"I was a loser for 17 years before I finally left my moms house because she was an alcoholic that liked to fight with my abusive step dad a bit too much, I lost my first “real” job at a movie theater for letting my boss perform the oral on me, I spent most of my college years drinking bacardi 151, doing whip-its, and being way too concerned that my girlfriend was cheating on me; spoiler alert, she was and when I broke up with her she fucked her boss at Sonics 24 hours later which really sucked because I loved their onion rings for lunch, so then I jumped into a life of bootlegging DVDs on Ebay..."