurse Princess Leia, occasionally brought out to be brutally hosed down with cold water every week. I'm thinking of sending it to Hasbro. (Yahtzee's Christmas Wishlist)"

"[PDP100 Duck Popcorn Maker] Actually I don't really want this, I just wanted to show you it, as this is the most disgusting popcorn maker I have ever seen. Actually this might be good for my Victorian Sanitarium playset. He could be the weak-stomached young doctor who keeps throwing up when they bring in Downs Syndrome Pooh for more experimental brain surgery. (Yahtzee's Christmas Wishlist)"

"Apparently this is true, according to one The_Mad_Revisionist, who is incidentally the aforementioned one man who believes fervently that (a) the moon does not exist, and (b) there's a huge worldwide conspiracy covering this up. Amazing how times change; as little as a hundred years ago we used to keep loonies like this in big sanitariums where they get poked with sticks and hosed down with cold water every night. Nowadays, we just give them websites. Heh. I just realised you could make a half-decent Matrix parody out of this guy. There Is No Moon. (Meet the crazy moon man)"

"What's more, all these cars go at pretty much exactly the same speed, so you have twenty-odd machines going around and around a track patiently waiting for the one in front to make a cock up. Maybe it would be interesting if drivers made a cock up more often, slamming into walls with really impressive explosions and bits of twisted metal flying everywhere. But no, they train the gits too well. They should have every car being driven by a chimpanzee. I'd watch that. Fuck, I'd sponsor it. (Snormula 1)"

"The question that no-one ever asks in the Pokemon world is why that long-dead illustrious and ethical human being, having created the technology to store big things in very small things, decided to use this gimmick the way he did - storing potentially deadly ferocious animals with magic powers in a little thingy that you can hang off your belt. Because he wanted the power, that's why. He wanted to know the ecstasy of holding five deadly creatures round his waist. He probably got off on that sort of thing, the sick weirdo. (Why it would kick arse to be a Pokemon trainer)"

"Oh, and for the benefit of those people who think I haven't been English enough in my recent articles: Bum bollocks tosser cor blimey guvnor eccles cakes apples and pears god save the queen fish and chips I hate yanks etc. (More from the Poetry Corner)"

"Because as any nerd will tell you, our greatest weapon in the ongoing battle against those buff sporty types and the suave prettyboys are the Nerds With Girlfriends. Nothing infuriates them more. (Person Without Girlfriend)"

"Most sensitive part of the male human physique, and he places it in almost the exact geological centre of the body, right between the legs, dangling down in it's own special bag. He might as well have painted them fluorescent orange and made the hair above it grow into the words 'your foot goes here'. (Where God Went Wrong)"

"[begin list of sophomoric puns] I bet he'd find a place up the chimney of any woman. He's certainly good at filling their stockings. Trouble is, he wouldn't be much good as a lover as he can only come once a year. [end list of sophomoric puns] (Why Chicks Dig Father Christmas)"

"No book critic has ever tried to assess the Old Testament. Maybe they should. I did once. It's a crap story and it's very badly written. (Where God Went Wrong)"

"Ha, ha, ha! Never let it be said Americans are unconcerned about foreign countries. You're so nice to us you very kindly elected a complete vegetable as your president, so we can all point and laugh! (My Tribute to the U.S.)"

"You know what's so great about junk food? Fat people who eat too much die young from cholesterol poisoning! It's a problem that solves itself! (My Tribute to the U.S.)"

"I have a very patchy memory of my childhood. It's one of the things about myself I'm most proud of. (More From the Poetry Corner)"

"We've learned that you should never trust English professors who stick computer chips in their arms, breakfast cereal mascots, Stephen King, the Borg collective, vegetarians, Christians, Microsoft Word helpers and people who put five exclamation marks on the ends of their statements. (I'm Off)"

"I once saw some magician bloke turn a carton of orange juice into orange juice, beer, milk, coke and ginger ale. That makes him five times better than Jesus or something. (Why it Would Kick Arse to be Jesus)"

"The cake is vanilla; I asked for chocolate; The tears They will not stop. (Prince of Persia: Emo Warrior)"

"People followed Jesus, I think because they wanted to have sex with him. Ho yes, they so wanted some of that holy jiggy-jiggy! (cough) sorry. (Why it Would Kick Arse to be Jesus)"

"Also, you can't prove that there isn't a ghost of Bagpuss hovering right behind your head as you read this. He's right there, man! No, he disappeared right after you turned your head. I swear he's there. Look, he's back again now! (Meet the Crazy Moon Man)"

"Yes, let me tell you about my favourite Disney character. And afterwards, let's all have a magical tea party under the enchanted tree, then we can have a delightful game of pooh sticks, you fucking pansy. (The 100 Questions)"

"In answer to your first question, of course God was good in bed! He's perfect in every way! God not only knows the secret path to the clitoris, but he's also aware of a little nerve just underneath the right shoulder blade connected directly to a lady's pleasure centre! (Ask Yahtzee 3)"

"Greek mythology tells us that the Gods invented woman as a punishment after man got a hold of some stolen goods. Obviously, this was just the mythological explanation given by the primitive early men to explain the real origin of women, which was this: THEY CAME DOWN IN SPACESHIPS. Yes, all women are space aliens who have come from a far-off galaxy to enslave mankind. (Ask Yahtzee)"

"The national dress of Great Britain is, from the ground up, a pair of Roman sandals, a kilt, a gunbelt, a t-shirt bearing the likeness of Mr. T, a garland of flowers and a horned Viking helmet. (How to be British)"

"Perfectly coloured to be camouflaged totally in a 60's living room, the zebra has powerful legs and a thirst for blood! (Fight or Flight?)"

"But now I play Silent Hill too much, because it is the most awesome series in the world that proves if proof be needed that the Japanese are just so much better at this whole 'horror' thing. (Silent Hill Showdown)"

"There's nothing I enjoy more than sitting down with a big piece of marmite on toast and reading through the archives of a good webcomic. The only problem is that the good webcomics are all hidden behind pile upon pile of testicle sweat masquerading as entertainment. (The Only Good Comics on the Internet)"

"Keep in mind that this is only my opinion, but also keep in mind that I'm always right. (The Only Good Comics on the Internet)"

"Ah, spam. Where would we be without spam? I'll tell you where. We'll be living in a lush, verdant paradise, unspoilt by rejected technology, where men and women of all creeds and races can join hands and sing for the sheer joy of being alive. (The Spam Man Cometh)"

"How long does it take to shut up a baby? How long does it take to run through the possibilities? Are they hungry, sleepy or sitting around in a pile of shit? If it's the second option I'm sure we can all sympathise. But how long could the process of elimination take?..... I'm sure it's wrong to wish death on a baby, but for the first time in my life I'm actually trying to awaken some kind of latent psychic ability I could use to will the life from the little pillock. Or, fuck it, maybe I'll just walk over and wring it like a flannel. (Travel Notes)"

"The presence of The Sean has a tendency to taint a film, I find, because he is never his character; he's always just The Sean. (The Leauge of Extraordinary Gentlemen)"

"Ah, those were the days. David Bowie, Status Quo, The Beatles ... no end of artists I could say I enjoyed in order to sound clever and pretentious. (The Dark Side of Beatles Songs)"

"...you could pick any two writers of equal skill, have them read each other's work, and they would both instantly proclaim each other the champion. Unless one of them happens to be Stephen King, because he's a jerk. (God Ran Out of Faces)"

"Michael Atkinson vows to continue to 'fight' violent media. Which seems a bit like trying to turn the tide back with a water pistol. (20 January 2010)"

"I don't post on forums or comments for the same reason I don't attempt to french kiss pneumatic drills. (24 January 2010)"

"The zip on my wallet broke, sealing the money inside. How am I supposed to buy a new wallet? (29 January 2010)"

"Developers usually know their game's flaws better than anyone. Deadlines and publisher meddling are why they don't get fixed. (4 February 2010)"

"The only thing worse than being single on Valentine's day is being single on Valentine's day while living with a couple. (14 February 2010)"

"Humanity will be forever at war as long as there is no common enemy. World peace demands a new Hitler. (16 February 2010)"

"There's something oddly satisfying about coughing up a particularly big mouthful of phlegm. Could almost let you skip breakfast. (1 April 2010)"

"I feel bad when I'm the only person on the bus. It's like I'm the only person who showed up to the driver's birthday party. (28 June 2010)"

"I'm not misogynist. I resent that. I hate women, yes, but only because I hate everyone. (25 June 2010)"

"A comment on Mogworld's Amazon page has already declared it to be terrible. Proof that future time travellers are among us? (12 July 2010)"

"Last night at the bar someone asked me to say something 'hot and sexy'. All I could think of on the fly was 'Hayden Christensen'. (7 September 2010)"

""Hey, mister professional game critic, have you ever heard of this obscure game called 'Deus Ex'?" This is why I hate reading my email. (12 September 2010)"

"So I'm eating Subway this evening when a beetle flies down and burrows into my sandwich. Never a bad time to start losing weight, is there. (6 October 2010)"

"Valentines card idea: "You are my iron lung. Let me come inside you and breathe heavily." (10 October 2010)"

"The strippers in Duke3d iPhone don't get their tits out. Fuck off. That's like cutting Aeris' death out of Final Fantasy 7. (24 November 2010)"

"Rest assured, Mogworld's not being entirely released online. Just the first part. I would still like your money. That would be lovely. (16 December 2010)"

"But as any sixteen-year-old sweatily bringing a Playboy up to the counter of a newsagent's expecting everyone in the room to suddenly point and start screaming like the guy from Invasion of the Body Snatchers will tell you, titties become considerably more satisfying when you have to work for them. (26 December 2010)"

"Thinking about morality. If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler moustache? (31 December 2010)"

"If you honestly need the calendar to instruct you to show affection to your partner then what kind of loveless nightmare are you trapped in (14 February 2011)"

"Idea for movie: alcohol-based LXG-style crossover in which buddy heroes Jack Daniels and Jim Beam sail around the world with Captain Morgan. Jack's girlfriend is called Midori and she likes having sex on the beach. Their smartmouth talking pet is the Famous Grouse. (2 June 2011)"

"I've made a lot of box art do a lot of horrible things over the years in the name of critique. SOPA could stop my dirty foreigner ways. (18 January 2012)"

"Winning the lottery is like slipping your hand into the bra of the most beautiful woman in the world, then getting it stuck and having to saw it off at the wrist. (Chapter Eight)"

"I rolled my eyes at Rose, but she returned the look with a scowl which suggested that, if we ever got out of this alive, she would have some issues to address with myself and my polaroid camera. (Chapter Nine)"

""Those shells don't look very comfortable, miss." - Edited from the original script of the Little Mermaid (Chapter Eleven)"

"Maybe it was the quest that mattered most, not the outcome. (The Last Bit)"

"The curtains were drawn, and the only source of light - indeed, the object to which my attention was suddenly exclusively drawn - was a lit candle on the kitchen table, that had probably originally been shaped like Snoopy but was now a mass of melted rivulets, as if Snoopy had fallen victim to some kind of flesh-eating virus. (Chapter One)"

"It was as we were sailing out onto the wide chinchilla sea that I noticed how every chinchilla looked exactly like Marlboro, the chinchilla I had owned as a ten-year-old and which I had put inside a popcorn machine to see what would happen. Then the boat ran aground on the biggest chinchilla ever. (Chapter Two)"

"At this time I was hesitant to venture into the greenery, because I wasn't keen on the possibility of having spiders the size of basketballs drop onto my face from overhead branches and refuse to let go. (...) Hunger pains were moving to the 'excruciating' stage by mid-morning. After a last-ditch attempt to extract nutrients from filling my mouth with sand, I decided that, if a big spider the size of a basketball dropped onto my face and tried to eat it, I would eat it back and we could turn the whole thing into an exciting competition. (Chapter Two)"

""I'm going on a picnic," went Penfold. "And I'm taking anthrax, beer, coffee, doughnuts, estrogen, flamingoes, glue, horses, ink, jelly, Knackwurst, lemonade, murder and Nurofen." (Chapter Fifteen)"

"Games should be remembered, not remastered."

"I’d like the power to make things die with the power of my mind. Not because I have any specific use in mind for it; I just think it’d be useful to have for difficult social situations. Like, if you’re trying to sleep on a plane and a bloke three seats down is laughing really loudly at a film. Or if someone’s trying to make me say something nice about their hideous baby, it would be a good way to change the subject. But then again, that’s really just replacing one awkward social situation with another."

"...at the end of the day, nothing makes me feel more positive than something I can get really pissed off about."

"If you don't give a shit then you can only be pleasantly surprised, and I've been burnt too often by disappointment to fall for it again."

"'Medium,' 'Large' and 'King Size'? What the fuck is that? How the fuck can 'Medium' be the smallest? Do you even know what the word 'Medium' means? This is why you're all so fat, you bunch of road sign-shooting Yankee pillocks."

"My secret? Hm. Well, I think the secret is this. Don't come up with a really ambitious twelve-CD monster for your first project, because it'll be doomed very quickly. For your very first release, make something small. Put as much effort into it as you can muster, but don't feel pressured. Then, for every subsequent release, push yourself just a little bit harder to make a better product. By the time you've churned out your sixth or seventh, you'll have a pretty solid reputation."

"Ctrl+Alt+Del is the Rubbish King, sitting proudly on a throne of rotting meat."

"My main inspiration is sardonic British TV critics like Charlie Brooker, whose excellent show Screenwipe is fully on Youtube, and I recommend everyone watch it. He used to write for a PC magazine I read fanatically as a child. My own style is a mixture of him, possibly Douglas Adams, and internet writers like Seanbaby, Old Man Murray, or Something Awful. I’m such a rip-off."

"I believe in being cruel to be kind. I love gaming, I have done all my life. I want to see it lifted in the eyes of the general public above how they view it now. Pottering endlessly about with the same dreary plots and game mechanics isn't helping any of us evolve."

"Evoking fear is, in itself, an art form – and nothing in the entire history of storytelling has explored it better than video games."

"Consider how The Dark Knight got away with a rating of PG-13 in the US by skilfully not showing any blood. Does that make it any more suitable for children? Or will there be a generation of youngsters haunted by visions of white-faced sadists brandishing pencils?"

"Since I long ago decided that I hated kids and never wanted to have them, my reproductive instinct has transferred to my creativity, I've always wanted to create works that will ensure I'm remembered after I die. I don't think I've done that yet, though."

"You're never alone when you're totally self-absorbed."

"I seem to have gathered a reputation for being a jerk in real life, because frankly fans make me uncomfortable. Complete strangers come up and talk to me like they've known me their whole lives, and for that reason I can seem a bit stand-offish... No, the whole "fan" thing confuses me."

"Religion should be something you keep within the confines of your own head, and we should all recognize how pointless it is to try and make other people see the fairies that live in your brain."

"I'm not a great judge of my own work, me. I'm constantly referring to the ZP Wikiquote page to find out for myself what the funniest line that week was."

"It's easy to make games for kids, they're dumb little shits."

"With infinite choice at our fingertips, we don't have to expose ourselves for an instant to anything that challenges our views if we don't want to. So the walls of the echo chambers grow stronger and stronger, until we only hear from the echo chamber next door when the shouty extremists are shouting, and their absurd views only make us more convinced of our own righteousness."

"If crowdfunding has this idea of rebellion to it, and of circumventing the system, then these crowdfunding sites aren't really freedom. We're just creating another gatekeeper."

"There are three things that they could conceivably do... They could replace me immediately and have somebody else play Dillon. I’m okay with that because I think Dillon needs a reboot. It would be interesting to see somebody else’s take on him. Two, they could kill him, which I would hope they wouldn’t do, just because I would like the opportunity to maybe come back. Depending how they did that, I’d have to go back and shoot that. It would give me a chance to say goodbye and the opportunity to try to pull it together and act well one last time. That would be really profound for me. Or three, they’d have Dillon leave town. I would be wholly and entirely complimented if the door stayed open. I know that’s a lot to ask of them and the door can’t stay open for long. That’s just the rules of the game."

"I’m looking forward to the peace of mind to just write... Songwriting is something that I just fell into. I never expected to love it. But I’ve always had to kind of treat it like a hobby. Now it’s going to feel so good to know that I can just sit down and write."

"In my opinion, if the human race is going to survive, [religion] is something we definitely need to get over — and we're far from over it, and so therefore, I'm far from over it."

"Even if the absence of evidence for a given god were not evidence of its absence, it would still be evidence that the belief in that god is unreasonable. That's the only proposition that any atheist of any kind has to demonstrate in order to win the argument. Because anything beyond that... is just having fun."

"In my downtime, for fun, I engage in philosophical internet debates. Yeah, I'm that guy."

"I know that YouTube has made me smarter just by having to think about my views and how to defend them."

"I don’t get to just say what I want, as I work for a company and I have obligations, and so I can’t go around being disrespectful to everybody. However, with as much integrity and respect as possible, I would love any public opportunity to challenge conventional beliefs, especially ones religious in nature and especially ones that have affected my life. Someday it would be great to write a book on that kind of thing. I feel like I have something to say, and it’s not something everyone else is saying."

"It's always a source of anxiety, come Emmy time... People are so supportive and so kind, but they put ideas in your head that you don't want to hear. They go, 'I know you're going to win,' and then when you lose, those same people don't want to make eye contact with you. I don't know who's more embarrassed, me or them."

"I read because I love the experience, because it is a powerful teacher of life, because it transforms me."

"Make it so easy you can't say no."

"Now think about every object you touch — your phone, a dish, a cup, a book, your laptop, your shirt. Imagine that each object were sacred, precious, a deeply valuable gift. Imagine that they were as valuable as your eyeballs. Now imagine treating this object with the kind of care and respect you'd treat your own eyeballs with. Would this change how you treat things?"

"We can create a fearless life by living daily out of our comfort zone, and in the deliciousness of uncertainty."

"[Yahoo!] found the way to destroy the most massive amount of history in the shortest amount of time with absolutely no recourse."

"So you can be a historian and also be an asshole."

"“Google is a library or archive like a supermarket is a food museum.”"

"Neutral Point of View is a doctrine about how Wikipedia articles should be written. Like wikipedia itself, it is a great idea in theory. In application, of course, it turns into yet another hammer for wonks and whackjobs to beat each other and innocent bystanders."

"Jason Scott is an arrogant, self-impressed idiot who thinks he's god's gift to techies because he remembers "the golden days" of BBS's."

"The global warming crowd is using all the surface data, including cities like L.A. to support their claim, and the data is flawed because it's influenced by human development. It's about asphalt, not the atmosphere."

"I'm betting on the sun's increased activity in the last century, and that CO2 doesn't matter much because its effect is overwhelmed by everything else in our atmosphere that also acts as a greenhouse gas, mostly water vapor."

"I'm comfortable with my position because I see clear evidence that climate change is driven mainly by the sun."

"CO2 is far from being the biggest greenhouse gas. Chloroflourocarbons (CFC's) commonly used as refrigerants [are] far worse. Of naturally created GHG's, Methane is 23 times more effective at warming the atmosphere than CO2. Nitrous Oxide is even worse at 296. So far no emergency legislation has been authored to eliminate the effect of cows or dental surgeons."

"The sun is still the number 1 factor in our energy balance. No matter how much people argue about CO2, they can't successfully explain the pre industrial revolution 900-1300AD Medieval Warming Period or the cold 1645-1715 AD Maunder Sunspot Minimum that coincided with European crop failure, famine and disease while linking it with our modern day issues with CO2 to climate change. Yet sunspots and solar cycles can and do explain both."

"If both Mars and Earth are experiencing global warming, then maybe there is a larger phenomenon going on in the Solar System that is causing their global climates to change, like changes in the Sun."

"It's all about the sun. Just take a look at the picture above and notice just how small earth is compared to the sun, or even a large solar flare. Anybody whom thinks the human race has more effect on our global energy balance than an active sun does is just deluding themselves."

"Should a record setting year or string of them be cause for alarm? Personally I don't think so."

"I've been saying this all along… the sun is the Big Kahuna of climate change on earth."

"As I've always said, the sun is the "Big Kahuna" of climate change on Earth. Everything else is secondary, even though man's opinion of his own self importance in the scheme of things often dictates otherwise."

"[T]he folks who would have you believe that our climate is driven by increasing CO2 and nothing else, will continue to ignore the sun, as it serves their agenda to do so."

"The UK's Channel 4 premiered a 75-minute film titled, The Great Global Warming Swindle. Through interviews with prize-winning climate experts and others, this masterful documentary explains the origins of global warming alarmism; factually addresses claims of manmade global climate change; exposes the motivations of organizations, scientists and activists sounding the alarm; and explains why it's been extremely difficult, if not downright career killing, for scientists to question global warming orthodoxy publicly. While presenting hard facts, it is artfully done, making it watchable for the layman and scientist alike."

"The emphasis this week seems to be on the sun, and the fact that maybe its really the sun which has been driving climate change after all. That's what I've been saying for years, because its just unrealistic to ignore the largest and single most important contributor to our planets energy balance and to only focus on made-made CO2 and nothing else."

"So what's easier to believe as the cause of climate change? That a trace gas called CO2 that has increased on earth from about 280 PPM to 380 PPM in the last 100 years is the cause, or that the giant nuclear fireball a thousand times bigger than earth a mere 8 light-minutes away has been getting more active during the same period is the reason?"

"I have to think that because NASA chose to co-author this paper [LaDochy et al., 2007] with researchers at California State University, that some of the statewide "global warming as man-made problem bias" crept into the thinking for the purpose of this paper, i.e. "we need another study to show that its getting hotter so action is justified"."

"Our earth is warmed by a gigantic nuclear fireball, millions of times the mass of earth and a mere 8.5 light-minutes away. One hundred and nine Earths would be required to fit across the Sun's disk, and its interior could hold over 1.3 million Earths. ... You can't just ignore that kind of power. Though it seems some prefer to, since it muddles the results they seek."

"James Carville used to remind Clinton during the '92 campaign that "its the economy, stupid". I say that on the subject of Global Warming: "its the SUN, stupid"."

"It's been warmer than today's climate in the past, much warmer. It has been colder than this climate in the past, much colder. We know this for a fact. We know that this happens with or without our activities. ... So why do we insist that we are the ones causing it when for over half a million years it happened several times and we’ve only had this supposedly evil earth killing CO2 belching technology a mere speck of that time? Because, many believe global warming is real and there are people in our political world who want the masses to hand over power over their lives to them, so they say "let us handle it". To make that transition easier, they trot out this false premise, that we are totally responsible for natural occurrences in the long span of our planetary history."

"When we look at the Anthropogenic Global Warming argument, it seems on the surface that we are completely full of ourselves and yet at the same time terribly dubious, sometimes completely without hope, and utterly given to embracing our own fallibility as a cause célèbre. We show no faith in ourselves by accepting this idea that we’ve caused Global Warming and still none in the idea that we can stop it. These are hollow beliefs put forth to enrich the power of the few whom offer us the way to salvation."

"Often we lose sight of our place in the universe, some never knew at all just how miniscule we humans are compared to everything else."

"So we have three planets now with a warming trend; Earth, Mars, and Neptune. That's not an insignificant coincidence."

"In my opinion, the premise of CO2 burial seems absurd not only because of the lack of supporting evidence for certain climate change, but also due to it's lack of foresight as to the effects of the burial scheme."

"You know, for as much as we humans think we really have control over our planet, nature tends to remind us from time to time that we are just flyspecks in the vastness of space and energy."

"Why would a committee award such a prestigious prize right on the heels of his documentary [An Inconvenient Truth] being proven inaccurate and prone to exaggerations?"

"To me, the fact that the suns magnetic field is linked more closely to earth now lends credence to theories like that of Henrik Svensmark, which points to an extraterrestrial driver of climate change, cosmic rays which form cloud nuclei in our atmosphere, modulated by solar variance."

"I'm not sure the "remarkable Arctic warmth" is real, especially since the disappearance of arctic sea ice during that time has been linked not to warmer temperatures, but to wind patterns by other researchers at NASA."

"The vanity held by many of us puny humans tends to bolster a belief that we control our own destiny within the universe, or are even masters of our own climate control. Recent events such as the PDO shift remind us that the slow but powerful forces of nature remain in control."

"The Surface Stations site has been up two days now, and I’m getting hundreds of registrations across the country from people wanting to get involved in the grass roots effort to photograph, measure, catalog and contribute to the database of weather stations. I’m getting inquires from Congress, Policy think tanks, and bloggers worldwide... I’ve been invited to submit a research paper, and I’m having a lot of fun too. Now I know why I lost the school board election, it was to give me time to do this. Everything happens for a reason."

"There's a tendency to view ourselves, our endeavors, and our accomplishments as the pinnacle. Yet, compared to whats in our solar system, whats in our galaxy, and whats in our universe, we are but a mere speck in the vastness of time, space, mass, and energy."

"And finally we have this, this discovery that Earth's magnetic field can be ripped open and our atmosphere laid bare to the solar wind, much like Mars. Magnetism is underrated in the grand scheme of things, in my opinion. We'd do well to pay more attention to magnetic trends in our corner of the universe and what effects it has on Earthly climate."

"Of course we all know that the human race has historically done better during warm periods. While we've seen a slight warming in the last century, we've also seen a worldwide improvement in the human condition. Warm – what's not to like?"

"That the climate has always changed. It has never been static. In the past it has seen extremes hotter and colder than what we experience today. So change is normal."

"I would say that the polar ice has disappeared in the past. Certainly there seems to be evidence of past climate situations where we may have had virtually no or none during the summertime. In the immediate future, however, I don't think we are going to see that. In fact, we're going through a rebound right now."

"Name calling and labeling does nothing but lower your own level of discourse, when you have no other facts to present, which is why alarmists often resort to name calling and labeling."

"Climate Change Reconsidered, the 2009 report of the Nongovernmental International Panel on Climate Change (NIPCC), is the report on global warming the United Nations' climate panel should have written – but didn't."

"This goes back to the reason why alarmists abandoned the "global warming" term in favor of climate change. They can play this bait and switch, showing changes in climate (which always exist) and then blaming them on CO2. But there is no mechanism ever proposed by anyone where CO2 can change the climate directly without going through the intermediate step of warming. If climate is changing but we are not seeing warming, then the change can't be due to CO2."

"I would say this boils down to a war between the haves and the have-nots. The haves are the people that are getting all the funding. They're getting millions and millions of dollars of funding. The skeptics, we get scraps, we do things on our own. I funded most of the project on my own. And so who should you trust? People that are being paid for an opinion, paid for an output, versus someone who is not being paid for an output, and I think that's the question."

"The warming propaganda machine has lost its momentum and is desperate to get it back. They want to silence Lord Monckton and remove him from the field. To that end they'll say anything. ... Yet when granted a fair forum for debate, it is Monckton who triumphs."

"Global warming had become essentially a business in its own right. There are NGOs, there are organizations, there are whole divisions of universities that have set up to study this, this factor, and so there's lots of money involved and then so I think that there's a tendency to want to keep that going and not really look at what might be different."

""Global warming" suggests a steady linear increase in temperature, but since that isn't happening, proponents have shifted to the more universal term "climate change," which can be liberally applied to just about anything observable in the atmosphere."

"Watts has his critics who take issue with his stance on global warming. He acknowledges a warming trend, but believes humans have only had a slight impact. He points to the sun and the tremendous amount of energy it kicks out as having a far greater role in Earth's heating and cooling."

"While many believe humans are leading contributors to global warming, Watts has theorized the sun may play a bigger role. He said the data deserves a second look, especially because of the large amount of money involved."

"A careful, honest man of science, all [Anthony] Watts would say for sure was that his findings and all the strange cold-weather events of this winter prove only one thing so far -- that "Mother Nature is still in control of things, not us.""

"The indefatigable Anthony Watts, having noticed that the raw data for many individual stations in the GISS dataset had been "processed" so as to turn a century of actual cooling into a century of spurious warming, wondered whether the "processed" data itself had been altered over time with the aim of producing an ever-higher apparent (but bogus) rate of "global warming" over the 20th century. He found that this was indeed the case."

"I was frustrated waiting tables when I knew I could make video... I didn't have any professional experience or a portfolio of work, so I decided to make stuff on my own for free."

"My friends liked it. My family liked it. I thought, 'If they all like it why can't everyone like it?' I knew I could get an audience."

"There are two things in life that keep me motivated, a cup of coffee and a second cup of coffee."

"Okay, so tiny…Build's… Waaait a second…"

"What the 'ell just happened?!"

"I. Want. The. Hat!"

"Engaging Dance Mode!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is TotalBiscuit. I'm here to ask and answer one simple question: W-T-F is Day One: Garry's Incident?" [Beat] "Garry with two R's, so you know he's serious."

"You hear them? Everyone instantly died. And I have no idea why."

"Behold: my amazing fighting technique, passed down from generation to generation in the illustrious Garry line. Anyway, as I was saying…"

"Oh look, everybody instantly died again! What the hell was that? What killed me?"

"What?! Where the hell did that come from?!" … "Behold! The worst textured panther in the history of video games!"

"What the hell killed me?! I had half health! Why did I just immediately die?! I don't understand what's happening!"

"Maybe it has quick save?" [Silence.] "…No. Of—Of course, that would be asking too much."

"You better save regularly if you intend to play this, 'cause you will just…die. From anything! At random! With no prior warning!"

"I'm pretty sure that macaw is also…up to no good…"

"Can I… WHAT?! Whaaaaat?! I hit him five times—three times in the back and he doesn't even know that I'm here!" [laughs] "Why is this game?! I'm not even gonna ask what is this game!"

"What?! Now he realizes?! Oh—screw everything about this! I'm sorry; I can't take another minute of this dreadful thing!"

"[groan] "I—It is—What is it with this year and awful video games?! We've had Ride to Hell: Retribution, and we've had this, and I don't know which is worse.""

"Behold! The Floating Aborigine Tribesman thingy! And his—"

"This is a full release…! This is a full release! It is not Early Access! This is not a beta, guys! Seriously, I am not lying to you! And this is after about three patches! This game is a f**king disaster!"

"It is a wasted concept [by] a studio that evidently does not have the talent necessary to create something of this complexity, and my god did they screw it up! This is this year's Revelations 2012! And more to the point—it's even got a Revelations 2012 armgun! It's—[beat]—god…! It is…just…horrendously bad!"

"This monkey is running backwards and forwards! This tribesman right here—" [starts swinging his machete in an attempt to get the tribesman's attention] "Hi."

"Let me guess: if I stand up, he's gonna see me immediately?" [stands up; tribesman attacks him] "Of course."

"So, if all you do with WTF Is…? is to figure out whether or not a game is worth buying, you can just stop watching right now. It isn't. You should avoid it like the plague, because it is absolutely terrible. If you're curious as to why, however…" [chuckles] "Oh, I will show you."

"[demonstrating the pickpocket mechanic] "I kid you not. That's actually Garry's Incident level of terrible.""

"[watching a character's ridiculous idle animation] "Who—? Nobody—Nobody does that!""

"Are you ready for the jumpscare? …No, you're not."

"I now present to you the fairest maiden—what the hell is wrong with your face?"

"Oh, fair maiden… If only I could fix the voids that exist in your fair…visage… Ugh!" [laughs incredulously] "That's one hell of a makeup accident."

"Oh no—I can clip through the rock, too. You are f**king kidding me."

"I think we may have found 2014's Garry's Incident. Ho-lee sh*t."

"'What do you think you're doing?! Helps to have a map!' Also, 'Can you find the missing parts of my face?'"

"Don't even tell me about the map. Don't even. Where's the keyhole?"

"They didn't render a keyhole! …F**k!"

"You were transparent a minute ago!"

"We will not join enemy server." [catches himself] "'Enemy server', what? Let's try that again—empty server. I do want enemies."

"So. What's missing? Well, there's no crosshairs."

"…Why am I even whispering? It's not like they're actually gonna hear me."

"…So really, it's just y—" [enemy player kills him] "—oh, dammit!—you, your gun, and your friends."

"Oh, goddamn! What the hell?!" [opens fire, then laughs] "Suppressing fire!"

"[to a teammate, who just shot at him] "I[t]—Don't shoot me!" [chuckles] "What's wrong with you?""

"[about Phil Fish leaving the game industry] "My first reaction, when thinking about covering this, was just to finish by saying, 'NNNope!' and go straight onto the next segment.""

"So to break down what they're saying there, they claim that they have run out of time and money."

"…Yeah, and that was just the damn start of it, because Ubisoft simply cannot shut UP!"

"The last part of that statement is the only thing that's true."

"Ubisoft, I just want to like your games. Why won't you let me!"

"WHAT?! YOU FFFFFFFfffffff…" [Silence.] "…I just lost. I just lost…!"

"Yes! It is—n-no! Nooo! NOOOOO! Why would you have that happen?! That was a win! Ahhhhhhhh!"

"It's an Avenge?! Ahhhh! Oh, no! …I was bamboozled!"

"…I am a stupid, stupid man. I am a very, very dumb person. I…" [laughs in self-deprication] "He has an Auchenai Soulpriest! Why would you do that?! What is wrong with you?!"

"Should've played the bloody Sky Golem. And now he's got my other one. Give it BACK!"

"So far, the game has done a really good job of not throwing a lot of jumpscares at me, and that worries me even more. [goes to open door] If you blow your load too quickly with jumpscares—" [TB opens door. Cue jumpscare.] "AHHHHH! Jesus Christ. F**k! I hate you so much right now! God-dammit! Anyway!"

"Critique exists to protect consumers from unscrupulous companies, and is a necessary part of our society. Wild Games Studio disagrees."

"'We protected our copyright because TotalBiscuit has no right to make advertising revenues with our license.' Stephane Woods is lying, and here's why."

"Stephane replied within 24 hours and gave us a review code. These are the facts. It's unthinkable that Stephane could possibly believe that we had no intention of monetizing the content."

"I think you can see this is not an innocent developer being attacked and abused by some YouTuber out to profiteer from their hard work. This is a developer who has repeatedly acted in an underhanded way, and continues to do so to this very day. A developer that not only cannot take criticism, but actively goes out to censor it with the sole purpose of selling as many copies of their wretched disaster of a game as possible."

"Critique makes this industry better. But it's under attack. YouTube's policies allow for flagrant abuse of the copyright system to censor review and critique, and it has to stop."

"We as consumers have the ability to stop this bullshit for good. And we're the only ones who can do that. Publishers aren't gonna do it. Devs aren't gonna do it. It's up to you: will you be part of that solution? Will you help fix this? Or will you continue to be part of the problem? I guess that's up to you."

"I'd love to show you Wormnet, but I'm not gonna risk it, because Wormnet shows your IP address!"

"That shows an obscene! lack of foresight!"

"If I haven't made my point clear, let me just spell it out: don't. This is absolutely awful."

"Biologist here!"

"Howdy! That's a great question, actually. The reason we fart is due to needing to periodically release gases that build up during digestion. During the digestion process of the foods you eat, naturally occurring beneficial bacteria in your body metabolize (i.e. convert the food in your body to useable energy) and produce waste as a result, some of which is the gas that makes up farts. This is typically where the methane (CH4) in farts comes from, the rest of the fart volume being from air swallowed during the course of the day. For animals like spiders and insects, there are similar processes! Some animals like termites, for example, better match us as they, too, have methane-producing bacteria in their guts which helps them break down wood! For other animals, other digestive processes make waste products and sometimes gas, so yes, spiders (and insects) do fart, in a sense! Since their exoskeletons are generally rigid, though, they may not produce the sound we associate with farting, thus, you might say that most spider and insect farts are "silent but deadly"!"

"Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?"

"One the main things you want to make sure is that you have a very misleading title, no matter what your video is about. Whether it's animal cruelty, a vlog, something that pertains to cheese. Just make sure that in the title you have something about big boobs, blondes, dancing, slutty girls, or something pertaining to a vaginal nature."

"I'm like a black guy, I also like chicken, playing basketball, banging white chicks, and collecting welfare."

"I was a loser for 17 years before I finally left my moms house because she was an alcoholic that liked to fight with my abusive step dad a bit too much, I lost my first “real” job at a movie theater for letting my boss perform the oral on me, I spent most of my college years drinking bacardi 151, doing whip-its, and being way too concerned that my girlfriend was cheating on me; spoiler alert, she was and when I broke up with her she fucked her boss at Sonics 24 hours later which really sucked because I loved their onion rings for lunch, so then I jumped into a life of bootlegging DVDs on Ebay..."

"My parents were divorced and my mom had massive anger problems. She always knew I loved my dad more and it infuriated her. One time in particular I got "caught" talking to my dad on the phone even though my mom had banned me from speaking with him. She was furious. She whipped off her belt and just went to town. Legs, arm, neck, and back (Much like Judge Adams). Its one of the reasons I find it hard to love her. But the one silver lining that I take away from it is I will never beat my child. I will never be any of the terrible things my mom was. I've never shared that before."

"Your question is misleading. The title of the video is "R.I.P Sean Kingston & other things the internet got wrong". RIP Sean Kingston was a twitter trending topic and I was talking about how the internet got it wrong and then talked about his crash where he was injured but had not been killed."

"When you cut out a man's tongue, you make his words matter that much more."

"IF YOU AREN'T UPFRONT ABOUT YOUR SPONSORSHIPS, YOU ARE LYING TO YOUR AUDIENCE AND YOU'RE BEING A DIRTY SHADY CUNT."

"I have a philosophy, you do the best you can, and the things you can’t do anything about, don’t give any thought to them. … I feel I have to make a contribution. When I was doing surgery, I made it by operating. Now I try to make it by speaking about preventive medicine."

"I make videos."

"Maybe you wanna quit when things fail but you can't just fail when things quit."

"OOOH!! 18!... 18!... 18, n***a!!"

"It's because, apparently, Neo-Nazi groups have been referencing me, have been praising me, for making these kinds of jokes and I was unaware of this, so I made a statement, as soon as I found out about this, saying, 'I do not support these hateful groups in any way,' but that's never going to be the title. That doesn't fit their personal agenda. That's not the story they want. This is not an article. This was a personal attack against me, It is so clear."

"Again, it's fine to not agree with someone's sense of humour, but calling me a fascist, how is that helping anyone?"

"I want to give the... [laughs] the warmest thanks, to everybody who supported me. It's been incredible. [gives two thumbs up] Thank you everybody in the YouTube community. Hey it means a lot, thank you, thank you. [Sarcastically] Now, the most appropriate way to end this, I think, is the tenth thing, the tenth secret Nazi thing that went right past Wall Street Journal. I can't believe they didn't notice it. [kisses fist] Our secret Nazi salute, the bro-fist. [sends fist towards the camera]"

"What a f****** n****r, jeez, oh my god, what the fuck?, what a f****** a**hole... sorry, but what the f***?"

"Hello, I wanted to make a statement on what I said in my previous livestream. You probably won't believe me when I say this, but whenever I go online and I hear other players use the same kind of language that I did, I always find it extremely immature and stupid, and I hate how I now personally fed into that part of gaming as well. It was something that I said in the heat of the moment. I said the worst word I could possibly think of, and it just sort of slipped out, and I'm not going to make any excuses to why it did, because there are no excuses for it."

"I'm disappointed in myself because it seems like I've learned nothing from all these past controversies, and it's not that I think I can say or do whatever I want and get away with it; that's not it at all! I'm just an idiot, but that doesn't make what I said, or how I said it, okay. It was not okay. I'm really sorry if I offended, hurt, or disappointed anyone with all of this."

"Being in the position I am, I should know better. I know I can't keep messing up like this, and I owe it to my audience and to myself to do better than this, because I know I'm better than this. I really want to improve myself and better myself, not just for me, but for anyone that looks up to me or anyone that's influenced by me, and that's how I want to move forward away from this. That's all I had to say. Thank you for watching. Bye."

"If John Lennon's so smart then why is he dead?"

"MEME REVIEW"

"Stop atack, eh, atack... atackonizing me!"

"But when you gotta flex, you gotta keep flexing. You know what I'm saying? Please feel free to quote me on that at any given point."

"Once your fans start noticing that your channel isn't doing as well as it used to be, they are quick to point out why: It is you. "It is not because I got tired of your content - it is because of you - you've changed man!""

"Okay, Grandpa. I don't care about your Vietnam stories! Have you ever tried going into Molten Core with only four healers?"

"Together, us gamers are strong. For too long we have been oppressed by all these groups; everyone is against us, but we are the toughest, most hard-working, most vigilant, most powerful group on the Internet! If we all together will rise up, we can defeat anything! We can take over the world! We can create the gaming utopia that we all wanted to live in! Cars are not cars - they are carmers; houses are not houses - they are gaming studios; roads are not roads - they are Candy Crush displays. Imagine it, just think of how good things would really be! Think about how bad we are now because we haven't risen up yet! The more we wait, the harder it will get, but now it is time for gamers to rise together!"

"Just like Twitter said themselves, unless Alex preaches ideas that goes against Twitter's community guidelines or rules, then he shouldn't be banned from Twitter. I found it almost dumbfounding how people will disagree with this statement."

"I've seen the argument saying, 'Well, these are private companies, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and whatever. They have the right to ban whoever they want. They can set their own rules. They should just make up rules to get rid of Alex Jones.' It seems pretty fair, right? Their playground, their rules. I also, kind of disagree. I think that social media has grown so big that it's become an extension of your voice, that if you are not on social media, and you are taken off of social media in a way that isn't really specified why, then it can be seen as a way of censorship."

"Negligib... neglibij... Negligibible"

"What!? You've never played TUBER SIMULATOR ?!!?! You know it's fun, right? Now I'm not supposed to give my opinion, but give it a try , and THEN you can tell me if it's good or not. Not convinced yet? Okay, I'll cut you a deal. The game is available for FREE, and that's a GREAT price!"

"Why do my YouTube videos get millions of views even though it’s just some ranty Northerner sat in front of a world map behind a webcam? It’s because people are desperately searching for an alternative. They instinctively know the BBC is bullshitting them. They know that every single story they report is beholden to maintaining the leftist consensus. I mean look at the utter ludicrousness of the “child” migrants who arrived in Croydon. Anyone with functioning brain cells could see these men were not children. Some of them were in their late 30s. The BBC insults our intelligence on a daily basis and only the incredibly naive can’t see that at this point. The BBC still absurdly insists it is impartial when it clearly isn’t, whereas I am honest, up front and open about my bias. People can see an authenticity in me that the likes of the BBC can never provide."

"Brexit was a chilling example of how truly intolerant and despicable the left in this country are. I know people whose own parents almost disowned them because they voted leave. I have probably received in the region of 300 death threats – mainly from Muslims who want to prove Islam is a “religion of peace” by killing me, as well as Black Lives Matter supporters. I now really enjoy the death threats because I post them all on social media and they allow me to illustrate how we are stupidly shaping society to cater for the most aggressive, hateful, bigots imaginable. The left denounces people like me as bigots for standing up for true liberal principles which made Western civilisation great in the first place."

"I have my disagreements with the alt-right, but let’s get a win for the right in America before hashing it all out. The current attitude on the right is to fight with your own side rather than to give leftists hell. Under that model of politics, men are losing due process rights, the suicide of whites is at a record high, and there are several Islamic terrorist attacks on American soil. Until the right wins for once, I have no interest in arguing with the alt-right or disavowing anyone. Once the right has some actual power, then it will be time to have an ideological civil war. Until then, nah."

"When I said Trump, then given a 1% change of winning the GOP primary, would win the entire election, people called me crazy. Even friends told me to keep my opinions to myself, as clearly I wasn’t smart enough to talk policy. Today those friends are quiet when they need to issue apologies."

"Comfort zones, after all, are the enemy of growth."

"Unhappiness is simply when the picture in your head doesn’t match the picture in front of you."

"This comments might be strong, but it's how I genuinely feel. I don't care that you are christian. I don't care what the Bible says. Like, I feel like it's a clown show, like sitting here, trying to decifer what your little mythical book has to say about these very real political issues, right? I don't care if you are christian. In fact, I will fight for you to have your religious liberty and practice your christianity. I believe in that. I don't believe in christianity, which means that you do not get to dictate the way I live my life based on your religion. I don't care what the Bible says. You have every right in the world, all those women who identify with your religion have every right in the world to not get an abortion, to not take birth control, but they do not have the right to dictate my life and what I decide to do with my body. I don't care about your goddamn religion! I am so tired of having nonstop conversations about what the Bible says. You live your life in the way that you intepret the Bible. Again, I don't care. You don't get to take the Bible and tell me: "Well, the Bible says this, in this chapter, in this verse". I don't care. I don't care, I don't believe in it, and I have the right, based on our Constitution, to not believe in it. (5 November 2018)"

"Co-workers looking at the leaked nudes from the hacking scandal while I judge them."

"San Francisco is terrifying. And it’s hilarious to me because the business community there wants to put lipstick on a pig. They want to put out this $4 million ad campaign pretending as though everything in San Francisco is all hunky-dory. It’s not hunky-dory. San Francisco is a nightmare."

"But you know what else is ineffective? Using taxpayer’s money, funneling it to non-profits so they can literally buy crack pipes and hand them out at Skid-Row… So, anyone on the left who wants to come at me and pretend like this is just a right-wing scare-mongering talking point, you’re full of crap."

"We spent $13 billion in Los Angeles alone last year to combat homelessness. You want to know where that money went? That money went to these trash non-profits who have a bunch of executives making half a million dollars a year. You are running a non-profit dealing with homelessness. That’s my money. That’s my parents’ money. Okay. That is the hard-working people of California paying incredibly high taxes that go to what?"

"So, yeah, I am sick of it. I am sick of it. And honestly, just experiencing what I have seen on the ground in California has made me question a lot about left-wing ideology."

"After Black Lives Matter received a $100 million from liberal billionaire George Soros and other liberal organizations, they've become nothing more than a weaponized race-baiting machine, pushing the extreme liberal Democratic agenda, calling any and everything that doesn't fit that agenda 'white supremacy.'"

"In recognition of the nation’s changing demographics, the NRA is making a major push to diversify: Its new spokesman, Colion Noir, is an engaging African American millennial. Yet the NRA’s annual convention remains largely a sea of white folks. And as the NRA’s reluctance to make a statement in support of Philando Castile suggests — many believe the group would have immediately backed a white concealed-carrier in such circumstances — there is still a long way to go."

"I feel like if there is any ribbing or maybe roasting of the church or Christian culture, I like to say it's not me pointing at you guys, it's me shining a mirror at us. I'm in the front of it, look at us. A lot of times it comes off as, if someone is making a joke about Christianity in the public forum, whether it be on social media, we are very defensive of it, because ... you're an outsider, you're against us. And I'm kind of like, 'hey, I'm with you. I grew up here, I love Jesus, I think the local church is our only hope. That being said, we do some weird stuff'."

"I think Christian comedy has gotten a bad rap in the past because it's very passive, and it's not honest. It's like knock-knock jokes type humor. What we're bringing to the table is another level of honesty, and maybe transparency that I think does make some people uncomfortable."

"Over the past number of years, various women have accused me of behavior that has been hurtful to them. While I am not guilty of everything I've been accused of, I confess to being guilty of this—I have treated relationships with women far too casually, in some cases even recklessly. My behavior has been destructive and sinful. I've sinned against God, against women and the people who I love the most. I have violated my own Christian beliefs, convictions and values, and have hurt many people in the process. I am sorry for the hurt and pain I have caused these women and will continue to seek their forgiveness. I have also hurt the name of Jesus and have sought His forgiveness."

"According to multiple sources, Crist has exploited his Christian reputation and platform to harass, manipulate and exploit young women over the last seven years. The allegations include, but are not limited to, individually sexting multiple women during the same time period, initiating sexual relationships with married women and women in committed relationships, offering show tickets in exchange for sexual favors and repeatedly calling these women late at night while drunk."

"John Crist is a man claiming to follow Jesus but living in a world of blurred lines. His intake of sexual toxicity is indicative of what is happening to millions of men in the atmosphere of our culture today. I pray he will recover."

"Is she a presidential candidate or is she trying to star in the Scream reboot? ... What needs to be born in mind, is something can be historically true, a form of discrimination or stereotyping like women are shrill and they're nags and men have said that historically way too much ... but that doesn't mean it's impossible for a woman to speak too loud when she doesn't need to.""

"I have such a vivid memory of listening to this song ("Brooklyn Baby" by Lana Del Rey) with the top down of my dads 1960s car and just feeling like I was in a music video or something. My hair was blowing in the wind and all I could see was the palm trees above me. I seriously had never felt cooler in my life."

"Kids listen to kids. If you have a platform, why not use it to speak about things that can help other people?"

"If I want to be out there in front of the cameras, I will be; if I don’t, I’ll stay inside."

"You have to put out the image you want people to have of you, I keep my opinions to myself. I’m neutral—like Switzerland."

"The most important thing to worry about, in terms of myself, is making sure that I’m mentally and emotionally in the right state of mind, because it’s one thing to look good and feel good, but I think mental illness is something that we don’t discuss enough, and it’s something that everyone deals with to a certain degree."

"I still think acting is something that you’re born with and I think the greatest actors today, they don’t need training, it comes naturally to them. It’s like being a naturally good singer….I don’t think that’s me at all."

"The three most important things are: Consistency, quantity and quality. Those three things combine together to make you a really successful YouTube channel."

"I’m just trying to go out there every single day and do my best to bring people animals and adventure. Whenever we can promote conservation and educate people about something that they didn’t know much about before, it means we’re doing our job the right way. And I’m just trying to mold my life moving forward to be as much of a microphone for the voice of animals as I possibly can be."

"I just think it’s funny that a couple of logical tweets have made me a “conservative,” such a strong label. I don’t even know what it means to be conservative, or what a conservative is anymore. I feel like the meanings of these labels are changing. I certainly would never have called myself a conservative."

"For the system to actually disregard such things means that your actions no longer matter - they decide what your context and intent is. For any comedians making jokes in Britain, I'd be very, very worried about your future because - the context and intent - apparently they don't matter anymore"

"A man has been convicted in a UK court of making a joke that was deemed "grossly offensive". If you don't believe in a person's right to say things that you might find "grossly offensive", then you don't believe in Freedom of Speech."

"I think I’ve kind of carved out a sweet spot for myself by combining science and comedy. To me, it’s like putting syrup in your medicine. Everything just goes down easier if you add humor to it, and you can reach a lot more people if you manage to do it in an entertaining way."

"I’ve shied away from the ‘women in tech’ question because it’s always what people ask about. I think as soon as you’re a woman, or any minority doing something, you automatically become a representative for it, and I think a lot of brilliant women’s interviews are being wasted on talking about what it’s like being a woman."

"As human beings we are naturally playful creatures. I think we are tickled when we see a playful machine, as it is somehow more human."

"I started to feel an obligation to people who had become loyal to our channel. Those viewers were loyal to me and I am in turn loyal to them. I am an activist for transparency. I am a huge fan of the ideals behind WikiLeaks. I think information wants to be free, it deserves to be free, and the only way we are going to have a functioning government for the people is if people can see and understand why decisions are made. I hope I am contributing to that."

"Speech is politics. Politics is speech. When the left shuts down our speech, they are precluding us from politics. When the left equates speech with violence, they are ending our experiment in self-government and they’re replacing the persuasion of our fellow citizens with mere brute force, insisting that we can force our will onto others without even making a reasonable argument for that."

"for the good society and especially for the good of the poor people who have fallen pray to this confusion. Transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entirely, the whole preposterous ideology at every level."

"I think what TikTok has done with Gen Z and teaching people how to cook is just make it more relatable."

"For many kids, politics feel very distant. This might be the first time it hits home for a lot of kids."

"It’s really less about the followers and really more about entertaining. If you’re entertaining, it will find the people that you can entertain."

"Negativity is a trait, not someone’s identity. A person’s true nature can be obscured by clouds, but, like the sun, it is always there. And clouds can overcome any of us. We have to understand this when we deal with people who exude negative energy. Just like we wouldn’t want someone to judge us by our worst moments, we must be careful not to do that to others. When someone hurts you, it’s because they’re hurt. Their hurt is simply spilling over. They need help. And as the Dalai Lama says, “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them."

"Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things."

"When we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives, we can feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time."

"When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be put in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on."

"It feels good to be around people who are good for us; it doesn't feel good to be around people who don't support us or bring out our bad habits."

"When we criticize others, we can't help but notice the bad in ourselves. But when we look for the good in others, we start to see the best in ourselves too."

"Negativity is a trait, not someone's identity. A person's true nature can be obscured by clouds, but, like the sun, it is always there. And clouds can overcome any of us. We have to understand this when we deal with people who exude negative energy. Just like we wouldn't want someone to judge us by our worst moments, we must be careful not to do that to others. When someone hurts you, it's because they're hurt. Their hurt is simply spilling over. They need help."

"The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are."

"We think freedom means that we can pursue all our desires. Real freedom is letting go of things not wanted, the unchecked desires that leas us to unwanted ends."

"Transformational forgiveness is linked to a slew of health improvements including: fewer medications taken, better sleep quality, and reduced somatic symptoms including back pain, headache, nausea, and fatigue. Forgiveness eases stress, because we no longer recycle the angry thoughts, both conscious and subconscious, that stressed us out in the first place."

"The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself."

"Fear motivates us. Sometimes it motivates us toward what we want, but sometimes, if we aren't careful, it limits us with what we think will keep us safe."

"Instead of forever climbing the mountain of success, we need to descend into the valley of our true selves to weed out false beliefs."

"If you want to know what makes a great comic work, don't just look at the basic plot, the important monologues, the "writing", as it were. Look at the desks and bookcases and bedside tables of Moore's world. That's the real writing. And then flip through a copy of, say, "Youngblood" and look at how barren everything is. These comics are supposedly set in a grimdark world where heroes are anti-heroes, but quite often, they simply just tell you that and then show you shots of characters monologuing about how complex they are in empty, character-less rooms or just straight up blank voids. [...] These kinds of creators read Watchmen, read The Dark Knight Returns, read The Killing Joke -- works that presented characters as flawed but real and used even desks as characterization and worldbuilding. Works that had, to put it in one word: ideas. But these creators didn't see that stuff when they read those comics. They saw the darkness, the edginess, the grittiness on the surface and tried desperately to recreate that. The appearance of depth mattered more than the real stuff."

"[In] Carl of Sad's defense, he only [sends interracial gay porn] to Nazis and members of the alt-Right in an attempt to get them to stop following him, which is probably an effective short-term solution. The long-term one, of course, would be to re-evaluate why his claims keep attracting the agreement of Neo-Nazis."

"Harry: [imitating Jon Jafari] "You know, Ken, I was thinking about, you know, maybe taking a year off, going back to college, starting my career?" "Nonsense, Barbie! You're staying here and having my kids!" Skeleton: Jon, what are you playing? Harry: Nothing! This doesn't happen! Systemic problems aren't real! If you can purchase a Big Mac, you're not oppressed!"

"One of my favorite paintings is "The Lacemaker." Johannes Vermeer painted a loving, accurate, and detailed rendition of a girl making lace. Vermeer celebrated real people doing ordinary things; he offered the radical idea that you didn't have to be special or important or magical or legendary to worth being painted or thought about or remembered. So it turns out there are two ways of explaining history. We can be like Geoffrey of Monmouth or the early Romans and invent these magical, wondrous, brilliant people who gave everything to us: a wizard made Stonehenge all by himself, a man called Romulus invented Rome out of whole cloth and took part in every major historical event required to fulfill his amazing design, Don Bluth made "Dragon's Lair." Or we could be like Vermeer: a bunch of ordinary everyday people built Stonehenge just by working together and putting time and effort into it, a bunch of ordinary people make video games by working together very hard for hours and hours and hours and days and years to make it, a bunch of regular, ordinary people built Rome over the span of a very long time, contributing to what would later be remembered as the exploits of one man. This way is nowhere near as magical as the one we like to imagine put our world together. The truth is often very mundane. But maybe that's okay."

"Imagine sitting in front of your computer with the script for your final Doctor Who episode and looking at a screen where you have physically typed the words, "Oh. It's not an evil plan. This was all pointless." Well, that's the place where I would do a rewrite or hope that, like, someone would stop me! WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY STOP HIM?!"

"I just sort of realized one day that I was capable of being romantically attracted to men as well as women. I realized I was different from how I'd even thought of myself. I'd just sort of naturally seen myself as straight, and even if I didn't think I thought of it this way, on some primal level, I'd thought of being straight as being "normal." I didn't know why I thought like that. It's probably a mix of not really thinking too hard about these things at the time, combined with the vague notions and expectations our society tends to have towards people's sexuality. But one day I looked in the mirror, and saw myself as not who I thought I was. I saw myself as an outsider from me, from the identity I'd assumed for myself, and then I had a few difficult conversations with troublesome people about those feelings. I'd always experienced homophobia. I was an effeminate boy growing up, but I hadn't really cared, because at the time I'd not really accepted it as an insult, or seen anything wrong with being called gay by losers in high school who had just as much growing up to do as I did. But, when I actually was one of those people and knew it, all of a sudden, it was a real judgment of who I actually was. To them, I'd actually become lesser. Being told I was going to die of AIDS, and that my feelings were unnatural, and so on, and having to deal with being actually expected to try to convince people that I wasn't inferior to them, suddenly made me think about that Cthulhu film I'd seen a few years before. It was like it knew what I was going through. It knew how it felt to sit in a room you just can't leave, and have a piece of your personhood interrogated. It knew how it felt to be seen as an outsider, and it knew how it felt to connect with someone who understands and accepts you. Somehow, it knew me and how I'd felt, before I'd ever had a chance to. Some of the scenes from this film just kept coming back up in my mind. It hadn't been what I'd thought I'd wanted, but what it was struck a chord with me anyway, on a level I didn't know was there. It just took a while for me to hear the chiming. It turns out that some of the greatest horrors, biggest sources of sadness in our lives, don't come from scope or big questions, but from the tiniest things. If you've ever lost a loved one and had to be involved with the arrangements of their funeral, or if you've ever had to be around someone you've made an effort to cut out of your life because of something abusive they'd done to you, or even something as simple as being reminded, gently, that you're in a place where everyone regards you with suspicion, that you're an outsider to them-- You'll already know that the idea of a powerful cosmic monster out there somewhere beneath the sea can actually be the least of a person's problems."

"People seek these solutions because they perceive on some level a problem, and they’re right. Something is wrong with the world right now. The world is figuratively on fire, world leaders are asleep at the wheel, there’s nothing in place to prevent another massive financial crash which will destroy thousands if not millions of livelihoods, and ecologically speaking, instead of being, you know, figuratively on fire, the earth is literally on fire, wildfires are getting worse, temperatures are shifting all over the place, ice is melting at an astounding rate... even on a globe Earth, the edge is coming fast. So I can’t blame anyone for feeling alienated and lonely about living in late capitalist society. You know, at least under feudalism we had job security. So of course people are gonna try and find something that helps them cope, or seems like a solution. I mean, that’s why you get cults, that’s why you get Scientology, that’s why you get Jordan Peterson supporters. You know, something is wrong, and we can all tell, and some people have arrived at a solution that doesn’t really work."

"Just one small problem; sell their houses to who, Ben? Fucking Aquaman?!"

"The depressing thing about charity is that no charity should exist, the things charity advocates for should just be built into the system."

""Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it." That's a quote commonly attributed to Winston Churchill, but he was actually probably paraphrasing George Santayana. [...] But here's a corollary I came up with all by myself: "Those who let hucksters write the history they're trying to learn from are doomed in some other horrible way"."

"This is a massive problem with media platforms right now. YouTubers who know nothing about anything can misunderstand a bunch of articles and spread lies to millions of people. And then they get to vote how you live your life! I wonder why everything’s getting worse all the time!"

"I think people tend to fool themselves. People think they’re good at what they do, and they don’t question their practices. Because James [Somerton] and [co-writer] Nick both thought they were experts on the topics they talked about, they bumbled into so many blind alleys. I mentioned making this video to my friend Todd and he independently started watching James, and fell down all these rabbit holes, and made a video about him as well. It’s the Dunning-Kruger effect, when you’ve managed to stay at the top of the curve so you think, "I must be an expert", and you never do any work that can disconfirm your hypothesis. It’s scary how easy it is to do that."

"We're born dying but we're compelled to fancy our chances."

"My troops speak, thank God. I'm traveling to Europe, painho and mainha here, like that, thank God, Father. To Europe, this time painho and mainha 'go'. Invitation from LaLiga, LaLiga, right, magnificent, sensational, thank God. It's the troop, departed Europe heavy. Thanks, Laliga."

"Best thing about my work is my ideas can be my reality no matter how weird it is. I'll always be grateful to you guys for this I don't care how weird the idea is, I just want to have fun."

"The more insecure you are the more you want to make people laugh."

"My alter ego was a major confidence booster in my life and helped shape my digital career in ways more than one. "It felt amazing to be recognised due to the fan appreciation, something like what we see in the superhero films."

"Money is a separate part it is essential part it is important for sure when i first started earning from YouTube for me it was like ok i will not pay any attention to this because I'll get spoiled i will corrupt my mind I'll buy things that i shouldn't i would never focus on money i would just keep on creating, like i don't want to stop that was my mindset."

"I would like to consider myself an artist and I have always courted the idea of being abstract and misinterpreted. Anything that can evoke a sense of emotion and passion is art for me."

"No matter how much I try, I’m still unpredictable even for myself. You can even say that I may be slightly impulsive."

"My expectations were nothing. I only wanted 50K subscribers, a room to play my games in and make enough money to be able to buy new games and create content."

"I think I'm just as confused as everyone else on how to make our lives a piece of art, but I think that part of the joy is simply trying."

"You don't have to get rid of a problem to overcome it."

"Don't let fear hold you back. Fear is just a thought, and thoughts can be controlled. Embrace the unknown, and you'll find your real potential.(https://thechiefsdigest.com/andrew-tate-quotes/)"

"[On how he would respond to a woman if she accused him of adultery.] It's bang out the machete, boom in her face and grip her by the neck. Shut up bitch."

"[On his move to Romania, avoiding rape charges being "probably 40% of the reason"] I'm not a rapist, but I like the idea of just being able to do what I want. I like being free."

"[Tate's comment from one of his videos.] I inflict, I expect, absolute loyalty from my woman [...] I ain't having my chicks talking to other dudes, liking other dudes. My chicks don't go to the club without me, they are at home."

"absolutely a misogynist (YouTube video)"

"I'm a realist and when you're a realist you're sexist. There's no way you can be rooted in reality and not be sexist. (same YouTube video)"

"playing a comedic character (statement to The Guardian)"

"Internet sensationalism has purported the idea that im [sic] anti women when nothing could be further from the truth. (statement to The Guardian)"

"Romania is a beautiful place. There's no feminists, there's no open homosexuality. [...] No homosexual agenda. No feminists. It's corrupt, which suits me because I'm fucking rich. [...] No immigrants or refugees which is great because it means no one gets stabbed."

"I love Trump, he’s the best we could ever have hoped for."

"[On a need for authority over the women he dates.] You can't be responsible for a dog if it doesn’t obey you."

"[In response to the claims of sexual assault made against Harvey Weinstein.] If you put yourself in a position to be raped, you must [bear] some responsibility. I'm not saying it's OK you got raped."

"[On his assertion women are men's property.] I'm not saying they're property [...] I am saying they are given to the man and belong to the man."

"[In a video for Hustler's University, considered a scam by the media, on how to gain further recruits via online comments.] What you ideally want is a mix of 60-70 per cent fans and 30-40 per cent haters [...] You want arguments, you want war."

"Hello @GretaThunberg I have 33 cars. My Bugatti has a w16 8.0L quad turbo. My TWO Ferrari 812 competizione have 6.5L v12s. This is just the start. Please provide your email address so I can send a complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions."

"It appears the insanity of the ruling elite is exposed worldwide now. They have one command, do not speak out, behave as sheep."

"The more you didn't like it, the more I enjoyed it. I f**king loved how much you hated it."

"This is a set-up. It is absolutely disgusting. Thirty of those girls say we have done nothing wrong. Two are the mothers of our children."

"[W]hat he is doing today online fits every international definition of radicalisation. It takes a situation where there is a power imbalance and suggests that the one with the power is actually the minority. It is how all radicalisation works. These young people have been groomed. It starts with a viral YouTube video of a takedown of a feminist argument. It starts with a picture of a woman with a black eye. It is a drip, drip, drip, which eventually leads to real-world consequences."

"Tate was a very important voice for an emasculated ... you three guys, you are all 25, you are all kind of being told you can't be blokes, you can't do laddish, fun, bloke things ... That's almost what you're being told. That masculinity is something we should look down upon, something we should frown upon. It's like the men are becoming feminine and the women are becoming masculine and it's a bit difficult to tell these days who's what."

"And Tate fed into that by saying, "Hang on, what's wrong with being a bloke? What's wrong in male culture? What's wrong in male humour?" He fed into those things. His was a campaign of raising awareness, his was a campaign of giving people perhaps a bit of confidence at school or whatever it was to speak up."

"[He] maybe took that alter-ego of masculinity too far in his relationships with women."

"Andrew Tate is probably the most famous internet celebrity in the world right now. In recent weeks he has been Googled more often than the President of America, more often than Donald Trump and more often than most major pop stars. As of this week, the #AndrewTate hashtag has over 12.7 billion views on TikTok."

"It is no secret that the internet is awash with ugly and harmful content. However, it is rare when someone like Andrew Tate rises to become one of the most famous people on social media because of their harmful content. While many are already speaking out against Tate, there is a legion of (primarily male) supporters who consume, venerate and share his dangerous content. Here in the UK, it is not an exaggeration to say that many young students returning to school at the end of the summer holidays will have seen something produced by Andrew Tate. The effect that Tate’s brand of vitriolic misogyny can have on the young male audience is deeply concerning. His content is widely celebrated by his fans for having brought back "traditional masculinity". However, we also know that misogyny can be a gateway to other extreme and discriminatory views, and there is a serious danger that some people, sucked in by his sexist content, will align with his wider far-right politics."

"And then there is Andrew Tate. How does a man like this become a "trillionaire" guru to teenage boys? You may think he is ludicrous: a globular kickboxing star and former Big Brother contestant. But his reach is staggering: over 11 billion views on TikTok. And what is he pouring into young minds? Streams of grim misogyny: tales of hitting women, choking them, smashing their faces in if they cheat, while maintaining that any cheating on his part is just "exercise". It is as if someone has taken every type of woman-hater you can think of — a footballer, an incel, an Arab sheikh, the Tinder Swindler — and rolled them into one menacing, manscaped action doll, given them loads of guns, money and cars and made them say worse things than Donald Trump. He is a God to many boys."

"We had a good chat, Tate and I, but the guy gives me the horrors. Not all the time, but enough of the time, I simply hate what he thinks. If I had a son, I'd hate the thought of him being exposed to it, and I’m far from wild about my daughters having to deal with teenage boys who have soaked it in. I even agonised about whether I ought to do this interview. Although if the most googled man on the planet can't be written about in a newspaper, then I’m honestly not sure what any of us are here for."

"I don't believe in low-energy HWhyte nationalism. I'm an Aryan supremacist and believe in the extermination of hundreds of millions."

"HERCULES existed"

"Can anyone explain getting up at 5 am to quaff "dunkin," work 2 part time jewbs, 4 hrs in traffic, fat wife? Why isn't ISIS better?"

"Ancient men conquered cities put them to the sword and fire, meanwhile you go to WINE BAR with "gf" and enjoy tasteful banter.. YOU ARE GAY!!"

"I need to live a certain way, I feel until I don't get penthouse floor with jacuzzi, heated saltwater pool, courtesans in silk leggings, multiple gigantic screens running news from around the world, Twatter and various forums, gym in same building, silk bathrobe, I can't flourish"

"Average Kwan girl needs for explosion 1990-2010: tren body, 13 inch dick, tats Now: 120 rpm power tool 2025: trampled by horses, donkeys"

"Some people will never forgive the Anglo for teaching their recent ancestors to use a fork and knife, not eat off the floor, use a flush toilet"

"But have you seen the movie Midnight Express...and...and how did it make you feel?"

"I am here to save you from a great ugliness."

"Life has a thing inside it that reaches beyond itself. This is intergalactic worm, I can't say here, you must wait."

"In the Bronze Age men had life and force, and I already see, far on the horizon of our world, but the glimmer is surely there—may it not be a mirage!—I see this spirit returning surely in our time. Piratical bands and brotherhoods will take to the seas, and not just to the seas. The enemies of Western man and the enemies of beauty are to learn just what was meant by a piratical race, a nest of pirates like the Chinese thought of the Dutch on first meeting them. I want to prepare you to receive this old spirit—old spirits are moving, from behind the reeds...the silhouette shimmers against a river in late summer, and I see already men who know how to honor such uncanny old friends. May they inhabit us again and give us strength to purify this world of refuse!"

"You must learn to see the secret language of nature and what it drives at: there is one path that drives for the production of a supreme specimen. It is the path that governs higher life; survival and reproduction are only side effects of this path. Life is at most basic, struggle for ownership of space."

"Only physical beauty is the foundation for a true higher culture of the mind and spirit as well. Only sun and steel will show you the path."

"There is no irony here: I don’t do irony! Learn that I don’t understand the gay idea of “irony.”"

"in the relentless concern of the aristocracy with biological quality, you see an attempt to mitigate the great evils of civilization."

"Having to be in passenger seat while moron is driving, I couldn't even stand this friend and asked him if he wouldn't mind if I jacked off while we drove between two cities. "Yeah man, sure, go ahead no big deal..." he agree, so I know there was nothing left in him."

"There was loose vampire bat in lobby that had flown in, but this normal."

"According to any rational calculation, life is not worth living, because pain far outweighs pleasure. Heavily medicated nihilists are likely to deny this—the blessed and happy know it's true...but also know that reason and rationality are false."

"Nietzsche refers to the falsification of the history of Israel that occurred at some time before Josephus—and I think he was referring to the Maccabees. There is no external record anyway of the Jews existing before the kingdom of the Maccabees—Herodotus never mentions them. [...] Augustine is almost surely a complete fiction, and there never was any such man"

"the so-called and entirely fake "Cold War," during which the United States was funding and arming the Soviet Union the whole time"

"I ask you to see what happened to Margaret Mead, and how the Polynesians punked her—most of the things she wrote about their views on life, about their sexual freedom, was nonsense they made up to make her look foolish."

"In fact everything that you hate about modern life and that makes it into an Iron Prison—and I agree it is a prison—represents a return of the endless sallow night of matriarchy. It is a return in every way, you must understand this literally! Nietzsche says that in the modern Europe you see the reassertion of pre-Aryan modes of life, the return of socialism, of the longhouse, of feminism, and that this is happening also to us internally, where the higher instincts of the spirit are being overtaken physiologically by the retrograde and prehistoric. The life of the village and of the primitive is one of utter subjection, total domestication and total brokenness. The "matriarchy" that does exist, and that exerts enormous influence and power in the social and moral realm, is only the manifestation of this brokenness of the males."

"Life appears at its peak not in the grass hut village ruled by nutso mammies, but in the military state. In Archaic Greece, in Renaissance Italy and in the vast expanse of the heroic Old Stone Age, at the middle of the Bronze Age of high chariotry, lived men of power and magnificence in great numbers. We are in every way their inferiors. Physically, spiritually and in intellect they exceed us in every way."

"these were men of conquest, exploration and adventure first. Aeschylus had on his tombstone engraved that he fought at Marathon, not that he wrote his plays. The free man is a warrior, and only a man of war is a real man."

"try to live the same in some way…try to live according to a Bronze Age Mindset. You must not misunderstand this. This is not self-help book and I can't help you with how to live—no one can. I am concerned with the subjection of life and the suffocation of vitality. I hope to show you that things don't need to be this way, and that you don't need to limit yourself to small things. Above all you must reach for the great aim, physical and military independence. Only the warrior is a free man. The only right government is military government, and every other form is both hypocritical and destructive of true freedom. You must aim high! Band with your friends on the way of power and know that nothing has the right to stop you, and nothing can stop you!"

"Imagine a Mitt Romney, but different...a Romney who actually was capable of acting like he looks, and was worthy of his looks. Imagine a younger Romney who rouses the nation to a new war, against India, through power of charisma and speech alone. Then he leave on ship to head the armies conquering India. But then come rumors that Mitt ran a Black Mass Satanist dinner in New York. Also, people awaken one day and find that someone defaced the Holocaust Museum and the Lincoln Memorial... rumors spread that it is Mitt and his friends, in preparation to overthrow the government. So he is recalled from his command to stand trial. Instead of returning, Mitt runs to Russia where he becomes a major advisor to Putin. Soon though, he finally has to leave in a great hurry when it is discovered he's been banging Putin’s wife in secret. He runs to China where, again, he miraculously becomes a major political force and advisor, adopting Chinese customs and language with ease. After some time he leaves China and ends up living in Afghanistan with the tribesmen as one of them, in one of their mud fortresses, where he is finally found by American special forces and he goes out fighting, charging them repeatedly with machine gun in his glorious black-and-gold armor and Dune-like headset. Exactly such, and more, was the life of the ancient Alcibiades from Athens. How inconceivable!"

"Bill Gates, Zuckerface, and Bezos are entirely dependent men. They can't really do with their wealth what you think they can...for example, they could never just kill a man and take his wife, but even the ruler of the smallest African country has this power, this true wealth. When your happiness and wealth depends on the force of arms of another, you're not really your own man...nor can you enjoy the greatest delights in life. Clearchus and Agathocles knew this: they show you one of the ways out; they're really authentic men who went their own way! Yes you can!"

"When we see the Greek cities at their heights in the classical era for which we know this culture, ruled either by aristocracies or in some cases democracies, we see cities where such men have taken over and built a state for themselves, and for the purposes of training for battle and supremacy in battle."

"Any "racial" unity of the Greeks was therefore only the organic unity of culture or language, but never became political: such people would never tolerate losing the sovereignty in the states they and their recent ancestors had established to protect their freedom and space to move. But to draw any parallels to our time is absurd: these men would have never submitted to abstractions like "human rights," or "equality," or "the people" as some kind of amorphous entity encompassing the inhabitants of the territory or city in general. They would have rightly seen this as pure slavery, which is our condition today: no real man would ever accept the legitimacy of such an entity, which for all practical purposes means you must, for entirely imaginary reasons, defer to the opinion of slaves, aliens, fat childless women, and others who have no share in the actual physical power. How is it possible for all to have an equal share in the state and a full demand on its resources, when they in fact possess no actual physical force: and if you think this question through, you will understand also the nature of our subjection in this time. Because it is not these people who are at fault, but a hidden power that uses them as a pretext. Modern "democracy" is totalitarian and vicious, and tries to subject the best to the rule of the heaps of biological refuse and most especially to the rule of those who can stir them up. The military men who constitute its external defense and its internal police forces should in principle never accept this condition. That they do is a great question mark: how is it possible? To what end, and how did they agree to this? What's in it for them? The ancient life that I describe here, the Bronze Age mindset, is one of complete freedom and power."

"I want to give encouragement to some who are a certain way, in their blood, and to encourage them to become the purifying hand of nature."

"The cleansing barbarism that I talk about here must first sweep the world: no science is possible any longer, nor anything else, in a place where all spheres of life have been submerged into the great mother of the Yeast."

"Friendship is a social relation of a kind that is beyond all "ethics," you see, and if you ever think of it in terms of ethics you misunderstand it. It is a great pleasure between two, very different from sexual pleasure between man and woman, but of the same species, in that it is pleasant, and never feels like "ethics," which is for cows."

"I always loved the statues of the kouroi. I can safely say that upon viewing such statue by myself for three hours (someone let me in to look alone in museum), I was able to ejaculate without touching myself. But I had no dirty or untoward thoughts the entire time."

"Bob Denard shows that the spirit of Bronze Age pirate can exist also in our age. It can flower complete and unedited. You have no excuse! [...] His greatest feat was to overthrow the government of the Comoros four times. Each time France had to send special forces to the islands to dislodge him. Otherwise he would have surely become a hereditary ruler. He had many wives and won many properties by the power of his hand. At the end of his life...well...this life lasted too long. He should have died in defense of his territory, younger, and without descending into the dementia and pain that took him in old age. France repaid his service with persecution; no longer needed to fight communists in Africa, his vainglory and ferocity became a liability."

"This man [Mike Hoare] understood communism for what it was: the infestation of vermin he was tasked to exterminate, a biological event, not an ideological, political, or historical one."

"Thus everywhere we see that the very comforts and safety produced by the best men leads to the usurpation of society by those parts of the human spirit that are oriented instead toward a different kind of life, that everywhere that mode of the yeast wins out...and usually wins out very quickly."

"Of all the things that you blame for the decrepit times we live in, feminism and the "liberation" of women is both the proximate and the ultimate cause. Nothing so ridiculous as the liberation of women has ever been attempted in the history of mankind. It is an act of complete insanity, disguised as "logic," "reason," presented in the most absurd legalisms about supposed "rights." The modern socialisms, the expansion of the power of the state that squashes all initiative and all life, the hypocrisy of all political life in our time—all of this is to be attributed to the participation of women in political life."

"People who try to mislead you from such things and try to encourage you to talk in public instead about abstractions like "ethnostate," dork ideological constructs like "Eurasianism," anachronistic slogans like "blood and soil" that never had any historical attraction to Anglos and Americans...these people are spergs or very often federal informants, or manipulated by such. By all means study such things, believe in them, troll with them, let them guide your final aims; but know what is possible in the normie political sphere and don't become the clown of ZOG like Nehlen and so many others did. If they were serious people they would have never come in public and encouraged young men to go on marches where they could be identified and tracked for life. Know when the snake is defending itself—don’t be a patsy. Your models must be those that have worked: Trump, Orban, the Italian movements now ascendant, Sebastian Kurz and his party in Austria. You don’t see these people marching around in hotel bellboy's uniforms with a Sonnenrad and talking about the "Jewish Question" and this other kind of role-play. It's true that in the end, my aims here and those of someone like Orban have little or nothing in common. If they were successful, all they would be able to do is reestablish the same world of sheep that existed a hundred years ago, maybe inoculated against the latest degradations...but nothing very great. Still, I think it's better for the nations to be well-tended, happy sheep than to be reduced to teeming piles of starving rats."

""Social justice"—disgusting parasitism, dressed up in rags of words so worn-out and pee-stained even their defenders are sick of the smell [...] "Social" justice...but why only "social"...why set your sights so low…you mean just the opinions of the many? Who cares. Here is my vision of the true justice, the justice of nature: the zoos opened, predators unleashed by the dozens, hundreds...four thousand hungry wolves rampaging on streets of these hive cities, elephants and bison stampeding, the buildings smashed to pieces, the cries of the human bug shearing through the streets as the lord of beasts returns. Manhattan, Moscow, Peking reduced to ruins overgrown by vines and forest, the haunt of the lynx and coyote again. The great cesspool slums, Calcutta, Nairobi, all the fetid latrines of the world covered over by mudslides, overgrown with thick jungle, this is justice. Lisbon to me always seemed city still inhabited just out of vanity. Let loose hundreds of tigers, companies of rhinoceros, with strong engine of spirit revving in their deep chests, let them bring the justice of the volcano to this world of trash! Bless the passing of the Shoggoth!"

"There is story from Heian period in Japanese history that I always found amazing. Japan was still ruled by the Imperial court and there were local administrators and so on, like any Oriental centralized despotism. But there was also warrior class. They inherited this from some steppe invasions that changed their society a few centuries before. Anyway as always happens, the Imperial bureaucrats grew useless and weak and by the end of this age, all the actual physical power was with the samurai. What I find amazing is how long it took them to figure out they no longer had to listen to the weak commands of the Imperial hierarchy, and that they were actually the rulers. Words like "legitimacy," "soft power," "rights," or, in their time honor, duty, divine right and so on are all delusions meant to distract and obscure men of power from their own strength and aims, and put them in service to someone else."

"You must look to South Africa where the whites and coloreds could have asked for their own state in Cape Town, and agitated for this, but instead they wanted to keep the country together. The reason for this is that any such secession would have meant giving up all parts of the country rich in gold, diamonds, and many other things. South Africa is an extreme case and secession, where a minority is five or ten percent of the population...here it might happen. But it's a net loss to have the Boers migrate out of the land their ancestors tamed and built, and it would be a net loss in America if it had to happen what some of you want, to cede the southwest to Mexico, or whatever other schemes are discussed."

"I assure you this frightens them, and is many, many times more effective than marching in public and playing the clown they want you to play. The long game of persuading the public is far from won. Keep the eye on the task, far from accomplished: to discredit authorities, to mock all public pieties, to show the leaders of government, bureaucracy, finance, corporations, big tech, and media for the pathetic ghouls they are. Many gains have been made lately, but their dishonor in the eyes of the normies is far from accomplished. When they try to make you expose yourself and to make positive claims, they win. Keep up the pressure of true samizdat."

"Women, on the other hand, must be absolutely excluded from such groups, and rather encouraged to have their own. The presence of women in any group like this will totally destroy its social function, by introducing sexual competition, and by the fact that it's in their blood to play on men's misplaced chivalry to cause friction for their own advantage."

"The purpose of all such "political action" should be the same as memetic samizdat, which is to make the enemy look ridiculous. You must show them for what they are, which is, dour, old, sclerotic, ugly, pedantic; it's good if you show yourself in the opposite light, although not necessary."

"In ancient Greek cities, only the citizens were allowed to lift weights and work in the gym: slaves were forbidden. It's no wonder that the robots of Babylon seek to ban gyms for men in our time."

"Critias, Socrates’ student, was the Hitler of the ancient Greek world. He and his friends established a regime based on atheistic biologism so to speak; on “Sparta radicalized,” a eugenic antinomian dictatorship. He was maybe what Hitler’s most hysterical detractors claim of him today. Critias killed more Athenians in his short rule than died in the decades of the war with Sparta. He expelled almost everyone from the city, and burned the docks, which were the perceived source of democratic power. He wasted all the priests of Eleusis for being tedious religious moralists. He saw the purpose of the Spartan constitution as the creation of one “supreme biological specimen,” and Critias sought to found a state based on such ideas. He and his friends were overthrown quite quickly. Against this catastrophe, carried out in the name of philosophy and nature (of biology) there was a predictable reaction. Socrates’ other students, most of them at least, as well as Isocrates and others, went out of their way to distance themselves from Critias and what he was perceived to stand for: “We are not like that guy. We are good boys. Philosophy isn’t actually about that. We’re doing something different. We’re socially responsible good guys.” Does this sound familiar?"

"And so eventually the truth about the meaning of “nature” really was obscured. When eugenics is obscured there is good chance that you get dysgenic results. And dysgenics as opposed to eugenics combined with modern technology —another product of Socratic-Alexandrian scientific civilization—leads to mechanized and universalized dysgenics. I am trying to explain some of the implications of the work of Nietzsche for a world in which he is still the only prophet, and will remain so for some centuries."

"The sexual market is the pinnacle of every other market. Men in particular are motivated to do only what it takes to secure sexual intercourse with mates of their choosing, and in many cases certainty over the issue of intercourse, which is offspring. ...Knowledge of this fundamental not-so-secret about human nature was the cornerstone of every great and lasting state, religion, or order from antiquity. (Indeed,) Cecrops, the divine half-snake founder of Athens, who rose out of the earth, is said to have first of all created its laws of marriage."

"In the Bible three of the Ten Commandments deal specifically with this matter: do not covet another man’s wife, do not commit adultery, and honor mother and father; the last is the first “substantial” commandment that doesn’t directly involve honoring God but that concerns human behavior as such, and for this reason among others Nietzsche believed it was the constitutive goal of the Hebrews, the striving that defined them as a people. In Judaism during the holiest day of Yom Kippur the prohibition specifically against incest at Leviticus 18 is traditionally repeated, which, as Leo Strauss mentions, agreeing with Nietzsche, is the precondition for honoring mother and father. But the language of Leviticus 18 with its list of sexual prohibitions is especially powerful, contrasting the new laws of the Hebrews with those of the Egyptians and with others who came before them, who defiled the land, and who were vomited out by the land."

"If an average man’s natural desire were to be a good husband and father, then their work would have been easy. But in early Rome, for example, bachelorhood had to be forbidden by law. The problem with the view of the social conservative is that it assumes a man’s duty to his wife and children is more natural, and therefore more easily enforced, than it actually is. They often do not see the immense work that had to go into making men good husbands or fathers, nor the great privileges through which men had to be enticed to accept these duties; still less do they see or dare to mention the great work—some would say oppression—that had to be exerted to make women faithful wives and mothers. Social liberals and feminists make the same mistake. They assume the problem is that men desire patriarchy and ownership over the wife and family, that men desire dominion over wife and children. They do not see these are, in part, methods some civilizations resorted to in order to induce men to accept the responsibilities of father and husband. Men deprived of patriarchy have no reason to accept duty or responsibility, nor the loss of freedom that goes with family life. Social liberals and feminists make the same mistake. They assume the problem is that men desire patriarchy and ownership over the wife and family, that men desire dominion over wife and children. They do not see these are, in part, methods some civilizations resorted to in order to induce men to accept the responsibilities of father and husband. Men deprived of patriarchy have no reason to accept duty or responsibility, nor the loss of freedom that goes with family life. Modern societies are faced with men who either reap the fruits of sexual liberation through easy copulation, or men who for any number of reasons won’t or can’t put up with the stress of this chase and instead become apathetic, at least so far as women are concerned. The problem, as social liberals and feminists are finding out, isn’t that men seek by nature or education to dominate wives or children, but that men simply don’t care."

"Who wins in the sexual market as it is formed in a particular society, who gets to breed, is closely related, nearly identical to the question of how the next generation in that society is to be constituted. The question of the sexual and breeding laws is therefore identical to the question of regime, constitution, or foundation as such."

"To speak of superior and inferior ways of life is necessarily to deny that every form of life has dignity or meaning. But, in particular, the net effect is to deny that mere life has any worth."

"It is telling that in the language of Homer there are quite a few ways to express that one man is better than another. But none of these refer to the virtue of piety or ability to tell divine laws. The most legitimacy and honor are received from objective and manifest qualities or virtues: ... personal courage in battle, and ability to give good counsel in the assembly of armed men."

"As Strauss points out, Nietzsche does not believe in "a science of morals which teaches the only true morality," and this specifically includes rational or utilitarian morality: rather for Nietzsche what is natural is only the binding or burdening of man to precisely unnatural and unreasonable laws. "Over and against the ruinous permissiveness of anarchism, Nietzsche asserts that precisely long-lasting obedience to unnatural and unreasonable nomoi is the ‘moral imperative of nature.' Physis calls for nomoi while preserving the distinction, nay, opposition of physis and nomos."

"Nietzsche's rejection of a rational morality is based on his rejection of a utilitarian morality; it is precisely the binding of man to arbitrary, even absurd laws, to laws which serve no particular benefit, that is the character of morality. Religion, premodern polytheism then, cannot emerge out of a utilitarian morality as in the model of Hume. Peoples themselves are the result of the founding acts of creative prophets; much as in Rousseau, Nietzsche believes such prophets or founders—legislators in the highest sense—are the origin therefore of mores and conventions by which peoples live. In this task the founder uses religion, but the religious experience of such founders, and by extension religious experience in general, is therefore not reducible to calculation of benefit or of self-interest."

"The salvation and training of this biological type that provides ‘raw material’ for both the philosopher and the tyrant is Plato’s fundamental political concern. The production—the breeding—and training of this biological specimen—the production of genius—is the original and fundamental function of political philosophy on the one hand, and of tyranny on the other."

"If a woman has a problem, we say "What can we do to fix society?" If a man has a problem, we say "What can a man do to fix himself?""

"I'll soon get him jumped by guys and he won't know what day it is. I'll make sure he gets jumped,* he won't know who did it and how."

"My mum was crying everyday. We worked at home at the time. I would get her breakfast. She would tell me “I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore""

"[Saqib Hussain] posted a photo of a woman’s naked body with [my mum's] head photoshopped on. He posted it on TikTok... That was sent around the world, globally. Two pictures were posted, one of them was my face. It was the same naked body but with different faces on."

"Who checked up on you today? Exactly, so just focus on yourself."

"You gotta know your worth, even if it does get a little lonely sometimes."

"SAB’R. Allah is watching, He is listening to your every du’aa."

"Some of you are just mean for no reason and it’s weird."

"She was driving an Audi which was a courtesy car that could be traced back to her. Neither Ansreen Bukhari or Mahek Bukhari wore anything covering their faces. The evidence does not establish an intent to kill."

"You are oblivious to the damage you do."

"TikTok and Instagram lie at the heart of this case. You, Mahek Bukhari, being an influencer on both platforms. That was the reason you dropped out of university. Had you not done so you would be a young graduate with your whole life ahead of you. But now you confine yourself to prison for all of your best years."

"The Internet makes you stupid."

"Do you have stairs in your house?"

"I guess my nipples are nicer to look at."

"I’m not doing acting for fame or to be a celebrity. I do it because it’s a calling. I believe I was chosen to tell these stories and bring hope to people"

"I was excited, and he was just as excited to work with me. It was confusing to me that someone like him would be impressed working with me"

"Believe in yourself, Don’t lose your identity trying to fit in"

"Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips?"

"I don't wanna die so young. Got so much to do."

"I'ma fuck up my life. We gon' party all night. She don't care if I die."