138 quotes found
"Hedwig: How did some slip of a girlyboy from Communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?"
"Hedwig: She came up to me after the show and I thought, "This lady wants a piece of me." So, you know, I was alone, I had nothing in my hand, I was gonna go for the eyes... She came at me from both sides and she gave me a fucking hug."
"Hedwig: Tommy, can you hear me? From this milkless tit you sucked the very business we call show!"
"Hedwig: I scraped by with odd jobs, mostly the jobs we call blow."
"TV: Good things come to those who wait."
"Hedwig: I lost my job at the base PX, and I lost my gag reflex. You do the math."
"Hedwig: It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forceably or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again?"
"Hedwig: I grew up listening to the American masters: Toni Tennille, Debbie Boone, Anne Murray--who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the crypto-homo rockers: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, David Bowie--who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada."
"Hedwig:(singing) My sex change operation got botched/ My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch/ Now all I've got is a Barbie Doll Crotch/ I got an angry inch!"
"Hedwig:(singing) Now, there was three sexes, one looked like two men back to back/ called the Children of the Sun/ and similar in shape and girth was the Children of the Earth/ They looked like two girls rolled up in one/ And the Children of the Moon looked like a fork shoved on a spoon/ They was part sun, part Earth, part daughter, part son."
"Hedwig: He played me songs. The bands were new to me: Boston, Kansas, America, Europe, Asia. Travel exhausts me."
"Hedwig: You don't put a bra in a dryer. It warps!"
"Tommy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? Hedwig: No, but I love his work."
"Hedwig: I stumble naked through the ruins, back towards blander, less complicated confections, leaving in my wake a trail of rainbow carnage."
"Hedwig: I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll entitled "You, Kant, Always Get What You Want""
"Hedwig: I tried singing once, back in Berlin; they threw tomatoes. After the show I had a nice salad."
"[to Dan] What if in a few years we don't marry some corporate lawyer? What if we marry some meatball, like you? Or not you, personally, but someone with similarly low socioeconomic prospects."
"Anything I did that was wrong, I apologize for. But anything I did that was not wrong, I don't apologize for."
"This is going to sound dumb, but, it really works. Whenever you can, throw the word sexy - into a conversation. Its a kind of a signal. Like, um, there's something really sexy about strobe lights. Or, eh, this fabric is so sexy."
"Do you think the neurological effects of caffeine are similar to that of cocaine?"
"I could be gay."
"Group social life has its place, but at a certain point other biological factors come into play. Our bodies weren't really designed for group social life. A certain amount of pairing off was always part of the original plan."
"I'm not an addict. I'm a habitual user."
"Yuppie stands for "young upwardly mobile professional". Nightclub flunkie is not a professional category. I wish we were yuppies. Young, upwardly mobile, professional. Those are good things, not bad things."
"Do you know that Shakespearean admonition 'To thine own self be true'? It's premised on the idea that 'thine own self' is pretty good, being true to which is commendable. What if 'thine own self' is not so good? What if it's pretty bad? Would it better, in that case. not to be true to 'thine own self'? See? That's my situation."
"[to Des] I couldn't believe you'd be involved in the kind of things that have been going on here and told them so. I consider you a person of some integrity, except, you know, in your relations with women."
"[About Lady and the Tramp] There is something depressing about it and it's not really about dogs. Except for some superficial bow-wow stuff at the start, the dogs all represent human types which is where it gets into real trouble. Lady, the ostensible protagonist, is a fluffy blond cocker spaniel with absolutely nothing on the brain. She's great looking but, let's be honest, incredibly insipid. Tramp, the love interest is a smarmy braggart of the most obnoxious kind, an oily jail bird out for a piece of tail or whatever he can get. No, he's a self confessed chicken thief; an all around sleaze ball. What's the function of a film of this kind? Essentially it's a primer about love and marriage directed at very young people, imprinting on their little psyches that smooth talking delinquents recently escaped from the local pound are a good match for nice girls in sheltered homes. When in ten years the icky human version of Tramp shows up around the house their hormones will be racing and no one will understand why. Films like this program women to adore jerks."
"Disco will never be over. It will always live in our minds and hearts. Something like this that was this big, and this important, and this great, will never die. Oh for a few years, maybe many years it will be considered passé and ridiculous. It will be misrepresented, caricatured and sneered at, or worse, completely ignored. People will laugh about John Travolta, Olivia Newton John, white polyester suits and platform shoes and going like this! [mimics Saturday Night Fever pose] But we had nothing to do with those things and still loved disco. Those who didn't understand will never understand. Disco was much more, and much better than all that. Disco was too great and too much fun to be gone forever. It has got to come back someday. I just hope it will be in our own lifetimes...Sorry, I've got a job interview this afternoon and I was trying to get revved up, but - most of what I said I, uh, believe."
"Jimmy Steinway: [to Alice] There isn't a chance of you getting infatuated with me again is there?"
"Tom Platt: The environmental movement of our times was sparked by the rerelease of Bambi in the 1950s."
"Ted Boynton: Barcelona is beautiful but in human terms, pretty cold."
"History is made at night."
"Chloë Sevigny - Alice Kinnon"
"Kate Beckinsale - Charlotte Pingress"
"Chris Eigeman - Des McGrath"
"Mackenzie Astin - Jimmy Steinway"
"Matt Keeslar - Josh Neff"
"Robert Sean Leonard - Tom Platt"
"Jennifer Beals - Nina Moritz"
"Matt Ross - Dan Powers"
"Tara Subkoff - Holly"
"Taylor Nichols - Ted Boynton"
"Your Mom calls the vacuum cleaner "jaws"?"
"Honey if you call and I'm not home I'll be at the gym or the gun club."
"Honey, you gave me some real good advice once, so let me give you some of my own. It's real easy to forget what's important, so don't."
"[Trying to get Kenny to give up his security blanket] I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious."
"Kenny, don't paint your sister!"
"[to Jinx] You yell at my kid like that again, I'm knockin' you out!"
"Annette: Hello Jack? I'm Annette. You're doing it wrong."
"Doris (TV Repairwoman): Are you crazy? You fed a baby chili!"
"When mom goes to work, dad goes berserk!"
"Caroline's a rising executive. Jack just lost his job. Jack's going to have to start from the bottom up."
"Michael Keaton - Jack Butler"
"Teri Garr - Caroline Butler"
"Frederick Koehler - Alex Butler"
"Taliesin Jaffe - Kenny Butler"
"Courtney White - Megan Butler"
"Brittany White - Megan Butler"
"Martin Mull - Ron Richardson"
"Miriam Flynn - Annette"
"Ann Jillian - Joan"
"Jeffrey Tambor - Jinx"
"Christopher Lloyd - Larry"
"Tom Leopold - Stan"
"[from trailer] Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?"
"[about Blaine] Hey look, it's the douchebag from Karate Kid 3."
"[to Lou] I knew I hated you for a reason! I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!"
"Outta my way stool"
"[to Jacob, while Lou is shocked that the former does not have ritalin] Don't fuckin' lie to me. Every one of you people have ritalin."
"I wanna fuck something!"
"It's called male bonding, okay? Haven't you even seen Wild Hogs'?"
"God, relax. It's like you've haven't seen a little cum on your friend's face before."
"Okay, lay down. We got a stupid baby to make."
"[trying to disclaim rumors of his impotence] Oh God! I'm gonna cum! Shia Lebeouf! I'm fucking Adam's sister! Dropping loads! So much fucking semen! Little Tiny Jacobs!"
"Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a fuck?"
"Why don't you shut your slut mouth and mind your own fucking business?"
"If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. A shotgun to the dick."
"[to Lou] You are the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!"
"Maybe what you need isn't in here. Maybe what you need has been in here all along."
"Enrique fuckin' Iglesias!"
"[on being stuck in the 80's] How am I supposed to get a job?"
"It must be some kind of hot tub time machine... [deadpans into camera]"
"[upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years] Muthafucka."
"[pretending to speak Russian] D-d-do svidanya! Do svidanya! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Priviet! Na zdorovie!"
"This now, this time, it's not ours. We weren't here when it happened. The experiment took place on a ship in a Philadelphia harbor. It was - 1943, October. Does this sound... crazy? You know, or is this sort of thing possible now?"
"I can't believe this! Germany and Japan are our friends, and Russia's the enemy now?"
"You know, I got it all figured out... Navy owes me 40 years back pay."
"Sheriff Bates: We've all got problems, honey. But we don't solve 'em with guns."
"An adventure beyond time."
"The experiment that should never have happened 41 years ago... Is still going on."
"Michael Paré — David Herdeg"
"Nancy Allen — Allison Hayes"
"Eric Christmas — Dr. James Longstreet"
"Bobby Di Cicco — Jim Parker"
"Louise Latham — Pamela"
"Stephen Tobolowsky — Barney"
"Ralph Manza — Older Jim"
"Kene Holliday — Major Clark"
"Joe Dorsey — Sheriff Bates"
"Michael Currie — Magnussen"
"In the early 80's nearly 100,000 Russian Jews immigrated to the United States, escaping oppression in the USSR... Vlad Reznik and Pavel Soloyov left with their families in the hopes of experiencing the American dream."
"I make you fair offer. Buy out your half of the business."
"[To Kostya] What, your hand's broke?! You can't make call?! Only numbers you know are for bookie, OTB and loan shark for when you lose to bookie and OTB! [Kostya grabs Vlad's shirt in rage and accuses him of trying to destroy the business]"
"[Told by Anielka that not everyone can get a bank loan] All right, I know. I know. Pillar of the community and all that. I get it."
"[Asked by Anielka what he thinks of Vlad, his father] I think he's running the place like it's 1978 and I don't know how he has enough money."
"[As a prepubescent boy to Daniel] This is Yuri, he cooks and shit. Sometimes all at once. [Yuri asks in Russian if Daniel would like something to eat] English, shithead. [Brings Daniel to two burly grown men at table] Daniel, meet the animals. [Man swipes towel on floor] You wanna get your fat ass kicked again?"
"[Leads Daniel away from massage parlor woman] Ooh, I'm telling."
"[As a prepubescent boy to Daniel in changeroom] I was born ready. The line is; I was born ready. Yes, a crane if do write. [Kicks over towel bin] No can defense. [Daniel nods in approval]"
"[As a prepubescent boy to Daniel, in hospital with bandage on face] I mean all that stuff you see in the movies about people gettin' cut and gettin' stabbed, you wouldn't think it hurts as much, but it does. You know I gotta get an eye patch? Yeah, I'm gonna be like Snake Plissken. What's he say? "I don't give a fudge about your war or your president". Escape from New York. [Shakes Daniel's head] Daniel. [Jiggling Daniel's chin] Come on, Daniel. Any sound in there? Danetchka, Daniel."
"[To Daniel over being escorted] I'm black belt and Kung fu, Jujutsu and the art of seduction. All Russian women are."
"[To Daniel] You haven't been here alot, since I was a girl. But for some reason, this place seems complete when you're around."
"[To Daniel] Keep this one off the floor. You will slip. And we need this head of yours in one piece. [Gives Daniel drink and walks away]"
"[Walks out door of massage parlor in just underwear to see Daniel and Maxim, to Daniel] You don't belong here, who are you?"
"Nikolai Tsankov as Vlad Reznik"
"John D. Alexander as Pavel Soloyov"
"Yanina Studilina as Anielka"
"Gonzalo Vargas as Daniel Reznik Esquire"
"Neraida Bega as Vetone"
"Kresh Novakovic as Kostya"
"James Biberi as Ivan"
"Chris Tardio as Nathan"
"Barnes Reginald L. Barnes as Tariq"
"Elle Army as Josephine (as Ellen Michelle Monohan)"
"Munro M. Bonnell as Misha"
"Peter Reznikoff as Jack"
"Cathy Salvodon as Julia Shields"
"Hello, my name is Dr. Mercurio Arboria, and I am the founder of the Arboria Institute. It has long been my dream to find the perfect way for people to achieve, simply, happiness, contentment, inner peace. These seem to be things that strangely elude us all, but it doesn't have to be that way. We at Arboria have found a path to achieve them. Here at the Institute, we are in the forefront worldwide in neuro-psychology and new therapeutic technologies. Dr. Barry Nyle, our head of research, myself, and our dedicated team of herbalists, naturopaths, and healers, have found a way to make that dream a reality. Through our unique blend of benign pharmacology, sensory therapy, and energy sculpting, we can guide you gently along the path to a new, better, happier you, all in the comfortable surroundings of our state-of-the-art facility and our award-winning gardens. We invite you to join us and find out for yourself."
"[while holding baby Elena and before submerging her into the black goo] Your mother's reabsorption into the cycle of life won't be for nothing, my darling, Elena. You will be the dawning of a new era for the human race… and the human soul. Let the new age of enlightenment begin!"
"Bring home the mother lode, Barry."
"I went to another world, Rosemary. I see what others cannot see. I looked into the eye of God, and it looked right back through me. It looked through everything. Rosemary, it was so, so, so beautiful… like a black rainbow. And it chose me. It chose to reveal itself to me."
"You look tired today. It's easy to become disillusioned when you don't know who you are, or what you are. I know who I am. That's what gives me my confidence, and my power. And I know who you are too, Elena. I can guide you towards that achievement, to find your inner strength, and your inner power. We all have other forms, and your inner self needs another to complete it. I can help you do that. You just have to let… me… in."
"Michael Rogers – Barry Nyle"
"Eva Allan – Elena"
"Scott Hylands – Mercurio Arboria"
"Marilyn Norry – Rosemary Nyle"
"Rondel Reynoldson – Margo"
"Sara Stockstad – Anna Arboria"
"Roy Campsall – the Sentionaut"