Film producers from the United States

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"

"[unenthusiastically at the beginning of every show in response to audience applause] "Thanks.""

"I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again."

"I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn't hear a thing."

"I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it."

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"When I first read the dictionary, I thought it was a long poem about everything."

"I went to a museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time."

"Sometimes you cannot hear me, it's because sometimes I'm in parentheses."

"I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add."

"A lot of people are afraid of heights; not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"I woke up one morning, [my girlfriend] asked me if I slept good. I said, "No, I made a few mistakes.""

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'"

"I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote," so right before I die I could say "unquote.""

"Lots of my friends have babies, but I don't have any babies. But I have lots of friends; babies don't have any friends. They all have those baby-monitors so they can hear the baby from the other room, which I consider a form of wiretapping. One day there's gonna be a really smart baby who makes a fake recording of some fake baby noises... gonna crawl out of the window and go to Italy."

"I need one of those baby-monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about."

"Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious."

"It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no one to talk to."

"They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven... They're right."

"I bought a new camera. It's very advanced. You don't even need it."

"I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. [sighs] It's a start..."

"In school they told me "Practice makes perfect." And then they told me "Nobody's perfect," so then I stopped practicing."

"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter."

"I tried to hang myself with bungie cords. I kept almost dying."

"About five years ago, somebody showed me some web sites that had my material all over them, and I thought that was fascinating. One reason was, I'd never seen my jokes written one right after another like that. I write on drawing paper—I don't even like lines on the paper—so I have notebooks all over the place with handwritten pieces of my act in them. So to see it go by, all typed out neatly, was like, "Wow." And then two or three years ago, someone showed me a site, and half of it that said I wrote it, I didn't write. Recently, I saw one, and I didn't write any of it. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes, I wish I had thought of them. A giant amount of them, I'm embarrassed that people think I thought of them, because some are really bad."

"Steven had a great line. They were askin' us "What's it like as a comedian in front of 80,000 people?" And Steven said "If you're swimming in the ocean, it doesn't matter how deep the water is. All you can do is swim.""

"Speaking about his Irish/Jewish/Russian ancestors, Harrison Ford said that he is “Irish as a person but I feel Jewish as an actor.”"

"The simplest answer is probably the most truthful: After two years of sitting on my ass during COVID, and waiting quite a few years for Indiana Jones to start, I had not done as much work as I wanted to and I wanted to do different things. So [Shrinking] came along, and then, very quickly after that, 1923 came along. I took the job without a script on both of them, on faith that the people who created the projects were going to deliver me a good script. I really didn’t realize how much work 1923 was going to be, and I absolutely feel it’s worth it. I’m excited to do another season of both."

"I just don't understand the need to name something "the best" or more better than something else. Saying one thing is better than another, one performance is better than another performance — there can't be a contest in this area. I don't understand that."

"I wouldn't be doing this interview if I didn't like you."

"I am in show business. I don't, for a minute, ever forget that this is a business that I'm involved in, and it plays by business' rules."

"I don't think I have something that's pronounceable as a philosophy. ... When it was fashionable to say, "May the Force be with you," I always said, "Force yourself." ... I'll say again then, "The Force is within you. Force yourself.""

"Flying is the tension between freedom and responsibility. The obligation on every flight is to ensure the safety of the people aboard. It's serious. And I continually have to meet the standards. And: it's the third dimension! We're living the two dimensional life here on the ground. When you get up there and you see the third dimension - that's what's so exciting about these kids, the Young Eagles. You fly 'em over their house and it's the first time they really know where they live."

"It is a bit of a shock to discover that there are things that a writer can bring to a script that you recognize as a shadow of your own experience. You don’t necessarily actively draw on some specific thing that happened to you—but it’s in the bank, and you want to spend it."

"I can tell you this: If I’d been less successful, I’d probably be a better parent."

"Which I still get shit about from my wife, like I don’t take mental health seriously. I do take mental health seriously. I was trying to say, as I explained to her: It’s that I accommodate all of the flaws that people go to psychiatrists to accommodate, because I accept my flaws. I accept my flaws and my failures—I don’t accept them, I own them. And certainly the more constant gardener is the better parent, and I’ve been out of town, up my own ass, for most of my life."

"[Donald Trump] doesn’t have any policies, he has whims. It scares the shit out of me. The ignorance, the hubris, the lies, the perfidy. [Trump] knows better, but he’s an instrument of the status quo and he’s making money, hand over fist, while the world goes to hell in a handbasket."

"[The President dislikes wind turbines because] he has just not seen a gold one."

"[On climate change] I knew it was coming, I have been preaching this stuff for 30 years. [...] Everything we've said about climate change has come true. Why is that not sufficient that it alarms people that they change behaviors? Because of the entrenched status quo."

"He's losing ground because everything he says is a lie [...] I'm confident we can mitigate against [climate change], that we can buy time to change behaviors, to create new technologies, to concentrate more fully on implementation of those policies. But we have to develop the political will and intellectual sophistication to realize that we human beings are capable of change. We are incredibly adaptive, we are incredibly inventive. If we concentrate on a problem we can fix it most times."

"We are teetering on the edge. [...] Indigenous people are the stewards of much of the remaining standing forests and contain the hope that these precious places can be preserved. The science has proved the value in their preservation but that does not keep them from encroachment, and the protection they are granted is tenuous in some of the countries these assets exist in."

"I'm in a room of actors, many of whom are here because they've been nominated to receive a prize for their amazing work. While I'm here to receive a prize for being alive. That said, it is a little weird to be getting a Lifetime Achievement Award at the half-point of my career."

"I found a calling. A life in storytelling. An identity in pretending to be other people."

"Ours is a tough business to get into. In my case, it's been a tough business to get out of, thank God."

"Sometimes, we make entertainment. Sometimes, we make art. Sometimes, if we're lucky, we make 'em both at the same time. And if we're really fortunate, we also get to make a living doing it."

"[Thank] you to SAG-AFTRA for honoring me with this prize; this is very encouraging."

"I've been stopped cold from eating another burger!"

"My reaction is that free speech not only lives, it rocks!"

"I will continue to use my voice. I believed from the beginning that [the lawsuit] was an attempt to muzzle my voice, and I come from a people who have struggled and died in order to have a voice in this country. And I refused to be muzzled."

"I'm still off hamburgers."

"I never think about what I want. It's about what you want to give to other people."

"It felt like a new day."

"I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it – how can you be this close without it being sexual?"

"What I learned at a very early age was that I was responsible for my life. And as I became more spiritually conscious, I learned that we all are responsible for ourselves, that you create your own reality by the way you think and therefore act. You cannot blame apartheid, your parents, your circumstances, because you are not your circumstances. You are your possibilities. If you know that, you can do anything."

"I think that, uh, you know, I'm really happy that the message, or at least some of the message of The Secret is reaching mass consciousness in a way that people realize that they can begin to, uh, positively affect their lives. That's why when I was on the show and said "I've lived this way my whole life", and people who watched our show for years know that I've been talking about how you take responsibility for your life and the choices that you make. Empower your life. And so, when I say that, you know, um, that's how I live my life, the message of The Secret, that's what I mean. I also believe, that, uh, medical healing or healing comes in lots of forms. You know that adage about the guy being lost and God sent him a boat and God sent him — then he gets to heaven and says "Why didn't you help me?" And God's, "I sent you the boat, fool!" So, that's the way I look at medical healing."

"What other people label or might try to call failure, I have learned is just God's way of pointing you in a new direction."

"I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear."

"You want motivation? You still don't understand what our children are up against? Let me read you something that was posted on our message boards from someone who claims to be a member of a known pedophile network. He said this: he doesn't forgive, he does not forget, his group has over nine thousand penises and they're all raping children. So, I want you to know: they're organized, and they have systematic ways of hurting children and they use the internet to do it. These are the predators that are molesting and raping our children. They're trading the photos and videos online, and I want to stress again: this is not about politics, it's about giving the dedicated men and women of law enforcement who are trying to catch these predators the resources they need."

"All the energy that you spend, trying to hurt somebody else, that energy will turn around and slap you in the face. The same thing is true, Love, what I know is that the energy that put out everyday with the best of intentions that it would reach you where you really live in heart of yourself has come back to me from all of you in full force. So that what we've learnt on this show; You are responsible for your life and when you get that, everything changes, my friends. So don't wait for somebody else to fix you, to save you or complete you..."

"People often ask me: "What is the secret to the success of the show?" "How it lasted 25 years?" I none jokingly say: "My team and Jesus", because nothing but the Hand of God has made this possible for me. For all of you who get railed up when I mentioned God and you wanna know which God am I talking about, I am talking about the same one you talk about, I am talking about the Alpha and Omega, the Omniscience, the Unprecedented, the Ultimate Consciousness, the Source, the Force, the all of everything that is, The One and Only G-O-D, that's what I am talking about..."

"I won't say goodbye, I'll just say until we meet again. To God be the glory."

"Well, I don't call you an atheist then. I think if you believe in the awe and the wonder and the mystery, then that is what God is. That is what God is, not the bearded guy in the sky."

"I feel like my soul is aching for the country. … There's not a day that goes by where I'm not putting on my shoes, or brushing my teeth, where I just think about the ordinariness of, people who just went to a concert, or the ordinariness of the day from people from 9/11, who were just doing an ordinary thing, and then you never get home. … So, I would say that these days of crisis and tragedy are to remind us all to be present in the ordinariness of our lives, that actually turns out to be extraordinary, when the person you love doesn't come home at night. I pay attention to things, you know? … This is to make us all more awakened about our own life, and the fact that it shows up this way is a horror. But, as I heard someone say, seeing people coming together, helping each other — whether it's this crisis we're in or what we saw weeks ago in, in Houston, in Florida, and now in Puerto Rico — it shows the humanity of us all. So, it's an opportunity to show the best of ourselves, when the worst shows up."

"I would say, we can't allow ourselves to be frightened into not living our lives, and I think that we have to keep going and we have to keep going with the faith that thing will get better … And things will get better when we make them better."

"I had a lot of wealthy men calling, telling me that they would run my campaign and raise $1 billion for me. I am actually humbled by the fact that people think that I could be a leader of the free world, but it's just not in my spirit. . . it's not in my DNA"

"I know where my lane is, and I know how to stay in my lane. My lane is evolving the consciousness of people."

"The thing that I do best is "Be Here. Be Now"."

"Turn your wounds into wisdom."

"Trust your heart, and success will come to you."

"Surround yourself with people only who are going to take you higher"

"Your life is not static. Every decision, setback, or triumph is an opportunity to identify the seeds of truth that make you the wondrous human being that you are. I'm not talking just about what you do for a living. When you pay attention to what feeds your energy, you move in the direction of the life for which you were intended. Trust that the Universe has a bigger, wider, deeper dream for you than you could ever imagine for yourself."

"Growing up in the church, one of my favorite Bible parables was about the mustard seed: If you have faith, even if it's as little as a mustard seed, you can move mountains. Anything is possible. As a child, listening from my seat in church, this brought me so much comfort- just as it did when I was struggling as a reporter in Baltimore and as it still does today."

"As you begin to identify the seeds of knowing along your own path, the first question to ask yourself is, What do I believe? Do you believe that you are worthy of happiness, success, abundance, fulfillment, peace, joy, and love? What I know for sure is you become what you believe."

"Nourish what makes you feel confident, connected, contented. Opportunity will rise to meet you."

"Years ago, I interviewed a grieving mother whose adult son had died after a long illness. You could have heard a pin drop in the studio when she so beautifully told the story of their final moment together. The mother had climbed into bed with her son. She could barely hear him, but her head was on his chest. As he took his last breath, he whispered, "Oh Mom, it is all so simple. It's so simple, Mom." He then closed his eyes and died. I got chills when I heard that. I realized then, just as it resonates with me now: We allow life to get so complicated- when it's really so very simple. From that day forward I resolved to continually ask myself, How am I making things more difficult than they need to be? Your answer to that same question is the next step in your path. It's that simple. Imagine what lies just around the bend. Can you see it? I can. Love, Oprah."

"[Contradicting an assertion from Angela Davis] Small steps lead to big accomplishments."

"[E]verything is always working out for you."

"[Winfrey attributes this aphorism to Jeff Weiner, founder of Linkedin] Failure is what’s going to humble you."

"[Attributed to a friend's Buddhist teacher] Be yourself–but be all of you."

"[At the beginning of the midterm campaigns,] I said it was up to the citizens of Pennsylvania, but I will tell you all this — if I lived in Pennsylvania, I would've already cast my vote for John Fetterman, for many reasons"

"I am so honored to have been asked to speak on tonight’s theme about what matters most to me, to you, and all of us Americans: freedom. There are people who want you to see our country as a nation of "us against them". People who want to scare you, who want to rule you. People who’d have you believe that books are dangerous and assault rifles are safe, that there’s a right way to worship and a wrong way to love. People who seek first to divide and then to conquer. But here’s the thing: when we stand together, it is impossible to conquer us."

"America is an ongoing project. It requires commitment, it requires being open to the hard work and the heart work of democracy. And every now and then, it requires standing up to life’s bullies. I know this. I’ve lived in Mississippi, in Tennessee, in Wisconsin, Maryland, Indiana, Florida, Hawaii, Colorado, California, and sweet home Chicago, Illinois. I have actually traveled this country from the redwood forest — love those redwoods — to the Gulf Stream waters. I’ve seen racism and sexism and income inequality and division. I’ve not only seen it; at times, I’ve been on the receiving end of it. But more often than not, what I’ve witnessed and experienced are human beings, both conservative and liberal, who may not agree with each other, but who would still help you in a heartbeat if you were in trouble. These are the people who make me proud to say that I am an American. They are the best of America."

"And despite what some would have you think, we are not so different from our neighbors. When a house is on fire, we don’t ask about the homeowner’s race or religion. We don’t wonder who their partner is or how they voted. No, we just try to do the best we can to save them. And if the place happens to belong to a childless cat lady, well, we try to get that cat out too. ’cause we are a country of people who work hard for the money. We wish our brothers and sisters well, and we pray for peace. We know all the old tricks and tropes that are designed to distract us from what actually matters, but we are beyond ridiculous tweets and lies and foolery. These are complicated times, people, and they require adult conversation. And I welcome those conversations because civilized debate is vital to democracy, and it is the best of America."

"This election isn’t about "us and them". It’s about you and me and what we want our futures to look like. There are choices to be made when we cast our ballot. Now, there’s a certain candidate that says, if we just go to the polls this one time, then we’ll never have to do it again. Well, you know what? You’re looking at a registered independent who’s proud to vote again and again and again. Because I’m an American, and that’s what Americans do. Voting is the best of America. And I have always, since I was eligible to vote, I’ve always voted my values. And that is what is needed in this election, now more than ever. So I’m calling on all you independents and all you undecideds. You know this is true. You know I’m telling you the truth: that values and character matter most of all, in leadership and in life. And more than anything — you know this is true — that decency and respect are on the ballot in 2024. And just plain common sense."

"We are Americans. Let us choose loyalty to the Constitution over loyalty to any individual, because that’s the best of America. And let us choose optimism over cynicism, because that’s the best of America. And let us choose inclusion over retribution. Let us choose common sense over nonsense, because that’s the best of America. And let us choose the sweet promise of tomorrow over the bitter return to yesterday. We won’t go back. We won’t be sent back, pushed back, bullied back, kicked back. We’re not going back. So, let us choose. Let us choose truth, let us choose honor, and let us choose joy! Because that’s the best of America. But more than anything else, let us choose freedom. Why? Because that’s the best of America. We’re all Americans, and together, let’s all choose Kamala Harris!"

"She actually is somebody who has the ability to move mountains and change minds."

"Oprah is different. Oprah has an army out there that really listens. She's one of the great marketing machines in history."

"So far, I don't see anything negative on this woman. I think she's a real icon. She's much more complex and complicated than just a talk show host. Maya Angelou has said she sees her as a true missionary. Everybody has a different take on Oprah."

"Most great instigators of social change have intimate personal knowledge of trauma. Oprah Winfrey comes to mind, as do Maya Angelou, Nelson Mandela, and Elie Wiesel. Read the life history of any visionary, and you will find insights and passions that came from having dealt with devastation."

"She's — her great strength, if anybody watches the show — and I think everybody does in Iowa; it's the number one show in Iowa — she's instructive. She's empowering. Every time you watch an Oprah broadcast, at the end of it, you know more than you started and you feel stronger. That's her strength."

"We had a few high-profile moments of our own, including a series of rallies with Oprah Winfrey, who'd become a friend and supporter, and was as wise, funny, and gracious on the trail as she was in person"

"You have to admire Oprah Winfrey. She is the most powerful woman in the country and comes from a very humble background. The woman has succeeded on talent and energy."

"I am grateful for the contribution Oprah Winfrey has made to our country in regard to reading."

"The first eighteen years of life profoundly impact your entire life. In the book What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing, by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., Oprah shares her story of childhood trauma and how those experiences shaped her. Her mother beat her for even the slightest offense, and this abuse turned her into a people-pleaser. It took years for her to realize that her behavior as an adult was rooted in her experiences as a child."

"My own after-school routine included watching The Oprah Winfrey Show. As I've watched old episodes, I realize now that I wasn't ready for the topics, but I certainly needed to hear them. The Oprah show covered abuse, neglect, giveaways, celebrity interviews, and almost every other imaginable subject. Her show gave me the terminology to name things in my life and the lives of others."

"All the movies are about strange worlds that you can't go into unless you build them and film them. That's what's so important about film to me. I just like going into strange worlds."

"The worst thing about this modern world is that people think you get killed on television with zero pain and zero blood. It must enter into kids' heads that it's not very messy to kill somebody, and it doesn't hurt that much. That's a real sickness to me. That's a real sick thing."

"I don't think about technique. The ideas dictate everything. You have to be true to that or you're dead."

"When you're an artist, you pick up on certain things that are in the air. You just feel it. It's not like you're sitting down, thinking, "What can I do to really mess things up?" You're getting ideas, and then the ideas feed into a story, and the story takes shape. And if you're honest about it and you're thinking about characters and what they do, you now see that your ideas are about trouble. You're feeling more depth, and you're describing something that is going on in some way."

"In film, life-and-death struggles make you sit up, lean forward a little bit. They amplify things happening, in smaller ways, in all of us. These things show up in relationships. They show up in struggles and bring them to a critical point."

"The beginning dictates the direction and you never know where you're going to go ... the mood is what you're looking for, and somehow we always find it."

"When I was little in Spokane, Washington I drew all the time... and my father would bring paper home ... and I mostly drew browning automatic water-cooled sub-machine guns... that was my favorite."

"Every single thing in the world that was made by anyone started with an idea. So to catch one that is powerful enough to fall in love with, it is one of the most beautiful experiences. It's like being jolted with electricity and knowledge at the same time."

"I found the world completely and totally fantastic as a child. Of course, I had the usual fears, like going to school ... For me, back then, school was a crime against young people. It destroyed the seeds of liberty. The teachers didn't encourage knowledge or a positive attitude."

"A film is its own thing and in an ideal world I think a film should be discovered knowing nothing and nothing should be added to it and nothing should be subtracted from it."

"I'm not a political person. ... I don't understand politics, I don't understand the concept of two sides and I think that probably there's good on both sides, bad on both sides, and there's a middle ground, but it never seems to come to the middle ground and it's very frustrating watching it and seemingly we're not moving forward. Some change, simple, simple really, relatively speaking, and we're going forwards somewhere, you know? It could be a beautiful place. There's many little obstacles and there's many, many people that are just opposed and we're not going forward."

"My cow is not pretty, but it's pretty to me."

"Life is very, very complicated and so films should be allowed to be too."

"There's this beautiful ocean of bliss and consciousness that is able to be reached by any human being by diving within, which is really peaceful and harmonious and can be enlivened by the group process. This group is a peace-creating group. It saturates the atmosphere. This is all about establishing peace. Right now, we gotta get peace back in the world. Peace is a real thing."

"Being in darkness and confusion is interesting to me. But behind it you can rise out of that and see things the way they really are. That there is some sort of truth to the whole thing, if you could just get to that point where you could see it, and live it, and feel it ... I think it is a long, long, way off. In the meantime there's suffering and darkness and confusion and absurdities, and it's people kind of going in circles. It's fantastic. It's like a strange carnival: it's a lot of fun, but it's a lot of pain."

"Speaking in front of a large crowd is not pleasant. Once it gets rolling, it's okay. But beforehand, it's murder. I'm getting a lot better. The first interview I ever did was in 1972, I believe, and I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak one word. I only said, "I painted it black." That was my one sentence. And so I have improved."

"It makes me uncomfortable to talk about meanings and things. It is better not to know so much about what things mean. Because the meaning, it's a very personal thing and the meaning for me is different than the meaning for someone else."

"The ocean of solutions is within, enliven that. ... It's a world of clues, a world of mystery but the mystery can get solved, you can find a lot of answers for these things within."

"There's so many problems in our world, so much negativity. Don't worry about the darkness — turn on the light and the darkness automatically goes. Ramp up the light of unity within — help do that for yourself, help do that for the world and then we're really doing something, we're doing something that brings that light of unity.""

"Bullshit, that's how I feel. Total fucking bullshit."

"It's such a sadness that you think you've seen a film on your fucking telephone. Get real."

"The sick reality about our over dependance on language is that trying to live without it is like a blind and deaf man with no arms or legs trying to navigate a dark narrow cave, and the cave is full of tarantulas."

"There is a plot. What would be the point of just a bunch of things? There's a story, but the story can hold abstractions. I believe in story. I believe in characters. But I believe in a story that holds abstractions, and a story that can be told based on ideas that come in an unconventional way.""

"Language is an evil thing, a very evil thing. And a force to be reckoned with."

"Don't make a film if it can't be the film you want to make. It's a joke, and a sick joke, and it'll kill you."

"I love child things because there's so much mystery when you're a child. When you're a child, something as simple as a tree doesn't make sense. You see it in the distance and it looks small, but as you go closer, it seems to grow — you haven't got a handle on the rules when you're a child. We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experienced is a narrowing of the imagination."

"I guess I got whacked hard in the mystery department when I was little. I found the world completely and totally fascinating then — it was like a dream. They say that people who think they had a happy childhood are blocking something out, but I think I really had one. Of course I had the usual fears, like going to school — I knew there was some sort of problem there. But every other person sensed that problem too, so my fears were pretty normal."

"There's always fear of the unknown where there's mystery. It's possible to achieve a state where you realize the truth of life and fear disappears, and a lot of people have reached that state, but next to none of them are on Earth. There's probably a few."

"Dark things have always existed but they used to be in a proper balance with good when life was slower. People lived in towns and small farms where they knew everybody and people didn't move around so much so things were a little more peaceful. There were things that they were afraid of for sure, but now it's accelerated to where the anxiety level of the people is in the stratosphere. TV sped things up and caused people to hear way more bad news. Mass media overloaded people with more than they could handle, and drugs also had a lot to do with it. With drugs people can get so rich and whacked out and they've opened up a whole weird world. These things have created a modern kind of fear in America."

"One change of attitude would change everything. If everyone realized that it could be a beautiful world and said let's not do these things anymore — let's have fun."

"There are so many clues and feelings in the world that it makes a mystery and a mystery means there's a puzzle to be solved. Once you think like that you're hooked on probably finding a meaning, and there' many avenues in life where we're given little indications that the mystery can one day be solved. we get little proofs, — not the big proof — but the little proofs that keep us searching."

"When you do something that works you have a happiness, but I don't know if it's a feeling of power. Power is a frightening thing and that's not what I'm interested in. I want to do certain things and make them right in my mind and that's it."

"Ideas are like fish. If you want to catch little fish, you can stay in the shallow water. But if you want to catch the big fish, you've got to go deeper. Down deep, the fish are more powerful and more pure. They're huge and abstract. And they're very beautiful."

"When I first heard about meditation, I had zero interest in it. I wasn't even curious. It sounded like a waste of time. What got me interested, though, was the phrase "true happiness lies within." At first I thought it sounded kind of mean, because it doesn't tell you where the "within" is, or how to get there. But still it had a ring of truth. And I began to think that maybe meditation was a way to go within."

"When I started meditating, I was filled with anxieties and fears. I felt a sense of depression and anger. I often took out this anger on my first wife. After I had been meditating for about two weeks, she came to me and said, "What's going on?" I was quiet for a moment. But finally I said, "What do you mean?" And she said, "This anger, where did it go?" And I hadn't even realized that it had lifted. I call that depression and anger the Suffocating Rubber Clown Suit of Negativity. It's suffocating, and that rubber stinks. But once you start meditating and diving within, the clown suit starts to dissolve. You finally realize how putrid was the stink when it starts to go. Then, when it dissolves, you have freedom. Anger and depression and sorrow are beautiful things in a story, but they are like poison to the filmmaker or artist. They are like a vise grip on creativity. If you're in that grip, you can hardly get out of bed, much less experience the flow of creativity and ideas. You must have clarity to create. You have to be able to catch ideas."

"I started out just as a regular person, growing up in the Northwest. My father was a research scientist for the Department of Agriculture, studying trees. So I was in the woods a lot. And the woods for a child are magical. I lived in what people call small towns. My world was what would be considered about a city block, maybe two blocks. Everything occurred in that space. All the dreaming, all my friends existed in that small world. But to me it seemed so huge and magical. There was plenty of time available to dream and be with friends. I liked to paint and I liked to draw. And I often thought, wrongly, that when you got to be an adult, you stopped painting and drawing and did something more serious."

"I'm not always good with words. Some people are poets and have a beautiful way of saying things with words. But cinema is its own language. And with it you can say so many things, because you've got time and sequences. You've got dialogue. You've got music. You've got sound effects. You have so many tools. And so you can express a feeling and a thought that can't be conveyed any other way. It's a magical medium. For me, it's so beautiful to think about these pictures and sounds flowing together in time and in sequence, making something that can be done only through cinema. It's not just words or music — it's a whole range of elements coming together and making something that didn't exist before. It's telling stories. It's devising a world, an experience, that people cannot have unless they see that film."

"I like the saying "The world is as you are." And I think films are as you are. That's why, although the frames of a film are always the same — the same number, in the same sequence, with the same sounds — every screening is different. The difference is sometimes subtle but it's there. It depends on the audience. There is a circle that goes from the audience to the film and back. Each person is looking and thinking and feeling and coming up with his or her own sense of things. And it's probably different from what I fell in love with. So you don’t know how it's going to hit people. But if you thought about how it's going to hit people, or if it's going to hurt someone, or if it's going to do this or do that, then you would have to stop making films. You just do these things that you fall in love with, and you never know what's going to happen."

"An idea is a thought. It's a thought that holds more than you think it does when you receive it. But in that first moment there is a spark. In a comic strip, if someone gets an idea, a lightbulb goes on. It happens in an instant, just as in life. It would be great if the entire film came all at once. But it comes, for me, in fragments. That first fragment is like the Rosetta stone. It's the piece of the puzzle that indicates the rest. It's a hopeful puzzle piece. In Blue Velvet, it was red lips, green lawns, and the song — Bobby Vinton's version of "Blue Velvet". The next thing was an ear lying in a field. And that was it. You fall in love with the first idea, that little tiny piece. And once you've got it, the rest will come in time."

"Eraserhead is my most spiritual movie. No one understands when I say that, but it is. Eraserhead was growing in a certain way, and I didn't know what it meant. I was looking for a key to unlock what these sequences were saying. Of course, I understood some of it; but I didn't know the thing that just pulled it all together. And it was a struggle. So I got out my Bible and I started reading. And one day, I read a sentence. And I closed the Bible, because that was it. And then I saw the thing as a whole. And it fulfilled this vision for me, 100 percent. I don't think I'll ever say what that sentence was."

"On Blue Velvet, I worked with a casting director, Johanna Ray. And we had all brought up Dennis Hopper. But everybody said, 'No, no; you can't work with Dennis. He's really in bad shape, and you'll have nothing but trouble.' So we continued looking for people. But one day, Dennis' agent called and said that Dennis was clean and sober and had already done another picture, and I could talk to that director to verify it. Then Dennis called and said, 'I have to play Frank, because I am Frank.' That thrilled me, and scared me."

"People have asked me why — if meditation is so great and gives you so much bliss — are my films so dark, and there's so much violence? There are many, many dark things flowing around in this world right now, and most films reflect the world in which we live. They're stories. Stories are always going to have conflict. They're going to have highs and lows, and good and bad. I fall in love with certain ideas. And I am where I am. Now, if I told you I was enlightened, and this is enlightened filmmaking, that would be another story. But I'm just a guy from Missoula, Montana, doing my thing, going down the road like everybody else. We all reflect the world we live in. Even if you make a period film, it will reflect your times. You can see the way period films differ, depending on when they were made. It's a sensibility — how they talk, certain themes — and those things change as the world changes. And so, even though I'm from Missoula, Montana, which is not the surrealistic capital of the world, you could be anywhere and see a kind of strangeness in how the world is these days, or have a certain way of looking at things."

"Stay true to yourself. Let your voice ring out, and don't let anybody fiddle with it. Never turn down a good idea, but never take a bad idea. And meditate. It's very important to experience that Self, that pure consciousness. It's really helped me. I think it would help any filmmaker. So start diving within, enlivening that bliss consciousness. Grow in happiness and intuition. Experience the joy of doing. And you'll glow in this peaceful way. Your friends will be very, very happy with you. Everyone will want to sit next to you. And people will give you money!"

"You feel David in his movies — its another universe he takes you to — its an alternate reality but its close enough to our own that its scary."

"It's great when somebody breaks rules and says, "You know what? There doesn't have to be an answer to this. You don't have to have a fourth wall, you don't have to have any boundaries.""

"Jimmy Stewart from Mars."

"It was curious, so much was in his mind, but he didn't talk about what he was doing, so it was difficult sometimes to follow. He's quite a macabre person. He said to me one day: "You should take the kids to the London Hospital and look at all the freaks in the bottles, the two-headed babies." The actual Elephant Man was in there. He said: "You'll really enjoy it. Take some sandwiches and make a day of it.""

"One day he was showing me a painting he made. It was thick with oil, and right as he showed it to me a moth flew into the painting and got stuck — it flew around and its wings created a little circle in his painting, sort of like the death of a moth ... I thought David would pull the moth out and repaint it, but he fell in love with it the way it was."

"Luckily, David is able to vent everything through his art ... because otherwise somebody might be dead."

"Most people have strange thoughts, but they rationalize them. David doesn't translate his images logically, so they remain raw, emotional. Whenever I ask him where his ideas come from, he says it's like fishing. He never knows what he's going to catch."

"I just tend to admire people who go for what they believe in, like David Lynch for example, and just say what goes through their heads, and are not afraid of people not accepting them. I have no respect for people who deliberately try to be weird to attract attention, but if that's who you honestly are, you shouldn't try to "normalize yourself". It's a fine line."

"Oh, you've got a gun? So, you want to pop that?"

"Yo' waddup; this is Snoop D-O-Double-G sayin' stop the violence, drop the guns, and increase the peace."

"What did Snoop Dogg say to a guy carryin' an umbrella? "looks like drizzle ma nizzle""

"Now this No Limit shit, No Limit nigga Everbody wanna know how this shit happens, but we ain't playa hatin' And what's goin' on, but ya know what? It don't get no realer than this though dog."

"I had to shake the spot cause the game got crowded I'm devoted and quote it, I'm rowdy and bout it A No Limit Soldier, and happy to shout it."

"I'm sellin this shit, I ain't tellin this shit, I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon ya bitch From the cold hearted streets of the LBC To a mansion in the south down the street from my nigga P See, real niggas recognize the realness Put ya muthafuckin' choppers up if ya feel this."

"So if you got your chrome, you need to stay in the zone And get a vest for your mutha fuckin dome Cause it's on like a dog with out his bone I'm in it to win it and No Limit is my home (for life for life)."

"I'm a gangsta, but y'all knew that Da Big Boss Dogg, yeah I had to do that I keep a blue flag hanging out my backside, only on the left side, yeah that's the Crip side."

"Waitin' on the pizzle, the dizzle and the shizzle G's to the bizzack, now ladies here we gizzo."

"Mr. D, why is you doin' the Big Nasty on my bed?!"

"Sex is like a beautiful meeting of genitalia. It's the dance of love between a penis and vagina."

"When I'm not longer rappin', I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg."

"So what if I'm smokin' weed onstage and doing what I gotta do? It's not me shooting nobody, stabbing nobody, killing nobody. It's a peaceful gesture and they have to respect that and appreciate that."

"I keep hearing about muthafucking Harry Potter. Who is this muthafucker?"

"If the ride is more fly, you must buy"

"Fuck Bill O'Reilly. He's a muthafucking prick."

"The revolution will be televised."

"I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices."

"To rule the world."

"Now there's no point in placing the blame And you should know I'd suffer the same"

"A lot of people are just really confused by me; they don’t know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you’re fearing something that it’s bringing up in you."

"Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as sheep."

"I love horses. I think I may have been one of Henry VIII’s knights in another life, riding through a great forest."

"I just like the idea of pills. I like to collect them but not actually take them. When I fell off my horse, I got tons of stuff: Demerol and Vicodin and Xanax and Valium and Oxycontin, which is supposed to be like heroin. And I'm quite scared to take them. I'm a control freak."

"I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay."

"I wanted to be a boy when I was growing up because I was in love with all of the male dancers I knew and they were all gay. And I thought, Well, if I was a boy, they'd love me. So I got into role-playing then. That's where it began. I remember when I was still in high school, I had cut my hair off really short, and I was totally anorexic - I had no boobs - and I would dress like a boy and go to gay clubs and my goal was to trick men into thinking I was a boy."

"I have the most perfect belly button. When I stick my fingers in it, I feel a nerve in the center of my body shoot up my spine."

"I liked my body growing up and I wasn't ashamed of it. I liked boys and didn't feel inhibited by them. Maybe it comes from having brothers and sharing a bathroom. The boys got the wrong impression of me at high school. They mistook forwardness for promiscuity. When they don't get what they want, they turn on you. I went through this period when all the girls thought I was loose and the boys said I was a nymphomaniac. The first boy I ever slept with was my boyfriend and we'd been going out a long time."

"I'm not interested in being Wonder Woman in the delivery room. Give me drugs."

"She never had public favor; it was a bit like the Hillary Clinton thing. She did all the right things for her country, but she wasn't ultimately revered. So she had a conversation with her confidant-adviser. She asked him, when have they ever looked up to or idolized a woman? Only one, he told her, the Virgin Mary. So she said, Then I will become like the Virgin Mary, and she did. She created a facade for herself; she stopped having lovers; she became like a virgin. She became sexless, and painted her face in a white alabaster way, and turned herself into an icon that was untouchable and sexless, and then she had everybody's respect."

"Phallic symbols. You know Catholics. I used to draw people naked all the time in my art class and my nun teachers used to tell me I had to put clothes on them. So I just drew lines around their bodies. See-through clothes."

"I've always known that Catholicism is a completely sexist, repressed, sin- and punishment-based religion."

"Fame is a by-product. Fame is something that should happen because you do work that speaks to people and people want to know about your work. Unfortunately the personality of people has taken over from the work and the artistry and it's this thing now that stands on its own. I don't think one should ever aspire to being famous."

"I must have been Japanese in a previous life. I'm pretty sure I was a warrioress. I can't explain it, I just know. I'm good at fighting - fighting with a big sword."

"This is a historical evening. This is fucking important evening... We are lucky to be sharing it with each other. This is the beginning of a whole new world. Open your fucking head!"

"If we can elect an African American as president, we can support gay marriage! Defeat prop 8! We will not give up!"

"One is that we are all responsible for our actions, our behavior, and our words, and we must take responsibility for everything we say and do. When you get your head wrapped around that, you can no longer think of life as a series of random events - you participate in life in a way you didn't previously. I am the architect of my destiny. I am in charge. I bring that to me, or I push that away. You can no longer blame other people for things that happened to you. The other is that there is order in the universe, even though it looks like chaos. We separate the world into categories: this is good and this is bad. But life is set up to trick us. It's a series of illusions we invest in. And ultimately those investments don't serve our understanding, because physicality is always going to let you down, because physicality doesn't last."

""When I experienced what was going on first hand, I just got sucked into the whole thing. Thank God I did. I met some amazing people and, hopefully, I’ve changed the lives of a lot of children. Just as important, I think it’s been an incredible growing and learning experience for me." (About her work in Malawi)."

"Not only does society suffer from racism and sexism but it also suffers from ageism. Once you reach a certain age you're not allowed to be adventurous, you're not allowed to be sexual. I mean, is there a rule? Are you supposed to just die?"

""Publicly humiliating someone for your own gain will only come and haunt you. God’s going to have his revenge."

"I hate polite conversation. I hate it when people stand around and go, 'Hi, how are you?' I hate words that don't have any reason or meaning. Also I hate it when people smoke in elevators and closed in places. It's just so rude."

"I don't take drugs. I never did. All the feelings that drugs are supposed to produce in you - confidence or energy - I can produce naturally. The only problem is going to sleep. But I never take pills... I drink herbal teas."

"I think that life is a paradox and you have to embrace that in your work and your belief systems... you can't be a literalist, and that's the trouble that people always find themselves in. That's why people always hit a wall with any of my stuff, because you can't take it literally."

"One of my all-time favourite poets is Charles Bukowski. I think he's the coolest guy in the world."

"I'm not a feminist, I'm a humanist."

"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion."

"That consciousness is everything and that all things begin with a thought. That we are responsible for our own fate, we reap what we sow, we get what we give, we pull in what we put out. I know these things for sure."

"I am because we are. We all bleed the same color. We all want to love and be loved."

"Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family."

"Every time I do a show, I die a little bit, but no shit is worth doing unless you're willing to die for it."

"I pay attention to what’s going on around me. I’m always looking for new energy, new talent, new voices. When you do that I think it’s easier to come up with fresh ideas. It's not that my career has been based on surprising people, but it’s been about challenging myself — to constantly do new things that are going to broaden my own mind and in the process, hopefully, connect with other people."

"Family is everything. Family comes first. It's not what I expected it to be, but nothing ever is."

"Now that I got everyone's attention, what do I have to say?"

"I'm not going to compromise my artistic integrity."

"I went to New York. I had a dream. I wanted to be a big star. I didn’t know anybody. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing. I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to make people happy. I wanted to be famous. I wanted everybody to love me. I wanted to be a star. I worked really hard and my dream came true."

"I have a cage It's called the stage When I'm let out I run about And sing and dance and sweat and yell I have so many tales to tell I like to push things to the edge And inch my way along the ledge I feel like God, I feel like shit The paradox, an even split It's just a job, I always say I should be grateful everyday Sometimes I think I just can't do it But I persist and I get through it And I console myself each night At least my cage is filled with light."

"I haven't got much time to waste It's time to make my way I'm not afraid of what I'll face But I'm afraid to stay."

"Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another."

"Most priests are gay."

"Come on girls! Do you believe in love? Cause I got something to say about it."

"I was sacked from Dunkin' Donuts for squirting the donuts jelly all over the customers."

"Rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac."

"The cross is a very powerful symbol and it symbolizes suffering, but it also is connected to a person who was loving and sharing and his message was about unconditional love. I tried to take a powerful image and use it to draw attention to a situation that needs attention. For me, we all need to be Jesus in our time. Jesus' message was to love your neighbor as yourself and these are people in need."

"I fear the future I wish for my children is at risk, so I'm taking action. Please join me. Our greatest risk is not terrorism, and it's not Iraq or the "Axis of Evil". Our greatest risk is a lack of leadership, a lack of honesty and a complete lack of consciousness. Unfortunately our current government cannot see the big picture. They think too small. They suffer from the “what's in it for me?” syndrome. The simple truth is that the current administration has squandered incredible opportunities to bring the world together, to promote peace in regions that have only known war, to encourage health in places that are ravaged with disease, to make us more secure by living up to our principles at home and abroad. The simple truth is that the policies of our current administration do not reflect what is great about America."

"It takes a Real man to fill my shoes."

"Maybe I'm just a gay man inside a woman's body!"

"I don't care if you have a small dick, as long as you know how to use that stick."

"Hey you! Don't be silly! Put a rubber on your willie!"

"No man can have sex with anyone but me and since I don't have that kind of time on my hands, you might as well all be gay!"

"I'll flirt with anyone from garbagemen to grandmothers."

"If you don't like my attitude, then you can fuck off, just go to Texas and suck George Bush's dick!"

"When I came to New York it was the first time I'd ever taken a plane, the first time I'd ever gotten a taxi-cab, the first time for everything. And I came here with 35 dollars in my pocket. It was the bravest thing I'd ever done."

"For me, a male image that I'm really moved by is somewhere between of Oscar Wilde type of a male: the fop, the long hair, the suits, too witty for his own good, incredibly smart, scathingly funny - all that. But then my other ideal is more like the Buddhist monk - the shaved head, actually someone who sublimates their sexuality."

"I am attracted to a thug. I like that quality, but I like the other side of it, too. Because all guys who go around behaving in macho ways are really scared little girls. So you have to look beneath the surface. There's a difference between my ideal man and a man that I'm sexually attracted to, believe me. Therein lies the rub."

"Hollywood is about playing the game, and I can't think of any successful actresses who didn't play the game. there's a lot more renegades in the music business, from Patti Smith to Janis Joplin."

"David Bowie has a huge influence on me because his was his first concert I went to see. I remember watching him and thinking I didn't know what sex he was, and it didn't matter. Because one minute he was wearing body stockings - the whole Ziggy Stardust thing - and the next minute he was the Thin White Duke in white double-breasted suits, and there's something so androgynous about him. And I think androgyny, whether it's David Bowie or Helmut Berger, that has really really influenced my work more than anything."

"I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art."

""When I got my first paycheck, $5'000 or something. I bought a Leger and I bought a Frida Kahlo self-portrait, but I don't know which came first. But I remember buying it and I had just gotten married and it looked completely out of place in my house in Malibu." (When asked what was the first painting she bought)."

"I've always been kind of obsessed with Frida Kahlo, so I was really into the idea of getting something that belonged to her. And then from Frida Kahlo I found out about Tina Modotti and then I started collecting her stuff and Edward Weston, and one person always leads to another person with me, because for me it started with Diego Rivera, then it went to Frida Kahlo, then it went to Tina, and Edward and... Also, if you're into Picasso, and you want to find out about him and that whole area of art and European culture, then you start reading about Man Ray and the surrealists and Andre Breton, and all of a sudden you're in that whole world and you start having interests in other people. It's like a disease."

"What else is there for me to conquer? Hopefully my ego. How will I know when I've succeeded? When I stop caring what anyone thinks."

""When in doubt act like god"."

"One must dare to show what he wants. You have to go and ask for things rather than wait for them to happen."

"I'd like to think I am taking people on a journey; I am not just entertaining people, but giving them something to think about when they leave."

"One set of circumstances does not complete you. Maybe nothing ever does. So you work on your life and you work on your 'work' and you try to live every single day like it's your last. And you try to be better, to yourself and to others. I don't always succeed. But I try and it's my goal."

"I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in, and going after your dreams."

"I'm everything!"

"Italians do it Better"

"Life's too short to be bitter, I'm too short to be bitter."

"Beauty is where you find it."

"Absolutely no regrets."

"Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in. A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45 and feels the need to punish her if she continues to be strong-willed, hard-working and adventurous. […] I have been degraded by the media since the beginning of my career but I understand that this is all a test and I am happy to do the trailblazing so that all the women behind me can have an easier time in the years to come."

"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. And when I feel like saying something, I just say it."

"Madonna: "Is that a rug?" (referring to David Letterman's hair)."

"Letterman: (after the singer brands him a "sick fuck") "You realize this is being broadcast don't you?""

"Madonna: "Listen, all you do is talk about my sex life on your show, so now you don't want to talk about my sex life when I'm on your show?!""

"Letterman: "I want to thank you folks for coming out for this run-through show. Thank you very much. This, of course, will never see the light of day. You won't miss a thing tonight.""

"Letterman: "Oh, stop it! Will you stop? Ladies and gentlemen, turn down your volume. Turn down the volume immediately! She can't be stopped! There's something wrong with her!""

"Madonna: "I am a sick fuck I have my nose in everybody's sex life!""

"Straight men need to be emasculated. I'm sorry. They all need to be slapped around. Women have been kept down for too long. Every straight guy should have a man's tongue in his mouth at least once."

"Then there are guys who say 'I have never fantasized about being with a man.' They are lying. And the least offensive men I've been with in terms of their sexual politics and how they view me as a woman, have been men who have either slept with men, or at least kissed or held a man once. It opens up your thinking. You don't think that women are less-than you are."

"My pussy has nine lives."

"A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."

"I think I have a dick in my brain. I don't need to have one between my legs."

"Christopher Ciccone:"

"Guy Ritchie:"

"Joe Henry: "I've known her since I was 15 and she was 17, longer than I've known my wife. We have had a great relationship, and part of that was because I never needed anything from her. I recognised that we were in two different occupations. Not to disparage one ounce of her musicality, I was always of the belief that her persona was her career. Whether she was making a movie or writing a song or punching a photographer, it was all pushing a persona forward, and that was the real body of work. I was never tempted to slip a song to her at thanksgiving.""

"Sean Penn:"

"William Orbit: "You know, she hasn't shouted about her musical abilities, but she is the consummate songwriter. She listens to classic musicals a lot. Not just the obvious ones, like Singin' in the Rain, but the lesser ones. I remember one time we all had dinner in Germany, and somebody brought up old musicals, and she was the one who knew all the verses. And she writes really solid, melodic stuff like that.""

"Sting: "She's outrageous, she's provocative, she's inscrutable. And over the years, we've all been witnessed to her evolution, from street smart kid sister to virgin bride, from sex goddess to a yogi. Her mind is as celebrated as her body, she's as feared as she's desired, she leads while others follow... A woman who is all woman, and all women." ."

"Janet Jackson: "I think she's done wonderful things. She's done great things in her career, in her life, and more power to her."HX magazine March 2008"

"Mary J. Blige: "I don't think the music business, as far as females, would be anything without Madonna.""

"Tupac Shakur: "I was letting people dictate who should be my friends. I felt like because I was this big Black Panther type of nigga, I couldn't be friends with Madonna. And so I dissed her, even though she showed me nothing but love. I felt bad, because when I went to jail, I called her and she was the only person that was willing to help me.""

"Marilyn Manson: "I watched a screening of her [Madonna's] film and I was sitting right next to her, which to me was exciting still. I’m not jaded enough to not be excited by that.""

"Sinéad O'Connor: "I love her, I adore her and I respect her. I pity her for all the analysis she has to put up with.""

"Cyndi Lauper:"

"Mirwais: "Once I collaborated with the Queen Bee, whoever came after her seemed a little boring to me! Many came to ask me to produce tracks, from Depeche Mode to Jennifer Lopez, but I said no to all of them!""

"DJ Enferno: "She has so much knowledge– she’s been in the business for so long, she’s got so many good ideas, and she’s really witty, that was one surprising thing that I found out about her. She’s really sharp and she’ll kind of bust your chops a little bit.""

"Seymour Stein: "I was in the hospital, I had her come see me in the hospital, we talked a deal in the hospital and we did the deal in the hospital. Within days, even before I got out of the hospital, she was starting to record what became her first single, Everybody, and we were off and running. I saw her staunch determination and I knew she would work as hard as I did and much harder, in fact. And that's what you need in an artist. She worked harder than anybody. I just saw her perform in Berlin, and she still works harder than anybody." ."

"Shakira: "I admire Madonna because she always did whatever she felt like doing. She went through some controversial periods when people rejected her, but she kept on reinventing herself." ."

"Lenny Kravitz: "She's a genius, she can do no wrong." VH1 Behind The Music."

"Daddy G.: "Working with Madonna is something to tell to your grandsons.""

"DJ Gordon Edge: "She is very natural. I did not get to know her as a person but she is down-to-earth and straightforward. She just speaks her mind.""

"Donna Summer: "I was sitting around thinking I should do something. I was thinking about design school. A friend said, 'Are you out of your mind? Do an album.' But I like privacy and I like my space. I like being with my family. You have to be in the right frame of mind. You can't be like 'Don't touch me.' to your fans or saying 'I don't want to sign autographs.' I think I was exhausted for a lot of years. I have to take my hat off to people like Madonna. They keep doing it." ."

"Ayumi Hamasaki: "I really like Madonna. What I admire is she's made it on her own terms." ."

"Beyoncé: "I love Madonna. I do! Definitely. It all works for Madonna. I mean, I couldn’t do a lot of the things she does, but it works for her. I watched the "Human Nature" music video for the "Check On It" video even though it didn't come out anything like it. I wanted to do something like that but we didn't have time to do it because it was just a 12-hour shoot.""

"Sean Combs: "I'd like to do something with Madonna in Malawi. I see what she does and I think it's fantastic. I'd like to help in any way I can.""

"Ricky Martin: "I know Madonna as a mother, and she’s exemplary, the love she gives her kids is a dream, and I know that her heart is big enough to adopt not just one child but to adopt 20." ."

"Bono: "Madonna should be applauded for helping to take a child out of the worst poverty imaginable and giving him a better chance in life. Baby David is lucky to have been adopted by someone who can give him a chance of survival in this world and I don't think it's fair that people are criticizing her.""

"Melanie Brown: "It's easy for critics to knock celebrities who choose to adopt, but it's a good thing that Madonna's doing. Not only is she highlighting the plight of orphans in Africa, she's also giving this little girl the chance of a better life." ."

"Britney Spears:"

"Jon Bon Jovi: "Madonna has been incredibly important to the 1980s, musically... a little disco queen who... became an icon." (1990)."

"Alice Cooper: "Look at Madonna; she did all the outrageous stuff, but she could sing. She was a great performer! If she got up there and she couldn't sing a lick, I'd go, 'Ok, this is a sideshow.' But, she can really sing.""

"The Androids:"

"Robbie Williams:"

"Darren Hayes:"

"What impressed me most? Her stamina, dedication and perfection. Her precision and respect for her body and the craft. What an icon! What a role model for women! I bow down to the one I truly serve!!"

"Justin Timberlake:"

"George Michael:"

"Liz Phair: "Madonna is the speedboat, and the rest of us are just the Go-Go's on water skis." ."

"Cher: "She could afford to be a little more magnanimous and a little less of a cunt.""

"Kylie Minogue: "Madonna's the Queen of Pop, I'm the princess. I'm quite happy with that.""

"Timbaland: "Madonna's a funky lady, she's up for everything." ."

"Christophe Willem: "In music, the one who has reached the tops, it's Madonna.""

"Damon Gough:"

"Sophie Ellis-Bextor:"

"Susanna Hoffs: "I think she's really great. I respect and admire her and think she's really talented." (From the book "Madonna talking" by Mick St. Michael)."

"Eugene Hutz:"

"Marc Almond: "It was a hell-hole. There were prostitutes upstairs, junkies downstairs and it was a bare room with a bed, nylon sheets, and a kitchenette with dirty plates and a lamp. I’ve always felt ashamed she stayed in such a pit. If I’d known in 1983 how big she’d become, I'd have cut up the sheets and sold them on ebay.""

"Tom Meighan: "Ooh, Madonna’s thighs! She reminds me of my old dance teacher, who I used to have a crush on. Who didn’t have a huge crush on Madonna when they were a kid? "I’d marry her. If she came for me, I really would.""

"Don McLean: "Madonna is a colossus in the music industry and she is going to be considered an important historical figure as well. She is a fine singer, a fine songwriter and record producer, and she has the power to guarantee success with any song she chooses to record. It is a gift for her to have recorded 'American Pie.'I have heard her version and I think it is sensual and mystical. I also feel that she's chosen autobiographical verses that reflect her career and personal history. I hope it will cause people to ask what's happening to music in America. I have received many gifts from God but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess.""

"Peter Hook: "Madonna's like a Black Widow spider. She tends to use people, then they shrivel up and disappear. She sat there with her back to us, and Rob went up and said, 'We were wondering if you wanted to appear later at the club', and she just went, 'Fuck off.'""

"Steve Bray: "If people feel exploited by Madonna - that's resentment of someone who's got drive. It seems like you're leaving people behind or you're stepping on them, and the fact is you're moving and they're not... Madonna doesn't care if she ruffles someone's feathers.""

"Pet Shop Boys: "Madonna always looks ahead, both for looks and sounds, just like we do.""

"Fran Healy: "I had a massive crush on Madonna when I was a kid, I mean it was huge. It was worrying. I just thought she was amazing.""

"Dave Grohl: "...It could be Madonna, if she wants to come do a couple of shots of Jagermeister with her friend Dave she's more than welcome to come into the room and I'll pour her some chilli shots of whisky, it'll be great!""

"Kim Gordon: "She's strong, beautiful and a manipulator. Qualities which makes her to write great songs.""

"Stephen Malkmus: "She doesn't seem to run out of ideas, does she. I used to love her when I was 14 or so. I had a regular crush on her. I couldn't swear if it was her music that fascinated me, or the generous cleavage. But yeah, she was hot." ."

"Pat Boone: "[Madonna's] a talented tart.""

"Natasha Bedingfield: "I have so much respect for Madonna after learning how hard it is to sing ["Ray of Light"]. She has an amazing voice - the range you need to sing the song is incredible.""

"Annie Lennox: "Lo and behold, Madonna's track came back and she'd sung the second verse, which was a huge bonus. I was really touched - for Madonna is very rigorous in what she gets involved in and for her to do that for me, I was thrilled to bits." ."

"Ludacris: "Madonna was so low key and so incognito that I hardly noticed her, and when I did it kinda caught me by storm. But honestly speaking, she's a really down to earth, really cool individual. I'm glad I got a chance to meet her – rub some of that energy off!""

"Fergie: "Oh MADONNA! You know, I saw her after her concert and I wanted to give her some positive words but I didn't want to talk too much to her because I understand what it feels like after a show when there's a lot of people in the room who want to see you. I wanted to give her some kind words but I didn't want to take up her time. I really wanted to ask her some more questions but I doubt it would have been as exciting for her as it was for me! But if I ever got the chance to sit down with her I think I'd want to ask her some advice questions and I would love to collaborate with her. That would be amazing.""

"Gwen Stefani:"

"Donna De Lory:"

"Mika: "Believe me, if I got asked to work with her, I certainly wouldn’t turn it down. Of all the women I’m fascinated by, she’s certainly up there.""

"Stuart Price:"

"You don't produce Madonna, you collaborate with her. She's a really good producer herself and obviously a great writer too. I've never worked with anyone before who is as genuine and as hands on as an artist as Madonna is. She's has her vision and knows how to get it. What's interesting with this one is that she's picked a DJ to make dance tunes for her to make songs, which is exactly what she's been doing since 1983 - hanging out with DJ's and making records."

"Ciara: "She's a tough lady! She's a megastar, and that [media scrutiny] goes with the territory, But she's definitely put her foot down as a woman over the years and she's proven to be one of the best to me.""

"Ashanti: "Yeah, Madonna is ill. All the clamps and chains people had on what women can and cannot do — she just broke them. And I really wasn’t up on Madonna until my cousin — who’s six years older than me and my favorite relative on the planet; we’re more like sisters — when I was eight or nine I said, ‘Why you got these posters of that white lady all over your room?’ She's like, ‘This is Madonna!’""

"Pharrell: "She's a little baby tiger cub on the inside but outside she's as tough as anything. Once you are fighting with her you can't let your guard down, she'd beat your ass to a pulp. She could definetely beat me up. But you know, making Madonna cry has just cemented our relationship. We're tight now. Seriously tight. She's probably the best person I've ever collaborated with." (Manchester Free Magazine)"

"Danja: "She was cool. She had a dark sense of humor that I can’t explain. She might just say something crazy that you might feel is out of line. But it’s not. It’s just her sense of humor. She was in the studio chilling with us, being open and the whole nine." ."

"Eric West: "A lot of people make her out to be arrogant, and not fan friendly, but I can say otherwise, for such a superstar, she makes you feel as if you’re talking to an old friend.""

"Adam Lambert:"

"Tracy Chapman: "I was trying to make a case for Madonna the other day, saying that she's to be admired for her longevity in a genre that has mostly been for younger acts. Men are able to sustain a career into their 50s and 60s and still present themselves as sex symbols. With women on the other hand, people say, 'Why doesn't she retire?' It's just so unfair. So I have to give props to Madonna.""

"Randy Jackson: "Madonna knows the business and her art better than anyone.""

"Kim Wilde: "I had the top of the charts two years before Madonna came on the scene and stole my thunder. I remember seeing her and thinking, 'Here's trouble'! I'd be lying if I said it didn't get to me, but I never disliked her. And I look at her now and think she's amazing. When I started doing yoga, I was inspired to look after my body. Now I love going for long walks, eating healthily and working out with a trainer.""

"Belinda Carlisle:"

"Simon Cowell:"

"Katy Perry:"

"Randy Newman: "I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear." ."

"Marina Diamandis:"

"Jason Derulo:"

"Craig David: "Madonna is still sexy and cool. She’s had such an amazing career and has always been able to re-invent herself time and time again, and it’d be fascinating to chat to her about that over a couple of drinks.""

"Bette Midler: "She has pulled herself up by her own bra-straps... and has been known to let them down occasionally"."

"Carole King: "I think Madonna has a great deal of intelligence and capability. I have a lot of respect for her. She's taken her career and maximized it with intelligence and creativity." ."

"Matthew Bellamy: "Ambition - whenever I hear the word, in my head, all I can think of is Madonna, for some reason. Very ambitious person and a great artist, certainly explores many avenues to get her name out there. I think she’s a very special lady.""

"David Foster:"

"Taylor Momsen:"

"Jessica Simpson: "I think people are ready to hear something that Madonna used to do. We all need to hear that every now and again. It wasn't a sample or something I meant to do, but she did influence me and still does today. I hope to have the longevity of her career."."

"Tracy Young:"

"Christian Thielemann: "I find this woman fascinating. Not just musically... I’d like to get to know Madonna a whole lot better." ."

"John Benitez: "My first impression on meeting Madonna? I thought she had a lot of style. And she crossed over a lot of boundaries 'cos everyone in the rock clubs played her, the black clubs, the gay, the straight... and very few records have that appeal." ."

"Kurt Cobain: "In a way I respect Madonna for the things she introduced because she introduced some subversive things and it has nothing to do with sex as far as I'm concern, I'm talking about the introduction to the vogue dance which originated in the gay clubs in 80', and she was always supportive of stuff like that which I think is really cool.""

"Shirley Manson: "I turned round and it's Madonna, and I'm thinking, 'Fucking hell, it's Madonna!' But I say 'hi' and she grabs my hand and she gives me the famous blink and says, 'I think you're amazing' in that tiny voice she has. And I'm thinking, 'OK, try and be cool, this is possibly the biggest pop icon of our life, be cool'. I tried to say something even remotely understandable and instead just garbled my words. I had high heels on and I hardly ever wear high heels, and I lurched towards her, and I could see the alarm on her face, thinking 'who the hell is this?' And I lurched off flustered without even saying goodbye. I always blow my big moments" ."

"Kelly Osbourne: "I've always been a huge, huge, huge fan of Madonna, but it completely changed my whole opinion of her -- made me like her even more once I met Lola because she's done a fantastic job with her. Madonna is one of my idols and my first single I ever released was a cover of 'Papa Don't Preach.' To have it come full circle -- now I'm actually doing something with her and her daughter -- it's just kind of like... ahhh!"""

"Lady Gaga:"

"Paul Oakenfold: "Madonna was without doubt one of the best artists I have ever worked with. She had so many fantastic ideas and really took her music seriously. You can tell that with Madonna, everything is about the music. She's a global name but still works tirelessly in the studio, puts on her best possible live gigs and puts 100 per cent into everything she does. "She's really grounded too and easy to work with.""

"Brooke Candy: "She's so smart, I want to follow in her footsteps.""

"Alison Goldfrapp:"

"Marlene Dietrich: "I played vulgar, she is vulgar." (Marlene refused to meet Madonna, who wanted to remake The Blue Angel in the 80s.)"

"Ashton Kutcher: "Madonna has a project in Malawi where she has genuinely affected the lives of about 250,000 children who are orphaned. I think that's a pretty generous person, not someone who should be criticized. That sort of generosity is pretty admirable.""

"James Franco: "After our kiss, Sean texted Madonna and said, 'I just popped my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don't know why.' " Out magazine."

"Tony Ward:"

"Susan Sarandon: "The history of women in popular music can, pretty much, be divided into before and after Madonna." ."

"George Clooney: "She's probably everybody's high watermark about learning how to reinvent yourself every few years and continue to stay alive. She without a question the absolute best at that. And she's nice, I like her; she's a friend. She's seems to handle things really well; people can be really tough on you on & off at times and she seems very good at handling it.""

"Warren Baetty: "Madonna is simultaneously touching and more fun than a barrel of monkeys. She's funny and she's gifted in so many areas and has the kind of energy as a performer that can't help but make you engaged.""

"Ethan Hawke: "She transcended being a pop star. She drew international attention and shone the spotlight on a level of racism and the need for greater education.""

"Dita Von Teese: "Madonna is the only modern celebrity who is truly a style icon. Who else has the audacity to dress like her these days? She really influenced how I wanted to look when I was growing up, and made me realize that I didn’t have to look like a blond beach bunny or a Playboy model.""

"Esther Rantzen: "I do get very surprised by the venom that I hear about [the] Kaballah [Centre]. I think part of it is Madonna-envy. It's also about money. People have this feeling that Kaballah Centres make a lot of money. And there is a traditional aspect too in that kaballah is meant to be a secret for married Jewish men. The idea that unmarried Jewish women could learn the secrets is seen as blasphemy.""

"Tom Hardy: "When we had a break Guy asked if I'd like to meet the wife as she was in the car park and he knew I was a fan. So off we trotted. To be honest, I had the shock of my life. There she was in the back of her Range Rover administering a shot of B12 into the arse of Gerald Butler. Believe me. I was completely stunned to be quite honest, stunned - I mean to throw open the door and see that... I knew it would be magnificent to meet her because she's cult - I mean like Elvis - but the last thing I expected to see was her giving Gerard a shot in his bare arse because he wasn't very well. She does it for her dancers, she's trained doing it, so she decided to do it for the actors as well. She was so cool. She just said to Gerard, 'There you go - bosh! That does it.' And while she was doing that she was talking to me about a load of books I should be reading. I was really thrown." [http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=7&entry_id=19888"

"Gerard Butler: "She was awesome. She was very, very cool. She played a bit of nurse to me, because I got sick in the middle of the film. She turned up with all these medications. In fact, the first day I met her, she was like, 'So you're the sick one. Take this, take this, take this.' The infection was in my throat and chest and I was really run down. Madonna thought the whole thing out and helped me get better." ."

"Benjamin Bratt: "Madonna is one of the only people in the world that can make a straight woman become gay, or a gay man become straight." ."

"David Tennant: "She's quite extraordinary. When I was 14, the first single I ever bought was "Like a Virgin". She was kind of my sexual awakening. I had some full-on posters of her on my wall. I don't know what my parents thought. She still looks damn fit.""

"Miley Cyrus: "Madonna always reinvents herself, and that's what I want to do. Whatever comes my way that sounds good, that's what I want to do. Whether it's designing clothes or photography or whatever.""

"Dakota Fanning: "I got to meet her one time and she’s so beautiful in person. I’ve never seen her in concert but I would love to, on her tour. But she’s amazing and I hope that she goes for many, many more years." ."

"Hilary Duff: "Oh, [I'm] definitely [a fan]. I grew up listening to Madonna. It feels surreal getting to do a cover of "Material Girl". It's such a great dance song.""

"Glenn Close:"

"Susan Seidelman: "She is an incredibly disciplined person. During the shoot [of Desperately Seeking Susan] we'd often get home at 11 or 12 at night and have to be back on the set by 6 or 7 the next morning. Half the time the driver would pick Madonna up at her health club. She'd get up at 4:30 in the morning to work out first." ."

"Andy Bird:"

"Trudie Styler: "Oh, God! Yes, I had a sense that they'd really like each other and really complement each other and I think they do - they're fantastic parents, and they sparkle when they're together. But I'm not a kiss and tell!""

"Ricki Lake: "I love that Madonna adopted this baby and has brought so much attention to Malawi. She's my hero." ."

"Emanuela Rossi: "I'm a big fan of Madonna, I love her music a lot. I like her persona, her ways to reinvent herself, not being the same all the time. I think it's vital and creative for an artist to look for new ways, new looks, different ways to sing but at the same time keeping those qualities that make you unique. Madonna is also a controversial artist that tends to amaze people in every possible way and the same time I think she's a very authentic person. She looks very visceral to me, also in her quests. She has become quite sophisticated over the years but she stays true to herself and still capable to push people's buttons. I think that's the key of her success.""

"Rosie O'Donnell:"

"Will Smith: "Madonna is in really good shape. I actually get a sexy chill every time I think about Madonna.""

"Al Pacino: "She was doing a dance and she was naked under her coat. Over the course of the dance, she became inspired and opened her coat, and there she was. She has an extraordinarily beautiful body, like cut out of ivory. One day, when I'm old and I'm wheeled out on my porch wrapped in a blanket, if I have a beatific smile on my face, I'll probably be thinking of that." [http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=7&entry_id=8532"

"Rupert Everett: [http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=2396048&page=1"

"Gwyneth Paltrow:"

"Helen Mirren: "The thing that was imposed on me from the outside was crude and vulgar and distressful to me, and disturbing - that big tits, blonde hair, Diana Dors, blowsy kind of thing. (But) I think Madonna got it right. Madonna claimed it for herself, and I've always admired her for that. I loved that 'Sex' book she did. I thought it was fantastic, because it was a big two fingers up, 'This is my sexuality, it's not what you put on me, it's mine'.""

"Ricky Gervais: "The Mercer. It's just nice. Really cool. I turned up there last time, and there were about 20 paparazzi going, 'Ricky,' 'Ricky,' 'Ricky.' And I said, 'What are you doin' here?' 'We're here to see you.' I said, 'What [are] you really here for?' And they went, 'Madonna.' They were nice, but I knew the truth. Why would they be there for me?" ."

"Anthony LaPaglia: "I jokingly refer to Madonna being my template in making my decisions, because she’s the best at reinventing herself. Every two years she reinvents herself. [That's why] she still is where she is after 20 years. I think that that’s a smart thing.""

"Charlotte Gainsbourg: "Madonna was incredibly quick and professional. I was unable to say anything else than 'Hello','I’ll listen to it' and 'Good-bye' [when she asked to use a few lines from "The Cement Garden" for her song, "What it Feels Like for a Girl"]. That was incredibly stupid of me. Madonna was the idol of my youth and I grew up listening to her music.""

"Richard E. Grant:"

"Alan Parker: "She worked out her moves in the mirror the night before we’d shoot. She would work so hard. She was not someone who went out clubbing every night. She was the one who said, ‘I want to be there at 5.30 in the morning so I have enough time to get the hair and make-up right.’ So before the crew had even arrived, she would be there. By the time she arrived at the set she was smiling and she did her job. And she did her job brilliantly." ."

"Jon Lovitz:"

"Susan seidelman: "She's the kind of person that really does get up at five in the morning to go swimming. She wasn't at all prima donna-ish. She wasn't one of those people that want to be alone and sit in their trailer the whole time. I think she has much more of a sense of humor that people give her credit for. Too many people take that femme fetale stuff at face value." ."

"Sarah Jessica Parker:"

"Ellen Pompeo:"

"Kelly Ripa: "I think she's used to people gushing over her and all of that, but I think she quickly sort of came to realize that yes, in fact I do go to every concert. The last concert she did, we made eye contact. Okay, in my mind it was eye contact. Madonna has no recollection, but I know she stared at me. There's something about her. I think she's very clever and witty. She's really funny. She's really down to earth when she's here. And I just love that about her. And I love looking at her because she's a physical specimen. ."

"Debi Mazar:"

"Alicia Silverstone: "I'd die if I was Madonna. I'd die. God, what a horrible way to live. And Michael Jackson! To be so famous and to feel so isolated. I feel so bad for them. I don't know how it feels, and I hope it never happens to me." ."

"Mike Myers: "It was terrifying, It was like kissing the Eiffel Tower in terms of how famous she is." [about making out with Madonna for tv skit]"

"Pedro Almodóvar: "When she came with her Blond Ambition tour I prepared a dinner for her, and that little thief didn’t tell us that everything she was recording was going to be part of her film. Madonna was asking for Antonio Banderas’ phone number all the time, because she wanted to screw him and I never gave it to her. When she went out jogging she always had her six bodyguards and I told her: 'Madonna, babe, this kind of things are not very attractive here in Spain.' In this country, that thing about bodyguards is like an offense, nobody is going to shoot Madonna or whoever in Spain. But in United States bodyguards seem to be, like a part of the body of the star. She asked me if I didn't have bodyguards and I said 'I would only have them to fuck them'.""

"Quentin Tarantino:"

"Rachel Weisz: "I think Madonna’s amazing. She constantly reinvents herself and I just went to see her art show in New York the other day and that was great.""

"Rex Lee: "Remember when Madonna was first on American Bandstand and she told Dick Clark she wanted to rule the world? Well I don't want to rule the world, but I want to make my mark on the world... You know what? I'm lying. I do want to rule the world.""

"Tom Cruise: "I've known Madonna for years. I really admire her." ."

"Michael C. Hall: "I caught Madonna live in Miami last year. It was a kick ass show; truly amazing. Her stage presence left me speechless, I just loved it." ."

"Tim Vincent: "I get to meet some very, very beautiful ladies through my job. Madonna is very sexy and she really flirted with me, which was amazing.""

"Rosanna Arquette: "It suddenly just exploded overnight; you know, she was everywhere. And they started kind of rewriting the script for that, to tailor-make it for her in those moments. And here she is, still at it. She's 50 years old – almost 50 and rocking on. I think that's great.""

"Denise Richards: "You feel lazy watching her because you gotta get off your butt and just work, [She] is really an inspiration for everyone.""

"Anthea Turner: "I've got a huge amount of respect for Madonna - she's often labeled a control freak but she's just a perfectionist. There's a difference between looking tacky and artistic, and I think Madonna looks incredible. You can celebrate your body whatever age you are - there's no limit." ."

"Nathan Rissman: It was amazing working with Madonna. She does everything 100 per cent, and so to be involved in what she was doing, for her to let me go forward and make this project was amazing. She's been involved creatively on every aspect. She knows pictures, she knows sound, she's really, really good. The most memorable thing about working with Madonna is seeing her in the village - seeing her really letting go of that celebrity status, really spending time with people, getting her feet dirty, and dancing, singing and crying with people. It was amazing to see her take on that new character. Madonna really wanted to bring some awareness to Malawi, and she really believed in me."

"Malin Akerman: "I got ice cream cones and put them on my boobs. I wanted to be just like her.""

"Lindsay Lohan:"

"Emmanuelle Seigner: "I like her boss and ultra-feminist side. I hate the concept of "femme-objet", and the idea that women are still maltreated in certain parts of the world irritates me.""

"Toby Kebbell: "She's gorgeous. A lovely, stunning woman.""

"Michael Parkinson: "She turned out to be so bright, frank and funny it made you wonder what the previous debate had been about. Hers is an extraordinary story of determination and hard work and the perfect antidote to the celebrity pap fed to today's wannabes. Anyone wanting to succeed in the music business, or indeed any other business, should watch the interview and learn what it really takes to get to the top." ."

"Stephen Jon Lewicki: "That woman has more sensuality in her ear than most women have anywhere on their bodies." ."

"Michael Moore:"

"Andrea Riseborough:"

"Natalie Dormer: "Madonna is a woman of great vision and passion and focus - she is a force to be reckoned with, as you would imagine and she has a brilliant eye.""

"Christoph Waltz: "It was fantastic (partying with Madonna). Everyone was there. I fought my way through because I mean, this is the hostess, the least I can do is thank her for the invitation. It was difficult, it took me about an hour and a half... In the end, I got there, and apparently I was standing right in front of her. You know, I looked for Madonna and there was this chick dancing, 'Where's Madonna?' (pointing at the girl). That was her, she was dancing like... I thought she was, you know, 23-24.""

"David Fincher: "Madonna is my Vatican. She’s my Sistine Chapel.""

"Marcia Cross: "We used to swim at the same pool. She’d get out and put all this jewelry on - and I’d go home with my wet hair.""

"Julia Roberts: “I got her new album – it`s amazing,” she says. “I really respect and admire her.”"

"Bert Stern: "Madonna is gorgeous, the most beautiful eyes you ever saw. A little rough around the edges. She's a tough chick. She spits it out. She has her own agenda. It manifests in the pictures." ."

"Dolce & Gabbana:"

"Christian Audigier: "She is really all about the detail. She knows exactly what she likes and is always proposing ideas to us. After that she decides whether she wants to add shoes or other things. She's like me, when it's a, 'Yes,' it's a big, 'Yes.' When it's a, 'No,' it's a definite, 'No!' I like people like that, a lot of people are really critical but never give a solution. She is not like that.""

"Jean-Baptiste Mondino: "She's John Lennon and Yoko Ono at the same time". ."

"Donatella Versace:"

"Amy Arbus: "Madonna just wandered along like everyone else. I recognized her as the girl who went to my gym — as the girl who would sit around naked longest in the locker room. Now that I think back on it, how could either of us have afforded a gym membership? She still had a last name at that point, and when I told her I worked for the Voice, she said, 'Oh, that’s so funny. They’re reviewing my first single this week.' I recently looked back—it only took six frames to get that picture. I just think the look on her face is so prescient—it really has a sense of knowing what’s in store for her.""

"Frida Giannini: "Meeting Madonna for the very first time was a shock. She was a myth to me. She was the first poster I hung on my room's wall when I was 14. And then I found herself in front of me, shook her hand. Her immense mediatic power still impresses me. Only to mention that the laminated jacket we made in twelve different versions for her last tour ended up being one of the season's best-sellers would be enough.""

"Jean-Paul Gaultier:"

"Jenny Shimizu:"

"Lee Friedlander: "[She] seemed very confident, a street-wise girl. She told me she was putting a band together but half the kids that age are doing that. She was a good professional model.""

"Marc Jacobs"

"Natassia Malthe: "I'm a fan of Madonna's. I've followed her since I was 10. I'm a huge fan of hers - which woman isn't? She's such a strong person, she's just so different from anybody else. She's sustained herself in this business. I go to everything that is Madonna, she is just an amazing human being.""

"Steven Klein: "[Madonna] is very clear, surprisingly focused in conceiving innovative pictures. When you think about it you never see her back, you rarely see anyone's back in a photograph and it's fascinating to show its muscular structure". ."

"Fabian Baron: "She's very imposing and knows what she wants. She's very informed and opinionated, which makes her genius. She takes you in and swallows you up—and you don't mind it, you actually enjoy it. There's an unspoken seduction that goes on. I was young, She was young, too, and beautiful. She knows what she's doing. And such drive. Some people want to lift stones and see what's under it. She'll be on a beach with millions of stones and want to lift every one of them.""

"Herb Ritts: "I've always said that if you didn't know Madonna necessarily, you'd still be curious about the woman in the photograph.""

"Gregory David Roberts: "She was so unfussy. I think the thing about Madonna is that she's tremendously intelligent. She's fiercely intelligent; she's very sharp, very funny, very witty, very quick and will not accept second best. She will pick you up immediately in a conversation and defend her position and will put it forward with a rigorous intelligence. I think it's intimidating to a lot of people - I love it! For me it can't get any better than that, so I loved that about her, but I do think a lot of people are intimidated by her and reading it as something that it's not. It's simply a fierce intelligence. She's one of the smartest people you could ever meet.""

"Jeffrey Fulvimari: "There is only one thing to do with someone as special as Madonna....celebrate her. She told us so in one of her very first songs! But, mostly, she gives us something more to adore every year, and aside from making huge hits, her work in Malawi is something for everyone to emulate. Working with her is a dream come true!!! She has Never ever treated me in any other way but professionally, and with respect. I mean, gosh when the Queen of Pop loves what you do, there's no better feeling!! I really concentrate on the fact that these books are bringing a better life to those most in need in the world, and until more celebrities (and celebrity photographers) step up and do the charitable works she is doing, they cannot speak an ill word about her. People need to stop copying her videos and performances, and copy what really means the most to her...'Raising Malawi'! That's what it's all about!""

"Lucy O'Brien:"

"Paulo Coelho: "Today is late Sunday and I just returned from the show of Madonna. And what did I see? A young 50 year-old dancing like a child, a queen, a teenager. It got me thinking about the fact that I believe we are aging differently from the previous generations. I remember for instance my parents at the age of 50 and they were already old, and more importantly they considered themselves as already old.""

"Christopher Flynn: "She was kind of far-out. One of the best students I've ever had, a very worldly sort of woman even as a child. We would go to gay bars, and she and I would go out and dance our asses off. People would clear away and let her go." ."

"Camille Barbone:"

"Bernard Manning: "Madonna? Lovely. Oh yes. Nice skin. You could tell she wasn't a scrubber." ."

"Sandra Bernhard: "...I run into [Madonna] all the time, so it's not like there's any irresolvable strangeness. I like to think of the time when we were hanging out as the end of an era. We played out our friendship in the public forum, but it wasn't drunken or irresponsible airheads hanging out - she's a smart lady and I'm obviously my own brand of intellectual." ."

"Jonathan Ross: "Madonna, the original MILF.""

"Carlton Wilborn:"

"Sofia Boutella: "Amazing. It was really hard work, but it has helped me to know myself a little bit more, I really like Madonna because she is a tireless worker.""

"Criss Angel: "Madonna is a tremendous example of someone who went to NY with couple of dollars in her pocket and an enormous dream to conquer the world. She did whatever she had to do until she hit the big time. I admired her commitment and determination. She clearly understood what her market wanted in a performer. She's a great example of someone who developed a unique style, look, and brand and then marketed herself as a total package, filling a void that everyone else bought in to and tried to copy. She's an innovative genius.""

"Dennis Rodman: Bad as I Wanna Be"

"Florence Foresti:"

"Jamie King: "She's confident, sensual and strong, but I like to bring out her vulnerability as well.""

"Yuki Matsumoto: "Madonna inspires creativity and expressions beyond gender, religion, race, nationality, culture and all borders. "Madonna’s philosophy and originality always invigorates the world audience every time she produces a new album. Conventions and trends are challenged and redefined for the new values. "Madonna is in sync with nature and balances her lifestyle to achieve her best physical and mental conditions. Her ever innovative spirits are in tune with her respect of nature. Despite her celebrity and never ending professional activities, Madonna always says FAMILY FIRST. Love and respect for all those who are dear to her are the most important values in life.""

"Church of England:"

"Jorge Medina, Cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church"

"Nicolas Sarkozy: "The French like burgers, Madonna and Miami Vice." ."

"Al Gore: "I appreciate and respect her as an artist and as a person." ."

"Dr. Peter van Ham: "NATO should follow the Madonna-curve, and not wait till its controversies escalate into public wrangles. The argument that tinkering on the edges will do since all challenges can be dealt with one at a time simply does not hold. To be successful, NATO needs a package-deal of painful compromises, where each member state has to give and take. This requires a comprehensive reform effort which only a new strategic concept offers. The quality of adapting to new tasks whilst staying true to one’s own principles is something which business analysts qualify as the Madonna-curve. This curve is named after the legendary pop-diva who reinvented herself each time her style and stardom went into inevitable decline, but whose audacity has lifted her up to ever higher levels of relevance and fame." ."

"Pipe bands greeted the Queen and the Queen mother when they visited us and a few people turned out. But everybody appeared to see this woman Madonna. She had them all in the palm of her hand."

"I think she glows, she's an amazing performer and her work inspires me. There will be no other Madonna." (From the book "Madonna talking" by Mick St. Michael)"

"Alex Rodriguez"

"Tracy Anderson:"

"She's a dream pupil; She's very driven, listens to what you say and just wants to do it and improve. You can always get somewhere with someone like that. When I started teaching her she hadn't jumped at all and now she can jump a course of 1.05m. Jumping and hacking are her two favorite things."

"Andre [Recke] and I and my mom worked very hard to really get good music that I related to and was age-appropriate for me and wasn't just cheesy pop stuff."

"There are definitely people I respect and I love their music, but there was never really an artist that I said, "I want to be just like them, I love the way their career is going. I love their music." It wasn't really like that. I wanted to be like myself."

"I love writing, but I feel like you need time to really get in touch with yourself to do that. On [Metamorphosis], I would have liked to have had more time to work with the writers [and] write some more of my own stuff. Hopefully I can do that on my second album."

"I actually didn't want to have control of the writing on my first album. To write, you have to have time to connect with yourself. I don't have that time right now, because I'm so busy."

""Come Clean" is obviously about a boy and a girl's relationship and it's just talking about how somebody thinks they're in the dark. She's tired of it and he's tired of it and they're coming clean, whether it means they're gonna be together or not. They're laying all the cards out on the table and coming out with everything that hasn't been said basically. The video really shows that she's kind of in this monotone mood throughout the whole thing. She doesn't show too much emotion except that she's waiting for this boy, this guy, to come. You can't tell when they're running toward each other if they're gonna kiss or they're gonna hug or they're gonna hit each other. It's a bunch of different emotions."

"Well, I'm not going to be singing about lollipops because I no longer relate to lollipops."

"No, I don't do that [sing about sex]. My music isn't forward like that. It's not sexual the way Britney's music is sexual. She feels comfortable singing about that, and that's fine, but I just don't talk about that kind of stuff, sorry. I just don't."

"...I want the songs I sing to reflect that [I am a regular 16 year old]. Basically, I'm not Lizzie McGuire anymore."

"Compared to the first album, when I wasn't confident enough to make suggestions, this time around, I was very involved. I worked with the songwriters, telling them what was happening in my life, and what I wanted to sing about. If I thought it needed to be more heavy, more rock, I said so. I feel that this record is so much more me. I can't wait for people to hear it."

"Music is so personal to me. I can be myself, and say what I want to say. I feel I'm honest and don't try to hide things. But music enables people to learn about my personality, how I'm evolving. Even if I don't feel comfortable talking about something, I can feel comfortable expressing that same thing through my music."

"What it talks about is stuff that I've gone through, like, in the past year, which is, you know, a lot, and some of it's good, and some of it's bad, and a lot of it's, like, a big learning experience. And I got to write a lot about that with people that I've worked with before, so I felt completely comfortable."

"On the second album I worked with a lot of people that I worked with on the Metamorphosis album. And when I worked on Metamorphosis I was so nervous and shy about going into the studio and working with people, they eventually toward the end made me feel so comfortable and so secure with myself. I loved working with them. I have a great relationship with them. I talk to them [all the time]. When we started talking about the second album, I was like, "I want to work with all the same people." They knew what was going on in my life, what I was going through. I would call them and say, "I feel like this right now. I want a song about this..." I never really felt like I had enough time to write my whole album and I don't know if I'm secure enough with myself to do that. But I wrote three songs on the album, one I wrote with my sister. It's so personal and these people really got what I was going through and how I feel inside. I think that's what makes it good and that's what makes me relate to them."

"So many people think that this album is showing a different side of me, but that's not really what it is. I think it's just more me this time because I got to really do it how I wanted to."

"I love the song ["Haters"]. I wrote it, it was my idea. I think at the time I was feeling like I had to talk so much about my personal life because people make accusations and there are lies and rumors constantly. I think that song really just came to me because I was feeling like people are so negative. They love to read what's coming out next on Page Six [of the New York Post] and I just felt like it was appropriate. I also felt like normal girls could relate to that, what with school and how people backstab each other and talk bad about each other and how much petty stuff goes on."

"Uh oh. I don't think that I can tell who it [the person "Mr. James Dean" references] is, but it was definitely an experience that I went through that was interesting and I learned a lot from that time in my life. I think the song is very funny when I think about it."

"I love the song ["Weird"] too. It is really weird when you listen to the beat and the words. It's about someone that she's still obsessed with. And everything he does is like he says this, but he does this. And he does this but he says this. It's all twisted around and backwards. She's not really sure who he is or what he does, but she likes it."

"When you are under the control of a label, you don't always get to have the sound you like. If I could change it, I would, and it would sound [less pop]. My name is Hilary Duff, and I don't know why I don't get to make Hilary Duff music. I just have to get the freedom to do it, and during the show, I do get to do that: I get to throw away all of the CD stuff that has been mastered and sounds really pretty, and I get to sing live."

"It's more like giving people a taste of what the tour will be like. It's getting people to hear the music to a different sound … We remixed some of the songs so they sound totally different. It's really energetic."

"My sister and I really showed an interest in [performing] and dedication, and [our mother] was like, 'How can I tell my kids no?' It's the same as kids that are going into sports. Parents support them and push them."

"During one scene, I had to do a shooting drill. He put a psychological spin on it."

"I was brought up in a very logical place," said Linz, who had his bar mitzvah at Wilshire Boulevard Temple. "But I think they would [happen]."

"You can't beat white people, you can only knock them out."

"You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips."

"I hope that Live Earth ends global warming the same way the Live Aid ended world poverty."

"Comedy is the blues for people who can't sing."

"Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special."

"Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple – Gwyneth Paltrow."

"The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl.""

"Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judging the singing. Paula Abdul?! Getting Paula Abdul to judge a singing contest is like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!"

"When I heard they were trying and get rid of the word "nigga", I told my accountant to buy 800 shares of "coon"."

"You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz."

"George Bush hates midgets."

"Yo, what's up! This is Chris Rock, and I'm with my man Lil Jon, and we stay in the club! We live in the club! We die in the club! We get our car washed in the club! We go to school in the club! We go to the cleaners in the club! We do everything in the motherfucking club! We go to church in the club! We never leave the motherfucking club! We pay our taxes in the club! We go to library in the club!"

"Black Santa Claus caused more tears than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays."

"They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come."

"Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks"

"[Interviewer asks: "How do you feel like things have changed over the past couple decades?"]<br"

"You would think that cops would occasionally shoot a white kid, just to make it look good. You'd think every couple of months they'd look at their dead nigga calendar and go, "Oh my God, we're up to 16. We gotta shoot a white kid quick." "Uh, which one?" "The first one you see singing Cardi B." That's right. I mean, honestly, I wanna live in a world with real equality. I want to live in a world where an equal amount of white kids are shot every month. An equal world. I want to see white mothers on TV crying. Standing next to Al Sharpton. Talking about, "We need justice for Chad. We need justice for Chad. He was just coming home from racquetball practice.""

"Here's the thing. I know it's hard being a cop. I know it's hard. I know that shit's dangerous. I know it is, OK? But some jobs can't have bad apples. OK? Some jobs, everybody gotta be good. Like— pilots. You know? American Airlines can't be like, "You know, most of our pilots like to land. We just got a few bad apples, that like to crash into mountains. Please bear with us.""

"Jada, I love you. G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it, all right?"

"Oh, wow! Wow! Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me. [...] That was a... greatest night in the history of television, okay."

"Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95."

"A black man failing black history... ain't that some sad shit..... cuz you know, fat people don't fail cooking!"

"People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "red meat will kill you"? Don't eat no red meat? No, don't eat no green meat. If you lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the shit out of it!"

"We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?!"

"That shit wasn't about race &hellip; that shit was about fame. If O.J. wasn't famous, he'd be in jail right now. If O.J. drove a bus, he wouldn't even be O.J. He'd be Orenthal the Bus Driving Murderer."

"So you gotta look at OJ's situation. He's paying $25,000 a month in alimony, got another man driving around in his car and fucking his wife in a house he's still paying the mortgage on. Now I'm not saying he should have killed her... but I understand."

"There's a lot of racism going on. Who's more racist, black people or white people? Black people! You know why? Because we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people. There's some shit going on with black people right now. It's like a civil war going on with black people. And there's two sides, there's black people and there's niggas. The niggas have got to go. Everytime a black person wanna have a good time, ignorant-ass niggas fuck it up. You can't have shit when you got niggas around, you can't have shit. You can't have no big screen TV! You can have it, but you better move it in at 3 in the morning. Paint it white, hope niggas think it's a bassinet. Can't have shit in your house! Why?! Because niggas will break into your house. Niggas will live next door to you break into your house, come over the next day and go, "I heard you got robbed." Nigga, you know you robbed me. You didn't see shit 'cause you was doing shit! You can't go see a movie opening day, you know why? 'Cause niggas is shooting at the screen! What kind of ignorant shit is that? "This movie's so good I gotta bust a cap in here!" You know the worst thing about niggas? Niggas always want credit for some shit they supposed to do. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does. A nigga will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids." You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker! What kind of ignorant shit is that? "I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!"

"Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!""

"Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club."

"I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan! Shit, I'd be doing a drive-by from here to Brooklyn!"

"You know what they say, "There's no reason to ever hit a woman." Shit! There's a reason to hit everybody. You just don't do it. Shit, there's a reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs. You just don't do it. Ain't nobody above an ass-whooping."

"You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma."

"Yo, man. R&B sucks. I mean it's a couple of people that float, but, look, for the most part, the genre sucks. Just a bunch of people singing over rap beats. You don't like a rap record? Sing over it! Everybody talking them label. "Label this, label that!" Hey, Smokey Robinson wasn't singing about Motown! Look, the Isley Brothers wasn't going "T-Neck in the motherfuckin' house". The Jacksons were not singing about Epic because nobody gave a fuck!"

"Hey, this is a joke that I wrote a long time ago. I actually, I really really, wrote this joke. [Following in reverse] So I'm walking down the street, right? And I saw this prostitute, right? And I said, 'How much?' She said, 'For $300, I'll do anything you want.' I said, 'Bitch, paint my house!'"

"Yo, my first choice for the producer of this album was not Prince Paul. It was Roger Troutman and the group Zapp. Let's see how that would have sounded. (The following run through a Talk box): A black man boy said to a Cadillac dealer. And he's looking at some Cadillacs. And the dealer of Zohan says "are you thinking of buying a Cadillac?" And, he says, "No, I'm buying a Cadillac. I'm thinking of pussy... yeah!""

"So, it's last Wednesday, right? I'm chilling' in my house in a pair of and getting ready to watch the game. You know what she had the nerve to say? Exactly! I thought the woman was crazy. But, then, you know what else she wanted me to do? So, I'm in my car, right? "Uh, Chris. I'm gonna tell you something." Nigga, what? You're wanted in 18 states and 2 territories! Nigga, what did you do? With a seal? How the hell you gonna do something like that with a seal? You know, that don't sound too bad. I'll try it with my woman. Like that? Get outta here! With oil? So, I'm dead! Just chilling' in Heaven! With my man Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Biggie, Tupac, Vanilla, my Bu2u, Sam Kinison and there's God. And I'm like, "God, you know everything. I can ask you one question. Who won the game?""

"The Trenchcoat Mafia. "Nobody will play with us, we have no friends, we're the Trenchcoat Mafia." Hell, I saw the yearbook picture, it was six of 'em! I ain't have six friends in high school. I don't got six friends now! Shit, that's 3-on-3 with a half-court!"

"Everybody want to know what the kids was listening to, what kind of music they was listening to, or what kind of movies they was watching. Who gives a fuck what they was watching? Whatever happened to CRAZY?"

"You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? We need some bullet control. We need to control the bullets! That's right. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. $5,000 for a bullet. You know why? Because if a bullet costs $5,000, there would be no more innocent bystanders. Every time somebody gets shot, people would be like, "Damn, he must've did something. Shit, they put $50,000 worth of bullets in his ass!" And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost $5,000. "Man, I would blow your fucking head off ... if I could afford it! I'm gonna get me another job, I'm gonna start saving some money, and you're a dead man! You better hope I can't get no bullets on layaway!""

"See, even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you won't have to go to no doctor to get it out, whoever shot you will take that bullet back! "I believe you got my property!""

"I mean, they don't grade fathers. But if your daughter's a stripper, you fucked up."

"My favorite song right now is impossible to defend. It's impossible. We should all be ashamed of ourselves for liking this fucking song. Lil Jon. You know that shit: "To the window! To the wall! [crowd sings along] 'Till the sweat drip from my balls! Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet!" You go to clubs, you see girls dance to that shit. "Till the sweat drip from my balls! Till the sweat drip from my balls! From my balls! From my balls! My balls! Skeet, Skeet Skeet!" I feel sorry for the guys that gotta pick a wife out of this bunch. It's like, "Daddy, where'd you meet Mommy?" "Oh, she was singing about balls at a club. Skeet, skeet, skeet!""

"Daddy, can we talk?" "Hey, I'm watching the game!" "I'll show you! I'll dance naked to Mötley Crue records! I'm gonna change my name to Cina Buns and I'm gonna wear clear heels!" When did clear heels become the new whore uniform? When did that happen? Was there a big ho convention, and all the hoes got together and said, "We need something new! Something that just says nasty" And one girl said, "I got it! Clear heels!" "Ooh, girl, you disgusting!"

"Women don't care, man. If the beat's all right, she will dance all night! I've seen girls on the floor dancing to the nastiest shit ever made. It's like, "Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick! &hellip; I put a dick in the ear, a dick in the ear! &hellip; Fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye! &hellip; Blind the bitch, blind the bitch, blind the bitch, blind the bitch with cum!""

"If you mention to a woman that the song is disgusting and misogynistic, they all give you the same answer: "He ain't talking 'bout me!" Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick &hellip; He said your name! "No, he didn't!" Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick &hellip;"

"You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club and the sun is out, you got some problems!"

"You know those guys that eat at the strip club? Eat the buffet? How the fuck could you eat in a nasty-ass strip club? What? Are you THAT hungry? Motherfucker, go to Mickey D's or some shit! Not even Rwandan refugees eat that shit! At a damn strip club! Titties and tater tots don't mix!"

"You know the stripper myth? There's a stripper myth that's being perpetuated throughout society. The myth is, I'm strippin' to pay my tuition. No you're not! There's no strippers in college! There's no clear heels in biology! Shit, man, I didn't know they had a college that only took one-dollar bills. And if they got so many strippers at college, how come I never got a smart lap dance? I never got a girl that sat on my lap and said, If I was you, I would diversify my portfolio. You know, ever since the end of the Cold War, I find NATO obsolete!."

"The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body."

"Hey, man don't let all this celebrity garbage fool you. It's all just a trick to get your mind...off...the...war. I think Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room. Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room, Bush sent that little boy to Michael Jackson's house. Bush killed Laci Peterson. Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video. All to get your mind off the war. Bush lied to me, they all lied to me: "We gotta go to Iraq because they're the most dangerous country on Earth. They're the most dangerous regime in the world." If they're so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole fucking country? Shit, man, you couldn't take over Baltimore in two weeks."

"White man makes guns. Big deal, nobody gives a fuck, kids shoot each other at school, nobody gives a fuck. White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "guns"? Congressional hearing. "Oh, my God, that nigga said gun, and he rhymed it with fun"!"

"Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a trickless magician?? Where the fuck's the trick? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat". "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat"!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!"

"Ed Bradley looked at Michael Jackson like he wanted to say, "Nigga, is you crazy?" Like he wanted to take the 60 Minutes clock and push the shit forward to say, "Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?" "I thought you said it was 60 minutes &hellip;" "It's 10 minutes, get outta here! You nutty nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?""

"Black people dominate every physical activity in the United States of America. We're only 10% of the population, we're 90% of the Final Four. Okay? We fucking dominate all this shit! Okay? Basketball, baseball, football, boxing, track- even golf and tennis! And as soon they make a heated hockey rink, we're gonna take that shit, too. Motherfuck Wayne Gretzky. Wait 'till you see LeBron on some skates. You ain't seen shit yet! He just gonna have one skate, chilling. "What's up?" He won't even have a stick, he'll just smack the puck in with his dick. Pow! "Slapshot, bee-otch!""

"That tiger ain't go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on! "Oh, shit! I'm a crazy tiger!""

"A black C student can't do shit with his life. A black C student can't be a manager at Burger King. Meanwhile, a white C student just happens to be the President of the United States."

"Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!"

"R. Kelly's got a lot of balls. Talking about "it ain't me." Got a damn sex tape out; "it ain't me." Motherfucker, we know what you look like. That's you, okay? There's a damn Soul Train award right next to the bed."

"What is on Kobe's mind? Going to Colorado, around all these white people, and not bringing Johnnie Cochran? Well then they say, "well if you hire Johnnie Cochran, you're going to look guilty." Yeah, but you going home! You want to look innocent in jail? I'd rather look guilty at the mall."

"It's hard to defend "I've got hoes in different area codes". It's hard to defend "move, bitch, get out the way!" It's hard to break it down intellectually &hellip; "Well, as you can see, there's a bitch in his way, that he needs to move. Thus the term, "move, bitch, get out the way". You need to open your eyes so you can get the bitches out of your way!""

"You know the only thing you can do to stop your man from cheating? The only thing you can do &hellip; is be there. Where? There! Wherever he's thinking about fucking, that's it. Just be right there. And even then he still might lose your ass. He's like, "Honey, look! A Sale! Let me go fuck this bitch right now!""

"If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!""

"Everybody's so busy wanting to be down with the gang. "I'm conservative", "I'm liberal", "I'm conservative". Bullshit! Be a fucking person! Lis-ten! Let it swirl around your head. Then form your opinion. No normal, decent person is one thing, okay? I've got some shit I'm conservative about, I've got some shit I'm liberal about. Crime, I'm conservative. Prostitution, I'm liberal!"

"Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check &hellip; is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!""

"You know the beautiful thing about the gay marriage issue? It's the absolute only issue that the President will answer. The President don't give a fuck. He will give you a straight answer on gay marriage. "Uh, Mr. President, what about the war? When's it gonna end?" "Well, you never know. We're talking to people, and we're looking for stuff, and we might find it, we might not, and it's out there, we're gonna get it, you never know. How's it going? Yeah!" "Uh, Mr. President, what about the economy, when's it gonna pick up?" "Well, you never know, we're talking to people, and economic indicators indicate that indications are coming to the indicator. You know what I'm saying? All right!" "Uh, Mr. President, what about gay marriage?" "Fuck them faggots!""

"You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere."

"If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love. If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for forty-five minutes straight, you ain't been in love. If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love. And the only thing that's stopped you from killing this motherfucker was a episode of CSI: "Oh man, they thorough. I better make up. They might catch my ass.""

"See... Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!"

"Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say, "FUCK YOU! Fuck your hopes, fuck your dreams, fuck your plans &hellip; fuck everything you thought this life was going to bring to you. Now let's go out there and try to make this bitch happy.""

"Women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them &hellip; "fuck that bitch," "fuck that bitch." Guys are not like that. Guys actually think that there are other fish in the sea, and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, "Oh man, she's nice, I gotta get me a girl like that." If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes, "I gotta get him, and I will slit that bitch's throat to do it." Every girl in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man."

"But here's what they don't tell you. You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something. You can fuck a woman with a diamond dick and make her come ten times, and she'll still complain. "Why did you make me come so hard? This diamond dick is cloudy, why didn't you go to Tiffany's? You're so fucking cheap.""

"What's in the tea?" "Water, bitch!"

"Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up."

"Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain't gonna be at the perfect time. You're married, they're single. That's right. You're Jewish, they're Palestinian. You're a Mexican, they're a raccoon. You're a black woman, he's a black man."

"God will send you a double date with the perfect couple. Have you ever made the mistake of going on a double date with the perfect couple? You're in the middle of your bullshit relationship and you actually sit down with two people that are actually in love. You can't even eat your food cause you can't believe what the fuck you are witnessing. You got a fork in your hand like, "Oh shit! He's really listening to what she's got to say! Wow! They really like being around each other! Man, we can't hang with them no more, they gonna break us up. Can't let these happy motherfuckers fuck up my life!""

"So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America &hellip; but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's trying keep the Feds off her back."

"We can't have gay marriage 'cause marriage is sacred, it happens in the church. Marriage is sacred, it's sacred. No, it's not, not in America, not in a country that watches Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and Who Wants to Marry a Midget. Get the fuck outta here. Shit, Michael Jackson got married, how fucking sacred is that shit?"

"White man makes alcohol. Tastes great, I love it, you love it, we all love it. Kills motherfuckers every single day. Okay? Some of y'all ain't even make it home tonight 'cause of alcohol. You'll be like, "Oh man, that Chris Rock sure is funny, oh! Shit!" But it's all right 'cause it's all white. White man makes Cigarettes, the most dangerous product known to man. Cigarettes are so fucking dangerous it kills motherfuckers that don't smoke, okay? That's how fucking dangerous cigarettes are, okay? Yes, first hand smoke, second hand smoke. People talking out of their necks into a machine like, "Hey, what's up, man, I love cigarettes." But it's all right 'cause it's all white. Could you imagine if the Philip Morris family was a bunch of jheri-curled niggas from Mississippi? Do you know how illegal a pack of cigarettes would be? You would get fifty years just for a carton of Newports. Shit. But it's all right, 'cause it's all white."

"So think about the poor slave who could read, but was scared to teach their kids to read for fear they would be killing their kids. Think about the poor slave that rode to town every week. Think about the poor slave who rode the buggy to town every week. Riding the buggy &hellip; riding the buggy, and he could read, and is riding the buggy and he's riding the buggy. And up ahead he sees a busy intersection, and is riding the buggy and he's riding the buggy. Then he sees a STOP sign &hellip; Now he's in a big dilemma. "If I go through this intersection, I'm a have a accident. If I stop, these crackers will kill me." And he's riding the buggy, and in the last minute he says "fuck it", goes through the intersection, has a big ol' accident. Almost kills somebody. Then the police come: "Nigga, what is wrong with you? Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you? You could have killed somebody, nigga. Didn't see that stop sign?" "Oh, I don't know what you talking about, sir." "You didn't see that stop sign, that stop sign back there?" "Oh, you mean that octagon thing." "Nigga, who taught you octagon?""

"It's beautiful that abortion is legal in America. I love going to abortion rallies to pick up women, 'cause you know they're fucking. You ain't gonna find a bunch of virgins at the abortion rally. You might even see some clear heels!"

"Oh the abortion issue, it's a woman's issue. When a woman get pregnant, she don't want to hear shit from the man. Fuck you, motherfuck you, I don't need you. Unless she decides to have the baby and she's like, "Where my check?""

"When a woman get pregnant, it's an issue between her and her girlfriends. When a woman get pregnant, her and her girlfriends form an abortion tribunal, and they vote on the child like it was Survivor. Then the first girlfriend throws in her two cents: "Child, you should have that baby, that man got some good hair, it's wavy, it's wavy." Then second girlfriend throws in her two cents: "Girl, why are we even talking about this? Ain't we supposed to go to Cancun next weekend? Get rid of that baby." And that's how life is decided in America."

"The number one reason people hate America: the number one reason is because of our religion. Americans worship money, we worship money. Separate God from school, separate God from work, separate God from government, but on your money it says in God we trust. All my life I've been looking for God, and He's right in my pocket. Americans worship money, and we all go to the same church, the church of ATM. Everywhere you look there's a new branch popping up &hellip; remind you about how much money you got and how much money you don't got. And if you got less than twenty dollars, the machine won't even talk to you. The machine is like, "You better go see a teller." You ever go to a teller and try to take out eight dollars and fifty cents? Oh, it's disgusting &hellip; oh man, you gotta wait on that long ass line, people doing real transactions in front of you, you get on to the fucking front, you fill out your form, eight fifty. The fucking teller looks at it, she look at you, she looks at the check, she don't even take the money out of the drawer, she take it out of her pocket, "Here you go, get outta here." And here's something, man. Drugs are illegal, but ATM machines are open twenty-four hours a day. Twenty-four hours a day. For who? Who the fuck is it open for? Have you ever taken out three hundred dollars at four o'clock in the morning for something positive? Shit, when you press that machine at four o'clock in the morning, I think a psychiatrist should pop up on the screen and go, "Come on, man, save your money, man. Don't buy drugs, buy some rims. They spinning, nigga, they spinning, they spinning, nigga, they spinning." Americans worship money. Shit, you know why banks are closed on Sunday? 'Cause if they wasn't, church would be empty."

"Is it just me, or is he the greasiest nigga you ever seen in your life? Every time Jermaine comes on, I gotta wipe the grease off the screen! Can't see shit! Jermaine must have been on. Even the police can't catch his ass, 'cause every time they try, he just slips out! They be like, "Somebody throw some sand on that nigga! Please!""

"Shit, every woman in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man. A good girlfriend too, it's like, "Yeah, I'll go shopping with her, but I ain't gonna leave that bitch alone with my man for five minutes, no." I remember one time, I was at a restaurant with me, my wife, and her girlfriend. And my wife gets up and goes, "Honey, I'm going to the bathroom." And I'm like, "All right, honey, I'll see you when you get back." And she goes, "No, you coming with me!" She made me come with her to the bathroom! And she did the right thing, 'cause I'd have fucked the girl; I'da fucked her. I'd have fucked her on a damn quesadilla, I didn't give a fuck."

"Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, "I can't even put gas in my plane!""

"[In deep voice] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to WLOW, Low Radio. Now a lot of rappers out there would like to tell the girls to get low, but tonight we're gonna tell you to get lower. That's right! In the ground, under the ground! Get in the mud, bitch! Dig to China, hoe! I don't even know why the fuck you are standing! It's time for you to get lower! Now some of you bitches are still standing, and I don't understand that, 'cuz I want y'all to get low! I'm talking REAL low! I want you so low that you can change an ant's transmission! I want you so low that Aquaman says "Bitch, what the fuck are you doing under the ocean!?""

"Hey, man, fuck y'all! I ain't telling you motherfuckers shit! You motherfuckers can suck my dick! I don't know what the fuck you talking about! Let me get the fuck out of this motherfucker, 'cuz I got shit to do, bitch!"

"I don't give a fuck! So, what!? Motherfuck the tiger! I'd be shot in the tooth, motherfucker! I don't give a fuck about your bee-otches!"

"Who'd... you think I'd give a fuck!? I don't give a fuck about no motherfucking chainsaw! I got two black wives, motherfucker! Fuck y'all!"

"You mean to tell me that Jamaicans invented sugar, reggae and the best drug on Earth and the white man makes all the money!?"

"You mean to tell me that Hawaiians came up with pineapples, resorts, hula hoops, Magnum P.I. and the best damn punch in the world and they don't get no money from it!?"

"You mean to tell me that for the last sixty years, the white man's been traveling to outer space, murdering Martians, telling us there's no life up there, building casinos and resorts while he fucks some of the finest bitches in the galaxy, and niggas just want rims!?"

"George Bush has fucked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! People are like "give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra...anything but another white man! That last one fucked up my roof!""

"[on John McCain] I don't need a president with a bucket list!"

"[on John McCain being too old] When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!"

"[on John McCain being in a POW camp] I don't wanna vote for nobody who got captured, I wanna vote for the motherfucker that got away!"

"[in South Africa] Barack Obama! A black man! With a black name! I know that ain't that black here, but in America that's about as black as a name could get. Barack Obama! That's right next to Dikembe Mutombo. That's right. Barack, man, he don't let his blackness sneak up on you. Y'know, if his name was Bob Jones or something, it might take you two or three weeks to realize he black. But as soon as you hear "Barack Obama"...you expect to see a brother with a spear! Just standin' on top of a dead lion! Barack Obama! You expect to see the bass player from the Commodores come out! [sings and mimes playing bass] "Too hot ta trot, now, baby, too hot ta trot, bay-by!" I'm not talkin' about Lionel Richie, I'm talkin' about them shiny niggas behind him!"

"[about Obama] We're not just voting for him 'cause he's black, we're voting for him 'cause he's black and qualified. That's why we're voting for the motherfucker. Yeah. That's why we behind him. It's not like we're voting for Flavor Flav. "Yeeeeah, boooooy! Flavor Flaaaav!" Hey, I love Flavor. Lovin' him for 20 years. I love the "Flavor of Love" show; I think it's quite entertainin'. But Flavor Flav must be killed. In order for black people to truly reach the promised land, Flavor Flav has to be shot. These are important times! We got a black man runnin' for President! We don't need a nigger runnin' around with a fuckin' clock around his neck and a Viking hat on his head! "Not this year, Flav, put a suit on! Nigga, put a suit on!""

"Yo, it's gonna be hard for Barack Obama to be President, 'cause Barack Obama has to overcome a handicap that the other candidate does not have to overcome. That's right. It's gonna be hard for Barack Obama to be President because Barack Obama has...a black wife. And I don't think a black lady can be First Lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it. I said it in Johannesburg, I said it! [cuts to London] I said it in London, England, I said that shit! [cuts to New York] I said it at the Apollo Theatre, I said that shit! I don't believe a black woman could be First Lady, 'cause you know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship! [some women boo] Don't get me wrong, a black woman could be President with no problem. First Lady--too much shuttin' up in that job. Can you imagine tellin' your black wife that you President? "Honey, I won, I'm President!" "No, we President! And I want my girlfriends in the cabinet! I want Kiki to be Secretary of Defense! She can fight, she can fight.""

"George Bush is still in charge. And nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush. You think you don't give a fuck? Bush don't give a fuck. Nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush. If you was hangin' from a cliff, gettin' ready to fall to your death--that's right--and Bush was at the top of the cliff, and all you needed was a fuck to save your life, and Bush had a pocket full of fucks...he wouldn't give you one. "Hey, Bush, I need a fuck!" "Ohh, you know I don't give a fuck. Here's a fuck...psych!""

"I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. [some whistles and cheers from the audience] Don't hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there's me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let's break it down, let's break it down: me, I'm a decent comedian. I'm a'ight. [applause] Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He's a fucking dentist! He ain't the best dentist in the world...he ain't going to the dental hall of fame...he don't get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He's just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to somethin' the white man can walk to."

"There's nothin' a white person could ever say to me that will ever catch me off-guard. Ever! I'm always lookin' for some racism! No matter where the fuck I'm at, I'm like "where the racism at? Where it at, where it at, where it at?" No matter where I'm at. I could be sittin' down with Regis Philbin, doin' an interview, talkin' about Madagascar 2, sayin' "yeah, Regis, Madagascar 2's real good, man. I play a zebra again! Oh, this motherfucker's great!" And right in the middle of the interview, Regis'll pull a pencil out of his pocket, stab me in the neck and say "take that, ya fuckin' nigger! Take that, ya dirty, greasy nigger! Take that, ya fuckin' nigger!" And I'd be like "I shoulda seen it comin'. I let Regis get too close." I'll be mad at me. I'll apologize--"hey, man, I left my neck all out, man. I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry.""

"[on Isaiah Washington being fired] What if the person that he called a faggot...was acting like a faggot? You don't have to be gay to act like a faggot. You don't even have to be a man to act like a faggot. Anybody can act like a faggot. Let me give you an example: I love Gwen Stefani. I think No Doubt is one of the best groups in the world; I keep a No Doubt CD in my car and I sing that shit to the end. I'm like "don't speak, I know just what you're sayin', oh, please stop explainin'"...I won't even get out my car 'til the shit's over. I'm like "you know you're good, you know you're real good...la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, [high pitched] Don't! Don't!" I fuckin' love me some Gwen Stefani! Now, if I'm drivin' my car, and I'm at the light, and you in the car behind me, and the light's red, and I'm just sittin' there blasting some Gwen Stefani and I'm like "ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback!" And you in the car behind me and the light's red--cool. But then the light turns green. And I don't see it, because I'm in Gwen Stefani heaven. And I'm just goin' "Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback!" Now the light starts fuckin' blinking! It's gettin' ready to turn red again, and I *still* don't see it, and I'm in my car going "This shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas! This shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas!" Now if you in the car behind me, and that light's gettin' ready to turn red, and I'm going "this shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas!" If you in the car behind me, you have the right to go "HEY, FAGGOT! The light's about to change!" Shit, even Elton John would call me a faggot at that moment. It's not the word, it's the context in which the word is bein' said!"

"Shit, last year the NAACP had a funeral for the word "nigger"! Well, tonight is Easter!"

"So the question is, can white people say "nigger"? And the answer's the same: "Not really." Oh there's some exceptions like, "Fuck me harder, nigger!" Lot of white women trying not to laugh in front of their husbands right now. "Honey I was in college! I had to see what it was about! He made me say it!""

"But the question remains the same: Can white people say "nigger"? And the answer's the same: not really. But wait a minute, there's one exception. There's one exception. There's one instance where white people can say nigger. And I'ma let it out tonight. I'ma let it out here in Johannesburg. The one time that white people can say nigger. White people are like "this is what I paid for! It's a fuckin' great night now!" The one time white people can say nigger: here it goes; listen closely. 'Cause I may never say this shit again. The one time white people can say nigger, OK: if it's Christmas Eve, and it's between 4:30 and 4:49 in the morning. If you white, and you're on your way to Toys 'R' Us to get your kid the last Transformer doll, and right before you walk into Toys 'R' Us, some black person runs up beside you, smacks you in the head with a brick, knocks you to the ground, stomps on your face--"take that, you cracker-ass motherfucker!" Riverdances on your head--"take that, you cracker-ass motherfucker!" Takes your money, pisses on you, and runs away--if you white, at that moment, you can say "Somebody stop that nigger!" Matter of fact, if you white and that happens to you, you can say nigger for a whole month! But you gotta walk around with the police report in your pocket. In case any black people catch you sayin' nigger, the police report will act as your freedom papers. "Hey, I heard you saying nigger; let me see your fuckin' papers. Gimme the papers; show me the papers!" [pretends to read a sheet] "Christmas Eve! 4:48! You just made it, motherfucker! Pissed on you! ...I hope they catch that nigger!""

"On Desperate Housewives: I think they should change the name of that show from Desperate Housewives...to Ungrateful Bitches! You all are hoes bitch!"

"I try never to brag but I'm probably the only person who has been on 60 Minutes twice and isn't dead."

"I love going to the Cellar and spanking the shit out of everybody. I love going there, at my age, and having an act that's better than the guys who are fifteen or twenty years younger than me. I'm like "This is my seventh special. What's your fucking excuse?""

"You learn more from fucking up than you do from success, unfortunately. And failure, if you don't let it defeat you, is what fuels your future success."

"Chris Rock is not only the best comedian in the world, he is WAY better than everyone else. Period."

"Comedian Chris Rock recently came out about being on the Autism spectrum; specifically, he was diagnosed with Nonverbal Learning Disorder. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, he describes how clear-cut indicators (such as an inability to pick up on social cues and a tendency to take all statements hyperliterally) were ignored until his mid-fifties. Because he was an outgoing, Black comedian, Autism seemed unthinkable as an explanation for the social and emotional challenges he was facing. Rock says he downplayed his own mental health needs, too, because he'd internalized the idea only white people go to therapy."

"Chris Rock might be the only comedian I know who's maybe a little better at analogies than I am. He's a great analogizer."

"I don't think anybody should write his autobiography until after he's dead."

"Unnamed director: [The script is] too caustic. Goldwyn: To hell with the cost. If it's a good picture, we'll make it."

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."

"Our comedies are not to be laughed at."

"I can answer you in two words: im-possible!"

"Gentlemen, include me out. (or just "Include me out.")"

"We have that Indian scene. We can get the Indians from the reservoir."

"The next time I send a damn fool for something, I go myself."

"I read part of it all the way through."

"Anyone who would go to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined!"

"If you have a message, call Western Union."

"When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction instruct Anna Sten in diction, then Anna shows, Anything goes!"

"We'll use a signal I have tried and found far-reaching and easy to yell. Waa-hoo!"

"It was the elision of the weaker element — the survival of the fittest; and some, indeed very many, mothers must lose their sons that way."

"he was a stranger in a strange land"

"If I fished only to capture fish, my fishing trips would have ended long ago."

"To bear up under loss — to fight the bitterness of defeat and the weakness of grief — to be victor over anger — to smile when tears are close — to resist evil men and base instincts — to hate hate and to love love — to go on when it would seem good to die — to seek ever after the glory and the dream — to look up with unquenchable faith in something evermore about to be — that is what any man can do, and so be great."

"Lassiter, the men of my creed are unnaturally cruel. To my everlasting sorrow I confess it. They have been driven, hated, scourged till their hearts have hardened. But we women hope and pray for the time when our men will soften.” “Beggin’ your pardon, ma’am—that time will never come.” “Oh, it will!... Lassiter, do you think Mormon women wicked? Has your hand been against them, too?” “No. I believe Mormon women are the best and noblest, the most long-sufferin’, and the blindest, unhappiest women on earth.”"

"I know Mormons. I’ve seen their women’s strange love en’ patience en’ sacrifice an’ silence en’ whet I call madness for their idea of God. An’ over against that I’ve seen the tricks of men. They work hand in hand, all together, an’ in the dark. No man can hold out against them, unless he takes to packin’ guns. For Mormons are slow to kill. That’s the only good I ever seen in their religion. Venters, take this from me, these Mormons ain’t just right in their minds. Else could a Mormon marry one woman when he already has a wife, an’ call it duty?"

"You know, in every Mormon village there are women who seem mysterious to us, but about Milly there was more than the ordinary mystery. When she came to Cottonwoods she had a beautiful little girl whom she loved passionately. Milly was not known openly in Cottonwoods as a Mormon wife. That she really was a Mormon wife I have no doubt. Perhaps the Mormon’s other wife or wives would not acknowledge Milly. Such things happen in these villages. Mormon wives wear yokes, but they get jealous. Well, whatever had brought Milly to this country—love or madness of religion—she repented of it. She gave up teaching the village school. She quit the church. And she began to fight Mormon upbringing for her baby girl. Then the Mormons put on the screws—slowly, as is their way. At last the child disappeared. ‘Lost’ was the report. The child was stolen, I know that. So do you."

"Remembering Jane’s accusation of bitterness, he tried hard to put aside his rancor in judging Tull. But it was bitter knowledge that made him see the truth. He had felt the shadow of an unseen hand; he had watched till he saw its dim outline, and then he had traced it to a man’s hate, to the rivalry of a Mormon Elder, to the power of a Bishop, to the long, far-reaching arm of a terrible creed."

"For hand in glove with that power was an insatiate greed; they were one and the same."

"He called Tull a binder of women, a callous beast who hid behind a mock mantle of righteousness—an’ the last an’ lowest coward on the face of the earth. To prey on weak women through their religion—that was the last unspeakable crime!"

"Don't look back!"

"I’ll say that mercy an’ goodness, such as is in you, though they’re the grand things in human nature, can’t be lived up to on this Utah border. Life’s hell out here. You think—or you used to think—that your religion made this life heaven. Mebbe them scales on your eyes has dropped now. Jane, I wouldn’t have you no different, an’ that’s why I’m going to try to hide you somewhere in this Pass. I’d like to hide many more women, for I’ve come to see there are more like you among your people. An’ I’d like you to see jest how hard an’ cruel this border life is. It’s bloody. You’d think churches an’ churchmen would make it better. They make it worse. You give names to things—bishops, elders, ministers, Mormonism, duty, faith, glory. You dream—or you’re driven mad. I’m a man, an’ I know. I name fanatics, followers, blind women, oppressors, thieves, ranchers, rustlers, riders. An’ we have—what you’ve lived through these last months. It can’t be helped. But it can’t last always."

"It wasn't about, 'Oh I want to make a film where I get to kiss a 10-year-old boy'. To me it was I wanted to make a film where you're trying to understand love."

"I telephoned Lauren and thanked her for saying that. She always calls it like it is and that's a reality check I adore."

"It would be far easier to go, 'Oh, I wish I loved women,' but I don't. I love the way a man thinks. I love the way a man smells. I love the way men look. And I'm hooked on the male physique—hooked on it."

"I'm trying to find a man to share my life with, but it's not been easy. I'm a 35-year-old woman with two small children!"

"I have a little bit of a belly, a tiny bit of pooch. It's the one thing I don't want to lose. I just like having some softness. If I lose that, then Tom might leave me."

"Now I can wear heels."

"I love acting, but it's much more fun taking the kids to the zoo."

"The important thing with a child is that you love them, you protect them and you help them to grow and find out who they are. And as a parent, it's my responsibility to help them to become independent and get all the knowledge and a broad view of the world and life. I know that Nic [former wife Nicole Kidman] absolutely agrees with that. And that's what's important: being there."

"I love Nicole. Nicole and I happen to be very great friends. Besides that, the press never get it straight. They do not print what you say... We were in Venice for Birth at the Venice Film Festival. And you know when you have a day when you go from one room to another with the roundtables with about five journalists sitting around at each table throwing questions at you all the time. So in one of these rooms, I'm sitting there. And one of the journalists said, you're an icon and Nicole Kidman's an icon and what do you think about that? And I said, why do you have to burden her with the category? She's a young woman. She's got her whole career ahead of her. Why does she have to be pegged as an icon or as anything? Let her enjoy her time. Don't, you know, suddenly put her in a slot. And that was all I said. The word "legend" never came up. It was "icon.""

"Well, whoever Keyser Söze is, I can tell you he is going to get gloriously drunk tonight."

"Dianne, thank you for teaching me about caring about the right things, and I love you."

"Sometimes the person who is the most logical is the person whom we call insane."

"John Lennon was many things to many people. A poet, a rocker, a leader, a troublemaker, a father, a husband — a man. Growing up, to me, he was a hero. The work of John Lennon was marked by its exquisite beauty and by its brutal honesty. So in that vein, let me say, that while I'm both deeply honored to be here — I'm also incredibly pissed-off. I'm outraged because this passionate prophet of peace, and so many others, are not with us here — because we live in an all-too-violent world. And so in the spirit of this occasion it is up to all of us, to do what we can, not only to keep John's songs alive, but help rebuild New York — and that includes your host..."

"The thing that is always so surprising about plays written in another century is how remarkably elastic they are. When you listen to the way in which Shakespeare attacks relationships, for example, even though the words may start off sounding foreign, in actuality they are so accessible, the motivations so clear, the resonances so contemporary. When you put it in a modern context - we could well be in a place with someone like Gaddafi or Mubarak - it becomes apparent how Richard III resonates with that type of personality, with media and manipulation, alliances and petty jealousies."

"I have a lot of respect and admiration for Anthony Rapp as an actor. I'm beyond horrified to hear his story. I honestly do not remember the encounter, it would have been 30 years ago. But if I did behave then as he describes, I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior, and I am sorry for the feelings he describes having carried with him all these years. This story has encouraged me to address other things about my life. I know that there are stories about me and that some have been fueled by the fact that I have been so protective of my privacy. As those closest to me know, in my life I have had relationships with both men and women. I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose now to live as a gay man. I want to deal with this honestly and openly and that starts with examining my own behavior."

"I mean, my mother knows. Or thinks she knows. Or supposes. Or suspects. I told her I was writing a story on Kevin Spacey, and she said, “Well, I hear he’s gay.” Now, you must understand some things about my mom. She is eighty years old and lives in a condominium in Florida. Although she loves movies—especially dark and intricate mysteries, which she calls “murders,” as in “You know how I like a good murder”—she has no connection to the movie business and has never, to my knowledge, outed anyone before. “Ma, where did you hear that?” “At the pool.” Of course—the pool. It is shocking what kind of knowledge is forced upon our parents—what kind of innocence is lost—at the pools of America. It is shocking, indeed, to imagine how many of America’s pools had to learn Kevin Spacey’s supposed secret before the supposed secret reached my mother’s pool and the grasp of her saintly and intrepid ears. One imagines the information—if information is what it is—creeping across the nation, from Hollywood to Florida, pool by pool, sort of like the dogged swimmer of Cheever’s short story, until at last an entire nation of moviegoers comes to hold Kevin Spacey under suspicion, until at last our own suspicion is all we know of him, all we have of him, all that’s left of him. It was not as surprising, though, to hear my mother repeat a rumor she’d heard about Kevin Spacey as it was to hear ostensible sophisticates in New York and Los Angeles repeat the very same rumor, as though my mother, on this count, were truly in the know; as though we have become unanimous in what we’ve heard, homogenized even to the extent of our access to secrets; as though the only thing one could possibly say about Kevin Spacey is what everyone else has already said, which is that he is supposed to be very smart, that he is supposed to be very private, that he is supposed to be extraordinarily committed to the protection and development of his extraordinary gifts as an actor, and that he is supposed to be gay. And that is all he’s supposed to be, by advance billing; that is it. He is one of our culture’s usual suspects, and, like the character he played in the movie of that name, he is both narrowed by our suspicions and set free by them, sprung by them, for he is an actor, and when all we know of an actor is that we don’t quite trust him, don’t quite believe him, then he is free to become whatever he wants to become, which, in the case of Kevin Spacey, is a movie star."

"There were just things in Disney movies that probably were too scary for kids."

"There were nude pictures... a lot of it is erotic or sexual. But I don't view my collection as dirty in any way. I view it as art."

"Does anyone come back from this? I don't know the answer to that, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let this destroy me."

"Please accept my apology for not going public with what I've been facing the last six years. I have always felt a huge amount of love and respect from my friends, fans and supporters. I have loved you all so much and enjoyed making art for you."

"(Typical signoff) Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow."

"Ashlee Simpson did a special performance at Mall of America this week. Reports from those present say that the venue was completely packed; I mean seriously, people were like sardines, wall to wall, there had to be like ten of them...all pushed up against the giant stage they constructed...in the janitor's closet. Because she sucks."

"Despite explosive violence in the West Bank this week, negotiators remain hopeful that a U.S.-sponsored summit could end the conflict. Israeli and Palestinian officials say they are eager to sign an agreement so they can dip it in gasoline, light it on fire and throw it at each other."

"Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman say their split is amicable, and they want everyone to know that after the divorce is final, their two adopted children will be returned to the prop department at Universal Studios."

"New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is once again expressing outrage at an art exhibit, this time at a painting in which Jesus is depicted as a naked woman. Said the mayor, "This trash is not the sort of thing that I want to look at when I go to the museum with my mistress.""

"In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late."

"It was announced that Ricky Martin will perform at the Lincoln Memorial as part of President Bush's inauguration. Apparently, Mr. Bush's first step in restoring the dignity of the presidency is having a soap star sing "She Bangs" at the foot of the Great Emancipator."

"Gale Norton, President Bush's controversial nominee for Secretary of the Interior, told a Senate committee this week, "I intend to make the conservation of America's national treasures my highest priority." At the top of her list is the American Bald Oil Magnate."

"In Washington last week, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of 200 high school students. There were no survivors."

"On Monday, Attorney General John Ashcroft issued a terrorism warning asking all Americans to be on high alert this week. Then on Friday he announced that the period of high alert will be extended indefinitely. I think I speak for all Americans when I say: I can't be any more alert than I already am! Okay, I'm opening my mail with salad tongs, I take my passport into the shower with me. I'm watching so much CNN I'm having dreams about Wolf Blitzer. How 'bout this: you be on full alert. I'm gonna freeze my head like Walt Disney, and you can wake me up when everything's cool. Okay?"

"Former pop singer Tiffany posed as the centerspread model for this month's issue of Playboy magazine. Tiffany, a devout Baptist, sat down with her young daughter and showed her a Cosmopolitan magazine saying "See honey? Mommy isn't nearly as classy as these ladies"."

"According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon."

"Despite the fact that Martha Stewart has disgraced herself too much to hold an official position at Omnimedia, the company may still use her name and images to sell their products. You know, sort of like Clinton and the Democrats."

"At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. Organizers of the orgy were expecting 1500 men, and 8 women."

"According to reports, Britney Spears has told family and close friends that she and her new husband Kevin Federline are expecting their first child. So far, no word on whether it will be a pimp or a ho."

"Helmut Simon, who 13 years ago found the 5,000-year-old remains of a prehistoric man frozen in the ice of an Alpine glacier, has himself disappeared in the snow-covered Alps. Helmut, if you can hear me, don't give up. Help is on the way in five thousand years."

"A man who had a heart attack while he was alone in his house was saved when his dog brought him the phone so he could call for help. However, it should be noted that for every one of these heartwarming stories, there's a million others where the dog just sits there like a idiot and watches you die."

"Bill O'Reilly settled his sexual harassment suit out-of-court this week. This is what he had to say about it on Thursday's O'Reilly Factor:"

"Hoping to court ex-New Yorkers living in Florida, the Bush campaign is running radio ads there, featuring former New York mayors Rudy Giuliani and Ed Koch. The ads begin, "Hiiii. We're the reason you LEFT.""

"Well, today in New York, after months of build up and anticipation, Star Jones made history and became the first person ever to get married."

"This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in 10,000 pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over 14,000 dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him."

"It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film."

"It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'"

"The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies...I'm not really a lawyer."

"Bill Clinton's brother Roger was arrested this week for drunk driving in California and then was thrown out of a restaurant after threatening the doorman. Despite all this, Roger Clinton is still the least embarrassing member of his family."

"SpongeBob SquarePants will begin airing in China in December so millions of factory workers can finally know what they’re making. But Chinese censors have ordered the name of the show be changed to "CleaningpadCharlie RectangleShorts""

"Polaroid is warning customers not to listen to the part of the Outkast song Hey Ya! that tells people to "shake it like a Polaroid picture", because that could actually ruin the pictures. In a related story, Bacardi is warning shorties to be responsible and not “sip Bacardi like it’s Dey birfday.""

"Two days before Britney Spears' HBO concert from Las Vegas, someone broke into her dressing room and stole the white, Elvis-inspired jumpsuit that she wore to promote the event. And you know what, I'm not giving it back! I keep it now, it's mine!"

"FOX is developing a new reality dating series called Playing it Straight, in which a female contestant will date 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay, and some are straight. The show was originally called The Tina Fey College Experience."

"CBS announced that will not air moveon.org's winning anti-Bush ad during the super bowl, saying that they don't air so-called "issue ads." Unless the issue is that girls are sluts for beer."

"A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game."

"MTV announced this week that the next season of The Real World will be shot in Detroit, as will several cast members."

"NBC announced this week that they will be producing a 3 hour TV movie based on the life of Rudolph Giuliani. To keep the movie real to life, the Giuliani character is really unlikeable until the last 15 minutes, when everyone loves him."

"In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea.""

"Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show...called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists."

"Maxim magazine recently released its annual hot 100 list, with Eva Longoria at #1, followed by Jennifer Garner and Lindsay Lohan. While I, once again, was ranked between Bonnie Hunt and Joy Behar."

"At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music."

"If these two are tired of having stuff with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

"Brokeback Mountain was released last weekend. Its notable for being the first Western where the good guys get it in the end."

"Question number one is from someone who calls himself "The Controvert." He says, "Hi, Tina, I love you in the show. In my humble opinion, when a show pushes the boundaries, you end up with a lot of passionate people on both sides. What do you think of the criticism the show gets?" I think that people who say they love the show and they think it's great and they write good reviews of it, are-are correct and that people who don't like the show for any reason are probably-they're just confusing it with Studio 60."

"This is, uh, from "RedSoxGirl02," um, so that person is four years old, I guess, 'cause their thing is "02.""

""I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it?" [pause] The baby starts to come down...and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it."

""Do the NBC bigheads really pay attention to these message boards?" Um, I don't know if they read the message boards. I hope so, because I write fifty to a thousand fake posts a week, mostly, uh, saying that I'm really good and that no else is as good as me. So, I hope they listen to that because I'm trying to get a raise."

""So, Alec Baldwin; great actor or greatest actor?" I'm gonna say "greatest actor"; Greatest...living...American...actor...in...the Baldwin family...by a mile."

"They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy."

"On Matthew McConaughey: "He was always taking his shirt off, he's like "Yeah, here's my deal, I'm hot." We had a meeting one day at like 11 o'clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong... He doesn't smell great, no.""

"On 30 Rock and Studio 60 and the Sunset Strip airing in the same year: "We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy—and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime.""

"It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good."

"If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs."

"Nowadays you don't go around on the street kicking people, punching people — because if you do (makes gun shape with hand), well that's it — I don't care how good you are."

"When I look around I always learn something, and that is to be yourself always, express yourself, and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate him. Now that seems to be the prevalent thing happening in Hong Kong, like they always copy mannerism, but they never start from the root of his being and that is, how can I be me?"

"You know what I want to think of myself? As a human being. Because, I mean I don't want to be like "As Confucius say," but under the sky, under the heavens there is but one family. It just so happens man that people are different."

"When you're talking about fighting, as it is, with no rules, well then, baby you'd better train every part of your body!"

"All types of knowledge, ultimately mean self knowledge."

"When I look around, I always learn something: to be always yourself, and to express yourself, to have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it."

"Boards don't hit back."

"A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands, I contract; and when he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, "I" do not hit, "it" hits all by itself."

"Don't think, feel....it is like a finger pointing a way to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory!"

"Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system."

"Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it."

"Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life. Do not be concerned with escaping safely — lay your life before him."

"There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level."

"Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."

"For a moment The surrounding utters no sound. Time ceases. The Paradise of Dreams come true."

"Jeet Kune Do favors formlessness so that it can assume all forms and since Jeet Kune Do has no style, it can fit in with all styles. As a result, Jeet Kune Do utilizes all ways and is bound by none and, likewise, uses any techniques which serve its end."

"When there is freedom from mechanical conditioning, there is simplicity. The classical man is just a bundle of routine, ideas and tradition. If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow — you are not understanding yourself."

"Do not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created another pattern and trapped yourself there."

"Truth has no path. Truth is living and, therefore, changing. Awareness is without choice, without demand, without anxiety; in that state of mind, there is perception. To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person. Awareness has no frontier; it is giving of your whole being, without exclusion."

"To contemplate a thing implies maintaining oneself OUTSIDE it, resolved to keep a distance between it and ourselves."

"Running water never grows stale. So you just have to 'keep on flowing.'"

"If one loves, one need not have an ideology of love."

"The happiness that is derived from excitement is like a brilliant fire — soon it will go out. Before we married, we never had the chance to go out to nightclubs. We only spent our nights watching TV and chatting. Many young couples live a very exciting life when they are in love. So, when they marry, and their lives are reduced to calmness and dullness, they will feel impatient and will drink the bitter cup of a sad marriage."

"Of course you’re there. Death is always there. So why was I afraid? Your leap is swift. Your claws are sharp and merciful. What can you take from me which is not already yours? . . . Everything I have done until now has been fruitless. It has led to nothing. There was no other path except that it led to nothing — and before me now there is only one real fact — Death. The truth I have been seeking — this truth is Death. Yet Death is also a seeker. Forever seeking me. So — we have met at last. And I am prepared. I am at peace. Because I will conquer death with death."

"Neither. I think of myself as a human being."

"The Three Stages of Cultivation — The first is the primitive stage. It is a stage of original ignorance in which a person knows nothing about the art of combat. In a fight, he simply blocks and strikes instinctively without a concern for what is right and wrong. Of course, he may not be so-called scientific, but, nevertheless, being himself, his attacks or defenses are fluid. The second stage — the stage of sophistication, or mechanical stage — begins when a person starts his training. He is taught the different ways of blocking, striking, kicking, standing, breathing, and thinking — unquestionably, he has gained the scientific knowledge of combat, but unfortunately his original self and sense of freedom are lost, and his action no longer flows by itself. His mind tends to freeze at different movements for calculations and analysis, and even worse, he might be called “intellectually bound” and maintain himself outside of the actual reality. The third stage — the stage of artlessness, or spontaneous stage — occurs when, after years of serious and hard practice, the student realizes that after all, gung fu is nothing special. And instead of trying to impose on his mind, he adjusts himself to his opponent like water pressing on an earthen wall. It flows through the slightest crack. There is nothing to try to do but try to be purposeless and formless, like water. All of his classical techniques and standard styles are minimized, if not wiped out, and nothingness prevails. He is no longer confined."

"Using no way as way; Having no limitation as limitation."

"In Jeet Kune Do, it’s not how much you have learned, but how much you have absorbed from what you have learned. It is not how much fixed knowledge you can accumulate, but what you can apply livingly that counts. ‘Being’ is more valued than "doing"."

"You have to keep your reflexes so that when you want it — it’s there. When you want to move — you are moving. And when you move, you are determined to move! Not accepting even one inch less than 100 percent of your honest feelings. Not anything less than that. So that is the type of thing you have to train yourself into. To become one with your feelings so that, when you think — it is."

"In life, what more can you ask for than to be real? To fulfill one’s potential instead of wasting energy on [attempting to] actualize one’s dissipating image, which is not real and an expenditure of one’s vital energy. We have great work ahead of us, and it needs devotion and much, much energy. To grow, to discover, we need involvement, which is something I experience every day — sometimes good, sometimes frustrating. No matter what, you must let your inner light guide you out of the darkness."

"None whatsoever."

"To be perfectly frank, I really do not."

"I believe in sleeping."

"There is no such thing as maturity. There is instead an ever-evolving process of maturing. Because when there is a maturity, there is a conclusion and a cessation. That’s the end. That’s when the coffin is closed. You might be deteriorating physically in the long process of aging, but your personal process of daily discovery is ongoing. You continue to learn more and more about yourself every day."

"I have come to discover through earnest personal experience and dedicated learning that ultimately the greatest help is self-help; that there is no other help but self-help— doing one’s best, dedicating one’s self wholeheartedly to a given task, which happens to have no end but is an ongoing process. I have done a lot during these years of my process. A swell in my process, I have changed from self-image actualization to self-actualization, from blindly following propaganda, organized truths, etc. to searching internally for the cause of my ignorance."

"Whether or not we can get together, remember well that art “lives” where absolute freedom is. With all the training thrown to nowhere, with a mind (if there is such a verbal substance) perfectly unaware of its own working, with the “self” vanishing nowhere, the art of JKD attains its perfection."

"You must have complete determination. The worst opponent you can come across is one whose aim has become an obsession. For instance, if a man has decided that he is going to bite off your nose no matter what happens to him in the process, the chances are he will succeed in doing it. He may be severely beaten up, too, but that will not stop him from carrying out his objective. That is the real fighter."

"Jeet Kune Do rejects all restrictions imposed by form and formality and emphasizes the clever use of the mind and body to defend and attack."

"An instructor should exemplify the things he seeks to teach. It will be of great advantage if you yourself can do all you ask of your students and more."

"As an instructor, you must be able to distinguish between poor performance caused by lack of ability or aptitude on the part of the student and poor performance caused by lack of effort. You should treat the first with patience and the latter with firmness. You must never apply sarcasm and ridicule."

"Even today, I dare not say that I have reached a state of achievement. I'm still learning, for learning is boundless."

"The man who is really serious, with the urge to find out what truth is, has no style at all. He lives only in what is."

"Take inventory of everyone with whom you have contact."

"Faith is a state of mind that can be conditioned through self-discipline. Faith will accomplish."

"Faith makes it possible to achieve that which man's mind can conceive and believe."

"Possession of anything begins in the mind."

"Thoughts are things."

"Make at least one definite move daily toward your goal."

"The intangible represents the real power of the universe. It is the seed of the tangible."

"The spirit of the individual is determined by his dominating thought habits."

"I'm in the midst of preparing my next movie, Enter the Dragon a coproduction between Concord and Warner Bros., plus another Concord production, The Game of Death, which is only halfway done"

"Emptiness the starting point. — In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all your preconceived and fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is useful? Because it is empty."

"Life is wide, limitless. There is no border, no frontier."

"Life lives; and in the living flow, no questions are raised. The reason is that life is a living now! So, in order to live life whole-heartedly, the answer is life simply is."

"The meaning of life is that it is to be lived, and it is not to be traded and conceptualized and squeezed into a pattern of systems."

"The aphorism "as a man thinketh in his heart so is he" contains the secret of life."

"Meaning is found in relationship. — Meaning is the relationship of the foreground figure to the background."

"Life is never stagnation. It is constant movement, unrhythmic movement, as we as constant change. Things live by moving and gain strength as they go."

"Life itself is your teacher, and you are in a state of constant learning."

"The primary reality is not what I think, but that I live, for those also live who do not think."

"The timeless moment. — The "moment" has no yesterday or tomorrow. It is not the result of thought and therefore has no time."

"Knowledge, surely, is always of time, whereas knowing is not of time. Knowledge is from a source, from accumulation, from conclusion, while knowing is a movement."

"To realize freedom the mind has to learn to look at life, which is a vast movement, without the bondage of time, for freedom lies beyond the field of consciousness — care for watching, but don't stop and interpret "I am free," then you're living in a memory of something that has gone before."

"To spend time is to pass it in a specified manner. To waste time is to expend it thoughtlessly or carelessly. We all have time to spend or waste, and it is our decision what to do with it. But once passed, it is gone forever."

"Time means a lot to me because, you see, I, too, am also a learner and am often lost in the joy of forever developing and simplifying. If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of."

"Be aware of doing your best to understand the ROOT in life, and realize the DIRECT and the INDIRECT are in fact a complementary WHOLE. It is to see things as they are and not to become attached to anything — to be unconscious meant to be innocent of the working of a relative (empirical) mind — where there is no abiding of thought anywhere on anything — this is being unbound. This not abiding anywhere is the root of our life."

"Concentration is the ROOT of all the higher abilities in man."

"Seek to understand the root. — It is futile to argue as to which single leaf, which design of branch, or which attractive flower you like; when you understand the root, you understand all its blossoming."

"What we are after is the ROOT and not the branches. The root is the real knowledge; the branches are surface knowledge. Real knowledge breeds "body feel" and personal expression; surface knowledge breeds mechanical conditioning and imposing limitation and squelches creativity."

"Flow in the living moment. — We are always in a process of becoming and NOTHING is fixed. Have no rigid system in you, and you'll be flexible to change with the ever changing. OPEN yourself and flow, my friend. Flow in the TOTAL OPENNESS OF THE LIVING MOMENT. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo."

"You cannot force the Now. — But can you neither condemn nor justify and yet be extraordinarily alive as you walk on? You can never invite the wind, but you must leave the window open."

"The Moment is freedom. — I couldn't live by a rigid schedule. I try to live freely from moment to moment, letting things happen and adjusting to them."

"The Now is indivisible. — Completeness, the now, is an absence of the conscious mind to strive to divide that which is indivisible. For once the completeness of things is taken apart it is no longer complete."

"The Western approach to reality is mostly through theory, and theory begins by denying reality — to talk about reality, to go around reality, to catch anything that attracts our sense-intellect and abstract it away from reality itself. Thus philosophy begins by saying that the outside world is not a basic fact, that its existence can be doubted and that every proposition in which the reality of the outside world is affirmed is not an evident proposition but one that needs to be divided, dissected and analyzed. It is to stand consciously aside and try to square a circle."

"In Science we have finally come back to the pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus, who said everything is flow, flux, process. There are no "things." NOTHINGNESS in Eastern language is "no-thingness". We in the West think of nothingness as a void, an emptiness, an nonexistence. In Eastern philosophy and modern physical science, nothingness — no-thingness — is a form of process, ever moving."

"What IS is more important than WHAT SHOULD BE. To many people are looking at "what is" from a position of thinking "what should be.""

"Conditioning obstructs our view of reality. — We do not see IT in its suchness because of our indoctrination, crooked and twisted."

"True thusness is without defiling thought; it cannot be known through conception and thought."

"Reality is apparent when one ceases to compare. — There is "what is" only when there is no comparison at all, and to live with what is, is to be peaceful."

"Reality is being itself. — It is being itself, in becoming itself. Reality in its isness, the "isness" of a thing. Thus isness is the meaning — having freedom in its primary sense — not limited by attachments, confinements, partialization, complexities."

"A self-willed man obeys a different law, the one law I, too, hold absolutely sacred — the human law in himself, his own individual will."

"One should be in harmony with, not in opposition to, the strength and force of the opposition. This means that one should do nothing that is not natural or spontaneous; the important thing is not to strain in any way."

"The dualistic philosophy reigned supreme in Europe, dominating the development of Western science. But with the advent of atomic physics, findings based on demonstrable experiment were seen to negate the dualistic theory, and the trend of thought since then has been back to the monistic conception of the ancient Taoists."

"If thought exists, I who think and the world about which I think also exist; the one exists but for the other, having no possible separation between them. Therefore, the world and I are both in active correlation; I am that which sees the world, and the world is that which is seen by me. I exist for the world and the world exists for me. … One sure and primary and fundamental fact is the joint existence of a subject and of its world. The one does not exist without the other. I acquire no understanding of myself except as I take account of objects, of the surroundings. I do not think unless I think of things — and there I find myself."

"When we hold to the core, the opposite sides are the same if they are seen from the center of the moving circle. I do not experience; I am experience. I am not the subject of experience; I am that experience. I am awareness. Nothing else can be I or can exist."

"Taoist philosophy … is essentially monistic. … Matter and energy, Yang and Yin, heaven and earth, are conceived of as essentially one or as two coexistent poles of one indivisible whole."

"Voidness is that which stands right in the middle between this and that. The void is all-inclusive; having no opposite, there is nothing which it excludes or opposes. The all illuminating light shines and is beyond the movement of the opposites."

"Like everyone else you want to learn the way to win. But never to accept the way to lose. To accept defeat — to learn to die — is to be liberated from it. Once you accept, you are free to flow and to harmonize. Fluidity is the way to an empty mind. You must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying."

"True thusness is the substance of thought, and thought is the function of true thusness. There is no thought except that of true thusness. Thusness does not move, but its motion and function are inexhaustible."

"Liberate yourself from concepts and see the truth with your own eyes. — It exists HERE and NOW; it requires only one thing to see it: openness, freedom — the freedom to be open and not tethered by any ideas, concepts, etc. … When our mind is tranquil, there will be an occasional pause to its feverish activities, there will be a let-go, and it is only then in the interval between two thoughts that a flash of UNDERSTANDING — understanding, which is not thought — can take place."

"Balance your thoughts with action. — If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done."

"Concepts vs. self-actualization. — Instead of dedicating your life to actualize a concept of what you should be like, ACTUALIZE YOURSELF. The process of maturing does not mean to become a captive of conceptualization. It is to come to the realization of what lies in our innermost selves."

"Life is better lived than conceptualized. — This writing can be less demanding should I allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I've come to understand that life is best to be lived — not to be conceptualized. If you have to think, you still do not understand."

"Knowledge will give you power, but character respect."

"What you HABITUALLY THINK largely determines what you will ultimately become."

"Know the difference between a catastrophe and an inconvenience. — To realize that it's just an inconvenience, that it is not a catastrophe, but just an unpleasantness, is part of coming into your own, part of waking up."

"The change is from inner to outer. — We start by dissolving our attitude not by altering outer conditions."

"Choose the positive. — You have choice — you are master of your attitude — choose the POSITIVE, the CONSTRUCTIVE. Optimism is a faith that leads to success."

"Cease negative mental chattering. — If you think a thing is impossible, you'll make it impossible. Pessimism blunts the tools you need to succeed."

"A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at."

"Don't fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail."

"Research your own experience; absorb what is useful, reject what is useless and add what is essentially your own."

"When asked what the difference between a karate punch and a kung-fu punch was during his first U.S. screen test in 1965, Bruce Lee replied, “Well, a karate punch is like being hit by an iron bar—whack! A kung-fu punch is like being hit by an iron ball swung on an iron chain with an iron ball attached to the end—it goes WHANG!—and it hurts inside.” Then he stood up and showed exactly what that might look like in a flurry of hands and feet moving so fast they blurred."

"Bruce Lee was grateful to those who helped his career. When The Green Hornet was cancelled, he wrote to producer William Dozier to say, "I like to take this opportunity to thank you personally for all that you've done to start my career in show business. Without you, I would never have thought about being in Hollywood. I've gained tremendous experience from the Green Hornet and believe I've improved steadily since the first show----that of minimizing and hacking away the unessential.""

"The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose. Do not like, do not dislike; all will then be clear. Make a hairbreadth difference and heaven and earth are set apart; if you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between "for" and "against" is the mind's worst disease."

"When I was having dinner with Chuck Norris I did ask him: "If you and Bruce would be in a real fight to death, who would win?", and he said without thinking: "Bruce of course. Nobody can beat him.""

"Bruce Lee lived martial arts every day! He could do things in the martial arts that others could not. He was very friendly and outgoing and usually the center of attention. We met after the national championships in 1964 during a dinner. Because I had just won the championship, he immediately challenged me. He said, "I want to challenge you to an arm wrestling match." I thought this guy barely weighs 120 pounds soaking wet. This will be simple, and I immediately accepted his challenge. Then he said, "But we’re going to arm wrestle — Chinese style." I agreed since I really thought I could take him any way that he wanted to wrestle. At the time, I weighed about 225 pounds to his 120 pounds. So we got to it, and I will confess that trying to twist his arm was like trying to twist a piece of steel! He looked at me and smiled while I was giving it all I had. Then he just dumped me over like it was nothing at all. He was quite a martial artist– the best I’ve ever seen. Yet with skill that masterful, he was always very warm and friendly — the kind of guy everyone wanted to meet."

"I wouldn't have put a dime on anyone to beat Bruce Lee in a real confrontation. Bruce Lee was the best street fighter I ever saw, even to this very day, and not just pound for pound — but against anyone in a real fight."

"His martial art skills made Lee arguably the greatest martial artist of his time — or any other."

"The story was particularly serious . . . I know Bruce Lee from secondary school in Nigeria. I come from Ghana, and there has always been a race, a loving rivalry between two countries. So I was picked on. Every child who is bullied, has an imaginary hero. I had several, and Bruce Lee was the greatest. Every little boy has a little bit of Bruce Lee in him."

"There's no doubt in my mind that if Bruce Lee had gone into pro boxing, he could easily have ranked in the top three in the lightweight division or junior-welterweight division."

"The slender, swift Bruce Lee was the Fred Astaire of martial arts, and many of the fights that could be merely brutal come across as lightning-fast choreography."

"I wanted to do in boxing what Bruce Lee was able to do in the martial arts. Lee was an artist and, like him, I try to get beyond the fundamentals of my sport. I want my fights to be seen as plays."

"In a dictionary, you say "greatest", you say "Bruce Lee", that's the way it is. He is second to no one."

"When Bruce Lee kicked, you don't shut your eyes. Because when you shut your eyes, you cannot see Bruce Lee kick it's so fast! Human beings cannot move like cartoon [sound effects], that's the fastest you can be. Even Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson, their punches are fast, but you still can see [them]."

"If Bruce Lee wasn't the greatest martial artist of all time, then certainly he is the number one candidate."

"I considered him by far the greatest. And for those who don't considering him the greatest, at least he is the top candidate for being actually the greatest."

"Every kid, I believe, in America noticed that guy behind The Green Hornet— the one who could kick, the one who could punch, the one who could move so amazingly—all eyes centered on him. … The makers of The Green Hornet had to actively restrain Bruce Lee from being himself because they realized every time they saw the rushes that everything else was wiped off-screen."

"I truly liked and admired Bruce. I worked with him some and he helped me in my foot movement and back fist. Bruce probable weighed 135 pounds at most, but he could hit like a mule. I know, because he knocked me under Sharon Tate’s barstool at Columbia Pictures in 1968. Bruce never confronted any big men to my knowledge. There are stories out there, but none I personally know of. I will say this; I would have picked Bruce in any street situation. He had the knowledge and the attitude to carry him through anything."

"I remember many times my father (Ed Parker) talking about, pound for pound, Lee was the best martial artist, he'd ever seen."

"Bruce Lee is my idol. I need to learn some techniques of Bruce Lee, especially the quickness of his hands and legs."

"Actually, the father of mixed martial arts, if you will, was Bruce Lee. If you look at the way Bruce Lee trained, the way he fought, and many of the things he wrote, he said the perfect style was no style. You take a little something from everything. You take the good things from every different discipline, use what works, and you throw the rest away."

"Ayn Rand is a stupid piece of shit!"

"The first time I felt I was famous was when I went to the movies with my mom. I had gone to the loo, and someone in the bathroom said in a very loud voice, "Girl in stall No. 1 were you in Mystic Pizza? I paused and I said, yeah that was me."

"The first really important book I read about filmmaking was The Film Technique by Pudovkin. This was some time before I had ever touched a movie camera and it opened my eyes to cutting and montage."

"The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes."

"The reason movies are often so bad out here isn't because the people who make them are cynical money hacks. Most of them are doing the very best they can; they really want to make good movies. The trouble is with their heads, not their hearts."

"When I made my first film, I think the thing was probably helped me the most was that it was such an unusual thing to do in the early 50s for someone who actually go and make a film. People thought it was impossible. It really is terribly easy. All anybody needs is a camera, a tape recorder, and some imagination."

"The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death — however mutable man may be able to make them — our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light."

"If man merely sat back and thought about his impending termination, and his terrifying insignificance and aloneness in the cosmos, he would surely go mad, or succumb to a numbing sense of futility. Why, he might ask himself, should he bother to write a great symphony, or strive to make a living, or even to love another, when he is no more than a momentary microbe on a dust mote whirling through the unimaginable immensity of space? ... Those of us who are forced by their own sensibilities to view their lives in this perspective — who recognize that there is no purpose they can comprehend and that amidst a countless myriad of stars their existence goes unknown and unchronicled — can fall prey all too easily to the ultimate anomie. … The world's religions, for all their parochialism, did supply a kind of consolation for this great ache … This shattering recognition of our mortality is at the root of far more mental illness than I suspect even psychiatrists are aware."

"I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker."

"You sit at the board and suddenly your heart leaps. Your hand trembles to pick up the piece and move it. But what chess teaches you is that you must sit there calmly and think about whether it’s really a good idea and whether there are other, better ideas."

"I don't like doing interviews. There is always the problem of being misquoted or, what's even worse, of being quoted exactly."

"The very meaninglessness of life forces man to create his own meaning. If it can be written or thought, it can be filmed."

"Anyone who has ever been privileged to direct a film also knows that, although it can be like trying to write War and Peace in a bumper car in an amusement park, when you finally get it right, there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling."

"One man writes a novel. One man writes a symphony. It is essential that one man make a film."

"Never, ever go near power. Don't become friends with anyone who has real power. It's dangerous."

"Think [Schindler's List] was about the Holocaust?... That was about success, wasn’t it? The Holocaust is about six million people who get killed. ‘'Schindler’s List’' is about 600 who don’t. Anything else?"

"There's something in the human personality which resents things that are clear, and conversely, something which is attracted to puzzles, enigmas, and allegories."

"I have always enjoyed dealing with a slightly surrealistic situation and presenting it in a realistic manner. I've always liked fairy tales and myths, magical stories. I think they are somehow closer to the sense of reality one feels today than the equally stylized "realistic" story in which a great deal of selectivity and omission has to occur in order to preserve its "realist" style."

"Include utter banalities."

"Is it good or bad? Is it necessary? Can I get rid of it? Does it work?"

"[Kubrick] always said that it was better to adapt a book rather than write an original screenplay, and that you should choose a work that isn't a masterpiece so you can improve on it. Which is what he's always done, except with Lolita."

"When you think of the visual style, when you think of the visual language of a film there tends to be a natural separation of the visual style and the narrative elements, but with the great, whether it is Stanley Kubrick, Terrence Malick or Hitchcock what you're seeing is inseparable, a vital relationship between the images and the story he's telling."

"I love almost all of Stanley Kubrick, there’s almost no Stanley Kubrick I don’t love. I love Lolita, I love Dr. Strangelove. I love A Clockwork Orange, obviously. I even like a lot of Barry Lyndon (laughs). And early stuff, like The Killing and Paths of Glory. … It’s ridiculous. Look, he made the best comedy ever, he may have made one of the best science fiction movies ever, he made the best horror movie ever. I couldn’t watch the end of The Shining. I went through half The Shining for years before I could finish, because I’m a writer and as soon as he starts writing “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” I had to turn it off. It’s almost like Picasso in that he mastered so many different genres. … he took his time and patience and he had a crew of like 18 people. They were very handmade movies these were not large behemoths that he did; they were very thoughtful and his editing process was long. He’s kind of without peer really. If I was gonna settle on a director, probably Kubrick."

"You say, 'Gee, I wish he'd made more [films].' But these were enough. Because there's so much in each one. You know, there's so much. Yeah, it would've been nice for him to have made more. But that's not the process. That wasn't his process, and what he did make was something so special and unique, it's like a different movie every time you see it."

"God is a great concept, [but it] doesn't work"

"Ten years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other WITH each other. A decade-plus and her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick."

"Sir, I just think that's it's fucking brilliant that you somehow managed to tie Chuck Norris, Chewbacca the Wookie, and Jesus Christ together."

"Guy from audience: Your wife is your beard! Kevin: My wife is my beard isn't she?... Oh, sir, who was it? It was you? That was your move. 'Cause in your head you're going "I'm gonna yell out your wife is your beard and they'll laugh like they laughed at the rock guy!" And you yelled it out, you got it out there, you had the guts to do it and shit, and then I even echoed it for you just in case the cheap seats didn't hear it, and there was fucking crickets, sir."

"What happened to Riggs?"

"What's your name, new best friend?"

"In Hollywood, you just kind of fail upwards."

""[as Tim Burton] Anyone who knows me will tell you that I would never read a comic book." Which, to me, explains fucking Batman."

"A science fiction movie? I don't know. I think I have made one already... Chasing Amy. Because you go ask any lesbian, that'll never happen. Even if, and probably especially because, the dude is Ben fucking Affleck."

"They are creepy, too, man. Those puppets don't make me feel good. I'll be honest, nothing about this show makes me feel good."

"There would always be a bunch of fucking grousers and nay-sayers being like "that was uncalled for.""

"Look at my dick."

"Don't get me wrong, I love Schindler's List, but it's not like "Hey, man, let's get loaded and watch Schindler's List." - SModcast 4: Can I get a (Masturbatory) Witness"

"Americans tend to celebrate even the most mediocre or basic accomplishments... It's like weddings to me. Why is that a big deal?... Why do you have to have a big shindig where you're, like, "Look, we're doing it" and everybody applauds and throws shit in your face. - SModcast 1: Fisting Flipper"

"There is no such thing as pointless violence. City of God, is that pointless violence? It's reality, it's real life, it has to do with the human condition. Being involved in Christianity and Catholicism when I was very young, you have that innocence, the teachings of Christ. Deep down you want to think that people are really good - but the reality outweighs that."

"Movies touch our hearts, and awaken our vision, and change the way we see things. They take us to other places. They open doors and minds. Movies are the memories of our lifetime. We need to keep them alive."

"I don't think there is any difference between fantasy and reality in the way these should be approached in a film. Of course if you live that way you are clinically insane."

"I always tell the younger film-makers and students: Do it like the painters used to...Study the old masters. Enrich your palette. Expand the canvas. There's always so much more to learn."

"I don't really see a conflict between the church and movies, the sacred and the profane. Obviously, there are major differences, but I can also see great similarities between a church and a movie house. Both are places for people to come together and share a common experience. I believe there is a spirituality in films, even if it's not one which can supplant faith."

"Mean Streets dealt with the American Dream, according to which everybody thinks they can get rich quick, and if they can't do it by legal means then they'll do it by illegal ones."

"I like Martin Scorsese as a director very much."

"I know this in no way alleviates the enormous amounts of pain and loss experienced by those who have suffered from the tsunami, but I hope it can make a difference."

"Women should do a lot more fighting. I don't think it's fair that we can't get into a good bar fight once in a while. We'd get out a lot of stuff we're supposed to repress."

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts. You have to remember this when you find yourself at the beginning."

"Sandra Bullock on 'Gravity' Oscar Nom: 'I've Just Gotten Better at Not Picking Crap'"

"I like to iron. Ironing is comfort. It's control. I'm a nutty person who likes to make sure everything is in its place. I am a big ball of high energy and organization and structure. Don't forget, I'm half-German."

"I know I'm not easy to deal with. I'm controlling, and I want everything orderly, and I need lists. My mind goes a mile a minute. I'm difficult on every single level. I'm aware that I can be annoying."

"I now know that anything sweet, really sweet, that I have was nothing that I planned. If you don't have kids and animals, you don't truly know what real life is about."

"I never did anything according to what anyone else wanted. That's why I think I am happy. I do everything 100% — even my stupidest missteps. I know when I'm getting ready to mess up, I'm going to do it full-on."

"I have to fight every single day to live my true life. I don't ever want to come home saying, "I should have spoken my mind. I shouldn't have let someone say something that I didn't feel was right." … [But] I have to remember that there's a balance. I'm in the entertainment business. We're here to entertain people, to make them laugh and forget."

"Therapy is washing of the brain. You’re willing to get a facial. Wash the brain. Take it out, clean it. What doesn’t belong there, throw it away."

"Human beings exist that have integrity, that know how to keep their mouth shut, that know the bigger picture, that don’t sell out their friends."

"“Free is the best. Anything free is good.”"

"“What do I want to say to little girls that I know? Don’t change. Be who you are.”"

"“Once you’re a parent, you can’t see through different eyes other than that of a parent,”"

"Does age matter? Time does“Once you’re a parent, you can’t see through different eyes other than that of a parent."

"“There’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color – nothing – no sexual orientation, that makes us better than anyone else. We’re all deserving of love.”"

"I've learned that success comes in a very prickly package. Whether you choose to accept it or not is up to you. It's what you choose to do with it, the people you choose to surround yourself with. Always choose people that are better than you. Always choose people that challenge yout and are smarter than you. Always be the student. Once you find yourself to be the teacher, you've lost it."

"Women are like ovens. We need 5 to 15 minutes to heat up."

"At this critical time, I am grateful to Sandra Bullock for once again demonstrating her leadership, compassion and belief in our global humanitarian mission. Sandra continues to enable our lifesaving work and is a model for personal generosity."

"These movies are like my children, except you can't remake my children in 3D to push up the grosses."

"I don’t know, it’s crazy that people like Donald Trump ... he shouldn’t even be where he is, so God help us. What he’s been saying is really totally crazy, ridiculous ... he is totally nuts. But I think now they are really starting to push back, the media ... finally they are starting to say, ‘come on Donald, this is ridiculous, this is nuts, this is insane."

"The administration’s mean-spiritedness towards our art and entertainment is an expression of their mean-spirited attitude about people who want that art and entertainment, people who also want and deserve decent wages, a fair tax system, a safe environment, education for their children and healthcare for all."

"When you started school, the country was an inspiring, uplifting drama. You are graduating into a tragic, dumbass comedy. My advice is to lock the [university’s] Van Wickle gates and stay here."

"I’m gonna say one thing. Fuck Trump. It’s no longer down with Trump. It’s fuck Trump."

"There’s something more powerful than bombs, and that’s your vote. People must vote!"

"We are in a moment in our lives, in this country, where this guy is like a gangster. We say over and over again: ‘This is terrible, we’re in a terrible situation, we’re in a terrible situation,’ and this guy just keeps going on and on and on without being stopped."

"Give him a chance. That’s what I said right after he was elected. Give him a chance. I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. This guy has proven himself to be a total loser."

"Even gangsters have morals, and they have ethics. They have a code, and you know when you give somebody your word, it’s your word, because it’s all you have is your word. This guy, he doesn’t even know what that means."

"It’s Shakespearean, the whole thing. You’ve got a lunatic saying things that people are trying to dance around. It’s appalling. He wants to be reelected. He doesn’t even care how many people die."

"He doesn’t care for those people, and the people who he pretends to care about are the people he has the most disdain for. They might like to tell themselves or to delude themselves, but he doesn’t care about them."

"I like it when interviews are brief. Are we done yet?"

"Some people say, "New York's a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there." I say that about other places."

"There's no such thing as not being afraid."

"I didn't have a problem with rejection, because when you go into an audition, you're rejected already. There are hundreds of other actors. You're behind the eight ball when you go in there."

"The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you. You're in a conversation and everybody's agreeing with what you're saying—even if you say something totally crazy. You need people who can tell you what you don't want to hear."

"When I'm directing a great dramatic scene, part of me is saying, "Thank God I don't have to do that." Because I know how fucking hard it is to act. It's the middle of the night. It's freezing. You gotta do this scene. You gotta get it up to get to that point. And yet, as a director, you've got to get the actors to that point. It's hard either way."

"As you get older, the more complicated things get. It's almost therapeutic to be doing simple things with the kids."

"If you don't go, you'll never know."

"I’m older now and I’m just upset about what’s going on. When you see someone like [Trump] becoming president, I thought, well, OK, let’s see what he does – maybe he’ll change. But he just got worse. It showed me that he is a real racist. I thought maybe as a New Yorker he understands the diversity in the city but he’s as bad as I thought he was before – and much worse. It’s a shame. It’s a bad thing in this country."

"If he had his way, we’d wind up in a very bad state in this country. I mean, the way I understand it, they laughed at Hitler. They all look funny. Hitler looked funny, Mussolini looked funny and other dictators and despots look funny."

"What bothers me is that there will be people in the future who see him as an example and they’ll be affected in some way, but they’ll be a lot smarter and have many more colours to their personality and be more mercurial and become someone with the same values as he has but able to get much further and do more damage as a despot. That’s my worry. There are people who look up to him: ‘I want to be like him.’ But they’ll do it much better and they’ll be more smart about it."

"I mean, a mob boss calls people ‘a rat’. That means you lied and somebody snitched on you, so you did commit the crime. So that’s interesting, and he makes mobsters look bad because there are mobsters who will shake your hand and keep their word. He can’t even do that."

"Trump is basic. He’s just a guy who just thinks he can rattle off his mouth and say anything. Well, I want to say the same thing to him: there are people who are going to say the same thing back to you, no matter who you are."

"Rupert Murdoch became a citizen of this country; look what he’s contributed by this. This is what he’s going to leave. This is his legacy. It’s disgraceful. He’s cynical, amoral, but he has a responsibility. He came here as an immigrant, technically, and look what he did. You cannot justify having Fox News as a mouthpiece for the government. It’s wrong. It’s beyond disgusting."

"You need somebody who’s strong enough to outmouth him – because that’s all he is, mouth – and smart enough and well-informed enough in a debate, say, to override all that nonsense that he does, be-cause basically it’s just name-calling. He has no substance. I don’t know how people fall for it. He’s just a big blowhard. But it ain’t over till it’s over as far as I’m concerned with a guy like him because he’s a dirty player."

"We have a real, immediate problem in that we have a gangster president who thinks he can do any-thing he wants … the problem is, if he actually gets away with it, then we all have a problem. The gall of the people around him who actually defend him, these Republicans, is appalling, and we must do something about it."

"It’s a resentment of people [who are] writing about what we see is obvious gangsterism. They don’t like that, so they say: ‘Fuck you, we’re going to teach you people.’ And they have to know they’re going to be taught … they can’t get away with bullying us – people who have common sense and see what is happening in this world, and in this country. They cannot do it. It’s a shame, it’s a shame that [the Republicans] behave so badly.”"

"Oh, I can’t wait to see him in jail. I don’t want him to die, I want him to go to jail."

"I’m worried because if he gets re-elected, it’s gonna be very, very bad—very bad on a lot of levels. We already have a lot of reparations, if you will—repairs—to do to the damage that he’s already done, and he has to be gotten out. He’s going to be history at one point, though he’d love to be president for life. He jokes about it. I think that if he became president for a second term he’d try to have a third term, and let smarter people manipulate it into getting us into some kind of altercation: a war."

"The only other president who served a third term was Roosevelt because he was in a war, and this fool would go and start something. This was what Marty Scorsese was saying, and I said, ‘Marty, I never thought of that. I never thought he’d go for a third term if there was a war or something. Trump joked about being ‘president for life’ with [Chinese president Xi Jinping] and so-on, he’ll pardon anybody, he’ll do anything. The day after he was elected, I went on a TV show and said I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and say that I hope he won’t be as bad as I think he will be, but he’s turned out to be a lot worse."

"I’m not really political but I saw when [Trump] would go to those rallies and he’d say, ‘I want to get this person and punch him in the face,’ and I’d think, how dare this person have this kind of a rally? How dare you do that! And I think about [Rupert] Murdoch, and what he did to this country. He’s an immigrant who became a citizen, and look what he contributed? Look what this guy did? It’s disgraceful—beyond disgraceful, beyond cynical. Fox News, it’s all about money and power. At what cost? And you’re not even an American. You’re someone who wanted to be an American, and this is what you gave us?"

"I’m just so incensed by this guy. He’s conning people every day. It’s a blight on our country. We have a lot of making-up to do to earn back people’s trust, and to get back on track where certain allies will trust us enough to know that we won’t allow an idiot to get in office again."

"There is no such thing as science fiction, there is only science eventuality."

"Failure is inevitable. Success is elusive."

"I love Rambo but I think it's potentially a very dangerous movie. It changes history in a frightening way."

"Oh, torture. Torture. My pubic hairs went gray."

"The most expensive habit in the world is celluloid, not heroin, and I need a fix every few years."

"I dream for a living."

"Godzilla was the most masterful of all dinosaur movies because it made you believe it was really happening."

"I interviewed survivors, I went to Poland, saw the cities and spent time with the people and spoke to the Jews who had come back to Poland after the war and talked about why they had come back."

"People have forgotten how to tell a story."

"Watching violence in movies or TV programs stimulates the spectators to imitate what they see much more than if seen live or on TV news. In movies, violence is filmed with perfect illumination, spectacular scenery, and in slow motion, making it even romantic. However, in the news, the public has a much better perception of how horrible violence can be, and it is used with objectives that do not exist in the movies."

"I couldn't retire if I hadn't done The Psychiatrist, one thing that was absolutely right! I was a last-minute choice. I hadn't read the script when I came on the set. But I watched Spielberg directing — this kid, this infant in a cowboy hat — and I knew after five minutes we had something. You get so distrustful in this business that you get to expect nothing from a director. If he leaves you alone, he's a good director. But to find one like Spielberg who really brings a scene to life, who genuinely contributes — it makes you want to cry. It's like being an orphan all your life who is suddenly adopted."

"Spielberg has been ridiculed for shooting his actors from below against impossibly Spielbergian skies and a denouement that lays the love on copiously. But there’s nothing simpleminded about how he uses movie magic, as a spell to dispel nihilism, to save us from the worst of ourselves by summoning up the best."

"[Steven Spielberg's films] are comforting, they always give you answers and I don't think they're very clever answers. … The success of most Hollywood films these days is down to fact that they're comforting. They tie things up in nice little bows and give you answers, even if the answers are stupid, you go home and you don't have to think about it. … The great filmmakers make you go home and think about it."

"I think there's a side of me that's trying to compete with Lucas and Spielberg — I don't usually admit this publicly — because I tend to think that they only go so far, and their view of the world is rather simplistic. What I want to do is take whatever cinema is considered normal or successful at a particular time and play around with it — to use it as a way of luring audiences in."

"Steven's films are marked most importantly by a faith in our common humanity. His stories have shaped America's story, and his values have shaped our world."

"An actor entering through the door, you've got nothing. But if he enters through the window, you've got a situation."

"A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don't bury our dead. When you think it's out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot."

"Eighty percent of a picture is writing, the other twenty percent is the execution, such as having the camera on the right spot and being able to afford to have good actors in all parts."

"I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut."

"I just made pictures I would've liked to see."

"Anyone who doesn't believe in miracles isn't a realist."

"That piece of Hollywood shit with Billy Wilder [Buddy Buddy] is over, thank God. No outsider can imagine the stupidity, blustering hysteria, authoritarianism, and paralyzing boredom of shooting a flick for Billy Wilder. The so-called "actors" are simply trained poodles who sit up on their hind legs and jump through hoops. I thought the insanity would never stop. But I got a shitload of money."

"The old-timers thought, Well, fire's bad; we'll get rid of it. That was certainly a mistake. We have to get it back into the system somehow, in safe, controlled ways. That's what I'm into now."

"Create turf, save water. Those are the two main principles. And, you know, keep everything alive. Maintain a game habitat. That's important so that you have an entire system at work. Cattle are going to do better, oddly enough, if the birds are doing good and the deer are doing good. You try to manage the whole thing."

"I'm one of those people who feels that agriculture is a creative act. It's a very fine art — that's the way I approach it."

"It makes me feel like a very special person, that I'm able to make my living with my imagination. I developed a big respect for my calling while I was in school, and it remains with me to this day."

"I'm really concerned about the quality of education in the United States. I think it's going down, and I don't think we spend enough money on it. It's unhealthy for our society that we remove ourselves more and more every day from books, from reading, from writing. All areas of education need more emphasis. I think we're a bit lazy here in America. I believe in the ideal of the classic liberal education, and I also think athletics are very important to the education of young people."

"I refuse to be pessimistic. I don't believe in it. I hope that we can find a way to keep from destroying the earth."

"I was in Switzerland one time. Beautiful country! Great country. And interesting: 500 years without a war! Very impressive. Also very lucky for the Swiss Army! I don't know if you've ever seen that little Swiss Army knife? It's not much of a weapon! [...] If somebody attacks you, what do you pull out? Your nail clippers? "C'mon, buddy! Let's go!" "You get past me, the guy in back of me's got a spoon!""

"My favorite sign: you pull up to the light, and it says "Left Turn Okay". Don't you like that one? A little personal touch! It's like they're sayin' to you "Left Turn? Okay..." "We're not crazy about you makin' the left. It's okay..." Pretty much: "Make it. Get it over with." [...] They should get more involved, with signs like "Right Turn? Why Not?" "U Turn? Enjoy It!""

"Have you ever seen the guy who's got the record for "Fattest Man in the World"? It's an amazing thing: Bob Hughes, 1,400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go! I used to even feel bad, y'know, talkin' about him onstage, 'cause, y'know, somebody-- you could be-- but you could weigh 1,000 pounds and go "He's not talkin' about me." "This is a man with a serious weight problem.""

"I had glasses when I was 10 years old. [...] Somebody puts something on your face at 10, you leave it there; you don't know the difference! I thought I was getting glasses 'cause I couldn't tell what my parents looked like. 'Cause every time I'd ask my mother to buy me something, she'd say "What do I look like? A bank?""

"When you're 10, your parents are the bank! You know what I mean? If I'm 10 and I need money, [can] I walk into Chase Bank and get money? The teller's just gonna say to me "What do I look like? Your mother?" "Hit the road, four-eyes!""

"I also had braces. [...] Glasses at 10, braces at 12: I was thrilled to have these things on my face. I mean, y'know, [I'm] thinkin' about talkin' to a girl for the very first time in my life, I want a lot of corrective apparatus on my head. [pause for laughter] This is what women like! I said to my parents "Let's not stop now! Let's get me a hearing aid! Orthopedic shoes!""

"I want my comedy to be the things nobody else talks about. Not necessarily things people don't want to talk about, but just things that everybody else missed."

"I have a lot of respect for [stand-up] as a craft. I don't see it as just a stepping-stone. I mean, it's a hard life in some ways. But I have a fascination for it."

"[Stand-up is] kind of like catching bullets between your teeth. If you're gonna do it right, it would be something to learn it and then not make a career out of it."

"I like jokes and laughing more than anything. Everybody has an appetite for a different thing. And comedy is something that I have an endless appetite for."

"That's the greatest thing about comedy. If you've got talent, it's unmistakable. No one misses it and you don't have to wait around for a break."

"Stand-up is what I am."

"That is the feeling of life: you've got to go, all the time. You get to your job, what is your first thought? "I want to get home." But you get home, you feel cooped up; you've got to get out. You're out, it's late; you've got to get back. Wherever you are, you've got to get the hell out of there!"

"The fact is: almost everything is funny. You just have to have a way of looking at it."

"I really feel that that's one of the big powers of adulthood, is the ability to be totally bored and remain standing. I think that's why they can set up the DMV that way."

"That's [my dad's] other big advice to me: "easy". I don't know what the hell that means. Every time we lift up something heavy, he goes "Easy now! Take it easy! Easy! Easy!" It's not easy; it's very difficult. Okay? You want easy? Leave it here in the hallway. That's easy."

"Dads feel they know enough about the world to start their own civilization. That's what the family is to them. The fathers think "The hell with life! I can invent my own people. My own rules for fashion. My own health and diet.""

"Dogs are broke their entire lives. And you know why they have no money? No pockets! They have no pockets. They see change on the street, there is nothing they can do about it."

"Being engaged is-- you know what it's like to me? It's like being on the first part of the rollercoaster, where you're just goin' up: (makes ticking noises) "Boy, this looks pretty scary!""

"Now they show you how detergents get out bloodstains on television: pretty violent image, there! I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now. Maybe you ought to get rid of the body before you do the wash."

"To me, clothes spend most of their lives waiting, if you look at it. In the closet, in the hamper, in the drawer. The shirts in your house right now are going "He never picks me...". Laundry day is their only exciting day, 'cause the washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. It's dark, bubbles happening; they're all kind of dancing around in there. A shirt grabs the underwear: "C'mon, babe, let's go!""

"The dumbest thing of all, I think, you can think in a New York cab is "Well, the man knows what he's doing!" "I mean, he is driving a little fast, but he's a professional cab driver. He's got a cab driver's license; I can see it right there." I don't even know what it takes to get a cab driver's license. I think all you need is a face... and a name with, like, eight consonants in a row."

"I always, y'know, idolized people like Bill Cosby and people that were just themselves. I mean, I think the idea of a comedian as someone that you relate to-- I think "comedy star" is almost an oxymoron. You don't look up to comedians like you look at Madonna or, y'know, Elvis, or people like that."

"I was petrified when [my parents] first saw me [perform]. Well, also: because I wasn't really funny as a kid, and I felt like I was, y'know, exposing this alter-ego. Y'know? Plus, here I am getting up on stage and manipulating these people, y'know, into laughing. It's a power thing! Y'know? And it's weird to do it in front of your parents."

"A comedian is basically a very aggressive thing to do. You force people to see things your way so powerfully, they react audibly! They actually-- you force them to react. It's "Look at things the way I look at them, and laugh at it when I say to!""

"I thought "This is the pinnacle of life, to me: if [I] could do this-- y'know, if [I] could stand up on stage and make people laugh, that would be the ultimate accomplishment of my personality!" And I just thought "Laughs! To be working with laughs and jokes all the time: what a fun life that would be!""

"I get an idea, and I think "There's something funny about that." And I don't know what it is, at first; this is how my stuff usually works. Like, I saw-- like, McDonald's having a sign that says "60 Billion [Sold]". And I think "Now, that's-- y'know, there's something very funny about that: that a company of that size is still counting every burger. Y'know? I mean, there's some kind of insecurity there, that you're still thinking "How well-- Are we doing well?" "We're doing well. Aren't we doing well? Look at how many we've sold!""

"The word "pet peeve" is one of my biggest pet peeves, to tell you the truth."

"We all love Michael J. Fox. I'm a big fan of Michael J. Fox. I'm a big fan of Spin City. He plays the mayor, or something. I, on the other hand, play myself! And I guess last year, you people didn't quite buy me as me!"

"Why is commitment the kryptonite of men, super and otherwise? [...] The trouble is that, deep down, most of us men believe we have a great deal in common with superheroes. This is the secret truth of all male thinking. I'm not even supposed to be telling you this. When men are growing up and reading about Batman, Spiderman and Superman, these are not fantasies, these are options."

"Men will always say they love women as a group, but somehow seem to be less fond of them as individuals. Women, on the other hand, often appreciate the man they're with but almost never have anything nice to say about our sex as a group. [...] Women are afraid of men they don't know. Men are afraid of women they know very well."

"I'm a single guy. I date. I think I enjoy it. For me, nothing caps off a week like four hours of solid tension."

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final decision on where your lips end."

"There is absolutely nothing you can do on a date to help you feel better about the tremendously uncomfortable situation you're in. And the reason it's uncomfortable is that no one's on the date for the date. They're on the date to see what's going to happen at the end of the date."

"There's nothing like a kiss to get something started between a man and a woman. When the lips meet, this is the official ignition. The instrument panel lights up. The finger moves across, flipping all the toggle switches up. The engines hum. Something is underway."

"I would say the main competition for the book is the video because for some reason people feel they need to come home with a rectangular block of something that they don't know the end of. The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning."

"Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To us, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur."

"Some people actually cheat on the people that they're cheating with, which is like holding up a bank and then turning to the robber next to you and going, "All right, give me everything you got, too.""

"Remember when you were in school and they'd do those hearing tests? [...] I wanted to do unbelievable on the hearing test. I wanted them to come over to me and go, "We think you may have something close to super-hearing. What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt. We're sending the results to Washington, we'd like you to meet the President.""

"Nobody's really getting in shape for anything. In modern society, you really don't have to be physically strong to do anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercises. That's comedy."

"The other day I was watching women in a department store looking at clothes, and I noticed women don't try on the clothes, they get behind the clothes. They take a dress off the rack and hold it up against themselves. [...] They stick one leg way out and kind of lean back. I guess they need to know, "If someday I'm one-legged at a forty-five-degree angle, what am I going to wear?""

"To men, cleavage is like the nearest thing to a UFO landing nearby, that's what it is. To women, buying a pair of shoes that they really love is like boarding the alien ship. I think it's entirely possible that aliens have landed and they haven't been able to get our attention because we're so preoccupied with cleavage and shoes."

"It's very important for human beings to feel they are popular and well-liked among a large group of people that they have no interest in."

"What is the handicap parking situation at the Special Olympics? They must have to just stack like a hundred cars into those two spots."

"I'm on the plane, we left late, and the pilot says, "We're going to be making up some time in the air." I thought, "Isn't that interesting. They just make up time." That's why you have to reset your watch when you land. Of course, when they say they're making up time, obviously they're increasing the speed of the aircraft. Now my question is, if you can go faster, why don't you just go as fast as you can all the time? "Come on, there're no cops up here! Nail it! Give it some gas!""

"Flying doesn't make me nervous. Driving to the airport can make me nervous. Because if you miss that plane, there's no alternative. [...] No airline goes, "Well, you missed the flight. We do have a cannon leaving in about ten minutes. Would you be interested in that? It's not a direct cannon, you have to change cannons after you land.""

"Frankly, I don't think people think of their office as a workplace anyway. I think they think of it as a stationery store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home."

"Whenever a friend refers a doctor they say, "Make sure you tell him that you know me." Why? What's the difference? He's a doctor. "Oh, you know Bob? Oh, okay. I'll give you the real medicine. Everybody else I'm giving Tic Tacs.""

"The hardest part of being a clown, it seems to me, would be that you are constantly referred to as a clown. [...] How do you even know that you want to be a clown? I guess you just get to a point where your pants look so bad it's actually easier to become a clown than to have the proper alterations done."

"When you want to enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way."

"Don't you hate "To Be Continued"s on TV? [...] I mean the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I've got my life."

"Maybe comets killed the dinosaurs, maybe they tripped and fell. What's the difference? We'll never know. We couldn't solve the Kennedy Assassination, we had films of that. Good luck with the Stegosaurus."

"That's what annoys me about sweepstakes companies, they always tease you with that, "You may have already won," and we all buy into it. [...] I'd like once for a sweepstakes company to have some guts, come out with the truth, just be honest with people one time. Send out envelopes, "You have definitely lost." You turn it over, giant printing, "Not even close!""

"It's not enough that we catch [lobsters], kill them, and eat them. We want to see them in the tank as we walk into the restaurant, sweating it out. [...] I saw one once that looked like he was attempting to clean the inside of the tank. "I just work here.""

"If we really stuck with the classic Greek priorities, a sound mind in a sound body, the only two places we'd ever go is to a library or a gym."

"Neat and clean. That's the way I want to live. My idea of the perfect living room would be the bridge on the Starship Enterprise: big chair, nice TV, remote control. That's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. Hurtling through space in your living room, watching TV."

"Monkeys have contributed a lot to society in their way. They were the first astronauts in the Sixties. Which I'm sure made perfect sense in the monkey brain. "I see, so instead of the little bellhop uniform, you want me to get into a rocket and orbit the earth at supersonic speed. Yeah, I think that is the next logical step for me.""

"When I was a kid, my favorite ride was the bumper cars. What a wonderful fantasy of the driving experience as it could be. All confrontation, no destination. [...] Driving as an act of pure hostility."

"I'll tell you, you get into a hot tub with three or four really old men, this is not the cover of the Club Med brochure. They get out of the tub, it looks like an ad for gravity."

"[Death is] the last big move of your life. The hearse is like the van, the pallbearers are your close friends, the only ones you could really ask to help you with a big move like that. And the casket is that great, perfect box you've been looking for your whole life. The only problem is once you find it, you're in it."

"Do the people that work in these little shops in the airport have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world? "Yeah, $14, tuna sandwich. We think that's fair.""

"You know how the old people drive? They drive slow, they sit low. That is their motto. The state flag of Florida should be just a steering wheel with a hat and two [sets of] knuckles on it. And then that left turn signal on from when they left the house that morning. That's a legal turn in Florida: it's known as an eventual left."

"When you're little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you want is up. "Wait up! Hold up! Shut up!" "Mom, I'll clean up! Let me stay up!" For parents, of course, it's just the opposite: everything is down. "Just calm down!" "Slow down!" "Come down here!" "Sit down!" "Put that down!""

"The whole supermarket itself is designed to break down your sense of having any life outside the supermarket. It's like a casino: there's no clocks, no windows, no easily-accessible exits. You ever not buy anything in the supermarket and try to get out of there? It's impossible. There's no way out."

"I'm very impressed with this seedless watermelon product that they have for us. They've done it! We now have seedless watermelon. Pretty amazing! What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon, I wonder? The melons aren't humpin', are they? They must be plantin' somethin'!"

"Nobody wants anything less than "extra strength". "Extra strength" is the absolute minimum. You can't even get "strength"; "strength" is out now. It's all "extra strength". Some people are not satisfied with "extra"; they want "maximum". "Give me the 'maximum strength'." "Give me the maximum allowable human dosage." "Figure out what will kill me and then back it off a little bit.""

"I was best man at a wedding one time; that was pretty good. Pretty good title, I thought: "best man". I thought it was a bit much! I thought we'd have the groom and a pretty good man. That's more than enough. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?"

"Men and women will never understand each other; we all know that. It's just not gonna happen; just forget it. I know I will not understand women. I know I will never be able to understand how a woman could take boiling hot wax, pour it on her upper thighs, rip the hair out by the root... and still be afraid of a spider."

"Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world today! Wherever women are, we have men looking into the situation right now. We explored the Earth looking for women... even went to the Moon just to see if there [were] any women there. That's why we brought that little car. Why would you bring a car, unless there's some chance of going on a date?"

"Dating is not easy. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. "Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the position! Why don't you strip down, meet some of the people you'll be workin' with?""

"To a man, sex is like a car accident, anyway, and determining a female orgasm is like being asked "What did you see after the car went out of control?" "Well, I remember I heard a lot of screeching noises, I was facing the wrong way at one point, and in the end, my body was thrown clear!""

"I think, if I was an Olympic athlete, I would rather come in last than win the silver... if you think about it. Y'know, you win the gold, you feel good; you win the bronze, you think "Well, at least I got something." But you win that silver, that's like: "Congratulations! You... almost won." "Of all the losers, you came in first... of that group." "You're the number one... loser." "No one lost... ahead of you.""

"The luge is the only sport I've ever seen that you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would be exactly the same. Y'know, if they were just grabbin' people off the street: "Hey! Hey, hey! What is this? I don't want to be in the luge!" Y'know, you put the helmet on 'em, you wouldn't really hear 'em screaming; just: (whoosh) "You're in the luge, buddy!" (panicked screams) World record. Didn't even want to do it! I want to see that event next year: the involuntary luge."

"I saw a thing, actually-- a study that said: speaking in front of a crowd is considered the #1 fear of the average person. I found that amazing! #2 was death. Death is #2? This means, to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy."

"There are many things we can point to as proof that the human being is not smart. The helmet is my personal favorite: the fact that we had to invent the helmet. Now, why did we invent the helmet? Well, because we were participating in many activities that were crackin' our heads. We looked at the situation. We chose not to avoid these activities, but to just make little plastic hats so that we can continue our head-crackin' lifestyles. The only thing dumber than the helmet is the helmet law, the point of which is to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly, it's not even tryin' to stop the cracking of the head that it's in!"

"I think we should all wear the same exact clothes... because it seems to be what happens eventually, anyway. Any time you see a movie or a TV show where there's people from the future -- or another planet -- they're all wearin' the same outfit. I think the decision just gets made: "Alright, everyone, from now on, it's just gonna be the one-piece silver suit with the V-stripe and the boots. That's the outfit.""

"It is amazing what people will believe. I mean, I've watched these infomercials late at night: if it gets late enough, the products start to look good to me. I have actually found myself sitting there thinking "Y'know... I don't think I have a knife that can cut through a shoe..." "I don't think any of my knives are good enough to cut through shoes!" "I'm gonna get this knife and cut my shoes up.""

"So feeble, the things we come up with to foil crooks: like the "wanted" posters at the post office? You're there, you got your package; you're tryin' to mail somethin'. This guy's wanted in twelve states. "Yeah? Now what? Okay?" Y'know, I check the guy standing in line behind me. If it's not him, that's pretty much all I can do. Why don't they just hold on to this guy when they're taking his picture?"

"I watch Sesame Street a lot [these days] because I have two little kids. And a lot of people ask me, y'know, would I ever consider doing another show, and... I sit there, and I watch this "Elmo" guy; and he is so likeable, and so funny, and so charming. And I sit there with my daughter, and I think "Let him bust his little red ass every week!""

"The equivalent for a normal person would be to go in to work in your underwear... and try and do your job that you normally do. All of a sudden, you can't do anything. That's how a comedian feels when he's doing a new bit."

"When you're crafting an act, you need to see how that material works in front of each different type of situation."

"Twenty minutes is not comedy. An hour, an hour and fifteen minutes: that's comedy, y'know? You learn how to open, how to sustain, how to pace."

"What is this urge to get information we already have? Whenever I'm in a car, and I drive by a mirrored office building, I look in the reflection to see if I'm in the car. This is information I already have! What am I looking for? Why am I checking? And what would I do if I looked and I saw that there was a small Korean woman driving my car?"

"I always say your number of years in comedy is about your maturity level. When you're doing it ten years, you're like a 10-year-old. Fifteen, you're like a 15-year-old; you're start-- a slight bit of maturity. Twenty years, you're like-- kind of a grown-up, but still completely infantile."

"I have this image in my mind of what a comedian's supposed to be... that I'm always trying to live up to, and that I always fall short of. [...] I'm the show for the night. I have to make that evening work for those people."

"When I was starting out, I used to sit down and write a couple times a week. And then, one day, I was watching these construction workers go back to work; I was watchin' 'em kind of trudgin' down the street... and I was just-- It was like a revelation to me, and I realized "These guys don't want to go back to work after lunch, but they're goin... 'cause that's their job!" And I [thought] "If they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job, I should be able to do the same." "Just trudge your ass in!""

"Any new technology: it just gets translated into a sexual form. Home video? "Sex video!" Phone? "Phone sex!" Internet? "Porno website!" Copy machine? "Put your ass on it!""

"I'm supposed to get the colonoscopy test. When you get into your forties, I think-- I have heard -- from the healthcare professionals -- that you-- it's very important to get the camera up your ass. I have resisted this... because I feel the press has invaded my life enough. [pause for laughter] I feel that I will draw the line here, and say "no" to the pooparazzi."

"The question is this: "What have I been doing?" Everybody says to me "Hey, you don't do the show anymore! What do you do?" I'll tell you what I do. Nothin'! [pause for applause] Yeah, I know what you're thinkin': "That sounds pretty good!" You're thinkin' "I might like to do nothing myself!" Well, let me tell you: doing nothing is not as easy as it looks. You have to be careful... because the idea of doin' anything, which could easily lead to doin' somethin'... that would cut into your nothin'... and that would force [you] to have to drop everything."

"I used to sit in my room at... let's see: how old-- I was ten years old... playing [Bill Cosby's] albums and just crying laughing, and just in wonderment at what he was doing, and just-- that I had never heard somebody be so funny before."

"I've already done something, and [Bill] reminded me of that. And now, this-- I really just want to do what I love to do... and I want to go where he's gone. Y'know? I want to be able to explore this [comedy] thing and maybe find some-- That's what I keep thinking: that maybe there's something else out there! I just feel like I can go somewhere with it. I don't know where."

"[Seinfeld] was gonna be a 90-minute special that was gonna fill in for Saturday Night Live one weekend-- one Saturday night when they were off. [...] And I just didn't think that you could sustain that for 90 minutes. I thought maybe you could do it for 30 minutes. And that's how it became a TV series. It was gonna be a special all the way, but I just didn't think we could last 90 minutes. So, instead, we ended up makin' 90 hours."

"[Larry and I] had a lot of fun writing then. We always had fun writing; it was never a struggle. I don't remember us ever really racking our brains too much in writing. We had a great chemistry."

"I don't remember when I saw the testing results, but it's really one of everyone's favorite things about [Seinfeld], is how poorly it was received by the network people. [...] My favorite thing in the testing is that the show was considered "contemporary, unusual, humorous, and appealing to young adults: therefore, not something that we would want". (laughs)"

"Once we got [Julia], I was absolutely convinced, from then on, that nothing could really hurt the show. That it really-- It just felt like a balanced team."

"You almost kind of knew you were on the right track, when people at the network didn't like it. I mean, I wanted them to like it, but we weren't going to, y'know, really change the tone of the show. I couldn't have done a show any other-- I couldn't have done any other show than that show; I just wouldn't have-- wouldn't know how to do it!"

"NBC -- when we suggested that we wanted to do this one-set idea where the gang just waits for a table the entire show and never gets it -- they thought that was very static and not appealing. And they didn't like-- want us to write it, they didn't want us to film it; and after we filmed it, they held it back and didn't run it until towards the end of the season, 'cause they were so sure that this was going to really be one of the real bombs of the season."

"The idea that you have two guys who've never written a show being run by a network executive that had never had a show, leading to a show that has a unique and unusual feel: this is a model that all the networks subsequently ignored -- and never did again -- except for HBO! I think HBO-- I don't know if they really knew that that's how our show evolved, but that's a network that hires people that they like and says... that's the end of their job! "We like you; do what you think you should do." And it leads to much more distinctive programming!"

"The journey of someone coming in the room with an idea for something, and then saying "Yeah, that sounds good; let's do that", and then, the-- it going into an outline form, and then a script form, and then a read-through, and then a rewrite, and then a rehearsal, and then more rewrite, more rehearsal, then a shoot night, and then an editing process, and then finally going on the air, is essentially an off-road egg race where you carry the egg in a spoon."

"[The writers] knew they were talking to odd guys, y'know? Larry and I were odd guys. So they wouldn't come in-- They-- Y'know, I mean, they would come in and pitch, and obviously, some things would hit, and some things would miss, but they never thought "This is too crazy for these guys." Nobody would think that... 'cause clearly, we were capable of just about anything!"

"There was a tone we set with the writing staff -- that Larry set -- that it had to be original; it had to be unique. It-- it had to be something very funny and very fresh."

"I remember somebody coming in and pitching me an idea one time, and I'm saying "No. No, I don't think so." And-- and the writer said to me "But we've done this so many times before!" And I went "That is not a point in its favor!""

"Larry and I just had that great cross filter: if both of us kind of related to [an idea] in some way, it seemed to work."

"[Larry and I] were all about writing. We didn't really want to hear from anybody, talk to anybody. It was just writing and-- and rehearsing. The casting was quick; editing was quick. Everything else we did very quickly, but we labored over the writing."

"That takes a lot of work: to set up six different scenes that are not on stage, plus do a stage show in front of an audience. It's a production issue that the average fan wasn't aware of, but I think they appreciated-- It gave the show a vitality and an expansiveness."

"I was in every room: from the writing room to the stage, to the editing room, to the rewrite, and I knew what the original intent always was."

"I used to say that each season was a transatlantic submarine voyage: that you would load up the sub with all the supplies -- y'know, you-- we would do pre-production: we would come up with outlines and story ideas, and get as much stuff as we could in advance -- but once that-- we shoved off and we were out into the ocean, you just-- you quickly went through your supplies about a third of the way, and then, you would just start at eating each other to get through the season."

"It was always heartbreaking. You could get [an idea] all the way to the edit... and it-- and it falls apart. You got it all that way and right before it's in the-- just as it goes in the show, you go "That's not the right angle... and it's not funny at all now." And even though you had it all that way, and then, just at the last moment, you just "Oh! You dropped the egg!" Splat."

"This was really one of Larry's most brilliant ideas for the show, was these arcs; and this was one of the best ones, was George and Jerry tryin' to get this pilot on NBC."

"My friend Larry Miller used to come by the set all the time. And I said to him "Y'know, for the life of me, I can't figure out why this show isn't really popular." He [said] "Oh, don't worry! It will be." Y'know? And I said "Come on! We've been here four years!" [...] And he kept sayin' to me "It's gonna catch on!" [I was] thinking "'Catch on'?" Y'know? You don't suddenly catch on, y'know, after you've been on TV for four years! And-- but sure enough, he was right!"

"We weren't really trying to gain more attention or-- We certainly weren't trying to be provocative in any way. We were just -- as any TV show is -- constantly struggling to come up with new ideas. And when you're struggling, bad ideas start to sound like good ideas. And crazy ideas start to sound like sane ideas! And that's what happened in Season 4, is a lot of crazy ideas started to make sense."

"[George is] like the kind of guy that you hang around with in New York who's not in the [stand-up] business, but he's been your friend for a long time and you're just kind of-- In the important ways, you're too similar to ever not be friends. [...] Even though your lives are in completely different places, the friendship survives, 'cause in the important ways of shallowness and neurotic exploration of meaningless detail: that's where you bonded."

"Whenever an idea would come out that was too crazy for me, it would always fit George perfectly. George was really a catch-all for a lot of ideas. He was a guy who you could "buy" doing any number of extreme problem-solving techniques."

"George never felt guilty that he was trying to cheat someone, because he had already been cheated, as far as he was concerned! He was just getting a small amount back from the casino that had already totally emptied out his bank account!"

"I don't think there's another TV series that you could name where the list of absolutely outstanding characters is so long. You-- you can't even begin to just say "Well, it was a show about four people"; it wasn't. I mean, they would've-- [Seinfeld] wouldn't have lasted so long -- at the level that it was at -- if it was just the four of us every week."

"The beautiful thing that Michael discovered-- and I don't know at what point it was; maybe it was the second year [of Seinfeld]: he was playing Kramer a little slower than the other three characters, a little dumber. And then, he got the idea that he should play it that everyone else is dumber than him. And that was the key to it. Once he got that: then, the character just took off!"

"Larry had a great word for [Julia]: he said that she gives [Seinfeld] "luster". [...] And she did; she was like the pearl that smoothed over all this kind of rough, kind of low-minded behavior of the other three characters."

"That last [season], I really felt like-- was really a gift to the audience, 'cause I was really done after the eighth. But I decided to take a deep breath and try and do one last season, because the audience support that we enjoyed was just phenomenal."

"The trouble with [writing a screenplay] is: you have this story, which is such a nuisance! Y'know, in stand-up, you just tell the funny part. But in a movie, the audience demands that you tell them some sort of story that makes sense. And this was a tremendous handicap for me [on Bee Movie], because [the story] frankly doesn't interest me that much."

"I always felt like I was very much a "hook"-less comedian, and that I would always be hook-less. And that-- I thought "Maybe that's my hook!" Y'know? That I just don't have anything that you latch onto as "He's the guy who does this" or "looks like this"."

"Stand-up is the only thing that I knew -- that I could be sure -- that I-- if I was doing it, and audiences were responding well, that I wasn't cheating. 'Cause there is no way to cheat, in stand-up! It's the naked-est, purest thing in the world."

"A stand-up act is like a tennis game: I mean, even if you're good, you gotta keep playing if you want to keep that game at a certain point."

"There's always this thing with "Well, he's no Richard Pryor!" Y'know? And I always, y'know, would apologize for not being raised by prostitutes in a whorehouse. It was just-- there was just very little I could do about it! And I try to overcome it as best I can."

"You start to know, on stage, when to get off. There's just this feeling that you develop from years and years of doing it; you just feel that "We're getting-- Everyone's really having a good time... and I think, in another few minutes, this is going to start to get old... 'Good night, everybody!'" And everyone's happy! [...] It's just... proportions. Y'know? I guess it's a function of art and economy: that economy is essential to all good art. And I thought "Let's-- " Even though we had done a lot [of Seinfeld]: nine years, 180 episodes, I thought "We can't do one too many, or it's gonna taint the whole thing.""

"When the Beatles ended, it was so sudden, and it made what they did somehow more valuable. 'Cause it-- just suddenly, it was over, and that's it. That's the complete set. Y'know? Nine years, twelve albums, whatever it is: that's it. So, I kind of took from that "I want to try and do that"."

"Pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. When you stub your toe on the foot of the bed, that was a gap in knowledge. And the pain is a lot of information really quick. That's what pain is."

"Do you think if they only made one Hangover -- and didn't make the other two -- it would be considered a comedy classic? Do you think that you destroyed what would have been a comedy classic, by the cash grab of II and III?"

"All dads dress in the style of the last good year of their lives."

"When I go to see somebody work, I don't want to see your "new hour". I want to see the act!"

"No one is more judged in civilized society than the stand-up comedian. Every twelve seconds, you're rated."

"All I had to do was do [stand-up] once, and I didn't-- Really, success wasn't my objective; it was just "I wanna be one of those guys!" If I can be one of those guys, I'm-- I win everything!"

"Really good bits go deep into your head and keep comin' back."

"My first bit that I thought "That's a real bit!" was about the tramway between Manhattan and Roosevelt Island. 1976: the city was going bankrupt. I go "Oh! That's great! They're putting up rides for us! Next thing, I guess they'll be putting up a rollercoaster through the ghetto!""

"One of the things that bothered me about acting is that a lot of people just say they can do it and-- and can't! There's nobody in this world [of comedy] that says they can do it and can't do it."

"You can't be the one who decides why you like something. It doesn't matter!"

"I think we [comedians] deal with fear more viscerally than almost anyone! I mean, you feel the audience's fear, your own fear. The whole show is about quelling fear!"

"I think that comedy is the be-all and end-all."

"One of the things that the comedian mindset requires is laziness."

"Fear is funny. Especially when it's not fake!"

"All human endeavor is killing time. All of it."

"Being a dad is-- y'know, it's a surfboard on a rainbow. You're gettin' all you can handle of life."

"The improvements in the engineering of cars has enabled people to express their inner asshole-ness. You think "Why are people [today] so ill-behaved?" They're not! They just never had the tools to express it before."

"Most things that are weird are not "weird good"."

"The idea of bosses and employees is just hilarious to us [comedians]! [...] It's such a typically human attempt to organize what is un-organizable: life."

"Do you think that's how life ends? That you just-- really just go "It's enough. I had enough." I know when my time comes, that how I'm gonna feel. I already feel that way!"

"I like that [obituaries] boil the whole guy's life down to "Invented the ballpoint-pen spring"."

"The timing of the check coming at the end of the meal makes no sense. 'Cause that's when the food is the least interesting to you."

"I could talk about comedy a lot, but I think it's kind of like talking about sex: you can do any fancy dive you want, [but] it's just a foot of water."

"Jail is such a-- really a way that a grown-up would punish a child. "You go in there and you stay in there!""

"We're all tryin' to get to the same island. Whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light comes on."

"Our job is not for us to enjoy it. Our job is to make sure they enjoy it, and that's what we did [on Seinfeld]."

"[The comedy brain] picks up so much, except a lot of basic stuff that you need."

"God has no rhyme or reason to who he gives a sense of humor to."

"Have you noticed the popularity of Ultimate Fighting and The Real Housewives? These two things are two weights on the same barbell. What it is, I think, is the worst aspects of each gender exaggerated to the maximum."

"I've figured out that the "non-event" is the best part of life."

"The comedy universe is a swamp of madness."

"I don't think comedy has changed, and it never will change."

"Comedy is the closest thing to justice. If you're funny, you survive; if you're not, you don't."

"It really speaks to how bad [American] food is, that it's work."

"If you give someone a 50, it's a big "thing" now, where they check it quite a bit. And it's like "Well, I used it! Why can't you use it?" We're all just kind of going along with this "paper has value" scam. Right?"

"I always feel like -- before you get a dog -- someone should take a pyramid of Alpo cans and a pyramid of dog shit, and put the dog in the middle. "Now, what we're gonna do... is you're gonna buy all of this and turn it into this. Do you still want to do this?""

"The truth ends every conversation."

"Somebody was sayin' [somethin'] the other day about "You gotta be funny, or they'll turn on you!" [...] And I go "They should turn on you!" It's a very humbling life, at any level."

"I don't know why people always assume that the guest is more interesting than the host."

"Do you know the first thing I said as a child, before I said "Mama" or "Dada"? I said "Leave me alone!" (laughs) Is that not the mantra of stand-up comedy?"

"A [stand-up] bit is a bar of gold. A talk-show panel story is something that's too good to throw out but not good enough to use."

"The real motivation of bein' a comedian is if you really love the sound of a laugh. And if you love that, you will never want to stop."

"Comedians have such an intense allergy to pretension."

"I don't think I felt "at home" on Earth, as a human, until I walked into a comedy club."

"It was the back nine [episodes of a season], was the backbreaker for us, right? You [can] kind of figure out the first ten over the summer; you pull three more out of nowhere; and then the back nine is just-- you're Sandra Bullock in Gravity."

"The comedian studies himself; the actor studies other people. The comedian wants to be himself; the actor wants to be anyone but themselves."

"Comedy is more personal than food."

"I'll tell you the greatest thing that I've ever achieved in my career: I was on the cover of Mad magazine. And of course, I'm saying "Hello Neuman.""

"To me, America used to be a place that made steel, and cars, and had giant department stores. Now, basically, we produce amateur talent and people [who] judge amateur talent."

"Poetry is bad standup. It's carefully chosen words that have no laugh at the end.*"

"I've probably been working on this [Pop Tart bit] for two years. [...] It's a long time to spend on something that means absolutely nothing. But that's what I do; that's what people want me to do, is spend a lot of time wastefully... so that then, I can then waste their time!"

"I like the first line to be funny right away. "When I was a kid, and they invented the Pop Tart, the back of my head blew right off!" And that got the whole thing started: that a specific part of my head blew off; not just my head, but just the back."

""In the midst of that dark and hopeless moment, the Pop Tart suddenly appeared in the supermarket! And we just stared at it like [it was] an alien spacecraft and we were like... chimps in the dirt playing with sticks." [...] What makes that joke is you get "chimps", "dirt", "playing", and "sticks". In seven words, four of them are funny!"

"How did they know that there would be a need for a frosted, fruit-filled, heatable rectangle in the same shape as the box it comes in, and with the same nutrition as the box it comes in?"

"I'm looking for the connective tissue that give me the really tight, smooth link, like a jigsaw-puzzle link, and if it's too long-- if it's just a split-second too long [...] [I] will shave letters off of words, [I'll] count syllables, y'know, to get it just-- It's more like songwriting."

"That's the hardest part: if you have a long bit, the biggest laugh has to be at the end. It has to be!"

"Once this Pop Tart had come into the world, I didn't understand why we were still eating other kinds of food. 'Cause this seemed to be definitely the new way. [...] Two in the packet and two slots in the toaster. 'Why two?' One's not enough; three's too many. And they can't go stale, 'cause they were never fresh."

"In my world, the wrong-er somethin' feels, the right-er it is. So, to waste this much time on something this stupid is-- that's-- that felt good to me. [...] It's the exact opposite of what we do here at the Times, which is: we spend appropriate amounts of time on deserving subjects. So, I'm the exact opposite of that: inappropriate and undeserving subjects."

"When it's your name on the goddamn show... the pressure is-- it's intense! And then, the show got successful, and everybody expected each week to be even better than the last, and it was a lot of pressure. And I loved every second of it, but it was a lot of pressure and a lot of work, and it was all great, but: never could have accomplished it without [Transcendental Meditation]."

"You don't need to die for what you want to accomplish. And that's what TM is about. [...] I came up with the line that "TM is like you have a cell phone and someone gives you the charger... and you go Oh... this is-- now, I can keep using this thing and it will work all the time!'.""

"You know that tremendous feeling of power, when your phone is fully charged? And somebody calls, and you go "I want to hear every detail of this story! I am loaded with juice!" That's what TM is."

"Working with the [Seinfeld] cast was pure heaven for me. We were as well suited to each other as it seems when you watch the show."

"If you can walk to work or take your bike on a daily basis, I think that's just about the coolest thing that there is. Every morning I listen to the traffic [report] on the radio, and they talk about how they are jammed and I just laugh."

"I chose comedy because I thought it seemed much easier than work. And more fun than work. It turned out to be much harder than work, and not easy at all. But you still don't have to ever really grow up. And that's the best thing of all."

"The pitch for [Seinfeld], the real pitch, when Larry and I went to NBC in 1988, was we want to show how a comedian gets his material. The show about nothing was just a joke in an episode many years later, and Larry and I to this day are surprised that it caught on as a way that people describe the show, because to us it's the opposite of that."

"Never try and make a comedian laugh with one of his own jokes."

"The thing about [Seinfeld] is that you have to realize that I had to look into the faces of those people, six inches away, so if you think Kramer is funny on TV, imagine his real face six inches from your nose, how funny that is. You can't imagine. It's impossible not to laugh. So I would."

"Very early on in my career, I hit upon this idea of being the Heckle Therapist. So that when people would say something nasty, I would immediately become very sympathetic to them and try to help them with their problem and try to work out what was upsetting them, and try to be very understanding with their anger. It opened up this whole fun avenue for me as a comedian, and no one had ever seen that before."

"I still think everything has its life cycle and if you respect it, people enjoy it longer."

"[Larry and I] never obsess over anything that isn't mundane."

"I was happy with the Seinfeld finale because we didn't want to do another episode as much as we wanted to have everybody come back to the show we had so much fun with. It was a way to thank all of the people who worked on the show over the years that we thought made the show work."

"You may have noticed that I tend to quit things soon after doing them, like TV series, animated movies, book writing, broadway plays. I do feel very strongly in stopping the second I feel like I'm not excited anymore, whatever I'm doing."

"The only line I quote from [Seinfeld] [...] is "If you're one of us, you'll take a bite." [...] Sometimes I'll quote Newman in flames screaming "Oh the humanity.""

"Newman would be my favorite supporting character. I mean, when I got to have a real evil nemesis like Superman would have, that was a dream come true for me."

"When I started out in comedy in the 70s, if you didn't do clean humor you weren't getting on TV, so I started doing that so I could be on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And then when I saw what other people were doing, I just always wanted to be a little different."

"Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work."

"I would say that I am 90% serious in my day. Comedy is no joke."

"When I heard that they were going to do a sitcom with a secret agent who was funny, that it was going to be a comedy secret agent TV show, and it was going to be called "Get Smart," the back of my head blew off. So that was really my favorite show when I was a kid."

"I would go so far as to say that was the key to the entire [Seinfeld] show, was that we really felt like together we were funny, and then the audience felt it, and that's how you can somehow catch lightning in a bottle."

"We improvised virtually nothing [on Seinfeld], as a matter of fact. That's how good the actors were, that it sometimes seems like they are improvising. But we also knew each other so well that we knew exactly what sentences to put in their mouths that would seem natural."

"The way I look at life, basically, is: it's exhausting. And... (laughs) Doing-- Being busy is exhausting; doing nothing is exhausting. No matter what you do... as a human -- on Earth -- it's exhausting."

"I don't separate the mind and the body, as a thing. If my body's tired, my mind's tired; if my mind's tired, my body's tired. [...] People say "Mind and body! Mind and body!", and that-- and I dismiss that separation completely."

"Nobody goes berserk eating in the morning. You never wake up in the morning and eat a decent breakfast, and then attack a box of brownies. You don't do it. But at night, we all do it! Why? We're tired. And when you're tired, your willpower goes away. Willpower requires energy."

"There was [an] incredible amount of luck -- good luck -- that I had, that made [Seinfeld] what it was. On the other hand, I could argue against that. I could say "I'm the one who said to Larry David: 'Y'know, when you and I talk, it's really funny. We should write something together'.""

"We worked to death. Y'know? That's what Larry and I did. We did not rest, we did not... spare an ounce of effort; we would just order people out of the room: "Get out! Get out! We're working!" Y'know? And we-- And that's why those scripts were as good as they were: 'cause when they got to that table, and those actors got 'em, they were worked. So: is that luck? I don't think so. That wasn't luck. That was-- We earned that."

"When I think of the things that I love: more than money, more than love, more than... just about anything, I love energy. I love it. And I pursue it."

"That's the first thing an audience wants to feel when someone gets up on a stage: "Does this person know what they're doing?" "'Cause if they do, then I can relax." And when you're trying to elicit laughter, that's-- they have to be relaxed. If they're worried about you, the laughs are harder to get."

"Stand-up is a physical challenge. It is a mental challenge, but equally physical. And when you're young, of course, it's a breeze! 'Cause you're blessed with youth. Y'know? The ultimate weapon is youth, in life."

"The specific element that occurs in every single successful joke is surprise. Surprise. A line of logic is going one way, and then, it doesn't. I call it "making non-sense". You go "That doesn't make any sense, but I get it." That-- That's the words that people use to describe a joke: "I got it.""

"I find things that you've thought of, but don't-- that you're aware of, but haven't really analyzed. And that's the whole act!"

"Stand-up is a very scientific and very exhaustive study of the human experience."

"If you want to be funny, you've got to have energy. Energy sells jokes. All sales requires energy, but stand-up is a hard sell. I'm sellin' you somethin' you don't even need!"

"[Stand-up is] a martial art. It's voice, it's action, it's gesture; and everything is synchronized to land on that [weakest] point. You ever watch these karate guys? They hit that brick: it's a perfect arrow that hits that target, and when it-- and it's perfect! It's a concentration of energy. And that's what elicits the laugh."

"The first thing I want to do [on stage] is: I want you to have confidence in me. Well, how am I gonna do that? I'm gonna take the joke that fails the least amount of [the] time, and I'm gonna put that at the front of the set. It's just tech-- it's scientific technique. [...] If the first thing I say gets a laugh: at that moment, 100% of everything I've said gets a laugh! And now, I've got your confidence."

"Comedy -- and show business -- is-- look: either I win, or you win. There's no truce! Same thing with television: I knew that [Seinfeld]-- I knew-- look: either you're gonna kill me, or I'm gonna kill you. And after nine years, I was still killin' that series, but that series would eventually have killed me."

"I'm not a big fan of the "long set" in comedy. Guys like to go on, like to do an hour and 45 minutes. The audience will win if you stay out there too long! [...] I want to go out. I want to get you down. I want to beat the snot out of you and get out of there before you realize that I... beat the odds!"

"I know people would want a-- a [Seinfeld] reunion show. That's what I want. My theory of show business is "Do not give the public what it wants." [...] When people stop asking you for the reunion, then you know you've blown it."

"If you really want to make money, never make a decision based on money. 'Cause if you make-- if you chase money, you're gonna get less of it. If you chase a thing that you love -- that's interesting -- only because you love that thing, you'll make more money. I-- I just believe that's-- in the arts, that's the only way to make money, is to never consider money as a part of your decision."

"Stand-up is now easy to learn, harder to master because once you get halfway decent at it, [...] you can do other things. And if you do one other thing, you're not gonna get good at it; it's just too damn hard."

"Funny is the-- is the world that I live in. You're funny? I'm interested. You're not funny? I'm not interested."

"That's one of-- a beautiful thing about having kids, is you reproduce people that you can relate to."

"I think it's a dangerous thing for comedians to mature or-- too much. And my wife will tell you I'm doing a fantastic job of not maturing too much."

"The idea of [Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee], honestly, was to try and create something that fit a whole new medium. I really was thinking "What would be a good TV show for a phone?" That was really where I started. And I thought "This would be fun for a phone, 'cause you don't have to follow a story.""

"I pretty much engage with funny people, or weird people, or, y'know, kind of "off" people. Anybody who's a little normal -- even just take, let's say, a normal actor or actress -- I'm lost. I got nothin'. I'm not curious; I'm not interested. You got a show? I don't care."

"Being funny has not that much to do with what a great comedy act is about. A great comedy act is a machine that's built. Being funny is the fuel, but you gotta have a whole machine to burn it, and that's the act."

"For some reason, this is the big question that a regular person will ask you after a show: "How do you remember [all that]?" I don't know why they ask that. You don't have anything else to remember!"

"The TV only works one way. You can't just yell at me and expect me to respond positively. You have to introduce yourself first. You can't just yell "HEY JERRY, C'MERE!" and expect that to work."

"Who would I cast to play me? [...] You know who I think would be good? Would be Matthew Broderick. He's got a good small funny. You need a small funny to play a comedian, not a big funny. Most comedians, you know, in their daily life are small funny, it's the little looks, the little things that they say, they're not clown-y."

"I could have easily done [Seinfeld] for one or two or three more years, but it would have changed the way people look back at it. I think I made the right decision. Because people like the show now even more than they did in the 1990s, because it didn't get worn out."

"I'm very good at streamlining a series of activities so that everything gets done in the amount of time that I have. I am very good with the clock. Like if I have a lot of stuff to do and a limited amount of time, I'm very good at figuring it all out. I'm very efficient in everything that i do, I never waste time so that I have more time to waste."

"No. Books take a long time, and I don't get to hear the laughs."

"There is a similar kind of feel for rhythm and tone in comedy as there is in music, I think. You have to, you know, words - you use words in the same careful way in a song that you use them in a joke. Having just the right word in just the right place seems to make it work."

"At one point, in the early 80s, I got a part on a sitcom called Benson. And I was on the show for 3 episodes, and then I got fired. And I thought that would be the only break I was ever going to get. It was just a youthful lack of perspective. But at the time, I thought that was it. But it really ended up making me really get into being a much better standup comedian so that I wouldn't be dependent on other people. It ended up being a good thing. The best things in my life have been the bad things that taught me stuff."

"I think funny is always kind of time-proof, so I think [Seinfeld] could have worked even today. Obviously it would have been a completely different type of show. But you know, what made the show work was the bringing together a bunch of great actors & great writers in one place at one time."

"I felt as a child that i related more to blue than my own name. I have a very powerful connection with that color. And it's always been extremely important to me. It's weird, I don't understand it myself, but there's certain blues - Jeep Wrangler makes a blue that will make me stop walking on the sidewalk, and just turn and stare at it."

"A cat is a small sneaky animal that manages to get by without any real relationships."

"I would say the advice I would give [my younger self], or any young person, would be "Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success.""

"I don't see people in the audience, I'm in an ultra-focused state when I'm onstage, I only go by sound - I listen to the audience but I don't look at anything in particular. I'm really visualizing the stuff I'm talking about."

"I don't know if the average person would like [being famous]. I really like it. I think it might surprise them that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. I think most people think of it as a problem, but it's all in how you look at it. But I do think that's the case, you get a lot more than it costs you in privacy invasion or whatever."

"Truthfully, I loved working on every episode [of Seinfeld], we just had the best time and got along great, and there were a number of years when the show wasn't successful and we still loved it."

"I was very surprised by Festivus catching on, but I think people just like the line rhyming Festivus with "rest of us" is 90% of it. And no presents, and you don't have to buy decorations, it's just an aluminum pole."

"It really is funny, it's very easy for me to remember that [Seinfeld] was very unsuccessful for a number of years, the first 4 years, and I remember thinking "I don't know why people don't seem to like this, it seems so funny to me." But I never thought it was going to be a big success. But it worked out."

"The worst advice is, you know, you have to do more to promote yourself. That's the worst advice. The best advice is to do your work, and you won't have to worry about anything else."

"Being old is great. There's so many things that you're done with. Like running really fast. I was single until I was 45, and I liked that, but then I couldn't take it anymore. So when you're old, you get to relax a little bit. And you can see much more clearly of what's going on in the world. When you're young, everything is really confusing, and when you're old you can see through people and events really clearly, and I like that a lot."

"I think it's very strange that men like dogs and women like cats because women want attention and men want to be left alone, it should be the complete opposite."

"I love advertising because I love lying. [pause for laughter] In advertising, everything is the way you wish it was. I don't care that it won't be like that when I actually get the product being advertised, because in between seeing the commercial and owning the thing, I'm happy! And that's all I want."

"We are a hopeful species. Stupid, but hopeful."

"I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy!"

"If your things don't make you happy, you're not getting the right things!"

"I have always wanted a Clio. I don't know much about it... but I know it's a good award, because in 1991, they screwed up this whole presentation, and there were a bunch of awards left over, and all of these ad people here climbed up onto the stage and tried to grab them! So, to me, that says: "This means something!" That really happened, and it's my all-time favorite award-show occurrence because it was so honest. People just said "I want a damn Clio", and they went for it."

"Thank you all for this great honor, and for all your great work. I hope it makes you happy, as you have made me happy for this five minutes of my life, which will last until I get to the edge of this stage and it hits me that this was all a bunch of nonsense."

"I was a minimalist from the beginning. I think that's why I've always done well as a comedian. [...] If you always want less, in words as well as things, you'll do well as a writer."

"Bee Movie was a very unhappy experience, from start to finish. I remember standing in the back of the theater and it wasn't great, but it was decent and, and I remember listening to their laughs and thinking, These laughs are shit. That was not worth it."

"Once I'm done with [a] bit, it either goes in the garbage or the accordion folder. Those are the only two destinations. And then it's in the air. It has to survive on its own. Bits are like turtles right after they hatch, running to the beach."

"[Seinfeld] gave me everything, and that was always my thought when I was doing it. If I sacrifice every cell of energy that I have doing this, the rest of my life will be pretty good. So I just died on the shield. I went to the point where I thought, If I keep going, I could lose my sanity. That was how far I took it mentally."

"I've always loved getting sold [on something]. That's true of all good salesmen. All good salesmen love to get taken in by a pitch."

"What's wrong with [pursuing vanity projects]? [...] If there's no vanity, that's the end of show business."

"The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge."

"Should I mention the other shows that were on at [the same time as Seinfeld]? 'Unsolved Mysteries'? 'Alf'? Where are they? Why is there no Hulu deal for them?"

"It might be fun to see what it's like to run something into the ground. I missed out on that. I'm curious about it. I want to know what it's like for everyone else."

"I like all jokes. Okay? That's what I do; that's what I live for. There's really nothing else I care about, than jokes. And I don't really care who the victim is or who has-- whose feelings have to be hurt. If it's a good joke, I'm into it."

"What I am good at -- and what every comedian is good at -- is knowing how to carefully manage an audience's attention span."

"The Internet is the most brutal medium for attention span. The distance from your finger to that "off" -- or "stop" -- is-- it's-- you're holding it right there, while you're watching the thing!"

"I'm a little compulsive-- a compulsive tinkerer. Y'know? I love to just "Well, let's try this, and maybe shrink that section a little bit." I mean, that's what stand-up is, is constantly moving the accordion to different sizes."

"Audiences love to hear about something very stupid. Y'know? But I impose kind of an-- a very rigorous intellect to it. It's kind of philosophical, that joke about the-- y'know, "If it was really donut holes, the bag would be empty.""

"There's absolutely no difference between the greatest painting ever made and a joke. It's just something someone invented that someone else likes! That's art. And it has no reason to exist, except its own virtue."

"I had an episode [of Seinfeld] all ready to go that we were gonna do entirely -- secretly -- in claymation. And I had the studio ready, and the figures ready, and it was all good to go; and then, someone said "Y'know, Tim Allen did an animation thing", or something, "on Home Improvement last season." And I go "What? What kind of thing was it?" And I never saw it; I didn't know what it was. And I got scared off; and I thought "I don't want people to say I'm imitating Tim Allen." And I cancelled it; and I realize now that was a huge mistake."

"Comedy is a bit of a masochistic pursuit. If you don't have a masochistic streak, I don't think you can succeed at it, 'cause so much of it is painful. You have to kind of like it, in a sick way: y'know, that this really hurts."

"I do have a bucket list. And I looked at the list, and then, I decided to turn the B [into] an F, and I was done with it."

"I believe in detailed notes and jokes, and also winging it onstage. But, not for your first open mic. For your first open mic, my advice to you would be to make sure you have what you're gonna do memorized, to the point that one of your friends can gently slap you across the face, and you'll still be able to get it out of your mouth."

"I don't do movies because I think generally the size of that content does not lend itself to great comedy; it lends itself to people saying, "Hey, I made a movie." To me, the funniest things are shorter, so I think TV series or comedians in cars, I think I have a better chance of making you laugh."

"I actually have quite a bit of [the Seinfeld set], and we're looking for a museum that wants to display it. I have the couch, I have the two blue stools, I have the table and chairs; the coolest thing I have is the door, which we never repainted in nine seasons. It has every scuff mark that Kramer put on it with all those crazy entrances."

"I did swear a little bit in the beginning [of my stand-up career] and then I didn't like how easy it was. It felt like cheating, so I stopped."

""Funniest" is completely personal. Whoever you think is funniest, is funniest."

"I think the best Seinfeld episode idea I ever contributed was that George pretending to be a marine biologist would find Kramer's golf ball in the blowhole of the whale. Believe it or not, we were doing both of those stories without seeing any connection that Kramer was gonna hit golf balls at the beach, and George was gonna be pretending to be a marine biologist. And it was in the middle of the week that it suddenly hit me of a way to connect the two stories."

"The sad truth is, people are only interested in themselves. So, if you just ask them what they are doing or what’s going on or how they feel, they generally go on for hours."

"I have often wondered if there's a way to teach being funny or comedy, and George Stephanopoulos actually got me wound up enough at one point that we were going to contact, I think his name was Lee Bollinger, the president of Columbia, and we were gonna go in there, and I was going to teach a course on comedy. Because I know a lot about it, but I just don't know if it's teachable."

"Bee Movie was definitely my favorite movie that I've starred in, because I've always wanted to be a bee. They seem to have the most organized society on earth, and they make honey! Which is a pretty amazing product."

"The best advice I ever got was from Rodney Dangerfield, who when I asked him a question about something in comedy, just looked at me for a second and then went, "You'll figure it out.""

"Learning to be a writer is the delta of success and failure in comedy."

"A lot of comedy sounds like you're driving to a point of logic or perspective, and you're really just setting up a joke!"

"It is not easy to find someone who you can say to "That's not funny", and they're not gonna get upset. Y'know? Really hard to do that. Most comedians are very defensive, very protective of their stuff. And even if you may be a person of accomplishment, they don't want to hear that. They don't want to hear from anybody!"

"I like the brutality of stand-up and the simple, boiled-down "it either lives or dies" of a joke."

"Inexplicable malevolence was our favorite thing [on Seinfeld]. There's no reason-- There was never a reason I didn't like Newman; there was no reason. "We just think it's better to hate this guy.""

"There's this little thing of "I want to say this" and "I want to be funny". And that little balance: if it's a little-- if it's one inch above -- (raises one hand) "I really want to say this" and (lowers other hand) "It's not that funny" -- (snaps fingers) the audience will just-- they will recoil instantly. It's like "You're preaching", or "You're trying to make some stupid point". Y'know? And they just-- (recoils) But if it's always "This is really funny and it says something", then you're okay."

"I want comedians to always push themselves to be bigger than the niche that they start in. [...] You work to get broader and broader, without being generic or pandering. And to me, that is the mission."

"Get bigger! Don't just play to the people that get you. Play to the people that don't get you, and you'll get better!"

"Great steering is, to me, the essence of the automotive experience."

"I love art! It's great. But a guy with his hands on his face is not worth $100M. (laughs) "Screaming!" Okay? So, he's screaming. Fine. I'm not getting 100M value here: (imitates "The Scream")"

"Here's the dumbest thing car people will think: you'll look at some car that you have and you['ll] go "Do I really need that?" That's the dumbest question! You didn't need any of it! [...] "Need" is not an applicable verb in this world."

"Most comedians do not relate to cars. I don't know why."

"A great joke and a great car: everything on it works. And there's nothing excessive that doesn't make sense or doesn't need to be there. [...] To me, the Speedster and a great piece of comedy are identical: they're perfectly minimalized ideas."

"The time-travel aspect of old cars, to me, is a big part of the fun. [...] I live out in East Hampton, and there's a lot of roads out there where you can't tell what year it is. So, if you get in a '63 -- and that's a '63-- everything on it was made in '63 -- you can kind of go into that little dream, like "Well, gee, if I was-- had this car in that year, this-- it would be just like this!""

"I was the only guy, by the way, in the early '80s [who] was welcome on your show and Carson; usually, it was kind of-- that was-- there was a bit of a wall there. [...] If you were a Carson comic, you were probably not young enough or cool enough for Late Night. And vice-versa. But I for some reason was able to go back and forth, and I was always very proud of that, in the early days."

"A comedian is a-- to me, a-- a full-fledged-- not only a monologist, but somebody who can really work a room, work a crowd, and has a real act. A comic? That's a-- like-- I think a notch down."

"Talent is a horse that [you] just find yourself on. And the extent to which you can learn to ride it -- or it guides you or even throws you-- I mean, Freddie Prinze is a perfect example of a guy [who was] sitting on a stallion, but had no clue how to ride it. [...] That's [how] I think of a career, as kind of a rider and a horse: you trying to control this talent."

"The thing that's great about [having] kids is: they don't care what you think is great. [...] Everything you like, they've got to take the other side. That's the great balancing thing of kids: they're not impressed with anything you're impressed with."

"The secret to television is: the person who gets the opportunity wants to "re-form" this type of content to them, personally."

"Larry and I were so good together [on Seinfeld], if we both thought something was funny, that was good enough. That's it. If it can get through those two filters, and we both think "That's funny", I don't even-- I wouldn't even care if it wasn't funny."

"I love when a critic reviews a stand-up comedian. You want to go "I've left town already, with the money!" (laughs) "I don't care what you think.""

"[Stand-up comedy] is the ultimate democracy. The laugh is the vote."

"Stand-up comedy's also the most mysterious profession in show business. It's completely shrouded in [the] mystery of "How do these people do it?" [...] Only other comedians understand it. It's like, y'know, being a cop or a prostitute: you can only hang out with other people [who] do that."

"You have the Sun-Maid company, and then you have the Raisinet people. I just think it's interesting that after 80 years, Sun-Maid finally went "Hey, why don't we put some chocolate on it?" Like, imagine not thinking of that for 80 years!"

"The real concept of [Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee] is: being a comedian is two things. One is: there's a show you do at night, for an audience, that you get paid for; but most of your life is hanging out during the day with other comedians, waiting for night... to do your show! [...] So, you have your set, but then, you hang out with these other people that are like yourself: they're a little socially awkward; they have this comedic aspect of their brain that they cannot turn off... and have difficulty having normal conversations with people, because we just want to say foul, obnoxious, hilarious things to make each other laugh. So, I thought "What if I tried to show people this side of the comedian life?""

"Cars are really the most sophisticated adult toys that you can use without having to really talk to anybody."

"Every car has a personality. Every car is trying to say something to the world."

"On [Seinfeld], we were extremely meticulous in our scripting of every scene, every joke, every line. [...] When people came on that show, they were told by script supervisors "You don't change one comma", because that's-- the precision of joke-making generally requires that."

"There's no "putting an act together". Okay? A stand-up comedian is an act. You are an act. You breathe and live an act. It's not assembled; it's not-- This is not Hello, Dolly!. It's constant, it's organic; you live inside it. It's like a snow globe. Comedy is a snow globe. You live in it."

"Here's the other big secret of comedy: the audience writes most of it. You kind of give them what you think is funny, and they "grade" your work, second to second. [...] "Good word", "bad word"."

"The only reason people still exist is phones need pockets to ride around in."

"If you like a daily slight terror, you will like being a stand-up comedian."

"Comedy is so much closer to sports than the arts. Stand-up comedy is very, very close to sports: in the life of it, and the "do or die" of it. [...] Nobody cares how many hits you've had. There's guys on base now."

"I want to look like my heroes from the '60s. I want to look like Frank Gorshin, and old George Carlin, and Alan King. I love[d] those guys. So, I wanted to be those guys."

"I think people like a little more "personal revelation" in their comedy. And that's fine! They have-- There's three generations behind me doin' it. But my thing is: I want a number of jokes of a certain quality, and laughs. I want the room to just be ringin with laughs."

"When you hear a curse word in the last line of [a comedian's] bit... that's when you know: "not solved." (laughs) "That puzzle was not solved.""

"The reason I got [Seinfeld] is: my manager, George Shapiro, wrote a note to Brandon Tartikoff, the President of NBC, and it was one sentence; he said "Call me a crazy guy, but I think some day Jerry Seinfeld's gonna be doing a series on NBC." Now, when he wrote that note, it was... 1988. I had been on The Tonight Show for seven years -- three times a year -- destroying. [...] And George still [had] to say to NBC "I know this sounds crazy...". I thought of this just the other week: "What was so crazy about the idea?""

"That was the dominance of network television at that time. There was no competition. [Theirs] was the only game in town. A guy like me-- Could you ima-- I would never have gotten past my second set, today, before they would've grabbed me! Right? "Hey, this guy's pretty good!" "Just grab him! Let's do-- Somebody come up with somethin' for this kid!""

"Most of the time, comedians: we are expected to be the most agile, in terms of how we think and construct our thoughts and our-- what comes out of our mouth[s]. That's how we got the job. Y'know? So, I'm not really worried about [...] comedians as a group. We have been navigating these slalom gates forever."

"I don't hear the applause when I come out [on stage]. I have no interest in that. 'Cause that's for the past. They're saying "We like what you've done in the past." And that's not what tonight's about. Tonight's about tonight. We gotta make this happen tonight. I want you to go home tonight and go "We saw a great show.""

"I was lucky in that I was introduced to fame very-- in a very slow, incremental way."

"Stories about your children are not good stories. They're not interesting, amusing, or relatable. [...] That took me a long time to learn. And a lot-- I have a lot of friends with kids that don't know it: what happened with your kid this morning at breakfast is not funny."

"The concept of writing is so alien-- actual writing is so alien to most comedians."

"There's something about [writing] -- whether it's a cubicle allegory, or it's a homework or schoolwork metaphor -- there's something about it that totally repels the comic mind. "I can't-- I'm not doin' that. That's work!" Which it is, but only in the beginning! Only in the first ten, fifteen minutes, right? Then, you're kind of havin' fun! You're makin' up stuff. Who cares if it works? Who cares?"

"The guy on stage: I made that up. The real me is alone, in the room; that's who I am. I learned that-- the skill of people."

"A joke is a miracle."

"I really think an honest minimum is five years between [hour specials]. That would be a really honest-- and workin' hard!"

"A real artist -- a real artist -- does what they want to do. And that-- and I'm not talking about being indulgent; I'm talking about "That joke is good enough -- for me -- to make my set-- to be in my set.""

"You ever wonder why Silicon Valley even exists? I have always wondered, why do these people all live and work in that location? They have all this insane technology; why don't they all just spread out wherever they want to be and connect with their devices? Because it doesn't work, that's why."

"I always describe my upbringing as "benign neglect": that I was-- I really felt like my parents were just letting me live there 'til I grew up."

"I think the duck really is the perfect model of how to live: paddle as hard as you can beneath the surface, let everything else roll off your back, and have a little sense of humor about your appearance."

"The key to marriage -- of course -- is to make the other person happy. I tell all my guy friends: "Make your wife happy. You're not gonna be happy, so don't even worry about that. And that's good, 'cause that cuts your work in half!" And... further: that men don't want to be happy. We don't know what [happiness] is. We don't care what it is. We've never experienced it and couldn't be less interested in it. We just want to do whatever stupid thing it is that we're doing; that's men."

"Here's the great thing about writing: you don't have to do it. All you have to do is not do anything else in that time frame. So: you put your idea down and... now, you don't have to do anything. You just sit there and you eventually will realize "There's a problem here." Right? And your brain will naturally try and solve the problem, and the next thing you know, you're writing! So, it's not about forcing yourself to write; it's about creating a -- what do we call it? -- a "discrete space". Is that the right word? So, that's how you write: create a place and time where that's what's happening... but you don't have to write! Just be there with the problem."

"No one else has his work ethic or his clarity of vision, his passion for the craft."

"Jerry killed himself to make Seinfeld good. He and Larry David worked so hard, it is-- actually, it is impossible to describe. And they didn't just do it to make the show successful, because once it was successful, they worked even harder."

"You've always been one of the nicest guys in the business. [...] You've always been ethical, classy, smooth, and the best stand-up comic of our generation."

"Jerry Seinfeld, one of the greatest comedians of all time and one of the cockiest bastards to ever live. [...] To his credit, he writes some of the best jokes ever."

"I am never quite sure whether I am one of the cinema's elder statesmen or just the oldest whore on the beat."

"I have a lot to be sad about. Not bitter in any way. But I think it can be fairly said that I've been in on the beginning, the rise, peak, collapse and end of the talking picture."

"I got a job at Metro and went in to see Louis Mayer, who told me he wanted me to be a producer. I said I wanted to write and direct. He said, "No, you have to produce first, you have to crawl before you can walk." Which is as good a definition of producing as I ever heard."

"Every screenwriter worthy of the name has already directed his film when he has written his script."

"These problems do not disappear just because we do not hear about them. There is so much more happening around the world than what is communicated to us about the top stories we do hear. We all need to look deeper and discover for ourselves.... What is the problem? Where is it? How can we help to solve it?"

"It is especially shocking that such a tragedy can go on, year after year, with the rest of the world paying so little attention to it. My Christmas message to Colombian refugees and to the millions of displaced people in Colombia is that the world has not totally forgotten them."

"I was horrified by the attacks against her, [but] Madonna knew the situation in Malawi, where he was born. In that country, there isn't really a legal framework for adopting. Personally, I prefer to stay on the side of the law."

"I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I was very sexual in kindergarten. I created a game where I would kiss the boys and give them cooties. Then we would make out and we would take our clothes off. I got in a lot of trouble!"

"“Make bold choices and make mistakes. It’s all those things that add to the person you become.”"

"“If every choice you make comes from an honest place, you’re solid, and nothing anybody can say about you can rock you or change your opinion.”"

"“Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.”"

"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different....I'd rather be completely fucking mental."

"Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life."

"You’d think, ‘What if I make a mistake today, I’ll regret it’. I don’t believe in regret, I feel everything leads us to where we are and we have to just jump forward, mean well, commit and just see what happens."

"Love one person, take care of them until you die. You know, raise kids. Have a good life. Be a good friend. And try to be completely who you are. And figure out what you personally love. And like go after it with everything you've got no matter how much it takes."

"The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop,"

"“It is a myth that rape is an inevitable part of conflict… There is nothing inevitable about it. It is a weapon of war aimed at civilians. It has nothing to do with sex — everything to do with power. It is done to torture and humiliate innocent people and often very young children.”"

"Every day we chose who we are by how we define ourselves."

"It's not going to accomplish anything to cry."

"Figure out who you are separate from your family and the man or woman you're in a relationship with, Find who you are in this world and what you need to feel good alone. I think that's the most important thing in life. Find a sense of self because with that, you can do anything else."

". “I’ve realized that being happy is a choice. You never want to rub anybody the wrong way or not be fun to be around, but you have to be happy.”"

"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

"“If you don’t get out of the box you’ve been raised in, you won’t understand how much bigger the world is.”"

"We want to help young people to identify who or what is blocking them from accessing their human rights, and how to try to overcome that. The message to young people is, no one has the right to harm you, to silence you."

"Know Your Rights And Claim Them"

"I've been reckless, but I'm not a rebel without a cause"

"“My body reacts very strongly to stress"

"“Brad will continue to respond in court as he has consistently done,” she added."

"Since her appointment as a Goodwill Ambassador, Angelina has more than fulfilled my expectations. She has proven to be a close partner and a genuine colleague in our efforts to find solutions for the world’s refugees. Above all, she has helped to make the tragedy of refugees real to everyone who will listen. Angelina’s interest in helping refugees, her personal generosity, and her truly compassionate spirit are an inspiration to us all."

"… an off-screen persona of Globally Conscious Earth Mother and an aggressive on-screen embodiment of Kali, Goddess of Destruction."

"I've also gotten weird letters, suicide letters, girls threatening to jump if I don't get in touch with them. So you think, "This is bullshit," but then you think, "What if it's not? Who wants to take that chance?" I write them back, tell them to hang in there, if things are that bad, they have to get better. But I'm not altogether stable myself, so who am I to give advice?"

"When I was a kid back in Kentucky, we went to this church where my uncle preached. It was kind of a weird Baptist, full-on kind of place. People kept running up to the pulpit and grabbing his ankles and being saved. Lots of crying. Even then, at six or seven, I questioned how pure the emotion could be if it were on such display."

"We're all a mishmash of extremes. I know that I have demons. I don't know if I want to get rid of them altogether, but I would like to experience them in a different way. Maybe go face to face with them. I've never really had the time to go to therapy. Well, here and there. But not enough to help me."

"I despise those prick actors who say, "I was in character," and "I became the character," and all that stuff. It's hideous. It's just masturbation at the highest level."

"I see kids who are complete cynics. They're not dreaming. They're out there with high-powered weapons, smoking crack behind the 7-Eleven. They've seen it all. These kids are going to take us into 2000 and beyond. That's scary, man. I wouldn't say I'm pessimistic or optimistic. I'm more realistic, I guess. But not cynical. I look. I watch."

"I'm not a Blockbuster boy, I never wanted to be. I just don't want to look back in 30 or 40 or 50 years and have my grandkids say, "You did a lot of stupid shit, Granddad. What an idiot you were, smiling for the cameras and playing the game.""

"I had an incident with a really dumb magazine called Voici where they printed a photograph of Lily-Rose, a long-lens shot from very far away, and I just went ballistic. You can sue them — I've sued a couple of times, Vanessa's sued and we win every time — but this time I was beyond suing. I just wanted to beat whoever was responsible into the earth — I just wanted to rip him apart.So I tracked him down and gave him a few suggestions about how to live life and stay healthy and he took my advice. Because that's just unacceptable. They can do anything they want to me — and most tabloids have — but not my kid, not my pure, innocent little baby. She didn't ask to be in this circus."

"I'd like to think I was reborn May 27, 1999 [when his daughter Lily-Rose was born]. Everything changed once I held [her] in my arms, and those innocent eyes stared into mine. Until that moment, I had been possessed with 'me' and 'my career.' Suddenly, there was someone who depended on me, who I was responsible for."

"Lily-Rose is 2-1/2, and each day is a new discovery for her. I want to be there and live it with her. When she was 6 months old, I held a paint brush in her hand. By the time she was 1, I was guiding her hand to paint with acrylics. Also, I showed how to keep her brushes clean. Now, she's intrigued by pastels and going through her 'purple phase.' "She's developing from abstract into more figurative. [showing a fax of his daughter's latest effort: a picture of daddy] See the shape of my head, my hair, my shoulder? An exact likeness. If I had my wish, she'd be a painter. That's why I'm keeping her sketches, even this fax. Someday, if she becomes famous, I can take it to the bank."

""Film star," "movie star" — whatever they want to try to call you is limiting, in the sense that I think an actor has to be able to play characters. To separate these things — you know: "leading man," "action hero," "character actor," stuff like that — I guess if I want to be close to anything, it would be a character actor, which is what I think an actor should be. So any of that "movie star" stuff, I just don't buy it. It just doesn't make sense to me."

"I want to do kiddie movies now. I'm fed up with adult movies — most of them stink. At a certain point with movies it becomes all about mathematics: this has to lead up to this, this has to lead up to that — you're always bound by some kind of formula. But since having kids and watching lots of animated cartoons and all those great old Disney films, I think they're better, they're much better. They're more fun and they take more risks."

"I always figured that once I wrapped a film, then anything beyond that is none of my business. If I can avoid seeing the final product, then all I have in my head is feeling good about the experience."

"The ultimate for me would be to do a feature that didn't require any narrative structure."

"The real movie stars were Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Spencer Tracy, Montgomery Clift. How could I put myself in the same category as Clark Gable? Tom Cruise is a great movie star. Do I consider myself a movie star? I consider myself a guy with a good job, an interesting job."

"I do have an affinity for damaged people, in life, in roles. I don't know why. We're all damaged in our own way. Nobody's perfect. I think we are all somewhat screwy, every single one of us."

"Depp: I would never be disrespectful to my country, to the people, especially the kids who are over there serving in the armed forces. My uncle was wounded in Vietnam, paralyzed from the neck down. I would never say those things the way they claim I said them. Interviewer: What exactly did you say? Depp: I essentially said the United States is a very young country compared with Europe. We're still growing. That's it. I wouldn't say anything anti-American. I'm an American, and I love my country. Interviewer: What's your view of President Bush? Depp: What can I say? He's somebody's kid. He's somebody's father. God bless him. Good luck. You know what I mean? I don't agree with his politics, and I'm not going to pretend to, but I don't agree with a lot of people's politics."

"When I was a kid, we watched the Vietnam War on the six o'clock news, and it was desensitizing. You felt you were watching a war film; meanwhile you were really watching these guys getting blown to bits. Parents need to protect their kids from watching that stuff."

"I just don’t quite understand it [the press], really. I don’t understand the animal. It’s a strange, roundabout way of selling something; it leaves a foul taste... The thing that fascinates me is: who cares what an actor thinks?"

"I’ve known that there have been a kind of select group of people, amazing die-hard supporters, even through some of the more, shall we say, odd films. These people, bless them, have stuck with me the whole length of the road. To say that you appreciate it is not nearly enough. It’s part of the essence, or fuel, of what keeps you going.These people are my boss; they’re the ones who keep me employed. A couple of times, they could have said, Let’s abandon him. And they haven’t. You don’t want to let them down."

"Awards are not as important to me as when I meet a 10-year-old kid who says, "I love Captain Jack Sparrow.""

"I like the Coen brothers. Their films are smart and disturbing. I am very impressed by what George Clooney is doing now. He is very political. I like the fact that he did Oceans Eleven and Oceans Twelve, made all that money and then leveraged the money and his success into interesting projects. Johnny Depp has also set up a production company and is showing an interest in risky projects that will not be easy. I am sorry that it is hard for the average person, and even for an above-average person, to see a film that is not a Hollywood production. You see those films only in the festivals. There are few people there. That is worrying. People don't think. My goal in work is to make them think. The media do the opposite."

"We watched everything...A family favorite was Cry-Baby starring Johnny Depp. Whenever the John Waters film broke out in song, we would all scream and start singing, too."

"I'm actually pretty athletic. I have to work out just to look fat."

"Star Trek speaks to some basic human needs: that there is a tomorrow — it's not all going to be over with a big flash and a bomb; that the human race is improving; that we have things to be proud of as humans. No, ancient astronauts did not build the pyramids — human beings built them, because they're clever and they work hard. And Star Trek is about those things."

"The glory of creation is in its infinite diversity."

"The strength of a civilization is not measured by its ability to fight wars, but rather by its ability to prevent them."

"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes."

"I condemn false prophets, I condemn the effort to take away the power of rational decision, to drain people of their free will — and a hell of a lot of money in the bargain. Religions vary in their degree of idiocy, but I reject them all. For most people, religion is nothing more than a substitute for a malfunctioning brain."

"I think God is as much a basic ingredient in the universe as neutrons and positrons . . . God is, for lack of a better term, clout. This is the prime force, when we look around the universe."

"I do not belong to any church, but I do consider myself a religious man...part of the creative and intelligence behind life. Therefore, if we are part of God than our lives are not brief meaningless things, but rather have a great importance and significance."

"I listened to the sermon, and I remember complete astonishment because what they were talking about were things that were just crazy. It was communion time, where you eat this wafer and are supposed to be eating the body of Christ and drinking his blood. My first impression was, "This is a bunch of cannibals they've put me down among!" For some time, I puzzled over this and puzzled over why they were saying these things, because the connection between what they were saying and reality was very tenuous. How the hell did Jesus become something to be eaten? I guess from that time it was clear to me that religion was largely nonsense--largely magical, superstitious things. In my own teen life, I just couldn't see any point in adopting something based on magic, which was obviously phony and superstitious."

"I think I’ve gone through quite an ordinary series of steps in life. I began as most children began, with God and Santa Claus and the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny all being about the same thing. Then I went through the things that I think sensitive people go through, wrestling with the thoughts of Jesus—did he shit? Did he screw? I began to dare to believe that God wasn’t some white beard. I began to look upon the miseries of the human race and to think God was not as simple as my mother said. As nearly as I can concentrate on the question today, I believe I am God; certainly you are, I think we intelligent beings on this planet are all a piece of God, are becoming God. In some sort of cyclical non-time thing we have to become God, so that we can end up creating ourselves, so that we can be in the first place. ... My own feeling is that relation to God as a person is a petty, superstitious approach to the All, the infinite."

"No one could know Serling, or view or read his work, without recognizing his deep affection for humanity, his sympathetically enthusiastic curiosity about us, and his determination to enlarge our horizons by giving us a better understanding of ourselves. He dreamed of much for us, and demanded much of himself, perhaps more than was possible for either in this time and place. But it is that quality of dreams and demands that makes the ones like Rod Serling rare ...and always irreplaceable."

"The whole show was an attempt to say that humanity will reach maturity and wisdom on the day that it begins not just to tolerate, but to take a special delight, in differences in ideas and differences in life forms. We tried to say that the worst possible thing that can happen to all of us is for the future to somehow press us into a common mold where we begin to act, and talk, and look, and think alike. If we cannot learn to actually enjoy those small differences, take a positive delight in those small differences between our own kind, here on this planet, then we do not deserve to go out into space and meet the diversity that is almost certainly out there."

"Time is the fire in which we burn."

"He looked at me and said, "The difference between your agent and me is that your agent can't get you out of here at five o’clock on Friday and I can. And all it'll cost you is twenty percent". "Gene, I can't do that to this agent," I said. "He got me the job." And then he said, and I will never forget his exact words, "Well, you're just going to have to learn how to bow down and say master.""

"He was a chiseler who wanted a cut of outside money his cast earned, demanded to be called 'master,' and prohibited poor Nimoy from using a company pencil."

"My primary concept in approaching the production of THX 1138 was to make a kind of theater verité film of the future — something that would look like a documentary crew had made a film about some character in a time yet to come. No film ever ends up exactly as you would like it to, but with minor exceptions, THX came out pretty much as I had visualized it, thanks to some excellent assistance — and a whole lot of luck."

"He could have known this little girl when she was just a kid. Had an affair with her when she was eleven. … He hasn’t seen her in twelve years. Now she’s twenty-two. It’s a really strange relationship. …This is a resource that you can either mine or not. It's not as blatant as we're talking about. You don't think about it that much. You don't immediately realize how old she was at the time. It would be subtle. She could talk about it. "I was jail bait the last time we were together." She can flaunt it at him, but at the same time she never says, "I was fifteen years old." Even if we don't mention it, when we go to cast the part we're going to end up with a woman who's about twenty-three and a hero who's about thirty- five."

"It was insane, I wish I had filmed it. It was like bringing an audience to the Mona Lisa and asking, 'Do you know why she is smiling?' 'Sorry Leonardo, you'll have to make some changes.' At least the audience understood that THX was not a love story set in the 25th-century, which was the way Warners had planned to advertise it. Instead, the company settled for 'Visit the future, where love is the ultimate crime.'"

"The Johnson film wasn't terrible. I just didn't agree with the politics. I'm not a fan of big government and propaganda films are distasteful."

"We say, 'We think you are a talented, functioning person, and we are hiring you because of your abilities, and whatever you come up with, we're going to take.' If we make a mistake, it will be in picking the wrong person. What we're striving for is total freedom, where we can finance our pictures, make them our way, release them where we want them released and be completely free to express ourselves. That's very hard to do in the world of business. In this country, the only thing that speaks is money and you have to have the money to have the power to be free. So the danger is — in being as oppressive as the next guy to the people below you. We're going to do everything possible to avoid that pitfall. But if we fail, it's another saga in the history of man..."

"One of the fatal mistakes that almost every science-fiction film makes is that they spend so much time on the settings — you know, creating the environment — that they spend film time on it. And you don't have to spend too much film time to create an environment. What they're doing is showing off the amount of work that they generated, and it slows the pace of the film down. And the story is not the settings. The story is the stories, plot. You're always surprised with characters, I mean in film it's even more dramatic than it is in writing, because eventually you actually take a real person and stick them into that character. And that real person brings with him, or her, an enormous package of reality. I mean, Threepio is just a hunk of plastic, and without Tony Daniels in there it just isn't anything at all. In the first film we had maybe 20 colors to paint with, and this time we've had 40 colors to paint with. Well, that doesn't mean it's going to be a better painting. Visual effects are just a tool, a means of telling a story. People tend to confuse them as an end to themselves. A visual effect without a story is a pretty boring thing."

"Don't avoid the cliches — they are cliches because they work!"

"People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as "when life begins" or "when it should be appropriately terminated," but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race."

"Sound is half the experience of seeing a film. That's why I have been bothered by the poor sound re-production in many theaters and most homes."

"Everybody has the choice of being a hero or not being a hero every day of their lives … and you can either help somebody, you can be compassionate toward people, you can treat some people with dignity — or not. And … one way you become a hero, and the other way … you’re part of the problem. And … it’s not a grand thing, you know; you don’t have to get into a giant laser-sword fight and blow up three spaceships to become a hero. I mean — it’s a very small thing that happens every day of your life."

"There is no Episode VII...Not about Luke Skywalker, not about, you know, that group of people and that struggle to bring democracy back to the galaxy."

"As you go through history, I didn't think it was going to get quite this close. So it's just one of those recurring things… I hope this doesn't come true in our country. Maybe the film will wake people to the situation. … When I wrote it [Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith], Iraq didn't exist… We were just funding Saddam Hussein and giving him weapons of mass destruction. We didn't think of him as an enemy at that time. We were going after Iran and using him as our surrogate, just as we were doing in Vietnam… The parallels between what we did in Vietnam and what we're doing in Iraq now are unbelievable… [In ancient Rome,] why did the senate after killing Caesar turn around and give the government to his nephew? Why did France after they got rid of the king and that whole system turn around and give it to Napoleon? It's the same thing with Germany and Hitler. … You sort of see these recurring themes where a democracy turns itself into a dictatorship, and it always seems to happen kind of in the same way, with the same kinds of issues, and threats from the outside, needing more control. A democratic body, a senate, not being able to function properly because everybody's squabbling, there's corruption."

"One of the amazing things about 'Seven Samurai' is that there are a lot of characters. And considering you have so many, and they all have shaved heads, and you've got good guys and bad guys and peasants, you get to understand a lot of them without too much being said."

"The truth is, the only thing I was inspired by was the fact that it's told from the point of view of two peasants, who get mixed up with a samurai and princess and a lot of very high-level people."

"Being in Washington is more fictional than being in Hollywood."

"The fans are all upset. They’re always going to be upset. Why did he do it like this? And why didn’t he do it like this? They write their own movie, and then, if you don’t do their movie, they get upset about it."

"No, I like my own characters. I want to get Anakin and Obi-Wan in. I want to give Anakin a padawan Let's take that girl there."

"Anakin Skywalker has a Padawan. Anakin has a Padawan."

"It's Star Wars starring an eleven-year-old girl"

"Pleasure's fun. It's great, but you can't keep it going forever; just accept the fact that it's here and it's gone, and maybe then again, it will come back, and you'll get to do it again. Joy lasts forever. Pleasure is purely self-centered. It's all about your pleasure: it's about you. It's a selfish, self-centered emotion, that is created by a self-centered motive of greed. Joy is compassion. Joy is giving yourself to somebody else, or something else. And it's a kind of thing that is, in its subtlety and lowness, much more powerful than pleasure. You get hung up on pleasure; you're doomed. If you pursue joy; you will find everlasting happiness."

"In the world we live in - and the system we've created for ourselves, in terms of it's a big industry - you cannot lose money. So the point is that you're forced to make a particular kind of movie. And I used to say this all the time, with people, you know, back when Russia was the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, and they'd say: "Oh, but aren’t you so glad that you're in America?" And I'd say: "Well, I know a lot of Russian filmmakers and they have a lot more freedom than I have. All they have to do is be careful about criticizing the government. Otherwise, they can do anything they want"."

"[P]eople are still asking me if I knew Star Wars was going to be that big of a hit. Yes, of course I knew. We all knew. The only one who didn’t know was George Lucas. We kept it from him, because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression—and he fooled us even then. He got Industrial Light and Magic to change his facial expression for him[,] and THX sound to make the noise of a face-changing expression. Not only was he virtually expressionless in those days, but he also hardly talked at all. His only two directions to the three of us in the first film were "faster" and "more intense.""

"I would put my pilot out on the Internet in a heartbeat. Want five more? Come buy the boxed set."

"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

"This...is why screenwriting pays so well. They don't pay me to write. I'd write for free. They pay me NOT to punch people in the neck."

"Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen - that stillness becomes a radiance."

"To go somewhere and say: 'I have this really terrific movie, but I need some . . . money' - Good luck!"

"I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man."

"You're going to relegate my history to a month? I don't want a black history month. Black history is American history."

"We have 7 billion people on this planet. It’s not that there’s not enough room on this planet for 7 billion people, it’s that the energy needs for 7 billion people are 7 billion people’s worth of energy needs, as opposed to, say, 2 billion. Imagine how much pollution would be in the air and the oceans if there were only 2 billion people putting it in? So yeah, we’re already overpopulated."

"The search for truth is never over and the survival of truth is never assured. We have to choose - do we stand with those who wish to suppress the truth or stand with those who seek it."

"I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole."

"You heard of Hell—well, I was sent from it I went to it, servin' a sentence for murderin' instruments Now I'm tryin' to repent from it But when I hear the beat, I'm tempted to make another attempt at it I'm infinite"

"Caught up in bouts with the root of all evil I've seen it turn beautiful people crude and deceitful And make them do shit illegal for these Grants and Jacksons These transactions explain a man's actions But in the midst of this insanity, I found my Christianity Through God and there's a wish He granted me He showed me how to cope with the stress and hope for the best"

"I'm usin' smarter tactics to overcome this slum I won't become as dumb as some and succumb to scum It's cumbersome, I'm tryin' to do well on this Earth But it's been hell on this Earth since I fell on this Earth"

"Your ass forgot, so just in case you don't remember me I'll run your brain round the block to jog your fuckin' memory"

"I showered the slang, simple as ABC's Skip over the D's and rock the microphone with ease (E's)"

"I rock a beat harder than you could beat it with rocks"

"Don't do drugs."

"Brain damage ever since the day I was born Drugs is what they used to say I was on They say I never knew which way I was goin' But everywhere I go they keep playin' my song"

"What is life? Life is like a big obstacle put in front of your optical to slow you down, and every time you think you gotten past it, it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground."

"(imitating Norman Bates) Mother, are you there? I love you! I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel!"

"I just remembered that I'm absent-minded Wait… I mean I lost my mind, I can't find it"

"Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit 'Cause they think that I'm a motherfucking Beastie Boy"

"I want the money, the women, the fortune and fame That means I end up burnin' in Hell, scorchin' in flame That means I'm stealin' your checkbook and forgin' your name This lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain"

"Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Eminem = M&M = Marshall Mathers)"

"Extortion, snortin', supportin' abortion Pathological liar, blowin' shit out of proportion The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict Half animal, half man"

"I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful I like birds, bees, I like people I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful… Like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in pre-school!"

"I try to keep it positive and play it cool Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school"

"Remember me? I'm the one who burned your house down …But I'm out now And this time I'm coming back to blow your house up And I ain't gonna leave you with a window to jump out of!"

"I can't change the way I am… but if I offended you, good, 'cause I still don't give a fuck!"

"My brain's gone, my soul's worn, my spirit is torn The rest of my body's still bein' operated on"

"Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!"

"Okay, I'm done, I already came twice. You ain't gonna make me cum. I'm all outta gas, not so fast. Uh, your finger just went in my ass. Ow, that hurts, take it out now. Oh, wait a minute, aw. Put it back in, in, in, in. This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men. I like boobs, boobs, boobs."

"Bitch, I ain't no fucking G, I'm a cannibal! I ain't trying to shoot you, I'm trying to chop you into pieces and eat you!"

"I will not ever perform in Poland, I'm still having bad memories due to Polish people in my city. I think that Poland shouldn't exist on the map, If I were Hitler, Poles would be killed at first, after them Jews."

"Maybe it's hatred I spew, maybe it's food for the spirit Maybe it's beautiful music I made for you to just cherish"

"See, I'm a poet to some, a regular modern-day Shakespeare Jesus Christ, the king of these Latter-day Saints here To shatter the picture in which of that as they paint me as A monger of hate, satanist, scatter-brained atheist […] While I'm wavin' the pistol at sixty Christians against me Go to war with the Mormons, take a bath with the Catholics In holy water, no wonder they tried to hold me under longer"

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment—would you capture it, or just let it slip?"

"His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already—Mom's spaghetti"

"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo!"

"This world is mine for the taking, make me king!"

"Like a flame in the night Like a ghost in the dark There's a ray, there's a light There's a hope, there's a spark"

"But you can't just stand there and try to judge It hurts but your jealousy probably tears you up inside as much And it's such a pleasure every button that I touch I treasure every glutton that I punish in my lust"

"With every artist comes the image he portrays and the picture that he paints"

"Oh, no. Not me, not Marshall. You want to see Marshall? I'll show you Marshall! I tried to show you art, but you just pick it apart"

"They took away my right to bear arms What I'm 'posed to fight with, bare palms? Yeah right, they're comin' with bombs, I'm comin' with flare guns"

"I don't rap for dead presidents, I'd rather see the president dead"

"Have you ever loved someone so much you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for? When they know they're your heart and you know you are their armor And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her"

"It hurts but I never show This pain you'll never know If only you could see just how lonely and how cold and frostbit I've become My back's against the wall When push come to shove I just stand up and scream: "Fuck 'em all!""

"Yeah, sue me!"

"And I am whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am Radio won't even play my jam"

"And all of this controversy circles me And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinky or the ring or the thumb It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck When you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull"

"And Dr. Dre said… Nothing, you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead! He's locked in my basement!"

"Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!"

"A lot of people ask me stupid fucking questions. A lot of people think that what I say on records, or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life, or that I believe in it, or if I say that I want to kill somebody that I'm actually gonna do it, or that I believe in it. Well, shit. If you believe that, then I'll kill you. Do you know why? Because I'm a criminal!"

"If I could capture the rage of today's youth and bottle it Crush the glass from my bare hands and swallow it Then spit it back in the faces of you racists And hypocrites who thinks the same shit but don't say shit"

"I make music to make you sick of fake music Hate music like devil worshippin' Satan music So say your prayers—your Hail Mary's and Jesuses Take two sticks, tape 'em together and make a crucifix"

"America! Ha ha ha! We love you! How many people are proud to be citizens of this beautiful country of ours, the stripes and the stars for the rights that men have died for to protect, the women and men who have broke their necks for the freedom of speech the United States government has sworn to uphold… or so we're told."

"Yeah, you laugh 'til your motherfuckin' ass gets drafted While you're at band camp thinkin' that crap can't happen 'Til you fuck around get an anthrax napkin Inside a package wrapped in saran Wrap wrappin' Open the plastic and then you stand back gaspin' Fuckin' assassins hi-jackin' Amtraks crashin' All this terror, America demands action Next thing you know you've got Uncle Sam's ass askin' To join the army or what you'll do for their Navy You just a baby gettin' recruited at eighteen You're on a plane now, eating their food and their baked beans I'm 28, they gonna take you 'fore they take me"

"I love my fans, but no one ever puts a grasp On the fact I've sacrificed everything I have I never dreamt I'd get to the level that I'm at This is whack, this is more than I ever coulda asked […] It's like the boy in the bubble who never could adapt I'm trapped, if I could go back I never would've rapped I sold my soul to the devil, I'll never get it back I just wanna leave this game with level-head intact"

"20 million other white rappers emerge, but no matter how many fish in the sea, it'll be so empty without me"

"Entertainment is changin', intertwinin' with gangsters In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum Holy or unholy, only have one homie Only this gun, lonely ‘cause don't anyone know me"

"They say music can alter moods and talk to you Well, can it load a gun up for you and cock it too? If it can, then the next time you assault a dude Just tell the judge that it was my fault, and I'll get sued"

"It's all political; if my music is literal and I'm a criminal, how the fuck can I raise a little girl? I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to"

"Music is reflection of self We just explain it, and then we get our checks in the mail It's fucked up, ain't it? How we can come from practically nothing To being able to have any fucking thing that we wanted That's why we sing for these kids who don't have a thing Except for a dream and a fucking rap magazine Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long Idolize their favorite rappers and know all their songs Or for anybody whose ever been through shit in their lives So they just sit up and cry at night wishin' they'd die 'Til they throw on a rap record and they sit and they vibe We're nothing to you, but we're the fucking shit in their eyes That's why we seize the moment, try to freeze it and own it Squeeze it and hold it, 'cause we consider these minutes golden And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone Just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our songs!"

"I act like shit don't faze me Inside it drives me crazy My insecurities could eat me alive But then I see my baby Suddenly I'm not crazy It all makes sense when I look into her eyes"

"Sometimes you feel tired, feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you, and get that motivation to not give up and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse."

"Music is like magic: there's a certain feeling you get when you're real and you spit and people are feelin' your shit"

"My song can make you cry, take you by surprise At the same time, can make your dry your eyes with the same rhyme See what you're seeing is a genius at work Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first"

"Let the president answer a higher anarchy, strap him with an AK-47 Let him go fight his own war, let him impress daddy that way No more blood for oil We got our own battles to fight on our own soil"

"You find me offensive? I find you offensive, for finding me offensive"

"We're all we got in this world When it spins, when it swirls, when it whirls, when it twirls"

"But then of course everything always happens for a reason I guess it was never meant to be But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is"

"If you could count the skeletons in my closet, under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No he's insane!"

"Nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we're dealt We gotta take these cards ourselves and flip 'em, don't expect no help"

"A lot of people ask me where the fuck I've been at the last few years? Shit, I don't know. But I do know I'm back now!"

"Turn Halloween back into a trick-or-treat holiday Have Michael Myers lookin' like a liar Swipe his powers, replace his knife with flowers and a stack of fliers Hit Jason Vorhees with a 40 Stuck a suppository up his ass and made him tell me a story Gave Hannibal Lector a fuckin' nectarine And sat him in the fuckin' fruit and vegetable section and gave him a lecture Walked up Elm Street with a fuckin' Wiffle bat drew Fought Freddy Krueger and Edward Scissorhands too"

"I told the world one day I would pay it back Say it on tape, lay it, so that one day I could play it back"

"Had a dream, I was king; I woke up, still king"

"It's too late to start over, this is the only thing I know"

"And any fan of mine who's a supporter of his [Trump] I'm drawing in the sand a line, you're either for or against And if you can't decide who you like more and you're split On who you should stand beside, I'll do it for it for you with this: Fuck you! The rest of America stand up! We love our military and we love our country, but we fucking hate Trump!"

"This time around it's different, them last two albums didn't count Encore I was on drugs, Relapse I was flushin' 'em out"

"When it rains, guess it pours—yes, it does Wish there wasn't any pain, but I can't pretend there ain't I ain't placin' any blame I ain't pointin' fingers, Heaven knows I've never been a saint"

"Like a 'Fuck You' for Christmas, his gift is a curse"

"I'd shoot for the moon, but I'm too busy gazing at stars"

"They call me Fire Marshall: I shut the shit down"

"Man, get these wack cocksuckers off stage! Where the fuck is Kanye when you need him? Snatch the mic from 'em—bitch, I'ma let you finish in a minute!"

"And love is evil ("evol"): spell it backwards, I'll show ya"

"I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms Drop to my knees and I'm pleading, I'm trying to stop you from leaving"

"I fell for this so many times it's ridiculous And still I stick with this, I'm sick of this But in my sickness and addiction, you're addictive as they get Evil as they come, vindictive as they make 'em"

"Now get off my dick! Dick's too short of a word for my dick—get off my antidisestablishmentarianism, you prick!"

"Y'all are Eminem backwards: you're mini-mes"

"You don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game"

"So spread the word 'cause I'm promoting my past until I'm passed out"

"All my life I was told and taught I am not shit By you wack fuckin' giant sacks of lyin' dog shit Now you shut up, bitch, I am talkin' Thought I was full of horseshit and now you fuckin' worship the ground on which I am walkin'"

"I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God"

"Summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin' I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman?"

"I make elevating music, you make elevator music"

"Ma, you're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my mom"

"I'da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus Owned a collection of maps and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas If someone ever moved 'em from me"

"They take your heart and steal your life And it's as though you feel you've died ‘Cause you've been killed inside But yet you're still alive Which means you will survive"

"It's true, I'm a Rubik's—a beautiful mess"

"I'm just a man, but as long as I got a mic, I'm godlike"

"Got my faith, where's yours? Do you still believe in me? Didn't I give everything I had to give you to make you see?"

"It's never too late to start a new beginning"

"This love triangle left us in a wreck, tangled [rectangle]"

"She does that thing with her lip, now she's melting me I'm putty in her palms, I'm wrapped around her finger A yo-yo on a string, she lets me sit there and just dangle Until something better comes along and she'll just drop me like a hot potato"

"Donald Duck's on, there's a Tonka Truck in the yard But dog, how the fuck is Ivanka Trump in the trunk of my car?"

"I'm packin' up my shit, as much shit in the car as I can fit And I'm just drivin' as far as I can get Away from these problems 'til all of my sorrows I forget What's tomorrow like? 'Cause tonight I'm startin' life again Get to the corner and stop, fuck am I goin'? Besides psycho when I fantasize startin' my whole life over"

"So finger-bang, chicken wang, w:MGK, Igg' Azae' Lil Pump, Lil Xan imitate Lil Wayne I should aim at everybody in the game, pick a name I'm fed up with bein' humble And rumor is I'm hungry, I'm sure you heard bumblings I heard you wanna rumble like an empty stomach I heard your mumblin' but it's jumbled in mumbo-jumbo The era that I'm from will pummel you, that's what it's comin' to What the fuck you're gonna do when you run into it? I'm gonna crumble you and I'll take a number two and dump on you If you ain't Joyner If you ain't Kendrick or Cole or Sean then you're a goner"

"These rappers are like Hunger Games: one minute, they're mockin' Jay (Mockingjay) Next minute, they get their style from Migos or they copy Drake"

"Kept my ear to the streets Signed Eminem, he's triple platinum, doing fifty a week"

"Hey, Em! You know you're my favorite white boy, right? I owe you for this one."

"Truly, my first love."

"You could either be trapped by what was going on around you, or you could find a way out. I think that everything, even if it is scary or good, comes into our life to help elevate and expand us as human beings."

"I’m intensely private, and I’ve openly shown annoyance at the paparazzi. That’s served in the past to create an image of me where I’m always frowning or looking angry."

"I like to connect to people in the virtual world, exchanging thoughts and ideas, when in the physical world we might never have the opportunity to cross paths."

"Models, even male models — how small they've gotten! It looks great for the clothes, but it's not what you want in real life. Why do we have to keep looking at ourselves and measuring?"

"I knew it had the potential to be something special right away. It was like meeting somebody that I've just known where you just recognize one another. It was so disproportionate, the level of emotion we were experiencing to the time we had spent together."

"Many people want and need someone to identify with, a man who is self-reliant, stands on his own two feet, and is not afraid to face adversity. They want to believe in me, just as I believed in John Wayne when I was a boy."

"When you are fighting, good against evil, when the good guys are taking on the bad guys and winning, then I think that’s good … unfortunately in our society, in reality, that’s not always the case."

"I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts."

"I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign?"

"Sometimes the things we want most are the hardest to get. That means you need to be even more determined to succeed. That's what it takes to be a winner. You have to want it bad enough to stick with it no matter how tough things get."

"I had the opportunity to fly with a Top Gun pilot and land on the USS Nimitz, 240 miles at sea. We landed the F-14 tomcat on the carrier and I was given a tour and was able to shake hands with all the sailors and marines. As we were flying back to Miramar, Maverick (his call name) said to me, “Let’s pretend there is a bogey on our tail.” He immediately went into evasive maneuvers, spinning one way and then the other, hitting up to seven Gs! After about ten minutes, I was about ready to hurl, but I thought, “If I do, he is going to tell all the other Top Gun pilots,” so I said to Maverick in my headset, “Maverick, we lost him!” Maverick laughed and said, “I know what you mean.”"

"Men are like steel — when they lose their temper, they lose their worth."

"My alma mater is the Chicago Public Library."

"The art of the theater is action. It is the study of commitment. The word is an act. To SAY the word in such a way as to make it heard and understood by all in the theater is a commitment — it is the highest art to see a human being out on a stage speaking to a thousand of his or her peers saying, 'These words which I am speaking are the TRUTH — they are not an approximation of any kind. They are the God's truth, and I support them with my life,' which is what the actor does on stage."

"Before you can steal fire from the Gods you gotta be able to get coffee for the director"

"We don't have to worry about making it interesting; all we have to worry about is getting rid of the pig."

"[T]he job of mass entertainment is to cajole, seduce and flatter consumers to let them know that what they thought was right is right, and that their tastes and their immediate gratification are of the utmost concern of the purveyor. The job of the artist, on the other hand, is to say, wait a second, to the contrary, everything that we have thought is wrong. Let's reexamine it."

"Cop couldn't find his fucking couch, the living room."

"Or me lying in the... Let me tell ya... Lying in bed the next day, she brought me cafe au lait, she gives me a cigarette. My balls feel like concrete. Eh?"

"You ever take a dump, made you feel you'd just slept for twelve hours?"

"Then I'm over the fucking top and you owe me a Cadillac. And I don't want any fucking shit and I don't give a shit."

"Patel?!?! Ravadahm Patel?!?! How am I going to make a living on these deadbeat wogs?! Where'd you get this from, a morgue? Oh come on! What's the fuckin' point?! What's the fuckin' point in any case!? I gotta argue with you? I gotta knock heads with the cops? I'm busting my balls, sell your dirt to two deadbeats; money in a mattress. I come back, you can't even keep the contracts safe. I got to go out and close them again. What the fuck am I wasting my time... Fuck this shit!"

"Patel? Fuck you. Fuckin' Shiva handed him a million dollars, told him sign the deal, he wouldn't sign. And Vishnu, too into the bargain."

"I find out whose fuckin' cousin you are, I'm gonna go to him and figure out a way to have your ass, FUCK YOU!"

"You cheated on your wife? You did it, live with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There's an absolute morality? May be. And then what?"

"You stupid fucking cunt. Williamson! I'm talking to you shithead! You just cost me $6,000. $6,000, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it...asshole? You fucking shit! Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt?! You idiot! Whoever told you that you could work with men?! Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead. I'm going downtown, I'm going to talk to Mitch and Murray! I'm going to Lemkin! I don't care whose nephew you are...who you know...whose dick you're sucking on, you're going out! I swear to you, you're going out! Anyone in this office lives on his wits. I'm going to be with you in a second. What you are hired for, is to help us. Does that seem clear to you? To HELP us. Not to FUCK US UP! To help men who are going out there to try to earn a living, you fairy. You company man. I'll tell you something else, I hope you ripped the joint off, maybe I can tell our friends here a little something that might help him to catch you. You want to learn the first rule you'd know if you'd ever spent a day in your life? You never open your mouth til you know what the shot is. You fucking child."

"Yes, well that's very cute, but you're running this office like a bunch of bullshit."

"Anybody that talks to this asshole is a fuckin' asshole."

"Fuck the machine? FUCK THE MACHINE! What is this, courtesy class? You're fucked, Rick."

"Cop couldn't find his dick, two hands and a map."

"Well, to the law, you’re an accessory. Before the fact."

"That's fucked. That's fucked. You don't look at the fucking percentage. You look at the gross."

"What the hell are you? You're a fuckin' secretary. Fuck you. That's my message to ya: fuck you and kiss my ass, and if you don't like it baby I'm going across the street to Jerry Graff, period, fuck you. Now, I want you to put me on the cadillac board and I want two promising leads and I don't want any bullshit and I want them close together because I am going to close them all, and that is all I have to say to you! [flips him off]"

"Get the chalk! Get the fucking chalk! Put me on the board! Put me on the Cadillac board! Williamson! Pick up the fucking chalk! Hey, Rick I closed em! I closed the cocksucker!"

"I point back in the living room, back to the sideboard. I didn't fucking know there was a sideboard there!"

"You are a shithead, Williamson. If you can't think on your feet you oughta keep your mouth shut."

"April to September it's me, it's no fucking Moss! Due respect... he's an order taker. Talks... oh, talks a good game. But look at the board, and it's me John. It's me."

"A man should BE his job. You are FUCKED at yours."

"Where have you been, Shelly? Bruce and Harriet Nyborg. Do you want to see the memos...? They're nuts... they used to call in every week [...] Did you see how they were living? [...] The people are insane. They just like talking to salesmen."

"The goal of the Left is a government-run country and that of the Right the freedom of the individual from government. Page 236."

"A society can neither advance nor improve without excess of disposable income. This excess can only be amassed through the productions of goods and services necessary or attractive to the mass. A financial system which allows this leads to inequality; one that does not leads to mass starvation. Page 10."

"The good causes of the Left may generally be compared to NASCAR; they offer the diversion of watching things go excitingly around in a circle, getting nowhere. Page 11."

"Society functions in a way much more interesting than the multiple-choice pattern we have been rewarded for succeeding at in school. Success in life comes not from the ability to choose between the four presented answers, but from the rather more difficult and painfully acquired ability to formulate the questions. Page 28"

"I remember watching Gene Hackman, or Robert Duvall. To just see them as actors. You think of them as these icons. But you see them mess up their lines, flub their lines, whatever, you just see the human being. But then when they're "in" it's totally about playing pretend. The game of it."

"I feel passionate about things. And I feel things deeply, and that's always the way I've been taught, right from the beginning, that the deeper you feel something the better the acting.....and then it's also the person you're playing. If you're playing someone who's upset or yelling, that's what you gotta do. That's the job."

"In terms of my singing I have sometimes been asked how it all began, and it’s usually been a little hard for me to set the story down in any continuous narrative. From the days of my childhood I’ve been listening to sounds and singers, both colored and white, and absorbing a little bit here and a little bit there. Countless musicians of talent have helped. But it is Billie Holiday, whom I first heard in 52nd Street clubs in the early 1930s, who was and still remains the single greatest musical influence on me. It has been a warm and wonderful influence and I am very proud to acknowledge it. Lady Day is unquestionably the most important influence on American popular singing in the last 20 years. With a few exceptions, every major pop singer in the U.S., during her generation has been touched in some way by her genius."

"What I do with my life is of my own doing. I live it the best way I can."

"If I had as many love affairs as you've given me credit for, I would now be speaking to you from a jar at the Harvard Medical School."

"I would like to be remembered as a man who had a wonderful time living his life, and who had good friends, a fine family. I don't think I could ask for anything more than that, actually."

"You can be the most artistically perfect performer in the world, but an audience is like a broad — if you're indifferent, Endsville."

"Whatever else has been said about me personally is unimportant. When I sing, I believe. I'm honest."

"If you possess something but you can't give it away, then you don't possess it... it possesses you."

"The only male singer who I've seen besides myself and who's better than me – that is Michael Jackson."

"I'm going to be the best singer in the World, [...] the best singer that ever was."

"And may the last voice you hear be mine!"

"I believe in you and me. I'm like Albert Schweitzer and Bertrand Russell and Albert Einstein in that I have a respect for life – in any form. I believe in nature, in the birds, the sea, the sky, in everything I can see or that there is real evidence for. If these things are what you mean by God, then I believe in God. But I don't believe in a personal God to whom I look for comfort or for a natural on the next roll of the dice."

"I'm not unmindful of man's seeming need for faith; I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniel's. But to me religion is a deeply personal thing in which man and God go it alone together, without the witch doctor in the middle."

"There are things about organized religion which I resent. Christ is revered as the Prince of Peace, but more blood has been shed in His name than any other figure in history. You show me one step forward in the name of religion and I'll show you a hundred retrogressions. Remember, they were men of God who destroyed the educational treasures at Alexandria, who perpetrated the Inquisition in Spain, who burned the witches at Salem. Over 25,000 organized religions flourish on this planet, but the followers of each think all the others are miserably misguided and probably evil as well."

"I'm for decency — period. I'm for anything and everything that bodes love and consideration for my fellow man. But when lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday — cash me out."

"If you don't know the guy on the other side of the world, love him anyway because he's just like you. He has the same dreams, the same hopes and fears. It's one world, pal. We're all neighbors."

"I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them."

"For years I've nursed a secret desire to spend the Fourth of July in a double hammock with a swingin' redheaded broad … but I could never find me a double hammock."

"Fear is the enemy of logic."

"The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything."

"[On religion] I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, benzedrine or a bottle of Jack Daniel's."

"There are certain artists who belong to all the people, everywhere, all the time. The list of singers, musicians, and poets must include David the harpist from the Old Testament, Aesop the Storyteller, Omar Khayyam the Tent Maker, Shakespeare the Bard of Avon, Louis Armstrong the genius of New Orleans, Om Kalsoum the soul of Egypt, Frank Sinatra, Mahalia Jackson, Dizzy Gillespie, Ray Charles .... Celia Cruz ... All great artists draw from the same resource: the human heart, which tells us all that we are more alike than we are unalike."

"I'll tell you who liked a laugh [He holds up a finger]. Frank Sinatra. [...] He was very nice, he became my friend, and he loved to laugh. But he never did many things that made you laugh. He was tough ... very tough. He took me to Las Vegas on his private plane, and then I knew every mafia guy in Las Vegas. I had dinner with them all."

"For Sinatra, there was also an androgynous quality, which also makes the youth-middle age transformation interesting. There's also a certain innocence and vulnerability. Something special happened -- when he got up on the stage he was transformed by the gift."

"I think Frank Sinatra was the most hated man of World War II, much more than Hitler."

"It's Frank's world, we're all just livin' in it."

"I did not want to do anything hokey, corny or make a tribute to Sinatra. So when I went in, I felt the best way was to be absolutely honest, rather than hope I could turn the script my way later."

"Worst of all was when I went to see Frank Sinatra in Atlantic City and left before the end because I didn't want to be recognized when the lights went up. I heard later that the woman I had been sitting next to was a friend of Sinatra's and she said to him after the show 'Guess who was here? Nina Simone.' And Sinatra said 'Why didn't anybody tell me? Why wasn't she up here with me?' I cried for a year when I heard that."

"Sinatra with a cold is Picasso without paint, without fuel — only worse."

"He seemed now to be also the embodiment of the fully emancipated male, perhaps the only one in America, the man who can do anything he wants, anything, can do it because he has money, the energy, and no apparent guilt. ... The man who had everything, lost it, then got it back, letting nothing stand in his way, doing what few men can do."

"Words that warmed women, wooed and won them, snipped the final thread of inhibition and gratified the male egos of ungrateful lovers; [...] for which they were eternally in his debt, for which they may eternally hate him."

"Sinatra brings out the best and worst in people."

"All the Way; All or Nothing at All. This is the Sicilian in Sinatra; he permits his friends, if they wish to remain that, none of the easy Anglo-Saxon outs. But if they remain loyal, then there is nothing Sinatra will not do in turn — fabulous gifts, personal kindnesses, encouragement when they're down, adulation when they're up. They are wise to remember, however, one thing. He is Sinatra. The boss. Il Padrone."

"He is what in traditional Sicily have long been called uomini rispettati — men of respect: men who are both majestic and humble, men who are loved by all and are very generous by nature, men whose hands are kissed as they walk from village to village, men who would personally go out of their way to redress a wrong."

"He is a wholly unpredictable man of many moods and great dimension, a man who responds instantaneously to instinct — suddenly, dramatically, wildly he responds, and nobody can predict what will follow."

"The whole thing had lasted only about three minutes. And three minutes after it was over, Frank Sinatra had probably forgotten about it for the rest of his life — as Ellison will probably remember it for the rest of his life: he had had, as hundreds of others before him, at an unexpected moment between darkness and dawn, a scene with Sinatra."

"It was suddenly obvious to everybody in the studio that something quite special must be going on inside the man, because something quite special was coming out. He was singing now, cold or no cold, with power and warmth, he was letting himself go, the public arrogance was gone, the private side was in this song about the girl who, it is said, understands him better than anybody else, and is the only person in front of whom he can be unashamedly himself."

"He has everything, he cannot sleep, he gives nice gifts, he is not happy, but he would not trade, even for happiness, what he is...."

"He never knows whether they want him for what he can do for them now — or will do for them later."

"When Sinatra sits to dine, his trusted friends are close; and no matter where he is, no matter how elegant the place may be, there is something of the neighborhood showing because Sinatra, no matter how far he has come, is still something of the boy from the neighborhood — only now he can take his neighborhood with him."

"It no longer matters what song he is singing, or who wrote the words — ​they are all his words, his sentiments, they are chapters from the lyrical novel of his life."

"Frank Sinatra stopped his car. The light was red. Pedestrians passed quickly across his windshield but, as usual, one did not. It was a girl in her twenties. She remained at the curb staring at him. Through the corner of his left eye he could see her, and he knew, because it happens almost every day, that she was thinking, It looks like him, but is it? Just before the light turned green, Sinatra turned toward her, looked directly into her eyes waiting for the reaction he knew would come. It came and he smiled. She smiled and he was gone."

"It's great to be Black in Hollywood. When a Black actor does something, it seems new and different just by virtue of the fact that he's Black."

"I feel like I could run for President. People often laugh, but if I set my mind to it, within the next 15 years I could be in the White House."

"Even Hitler didn't wake up going, "let me do the most evil thing I can do today." I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was "good." Stuff like that just needs reprogramming. … I wake up every day full of hope, positive that every day is going to be better than yesterday. And I'm looking to infect people with my positivity. I think I can start an epidemic."

"The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill, right? I will run. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, right, there’s two things. You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple, right?"

"Aaaah. It's Rewind time. If I could controlled Rewind I would want Fortnite and Marques Brownlee."

"Keep my wife's name out [of] your fucking mouth!"

"That was a horrific night, as you can imagine. You know, there’s many nuances and complexities to it, but at the end of the day, I just, I lost it, you know? And I guess what I would say, you just never know what somebody’s going through. In the audience right now, you are sitting next to strangers, and somebody’s mother died last week, somebody’s child is sick, somebody just lost their job, somebody just found out their spouse cheated. You just don’t know what is going on with people. And I was going through something that night. Not that that justifies my behavior at all."

"The important thing with a child is that you love them, you protect them and you help them to grow and find out who they are. And as a parent, it's my responsibility to help them to become independent and get all the knowledge and a broad view of the world and life. I know that Nic [former wife Nicole Kidman] absolutely agrees with that. And that's what's important: being there."

"I kept looking [at wife Katie Holmes] and thinking, 'This woman's amazing.' I'm happy that I'm with her. She's amazing, and I'd think the same of her even if she wasn't with me -- she's just amazing."

"It was more than fun, and it was more than great... It was historic. What Oprah did by acknowledging those women... they've not only had an impact on women, and African-American women, but on men, and on the world. They really have changed the culture for the better. It's a great inspiration."

"Sex is about the connection. Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular."

"I think it's a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist and it's something you have to earn. And because a Scientologist does, he or she has the ability to create new and better realities, and improve conditions."

"There was a time I went through [the Scientology doctrine], I said, you know what, when I read it, I just thought 'Whoa', this is it. This is exactly it."

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else, it's, you drive past, you know you have to do something about it. You know you are the only one who can really help. That's what drives me."

"We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind. We are the authorities on improving conditions. Criminon (sic). We can rehabilitate criminals. We can bring peace and unite cultures."

"It's like, we're here to help. If you're a Scientologist, you see life, things, the way they are, in all its glory, in all of its perplexity, and the more you know as a Scientologist, you don't become overwhelmed by it."

"I have to tell you something. It really is, you know, it's rough and tumble. It's wild and woolly. It's a blast...it's a blast. It really is fun, because dammit, there's nothing better than to going out there and fighting the fight …"

"I want to know that I've done everything I could every day I think of all those people out there who are depending on us. I think about it. It does make me feel we need more work, more help. Get those spectators on the playing field, or out of the arena. Really, that is how I feel about it. I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything … there's nothing part of the way for me."

"I believe in God. … There is no way you can be up here [in the Rocky Mountains] and think that there isn't a God."

"But even when I started out with Risky Business and Top Gun came out, there was the paparazzi. You knew them, and I could go up to them and say, 'Give me a break tonight. I'll give you the shots tomorrow'."

"That's laughable to me. That stuff's laughable."

"Tom Cruise, he’s a lot more famous than me."

"Working with Tom is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given by this business."

"When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise."

"The real movie stars were Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Spencer Tracy, Montgomery Clift. How could I put myself in the same category as Clark Gable? Tom Cruise is a great movie star. Do I consider myself a movie star? I consider myself a guy with a good job, an interesting job."

"I hate Tom Cruise. First of all, he’s always smiling. No 5' 8" man, not even one who lives on a diet of Ritalin and gin, is happy like that all the time. He’s always got this shit-eating grin on his face, like he just got a note from his managers telling him that Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman are extending their confidentiality agreements. Second, in TV interviews Tom laughs inappropriately and much too vociferously at non-humorous declarative statements, which is ironic because in real life he can’t take a fucking joke at all."

"We used to get arrested every other week — that is, the old man would get arrested."

"The funny thing about our act is that dad gets the worst of it, although I'm the one who apparently receives the bruises … the secret is in landing limp and breaking the fall with a foot or a hand. It's a knack. I started so young that landing right is second nature with me. Several times I'd have been killed if I hadn't been able to land like a cat. Imitators of our act don't last long, because they can't stand the treatment."

"A picture without falls is as bad as Niagara in the same fix."

"Marriage is fine as an institution, but bad as a habit."

"Our hero came from Nowhere — he wasn't going Anywhere and he got kicked off Somewhere."

"If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window."

"Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?"

"One who never smiled, carried a face as still and sad as a daguerreotype through some of the most preposterously ingenious and visually satisfying comedy ever invented. That was Buster Keaton."

"Perhaps because ‘dry’ comedy is so much more rare and odd than ‘dry’ wit, there are people that never much cared for Keaton. Those who do cannot care mildly."

"He was by his whole style and nature so much the most deeply "silent" of the silent comedians that even a smile was as deafeningly out of key as a yell. In a way his pictures are like a transcendent juggling act in which it seems that the whole universe is in exquisite flying motion and the one point of repose is the juggler’s effortless, uninterested face."

"No other comedian could do as much with the dead-pan. He used this great, sad, motionless face to suggest various related things; a one track mind near the track’s end of pure insanity; mulish imperturbability under the wildest of circumstances; how dead a human being can get and still be alive; an awe-inspiring sort of patience and power to endure, proper to granite but uncanny in flesh and blood."

"The older Keaton got, the more one could see eternity in his look."

"The screen was just a white sheet. They had this flickering machine. That was the first time I saw this angel with a white face and these beautiful eyes. I knew this was something special. It was the first time I saw Keaton. He wore a flat pancake of a hat, and I just couldn't believe the man's grace."

"I could tell you that those wonderful stories were 90% Buster's... I was often ashamed to take the money, much less the credit."

"What a creative genius — what an inventor… A guy like that, you just sit back and say, okay, I'll never get there!"

"I just want that one day, when I retire, that people still remember me like they remember Buster. I really want someone to respect me the way they respect Buster."

"Watch his beautiful, compact body as it pirouettes or pretzels in tortured permutations or, even more elegantly, stands in repose as everything goes crazy around it. Watch his mind as it contemplates a hostile universe whose violent whims Buster understands, withstands and, miraculously, tames. Watch his camera taking his picture (Keaton directed or supervised all his best films); it is as cool as the star it captured in its glass... The medium was still in its infancy; comics were pioneering the craft of making people laugh at moving images. Keaton, it turns out, knew it all — intuitively."

"There are moments in many of his movies that are just poetic... In doing silent movies, no one had done this yet!"

"For me its Buster Keaton's face, with maybe his little hat on... It's being able to look into his eyes and see that sad face."

"He was doing stuff that was surreal."

"It's said that Chaplin wanted you to like him, but Keaton didn't care. I think he cared, but was too proud to ask. His films avoid the pathos and sentiment of the Chaplin pictures, and usually feature a jaunty young man who sees an objective and goes for it in the face of the most daunting obstacles. Buster survives tornados, waterfalls, avalanches of boulders, and falls from great heights, and never pauses to take a bow: He has his eye on his goal. And his movies, seen as a group, are like a sustained act of optimism in the face of adversity; surprising, how without asking, he earns our admiration and tenderness. Because he was funny, because he wore a porkpie had, Keaton's physical skills are often undervalued … no silent star did more dangerous stunts than Buster Keaton. Instead of using doubles, he himself doubled for his actors, doing their stunts as well as his own."

"Another 'great,' and I use that word very carefully, not the way Milton Berle uses it. One of the reasons I love Buster so much is because he lives comedy as well as practices it. Some of his things are better than Chaplin's."

"With his dark, sensitive looks, his face in repose evoking years of quiet contemplation, he resembled a mixture of Buddhist monk and fashion model. He offered the ideal face and acting style for motion pictures, proving less is more. He would become a master of knowing when to do nothing at all."

"Maybe the trouble is that modern comics strive too hard to be sophisticated and knowing. What we've lost over the years is innocence and, as Keaton and company prove, innocence is an integral part of comedy."

"Buster Keaton... will be around forever, because it's unlikely that human beings will ever go out-of-date the way special effects do. Keaton running and clambering onto a moving Civil War train in The General is infinitely more exciting than Christian Slater jumping from a helicopter onto a speeding locomotive in Broken Arrow because what Keaton does is real, and the camera captures and preserves his feats for posterity. In Broken Arrow we never see Slater (or the stuntman, for that matter) leaping from the helicopter to the train. Instead there are several cuts, and we must suspend our disbelief and assume that the feat has been accomplished. Which means that it's no feat at all."

"What Keaton did physically, is actually quite startling when you discover that he did all of his own stunts… The famous one is when the house falls. He had to stand on a mark. I'm told it was a nail — if he moved an inch to one side he would have been crushed to death."

"You can't undo the past but you can certainly not repeat it."

"I'm staggered by the question of what it's like to be a multimillionaire. I always have to remind myself that I am."

"This is the war on terrorism; it's worth fighting for."

"I wanted to sign up and fight with you guys, but they told me I was too old."

"If you catch him, just give me four seconds with Saddam Hussein."

"This is the same fight the US fought 60 years ago"

"The terrorists today are much the same as those we fought in WW II."

"I'm sick of answering this fucking question. I'm a Republican only as far as I want a smaller government, I want less government intrusion. I want them to stop shitting on my money and your money and tax dollars that we give 50 percent of... every year. I want them to be fiscally responsible and I want these goddamn lobbyists out of Washington. Do that and I'll say I'm a Republican... I hate the government, OK? I'm apolitical. Write that down. I'm not a Republican."

"If you take one out or change one law, then why wouldn’t they take all your rights away from you?"

"Paradigms, especially old ones, die harder than Bruce Willis."

"It was offered to me. When Spielberg says jump, bitches say how high?"

"I mean, I did ride the Paris subway in an attempt to get pick-pocketed in order to see how exactly they did it. My buddy was videoing the whole thing. No one picked my pocket. We got bolder and bolder as we went, but it didn’t pan out for us."

"I think there is really good chance that Sarah Palin could be president and I think that is a scary thing, because I don't know anything about her. I don't think in eight weeks I'm going to know anything about her. I know she was a mayor of a really, really small town, and she is governor of Alaska for less than two years. I just don't understand. I think the pick was made for political purposes, but in terms of governance it is a disaster. You do the actuary tables, you know there is one out of three chance or more that McCain doesn't survive his first term, and it will be President Palin. It really … I was talking about it earlier, it is like a really bad Disney movie, you know. The hockey mom, I'm just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she is the president. She is like facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. You know it is absurd. It is totally absurd, and I don't understand why more people aren't talking about how absurd it is. It is a really terrifying possibility. The fact that we have gotten this far, and with that close this being a reality is crazy. I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. That's an important. … I want to know that. I really do. Because she's going to have the nuclear codes, you know. I want to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago or whether she banned books or tried to ban books. I mean, we can't have that."

"My thoughts on veganism are that it’s a wonderful thing to do. I just can’t do it. I tried. Casey Affleck and I made a movie in the desert in Argentina like 12 years ago and he’s a vegan and I tried to eat vegan and I lasted like two days. I just, I literally can’t do it. And I know…that might be bad."

"Sweetheart, I'm the biggest ripped-off cartoonist in the history of the world, and that's all I'm going to say."

"Four guys could get together and make their own movie, in a year, but nobody does it 'cause they got bills to pay. What I'm saying is, that's what I would do, if I was young. I wouldn't even get a job. I'd get a couple of computers and a bunch of guys, we'd eat crap for a year, millionaires the next year if we did a good film. It's so extraordinary. Instead of crying about getting a job at Disney or "things are falling apart", things the old animators were doing when I was a kid, "it's all crumbling!" It's not crumbling, you're crumbling! You got these computers that could do this stuff for nothing! What do you do with it? You try to get a job for some asshole studio. It's so dumb."

"When I had my own company on Traffic and Coonskin, all metaphors were able to get to the screen clearly. In Cool World, with the producer and Paramount watching me carefully to make sure I was in good taste, I instinctively poured stuff into the picture that I wanted to talk about. But when you force stuff, it's not really very clear. But, I have a great love for Max Fleischer, especially some of his Black & White Betty Boops with their strange Cab Calloway and Louis Armstrong black folk tale jazz hipness that part of Cool World was a homage in style to those films and that style of cartooning. The Grim Reaper is right out of a Max Fleischer cartoon or old Terrytoons, which is why I hired and love Milton Knight the artist. He understands totally the Uncle Remus fable like qualities behind Fleischer and Terrytoons. Milton Knight is probably the purest artist of that style in the business. He has a hard time because studios think he is old fashioned...but that's the point."

"Did I have a responsibility to discuss issues? Absolutely. Bobby Dylan was discussing issues – Disney wasn’t."

"Wizards was about the creation of the state of Israel and the Holocaust, about the Jews looking for a homeland, and about the fact that fascism was on the rise again, I thought. That was way before the Right Wing made their appearance again, and I felt that things were shifting back. So on that level, Wizards was a very personal film."

"Sick of Hollywood, tired of fighting and selling out as an artist. I don't believe anyone should do the same thing for the rest of his life. We get a very short time on this planet. Challenging oneself is very important. It's not that I couldn't make other great animated films, but I'd done what I wanted to do, which was make animation an adult medium, if one wanted it to be. And I'd proven to myself that it could work, and it was time to move on to something else. When I sell a painting, I get very excited. I need one person to like what I do, not a million. It's a different structure here. Plus the Hollywood thing. I mean, Hollywood is no place to grow up, no place to live. It's no place to have any friends, no place to enjoy life. It's a disgusting, horrible, craze-driven town. It's only how much do you make, or how fancy a car you have, that determines your status there. And everyone's lying so much that they don't even know they're lying anymore. There's no reality to Hollywood. The fees they pay directors are obnoxious, the money they spend on movies could feed entire starving African... I mean, fuck 'em. I made a few bucks and got out. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with those people. They're disgusting people, and you can quote me on that. There's a lot of great talent there, but it's no place I wanted to spend much time. I'd rather spend time with Rembrandt and Goya at home. They're better company than those schmucks who never read Lord Of The Rings."

"Where I live, nobody who's fourteen is having sex and doing major drugs. And I think if you see it in the movies, you may be influenced by it. I think it's so important to preserve your innocence."

"I don't mean to criticize anyone in any way that I wouldn't criticize myself. I think people should have fun, and have a good time, and enjoy the luck that we have to be lazy and dwell in consumerism. But I think that it's a balance. And our job as actors is empathy. Our job is to imagine what someone else's life is like. And if you can't do that in real life, if you can't do that as a human being, then good luck as an actor.... I just think it's an important thing to engage in the world. And it's just too easy not to in our society."

"It was wonderful playing a young queen with so much power. I think it will be good for young women to see a strong woman of action who is also smart and a leader."

"It’s weird that there are so many people at Harvard who do amazing things outside the classroom. It just so happens that people like to watch what I do."

"Everyone has to find what is right for them, and it is different for everyone. Eating for me is how you proclaim your beliefs three times a day. That is why all religions have rules about eating. Three times a day, I remind myself that I value life and do not want to cause pain to or kill other living beings. That is why I eat the way I do."

"Factory farming of animals will be one of the things we look back on as a relic of a less-evolved age."

"I’ve taught at Harvard, Dartmouth and Vassar, and I’ve had the privilege of teaching a lot of very bright kids. There are very few who are as inherently bright as Natalie is, who have as much intellectual horsepower, who work as hard as she did. She didn’t take a single thing for granted."

"Jerusalem-born actress Natalie Portman has only harsh words for...[Israel's] controversial “nation-state law” passed over the summer formally recognizing the country as a Jewish state despite its large population of non-Jewish Arabs. “It’s racist... It’s wrong and I disagree...”... Portman told the BBC it’s “hard to be from a place” where laws like this are in place. “It’s like your family ― you love them the most and you also feel the most critical.” ...Portman’s critique comes eight months after she backed out of a major Israeli award ceremony in Jerusalem where she was scheduled to receive a prestigious honor. The “Black Swan” actress explained in a statement that she did not want to appear to support Netanyahu... Her statement...said, “Like many Israelis and Jews around the world, I can be critical of the leadership in Israel without wanting to boycott the entire nation.”"

"Israeli-American actress Natalie Portman again lashed at Israeli policies in an interview published in a Palestinian-owned newspaper Thursday, calling the controversial Nation-State Law "racist" and a "mistake." Portman, born Neta-Lee Hershlag in Jerusalem, also told the London-based Al- Quds Al-Arabi that law “oppressed Palestinians.”... The Nation-State Law... defines Israel as “the national home of the Jewish people.” It also drops Arabic as an official language... it has stoked anger among critics who, like Portman, argue that it is racist. Portman said she “doesn’t agree” with the principle of the contentious law. "It’s a mistake… I only hope that we will really love our neighbors and work together," she said."

"You can only make the slit so much higher, the stiletto so much taller."

"I guess I'm hyper-self-conscious about people thinking that I'm egotistical, but there's a difference between being egotistical and knowing your value as a product and an actor. I know my value as a product, and I've divorced myself as a human from myself as a product."

"... style without substance is nothing, the substance in the story was the most important thing. Of course, there is a layer of style. If I were a director working in a different era, I would have had to be at MGM. I don't think I'd probably know how to make anything but enhanced reality, because that's what comes naturally to me."

"I believe in a parallel universe of image and fantasy that isn't so much fantasy as it is forever sealed in films and things that have entertained us for years. This parallel universe has influenced me perhaps even more than the real world or the physical world. Because when I think of certain things, like a beautiful woman, its most likely someone I saw on film... these are things I've been taking from film or television and applying it to real life."

"I was really intimidated, but then the acting kicks in. We have a similar fire, so he doesn't intimidate me in that way; I can get really angry, I can get in your face too."

"If the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, that’s just the way it is. That’s what makes my wheels turn."

"We must choose between two paths. Either we conclude that Americans have lost control over their government or we reject this information as a mere distortion of history. In the first case we become advocates of the conspiratorial view of history in the later we endorse the accidental view. It is a difficult choice.The reason it is difficult is that we have been conditioned to laugh at conspiracy theories, and few people will risk public ridicule by advocating them. On the other hand, to endorse the accidental view is absurd. Almost all of history is an unbroken trail of one conspiracy after another. Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception."

"The so-called charity of collectivism is a perversion of the Biblical story of the Good Samaritan who stopped along the highway to help a stranger who had been robbed and beaten. He even takes the victim to an inn and pays for his stay there until he recovers. Everyone approves of such acts of compassion and charity, but what would we think if the Samaritan had pointed his sword at the next traveler and threatened to kill him if he didn't also help? If that had happened, I doubt if the story would have made it into the Bible; because, at that point, the Samaritan would be no different than the original robber &ndash; who also might have had a virtuous motive. For all we know, he could have claimed that he was merely providing for his family and feeding his children. Most crimes are rationalized in this fashion, but they are crimes nevertheless. When coercion enters, charity leaves.Individualists refuse to play this game. We expect everyone to be charitable, but we also believe that a person should be free not to be charitable if he doesn't want to. If he prefers to give to a different charity than the one we urge on him, if he prefers to give a smaller amount that what we think he should, or if he prefers not to give at all, we believe that we have no right to force him to our will. We may try to persuade him to do so; we may appeal to his conscience; and especially we may show the way by our own good example; but we reject any attempt to gang up on him, either by physically restraining him while we remove the money from his pockets or by using the ballot box to pass laws that will take his money through taxation. In either case, the principle is the same. It's called stealing."

"Collectivists would have you believe that individualism is merely another word for selfishness, because individualists oppose welfare and other forms of coercive redistribution of wealth, but just the opposite is true. Individualists advocate true charity, which is the voluntary giving of their own money, while collectivists advocate the coercive giving of other people's money; which, of course, is why it is so popular."

"The very wise and wealthy financiers of the world--going way back, even before Rothschild's time--have observed that the world was a pretty rocky place to live in, and that nations were always fighting over something or other, there was always somebody who was trying to conquer somebody else, and wars were universal. Too bad about that, but that's the way it is. So we--the bankers--found out that if we loan money to them that we'll get paid back - they don't question what the interest rate is because they're fighting a war! And if they can win the war they can just plunder the victim and pay us whatever we want out of the plunder - it doesn't cost them anything really. Then the issue comes up of what happens if one of these nations decides not to pay us? Ah! The answer is very simple: if they refuse to pay us back we'll finance an opposing nation, a revolutionary group somewhere else to become an enemy of that nation and attack it, and destroy it, invade it. We'll create another war, in other words, in order to get our money back, we'll finance this side to attack that side. And so, by financing all sides in a war, and keeping the world divided up into warring fractions so that no one unit is particularly stronger than the other, the banks can continue to finance all sides of wars forever, and always collect their interest, because they have the ability of putting one nation against another nation against another nation to collect their debts."

"At first you think, 'Gosh, monkeys, that's so kind of incredible … But you started to kind of feel a little bit, not competitive with the monkeys, but that they weren't really — they didn't really have your best interests at heart.They aren't these … They want to replace you. They're not that impressed with the opposable thumbs.'"

"I just like the themes it's exploring. In the way my character says, "I want us to become brothers again, like we used to be." I really like that line, and it means a lot to me. I just find there's a lot of things like that in this movie that have that feeling. There's stuff that feels exhilarating."

"Drew Barrymore: Eddie Vedder said something like, "The more you're known as a personality, the less you're accepted as an entertainer." Edward Norton: I would agree with that. On the other hand, I hate the "dark prince" act that some actors put on when they're doing publicity. If it's for real, if you're really a dark prince, then don't sit down with an interviewer and act like a dark prince. I don't necessarily love doing these things, but once you've agreed to do them, I think you ought to get on board."

"An all-too-common reaction to something like racism is to hate the act so much you dismiss the person. But in [American History X] you're forced to confront the complexity of the character and his tragedy - and the fact, which people don't want to recognise, that someone like him can come out of a normal middle-class home."

"My feeling is that it is film, the responsibility of people making films and people making all art to specifically address dysfunctions in the culture. I think that any culture where the art is not reflecting a really dysfunctional component of the culture, is a culture in denial. And i think that's much more intensely dangerous on lots of levels than considered examinations of those dysfunctions throught art is dangerous."

"Susan Sarandon ruined the world when she had a kid when she was, like, fucking 96 years old. Now, every actress wants to wait to have a kid at 90. I said to Heather, “How do you know you’ll get the same attention from men when you’re that age?” She was like, “Oh, you just like me for my blonde hair, my blue eyes and my big tits?” There was too long a pause before I answered, “Well…” and she just stormed out."

"If you ever bought a dog what did you buy? You bought a fucking puppy. You don't buy a 13-year-old German shepherd. You buy a nice young puppy - what are you crazy?"

"He is a Muslim. He can deny it, his apologists in the media can refute it, and his enablers can promote a narrative that he is a Christian. It’s a pack of lies. Obama is a Muslim and that is where his allegiance lies. Always has. Always will."

"The degree to which this one Nazi collaborator has undermined the stability of Western democracies is virtually incalculable. He is satanic."

"Let’s be clear. Our problem today is not black versus white. Our problem today is George Soros versus America."

"#Antifa is merely a pawn in the plan engineered by Soros and the Deep State."

"Asians are ruthless in war. Ask any American who fought in WWII, in Korea, or in Vietnam. Could China have engineered this virus (high contagion/low lethality) as a warning to President Trump not to interfere with the cozy globalist trade deals arranged by Clinton and Obama?"

"People who get what they want are often surprised when they also get what they deserve."

"Scratch a liberal, and you will find a fascist every time."

"I will be suing the Democratic National Committee, no matter what. Whether I win or lose, I am going to stand up for the rights of every American, not a so-called celebrity, I’m not a celebrity anymore. I’m hardly recognizable anymore because my career has been destroyed by these very people. And I will sue and I’m hoping other people will sue. And if it turns out there are a lot of us on this list where the DNC targeted us, and I will quote the immortal words of Joseph Wells when he attacked Joe McCarthy for the enemy’s list he had, at long last sir, have you no shame? President Biden, all of your Stasi little operatives in the DNC who have targeted American citizens, have you, Mr. President, have all of you at last, no shame?"

"I can't believe I ever went out with him. That's one of those relationships you look back on and say, "What was I doing?""

"James Woods tried to pick me and my friend up at a restaurant once. He wanted to take us to Vegas. "I'm 16" I said. "Even better" he said."

"I think James Wood is a great actor, despite the fact that he’s a Republican, you know, psychopath… [and] was hitting on me as a teenager, in full monster makeup."

"I have a history, a long history of being stereotyped as a five-foot-two woman, which is very limiting. I've worked so hard to create characters that have dignity. And I think everybody knows that I have a very pro-woman message in my work — and in my life."

"I have to be honest with you. Comedy is what I want to see at the movies these days. Life is frickin' hard, man. I want to go to the movies and see people happy and enjoying themselves and having some fun. I've made other kinds of movies, for sure. But it's pretty apparent to me that's what people want. That's what I want. I enjoy those kinds of movies."

"I have a good memory for certain things. And a very short memory for painful things — that's my favorite Martha Stewart quote, by the way."

"You know, I used to not understand fashion, a lot of it, but I completely understood being a playwright or a screenwriter and suddenly having an actor say your words and making them come to life. That I can understand. Finally, I'm starting to understand this."

"I'm always endlessly surprised about the people who come into my life, who I get to collaborate with. I feel really overwhelmed by those opportunities. But it's not like I fell off the turnip truck and suddenly became who I am. I really have worked hard for it, and I have to acknowledge that. I care about what I do, and I have a sense of pride in my work. And you can never be totally settled as an actor or artist or musician. You have to keep the fire under you, because that's what makes you better."

"You spend months and months listening to the music, absorbing, practicing, working with real musicians who worked with them and getting as much of that as you can. And then the day you start shooting, you have to throw it all away. Because, they had no self-consciousness. They were natural performers and at that time, it wasn't about how you could synthesize a voice and make it appealing, it was about the natural little hiccups and the way you related a story or wrote the soul in the words you wrote. And 90% of your popularity was your performance and your interpretation of your own song. So, once we learned it all you just have to just kind of hope it all sunk in somewhere and just let it all go, cause they just had incredible confidence."

"I see the new Latin artist as a pioneer, opening up doors for others to follow. And when they don't open, we crowbar our way in."

"We are taking our culture and suturing it to America. Like gum on the bottom of a shoe, we are not going to disappear. Unlike other peoples who totally assimilated, we are more interested in co-assimilation."

"America may not realize it yet, but Latin prototypes are being created right now, and not just by me. They are these mambo kings and salsa queens, Aztec lords and Inca princesses, every Hernandez and Fernandez, whom this country will one day come to understand and respect."

"He was like twitching and frothing and it was my father, … I went like all pale. I felt all the blood leave my body. And then my father was like, 'How dare you?' And he stormed out of the theater and I followed him and we fought and argued and hugged and he cried and we made up."

"You grow up Latin in this country and you're a third class citizen from the word go, and so you have to deal with everything around you from that point of view and trying to feel entitled."

"There were no Latin people on 'Star Trek,' that this was proof that they weren't planning to have us around for the future."

"Latins for Republicans - it's like roaches for Raid."

"I was familiar with that and “Rio Bravo.” “Rio Bravo” was what John Carpenter did, that brilliant move of taking a western and turning it into an urban flick. And from there you got, you know, all the cop genre movies of the time."

"He made the characters a lot more three-dimensional. It's still a 'B' movie and it's still kinda campy. Now it's these really well-developed characters, really three-dimensional."

"He thinks he can use the jail for networking to be somebody. In that way, he's always operating."

"He wanted to be a lawyer, couldn't afford it, so he started dealing to go to college - good intention."

"I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most."

"There was no point. It's already done. Let's leave that alone. I mean, if you're not going to come there with something new, then just leave it alone."

"Yeah, that came out of a reading. It was great. It's such a fun crew to be with, and we all went out the night before and that really encouraged us to go out and get drunk."

"I've been learning a lot about myself from reading about all the stuff I've been up to, not based on any form of truth. I lead a pretty boring life — I sit at home, I'm on the Internet, I eat cereal — that's a typical night for me. I read online about all the places I've been out partying and all the women I've been out partying with. I'm like, "Wow, I should probably go to that place. It sounds like fun. It sounds like I had a good time there." I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading."

"You tolerate me. You really tolerate me."

"Many of your actions to date and those proposed seem to violate every defining principle of this country over which you preside; intolerance of debate (“with us or against us”), marginalization of your critics, the promoting of fear through unsubstantiated rhetoric, manipulation of a quick comfort media, and the position of your administration’s deconstruction of civil liberties all contradict the very core of the patriotism you claim. You lead, it seems, through a bloodlined sense of entitlement. Take a close look at your most vehement media supporters. See the fear in their eyes as their loud voices of support ring out with that historically disastrous undercurrent of rage and panic masked as “straight tough talk.” How far have we come from understanding what it is to kill one man, one woman, or one child, much less the “collateral damage” of many hundreds of thousands. Your use of the words “this is a new kind of war” is often accompanied by an odd smile. It concerns me that what you are asking of us is to abandon all previous lessons of history in favor of following you blindly into the future. It worries me because with all your best intentions, an enormous economic surplus has been squandered. Your administration has virtually dismissed the most fundamental environmental concerns and therefore, by implication, one gets the message that, as you seem to be willing to sacrifice the children of the world, would you also be willing to sacrifice ours."

"Thank you. If there's one thing that actors know, other than that there weren't any WMDs, it's that there is no such thing as best in acting. And That's proven by these great actors that I was nominated with as well as the — as well as the Giamattis, Cages, Downey Jrs., Nicholsons, etc. that were not nominated. We know how great all of you were. My daughter Dylan and son Hopper find it presumptuous and embarrassing to write a speech, and so I'm gonna give it a go without. God, I really thank Clint Eastwood professionally and humanly for coming into my life. The great, great cast that I had to work with, my friends. Where do you go? Dennis Lehane, Brian Helgeland, Ma. Dad. Robin, for being an undying emotional inspiration on this rollercoaster I'm learning to enjoy. Thank you all very much."

"You and your smarmy pundits — and the smarmy pundits you have in your pocket — can take your war and shove it. Let's unite not only in stopping this war, but in holding this administration accountable. Let's make this crystal clear: We do support our troops, but not the exploitation of them and their families. The money that's spent on this war would be better spent on building levees in New Orleans and health care in Africa and care for our veterans. Iraq is not our toilet. It's a country of human beings whose lives that were once oppressed by Saddam are now in Dante's Inferno."

"When you have a precedent set like that, and you have somebody, George Tenet, acknowledging in his book that he knew that the administration was deceiving the American people into a situation that is murdering young men and women from this country and others, that George Tenet and Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice and George Bush, et al., should be in fucking jail."

"Thank you, you Commie, homo-loving sons of guns."

"Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it. And this is mainstream media. There should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies."

"Who gave this son of a bitch his green card? Birdman!"

"I am a little god! Critics, be gone!"

"God draws no distinction between Himself and us. God opens up the union of the very godhead (Trinity), and brings us into it."

"If you have been healed or saved or blessed through TBN and have not contributed to (the) station, you are robbing God and will lose your reward in heaven."

"I can name 30 or 40 sequences that were some of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. Whether it's going in and out of frozen rivers, or sleeping in animal carcasses, or what I ate on set. (I was) enduring freezing cold and possible hypothermia constantly."

"There's no other art form in the world that affects me more."

"I like my name. My parents were in the Uffizi Gallery looking at a Leonardo Da Vinci when my mom felt me kick. That's how I got my name. My parents were real hippies."

"Drugs? Every one has a choice and I choose not to do drugs."

"With Romeo and Juliet, you're talking about two people who meet one night, and get married the same night. I believe in love at first sight-but it hasn't happened to me yet."

"I'm absolutely clean. I've never tried anything. That's not a lie!."

"I'm not the sort of person who tries to be cool or trendy. I'm definitely an individual."

"I don't have emotions about a lot of things. I rarely get angry, I rarely cry. I guess I do get excited a lot, but I don't get sad and enormously happy."

""You learn after a while that it's not getting your face recognised that's the payoff. It's having your film remembered."

"I hate speaking in front of a large audience. I don't know where it came from...but its just this gut-wrenching fear of slipping up and doing something horrible."

"I’ve always kind of made sure to maintain the sense of who I am and never be mean or cruel or snotty to anyone. Because, at the end of the day, it's not going to help you last in the business, and who wants to be around someone like that? I don't want to turn into ‘that guy.’ That guy!"

"My God, no! I hate this whole hunk thing! I feel when I see myself in that, and these other cute faces, that I'm just part of this meat factory, like, 'Wow! Here's the hunk of the month! This month we're shoving Leonardo DiCaprio down your throat! Isn't he cute. Let's put him on the cover and we'll sell so many more magazines...' That's definitely not what I want to be, and I've tried real hard to get away from that whole situation."

"If you can do what you do best and be happy, you're further along in life than most people."

"The main thing for me right now is just to live my life with my family and friends. They treat me like Leo, not 'Leonardo, Master Thespian'. That's all I need to keep my sanity."

"The last thing I want to turn into is a fat Hollywood jerk. I was brought up without much money and I was happy. I don't think that I will strive for money or success and end up greedy or big-headed. That only leads to unhappiness. I can still be down-to-earth and do this job as long as I enjoy it."

"Don't think for a moment that I'm really like any of the characters I play. That's why it's called acting."

"It was pretty disheartening to be objectified like that. I wanted to stop acting for a little bit. But it changed my life in a lot of ways, but at the same time, I can't say that it didn't give me opportunities. It made me, for the first time, in control of my career. - On Titanic (1997)"

"One of my passions is to meet people and then imitate them. I love doing that."

"I have the same problem as Edward Furlong. I'm so thin!"

""I was behind a woman at the checkout counter who was looking at the magazines. She turned to me and goes, 'There he is again, that Leonardo DiCaprio. Don't you wish he'd just disappear?' I said, this is the moment where I either go, 'Do you know who I am?' or put my hat further down, pay for my corn-nuts and get out of there....I choose to avoid that. (2005)"

"I remember the casting session that I had where I was a break dancer, having this punk hair cut. They rejected me and I became really disillusioned with the business and said well this is what it's all about, and I haven't even got in to read a line. He said don't worry, some day we're going to get you back into this and it's going to happen for you, which I kind of took to heart. It was one of those situations where I was lucky and fortunate enough to be at the right places at the right time. All of a sudden I was on the set of Growing Pains and got this audition for This Boy's Life and was able to jump into the feature film world. It's really been just simply the fact that I'd been able to work, you know what I mean? I would probably still be trying to be an actor even if I was out of work, but I would probably become a little disillusioned at some point and move on to other things. But it's the one thing that I know that I love."

"I'm shy, but when the time comes to be wild, I'm fun-loving, adventurous, and mysterious."

"On his career: "I admit I've done a few lousy roles in the beginning of my career, like my role in Critters 3 (1991). But at that age, you'll do anything for attention!"

"All I know is that when you make a movie it's something you have to live with forever. It's not a job I take lightly."

"And I love doing what I'm doing and I'd get out of it if I hated it that much. I've said it many times before: There are much worse problems in the world, people dealing with things that are phenomenally more complicated."

"My mom and I lived at Hollywood and Western, a drug-dealer and prostitute corner. It was pretty terrifying. I got beat up a lot. I saw people have sex in the alleys. I remember I was five years old, and this guy with a trench coat, needles and crack cornered me. Early on, seeing the devastation on my block, seeing heroin addicts, made me think twice about ever getting involved in drugs. It's evil. Once you take that step and experiment, drugs can take over your life. You are not yourself anymore. That's something I never wanted. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. It was kind of just me and my parents. But because of them, the neighborhood did not have a bad effect on me. My dad introduced me to artists, and every few months we'd go to some hippie doo-dah parade as Mudmen in our underwear, carrying sticks and covered in mud. My mother did everything to get me into the best schools she could find."

"When I was young, I used to have this thing where I wanted to see everything. I used to think, 'How can I die without seeing every inch of this world?'"

"I don't have the guts that Romeo did. [on marriage]"

"Dark green is my favorite color. It's the color of nature and the color of money and the color of moss!"

"Certainly after Titanic, where my face was put on every magazine cover around the world and the movie was such a phenomenon, I really had no control over that. So for the last couple of years, media-wise I've been trying to regain some control in what people say about me."

"The challenge is to understand the psyche of somebody like that. There is no true genius or revolutionary ideas, I don’t think, without some element of compulsiveness or madness or obsession, and that’s certainly indicative of Howard Hughes. Understanding his obsessive-compulsive disorder was really the key for me for opening up who this man was."

"I think it’s a real danger, as an actor, when you try to make some statement through your career about what the business should be doing or ultimately what your image should be or how you want to be perceived. I look at every project that comes along and say, “Is this something I can sink my teeth into and can do a good job on?” That’s really how I choose roles."

"As a little kid growing up in Hollywood, I was called 'a little crazy'. And now I guess I'm still that way."

"The fact that Romeo is dopey, lovey-dovey, and it's a corny story. And I was afraid I'd look like a fuffy."

"A lot of actors ask me “what do you do? How do you get into the business?” My only answer is don’t be discouraged. … You have to commit your life to it, almost, and never give up. It’s a cliché, but it’s true."

""I wasn't surprised that Jamie got the award. But I knew that cameras would be stuffed up my face so I had my response ready. Anyone who says they don't practice is a liar." -on losing out on the Oscar to Jamie Foxx during the 2005 Academy Awards."

"On turning 30: "I kind of feel like the same person except more time has gone by. I hate to say that I feel like an adult now. I have to admit I wish I was still 18. After all, even through the time while I was representing that wild kid, I really wasn't. I was just living my life. I was just not making movies at the time."

"On Martin Scorsese: Martin has brought so much to the art form of film, and he is not the type of person who would be upset by not receiving an Oscar, although it is a practical joke that he has not won an Academy Award after all these years. Whatever opinions critics will have of The Aviator, I really think that this is a great piece of art: once again, he has made a great classic film."

"I like to help the whales, the otters, and the dolphins. When I`m acting and I take a break, the first thing on my list is spending time by the sea."

"I lived in Hollywood and, ironically, I didn't know you could just go out and get an agent and go on auditions and try and become an actor, I thought it was like a Masonic thing, like a blood line you had to belong to - until I was 13. Then I realised what you had to do. It is the one thing I know I want to do for the rest of my life."

"As an actor, you're constantly searching for that great character. Also, being a history buff and learning about people in our past and amazing things that they've done, I came across a book about Howard Hughes and he was set up as basically, the most multi-dimensional character I could ever come across. Often, people have tried to define him in biographies, but no one seems to be able to categorize him."

"On rumors: I've heard some pretty bad rumors...that I'm gay. If I want to go to a party with a few male friends, it doesn't mean that I'm gay. I don't see why I can't have friends of both sexes without rumors being spread about me. It's crazy."

"If you hear of any incident about me - a fight, a change of clothes, a little extra gel in the hair, don't believe it till you talk to me."

"Well it's a risk to do a movie of this calibre on a subject matter and a point in history people are not very familiar with. It's a tough subject to sell - so salary-wise you have to make sacrifices to make a certain film happen. I would have been an idiot to pass up the opportunity to work with Mr Scorsese."

"I’ve been in the business since I was 16, so I’ve had a 14-year career. I’ve always had acting in my blood. Doing this, whatever it is, was something I was drawn to since my earliest memories. Ironically, I lived in Hollywood, but never understood that all it took was getting an agent and being persistent."

"On whether there are any aspects of fame he dislikes: You kidding? I feel very fortunate. A lot of people would love to be in my position. There are so many people out there who are suffering trillions of times more than I could ever suffer, and would love to be me. I am a lucky little bastard."

"Everywhere I go, somebody is staring at me. I don`t know if people are staring because they recognize me or because they think I`m a weirdo."

"I'm probably not going to get married unless I live with somebody for 10 or 20 years. But these people (Romeo and Juliet) took a chance and they did it. We don't have the balls that Romeo did."

"The best thing about acting is that I get to lose myself in another character and actually get paid for it. It`s a great outlet. As for myself, I`m not sure who I am. It seems that I change every day."

"Being dubbed as a hunk sort of annoys me. It gives me a yucky feeling."

"I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand."

"School, I never truly got the knack of. I could never focus on things I didn't want to learn."

"I prefer ordinary girls - you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn't mean we are dating."

"On working with Martin Scorsese in Gangs of New York (2002): "He's a perfectionist, obsessed with detail. That's why he went over budget and over schedule."

"I don't really have many extravagances. I don't fly private jets and I don't have bodyguards and I don't buy crazy things. I have a couple of houses here and there. I bought a very expensive watch, and I am going to buy a really expensive movie poster, the original for The Thief of Bagdad (1940). I love movie posters."

"A consensus has emerged in our scientific community that global warming is no longer merely a theory but a reality, a crisis with truly global implications for planet Earth and all of us who share it. - Told to thousands at the New Jersey concert for Live Earth"

"There are pros and cons to everything. To be able to do what I do and what I love on this level is a very positive thing. There are certain invasions of privacy, but I hate sitting around complaining about it, I just don't like to hear it come out of my mouth. I'm a very fortunate person being able to do what I do."

""People want you to be a crazy, out-of-control teen brat. They want you miserable, just like them. They don't want heroes; what they want is to see you fall."

"Brothers don`t necessarily have to say anything to each other-they can sit in a room and be together and just be completely comfortable with each other."

"Love at first sight? I absolutely believe in it! You`ve got to keep the faith. Who doesn`t like the idea that you could see someone tomorrow and she could be the love of your life? It`s very romantic."

"Yes, I can play younger than my age. But I can play characters older than I am, too. I`m not an actor who can just play the kid."

"People always like to make up stories. I am not planning on getting married. Then again, I might wake up tomorrow and decide to get married!"

"I insist on keeping a level head. I`ve maintained the same exact home life that I`ve had for 20 years. All I see is more people looking at me than before. But, you know, who cares? You just can`t obsess yourself with this fame stuff."

"I've been very lucky to have achieved a lot of the things that I dreamt of achieving as a young man. But, at the end of the day – and I truly believe this – it is not about achieving great wealth or success. Because they don't bring happiness ultimately. They really don't. What matters is whether or not you've fulfilled the idea of having led an interesting life, whether you've contributed in some way to the world around you."

"As an Academy member, you're not allowed to endorse somebody else when they're up for an Academy Award and if you do, there's a good chance you'll lose your membership. But I have to tell you Leo DiCaprio is so amazing in The Revenant"

"We were peers, I think. Leo's an incredibly intelligent guy who's been through a great amount of life experience over the course of the last few years. He's very dedicated and I think he had a very good idea of what he wanted to do and how he wanted to do it."

"He reminds me of that excitement when De Niro and I stumbled upon a way of working together - a similar kind of energy to the actors in the 1970s. It’s very rare for me to find that kind of connection again. Leo will give me the emotion where I least expect it and could only hope for it about three or four scenes. And he can do it take after take.""

"You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 18 [on The Quick and the Dead]. He was a virgin, and he would talk about that constantly. So I'm hoping we have some time so he can fill in what's happened in between. Maybe show some photos. Because I'm sure life's different now."

"DiCaprio is both a famous actor and perhaps the world’s best-known climate activist. He doesn’t speak on the subject of carbon emissions so much as he preaches. “Humans have put our entire existence into jeopardy,” DiCaprio thunders. Climate change is “the most urgent threat facing our entire species.” Those who question climate policy, he declares, should be banned from public office. “The scientific consensus is in, and the argument is now over.” Few preachers live up to the standards they set from the pulpit, and DiCaprio is no exception. In the summer of 2016, DiCaprio was scheduled to receive an award from the environmental group Riverkeeper. He was in Cannes attending the film festival at the time, so he chartered a private jet to fly from France to New York and back. That’s an eight-thousand-mile round-trip, which in addition to being physically exhausting, amounts to a gargantuan carbon footprint, bigger than the average African might emit in a lifetime. For DiCaprio, it was just another Cannes Film Festival. The year before, he was photographed off the coast of France meandering alone on the deck of a 450-foot, $200 million yacht, which he’d rented as an accommodation for the week. Once again, a lot of carbon."

"His two eyes are different," says Lasse Hallstrom, who directed Leo in what may be his best movie, What's Eating Gilbert Grape. "The left eye is very soft and empathetic. The right eye is more analyzing. One eye oozes warmth, while the other is more penetrating. One eye is psyche, the other is intellect."

"He's probably the world's most beautiful-looking man, yet he doesn't think that he's gorgeous. And to me, he's just smelly, farty Leo."

"With those eyes and his intellect, I see no real limit to his potential."

"A stylized version of our IKEA present. It is talking about very simple concepts. We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that societal emasculation this everyman is created."

"We wanted a title sequence that started in the fear center of the brain. [When you hear] the sound of a gun being cocked that's in your mouth, the part of you brain that gets everything going, that realizes that you are fucked - we see all the thought processes, we see the synapses firing, we see the chemical electrical impulses that are the call to arms. And we wanted to sort of follow that out. Because the movie is about thought, it's about how this guy thinks. And it's from his point of view, solely. So I liked the idea of starting a movie from thought, from the beginning of the first fear impulse that went, Oh shit, I'm fucked, how did I get here?"

"You want to be able to provide something, and you're pissing down a fucking well. It will suck you dry and take everything you have and, like being a parent, you can pour as much love as you want, and your kid still says, "Just let me right out here, you don't have to take me all the way." You're working to make yourself obsolete. I'm not going to make Persona - my movies are fairly obvious in what the people want and what it is that's happening; it;s not that internalized. What's internalized is how you process the information from the singular, subjective point of view. And that becomes the subtext of it."

"Film-making encompasses everything, from tricking people into investing in it, to putting on the show, to trying to distill down to moments in time, and ape reality but send this other message. It's got everything. When I was a kid I loved to draw, and I loved my electric football sets, and I painted little things and made sculptures and did matte painting and comic books and illustrated stuff, and took pictures, had a darkroom, loved to tape-record stuff. It's all of that. It's not having to grow up. It's four-dimensional chess, it's strategy, and it's being painfully honest, and unbelievably deceitful, and everything in between."

"The movie is not that violent. There are ideas in the movie that are scary, but the film isn't about violence, the glorification of violence or the embracing of violence. In the movie, violence is a metaphor for feeling. It's a film about the problems or requirements involved with being masculine in today's society."

"Violence shouldn't be presented as drama. I think people looking for an easy way out often write scenes where characters come into violent conflict as opposed to looking for the true drama in the situation. That's a shortcoming of a lot of films and television shows. I think certain presentations of violence are not immoral, but amoral."

"I find it amoral if you're making a movie where the problem is solved with a guy standing in the back of pickup truck firing a machine at the bad guys. The morality of it is questionable because the repercussions of violence are incredibly far-reaching."

"I do like movies that take a toll on the audience. I want to work the subconscious. I want to involve you in ways in which you might not necessarily want to get involved. I want to play off those things that you're expecting to get when the lights go down and the 20th Century Fox logo comes up. There's an audience expectation and I'm interested in how movies play with--and off--that expectation. That's what I'm interested in."

"I always feel ill-prepared for commentaries and it had been so long I was afraid I'd forget everything that happened on the film. But having everybody come together for it was really great. It was like a high school reunion. We all reminisced and just had a great time."

"Oh, yeah, I love DVD's. I don't have what you'd call an extensive collection, maybe a couple of hundred or so. But I have something on almost all the time."

"There are some movies I can watch over and over, never get sick of. I'll put one of those on and be puttering around the house. Then a certain scene will come on and I'll just have to go over and watch."

"You know, I don't think I've ever listened to someone's commentary. Ever."

"I tend to over-intellectualize things, to come at them from a structural point."

"I don't have the Tom Hanks fans. When you make the kind of movies I make, you get weird letters from people."

"You can do something that walks a line, and invariably, whatever that line is, it will be crossed by people who don't know any better and want to ape the success."

"I want to make a movie that has enough impact that it's going to do what it needs to do. But I don't want to make a film that serial killers masturbate to."

"For me, the scariest thing about a serial killer is that there's somebody who lives next door to you, running power tools late into the night, and you don't know he has a refrigerator full of penises."

"As much as people pretend 'I fit in, I understand, I get the rules,' there are always times spent away from that where you go, 'I thought I knew. It seemed so clear to me, and then...' That sense of loneliness, or the sense of not fitting in or being out of depth, is probably the most common denominator."

"Entertainment has to come hand in hand with a little bit of medicine. Some people go to the movies to be reminded that everything's okay. I don't make those kinds of movies. That, to me, is a lie. Everything's not okay."

"You have a responsibility for the way you make the audience feel, and I want them to feel uncomfortable."

"Hollywood is great. I also think it's stupid and small-minded and shortsighted. I'm sure there are people who get into movies so they can get nice tables at restaurants."

"You can either look at your career as the things you're going to leave behind, and they have to be executed flawlessly and you have to know exactly what it is that you're doing. Or you can be realistic about the fact that you're going to learn as you practice what you do."

"I thought it was so strange because I normally make these pitch-black studies of misanthropes or the occasional movie about serial killers, sowhat could the possibly see in this material for me."

"Thank you to the stellar collection of photographers, designers, editors, musicians, costumers, painters, researchers, electricians and craftspeople who without whom I'd just be a bitter man with a lot of opinions"

"He's just scary smart, sort of smarter than everyone else in the room. There's just a handful of these people who know absolutely everything about the process. They could do everyone's job brilliantly. Every aspect is under their control."

"To me it was more about eight years of bad policy before (Obama) got there that let this happen. It was Dracula running the blood bank in terms of oil and leases. I think that has more to do with it than how the president reacted to it."

"I never used to miss the chance to climb up on his knee And listen to the many tales of life upon the sea. We'd go sailing back on Barkentines we'd talk of things he did Tomorrow just a day away, for the Captain and the kid."

"And now I wish I was somewhere other than here, Down in some honky tonk, sippin' on a beer. Yes, I wish I was somewhere other than here. 'Cause that great fillin' station holdup Cost me two good years."

"The Great Filling Station Holdup"

"He went to Paris, looking for answers To questions that bothered him so. He was impressive, young and aggressive, Saving the world on his own. But the warm Summer breezes, The French wines and cheeses Put his ambition at bay. And Summers and Winters Scattered like splinters, And four or five years slipped away."

"Now he lives in the islands, fishes the pilin's And drinks his green label each day, He's writing his memoirs and losing his hearing, But he don't care what most people say. Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion, If he likes you he'll smile then he'll say, Jimmy, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, But I had a good life all the way."

"I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here. Your voice sounds so wonderful, But your face don't look too clear. So, Barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of brew. Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw."

"I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache, the "Boston Blackie" kind. Or a two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket, And an autographed picture of Andy Divine."

"Come Monday, it'll be all right. Come Monday, I'll be holding you tight. I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze And I just want you back by my side."

"Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call. Wanted to sail upon your waters Since I was three feet tall. You've seen it all, you've seen it all.Watched the men who rode you, Switch from sails to steam. And in your belly you hold the treasure That few have ever seen. Most of them dreams, Most of them dreams."

"Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've found My occupational hazard being my occupations just not around. I feel like I've drowned, Gonna head uptown."

"These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, Nothing remains quite the same. Through all of the islands and all of the highlands, If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

"Wasted away again in Margaritaville, Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, But I know it's nobody's fault."

"I blew out my flip flop, Stepped on a pop top, Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home. But there's booze in the blender, And soon it will render That frozen concoction that helps me hang on."

"As the son of a son of a sailor, I went out on the sea for adventure. Expanding the view of the captain and crew Like a man just released from indenture."

"As a dreamer of dreams and a travelin' man, I have chalked up many a mile. Read dozens of books about heroes and crooks, And I've learned much from both of their styles."

"Son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a sailor. Son of a gun; load the last ton, One step ahead of the jailer."

"Cheeseburger is paradise. Heaven on earth with an onion slice. Not too particular, not too precise. I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz Fifty-seven and French fried potatoes. Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. Well, good God Almighty, which way do I steer? For my cheeseburger in paradise."

"We’ve gotta roll with the punches Learn to play all of our hunches. Makin’ the best of whatever comes your way. Forget that blind ambition And learn to trust your intuition. Plowin’ straight ahead come what may."

"Please don't say mañana if you don't mean it I have heard those words for so very long. Don't try to describe the ocean if you've never seen it. Don't ever forget that you just may wind up being wrong."

"Can't you feel 'em circlin' honey? Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around? You got fins to the left, fins to the right, And you're the only bait in town. You got fins to the left, fins to the right, And you're the only girl in town."

"Now, I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go When the volcano blow."

"Boat drinks. Waitress, I need two more boat drinks. Then I'm headin south 'fore my dream shrinks. I gotta go where it's warm."

"I'm growing older but not up. My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck. Let those winds of time blow over my head. I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead."

"I used to rule my world from a pay phone And ships out on the sea. But now times are rough And I got too much stuff; Can't explain the likes of me.But there's this one particular harbour, So far but yet so near. Where I see the days as they fade away, And finally disappear."

"We're gypsies in the palace, he's left us here alone. The order of the Sleepless Knights will now assume the throne. We ain't got no money, we ain't got no right, But we're gypsies in the palace, we got it all tonight."

"I went down to Captain Tony's to get out of the heat When I heard a voice call out to me, "Son, come have a seat." I had to search my memory as I looked into those eyes; Our lives change like the weather but a legend never dies"

"Enduring echoes call out from his past. Time ain't for saving, no time's not for that. Chasing false echoes like a lost legionnaire, He waltzes on memories while he fades like a flare."

"This is such a big deal, and my life is so simple. There are very few things — there's love, and work, and family. And I'd like to thank all my families, all the tribes that I come from and, most importantly, my mother Brandy who taught me that all my finger paintings were Picasso's and that I didn't have to be afraid. And, mostly, that cruelty might be very human, and it might be very cultural, but it's not acceptable."

"I'd like to dedicate this award to all the women before me that never had the chances that I've had, the survivors, the pioneers and the outcasts. My blood, my tradition. And I'd like to thank all the people in this industry who've respected my choices and have not been afraid of the power and dignity that that entitled me to."

"Normal is not something to aspire to, it is something to get away from."

"I cannot believe in God when there is no scientific evidence for the existence of a supreme being and creator."

"Attacking the rich is not envy. It is self defense. The hoarding of wealth is the cause of poverty. The rich aren’t just indifferent to poverty; they create it and maintain it."

"Stare at me in this faceless way, go mad with desire, and rip my clothes off. It's terrific. In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. The fantasy of rape — of which mine is in a kind of prepubescent sub-category — is common enough among women and (in mirror image) among men."

"I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive."

"Insane people are always sure they're just fine. It's only the sane people who are willing to admit they're crazy."

"Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine. I think of it as my own personal bride's disease."

"It struck me that the movies had spent more than half a century saying, "They lived happily ever after" and the following quarter century warning that they'll be lucky to make it through the weekend. Possibly now we are entering a third era, in which the movies will be sounding a note of cautious optimism: You know, it just might work."

"[Hollywood] is a very male business, and it has in vast portions of it — the whole action movie part of it might as well be the United States Army in 1943 in that the ethics of it are, you know, boot camp and action movies and guns and explosions and all the rest of it, and that – so that means that about 50% of the business is not only pretty much closed off to women, but women don’t even wanna be in it!"

"I moved into directing for a couple of reasons. ... Most directors, I discovered, need to be convinced that the screenplay they're going to direct has something to do with them. And this is a tricky thing if you write screenplays where women have parts that are equal to or greater than the male part. And I thought, "Why am I out there looking for directors?" — because you look at a list of directors, it’s all boys. It certainly was when I started as a screenwriter. So I thought, "I’m just gonna become a director and that’ll make it easier.""

"The function of a blog is on some level to start a conversation that you're not involved in any more because you've already had your say. That thing of coming right off the news — did you see what I saw this morning, can you believe it? — has a kind of fun appeal."

"I was so tired of seeing these stupid, cheerful books about ageing. One of them even has this whole thing in it about how you are going to have the greatest sex of your life in your sixties and seventies. Which is just garbage.I thought about it and realised that there was one circumstance that you could have the best sex of your life in your sixties and seventies. That would be if you had never had sex until you were 60 or 70."

"Plastic surgery is a way for people to buy themselves a few years before they have to truly confront what ageing is, which of course is not that your looks are falling apart, but that you are falling apart and some-day you will have fallen apart and ceased to exist."

"Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don’t take it off until you’re thirty-four."

"With any child entering adolescence, one hunts for signs of health, is desperate for the smallest indication that the child's problems will never be important enough for a television movie."

"In order for it to be good, it had to be honest on both sides [to both sexes]. Nora taught me how she sees men and how she sees me and that's what I got from her more than anything, aside from the fact that she's so funny."

"Think what you've just said. All foods should be healthy. We ate meat without any of the things they inject in cows and chickens these days. Bread tasted like bread. Now everything is refined, teens are fat, people have heart attacks at 39. Does that make me nuts? [...] In the thirties I was told I had a tumor down there. I met with a surgeon who was puffy faced and sweating and his hands trembled. He said he wanted to cut through my rectum to get at the growth. I stood and shouted, "Physician, heal thyself!" and I simply fled. A pure bean sprouts diet cured me in months and the tumor shrank and disappeared. I rest my case."

"I'll be eighty this month. Age, if nothing else, entitles me to set the record straight before I dissolve. I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book."

"Actors and actresses are overrated...Once just a few people knew about them. Then films started and we found ourselves canned like sardines and sent all over the world. It gave us an exaggerated idea of our importance. A scientist who saves thousands of lives is much more important. I wouldn't be twenty years old today for anything. Films aren't entertainments any more, they are realism. I come out of these films positively exhausted. I want to throw up."

"If you did not suffer from emotions, from feelings, you could be as powerful as we are."

"You have to be taught to leave us alone. Leave us alone."

"I read a lot of things about myself that aren't true … I've read that I've been with people I've never met. It's nice not to have any attachment, but, likewise, it's nice to have a boyfriend. I'm open to that. But it's hard, when you're working constantly, to spend enough time with someone."

"Well you know, I don’t think I have never really seen a film of this genre, where the female characters' sex appeal sort of came second. I mean of course they’re sexy characters. When you have a sexy secretary, or a girl swinging around by her ankles in a cat suit, you know that’s innately sexy, but the fact is that these characters are intelligent. They’re ambitious. They’re motivated and calculated to some degree."

"I am very independent. I can look after myself but I still need a lot of love and care."

"If you love something, you have to set it free!"

"It's important not to lose who you are in a relationship just because it's nice to cuddle with somebody."

"When we live our lives every day, we're met by opportunities, and most of us don't even recognize them."

"Everything you do is different, and you find different chords in every character that you play that strike true with you."

"A great woman needs a man who will love her and treat her with dignity, but she is so impatient that she gives in to the first man who knocks on her door without caring so much about his attitude towards her."

"I believe that luck is opportunity meeting preparation."

"Just because you're in the spotlight, or just because you're an actor or making films or whatever, doesn't mean that you're not entitled to your own personal privacy. I think no matter what the context, if that is besieged in some way, it feels unjust. It feels wrong."

"It's important to figure out your own life before involving someone else."

"It is important to remind young people that peace is the only victory."

"Powerful women often get concerned with this idea that they’re going to be seen in this unforgiving light. Screw that. It’s so old-fashioned… It’s so uninspired and actually really cowardly."

"I always come back to the fact that my own instinct is better than something I build in my mind."

"Fitness is such an important part of my mental wellness."

"I think Scarlett Johansson is going to become our new alien overlord — of Earth, and life as we know it — based on Her, in which she plays a sentient computer system that ends up expanding to fill the universe, based on Under the Skin in which she plays an extraterrestrial creature attached to some sort of hive-mind, and definitely based on Lucy, Luc Besson's new movie. … She plays the sort of average American dimwitted student in Taiwan who accidentally ingests a new drug that allows her to access a hundred percent of her brain — which turns her into, by the end of the movie — I don't want to give too much away, but basically — she's God, by the end of the movie."

"I don’t know any other movie star going where Johansson has gone lately — certainly among the crop that sells magazine covers — and it’s probably beside the point asking whether she’s tired of the standard roles offered to pillow-lipped young actresses or is actively engaged in exploring the outer limits of power and perception. Of classic stars it was said “They had faces then.” Well, Johansson has a brain, and it appears to be expanding at an alarming rate. Somebody call the professor."

"Scarlett Johansson thought she had the fame game sussed. On the eve of what was to be her breakout role in Lost In Translation, the actress had a solution to control her expected burgeoning stardom. "I'll just walk around with a big pair of sunglasses and continue to eat at McDonald's," she quipped the first time we met. At the time, the then 18-year-old probably didn't fully appreciate what was in store for her. … Robert Redford declared, when he directed her seven years ago in The Horse Whisperer, that she was "13 going on 30". Despite her undoubted intelligence and level-headiness (she worked on the jury at last year's Venice Film Festival), you wouldn't blame her for getting swept away with such exposure. The young actress, though, insists she has a grip on the situation. "I don't know if I've got swept up," she said. "It's so shocking when you hear that Calvin Klein wants you for their new campaign. You're like, 'Who? Me?' I guess you have to decide where you draw the line between you saying, this is fun, pretty and fabulous, and being overexposed.""

"The whole culture of wearing flags on our lapel and saying ‘we’ when referring to the United States and, even the ‘shock and awe’ of the initial stages, it was just too jubilant and just a little uncomfortable. And I remember feeling, when I was anchoring the ‘Today’ show, this inevitable march towards war and kind of feeling like, ‘Will anybody put the brakes on this?’ And is this really being properly challenged by the right people? And I think, at the time, anyone who questioned the administration was considered unpatriotic and it was a very difficult position to be in."

"And have the courage to accept that you’re not perfect, nothing is, and no one is — and that’s OK."

"The road less traveled is sometimes fraught with barricades, bumps, and uncharted terrain. But it is on that road where your character is truly tested"

"The person I enjoyed interviewing the most was Elmo from Sesame Street because he is so unpredictable and he is always eating my hair and my face."

"I will only make pictures that I won't be ashamed to have my children see."

"You know how I'm smart? I got people around me who know more than I do."

"The number one book of the ages was written by a committee, and it was called The Bible."

"Don't make these pictures any better. Just keep them the way they are."

"The best part of being on the stage was that I didn't have to go back to that mean Mr. Mayer after he tried to ruin my career."

"If you're going to be a whore, be a high-priced whore."

"Screen credit is valuable only when it's given you. If you're in a position to give yourself credit, you don't need it."

"Nothing is unfair in politics"

"I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it."

"It's really no different for me 'cause I work for BET so it's like the writers are always on strike."

"You know what so funny, this strike has been going on for a long time. It's lasted longer than the Civil Rights movement, what the hell is this? It's painfully obvious to me white people don't know how to protest. You need like an Al Sharpton, have a dream, go to the mountaintop, do something!"

"They had this movie called Juno about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and it's nominated for an Oscar. That's an unusual experience for me, 'cause when a black girl gets pregnant it ain't no Oscar. It's social work and a box of condoms is what that is."

"I think politics in general are just like a popularity contest but McCain is just... old."

"Debbie Reynolds died a day after her daughter [Carrie Fisher] did! Black Mama's don't die cuz they kids do!They cry and say God don't make no mistakes!"

"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the f**k you were gonna do anyway."

"It's like I've got a shotgun in my mouth with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gun metal."

"I have a really interesting political point of view, and it’s not always something I say too loud at dinner tables here, but you can’t go from a $2,000-a-night suite at La Mirage to a penitentiary and really understand it and come out a liberal. You can’t. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone else, but it was very, very, very educational for me and has informed my proclivities and politics ever since."

"By creating and associating and synergizing with Tony Stark and the Marvel Universe..and being a good company man but also being a little off kilter and being creative and then getting into all these other partnerships, it was a time when it’s like…[how] owners start looking like their pets…occasionally you would pull back from it and go, ‘Let me stop, let me get off the teet of this archetype and let me see where I stand.’ And you can feel really buffeted, you can get really spun out by it."

"It’s hard not to be occasionally overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge we’re facing in this pandemic but nothing has slowed for the strong of spirit during this time. It has been a relentless, pride-swallowing siege of a time, yet productive."

"I have the best fans in the world and I aim to utilise my platform for good — to share things I uncover about the world, climate, technology."

"I had an incredible 10-year run with Marvel which pushed me creatively. I now have tons more ambition to do things I haven’t done before. Evolving is key — the worst thing you can do is get in your own way. Just in the matter of me wanting to be a fit father, husband and citizen, it’d be irresponsible of me to not keep my eye ahead so I can prepare my mind for what’s to come and the transition. As an actor, every time I get a script now, I think about the commitment and time I’d be away from my missus and kiddos."

"I was fortunate in that I was pre-Internet with much of my misbehavior, but I think I always had a bit of a moral psychology and I always wanted to kinda do the right thing, which doesn’t count for much, and then I kinda took it on the chin."

"It’s a very American thing to build up and break down and come back. It is in its own weird way the heroes journey."

"I like the idea of a kind of–a guy who used to be on the world. I just love the hermit will, like, I’ve known folks who have verged on agoraphobia and I think it’s weird–it’s just the funniest thing but I think of everyone can relate to it. Could you imagine at some point you just like I’m never leaving the house again except his is also I’m never interacting with another human again. And then, things to these kids that come along, he has to change it."

"I always had an interest in the story of everything. A little bit of an existential crisis always helps when you’re looking for a sea change. If I know anything, it’s that I never learned anything while I was talking."

"You don’t get an education if you press a space bar, you know? You get an education if you open up the back of the TV. So yes. I don’t care about social media, but seeing how it is a tool, I am finally paying attention to the strategy and the culture of what has been going on. I’m just playing catch up."

"If April showers Should come your way, They bring the flowers That bloom in May."

"The moon belongs to everyone; The best things in life are free. The stars belong to everyone; They gleam there for you and me."

"If you knew Susie like I know Susie, Oh, oh, oh what a girl! There's none so classy as this fair lassie, Oh, oh, Holy Moses, what a chassis!"

"You're sent from heaven And I know your worth. You made a heaven for me here on the earth. When I'm old and grey, dear, Promise you won't stray, dear, For I love you so, Sonny Boy."

"The older we get the less afraid we are."

"I would like to grow less afraid of dying. I am infinitely less afraid today than I was 15 or 25 years ago. I was most afraid of dying when I was 33, because I come from a Catholic family."

"If you are anxious about death, then you don't have a sense of the oneness of things—you feel that after death, you will be no more."

"When you’re addressing power, don’t expect it to crumble willingly. If you’re going to say, "Hey now, look you guys, please look at what you did and look at yourselves and punish yourselves and at least try to square this thing, right?"— well, you’ll make slower progress at that than you would expect. I mean, even the most modest expectations are going to be unfulfilled. Think about it. Today there are still people all over the world who maintain that the Holocaust didn’t happen. There are people in the United States — people among that power echelon we speak of — who maintain that all slaves were happy. There are those power symbols that always say, "Well, it was for the good of the states. It was for the cohesion of the political process." There are myriad justifications for denial. There are also people who say, "Hey, after thirty years of affirmative action, they’ve got it made. Black people — it’s their own fault if they can’t make it today." Yeah, well, of course they say that. And they say it not just about black people. They say it in every country. We did something for you people, whoever "you" are. And we think that’s quite enough now. That’s the gist of it: we’ve done something, and we think it’s enough. It may not be perfect, but it damn sure comes close to being okay. Now let us hear you applaud that for a little while. And thank us. And you can take that hat off your head when you come in here thanking us. That’s the way it is. But let’s not get stuck there. We have miles to go before we sleep. We have lots to do, and some things just aren’t going to get done, you know?"

"A lot of black leaders, along with a lot of sympathetic white people, would say it’s too early in this country for forgiveness. We haven’t dealt with accountability yet, admission of guilt yet. And we certainly don’t have equality yet. But among the things that we must try to get done is the nurturing of a civilized, fair, principled, humane society. Now, if a part of that nurturing — part of the movement toward it, some of the efforts spent in that direction — would bring us to a new understanding, a new acceptance, even some forgiveness, what then? And not just forgiveness from the people who’ve been wronged. Forgiveness works two ways, in most instances. People have to forgive themselves too. The powerful have to forgive themselves for their behavior. That should be a sacred process."

"Compassion for other human beings has to extend to the society that’s been grinding the powerless under its heel. The more civilized the society becomes, the more humane it becomes; the more it can see its own humanity, the more it sees the ways in which its humanity has been behaving inhumanly. This injustice of the world inspires a rage so intense that to express it fully would require homicidal action; it’s self-destructive, destroy-the-world rage. Simply put, I’ve learned that I must find positive outlets for anger or it will destroy me. I have to try to find a way to channel that anger to the positive, and the highest positive is forgiveness."

"The great disease of mankind is ignorance. With knowledge you can grasp tight a belief: that you can be better, that the world can be better. With that, you can claim hope. Hope is the eternal tool in the survival kit for mankind. We hope for a little luck, we hope for a better tomorrow, we hope — although it is an impossible hope — to somehow get out of this world alive. And if we can't and don't, then it is enough to rejoice in our short time here and to remember how much we loved the view."

"The country is going through a crisis and I've been thrown up as this kind of public figure because I'm the top Negro writer in the country-whatever that means. It's like Sidney Poitier being America's only Negro movie star. That's the country's fault, not ours. But I'm still trying to speak just for me, not for twenty million people."

"let's face it, I am a Negro writer. Sidney Poitier, you know, is not simply an actor; he's a Negro actor. He's not simply a movie star; he's the only Negro movie star. And because he is in the position that he is in, he has obligations that Tony Curtis will never have. And it has made Sidney a remarkable man."

"Carr was left with a ring, in the palm of his hand, a small gold circle, leading him nowhere."

"They passed a farmhouse, a simple shack surrounded by animals — a lazy burro, clucking chickens, a litter of pigs. The farmhouse stood alone in the desolate landscape. There was no sign of a living person anywhere. And then it was gone, lost in the swirling dust plume of the car."

"Characterization lies at the heart of the impulse to polarize every issue — what we might call the Crossfire Syndrome. We are all assumed, these days, to reside at one extreme of the opinion spectrum, or another. We are pro-abortion or anti-abortion. We are free traders or protectionist. We are pro-private sector or pro-big government. We are feminists or chauvinists. But in the real world, few of us hold these extreme views. There is instead a spectrum of opinion. The extreme positions of the Crossfire Syndrome require extreme simplification — framing the debate in terms that ignore the real issues."

"This polarization of the issues has contributed greatly to our national paralysis, because it posits false choices which stifle debate essential to change. It is ironic that this should happen in a time of great social upheaval, when our society needs more than ever to be able to experiment with different viewpoints. But in the media world, a previously established idea, like a previously elected politician, enjoys a tremendous advantage over any challenger. Hence the familiar ideas continue to be repeated, long past their demonstrable validity."

"Let's be clear: all professions look bad in the movies. And there's a good reason for this. Movies don't portray career paths, they conscript interesting lifestyles to serve a plot. So lawyers are all unscrupulous and doctors are all uncaring. Psychiatrists are all crazy, and politicians are all corrupt. All cops are psychopaths, and all businessmen are crooks. Even moviemakers come off badly: directors are megalomaniacs, actors are spoiled brats. Since all occupations are portrayed negatively, why expect scientists to be treated differently?"

"Science is the most exciting and sustained enterprise of discovery in the history of our species. It is the great adventure of our time. We live today in an era of discovery that far outshadows the discoveries of the New World five hundred years ago."

"Media carries with it a credibility that is totally undeserved. You have all experienced this. [...] Briefly stated, the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect is as follows. You open the newspaper to an article on some subject you know well. [...] You read the article and see the journalist has absolutely no understanding of either the facts or the issues. [...] You read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page to national or international affairs, and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read. You turn the page, and forget what you know. In ordinary life, if somebody consistently exaggerates or lies to you, you soon discount everything they say. [...] But when it comes to the media, we believe against evidence that it is probably worth our time to read other parts of the paper. [...] The only possible explanation for our behavior is amnesia."

"I want to mention in passing that punditry has undergone a subtle change over the years. In the old days, commentators such as Eric Sevareid spent most of their time putting events in a context, giving a point of view about what had already happened. Telling what they thought was important or irrelevant in the events that had already taken place. This is of course a legitimate function of expertise in every area of human knowledge. But over the years the punditic thrust has shifted away from discussing what has happened, to discussing what may happen. And here the pundits have no benefit of expertise at all. Worse, they may, like the Sunday politicians, attempt to advance one or another agenda by predicting its imminent arrival or demise. This is politicking, not predicting."

"Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled. Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. Let's be clear: the work of science has nothing whatever to do with consensus. Consensus is the business of politics. Science, on the contrary, requires only one investigator who happens to be right, which means that he or she has results that are verifiable by reference to the real world. In science consensus is irrelevant. What is relevant is reproducible results. The greatest scientists in history are great precisely because they broke with the consensus. There is no such thing as consensus science. If it's consensus, it isn't science. If it's science, it isn't consensus. Period."

"Science is nothing more than a method of inquiry. The method says an assertion is valid — and merits universal acceptance — only if it can be independently verified. The impersonal rigor of the method means it is utterly apolitical. A truth in science is verifiable whether you are black or white, male or female, old or young. It's verifiable whether you like the results of a study, or you don't."

"I want to state emphatically that nothing in my remarks should be taken to imply that we can ignore our environment, or that we should not take climate change seriously. On the contrary, we must dramatically improve our record on environmental management. That is why a focused effort on climate science, aimed at securing sound, independently verified answers to policy questions, is so important now."

"Whatever I am doing, I wish I were doing one of the other things."

"The cabbie laughed. "All right, mister. A guy can tell when he's being kidded." Sometimes," Jencks said, "but only sometimes."

"Steve Jencks: The computer doesn't have any ideas. It only evaluates mine..."

"You could not predict what would happen in a single instance, a single throw of the dice, a single pitch in the seventh inning, a single toss of the coin. But you could predict three out of five, four out of ten, seven out of sixteen, and to that extent chance governed everyone, all the time. Just as surely as two equals two."

"Egypt imbued the view with a heavy sense of mystery and foreboding."

"You want to know about the last tomb? [Conway] asked Pierce. "I'll tell you." He tapped the white cranium. "That's the last tomb, man. Right there, and you're buried there all your life. You can't escape it."

""I would give anything to know what you thought at the moment you died," Pierce said. His voice echoed in the tomb. The flame went out."

"In a sense that is a part of the training: surgeons are lonely men."

"I tried to tell which was Randall, but I could not; in their gowns and masks, they all looked the same, impersonal, interchangeable. That was not true of course. One of those four men had responsibility for everything, for the contact of all sixteen workers present. And responsibility for the seventeenth person in that room, the man whose heart was stopped."

"Being on the "Hold" is the technological equivalent of purgatory."

"Sanderson laughed. "There's no problem," he said. "Yet. I've got a pretty tough old neck. I can keep it stuck out a while longer.""

"I smiled, remembering Art's line about doctors being illpolitical. He meant it the way you used words like illiterate. Art always said doctors not only held no political views, but also were incapable of them. "It's like the military," he had once said. "Political views are considered unprofessional.""

"Leland Weston: "Never take a position unless you are certain it can be defended any onslaught. That may sound like good advice to a general, but then, a courtroom is nothing more then a very civilized war.""

"As I went down to my car, [Peter Randall] said, "If you don't want to get involved I'll understand" I looked back at him. "You know damn well I'd have no choice." "I didn't," he said. "But I was hoping.""

"What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There's no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told-and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion. Next question."

""In the conservative region far from the chaotic edge, individual elements coalesce slowly, showing no clear pattern." - Ian Malcolm"

"Standing next to Arby, Kelly always felt awkward and gawky. Kelly had to wear her sister's old clothes, which her mother had bought from Kmart about a million years ago. She even had to wear Emily's old Reeboks, which were so scuffed and dirty that they never came clean, even after Kelly ran them through the washing machine. Kelly washed and ironed all her own clothes; her mother never had time. Her mother was never even home, most of the time. Kelly looked enviously at Arby's neatly pressed khakis, his polished penny loafers, and sighed. Still, even though she was jealous, Arby was her only real friend - the only person who thought it was okay that she was smart. Kelly worried that he'd be skipped to ninth grade, and she wouldn't see him any more."

"’Because it means the end of innovation,’ Malcolm said. ‘This idea that the whole world is wired together is mass death. Every biologist knows that small groups in isolation evolve fastest. You put a thousand birds on an ocean island and they’ll evolve very fast. You put ten thousand on a big continent, and their evolution slows down. Now, for our own species, evolution occurs mostly through our behavior. We innovate new behavior to adapt. And everybody on earth knows that innovation only occurs in small groups. Put three people on a committee and they may get something done. Ten people, and it get harder. Thirty people, and nothing happens. Thirty million, it becomes impossible. That’s the effect of mass media—it keeps anything from happening. Mass media swamps diversity. It makes every place the same… Regional differences vanish. All differences vanish. In a mass-media world, there’s less of everything except the top ten books, records, movies, ideas. People worry about losing species diversity in the rain forest. But what about intellectual diversity—our most necessary resource. That’s disappearing faster than trees."

"A hundred years from now, people will look back on us and laugh. They'll say, 'You know what people used to believe? They believed in photons and electrons. Can you imagine anything so silly?' They'll have a good laugh, because by then there will be newer and better fantasies. And meanwhile, you feel the way the boat moves? That's the sea. That's real. You smell the salt in the air? You feel the sunlight on your skin? That's all real. You see all of us together? That's real. Life is wonderful. It's a gift to be alive, to see the sun and breathe the air. And there isn't really anything else."

"If you were to say to a physicist in 1899 that in 1999, a hundred years later, moving images would be transmitted into homes all over the world from satellites in the sky; that bombs of unimaginable power would threaten the species; that antibiotics would abolish infectious disease but that disease would fight back; that women would have the vote, and pills to control reproduction; that millions of people would take to the air every hour in aircraft capable of taking off and landing without human touch; that you could cross the Atlantic at two thousand miles an hour; that humankind would travel to the moon, and then lose interest; that microscopes would be able to see individual atoms; that people would carry telephones weighing a few ounces, and speak anywhere in the world without wires; or that most of these miracles depended on devices the size of a postage stamp, which utilized a new theory called quantum mechanics—if you said all this, the physicist would almost certainly pronounce you mad."

"He had a term for people like this: temporal provincials—people who were ignorant of the past, and proud of it. Temporal provincials were convinced that the present was the only time that mattered, and that anything that had occurred earlier could be safely ignored."

"Professor Johnston often said that if you didn’t know history, you didn’t know anything. You were a leaf that didn’t know it was part of a tree."

"Let’s not escape into mathematics. Let’s stay with reality."

"“The so-called time paradoxes,” Doniger said, “do not really involve time. They involve ideas about history that are seductive but wrong. Seductive, because they flatter you into thinking you can have an impact on the course of events. And wrong, because of course, you can’t.”"

"“But in theory…” “When we are dealing with history, theories are worthless,” Doniger said with a contemptuous wave. “A theory is only valuable if it has the ability to predict future outcomes. But history is the record of human action—and no theory can predict human action.”"

"He had only imagined a slower fighting style from an unconscious assumption that man in the past were weaker or slower or less imaginative than he was, as a modern man. Marek knew this assumption of superiority was a difficulty faced by every historian. He just hadn’t thought he was guilty of it. But clearly, he was."

"In the comfort of the library, he had read accounts of past violent acts, murder and slaughter. He had read descriptions of streets slippery with blood, soldiers soaked in red from head to foot, women and children eviscerated despite their piteous pleas. But somehow Chris had always assumed these stories were exaggerated, overstated. Within the university, it was the fashion to interpret documents ironically, to talk about the naïveté of narrative, the context of text, the privileging of power…. Such theoretical posturing turned history into a clever intellectual game. Chris was good at the game, but playing it, he had somehow lost track of a more straightforward reality—that the old texts recounted horrific stories and violent episodes that were all too often true. He had lost track of the fact that he was reading history."

"What is the dominant motive experience at the end of the twentieth century? How do people see things, and how do they expect to see things? The answer is simple. In every field, from business to politics to marketing to education, the dominant mode has become entertainment."

"Today, everybody expects to be entertained, and they expect to be entertained all the time. Business meetings must be snappy, with bullet lists and animated graphics, so executives aren’t bored. Malls and stores must be engaging, so they amuse as well as sell us. Politicians must have pleasing video personalities and tell us only what we want to hear. Schools must be careful not to bore young minds that expect the speed and complexity of television. Students must be amused—everyone must be amused, or they will switch: switch brands, switch channels, switch parties, switch loyalties. This is the intellectual reality of western society at the end of the century."

"In other centuries, human beings wanted to be saved, or improved, or freed, or educated. But in our century, they want to be entertained. The great fear is not of disease or death, but of boredom. A sense of time on our hands, a sense of nothing to do. A sense that we are not amused."

"But where will this mania for entertainment end? What will people do when they get tired of television? When they get tired of movies? We already know the answer—they go into participatory activities: sports, theme parks, amusement rides, roller coasters. Structured fun, planned thrills. And what will they do when they tire of theme parks and planned thrills? Sooner or later, the artifice becomes too noticeable. They begin to realize that an amusement park is really a kind of jail, in which you pay to be an inmate."

"This artifice will drive them to seek authenticity. Authenticity will be the buzzword of the twenty-first century. And what is authentic? Anything that is not devised and structured to make a profit. Anything that is not controlled by corporations. Anything that exists for its own sake and assumes its own shape. But of course, nothing in the modern world is allowed to assume its own shape. The modern world is the corporate equivalent of a formal garden, where everything is planted and arranged for effect. Where nothing is untouched, where nothing is authentic."

"The purpose of history is to explain the present—to say why the world around us is the way it is. History tells us what is important in our world, and how it came to be. It tells us why the things we value are the things we should value. And it tells us what is to be ignored, or discarded. That is true power—profound power. The power to define a whole society."

"Things do not turn out the way you think they will."

"They didn't understand what they were doing. I'm afraid that will be on the tombstone of the human race. I hope it's not. We might get lucky."

"Julia's original email says, "We have nothing to lose." But in the end they lost everything — their company, their lives, everything. And the ironic thing is, the procedure worked. The swarm actually solved the problem they had set for it."

"I want to pause here and talk about this notion of consensus, and the rise of what has been called consensus science. I regard consensus science as an extremely pernicious development that ought to be stopped cold in its tracks. Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled."

"Let’s be clear: the work of science has nothing whatever to do with consensus. Consensus is the business of politics. Science, on the contrary, requires only one investigator who happens to be right, which means that he or she has results that are verifiable by reference to the real world. In science consensus is irrelevant. What is relevant is reproducible results. The greatest scientists in history are great precisely because they broke with the consensus."

"The examples can be multiplied endlessly. Jenner and smallpox, Pasteur and germ theory. Saccharine, margarine, repressed memory, fiber and colon cancer, hormone replacement therapy. The list of consensus errors goes on and on."

"Finally, I would remind you to notice where the claim of consensus is invoked. Consensus is invoked only in situations where the science is not solid enough. Nobody says the consensus of scientists agrees that E=mc2. Nobody says the consensus is that the sun is 93 million miles away. It would never occur to anyone to speak that way."

"Once you abandon strict adherence to what science tells us, once you start arranging the truth in a press conference, then anything is possible. In one context, maybe you will get some mobilization against nuclear war. But in another context, you get Lysenkoism. In another, you get Nazi euthanasia. The danger is always there, if you subvert science to political ends."

"As the twentieth century drew to a close, the connection between hard scientific fact and public policy became increasingly elastic. In part this was possible because of the complacency of the scientific profession; in part because of the lack of good science education among the public; in part, because of the rise of specialized advocacy groups which have been enormously effective in getting publicity and shaping policy; and in great part because of the decline of the media as an independent assessor of fact."

"To an outsider, the most significant innovation in the global warming controversy is the overt reliance that is being placed on models. Back in the days of nuclear winter, computer models were invoked to add weight to a conclusion: “These results are derived with the help of a computer model.” But now, large-scale computer models are seen as generating data in themselves. No longer are models judged by how well they reproduce data from the real world—increasingly, models provide the data. As if they were themselves a reality. And indeed they are, when we are projecting forward."

"This fascination with computer models is something I understand very well. Richard Feynmann called it a disease. I fear he is right."

"What is clear, however, is that on this issue [global warming], science and policy have become inextricably mixed to the point where it will be difficult, if not impossible, to separate them out."

"The fact is that the present structure of science is entrepreneurial, with individual investigative teams vying for funding from organizations that all too often have a clear stake in the outcome of the research—or appear to, which may be just as bad. This is not healthy for science."

"In recent years, much has been said about the post-modernist claims about science to the effect that science is just another form of raw power, tricked out in special claims for truth-seeking and objectivity that really have no basis in fact. Science, we are told, is no better than any other undertaking. These ideas anger many scientists, and they anger me. But recent events have made me wonder if they are correct."

"We must daily decide whether the threats we face are real, whether the solutions we are offered will do any good, whether the problems we're told exist are in fact real problems, or non-problems. Every one of us has a sense of the world, and we all know that this sense is in part given to us by what other people and society tell us; in part generated by our emotional state, which we project outward; and in part by our genuine perceptions of reality. In short, our struggle to determine what is true is the struggle to decide which of our perceptions are genuine, and which are false because they are handed down, or sold to us, or generated by our own hopes and fears."

"In order not to be misunderstood, I want it perfectly clear that I believe it is incumbent on us to conduct our lives in a way that takes into account all the consequences of our actions, including the consequences to other people, and the consequences to the environment."

"I studied anthropology in college, and one of the things I learned was that certain human social structures always reappear. They can't be eliminated from society. One of those structures is religion. Today it is said we live in a secular society in which many people — the best people, the most enlightened people — do not believe in any religion. But I think that you cannot eliminate religion from the psyche of mankind. If you suppress it in one form, it merely re-emerges in another form. You can not believe in God, but you still have to believe in something that gives meaning to your life, and shapes your sense of the world. Such a belief is religious."

"Today, one of the most powerful religions in the Western World is environmentalism. Environmentalism seems to be the religion of choice for urban atheists."

"Increasingly it seems facts aren't necessary, because the tenets of environmentalism are all about belief. It's about whether you are going to be a sinner, or saved. Whether you are going to be one of the people on the side of salvation, or on the side of doom. Whether you are going to be one of us, or one of them."

"There is no Eden. There never was. What was that Eden of the wonderful mythic past? Is it the time when infant mortality was 80%, when four children in five died of disease before the age of five? When one woman in six died in childbirth? When the average lifespan was 40, as it was in America a century ago? When plagues swept across the planet, killing millions in a stroke. Was it when millions starved to death? Is that when it was Eden?"

"The romantic view of the natural world as a blissful Eden is only held by people who have no actual experience of nature. People who live in nature are not romantic about it at all. They may hold spiritual beliefs about the world around them, they may have a sense of the unity of nature or the aliveness of all things, but they still kill the animals and uproot the plants in order to eat, to live. If they don't, they will die."

"The truth is, almost nobody wants to experience real nature. What people want is to spend a week or two in a cabin in the woods, with screens on the windows. They want a simplified life for a while, without all their stuff. Or a nice river rafting trip for a few days, with somebody else doing the cooking. Nobody wants to go back to nature in any real way, and nobody does. It's all talk — and as the years go on, and the world population grows increasingly urban, it's uninformed talk. Farmers know what they're talking about. City people don't. It's all fantasy."

"The notion that the natural world obeys its own rules and doesn't give a damn about your expectations comes as a massive shock... it will demand that you adapt to it — and if you don't, you die. It is a harsh, powerful, and unforgiving world, that most urban westerners have never experienced."

"I can tell you that second hand smoke is not a health hazard to anyone and never was, and the EPA has always known it."

"Most of us have had some experience interacting with religious fundamentalists, and we understand that one of the problems with fundamentalists is that they have no perspective on themselves. They never recognize that their way of thinking is just one of many other possible ways of thinking, which may be equally useful or good. On the contrary, they believe their way is the right way, everyone else is wrong; they are in the business of salvation, and they want to help you to see things the right way. They want to help you be saved. They are totally rigid and totally uninterested in opposing points of view. In our modern complex world, fundamentalism is dangerous because of its rigidity and its imperviousness to other ideas."

"We need to get environmentalism out of the sphere of religion. We need to stop the mythic fantasies, and we need to stop the doomsday predictions. We need to start doing hard science instead."

"Environmentalism needs to be absolutely based in objective and verifiable science, it needs to be rational, and it needs to be flexible. And it needs to be apolitical. To mix environmental concerns with the frantic fantasies that people have about one political party or another is to miss the cold truth — that there is very little difference between the parties, except a difference in pandering rhetoric. The effort to promote effective legislation for the environment is not helped by thinking that the Democrats will save us and the Republicans won't. Political history is more complicated than that."

"The second reason to abandon environmental religion is more pressing. Religions think they know it all, but the unhappy truth of the environment is that we are dealing with incredibly complex, evolving systems, and we usually are not certain how best to proceed. Those who are certain are demonstrating their personality type, or their belief system, not the state of their knowledge."

"In the end, science offers us the only way out of politics. And if we allow science to become politicized, then we are lost. We will enter the Internet version of the dark ages, an era of shifting fears and wild prejudices, transmitted to people who don't know any better."

"Mere talk makes drama and spectacle unlikely — unless the talk becomes heated and excessive. So it becomes excessive. Not every show features the Crossfire-style food-fight, but it is a tendency on all shows."

"Endless presentation of conflict may interfere with genuine issue resolution. There is evidence that the television food-fights not only don't represent the views of most people — who are not so polarized — but may tend to make resolution of actual disputes more difficult in the real world. At the very least, they obscure the recognition that we resolve disputes every day."

"I often think people are nervous, jittery in this media climate of what if, what if, maybe, perhaps, could be — when there is usually no sensible reason to feel nervous. Like a bearded nut in robes on the sidewalk proclaiming the end of the world is near, the media is just doing what makes it feel good, not reporting hard facts. We need to start seeing the media as a bearded nut on the sidewalk, shouting out false fears. Its not sensible to listen to it."

"Every one of us has a sense of the world, and we all know that this sense is in part given to us by what other people and society tell us; in part generated by our emotional state, which we project outward; and in part by our genuine perceptions of reality. In short, our struggle to determine what is true is the struggle to decide which of our perceptions is genuine, and which are false because they are handed down, or sold to us, or generated by our own hopes and fears."

"I want to make it perfectly clear that I believe it is incumbent on us to conduct our lives in a way that takes into account all the consequences of our actions, including the consequences to other people, and the consequences to the environment. I believe it is essential to act in ways that are sympathetic to the environment, now and in the future. I believe that the world has genuine problems and I believe they must be addressed effectively. But I also think that deciding what constitutes responsible action is immensely difficult, and I believe the consequences of our actions are often difficult to know in advance."

"I think that you cannot eliminate religion from the psyche of mankind. If you suppress it in one form, it merely emerges in another form. Even if you don't believe in God, you still have to believe in something that gives meaning to your life, and shapes your sense of the world. Such a belief is religious."

"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world."

"Some people have joked that at about the same time, the White House brought in a science fiction writer for advice on global warming [a reference to Bush inviting sci-fi author and global warming denier Michael Crichton to the White House in 2005]. But this is not a joking matter. We need more scientific data, not less."

"Here's what I know. I could not be standing here without that undying love that was just sung about by, not Bruce [Springsteen], but Neil Young. And I have that in a lover that is so close to fine, we should all be able to experience such heaven right here on earth. I know also that, I should not be doing this, I should not be here, but I am because of the union of such filmmakers as Ed Saxon, Ron Nyswaner, Kristi Zea, Tak Fujimoto, Jonathan Demme -- who seems to have these [referring to the Oscar] attached to his limbs for every actor that works with him of late. And a cast that includes Antonio Banderas, who, second to my lover, is the only person I would trade for. And a cast that includes many other people, but the actor who really put his film image at risk, and shone because of his integrity, Mr. Denzel Washington, who I really must share this with."

"I would not be standing here if it weren't for two very important men in my life, so... two that I haven't spoken with in awhile, but I had the pleasure of just the other evening. Mr. Rawley Farnsworth, who was my high school drama teacher, who taught me to act well the part, there all the glory lies. And one of my classmates under Mr. Farnsworth, Mr. John Gilkerson. I mention their names because they are two of the finest gay Americans, two wonderful men that I had the good fortune to be associated with, to fall under their inspiration at such a young age. I wish my babies could have the same sort of teacher, the same sort of friends."

"And there lies my dilemma here tonight. I know that my work in this case is magnified by the fact that the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels. We know their names. They number a thousand for each one of the red ribbons that we wear here tonight. They finally rest in the warm embrace of the gracious creator of us all. A healing embrace that cools their fevers, that clears their skin, and allows their eyes to see the simple, self-evident, common sense truth that is made manifest by the benevolent creator of us all and was written down on paper by wise men, tolerant men, in the city of Philadelphia two hundred years ago. God bless you all. God have mercy on us all. And God bless America."

"Thank you. I'm standing here in lieu of my fellow nominees who are just as deserving, if not more so of this moment."

"I'm standing here because of an army of people who over the course of a back-breaking schedule that was set by Bob Zemeckis worked much harder than I did and who had much more at risk if our efforts were not successful."

"I'm empowered to stand here thanks to the ensemble of actors, men and women, who I shared the screen with and who in ways they will never understand made me a better actor."

"And I am standing here because the woman I share my life with has taught me and demonstrates for me every day just what love is. [Voice breaks as wife Rita Wilson tearfully mouths 'I love you'.]"

"Man, I feel as though I'm standing on magic legs in a special effects process shot that is too unbelievable to imagine and far too costly to make a reality."

"But here is my mark, and there is where I'm supposed to look, and believe me, the power and the pleasure and the emotion of this moment is as constant as the speed of light. It will never be diminished, nor will my appreciation."

"And the meaning between two simple words that I can only offer you here: Thank you, God bless you in this room and God bless you all around the world."

"We live in a society where there is no law in making money in the promulgation of ignorance or, in some cases, stupidity. There are a lot of things you can say never happened. You can go as relatively quasi-harmless as saying no one went to the moon. But you also can say that the Holocaust never happened."

"Every day, every year, and for every graduating class, there is a choice to be made, the same option for all grown-ups to make: to be one of three types of Americans — those who embrace liberty for all, those who won’t, or those who are indifferent — and only the first do the work of creating a more perfect union."

"In the never-ending battle you have all officially joined as of today, the difference is in how truly you believe, in how vociferously you promote, in how tightly you hold onto the truth that is self-evident: that of course we are all created equally yet differently, and of course we are all in this together."

"We are all in a cage match, mixed martial arts battle royale with agents of intolerance and braying incompetence, the malevolent equals to Imperial stormtroopers, Lex Luther, and Loki. And we could use a superhero right now."

"The work that is called for is the construction of our ‘more perfect union. That job will never, ever be completed, one that requires rigorous attention and unfading wherewithal and all hands. The work is the keeping of the promises of our promised land, the practice of decency, the protection of freedom, and the promotion of liberty for all, with no exceptions. That takes a lot of work done on multiple job sites every single day, and you can call each of them a battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way."

"Another day on the set we were brought into the room where they replayed the dailies. While me and Bill were watching the monitor, Tom Hanks come up from behind and said, "Bill, Babe, don't turn around yet." When we did, he was dressed in an English officer's uniform. He said, "They gave me a cameo role. I'm going to be an English officer." I said, "Good, Tom, you could use the work." I told Tom Hanks he could use the work! I forgot he was Tom Hanks. He's such a regular guy. I'll tell you, I'd like to put a medal on him. Couldn't do enough for us. He kept telling people, "Take care of Bill and Babe. Take care of my boys from South Philly." Tom Hanks is top shelf."

"Y'all can relax about that Osama bin Laden shit. I'm a handle the shit myself. Because I can't understand how they can't find the motherfucker, six foot six with a nappy beard and a towel on his head, but they can find my cousin four foot eleven in Compton. You know what I mean? The mother fucker worth half a billion dollars. Look for the cave with the satellite hook up. If a Rolls Royce is parked in front of the cave, nigga probably in there. If you walk in the cave and he got velvet paintings of Saddam Hussein, I think the nigga in there. Who the fuck they got hunting this mother fucka, Gomer Pyle?"

"Nigga, give me 5 Bloods, 5 Crips, 4 Mexicans and 3 rednecks, this shit would have been over! Niggas and Mexicans, we would've went over there and stole all the tracks off their tanks. Nigga, them tanks be on bricks. Niggas come back home, "Nigga, who want some tank tracks?" And you know rednecks love hunting. Nigga, a redneck, you give that mother fucka a 30.06 with a scope on it, he can hit a fly off a deer's ear from 500 yards. They don't fuck around. And they all got a hunting dog named Petey, you know them pointer motherfuckers. Nigga, a redneck be like, [Redneck accent] "He's got them goddamn clothes with that boy's scent on it. Take a whiff of that, Petey! Smell it good, boy! We're goin' in!" Nigga, you drop their ass off in Afghanistan, Petey gonna point at the right cave. [Mimicking Petey] "Mofucker in there. Motherfucker in there!! I smell him!!""

"We live in a three dimensional plane. Life is on the third planet from the sun not the second. Ain't nobody lying on a piece of paper looking at each other"

"There's only three major elements. Air, land, which is your flesh and water, which is your blood. You're walking on a third of yourself. She's called Mother Earth. She gave birth to your ass. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, your maggot food ass going right back to her!"

"You know how we built the pyramids? You gotta ask yourself a question always flip the script. What if up was down and down was up? What if you looked down into space standing up on Earth? This is how we built the pyramids."

"I keep hearing I'm a crazy party guy … I'm not. I'm boring... At least by party standards."

"I've always paid attention to religion … because I grew up in a religious background, but I've never felt a part of any of them. I think there's something to be drawn from most of them — other than goat sacrificing."

"You shouldn't speak until you know what you're talking about. That's why I get uncomfortable with interviews. Reporters ask me what I feel China should do about Tibet. Who cares what I think China should do? I'm a fucking actor! They hand me a script. I act. I'm here for entertainment. Basically, when you whittle everything away, I'm a grown man who puts on makeup."

"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed."

"Fame is a bitch, man."

"Music is like basil. Put it on. Don't think twice."

"The Cruise is one of my favorite films and very close to the spirit of This American Life: It’s funny and moving and surprising and just beautiful to look at–black and white, shot on the cheap with all natural light on digital video, incredibly."

"There are stories that change the way I see stuff, like the Harper High School story. I didn't really understand what it was like to live in a neighborhood like that, or be a kid like that. One of the things we learned is that every kid in the school is in a gang. The nerd kids are in a gang. The drama kids are in a gang. Before I read that series, and this is kind of ugly to say, but I would think, ‘Well, if they got shot they're a gang kid ... that's a bad kid.’ I don't feel that any more at all. Those of us who don't live in neighborhoods like that, we're so dumb."

"I don't tweet because I don't need another creative venue. I don't need another form for self-expression. I don't need another way to get my thoughts out to people. I have one."

"'I don’t know, it seems weird to be making this much money and asking people to donate money,' It seemed unseemly. So I said, 'I think that I should just make less.’ I just thought it ... seemed fair. It seemed like I should make what you make if you're like, a high school principal or something. Not even the principal, but the assistant principal."

"Why is my job like the second job that somebody who's a genius at something else can do, and actually still be really good at? It's not fair!"

"The honest answer to your question is that I think Anaheed and I could do this whole thing better, and that we're a terrible role model for anyone. We muddle our way through, for sure. And we've been together for 20 years—but it's hard on us. I feel like I know other people who manage it way, way better."

"The thing that happens to me is that if it’s going well, and the person is really talking from the heart about a thing that means something to them. And I’m talking back to them, and we’re understanding each other, and like I start to feel really close to them. I know that as like a professional journalist, it’s not like the right thing to say, to say this, but I start to really love them. Like it has the intimacy of any like actual intimate conversation with somebody who I feel super close to."

"I'm just a very mindful, worried person in a lot of ways. And I remember the first time I took ecstasy, all that goes away. And I remember having the thought, "Do other people live this way? Is this what it's like for other people? Are there people who have this experience of feeling no anxiety, and just walking up to people and assuming that people might like them?"

"Nobody hearing my words right now is thinking, Oh man, remember that show, back when it used to be good?"

"Progress' constant companion is nostalgia for the way things used to be."

"Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap."

"What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."

"Before Google Docs existed, those rare times I met software engineers, I’d ask them to please create software so two people in different locations could edit a document together online. God bless Google Docs."

"I called Ira up and I said, 'You're gonna be a cult hero eventually'—and I think it's coming true. The other thing I said to him was, 'It's gonna devour you.'"

"Ira is a big fag. He's just not a homosexual."

"Souljah was not born to make white people feel comfortable. I am African first! I am black first! I want what's good for me and my people first."

"If there are [any good white people], I haven't met them. Where are they?"

"My definition of "good" is that you understand that this is a question of power, that you be willing to give up some power, that you be willing to give up some resources, that you be willing to pay black people reparations for our years and years of service in this country, that you be willing to go home and tell your white mother and father about white racism and how it affects and kills black people in our communities. That's my definition of good white people and I haven't met any like that."

"[David Mills:] Even the people themselves who were perpetrating that violence, did they think that was wise? Was that a wise reasoned action? Sister Souljah: Yeah, it was wise. I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people? In other words, white people, this government and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, are above and beyond dying, when they would kill their own kind?"

"Bill Clinton is like a lot of white politicians. They eat soul food, they party with black women, they play the saxophone, but when it comes to domestic and foreign policy, they make the same decisions that are destructive to African people in this country and throughout the world."

"Racism is a system of power and in the absence of power you cannot be considered a racist."

"Her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with a kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight.… If you took the words "white" and "black," and you reversed them, you might think David Duke was giving that speech."

"There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently."

"All the Sixties were complicated, you know. On the one hand it was funny too, you know; on the other hand it was cruel, you know. The communists are so cruel, because they impose one taste on everybody, on everything, and who doesn't comply with their teachings and with their ideology, is very soon labeled pervert, you know, or whatever they want you call it, or counterrevolutionary or whatever. And then the censorship itself, that's not the worst evil. The worst evil is — and that's the product of censorship — is the self-censorship, because that twists spines, that destroys my character because I have to think something else and say something else, I have to always control myself. I am stopping to being honest, I am becoming hypocrite — and that's what they wanted, they wanted everybody to feel guilty, they were, you know... And also they were absolutely brilliant in one way, you know: they knew how effective is not to punish somebody who is guilty; what Communist Party members could afford to do was mind-boggling: they could do practically anything they wanted — steal, you know, lie, whatever. What was important — that they punished if you're innocent, because that puts everybody, you know, puts fear in everybody."

"First of all, whoever didn't want to be a member of this association or the other association, was branded, you know, like a dangerous individualist, you know, infected by the Western decadence, you know. So everybody joined. And everything is controlled and everybody is a member of some committee, because then their watchdogs placed in the committees can control everything, what this person says or how this person think, you know. It was... [Sighs] it was just ridiculous."

"You know, you have to really decide where you want to live: if you want to live in the jungle or in the zoo. Because if you want the beauty, if you want freedom, the jungle is... that's your world. But you're in danger there, you have to live with snakes, sharks, tigers, skunks, you know, mosquitoes, es. You want to be safe, you have to live in the zoo. You are protected. You know, if you are a lamb, the tiger will not attack you. You know, you'll get a little bit something to eat every day; that's fine. You have to work hard, but you live behind the bars, and what's wonderful — you live there behind the bars and you dream about the beauty of the jungle. Now what happened was that the bars opened, and everybody runs after the dream. And suddenly, well, yeah, it's beautiful — yes, I am free to go wherever I want, do whatever I want, but where do I want to go? Oh, my God, and here is a tiger and here's a snake. Oh, oh, and people have a tendency to, you know, back. And you will be surprised how many people prefer to live in the zoo; they are not ready to pay for the freedom; they think that freedom should be, you know, for free, even for granted, which never is, never is."

"I tell you, in my opinion, the cornerstone of democracy is free press — that's the cornerstone. I'm convinced if the press... it was not possible, of course, but if the free press existed through this century, there wouldn't be Hitler there wouldn't Stalin, there wouldn't be all this incredible price people have to pay for their freedom, you know, because that's what they're always first after… newspapers, radio, television, everything like that."

"All those rumors about her being underweight are trash. She's gorgeous."

"There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it."

"People like to define you through what they’ve seen you do … There are aspects of my personality, I guess, that come through on-screen, but I don’t sit around thinking, I’ve been a bumbling suitor all my life."

"When I didn’t have a family, I was much more of a workaholic … I still like to work, but I also want to be home with them. As you get older, you realize you need balance. If it’s not fun, what’s the point?"

"We covered "Hey Jude." My father panicked, misunderstanding the lyrics and thinking our lead singer was belting out "Hey, Jew" to a roomful of Holocaust survivors."

"I asked Michael (Bay) why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers. He told me to shut the fuck up, so that was the end of that talk. He said, 'You know, Ben, just shut up, okay? You know, this is a real plan.' I was like, 'You mean it's a real plan at NASA to train oil drillers?' And he was, 'Just shut your mouth.' See, here's where we demonstrate that, because Bruce (Willis) is going to tell the guys they did a bad job of building the drill tank. See, he's a salt-of-the-earth guy, and the NASA nerd-o-nauts don't understand his salt-of-the-earth way, his rough-and-tumble ways. Like somehow they can build rocket ships, but they don't understand what makes a good tranny. Like eight whole months, as if that's not long enough to learn to drill a hole. But in a week, we're gonna learn how to be astronauts. I mean, this a little bit of a stretch, let's face it. 'They don't know jack about drilling'? How hard can it be? Aim the drill at the ground and turn it on."

"I'm always described as "cocksure" or "with a swagger," and that bears no resemblance to who I feel like inside. I feel plagued by insecurity."

"This is a second act for me, and you give me that. I wanna thank you for this. I'm so grateful and proud. I just wanna to dedicated this (the award) to anyone else out there, who is trying to get a second act, because you can do. (Speech after receiving the British Academy Film Awards for the Best Director)"

"We've killed more Muslims than they've killed us by an awful lot, and we've invaded more Islamic nations. But we're exempted from these things?"

"In life, there are times to be quiet, and there are times to shut the fuck up. This is one of those times."

"Let me tell you the story of right hand-left hand. It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: it was with this hand that Cain iced his brother. Love: these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: static. One hand is always fighting the other hand, and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand—Love—is finished. But hold on, stop the presses; the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes now, that's right. Ooh, it's a devastating right and Hate is hurt. He's down. Left-Hand Hate KO-ed by Love."

"I may have been born yesterday, but I stayed up all night."

"Everybody's a teacher. People can teach you two things, what to do and what not to do."

"You always avoid direct eye contact, you know that? Are you afraid of something? Are you afraid that I might see the real you? Huh? Answer me. Come on, answer me."

"I know that it's painful at times, but we're not making this up. The depths of degradation in cartoons, movies, and television shows, the misrepresentation of a people - it's an American legacy. Not just in television or movies, but in all media."

"My film is supposed to reflect that; it is an indictment of the people who write and accept those shows, because we know that they exist today. It also has to do with the $1 million question: What is black? It is a never-ending quest for who we are, and some people are still in search of that."

"You know, I grew up around black people my whole life. I mean, if the truth be told, I probably know niggas better than you. And don't go getting offended by my use of the quote-unquote N-word. I have a black wife and two biracial kids, so I feel I have a right. I don't give a God damn what that prick Spike Lee says. Tarantino was right. Nigger is just a word. If Ol' Dirty Bastard can use it every other word, why can't I?"

"Here's the thing. I grew up in Fort Greene. I grew up here in New York. It's changed. And why does it take an influx of white New Yorkers in the south Bronx, in Harlem, in Bed-Stuy, in Crown Heights for the facilities to get better?"

"With Bamboozled, Lee takes a look at one of film and television's rarest breeds-the black television executive. His satire is based on the current lack of diversity in Hollywood, where 75 percent of television writers are white. And in most cases, the minority writers at networks are all working on the same show (in 1999, it was found that ABC employed nine black writers-all assigned to the same sitcom). In order to succeed in his position as a black television executive, then, Lee's main character delves back into the history of blacks on screen to revive one of the most popular forms of early entertainment: the Minstrel. And with the Minstrel, of course, comes Blackface-perhaps the most dreaded image in the history of American media."

"I'd fuck you, but I don't have a change for a 5."

"They lockin' old white cookbook bitches up!"

"We had a pretty good time together, when she wasn't trying to kill me!"

"Wow! If I'd have known that I would have put that patch on thirty-five years earlier. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm no stranger to this podium. I've come up here and picked up these beautiful golden men before, but always for friends. One night I picked up two: one for Admiral John Ford, one for our beloved Gary Cooper. I was very clever and witty that night, the envy of even Bob Hope, but tonight I don't feel very clever or very witty. I feel very grateful, very humble, and all thanks to many, many people. I want to thank the members of the Academy. To all you people who are watching on television, thank you for taking such a warm interest in our glorious industry. Good night."

"In fact, I don't even call myself an actor. I'm a reactor. I listen to what to what the other guys says and I react to it. That's the John Wayne method."

"I eat as much as I ever did, I drink more than I should, and my sex life is none of your goddamned business."

"There's a lot of things great about life. But I think tomorrow is the most important thing. Comes in to us at midnight very clean, ya know. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."

"With a lot of blacks, there's quite a bit of resentment along with their dissent, and possibly rightfully so. But we can't all of a sudden get down on our knees and turn everything over to the leadership of the blacks. I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated to a point of responsibility. I don't believe in giving authority and positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people."

"The picture business has grown up since I got into it 15 years ago, has acquired a dignity that is beyond reproach. Hollywood is, today, a quiet town compared to other places I have been and can, moreover, be pretty proud of itself, having pushed more charities, given more time to selling war bonds and more talent to entertaining servicemen than any other town in any other part of the country."

"Wayne's most enduring image is that of the displaced loner uncomfortable with the very civilization he is helping to establish and preserve...At his first appearance, we usually sense a very private person with some wound, loss or grievance from the past. At his very best he is much closer to a tragic vision of life...projecting the kind of mystery associated with great acting."

"It was there, that summer of 1943 while the hot wind blew outside, that I first saw John Wayne. Saw the walk, heard the voice. Heard him tell the girl in a picture called War of the Wildcats that he would build her a house, 'at the bend in the river where the cottonwoods grow.' As it happened I did not grow up to be kind of woman who is the heroine in a Western, and although the men I have known have had many virtues and have taken me to live in many places I have come to love, they have never been John Wayne, and they have never taken me to that bend in the river where the cottonwoods grow. Deep in that part of my heart where the artificial rain forever falls, that is still the line I want to hear... When John Wayne rode through my childhood, and perhaps through yours, he determined forever the shapes of certain of our dreams. It did not seem possible that such a man could fall ill, could carry within him that most inexplicable and ungovernable of diseases."

"John Wayne was such a nice man, but he was always a little shy with women, especially blondes."

"John Wayne once called him a "goddamn liberal pinko faggot" and Barry [Norman] laughed in his face. "But that just made him even crosser" explains Barry. "He got up out of his chair, clearly intent on doing me physical harm, then a PR person from Paramount came over sat him down and said "I think the interview's over now, don't you?'"."

"And we jolly green giants cuz we smoke so much broccoli"

"Move Bitch!"

"No gold or platt I was simply red from the years i been holdin' back"

"Comin' to Shady Park is like a freak show, there's some respectable women, and there some freak hoes"

"Watch out for the medallions, my diamonds is reckless, feels like a midget is hangin' from my necklace."

"Ridin' up in them GTO's and 4-4-2's, Grand Prix's, S.S's, causes we so so cool"

"Ridin' Regals all them Lacs, Benz, Bells, Verts, Skylarks, Motorcycles, ATV's with the works"

"I did Bill Cosby's "Noah." Just took the routine from him, word for word, and didn't even think it was stealing. Years later my friends started calling me up saying, "There's this guy, Bill Cosby, who's doing your stuff!""

"I fell in love with the right person, a person I know and who knows me."

"When I've gotten criticism, it's that it's too long, too soft, didn't hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, "What's he doing hitting the government?""

"Oprah: Is there a muscle you use for performing? Billy: Yes — my brain."

"How do you find what's going to make everybody have this strange reaction in their bodies, this response that's sort of chemical and physical all at once—this noise and emotion that changes how you sit? A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great."

"Women need a reason to have sex while men just need a place."

"You are a charmer. You are the Jewish Cary Grant."

"Animal rights is a part of my everyday life. When you live by example, you create a certain level of awareness. Friends of mine, people I have never discussed vegetarianism with, are adopting vegetarian habits because they see it."

"I think, whether we’re talking about gender inequality or racism or queer rights or indigenous rights or animal rights, we’re talking about the fight against injustice. We’re talking about the fight against the belief that one nation, one people, one race, one gender, one species, has the right to dominate, use and control another with impunity. I think we’ve become very disconnected from the natural world. Many of us are guilty of an egocentric world view, and we believe that we’re the centre of the universe. We go into the natural world and we plunder it for its resources. We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow and steal her baby, even though her cries of anguish are unmistakeable. Then we take her milk that’s intended for her calf and we put it in our coffee and our cereal. We fear the idea of personal change, because we think we need to sacrifice something; to give something up. But human beings at our best are so creative and inventive, and we can create, develop and implement systems of change that are beneficial to all sentient beings and the environment."

"There will never be a scenario in which the infliction of fear and pain on a vulnerable individual creates a benefit to humankind."

"The most difficult thing to reconcile is science and religion … And so we created a dilemma for her character that plays right into Mulder’s hands. So that cross she wears, which was there from the pilot episode, is all-important for a character who is torn between her rational character and her spiritual side. That is, I think, a very smart thing to do. The show is basically a religious show. It’s about the search for God. You know, "The truth is out there." That’s what it’s about."

"Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted."

"Agent Mulder believes we are not alone."

"We've got The X-Files, and I believe what we're looking for is in them. I'm more certain than ever the truth is out there, Scully."

"This kid may be the key not just to all human potential, but to all spiritual unexplained paranormal phenomena. The key to everything in The X-Files."

"Carter carried himself as though he were meeting up with some dudes for a beer. Despite being the ’90s’ most intense purveyor of paranoia, his entire demeanor in person seemed to say, "What, me worry?" After the applause died down, he initiated a penchant for deflective self-deprecation that would last all night — "I have a lot of family and friends who are probably wondering why you are clapping." … In the end, Carter left the impression that he doesn’t take the fandom and his own place in it especially seriously, but that he does take his role as a popular storyteller with the deepest sense of personal gravity and responsibility. "The X-Files gets raves in part because it addresses so many of the central themes of life in the United States at the turn of the millennium — a wariness about technology, a wondering about the deeper questions of life and a distrust of big government." It is his ability to bring these issues forth in story form that makes Carter want to continue, despite the weirdness, and makes him so valuable to a culture that needs an intelligent mirror of itself."

"When you put on your shortest dress, please leave some mystery in it. That's the difference between a miniskirt and a ho-skirt. A ho-skirt shows your frisbee. A miniskirt shows just enough to cause some mystery. What these young women lack is mystery."

"My audience and the stories that I tell are African-American stories specific to a certain audience, specific to a certain group of people that I know, that I grew up, and we speak a language. Hollywood doesn't necessarily speak the language. A lot of critics don't speak that language. So, to them, it's like, 'What is this?"

"…when I come to work here and every black person that comes to work here they go, 'Oh my God, it's heaven. Here we are. We're represented.' Where everybody's represented. LGBTQ's represented. Black, white, gay, straight, whatever. We're all represented, working hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm."

"(My mother) loved Madea…She told me whatever you do, don't stop playing this character. She loved Madea. My mother, even though we look alike, she was a much more beautiful version of this character for sure."

"My father who was there in the house, he wasn't at all a role model…And my mother who was trying to protect me from him as best she could, she took me everywhere with her, which gave me a tremendous amount of sensitivity to the things women go through. ... I would spend more time at the laundromat and Lane Bryant than any young boy should. [In my writing] I'm speaking from the little boy who's at her apron, looking up at the world and seeing all that I'm seeing these women go through."

"Those audiences are my critics. They tell me right away! I learnt very early on how far I can go, what I can and can’t say on stage. They inspire the stories that I tell, and how I tell them. It has to be something that the core can relate to. And what I’m finding is that if you serve the core, it grows, and you find a whole new audience."

"That has never been heard of in the history of television. It takes a week to do a sitcom in Hollywood. I do a show a day in my studio, three or four shows a week. So what takes most shows eight years to do, we do in a year"

"I didn’t want to be the kind of man that my father was. So I’ve tried, my entire life, to be the complete and utter opposite of that. And it has served not only the art well, but I think the audience well."

"Children love their mothers. Especially with a boy child and his mother, there's a bond that's unbreakable. I love my mother to this day. One of the most painful things I ever had to do was bury her, realizing that even though I was her hero, I couldn't help her with this last thing. I couldn't help her get better. All I wanted was to give her everything she wanted. Everything my father didn't give her, everything she never had."

"I have to thank Eddie Murphy, 'cause after I saw him do the Klumps [in Nutty Professor II], I said, "I'm going to try my hand at a female character." It was the brilliance of Eddie Murphy. I need to write him a check. Say thank you"

"What I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that God is with me. I know that. I know that He's always been with me. It is evident in everything I have endured—and the fact that I made it through with some sanity."

"Yeah. The guy's up against massive challenges, dealing with consequences, and figuring how to get what he wants and what he believes is right. He's living his worst nightmare, and he's doing everything he can. He's a damn good lawyer and he knows the system, but he's having to pull jokers out of his sleeve and win certain things on sheer willpower and gamble and meddle, you know? So that's what dramas allow, more so than a comedy. It's real-life consequences. The blows, the punches really hurt. The bullets really land. The people really bleed. People really cry. People really enjoy victory. People really feel pain and defeat. You can love harder. You can cry harder. You can be more angry, harder. That's what dramas allow."

"I've lost 38 pounds. I feel good now. Overall, probably got 35 percent less energy, but there's been plateaus, like getting past 170 was really hard, but then once you get [to] 167 the next seven come off easy. Getting past 160, really hard. But then you fly down to 150. Getting past 150 was really hard and then, bam! Got down to 143 and that's where I want to be. So, once you get past the plateau, your body seems to understand, ‘O.K., this is where we're leaving now, this is where we are’ and so the energy rises."

"As you all are aware there was another mass shooting today, this time in my home town of Uvalde, Texas. Once again, we have tragically proven that we are failing to be responsible for the rights our freedoms grant us. The true call to action now is for every American to take a longer and deeper look in the mirror, and ask ourselves, ‘What is it that we truly value? How do we repair the problem? What small sacrifices can we individually take today, to preserve a healthier and safer nation, state, and neighborhood tomorrow?’ We cannot exhale once again, make excuses, and accept these tragic realities as the status quo. As Americans, Texans, mothers and fathers, it's time we re-evaluate, and renegotiate our wants from our needs. We have to rearrange our values and find a common ground above this devastating American reality that has tragically become our children’s issue. This is an epidemic we can control, and whichever side of the aisle we may stand on, we all know we can do better. We must do better. Action must be taken so that no parent has to experience what the parents in Uvalde and the others before them have endured."

"My wife and I — my wife and I — Camila — we spent most of last week on the ground with the families in Uvalde, Texas, and we shared stories, tears, and memories. The common thread, independent of the anger and the confusion and sadness, it was the same: How can these families continue to honor these deaths by keeping the dreams of these children and teachers alive? Again, how can the loss of these lives matter? So while we honor and acknowledge the victims, we need to recognize that this time it seems that something is different. There is a sense that perhaps there is a viable path forward. Responsible parties in this debate seem to at least be committed to sitting down and having a real conversation about a new and improved path forward — a path that can bring us closer together and make us safer as a country, a path that can actually get something done this time."

"Camila and I came here to share my stories from my hometown of Uvalde. I came here to take meetings with elected officials on both sides of the aisle. We came here to speak to them, to speak with them, and to urge them to speak with each other — to remind and inspire them that the American people will continue to drive forward the mission of keeping our children safe, because it’s more than our right to do so, it’s our responsibility to do so. I’m here today in the hopes of applying what energy, reason, and passion that I have into trying to turn this moment into a reality. Because as I said, this moment is different. We are in a window of opportunity right now that we have not been in before, a window where it seems like real change — real change can happen."

"Uvalde, Texas, is where I was born. It’s where my mom taught kindergarten less than a mile from Robb Elementary. Uvalde is where I learned to master a Daisy BB gun. I took that — that took two years before I graduated to a 410 shotgun. Uvalde is where I was taught to revere the power and the capability of the tool that we call a gun. Uvalde is where I learned responsible gun ownership. And Uvalde called me on May 24th, when I learned the news of this devastating tragedy. I had been out of cellular range working in the studio all day when I emerged and messages about a mass shooting in the town I was born in began flooding my inbox. In a bit of shock, I drove home, hugged my children a bit tighter and longer than the night before, and then the reality of what had happened that day in the town I was born in set in. So the next morning, Camila, myself, and the kids, we loaded up the truck and drove to Uvalde. And when we arrived a few hours later, I got to tell you, even from the inside of our vehicle, you could feel the shock in the town. You could feel the pain, the denial, the disillusion, anger, blame, sadness, loss of lives, dreams halted."

"We saw ministries. We saw first responders, counselors, cooks, families trying to grieve without it being on the frontpage news. We met with the local funeral director and countless morticians who — who hadn’t slept since the massacre the day before because they’d been working 24/7 trying to handle so many bodies at once — so many little, innocent bodies who had their entire lives still yet to live. And that is there that we met two of the grieving parents, Ryan and Jessica Ramirez. Their 10-year-old daughter, Alithia — she was one of the 19 children that were killed the day before."

"Now, Alithia — her dream was to go to art school in Paris and one day share her art with the world. Ryan and Jessica were eager to share Alithia’s art with us, and said if we could share it, then somehow maybe that would make Alithia smile in heaven. They told us that showing someone else Alithia’s art would in some way keep her alive. Now, this particular drawing is a — is a self-portrait of Alithia drawing, with her friend in heaven looking down on her drawing the very same picture. Her mother said, of this drawing — she said, "You know, we never really talked to her about heaven before, but somehow she knew." Alithia was 10 years old. Her father, Ryan — this man was steady. He was uncommonly together and calm. When a frazzled friend of his came up and said, "How are you so calm? I’d be going crazy," Ryan told him — he said, "No, you wouldn’t. No, you wouldn’t. You’d be strong for your wife and kids, because if they see you go crazy, that will not help them.""

"We need to restore our family values. We need to restore our American values. And we need responsible gun ownership — responsible gun ownership. We need background checks. We need to raise the minimum age to purchase an AR-15 rifle to 21. We need a waiting period for those rifles. We need red-flag laws and consequences for those who abuse them. These are reasonable, practical, tactical regulations to our nation, states, communities, schools, and homes. Responsible gun owners are fed up with the Second Amendment being abused and hijacked by some deranged individuals. These regulations are not a step back; they’re a step forward for a civil society and — and the Second Amendment. Look, is this a cure-all? Hell no. But people are hurting — families are, parents are. And look, as — as divided as our country is, this gun responsibility issue is one that we agree on more than we don’t. It really is. But this should be a nonpartisan issue. This should not be a partisan issue. There is not a Democratic or Republican value in one single act of these shooters. It’s not. But people in power have failed to act. So we’re asking you and I’m asking you, will you please ask yourselves: Can both sides rise above? Can both sides see beyond the political problem at hand and admit that we have a life preservation problem on our hands?"

"Because we got a chance right now to reach for and to grasp a higher ground above our political affiliations, a chance to make a choice that does more than protect your party, a chance to make a choice that protects our country now and for the next generation. We got to take a sober, humble, and honest look in the mirror and re- — rebrand ourselves based on what we truly value. What we truly value. We got to get some real courage and honor our immortal obligations instead of our party affiliations. Enough with the counterpunching. Enough of the invalidation of the other side. Let’s come to the common table that represents the American people. Find a … middle ground, the place where most of us Americans live anyway, especially on this issue. Because I promise you, America — you and me, who — we are not as divided as we’re being told we are. No."

"Let’s be knowledgeable and wise, and act on what we truly believe. Again, we got to look in the mirror, lead with humility, and acknowledge the values that are inherent to but also above politics. We’ve got to make choices, make stands, embrace new ideas, and preserve the traditions that can create true — true progress for the next generation. With real leadership, let’s start giving us — all of us, with real leadership — let’s start giving all of us good reason to believe that the American Dream is not an illusion."

"I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."

"I know we've had our differences, Allie, and that we haven't seen eye to eye on everything. I'm not perfect, but I did the best I could with raising you. I'm your mother and I always will be. That means I'll always love you." Allie was silent for a moment, then: "What should I do?" "I don't know, Allie. That's up to you. But I would think about it. Think about what you really want."

"I can't make this decision for you, Allie, this one's all yours. I want you to know, though, that I love you. And I always will. I know that doesn't help, but it's all I can do."

"Follow your heart,"

"I lead a simple life now, I am foolish, an old man in love, a dreamer who dreams of nothing but reading to Allie and holding her whenever I can. I am a sinner with many faults and a man who believes in magic, but I am too old to change and too old to care."

"My Dearest Catherine, I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together."

"Deanna's voice softened. "Theresa, I know there's a part of you that believes you can change someone, but the reality is that you can't. You can change yourself, and Garrett can change himself, but you can't do it for him." "I know that--" "But you don't," Deanna said, gently cutting her off. "Or if you do, you don't want to see it that way. Your vision, as they say, has become clouded.""

"Oh, Garrett, who do you think it was that brought the bottle to her?"

"It was...the most difficult walk anyone ever had to make. In every way, a walk to remember."

"I can no more give Jamie away than I can give away my heart. But what I can do is let another share in the joy that she has always given me."

"Youth offers the promise of happiness, but life offers the realities of grief."

"Even now, not a day goes by when I don't wish I could turn back the clock and change what happened."

"So many people these days, it seemed, believed that these things (personal fulfillment and self-esteem) could come only from work, not from parenting, and many people believed that having children had nothing to do with raising them."

"Her mother had once told her that there were men who kept secrets bottled up inside and that it spelled trouble for the women who loved them."

"Mitch...was the kind of man who added something to everything he touched and everyone he came in contact with. I was envious of his view on life. He saw it all as a big game, where the only way to win was to be good to other people, to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see."

"Why? Do you want to rescue me, too, Taylor? … That's what you're trying to do, isn't it? … I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it's not what I need right now. I need to handle this my own way."

"Loving someone and having them love you back is the most precious thing in the world. It's what made it possible for me to go on..."

"Where does a story truly start? In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings, those moments when we can, in looking back, say that everything started. Yet these are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives, setting in motion a sequence of events whose outcome we could never have foreseen"

"There are ghosts and there is love, And both are present here, To those who listen, this tale will tell The truth of love and if it's near."

"I don't want to be a grown-up. … Because grown-ups always say that things are complicated."

"If it's over--if it's really over--then don't let it screw up the rest of your life."

"No," his father replied, "you ran for you. I just hope you're running toward something, not away from something."

"...The greater the love, the greater the tragedy when it's over. Those two elements always go together. … The best we can hope for in life is that it doesn't happen for a long, long time."

"When I sleep, I dream of you, and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side, and my days with your heart."

"And don't worry. From wherever I am, I'll watch out for you. I'll be your guardian angel, sweetheart. You can count on me to keep you safe."

"Nowadays, she thought, it was the little things in life that mattered. If the highlights in her past set the tone, it was the day-by-day events that now defined who she was."

"You know me better than anyone, and you're my best friend. I don't think there's anything you could say to me that would lead me to believe that you're doing it just to hurt me. If there's one thing I've come to know about you, it's that you're not even capable of something like that. Why do you think I like spending time with you so much? Because you're a good guy. A nice guy."

"My mom used to tell me that whatever you do, marry someone who loves you more than you love him."

"She'd always believed that people come in two varieties: those who look out the windshield and those who stare in the rearview mirror. She'd always been the windshield type: Gotta focus on the future, not the past, because that's the only part that's still up for grabs."

"...feeling her helplessness. There was nothing worse. Most people lived under the illusion that they were in control of their lives, but that wasn't completely true. Yeah, you could decide what to have for breakfast and what to wear and all those little things, but as soon as you stepped out into the world, you were pretty much at the mercy of everyone else around you, and all you could do was hope that if they were having a bad day, they wouldn't decide to take it out on you."

"...when two people live together, the stress flows both ways. This, I come to believe, is both the blessing and the curse of marriage. It's a blessing because there's an outlet for the everyday strains of life; it's a curse because the outlet is someone you care deeply about."

"...she would fall in love with me again, just like she had a long time ago. And that's the most wonderful feeling in the world. How many people are ever given that chance? To have someone you love fall in love with you over and over?"

"He had not only known that I would be coming to see him, I realized, but had anticipated the reason for my visit. And in typical southern fashion, he'd given me the answer to my problem, without my ever having to ask him directly."

"I've come to believe that children live for the satisfaction of surprising their parents..."

"...there is the fact that having a child transforms the basic marriage relationship. No longer are you simply husband and wife, you are mother and father as well, and all spontaneity vanishes immediately."

"No, there's no experience quite like having children, and despite the challenges we once faced, I've considered myself blessed because of the family we created."

"But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day."

"Marriage is about compromise, it's about doing something for the other person, even when you don't want to."

"The events of the past year have taught me much about myself, and a few universal truths. I learned, for instance, that while wounds can be inflicted easily upon those we love, it's often much more difficult to heal them. Yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience of my life, leading me to believe that while I've often overestimated what I could accomplish in a day, I had underestimated what I could do in a year. But most of all, I learned that it's possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there's been a lifetime of disappointment between them."

"It isn't easy living with an author. I know this because my wife has informed me of this fact."

"I've come to understand that arguing with her about it has never solved anything. So instead of denying it, I've learned to take her hands, look her in the eyes, and respond with those three magic words that every woman wants to hear: "You're right, sweetheart.""

"Writing is easy. It's just the typing that's hard."

"My wife, I might add, is a saint. Either that, or maybe she is insane."

"Denial is an ugly thing, Nicky." "I'm not in denial.""See what I mean? That's denial."

"...the secret of a long lasting marriage is... ...communication. When we talk about issues and really open up to each other, things are great between us. When we keep things to ourselves, grudges and resentments build up and we end up arguing." ..."What good is talking if neither of you are really committed?...marriage comes down to actions. I think people talk too much about the things that bother them, instead of actually doing the little things that keep a marriage strong. You have to know what your spouse needs from you, and then you do it. And you avoid doing the things that harm the relationship. If your spouse acts the same way, your marriage can make it through anything."

"...it was in her refusal to allow any of us to indulge in self-pity of any kind...through a maddening style of argument, in which the following three statements were repeated in various sequences: A. It's your life + social commentary. B. What you want and what you get are usually two entirely different things. C. No one ever said that life was fair."

"Relationships are the most important thing in life, and friends are part of that."

"Standing next to Micah, I realized that there were times when we talked not because we needed to communicate anything important, but simply because we each drew comfort from the other's voice."

"When you chase a dream, you learn about yourself. You learn your capabilities and limitations, and the value of hard work and persistence."

"Dreams are funny like that. You want something so desperately, you somehow get it, then just as suddenly it's over. Like running races--all that training for a couple of minutes on the track. The secret, I've learned, is to appreciate the process."

"...you have to give them both credit for being good parents simply because of the way their kids turned out. We're happily married, successful, ethical, and we remained close as siblings. If your kids can say the same thing later in life, won't you think you did a good job as a parent?"

"Work, spirituality, family, friendships, health--you can't ignore any of them or it'll get you in the end."

"My dad was a good man. A kind man... I...loved him for what he did. He'd foster independence, showed us the value of education, and taught us to be curious about the world. Even more important, he'd helped the three of us become close as siblings, which I consider to be the greatest gift of all. I could have asked for nothing more in a father. And really, who could?"

"Our stories are funny because we lived them, and we survived them. The worse the incident was when it was happening, the funnier the story had become to us over the years."

"I tell Ryan that God gave him a brother like Miles so that Ryan could learn that anything is possible and that he can be good at anything. And I tell Miles that God gave him Ryan so that Miles could learn patience and persistence and how to overcome challeges."

"Life, he decided, was for living, not for having, and he wanted to experience every moment that he could. At the deepest level, he'd come to understand that life could end at any moment, and it was better to be happy than busy."

"We'd been raised to survive, to meet challenges, and to chase our dreams. … And we don't only love each other, but like each other as well."

"One day, you're going to learn something that can't be explained with science. And when that happens, your life's going to change in ways you can't imagine."

"My point is simply that kids turn out okay as long as the parents are involved, no matter where they live. It's not like small towns have a monopoly on values. I mean, I'm sure if I did some digging, I'd find lots of kids that were in trouble here, too. Kids are kids, no matter where they live."

"I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on. It's perfectly normal."

"She didn't hide what she was thinking, she didn't try to impress him, nor was she swayed by anything he'd accomplished in the past. Instead she seemed to evaluate him as he was today, right now, without holding either the past or the future against him."

"Love could be set in motion quickly, but true love needed time to grow into something strong and enduring. Love was, above all, about commitment and dedication and a belief that spending years with a certain person would create something greater than the sum of what the two could accomplish separately. Only time, however, could show whether you'd been accurate in your judgment."

"In her new, more mature incarnation, she embraced the idea that maturity meant thinking about risk long before you pondered the reward, and that success and happiness in life were as much about avoiding mistakes as making your mark in the world."

"I'm of the opinion that anyone--even strangers--can sense the urgency of a request, and most people will usually do the right thing. … But when that didn't work, I offered to pay them."

"Life was about spending time together, about having the time to walk together holding hands, talking quietly as they watched the sun go down. It wasn't glamorous, but it was, in many ways, the best that life had to offer. Wasn't that how the old saying went? Who, on their deathbed, ever said they wished they had worked harder? Or spent less time enjoying a quiet afternoon? Or spent less time with their family?"

"Sometimes the same emotion that breaks your heart is the very one that will heal it..."

"Is love at first sight truly possible?"

"It was like a vacation, one he hadn't planned for, but one that left him feeling more rested than he had in years. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he was choosing the pace of his life rather than his life choosing the pace. Being bored, he decided, was an underrated art form."

"Does trust have to be earned? Or is it simply a matter of faith?"

"...but what I eventually came to understand was that if a woman truly loves you, you can't always expect her to tell the truth. You see, women are more attuned to feelings than men are, and if they're not being truthful, more often than not it's because they think the truth might hurt your feelings. But it doesn't mean they don't love you."

"...The one thing you've got to remember is to see the big picture. When things get tough, remind yourself why you fell in love with her in the first place. She's a special woman, and you were lucky to find her, just as she was lucky to find you. She's got a heart of gold, and you can't fake something like that."

"Well, then I'd say it takes two to tango. My guess is that both of you are right and both of you are wrong. That's the way most arguments go, anyway. People are who they are and no one is perfect, but marriage is about becoming a team. You're going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you'll alway figure out a way to get through it."

"...What's going on with you two, all this stress you're both under...that's called life. And life has a tendency to throw curveballs when you least expect them. Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that's the thing--you're a couple, and couples can't function without trust. You have to trust him, and he's got to trust you."

"Like I said, you're in this together. Men have certain needs, women have different needs; that's the way it was hundreds of years ago, and that's the way it's going to be hundreds of years from now. If you both realize that, and you both work on meeting each other's needs, you'll have a good marriage. And part of that, for both of you, is trust. In the end, it's that simple."

"Kids are people, too, and once they start getting older, they make their own decisions. There's only so much you can do."

"...once she becomes a teenager...well, sometimes there's nothing you can do. With or without you, in the end, children grow up to become the people they were meant to be."

"...having children changes your life like nothing else. It'll be the hardest and best thing you've ever done."

"...suddenly certain that what he was doing now was the sole reason he'd been placed on this earth. To love another. To care for someone else, to help another person, to carry her worries until she was strong enough to carry them on her own. To care for someone unconditionally, for in the end that was what gave life meaning."

"I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart. Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever."

"...(in the army) you're forced to learn the most important lesson in life, and that's the fact that you have to live up to your responsibilities, and you better do it right. When given an order, you can't say no. It's no exaggeration to say that lives are on the line. One wrong decision, and your buddy might die. It's this fact that makes the army work. That's the big mistake a lot of people make when they wonder how soldiers can put their lives on the line day after day or how they can fight for something they may not believe in. Not everyone does. ...but when all is said and done, we do what we do for one another. For friendship. Not for country, not for patriotism, not because we're programmed killing machines, but because of the guy next to you. You fight for your friend, to keep him alive, and he fights for you, and everything about the army is built on this simple premise."

"...good teachers are priceless. They inspire you, they entertain you, and you end up learning a ton even when you don't know it." "Because they're passionate about their subjects."

"...when you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through."

"...She had the rare ability to be exactly what people needed when she was with them and yet still remain true to herself."

"I knew my dad was a good man, a kind man, and though he'd led a wounded life, he'd done the best he could in raising me."

"...I learned that it's possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems, and that in time, the grief...lessens. It may not ever go away completely, but after a while it's not overwhelming."

"...I finally understood what true love really meant. ...that love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

"Stories are as unique as the people who tell them, and the best stories are those in which the ending is a surprise."

"It went without saying that he felt guilty about what had happened, but married friends had assured him that guilt was the cornerstone of any good marriage. It meant that a conscience was at work, values were held in high esteem, and reasons to feel guilty were best avoided whenever possible."

"...he remembered being very happy. But things change. People change. Change was one of the inevitable laws of nature, exacting its toll on people's lives. Mistakes were made, regrets form, and all the was left were repercussions that made something as simple as rising from the bed seem almost laborious."

"No pretenses, no attempts to impress, no one trying to show anyone up."

"Parents might believe themselves to be the bosses, but in the end it was the kids who made the rules."

"He often felt that too many people lived their lives acting and pretending, wearing masks and losing themselves in the process."

"That was one of the great things about being single: A person could pretty much do what he wanted, whenever he wanted, and introspection was only an option."

"Was living together a step toward the future or just a way to continue the present?"

"Traveling has less to do with seeing things than experiencing them...."

"But I'm different now than i was then. Just like I was different at the end of the trip than I'd been at the beginning. And I'll be different tomorrow than I am today. And what that means is that I can never replicate that trip. Even if I went to the same places and met the same people, it wouldn't be the same. My experience wouldn't be the same. To me, that's what traveling should be about. Meeting people, learning to not only appreciate a different culture, but really enjoy it like a local, following whatever impulse strikes you."

"'He who does nothing is the one who does nothing.'...'Blessed are the lazy who lie in boats, for they shall inherit a suntan.'"

"...people are pretty much the same. Especially through adolescence and early adulthood. For the most part, people go through the same experiences and think the same thing, but somehow on one ever escapes the belief that his experience is unique in every conceivable way."

"In other words, when the going get tough, the tough get going."

"Love is a wonderful thing. It makes life worthwhile. I love being in love." "Spoken like a man with plenty of experience. But keep in mind that true love lasts forever." "Poets would say that true love always ends in tragedy."

"...he realized that the same thing that made women initially attractive to him--their need to be taken care of--was the very thing that eventually signaled he end of the relationship. How did that old saying go? If you've been divorced once, you might be right in thinking your ex was the problem. If you've been divorced three times? Well, folks, the problem is most definitely you. Granted, he hadn't been divorced, but the point was well taken."

"Finding a woman with a sense of humor had been the one piece of advice his father had given him when he'd first begun to get serious about dating, and he finally understood why his dad had considered it important. If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale."

"But would she do it differently if she could? She doubted it. Her experiences growing up ad formed her into the woman that she'd become, just as his experiences had formed him, and she didn't regret them. And yet...she knew that wasn't the question that mattered. ...she realized the choice before her was this: Where do I go from here? It is never too late to change things."

"How far should a person go in the name of true love?"

"Thinking back, he recalled events he wished he could change, tears he wished had never been shed, time that could have been better spent, and frustrations he should have shrugged off. Life, it seemed, was full of regret, and he yearned to turn back the clock so he could live parts of his live over again. One thing was certain: He should have been a better husband."

"...people always said that parenting and worrying were synonymous..."

"...he often wondered when exactly her feeling for him finally overwhelmed those she'd had for Kevin... He wasn't sure; capturing a specific instant like that was no more possible than locating a specific drop of water in the ocean."

"These days, it seemed that the only thing he was certain about was the knowledge that he wouldn't trade his years with Gabby for anything. Without her, his life had little meaning. He was a small-town husband with a small-town occupation and his cares were no different from anyone else's. He'd been neither a leader nor a follower, nor had he been someone who would be remembered long after he passed away. He was the most ordinary of men with only one exception: He'd fallen in love with a woman named Gabby, his love deepening in the years they'd been married. But fate had conspired to ruin all that, and now he spent long periods of his days wondering whether it was humanly possible to fix things between them."

"Marriage, each of them realized intuitively, was about compromise and forgiveness. It was about balance, where one person complemented the other."

"You're doing the best you can, right? Isn't that what we always tell each other?"

"He loved his wife but hated what life with her had become, cursing himself for even thinking this way."

"The past was gone and the future had yet to unfold, and he knew he should focus his life on the present...yet his day-to-day existence suddenly struck him as endless and unbearable."

"...He was with the woman and daughters he loved, and who could ever need or want anything more than that?...It was just a normal day, a day like any other. But most of all, it was a day in which everything was exactly the way it should be."

"...There is a greater purpose to all this. It is your destiny."

"...she was struck by the simple truth that sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people."

"Life, he realized, was much like a song. In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation, but it's in the middle where all the emotion resides to make the whole thing worthwhile."

"That's what courage is. If she weren't scared, she wouldn't need courage in the first place."

"...people who are grieving have to want to move on--that first step, that motivating spark, has to come from within them. And when it does, it opens the door to the unexpected."

"Love doesn't mean anything if you're not willing to make a commitment, and you have to think not only about what you want, but about what he wants. Not just now, but in the future."

"I just tell people what they already know but are afraid to admit to themselves."

"I'm not sure anyone's life turns out exactly the way they imagine. All we can do is to try to make the best of it. Even when it seems impossible."

"Maybe I don't want to be defined by what I do. Maybe I'd like to be defined by what I am."

"Long-term relationships--the ones that matter--are all about weathering the peaks and valleys."

"Dying is a strange business, and I'm not going to bore you with the details. I might have weeks or I might have months and though it's a cliche, it's true that so many of the things I once believed to be important no longer are. ...I find myself reflecting on the essential moments of my life."

"Katie eventually realizes that she must choose between a life of transient safety and one of riskier rewards...and that in the darkest hour, love is the only true safe haven."

"He knew that Amanda would always be the very best part of him, the self he would always long to know."

"It was a life, she eventually concluded, that had been lived in the middle ground, where contentment and love were found in the smallest details of people's lives. It was a life of dignity and honor, not without sorrows yet fulfilling in a way that few experiences ever were. She knew Tuck understood that more than anyone."

"...he had the sense that they were both lonely, albeit in different ways. He was a solitary figure in a vast landscape while she was a face in a nameless crowd."

"In the end, everything came down to money. It came down to what a person actually did, as opposed to who they thought they were,..."

"...the grass isn't always greener on the other side. What the younger generation didn't understand was that the grass was greener where it's watered, which meant that both Frank and Amanda had to get out their hoses if they wanted to make things better."

"...even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn't constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me."

"You have to understand that I'm not the girl I used to be. I'm a wife and a mother now, and like everyone else I'm not perfect. I struggle with the choices I've made and I make mistakes, and half the time I wonder who I really am or what I'm doing or whether my life means anything at all. I'm not special at all, Dawson, and you need to know that. You have to understand that I'm just...ordinary."

"Love, after all, always said more about those who felt it than it did about the ones they loved."

"The past was gone, after all, and the future was the only thing they had left."

"...there'd also been an unvarnished honestly in what they'd said. There were no hidden meanings, no secret attempts to pass judgment; as quickly as their disagreements had flared up, they'd pass."

"But trust me when I say that memories are funny things. Sometimes they're real, but other times they change into what we want them to be... But like I said, she's hurting, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that people in pain don't always see things as clearly as they should... And if it somehow doesn't work out between you, then you've got to understand that you can't look back anymore. It'll destroy you in the end, and destroy her as well. Neither one of you can keep living with regret, because it drains the life right out of you, and the very idea is enough to break my heart."

"...I said everything that matters... Don't take my advice. Or anyone's advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it's your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you."

"I sometimes think to myself that I’m the last of my kind."

"His voice, even now, follows me everywhere on this longest of rides, this thing called life."

"What's your horse's name?""Horse.""Sophia waited for the joke, but it didn't come. "You call your horse 'Horse'?""He doesn't mind.""You should give him a noble name. Like Prince or Chief or something.""It might confuse him now.""Trust me. Anything is better than Horse. It's like naming a dog Dog.""I have a dog named Dog. Australian Cattle Dog." He turned, his expression utterly matter-of-fact. "Great herder.""And your mom didn't complain?""My mom named him."

"I had never dreamed of being a soldier; I had never fired a gun. I was not, nor ever had been, a fighter of any sort, but even so, I loved my country, and I spent much of that year trying to imagine a future distorted by war."

"As your father used to say, we shared the longest ride together, this thing called life, and mine has been filled with joy because of you."

"The words nearly break my heart, and I feel something crumble inside me. The truth is often a terrible thing, and I wish again that I were someone else. But it is too late now, too late to change anything. I am old and alone and I'm dying a little more with each passing hour. I'm tired, more tired than I've ever been."

"While she was exceptional, I was average, a man whose major accomplishment in life was to love her without reservation, and that would never change."

"It was the way you looked at me while I looked at the art that changed me. It is you, in other words, who changed."

"As much as I love her, I admit that she has always remained somewhat of an enigma to me...I liked this about her. I liked the mystery she added to my life. I liked the occasional silence between us, for ours was a comfortable silence. It was a passionate silence, one that had its roots in comfort and desire."

"In this world, after all, I've become more or less invisible...I've become what the young are afraid of becoming, just another member of the nameless elderly, an old and broken man with nothing left to offer to this world.My days are inconsequential, comprising simple moments and even simpler pleasures. I eat and sleep and think of Ruth; I wander the house and stare the the paintings, and in the mornings, I feed the pigeons that gather in my backyard."

"My marriage brought great happiness into my life, but lately there's been nothing but sadness. I understand that love and tragedy go hand in hand, for there can't be one without the other, but nonetheless I find myself wondering whether the tradeoff is fair. A man should die as he had lived, I think; in his final moments, he should be surrounded and comforted by those he's always loved."

"You are a smart man, Ira, but sometimes I think you do not understand women very well."

"I was not meant to be alone. I am not good at it. The years since Ruth's passing have ticked by with the kind of desparate silence known only to the elderly. It is a silence underscored by loneliness and the knowledge that the good years are already in the past, coupled with the complications of old age itself.The body is not meant to survive nearly a century. I speak from experience when I say this..."

"A truth emerges in any long marriage, and the truth is this: Our spouses sometimes know us better than we even know ourselves."

"I wish I had the talent to paint the way I feel about you, for my words always feel inadequate. I imagine using red for your passion and pale blue for your kindness; forest green to reflect the depth of your empathy and bright yellow for your unflagging optimism. And still I wonder: can even an artist's palette capture the full range of what you mean to me?"

"My plea to you is this: despite your sadness, do not forget how happy you have made me; do not forget that I loved a man who loved me in return, and this was the greatest gift I could ever hope to receive."

"[Written on back of photograph of Ruth and Daniel] "Ruth LevinsonThird grade teacher.She believes in me and I can be anything I want when I grow up.I can even change the world.""

"'If there is a heaven, we will find each other again, for there is no heaven without you.'"

"There's a war on for your mind!"

"If you are receiving this transmission, you are the resistance."

"I want you to let them know that if there is any terrorism, we know who to blame ... if any terrorist had come from this government and there isn't an outside threat like Bin Laden who is a known CIA asset in the 80's, he is "the boogeyman" they need..."

"They're rolling out their new currency stock market priority crashing globally. The EU was up against the dollar. You know, everything is about currency speculation. A lot of the evidence I'm getting from my sources say this could be an EU move and look how they attacked our very financial center to destroy the dollar."

"A lot of the wars, a lot of the stuff happening in the Middle East, is because of the Israeli lobby, one of the most powerful in the United States, and they they brag about this. It's called a conspiracy theory here in the US, but they've bought off a lot of the preachers to go spout this stuff, that's public. They have bragged, Erol Sharone bragged that they own our congress. They have bragged and then Haaretz and Jerusalem Post will jump up and down and say that the US has got to do more to attack Iran and go into these other countries. Y'know folks always think that "well, they blew up the World Trade Centers to get the seven billion in insurance money" or "they did it to get the oil" or "they did it to be able to invade the middle east" or "did they it for weapons sales" or "they did it for opium" or "they did it for Israel". It's ALL those reasons. The New World Order doesn't do something unless the cost-benefit analysis, it helps ALL of their major operations, and this is what it really comes down to in the final equation. The people destroying America are the ones who got us into this foreign war. It has nothing to do with patriotism, you're destroying yourself, and Israel's very corrupt, does a lot of horrible things, they're very oppressive to their own people."

"In the near future earth is dominated by a powerful world government. Once free nations are slaves to the will of a tiny elite. The dawn of a new dark age is upon mankind. Countries are a thing of the past. Every form of independence is under attack with the family and even the individual itself nearing extinction. Close to 80% of the earth's population has been eliminated. ... A program of total dehumanization where the science of tyranny is law. A world-wide control grid designed to ensure the overlord's monopoly of power forever. Our species will be condemned to this nightmare future unless the masses are awakened to the New World Order Master Plan and mobilized to defeat it."

"The remnants of a once free humanity are forced to live within highly controlled compact prison-like cities. Travel is highly restricted. Superhighways connect the mega cities and keep the population from entering into unauthorized zones."

"No human activity is private. A.I. supercomputers chronicle and categorize every action. A Prison Planet dominated by a ruthless gang of control freaks - whose power can never be challenged. This is the vision of the global elite: their goal."

"I grew up in Dallas, Texas, drinking sodium fluoridated water. All the scientific studies show my IQ has been reduced by at least 20 points. The shadow of who I would have been calls out from the grave."

"The least you can do is investigate. The minimum that is expected of you as a sentient being is to question your reality."

"Just men in black uniforms grabbing a fifty five-year-old uh you know woman just choking ah you're gonna learn who we are you're gonna learn to submit the foreign bankers have given us unlimited power and we're gonna rule you this is our country your here and WE'RE GONNA FEED ON YOUR ASS!, AND THE COPS JUST DRINK FLUORIDE WATER, AHHH THEY TAKE THEIR KIDS AND JUST SHOOT 'EM UP WITH MERCURY and the kids become autistic the cops don't care they're I'm GOING TO THE TIT BAR I don't care if my kids brain-damaged they drink whiskey and wreck and kill everybody in Austin and then when they wreck and kill themselves the cops then go and SWAT team the bar owners that sold them too much whiskey it's your fault you sold too much whiskey to a god. YOU DON'T SELL TOO MUCH WHISKEY TO A GOD! We're God! You understand we roll America; we'll shoot you in the face, we'll bloody your face, and we'll laugh about it because we're weak gang members."

"And now they love it, they can abuse and beat up everybody and nobody can stop 'em. Nobody can stop 'em! They're having their way with America! They want our guns! And if you're not with 'em cops and military, then you will declare that you are with the Republic now. And don't tell me that I'm a weirdo 'cause I'm upset about this, and I should only go get upset about my favorite football team winning or losing. Listen, I know what tyranny means, I know the bankers are putting poison in our food and water. I know the bankers have stolen 8.5 trillion. I know we're under the War Powers Act. I know they're hurting us, I know they're carrying out New Word Order, I know they staged those terror attacks. You know what it's like to gut up to this and go out every day and go past the peer pressure and come out day one and say 9/11 was an inside job and lose most of the radio stations I was on? You know what it's like to go to sleep every night knowing you work for a bunch of psychotic killers, and you bastards are probably gonna end up killing me one day?! You know what it's like knowing you've ruined my life?! You know what it's like, you sons of bitches?! I'm tired of your crap! You commit evil, you're part of an evil system, and we're standing up against you! And the Republic is going to defeat you in the end! Some of us won't make it personally through this, but a lot of us are. And in the end you are gonna be brought to justice for all the kids you kidnapped for CPS, all you CPS workers, all you corrupt bureaucrats, all of you that've had your way with innocent children over and over again, who think your evil is invincible, you're not invincible and God is gonna deal with you, and you are cursed to hell!"

"I see through your lies Barack Obama you WICKED WICKED DEVIL!"

"I'm like a chimpanzee, in a tree, jumping up and down, warning other chimpanzees when I see a big cat coming through the woods... I'm the weirdo? Because I'm sitting in a tree going "OOH OOH AAH AAH AAH OOH AAH AAH OOH OOH OOH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH!"?"

"The reason there are so many gay people now is because it's a chemical warfare operation. I have the government documents where they said they're going to encourage homosexuality with chemicals so people don't have children."

"Look, when you realize how fake it all is; the football, the basketball, the Lady Gaga, the Justin Bieber—you know, who gives you these carbon tax messages. They tell your kids they gotta love Justin Biebler [sic], and then Biebler [sic] says "hand in your guns", "pass the Cyber Security Act", and "the police state is good", and then your children are turned into a mindless vassals—who now, they look up to some twit, instead of looking up to Thomas Jefferson, or looking up to Nikola Tesla, or looking up to Magellan; I mean, kids, Magellan is a lot cooler than Justin Bieber! He circumnavigated with one ship the entire planet! He was killed by wild natives before they got back to Portugal! And when they got back there was only like eleven people alive of the two hundred and something crew and the entire ship was rotting down to the waterline! That's destiny! That's will! That's striving! That's being a trailblazer and explore! Going into space! Mathematics! Quantum mechanics! The secrets of the universe! It's all there! Life is fiery with its beauty! Its incredible detail! Tuning into it! They wanna shutter your mind, talking about Justin Bieber! It's pure evil! They're taking your intellect, your soul, and giving you Michael Jordan and Bieber. Unlock your human potential! Defeat the globalists who wanna shutter your mind!—Your doorways to perception!—I wanna see you truly live! I wanna see you truly be who you are! AAAHHH! I don't want my progeny who's coming, my unborn grandchildren and great-grandchildren to live in this nightmare system these control freaks have created where these wicked globalists are so threatened by human potential they poison the water, the vaccines, the food to turn us into a bunch of slugs, a bunch of lobotomized sloths so they can control us. It is a crime, it is the most jealous, envious, greedy, hateful, sickening thing the New World Order does and that's why I am so pleased to be committed in the fight against them. That's why I don't care about my own life except I wanna continue to live to fight them. That's why I don't have fear. I only have fear of myself and my flesh and not being up to the challenge! And I ask you to look in the mirror, and ask yourselves what are you doing in this time of great challenge? What are you doing to unlock minds? Once you unlock a mind, once you unlock somebody, then they can unlock their soul. We can't unlock a soul, only God can do that. But we can unlock minds. And once the mind is unlocked, once the intellect is turned on, then comes the discernment, then comes the awakening of the soul, then comes true enlightenment and empowerment. So the globalists seek to make you a bunch of jealous, stunted, weak, backstabbing, gibbering demons. All of us have the lower elements and the higher. We must strive for the higher. Stay with us!"

"Resistance is victory!"

"I recognize you for what you are you filthy trash, and I am here to energize the human spirit and light that fire that will burn your system into a pile of black slag!"

"Stop feeling like you don't have power. Stop feeling pathetic and weak. Break out of your television-induced trance. It starts with a war growl. It starts with getting fired up, staring at yourself in the mirror, and showing some teeth, and saying "I'm a human being. I have dignity. I'm gonna resist. I'm gonna start recognizing the propaganda. I'm gonna break free from it. I'm not gonna fight with my family. I'm gonna organize with my family, and realize we're under attack by the social engineers. And I'm not gonna fight with my neighbors. We're gonna organize. Humanity's gonna come together." Aaahhh! Yaaahhh! We know we're under attack! We know it! We're breaking the conditioning! Yaaahhh! Raaahh! We're coming for ya globalist. Coming for ya! Coming for ya! We know what you're doing! I'm sorry. I just get fired up when I think about what they're doing to us and how I wanna resist them, and how easy they are to defeat. Excuse me. I think my testosterone's going up. This happens every time I start working out a lot again. And I, uh, swam two miles this morning pretty hard, and uh, ate a big fat steak steak last night full of hormones, testosterone, on its own right. So I'm going a little bit wild today, excuse me."

"Scum, Nazi, filth, trash, garbage, maggots. We're all ruled by little chicken-neck nellies, going "Kill everybody! I get off when I talk about cutting people's power off! I'm a nelly!" Raargh! Just simpering control freaks, in big nerd packs, taking everything over, ruling everything. Becoming police officers with weapons, tasering us for fun. I've had it with control freaks and scum! You people are cancer! Ugh! Alright, I'm not in a good mood now. I start thinking about Bill Gates, that little chicken-neck, hopping around, little murdering eugenicist. You know how he walks, like a demonic elf. "I'm Bill Gates! I'm gonna shoot you up with something that's gonna kill you deader than a hammer. How's a 30 year death from gut disease sound, African children? Roll up the sleeves! I'm a little chicken-neck bastard, and nobody's got the will to see what I am!""

"I believe from history and my own gut, instinct, that if I go ahead and lay it all out here, what we're really facing, you've got courage and you've got will, and you're gonna get angry and stop caring. It begins with not caring about what your slack-jawed knuckle-dragging cowardly pseudo tough-guy football-watching neighbor thinks. Okay? That's where it begins. It begins with not caring what happens to your individual person. And when you have that attitude, when you have that attitude, then the enemy doesn't have anything over you anymore. Stop being gelded domesticated garbage. Stop being weak! And when you see a threat coming down on you, deal with it! Become a human again! Stop being weak! We have a bunch of criminals coming down on us. God, ugh! Murdering scum. I wanna get humanity awake. I wanna get our forces up. And I wanna bring these people to justice. And you know what I mean. You know what I mean! I wanna unleash humanity, not have a bunch of con artist pot-bellied chicken-neck pieces of garbage running our world! More importantly they act like effeminate cowardly chicken necks cuz they want to train you to act like that they want to train you to be weak they want to train you. That's a nasty taste coming up in my mouth. Tastin' those globalists. I can taste their fear and their weakness. I taste metal, I taste blood."

"I tell you we're gonna get people awake to you you bastards and we're coming for ya we're coming straight for ya and you know it that's why you're so scared that's why you're moving so fast now, and you just better keep doing that dance, cuz you can feel that flame of rebellion starting to lap up and lick right up there oh yeah oh boy."

"I just get flippant and angry but it's because deep down folks, I can see what they're doing and I have we have a responsibility to stop these globalists. Where are the men in this country? Where are the men in this world? What the hell have we become? We just offer our children up to the system with the fluoride in the water and the GMO hurting em. And we let fat perverts grab them at the airport to train them for the pedophile government. And we've just got such a sick society."

"All the average feds care about is dressing up in black uniforms and having mustaches and staring at people... I know your mustache is cool! You got little gold-framed glasses! You scare me so bad! Ugh... you scum! Scum! ... What's driving me crazy is that photo right there, zoom in on that, it's one of those cops with a black uniform with a mustache. You know that guy is a coward! You know he's a piece of garbage! You know he's weak! Oh! ... Oh, you got a mustache, I'll just worship you. Oh, you got a mustache, it's okay! Ugh, your demonic little mustaches!"

"Chicken-neck weakness is like a god now. And being totally passive, and being a huge jellyfish slacker who looks like a fried egg in a chair. That is the culture of this, okay? The worship of being destroyed. Literally, I've now discovered the secrets of it. ... And everyone's wearing like pink and little green non-threatening, you know, colors, and this is what we face. This is what men look like now, on average. In fact, I used to bash men who were all into being big and muscular with tattoos and black on and going "raagh", now I get it! You don't wanna be like these people! Okay? I used to get mad at guys trying to act tough—no, no! That's good! Do that! In fact, I think I'm gonna just go all out with cut-off sleeves and drive a big fast car and be like "graagh", 'cause I mean I'm starting to get it! Men are running to that, because they see the armies... literally men in pastels... Now there's men everywhere wearing dresses, I'm telling you! It's like, they're just like "New World Order, slaughter me, please!" And the New World Order is like "Act like a jellyfish coward and giggle at all reality", and they're like "Yes, yes!""

"HuAHHHHHHHH MURDER AFRICA! INVASION FORCE! RELEASE US!"

"Hitler took the guns, Stalin took the guns, Mao took the guns, Fidel Castro took the guns, Hugo Chávez took the guns. And I am here to tell you, 1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms! It doesn't matter how many lemmings you get out there on the street begging for them to have their guns taken; we will not relinquish them, do you understand? That's why you're going to fail, and the establishment knows, no matter how much propaganda, the Republic will rise again when you attempt to take our guns!"

"How about Prozac? ... The U.S. number one cause of [unnatural] death is suicide now because they give people suicide mass murder pills. ... I want to get people off pills that the insert says will make you commit suicide and kill people! I want to blame the real culprit—suicide pills! Mass murder pills!"

"Get your shirt off... it's pervert time!"

"I'm telling you folks, nerds are one of the most dangerous groups in this country, because they end up running things. But they still hate everybody, because they weren't the jocks in high school. So they play little dirty games on everybody. They use their brains to hurt people. And I'm aware of them. OK? I see you, you little rats!"

"[in a British accent] Oh, they're so royal! We're lucky to have them coming here. But the rabble undoubtedly will be violent. Scum protesters– Oh, these insane people imagining the helicopters landing and the troops– these insane schizophrenics have come to town. The rabble– I'm so glad– thank God we're elite enough to have them though. I'm so honored. [switches to Cockney accent] Get back there mate! I'll have to have you arrested and have you deported! We're protecting criminals inside, busy stealing our pension funds and overrunning the country with third world populations. Now get back, you Yankee scum! HA HA! To show you the power of the Royal Guard Brigade! And this is the scotch we've been coughing down! Look at that pumpkin-headed Yank! That's the one, Alex Jones! I want you to know, young man, we will be watching you continually while we protect the Transhumanists putting cancer viruses in our children's shots!"

"Hey listen, I'm here to warn people, you keep telling me to shut up! This isn't a game! Okay? Our government, the US, is building FEMA camps. We have an NDAA where they disappear people now. You have this "arrest for public safety", life in prison. It's basically off with their heads, disappear 'em, take 'em away. Infowars dot com. Liberty is rising. Liberty is rising! Freedom will not stop! You will not stop freedom! You will not stop the Republic! Humanity is awakening! Infowars dot com! No, you guys are crazy, thinking that the public's too stupid! You're crazy, thinking the public doesn't know! You're crazy, thinking the public isn't waking up!"

"If I'm in, you know, especially in a poor area, and I see guys walking like they're thugs down the street, I don't care what color they are, I go "That guy looks like they're a thug, and looks like they're tough, okay... If they try to shake me down I'm gonna ignore them and keep walking, and if they come up to me and try to put a hand on me, I'm gonna punch 'em right in the throat. 'Cause I don't wanna jump on top on of 'em and hurt my knees and stuff, when I slam their head in the ground. Plus, I don't wanna kill 'em. 'Cause then I'd have to go to jail and stuff, and they'd have to find that it was done in self defense. Been down that road." So, I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, "Alright. I'm gonna punch this guy in the throat." I'm thinking how hard am I gonna punch him. And I'm not thinking he's a black guy. I'm thinking the guy's walking like a thug, thinks they're tough, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to defend myself. Just like when I've been at the Coast, a few years ago, and walk out of a restaurant in South Padre and they're having a biker rally—and it wasn't like a nice biker rally, most rallies are nice people—it was like thug wannabes, rode up with a motorcycle...and were looking at me, and I was thinking "Okay. Alright. That guy is taking his helmet off. I'm gonna punch him in the throat the minute he tries to get up and do something, and then I'm gonna assault those next three guys. Then they'll probably pull a weapon. I need to take that." I mean, that's what I'm thinking whenever something like that is going on. I can't help it. I'm thinking, "Alright, I'm ready to kill." That's just how I am. And I'm thinking, "Alright. Okay. Instantly assess these guys. These are probably ex-con, real criminals. I've got my three kids here. That gives me, you know, just turbo dinosaur power. And I'm thinking, "Control yourself. Don't have a fight, unless you absolutely got to." You know, the man in me is ready to take all on! and... you know what I'm talking about, don't you? ARGH, you scum! I hate gang members and filth! And it has nothing to do with black people. But I will stump your head in if you start a fight with me, you thug scum! Anyways, excuse me ladies and gentlemen."

"Do you know what goes on at Skull & Bones? I have a family audience, so I can’t say it. They have sexual rituals– some of the most ancient Egyptian rituals– where they believe they are possessed by entities. Basically, space aliens."

"These are people that had gay sex hundreds of times in coffins, begging for spiritual entities to possess them."

"Is that maggot meant to dominate us!? Are we meant to be her slave!?"

"Parasites will be crushed I can taste your weakness crushing crushing crushing."

"It took me about a year with Sandy Hook to come to grips with the fact that the whole thing was fake. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I knew they jumped on it, used the crisis, hyped it up. But then I did deep research and my gosh, it just pretty much didn't happen."

"You’re weak! Your god's weak!""

"What do you think tap water is? It's a gay bomb, baby. And I'm not saying people didn't naturally have homosexual feelings. I'm not even getting into it, quite frankly. I mean, give me a break. Do you think I'm like, oh, shocked by it, so I'm up here bashing it because I don't like gay people? I don't like 'em putting chemicals in the water that turn the freakin' frogs gay! Do you understand that? I'm sick of being social engineered, it's not funny!"

"Even a baby will fight for its life in the womb, won't you fight for your life?! Won't you recognize who these scum are?!"

"I'm angry. I've had enough of these people. They're a bunch of Christian murdering scum that run giant death factories, keeping babies alive, and selling their body parts. What more do you need to know about these people, I go out and face these these scum, they literally crawl out from under rocks, they have green looking skin or they're black or white doesn't matter and they run around screaming we love Satan ... we want to eat babies. I have them on video at the Texas State House just women randomly going hail Satan and praising Satan."

"You baby harvesting demon maggots! I'll never back down I'll never bow to you, I'll be free till the day I stop sucking air into my lungs."

"We’re going to return the republic. We’ll never be perfect but my God we’re not going to keep babies alive and harvest their organs. We’re not going to sell their parts for women’s cosmetics. We’re not gonna have Pepsi with baby flavoring in it. I mean what the Hell have we become. Excuse me but I'm tired of it."

"Bernie wants us to live under the heavenly socialist–communist system like China. We never hear the left criticize that Mao Tse-Tung killed over 80 million people—the Chinese government admits—biggest mass murder in history. That's why there's so many liberal trendy places in Austin, in Denver, in New York, in LA, and San Francisco named after Mao. And people go and love play on their iPhones and the free market and their Chinese slave goods, and they drink beer and expensive wine and giggle about how fun it is to wear red stars. You couldn't put more bad luck on you, you couldn't trash your mojo better. Wearing swastika armbands, you stupid snot-nosed crud! That live off the backs of everybody that fought Nazism and Communism. You need to have your jaws broken! Don't you worry, reality is gonna crash in on you, trash! Who lowered our defenses and brought the Republic down; oh, we're already gone! And you celebrate it like you've joined the globalists mounting America's head on the wall, your great victory! A mass rape of women across Europe. The national draft coming in for women! The families falling apart! Women degraded into nothing but sexual objects! ALL in the name of Gloria Steinem and the Central Intelligence Agency program! And a Bernie Sanders with his fake Einstein hair, and his 'I'm a man of the people!' We go out and talk to Bernie Sanders' supporters, they can hardly talk—they're like him—'Free! Free! I want free stuff!' As if the New World Order is gonna give you anything free! Oh, it's free like a piece of cheese. And a little mouse comes out and it smells it and goes to bite it and, wa bam! Breaks your neck. But you're stupider than the little mouse. You can see all the countries and all the people caught in the mouse traps, caught in the big bear traps. You know what you do? You go into a trendy shop. On some capitalist strip. And you go in and you snuggle in with that credit card that daddy put money in for the trust fund. And you put on that little fur-rimmed coat and you're all sexy with your hammer and sickle on, and your Che Guevara and, you know, shirt from Rage Against the Machine, and the whole capitalist record company system selling it to you, and you go out on the street and you walk into McDonald's and you have yourself a double latte, oh yeah. Pathetic! Scum! Oh, how you'll burn in the camps, later. Wishing you had done something; I mean, you are the ultimate chumps, the ultimate buffoons, the ultimate schmucks! ... But the public had so much freedom! They were so wealthy, even our poorest, they had no idea that what they were replacing it with was abject slavery."

"Imagine you live in a world that's totally plastic. Who are your enemies, if you're evil? The Patriots. We are the future. We are the leaders. We are 1776! We are those that were given the mantle and the birthright by George freakin Washington and Thomas Jefferson. They've taught you to not know who they are, or hate them. No, they were renowned around the world. George Washington for weeks had dysentery and lost about a third of his weight and climbed around in freezing ice with his men where they would go on marches at night and they'd lose 10-15 people just in one battalion freezing to death to at dawn battle the Germans three to one in places like Trenton, in 30 below temperatures and 20+ mile marches, in the dark, with men dying all around them, and George Washington, with diarrhea running out of his pants, on top of that horse, marching to kick ass! marching not to give up! Taking action! That's who we come from! And we let all these hunchback scum rule us - I will never submit to you! And the human spirit is rising! You will not turn us into animals! You will not poison us anymore! - You will not kill us! Our spirit transcends all you've done to us!"

"It’s the Devil. The churches aren’t going to tell you. It is an alien force, not of this world, attacking humanity like the Bible and every ancient text says, and you can read the Bible, it’s hiding in plain view. It’s not of this world. And I don’t know exactly what it is or what it’s doing, but this is not human intelligence, OK? It'S not human intelligence w're facing! I refuse to fight with everybody. All the stupid racist white people, all the stupid racist black people, all the stupid racist Mexicans. All of you. I can't stand you, you're idiots. We're under attack. Everybody's under attack. The elite hate Trump. Let me tell you, if he is a psy-op, he is the most sophisticated one I ever saw. And even if he is, he is a revelation of the awakening and they have to pull this trick to try to divert us. It doesn’t matter, it’s part of the awakening. Humanity has got to get off-world. We need access to the life-extension technologies. Talk about discrimination, forget skin color. I want the advanced life-extension! I want to go to space! I want to see interdimensional travel! I want what God promised us and I won’t sit here and watch Satan steal it! That’s the fight! That’s the key! That’s everything!"

"The total arrogance with a shit-eating grin of a pseudo-intellectual constitutional rapist. This man is literally mounting America, raping it in the ass, and telling us how great he is. George Will you area discredited fop. Put down your thesaurus look in the mirror, realize you're a traitor, and do the right thing, and put a .357 Magnum to your head, and blow what's little left of your brains all over yourself, OK? You traitor, you Benedict Arnold, you piece of filth."

"What do I do, Lord? [in a demonic voice] Destroy the child. Corrupt them all. This is their plan people, these are demons. Just like the Bible says, basically an intergalactic invasion into this space through people. I-I-I'm telling you, it's what the ancients said, it's what they warned of, it's what we're dealing with. They're demons. They're freaking interdimensional invaders. Okay, I'll just say it. Make fun of me all you want on CNN or whatever, but everyone already innately knows this. These people are not freaking humans, okay?! Hillary Clinton is a goddamn demon!"

"All I know is, whether they're interdimensional demons, whatever they are-... Let's just say that's an allegory, all I know is it's the same thing. Psychopaths operate, they're not human, I don't like them. Okay?! And my very humanity just is like *Raaaaaaa take em on, you wanna fight? You're gonna get one-* .. You.. You inhuman soulless pieces of trash. I see you real good. And I know our species is stronger than you and better than you, we're gonna beat your ass. Get that through your head."

"I never expected Trump charging into a goblin’s nest to not get some goblin vomit and schlop and blood on him. I just don’t want to catch him in bed with a goblin. But if he’s in there rolling around hacking ‘em up and he’s got a goblin guide, y’know, taking him into the cave, I’m not expecting him to not get dirty, especially up to his ankles. I don't want to see him kissing goblins, having political succubus with goblins, I don't want to see him ingratiating goblins...""

"You're a big fat bully scumbag! And i don't like you!"

"I'm a pioneer, I'm an explorer, I'm a human, and I'm coming. I'm animated, I'm alive, my heart's big, it's got hot blood going through it fast. I like to fight, too! I like to eat! I like to have children! I'm here! I've got a life force: This is a human, this is what we look like, this is what we act like, this what everybody was like before us, this is what I am, I'm a throwback. I'm here! I've got the fire of human liberty! I'm setting fires everywhere, and humans are turning on everywhere."

"It is surreal to talk about issues, here on air, and then word-for-word hear Trump say it two days later."

"Sometimes the vulgoth, the vulgar, the barbarian way is the way to say it... I want to say something, I'm a lover. And that's why I'm a fighter. And I love my family and I love justice so much I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stop you. And I hate your stinking guts, I can smell you from a thousand miles away, and you smell like failure, you smell like hell, and I want to thank the God of the Universe that I'm not with these people I, oh, I get tears in my eyes to GOD that I'm thankful everyday that I don't come from filth like you that want to trample on humanity, thank God I'm not a degenerate filthy vampire like you. And I guess in the final equation, as upset as I get watching you hurt the innocent; that's what matters is that you'll never, defeat the human spirit! You'll never defeat God! You'll never win! Never! Never Ever! Never! And the spirit of humanity is rising and it is gonna defeat you. You think you're strong? You think you're scary? You try to mimic what you can only imagine in your mind is God's Wrath and God's Wrath coming for you and you deserve everything that happens to you trash... ...the reason the enemy's so mad is he knows he's a loser... ...But God gave us free will and this animating contest! And this is where we get tested, so rejoice to God almighty for this animating contest of liberty! Aaaaaaggnngghhhuuugghhh."

"The West is only a destabilization program right now. We aren’t to that point yet, but in Sweden and Germany and France they’re putting ads on saying, “You are demoralized. You are dead. You are over. Give up to the hijab. Give up to Muhammad and Allah! Allah Akbar! We’re gonna stab your daughter at the mall! We’re gonna to stab your wife, your son, we’re gonna stab you with a butcher knife!” And then the police chief is going to get up and say, “We love our Somalis. We love our Muslims. Oh they’re so good. Oh they’re so sweet.”"

"Millions are pouring in people, of the very worst type that kill each other. Do you understand it’s an attack? It’s red level! It doesn’t matter now. You’ve got to choose sides at this point. The globalists have overrun us,”"

"I will go to hell before I sit here and watch this country and the world turned over to these savages! I'm done, I'm pissed, and I'm not putting up with it anymore! Let me tell you something, you filthy traitors in the government, you pieces of crap. You are the most degenerate, twisted, mentally ill people I've ever seen, wanting to gang-rape this Republic and this country and the West that has been the literal cornerstone, the absolute jewel in the crown of free Western Renaissance societies and the very best literature, music, technology, science, medicine, culture the world's ever seen! You Satanists wanna to sacrifice the West! You wanna to kill the beautiful goddess that is the West! You people are enemies, and we're going to get your asses, and we know what you're up to, and we're coming for you!"

"Let me tell all the scum and all the leftists: you’re going to lose all of your jobs soon. The whole mainstream media is dying. We’re going to be in a huge Depression. You’re going to be living in your mothers’ basements. And I hope your little fake liberal culture you’ve got that’s totally fascist and Satanic — I hope it keeps you warm at night because that’s all you’re going to have, and it’s all you’re ever going to have. Okay? I just hope you understand that."

"We have scored a direct stab in those sons of bitches' hearts! We gotta 'er keep runnin' the knife in though folks, gotta keep runnin' it in there, not worrying if they're doing dodges just raarrrgghh!. You want the fight!? You're getting it! You wanted to overrun us, and poison us, and take our families, and kill us!? You will die, not us! You anti-human crap!"

"The age of cowardice is coming is an end. The age of men will return."

"I'm never a lesser of two evils person, but with Hillary, there's not even the same universe. She is an abject, psychopathic, demon from Hell that as soon as she gets into power is going to try to destroy the planet. I'm sure of that, and people around her say she's so dark now, and so evil, and so possessed that they are having nightmares, they're freaking out. Folks let me just tell you something, and if media wants to go with this, that's fine. There are dozens of videos and photos of Obama having flies land on him, indoors, at all times of year, and he'll be next to a hundred people and no one has flies on them. Hillary, reportedly, I mean, I was told by people around her that they think she's demon-possessed, okay? I'm just going to go ahead and say it, okay? They said that they're scared. That's why when I see her when kids are by her, I actually get scared myself, with a child -- with that big rubber face and that -- I mean this woman is dangerous, ladies and gentleman. I'm telling you, she is a demon. This is Biblical. She's going to launch a nuclear war. The Russians are scared of her."

""She sleeps in the same room with that creepy weirdo woman, Huma Abedin who's mother wears a hood over her head and writes top articles in the world, promoting cutting women's genitals off what the hell? That woman, number ones ugly, and evil, but but imagine if your like "Oh what does your mom do?" "Oh shes a top genital mutilation pusher, I'd be like ewwww, get the hell away from me, yeah but Hillarys into like creepy weird sick stuff man, just disgusting with flies all over her big fat stinking. Imagine how bad she smells, man? I'm told her and Obama, just stink, stink, stink, stink. You can't wash that evil off, man. Told there's a rotten smell around Hillary. I'm not kidding, people say, they say -- folks, I've been told this by high up folks. They say listen, Obama and Hillary both smell like sulfur. I never said this because the media will go crazy with it, but I've talked to people that are in protective details, they're scared of her. And they say listen, she's a frickin' demon and she stinks and so does Obama. I go, like what? Sulfur. They smell like Hell."

"The animated contest of liberty is waiting for you, but you’ve got to take it in your hands. You’ve got to have a will to accept the truth and buck the system and the group collective. Do that and you’ll earn your way to the next level. This is the info war."

"Aaaeeh aaah murder the Christians reeeeuhhhh destroy everything just rughhh... I mean you know this drunk is bleeeugh but still stumbling forwards, more blood loeooaoohh as she falls down, they go our God must be lifted back up guuagh aeeeeeghehhah more blood of the innocent hahahaha sell the baby parts, arrest the reporters that expose we're keeping babies alive, heat the hospitals with their bodies, have the Pepsi taste testing systems be based on fetal tissue all demonic systems, genetically engineer all the crops, overthrow creation, more blood, oaohhgahgh loeooogh. That's Hillary."

"A coup de grâce. a götterdämmerung battle. oh its a twilight of the gods alright, these would-be gods of the new world order. they're no gods at all. ragnarök."

"I came knocking on your door a million times, and you laughed at me. You've been in love with something else your whole life, and this is a love-affair. And so, I'm not gonna get in bed with you. Because you don't love the spirit of justice. You loved your father, the Devil. You loved death. More than life. So you go with your father forever. And that's hell - separation from god. You go."

"Sandy Hook is a synthetic completely fake with actors, in my view, manufactured. I couldn't believe it at first. I knew they had actors there, clearly, but I thought they killed some real kids. And it just shows how bold they are, that they clearly used actors."

"When I think about all the children Hillary Clinton has personally murdered and chopped up and raped, I have zero fear standing up against her. Yeah, you heard me right. Hillary Clinton has personally murdered children. I just can't hold back the truth anymore. Hillary Clinton is one of the most vicious serial killers the planet's ever seen."

"In fact, let me say this right now. Let me tell -- I’m not against gay people. OK. I love them, they’re great folks. But Schiff looks like the archetypal cocksucker with those little deer-in-the-headlight eyes and all his stuff. And there’s something about this fairy, hopping around, bossing everybody around, trying to intimidate people like me and you, I want to tell Congressman Schiff and all the rest of them, “Hey listen asshole, quit saying Roger and I” -- and I’ve never used cussing in 22 years but the gloves are off -- “listen you son of a bitch, what the fuck’s your problem? You want to sit here and say that I’m a goddamn, fucking Russian. You get in my face with that I’ll beat your goddamn ass, you son of a bitch. You piece of shit. You fucking goddamn fucker. Listen fuckhead, you have fucking crossed a line. Get that through your goddamn fucking head. Stop pushing your shit. You’re the people that have fucked this country over and gangraped the shit out of it and lost an election. So stop shooting your mouth off claiming I’m the enemy. You got that you goddamn son of a bitch? Fill your hand.” I’m sorry, but I’m done. You start calling me a foreign agent, those are fucking fighting words. Excuse me."

"He’s sucking globalist dick."

"It's over for the globalist. Break the conditioning now!"

"Whatever they do to me, I'm a man. I'm not sittin' up here like I'm the biggest badass around, but you punch me and I'ma punch back (subdued snarling). And I can sit back and tell you my family name is secured, and I've done the job I'm supposed to do. It's not some power trip, it's just who I am. I look at Stephanopoulos and all these sacks of shit, sittin' there telling us they're gonna leave the country. Listen you son of a bitch. You're scared this country's gon' throw your carpetbaggin' ass out. I see you, you little bloodthirsty maggot. Whatever happens to me I just pray to God you get brought real low. Real low. For what you've done you little son of a bitch. So you understand one thing. There's a real world out there. There's a real God there's a real Devil. For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. And I want all the little men to know somethin'. You were brought up as pieces of shit. And you thought you could dominate everybody 'cause you were so insecure. And you thought people that were better than you were bad because they were better than you, and they were building a stairway to heaven for you. And so now you've started fights with people, that are gonna break every bone in your body. So when you have metaphysically have had you sternum broken and your ribs broken, and your little neck... Strung up. You remember. You ran into real men. And we kicked your ass."

"God! These people are so evil! Why can’t America wake up and beat ‘em! Donald Trump’s not perfect but he doesn’t wanna hurt you and your family. “Hillary and Obama want to make you poor and pathetic! We have all their white papers! “They hate you! They hate prosperity! They hate God! They hate children! And god damn them to hell! We’re going to find the lever to beat these people, and they’re gonna be beat! Look at her shark face! Having to look at her with her demon face! [shouts] That’s a freakin’ demon! [shouting] “We’re gonna have President Linda Blair people! [screams] And I’m not gonna go along with it!”"

"I don't wanna swim around in your piss. I go to the bathroom to piss."

"I'm civilized, I don't take a crap in the pool."

"I can’t go to Houston without them come after my genitals, eh the TSA perv"

"We're turning into a bunch of self-centered walking dead trash… and we're such zombies! We're such self-centered crap that we don't even notice Hell itself rising up against us."

"It's the same story, over and over again! The same dependency, the same slugism, that we see mirrored all around us. Hated by the people, we build! Hated by the people we empower! Hated by the people we've given life to! How do you think God feels!?...they they think they're all in competition with me and all this crap. I'm not in competition with any of you people! I'm in competition with the Devil! I'm in a death battle! And now you see the enemy say they'rein a death battle, they know they're in a death battle, only the spirit, of knowing you're in a death battle will have you win! I don't know how all this is gonna end, but like I've told 'em a thousand times, you wanna fight, better believe you got one. You want to enslave my spirit, no! And I'll call on God to protect me, and use me however God sees fit. And if I'm destroyed my whole family with it, I don't blame God. I blame the stinkin' trash. Who will pay. Now. And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night forever and ever. Tormented by their own spirit."

"Well I've got news for them. You don't run the show. And you don't run the heavens and you don't even run humanity. And everything they build against us, is going to be used against you, and it's going to be, directly responsible for your downfall, and that's why you hate me, because you know, that I speak the truth. And you that this flesh isn't pure. But my spirit is, and means everything I say. I see you. Every. Horrible. Part of you. Every facet. Every surface, every little deep thought"

"Listen bitches, you may force feed Eddie Bravo a bunch of CNN - Fox News shit every morning, but you're fucking getting The Joe Rogan experience up your fucking ass."

"As giant third world hordes just pour in, raping everyone just reaghhhhhh, reaghhhh! Just sexualizing our children, ruling everything, debasing the currency, drugging the food and water giving everyone cancer and just dancing to their god of death, selling body parts, chopping up babies that battle the scalpel. I mean it's just... it's just on Hell on Earth, the gates are opening. And out will flood the armies..."

"You want a war? You better believe you got one!"

"There are real people. There are people that ain't out to get you and your family. There's real people ready to fight! And all you scumbag pedophiles the rest of ya, you wanna fight!? Get ready, you're gonna get it assholes!...turning loose on 'em!"

"Fuck you, Zuckerberg! Fuck you!"

"Clarence Thomas was called in -- and everybody knows, because he was the only other conservative guy and they killed the other one -- he was told, “It’s all over. Shut up. It’s over.” They threatened him. And Thomas wanted to leave the country. They threatened his life. And I didn’t get that from Drudge, so I’m not going to have a source. I got it from two other people. They told Clarence Thomas, “We’ll kill your ass, OK? Shut your fucking mouth and stop ruling like this or you’re going to be dead.” And then they killed the other guy, Scalia, because he wouldn’t go along with it. That’s the fucking shit we’re dealing with, people!"

"All across the world, humanity knows you’re the enemy. We’re gonna get you assholes, just know that. It doesn’t mean we’re perfect but we’re not out to screw women and children and hurt people. You understand that, assholes? You hate humanity because you project your own hatred of yourself on us, assholes. You want to kill us, how about you die?! Kill your fucking selves you fucking globalists!… Fuck yeah, fuck them! I’m sick of their shit, I don’t fucking care anymore!"

"You God damned cowardly pieces of chicken neck filth. I'm going to sue your ass into hell, get ready!""

"Alec Baldwin thinks he is a tough guy, I challenge him a million dollars to the charity he wants to get in the ring with me, bare knuckle. I will, I'll do it right now. I'll get in the ring with you and I will break your jaw, I will knock your teeth out, I will break your nose, and I will break your neck. You coward, you think you're tough guy, messing with little cameramen people. You want to sit there and defame me and the president? Get in the ring with me, I will break your jaw in seconds. I will smash your nose into a bloody pulp, and I will whack your teeth out. My fists are going to bleeding with your teeth marks all over em. You frickin' bully, you coward. I hate you, my listeners hate you and remember that, scumbag, forever. Heh heh heh heh. We're going to defeat this anti-human scum, we're going to wreck their world."

"Out of the sewer, literal vampire pot bellied goblins are hobbling around coming after us!"

"You're supposed to get on your knees at midnight or in the early morning and tell God you repent on things you've done. You don't tell in a football stadium, “Mainstream media: you're my God, I am bad, tell me what to do.” That is sick.They're kneeling to political correctness and hating white people. They're kneeling to white genocide --- and then I don't want anybody to be genocided (sic). But everywhere it's: “Kill the whites, kill the whites.” The universities: “No whites can come on campus.” It's a bunch of weird white people going, “We need to kill all the white people.” Just everywhere. Hillary: “We lost because of white people.” It's the most racist, weird, anti-Martin Luther King crap I've ever heard. Martin Luther King would say, “You people are crazy.”"

"​​Most of the so-called liberal lesbians and all these groups, they just want to have the guy with the duck's ass haircut and the James Dean outfit. The truth is, James Dean wasn't slapping girls around, but they want to be the ones slapping the girls around. And statistically, it shows it. I'm not blaming all lesbians, but it shows that most of these butch lesbians, they want to be the guy smacking the hot chick around. They think that's manly. And a lot of the chicks, they like it. See, because no man will do that to them. And I'm not saying it's good if a man does that, but some women like it. And if they can't find a man to smack them around, well they found them a girl going to do it real good. Knock them upside their head, and have 50 Shades of Gray about the sexy rich guy that's going to chain you up. Of course, you're going to get chained up one time. They're going to put that devil mask or that piggy mask on. They're going to say, "Now I'm going to torture you for about six weeks, so start begging for your mommy and your daddy." That's the liberals. They want to get you in a dungeon. They want to strap you down and take a buzzsaw and cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin and pull it off and get a little spoon and go -- when you're looking in the mirror, this is one thing I know they like to do -- and they go, I'm going to eat your brain now. Let's start -- let's start at the side areas here, because we don't want to take away your sight at the back or your thinking in the front. I'm going to eat your cerebral cortex last, because I've got power. I love Satan, and I'm going to suck you dry, and I'm going to torture you to death."

"What is that joke? What is that? What IS that? What is Hitler? What is Stalin? What is Mao? What is ALL this stuff? What is Venezuela?"

"But just look at [Brian] Stelter again. Put him on screen. I think that's all the broadcast should be, is just a photo of Stelter smiling. Ugh. Ugh. Oh my gosh. Oh, hell on earth. He wants to run your life. He wants to control every aspect of your life because he knows he is a cowardly degenerate sack of anti-human trash. I pledge before my heavenly father that I will resist them every way I can. These people are the literal demon spawn of the pit of hell. Look at him. And you know what, he is better than you if you keep letting him run your life. He runs your kids, he runs the schools, he runs the banks. This guy, this spirit, this smiling, leering devil that thinks you can’t see what he is. He is your enemy. Period. All the narcissistic devil-worshiping filth. I see you enemy. I see you enemy. Enemy. Enemy. You are my enemy. And I swear total resistance to you with everything I’ve got. Disingenuous, fake, false, brokeback, twisted, a defiler, a betrayer, a back stabber, a devil. You will pay. Yeah, you don’t think I see your face, scum? You don’t think I don’t see you, Stelter? I see you, you understand me? I know what you think of me and my family. I see you right back. You understand that? You understand that, Stelter? [Grunting noises] Stelter. You will fall. You will not bring humanity down. God is going to destroy you. Get him off the screen. [Crying] Oh, God, they’re so evil. Just please God, free us from them. They’re drunk on our children's blood for God's sake."

"Hitler took the guns. Stalin took the guns. Mao took the guns. You know, 'political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.' And then if another crazy person everybody knew was going to attack goes and kills some people and then I'm to blame and all gun owners are to blame? Well, if somebody runs somebody with a car are they all to blame? Or somebody with a baseball bat? This is common sense and you've got a young high school senior teenager cussing to get attention to pull a stunt but none of use are supposed to talk about it because if you respond to him calling you a piece of this or a piece of that or his cohorts calling Dana Loesch a murderer and people are chanting 'burn her', well then you're a bully. That's why CNN wants to use this to kill the First Amendment, not just the Second Amendment! You have YouTube banning videos with guns, with citizens having guns or showing guns, but Hollywood and the video game makers can show all the guns they want. This is an incredibly discriminatory system!"

"I will not be stopped. Because I get on my knees and beg for something particularly, I don’t get it. But I’m not in a coma, got that? I’m not in one. I’m going to stop that Nazi piece of crap, and you’re going to stop him, and he hates our guts. Well, we’re coming for you—you got it?"

"Donald Trump shit his fucking pants at the fucking moment of truth and shit all over everybody. That’s my first approximation. I’m not in a fucking cult for Donald Trump. Fuck him. Fuck his family. Fuck all these people."

"God fucking damn it, man. What the fuck? Is there nobody fucking pure in this goddamn fucking world? See, I’m fucking pissed right now. Syria fought Al Qaeda, they fought ISIS, they fought it all, and now you’ve got [James] Mattis and fucking all these people shitting all over us."

"They said if you just turn against Trump it would be better, but he was doing good, and that's what makes it so bad... If he had been a piece a crap from the beginning, it wouldn't be so bad. But we made so many sacrifices. And now he's crapping all over us."

""There's no video of president Trump sucking a ding dong. And so what if there was, that's a lot better than World War III Owen. I never sucked any ding dongs, but I'll tell ya if they were going to black mail me to start World War III about one, I'd say hey, I sucked a ball golf ball through a frickin garden hose!"

"I like women, not men! And if I liked men, I’d be proud of it and have a lot of em. But I ain’t never been in bed with no man. I’ve been in bed with probably 300 women."

"Ben Shapiro is the herpes on our ass."

"Yes, our kids belong to you, boys are out of Boy Scouts, no more father and mother, yes, yes, yes. Whatever you say, Hillary. Whatever you say Pelosi. Whatever you say Shapiro. Yes, Mr. Shapiro. Oh god you're so manly! That face you make, you scare me! God Almighty, you might tear my arm out of my socket! You might skull annihilate me, you're powerful! You've got the manhood I want, Shapiro! Sorry, go ahead, Rodger. Roger! Shapiro's too powerful!"

"(in Bernie Sanders's voice) I bankrupt stuff, I live in three millon dollar houses drive hundred thousand dollar cars And www-white people ddon't know what is like to be poor! Look at me, I have Einstein looking hair! Its called a gimmick!"

"I'm ready to kill people, I'm sick of this. Not literally. The point is I'm getting sick of this crap. Let's just give all our kids to the child molesters, goddammit! Excuse me. You know, I'm not saying Lord's name in vain, I want these people damned to hell! I'm literally praying, God, damn them to Hell! That's not the Lord's name in vain! I mean that! I don't take God in vain [sic] but we ought to have a prayer called the Goddamnit Prayer! God damn them to hell, please! You think Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes, when he realizes this is Earth and all his family died 10,000 years before and he's come back through a wormhole, and everybody he knows is dead and he's saying, God damn them to Hell! You bastards! You blew it all up! God damn you! He's not taking lords name in vein! He's saying God damn them! God damn them! God damn them! God fucking damn them to Hell!"

"Look, here's the thing, I'm gonna be honest with you: I- I'm kinda retarded."

"He says, 'Alex Jones and the white supremests are saying go to the people's houses and kill the parents, and we have to take him off the air because he says kill the parents, there's no free speech for killing parents' and I'm like 'dude, do not say that, I'm gonna get killed.' I mean, I've never said nobody died at Parkland, and I sure as hell didn't say, 'Kill their parents.'"

"And you've got a lot of people saying let's not topple the dictatorship in Venezuela even though it threatened the US and other countries and is collapsing and the people are begging don't do it and I tend not to want regime change where we overthrow some ally like Egypt and put someone like ISIS or Al Qaeda in, or do we stand by and let an thousand plus people starve and cause a collapse into the US border which the UN is helping to foment? That's a real territorial threat. That's a real national emergency. That's first year geopolitics for you here is where I may be right. I may not want intervention in Venezuela."

"I mean, how do I get a fair trial with stuff like this? I’ve never said this guy's name. Never said his name, until now. And obviously first it’s "we don’t know, he’s got gunshot wounds or whatever." Now it’s, well, apparent suicide. I mean, is there going to be a police investigation? Are they going to look at the surveillance cameras? I mean, what happened to this guy? This whole Sandy Hook thing is, like, really getting even crazier. We have no idea whether he was even murdered at this point. Why would some anti-gun guy do this? This is really sad. My prayers go out to him and his family and we wish for the truth of whatever really happened here to come out. We don't know yet. And we'll see the corporate media say outrageous lies, but it's what they do. And look, the good news of no collusion, the good news that I'm not a Russian agent comes out, and now this happens right on time. Just amazing."

"You think when you call up, “Oh we’ll protect you. We found the child porn.” I like women with big giant tits and big asses. I don’t like kids like you goddamn rapists. Eff-heads. In fact, delete this: you fucks are going to get it. You fucking child molesters. I’ll fucking get you in the end. You fucks. Now, we’re done right there. I know I, I know, I should have deleted it on radio. Probably still went out. I don’t care. You’re trying to set me up with child porn, i'm gonna get your ass. One million dollars, one million dollars, you little gang members. One million dollars to put your head on a pike. One million dollars, bitch. I’m gonna get your ass, you understand me now? You’re not going to ever defeat Texas, you sacks of shit, so you get ready for that…….And then now magically they want metadata out of hundreds of thousands of emails they got, and they know right where to go. What a nice group of Democrats. How surprising. What nice people. Chris Mattei. Chris Mattei. Let’s zoom in on Chris Mattei. Oh, nice little Chris—[pounds picture of Attorney Mattei’s face with fist]—Mattei. What a good American. What a good boy. You think you’ll put on me, what—[under his breath] I’m gonna kill.... [growls]. Anyway, I’m done! Total war! You want it, you got it! I’m not into kids like your Democratic party, you cocksuckers! So get ready!"

"Do you think I’d roll over and spray crap out my ass and show my belly and piss on myself and bow down to you? You just summoned war. So get ready. And I’m just asking the Pentagon and the patriots that are left and 4Chan and 8Chan and Anonymous and anybody that’s a patriot. I am under attack. And if they bring me down, they’ll bring you down. I just have faith in you. I’m under attack. And I summon the meme war, I summon it all against the enemy. I will never sell out to these people."

"You've chosen the path of pain!"

"I'll admit it. I will eat my neighbors. I'm not letting my kids die. I'm just going to be honest. My superpower is being honest. I've extrapolated this out and I won't have to for a few years 'cause I got food and stuff, but I'm literally looking at my neighbors now and going: I'm ready to hang them up and gut them and skin them and chop them up, you know what? I'm ready. My daughters aren't starving to death, I'll eat my neighbors. See, my superpower is being honest, I'll eat your ass. I will! I'm combat model, optimal self-sufficiency, probably the leader. The point is have you thought about that yet because I'm somebody that thought he could fix this and I'm starting to think about having to eat my neighbors. You think I like sizing up my neighbor, how I gonna haul him up by a chain and chop his ass up? I'll do it! My children aren't going hungry! I will eat your ass! And that's why I why the globalists to know, I will eat your ass first. You're not we're gonna dig you out of those bunkers, we're gonna dig you out of those holes, you make us eat up let me tell you something right now: I swear to God if it's the last thing I do I'm gonna get my hands around your throat and you know that's why you're begging for peace right now. You should've thought about that when you turned down Christ a long time ago. You wanna meet with me you Satanist!? Meet with me!? How about you get on your knees to Christ, you meet with my boss right now! But you can't do it. You think you can meet with some low-level nobody? I'm nobody! You think Christ would eat somebody? He would never do that. I will. I'm not gonna watch my daughters starve to death. Now you could say that was a metaphysical hypothetical but it's really not. Let's just get past the jokes here. Every actuary and government study from South Africa to the United States to Germany to Russia to Japan to South America shows in about 7 days almost everyone commits murder for food. Within 14 days almost everyone resorts to cannibalism or commits suicide. Now I would commit suicide before I did that, but my children are my weak place. I'll barbecue your ass flat. I will eat you! So all you spirit cookers act all tough all day, how you're doing your little satanic rituals drinking blood and stuff, I'll drink you blood! You understand that? I will, I will hang your ass up and cut you into cutlets like a filet mignon and grill your ass before I watch my daughters starve to death. See now you took society and civilization as it was some joke you could piss on all day. Didn't you understand you unleash the animal? Once you unleash the beast! And you're not the beast! I don't claim I'm the most tough guy around, but compared to you I, compared to you, I'm Godzilla on steroids! But just for the courts and everything I'm joking around here, I'm not going to eat anybody. Just like I said if it'd came down to me alone I'd starve to death before I did it. When my babies come into the equation, I will cook your ass up so fast, and I tell 'em: Oh, I killed a cow out back baby, here it is because my babies ain't gonna die for your crap, your failure. I will eat your leftist ass like corn on the cob! I'm ready! You wanna worship Satan, well guess what!? You're about to meet something worse, you dumb sacks of crap! You been pissing on civilization your whole life not knowing it's men held it up. It was savages held it up, because we knew how bad we were and we didn't want you to let us loose. But now you demand we pull the fist out and just shove it into your teeth. So good! Before I'll sit there and live off starving Latin Americans and Africans I swear before God, I'll eat one of these globalists on a spit! Oh, I'm a performance artist like they say. Alex Jones isn't real. Everybody knows I'm as fake as they come."

"We are in charge of this planet, Not the globalists and not their machines. To the Jeff Bezos, and all the globalist technocrats, and Tim Cook, and their slave camps in China, and all their evil they try to cover up with Black Lives Matter, Marxism, and the cop-killing, I say to you, ‘Your technocracy is dead on arrival.’ You understand that? We are in charge of the planet! Not Soros and not Satan! Do you Understand that Soros! You pathetic maggot! We're in charge not you, is that clear? Is that clear? You little maggot and your little maggot son! You understand that? You think you're going to have this fight and have robots winning? No! We'll defeat you and your god damn robots. You understand that? Damn you to hell, Satanist!"

"It is all over, we are about to be hit with nuclear weapons, the military stood down, everything is gone. So, I'm sorry, it is over. The country is gone, it is all over. I mean I'm not give up, I'm admitting the Death Star is orbiting the planet at maximum velocity. If we don't stop the globalists, if they aren't stopped, it is over. You think they just steal elections for no reason? You think they are saying veterans are terrorists for no reason? You think they are saying all white men are terrorists? Under this Chinese regime they are going to take all white men for reeducation, and then it will be every other group after that, because they know that white men, coming from a Scottish, Irish, English tradition, even the continent of Europe didn't get free until about a hundred fifty years ago. The German's were still serfs a hundred and fifty years ago, slaves, in the Austrian-Hungarian Empire, they were under a king. Military service, the Prussians were owned men, Prussians were sold as mercenaries. So, we had a bunch of wars in the British Isles over tribalism and who ran things and that grew into our system of freedom, that's where it all came from folks, it all comes out of England, it all comes out of Scotland, it all comes out of Ireland, that is where all the freedom comes from. Mainly England."

"The lights are home but nobody’s home."

"At least you're going to get some good Republicans elected, and we like you. But, my God, maybe you're not that bright. Maybe Trump's actually a dumbass."

"Authoritarians always blame whole groups. That's what the Left does, they're sick and they're evil."

"They're attempting to stop us here before this very important mission is launched. And that mission is taking place in the third heaven."

"When I say the Chinese are a inbred super mutant class that's in the genetics, and again remember, calling someone a mutant is not a bad thing, the X-Men and all that, which are fictional, but you know like it's good to be a mutant you understand, and the point is the Chinese do have some super geniuses of people. The point is you go to China and your like, 'well damn all these people look exactly the same like clones or something' kay, so the issue is there isn't a lot of genetic diversity."

"We gotta start building communities during the collapse and just say no satan worshipers allowed. Under the first amendment we can form churches that allow us to be only be amongst our own people of any race and creed but only Christians. We're going to have to declare it folks, and 100% just get with Christians. You're either going to be a Christian or you're going to be with the devil, that is the way it will be soon."

"I'll show you Muslims mass murdering black people and I'm not trying to attack the Muslims here, I'm just gonna show you what everybody is doing. Israel is doing a lot of bad stuff too, but just understand bringing in the Muslims, infact that is something I didn't get to, Israel wants to bring them here, I don't hate Israel, but you just take that rattlesnake, okay. I'm really mad about this, okay, this is a line in the sand, okay. You keep your little precious Muslims, alright."

"India was once twice the size it is today. Islamic forces have come very close to taking over whats left. Finally, under Modi India has woken up and is fighting for its very survival."

"Trump has got great genetics. He's tough and if he takes care of himself, he can make it through these years and then after. But, if he doesn't, he's gonna have. I predict Trump is going to have some type of collapse within the next 12 months of current trajectory. I'm not saying he's gonna collapse. I'm saying if he doesn't take his foot off the gas pedal ... if I had Trump's job at 51 for a month, I would have a nervous breakup."

"Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down."

"This is the Alex Jones problem, Alex Jones is a very smart man with a lot of information at his disposal, however, sometimes he doesn't have the answer so he makes some shit up."

"Jo wanted to be pumped up before she went on to do a scene, she asked me to slap her... They did the scene over and over, never quite right. Every time she came over to me and asked me to hit her, and hit her harder."

"On working with in Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957); as quoted in Halliwell's Who's Who in the Movies (2003) by Leslie Halliwell (ed. John Walker), p. 468"

"As actors it is easy for us to play the hero. We get to fight the bad guys and stand up for justice. In real life, the choices are not always so clear. The Hollywood Blacklist, recreated powerfully on screen in Trumbo, was a time I remember well. The choices were hard. The consequences were painful and very real. During the blacklist, I had friends who went into exile when no one would hire them; actors who committed suicide in despair. My young co-star in Detective Story (1951), Lee Grant, was unable to work for twelve years after she refused to testify against her husband before the House Un-American Activities Committee. I was threatened that using a Blacklisted writer for Spartacus –– my friend Dalton Trumbo — would mark me as a “Commie-lover” and end my career. There are times when one has to stand up for principle. I am so proud of my fellow actors who use their public influence to speak out against injustice. At 98 years old, I have learned one lesson from history: It very often repeats itself. I hope that Trumbo, a fine film, will remind all of us that the Blacklist was a terrible time in our country, but that we must learn from it so that it will never happen again."

"The foreign directors are always fumbling about in obscurity, and the critics are always writing about the juxtaposition of black and white and the existential dilemma and all that shit, to disguise the fact that they don't understand the first damn thing about it either."

"I know Italians and I like them. A lot of my father's best friends were Italians. I responded to that in making the picture. I put a lot of warmth into that character. Those immigrants were tough, more intensive than people are these days."

"I love champions. A champion has something special about him."

"Compared to Thoreau, Saint Francis of Assisi was peanuts."

"Too often, I have not been what I wanted to be I've succumbed to pressures. Yes, I have. The things I've done that I liked, I've always done against advice. The bad films everybody was high on. The good films, they advised me against."

"Don't crucify me because of what your idea of a movie star is. I didn't start out to be a movie star. I started out to be an actor. You people out in the East have no idea what goes on out here. No awareness or knowledge whatsoever. You lose track of the human being behind the image of the movie star."

"I find characters with a little evil in them much more interesting to play than the good guy. I'd rather play than ."

"I don't know if they have to care. I'm only concerned if they're interested in me. I don't care if you love me or hate me, but don't be indifferent to me. That to me is the worst thing."

"I've worked with Mankiewicz, Hawks, Kazan, Wyler, Wilder. I've been very fortunate. All of them work differently. I've even directed a couple of pictures, so I have respect for the work. But no matter what anyone says, it's a collaborative art form. I think the problem is that we've been contaminated by the European concept of the Auteur System. I've had movies where I bought the book, developed the script and cast the whole picture, but then the director walks in and says, "It must be a John Smith film." I think sometimes we emphasize that too much."

"I told him, "Michael, you're the kind of producer I'd like to work with because you give everything to the other person even when you're in the movie." He did that in Romancing the Stone (1984). He focused all the attention on the girl Kathleen Turner. I haven't been that generous. I've been a producer, but I find a product like Spartacus or The Vikings or Seven Days in May or Paths of Glory and somehow there always seems to be a good part for me."

"I renet it when I hear some of these young actors say they won't sell a picture. I've always felt that's part of my responsibility—to help getting people to see a movie. Funny thing is I don't even remember any of these young guy's names. I want to spank them."

"Success doesn't change you; fame does."

"You've got to know who you are before you step into this business, because if you're trying to find it, you'll probably wind up being somebody else, that you probably don't even like."

"You can fool people. You can fool anybody any time of the day, but you can't fool yourself. At night, when you go home, you've got to be straight up with you."

"“I broke my heart for every gain, to taste the sweet I faced the pain.”"

""I finally faced the fact that it isn’t a crime not having friends. Being alone means you have fewer problems.”"

"I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow; if I fail, or if I succeed at least I did as I believe."

"Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do. It's my decision. So the biggest devil is me. I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy. And that's how I have to deal with it."

"I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside."

"It’s an increasingly rare case for a solo artist to see exponential success from back to back decades, and Whitney Houston was certainly that exception."

"I was never really in love with acting. I always love movies and going to the theater. But did I love being in this business? Not for five minutes. I did it because I needed a job. For the first year or two, it's like a poison that enters your body. It's like a virus, and your body has to release antidotes. But it would be very unfair to say that it's that way all the time. It's just like anything this overwhelming that you enter suddenly. It's like being a contact at West Point. You're thrown into an intense environment. From the word go, you realize it's sink or swim."

"Democrats of the seventies and eighties are too tolerant, too open-minded, not feral enough. I want to be a ferocious liberal."

"My dad turned 40 in October 1967 … in April '68 Martin Luther King was killed. In June '68 Robert Kennedy was killed. And in the fall of '68, my dad's mother died. He was left, on an existential level, saying, "This is what I am. I've got the love of my students and I've got nothing else. My country is going to hell." After 1968, he was never the same again. All the air went out of him."

"Every time we sit down to eat, we make a choice. Please choose vegetarianism. Do it for the animals. Do it for the environment, and do it for your health."

"I was in love when I was married to Kim Basinger, I’m not ashamed to say. I used to wake up in the morning and just look at her and say 'What do you want for breakfast, baby? Special K with blueberries? Let me go get some.'"

"My fiancé is so handsome. Imma have to send his parents a fruit basket thanking them for creating the perfect man."

"I'm beyond lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend."

"I'd like to thank my parents for providing me with a high IQ & I'd like to thank my grams for encouraging me not to be a self absorbed idiot"

"Two out of my three cats follow me around like furry little stalkers. It's such a nice ego boost."

"It's Friday the 13th. my favorite holiday. Keep it weird."

"Halloween is so close I can practically taste the children's tears."

"All black everyday always"

"I wish there was an on & off switch for my brain. I think too fucking much."

"saddened to hear the passing of a true artistic master, H.R. Giger. Ur legacy will live on through ur innovative & stimulating originality"

"Attempting to be a people pleaser is a fruitless task so, fuck it."

"Humans are an embarrassing species w/ small glimmers of beauty that seep through the veil of bigotry&stupidity, every once in a small while."

"the death of young musicians isn't something to romanticize (cont)"

"I'll never know my father because he died young & it becomes a desirable feat because ppl like u think it's "cool"(cont)"

"Well, it's fucking not. Embrace life, because u only get one life. The ppl u mentioned wasted that life.Don't be 1 of those ppl"

"ur too talented to waste it away."

"I'm not attacking anyone. I have no animosity towards Lana, I was just trying to put things in perspective from personal experience"

"Dark City is such an underrated film."

"Happy birthday to my unorthodox/free spirited mother @Courtney thanks for teaching me to embrace creativity&survive"

"Constantly battling with sabretooth tigers and fluid drained lighters."

"Stardust coursing through our veins."

"Being a people pleaser is a fruitless task; love is love. There's no debating that concept."

"You see something faraway & it looks beautiful & very seductive; but as you go closer you realize it's actually bugs crawling over a corpse."

"The Idealization of deep flaws seeping through coiled cracks; The reality we all want to avoid is a plagued sickness we choose to live with."

"So many ways to be deemed unclean"

"I'm coming back as a cat or a tree or a molecule in my next life."

"Teetering in between worlds with a sleepy conscious, pestilence, infinite knowledge, alienation, burning cigarettes, vibes & male seahorses."

"The people who Bitch about life the most are the people who secretly love bitching"

"Self-fulfillment and Growth are some of the most courageous acts on this planet"

"I'm a different person. I don't want to be titled as Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain's daughter. I want to be thought of as Frances Cobain."

"She tells me to "live free and be free, but listen to other people's advice." I listen, but I don't always follow it."

"My favorite color is light pink. I also like baby blue because it brings out my eyes."

"New York is like my dream city. That's where I'm going to live, I'm convinced of it."

"Mom and I…we're both very flaky people."

"I get it, I really do, but at the same time, it's creepy. It's creepy to see fan sites about me."

"These people are fascinated by me, but I haven't done anything. I'm famous by default. I came out of the womb and people wanted to know who I was because of my parents. If you're a big Nirvana fan, a big Hole fan, then I understand why you would want to get to know me, but I'm not my parents. People need to wait until I've done something valid with my life."

"I have the attention span of a rabbit on cocaine."

"I can count on one hand how many people I trust."

"I want to be sublimely happy."

"I don't like to look sloppy. I'm a girlie-girl."

"While I'm generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I'm in a monogamous relationship and very happy. Twitter should ban my mother."

"Kurt got to the point where he eventually had to sacrifice every bit of who he was to his art, because the world demanded it of him," Frances says bluntly at one point. "I think that was one of the main triggers as to why he felt he didn't want to be here and everyone would be happier without him."But "in reality, if he had lived," she goes on, "I would have had a dad. And that would have been an incredible experience."

"It paints a portrait of a man attempting to cope with being a human."

"Even though Kurt died in the most horrific way possible, there is this mythology and romanticism that surrounds him, because he's 27 forever. The shelf life of an artist or musician isn't particularly long. Kurt has gotten to icon status because he will never age. He will always be that relevant in that time and always be beautiful."

"There is, with any great artist, a little manic-ness and insanity."

"My dad was exceptionally ambitious. But he had a lot thrown on him, exceeding his ambition. He wanted his band to be successful. But he didn't want to be the fucking voice of a generation."

"I don't really like Nirvana that much. [grins] Sorry, promotional people, Universal. I'm more into Mercury Rev, Oasis, Brian Jonestown Massacre. [laughs] The grunge scene is not what I'm interested in. But "Territorial Pissings" is a fucking great song. And "Dumb"—I cry every time I hear that song. It's a stripped-down version of Kurt's perception of himself—of himself on drugs, off drugs, feeling inadequate to be titled the voice of a generation."

"No. I would have felt more awkward if I'd been a fan. I was around 15 when I realized he was inescapable. Even if I was in a car and had the radio on, there's my dad. He's larger than life and our culture is obsessed with dead musicians. We love to put them on a pedestal. If Kurt had just been another guy who abandoned his family in the most awful way possible… But he wasn't. He inspired people to put him on a pedestal, to become St. Kurt."

"They [Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, and Pat Smear] look at me, and you can see they're looking at a ghost. … Dave said, "She is so much like Kurt." They were all talking amongst themselves, rehashing old stories I'd heard a million times. I was sitting in a chair, chain-smoking, looking down like this. [acts bored] And they went, "You are doing exactly what your father would have done.""

"The hardest part of doing anything creatively is just getting up and doing. Once I get out of bed and get into my art room, I start painting. I'm there. And I'm doing it."

"We're each other's everything."

"I love strong, opinionated, intelligent women."

"I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day."

"My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave."

"You can only hold your stomach in for so many years."

"I can sing as well as Fred Astaire can act."

"We’re only here for a little while, and you’ve got to have some fun, right? I don’t take myself seriously, and I think the ones that do, there’s some sickness with people like that. That’s why I live in Florida."

"I don’t know why I think this, but maybe I’ve got my best work ahead. Maybe I’ll be putting my teeth in the glass, and maybe it will be a very different kind of role, but I want to do something where I’m not driving a car or a truck, where it’s real. Something that people wouldn’t expect me to do. Probably a man in search of himself. But we’re always searching for ourselves anyway."

"Images of cars and highways fill our literature, songs, movies and art, not just in America but worldwide. Books like "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac or "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" by Tom Wolfe were among the first to romanticize driving and road trips. Old blues and early rock songs like "Route 66," "Brand New Cadillac," and "Goin' Mobile" further romanticized cars and highways for the postwar "Baby Boom" generation. Thousands of films and T.V. shows have focused on or predominantly featured cars and car chases: "Rebel Without a Cause," "American Graffiti," "Easy Rider," "Bullet," "The Dukes of Hazzard," the "James Bond" films, and at least half a dozen Burt Reynolds movies. The list goes on... All this pop culture, combined with relentless commercial advertising, has made cars an integral part of our personal identity. We have been taught to equate motor vehicles with wealth, power, romance, rebellion and freedom. Now, everywhere I go in the world, I see cars-millions and millions of cars-in Rome, Guatemala City, Kuala Lumpur, Bombay and Beijing. Everywhere there are huge traffic jams and poor air quality. The number of motor vehicles in the world is growing three times faster than the population."

"Love is the closest thing to laughter and the closest thing to tears. Love is the motive power of everything in the universe that has beauty in it. Love is the reason for everything and the reward for everything. It’s always seemed strange to me that we have to use the word love for so many things. And yet when you come to think of it, that’s all right, too, because love is in everything in some form or another. Without it, I imagine the flowers would stop blooming and the sun would stop shining and people would stop laughing, and even the rain wouldn’t fall. So love is always growth. I think if I could have just one word for love—it would be understanding. Love must always be unselfish, and strangely enough, love is the only thing in the world that ever is unselfish. And if it isn’t unselfish, it’s only a counterfeit of love."

"I find that I would like now, best of all, to be a good conversationalist. I know I'm not one at present. Oh, I can sit and talk a little of this and that, but I realize that I haven't any definite or profound knowledge. I won't be satisfied with just a patter, a surface glaze of information. I don't want short-cuts to learning. I want to know all about the thing I study. I'd like to be able to hold my own, to meet on a common ground, with scientists, inventors, clerics, doctors, athletes, authors. The most worthwhile thing in life is to store your mind with knowledge. I wish now that I had been able to go to college, if only so that I might have had appreciations earlier in the game. People often say to me now that I have my home, my career, fame (if you call it that), there must be nothing left for me to live for. But there is everything left to live for. All the things I don't know about, all the things I want to know about. Pictures, I've discovered, were practically all I did know about up to very recently. I've had to work so hard, to concentrate so closely, that I never have had time to read or to travel or to think about other things. I'm just at the beginning of living..."

"I love competition. I'd rather have to fight and worry than be peaceful and secure, any day. I've found that I'm a peaceful, easy-going sort of a fellow about all the small things in life. But when a big issue comes along and when I feel I'm right about it—well, I guess I'm pretty stubborn. Even nasty. I've taken up golf. I'm crazy about it. Doug Fairbanks and I play every day that we can get away from work. I not only like the game a lot, but I want to master it. I'm not satisfied just to play golf. I want to be good at it. That's the way I've come to feel about everything."

"I find that I have great faith in human nature. I believe that people are good. I believe they are to be trusted. So far as I know, no one has ever betrayed my faith, in any way. If they ever have, I've been spared the knowledge of it. If I couldn't have faith in human nature, I wouldn't want to live. It is the one thing that could destroy for me the joy of living. I've come to believe that life, under almost any conditions, is worth while. I found that out when I had my accident some years ago, and was in the hospital. I thought, for a couple of weeks, that I would be blind for life. I thought I would surely be so disabled that I would never be able to work again. I didn't suppose that I would have one five-hundredth of what I have now. Still I thought, 'Life is worth while. Just to be alive. I still think so."

"I used old comic clothes stuff in the early days. I had the big shoes, I had the tight clothes, in fact I played several different characters. I played one called Willie Work; he used to have wide shoulders, a little cat mustache, a high hat. Another one was called Lonesome Luke, and his clothes were tight with a little funny hat; he had a funny little mustache. But when I adopted the glasses, it more or less put me in a different category because I became a human being. He was a kid that you would meet next door, across the street, but at the same time I could still do all the crazy things that we did before, but you believed them. They were natural and the romance could be believable."

"My humor was never cruel or cynical. I just took life and poked fun at it. We made it so it could be understood the world over, without language barriers. We seem to have conquered the time barrier, too."

"I'm gonna do four or five of these movies, and it's going to become my career. I'll have to keep expanding the bat suit, because I get fatter every year. I'll be bankrupt. I'll be out opening shopping malls, going from appearance to appearance in a cheesy van."

"I probably could've done this earlier, if I was more ambitious."

"I'll always stand by the first Batman. Even for its imperfections, people will never know how hard that movie was to do. A lot of that still holds up."

"From an art perspective, I don't know how you get better than Beetlejuice. In terms of originality and a look, it's 100% unique."

"Frankly, it's all set up now so that you're weirdly kind of safe. Once you get in those suits, they really know what to do with you. It was hard then; it ain't that hard now. Entertainment Weekly (2014)"

"Of course there is a monkey. There is always a monkey."

"The experience I had seeing Star Wars for the first time was mind-blowing. Eleven is a great age to have your mind blown. I will never forget that feeling of seeing "Long time ago, in a galaxy, far, far away" fade out. It was the first time a movie made me believe in another world that way."

"It was nothing that I think any one of us took on because it was a gig that was available. It was something that felt like a true passion and something that every single person brought much more than any of us could have expected. … I do honestly feel honored to be part of this group."

"I’ve always liked working on stories that combine people who are relatable with something insane. … The most exciting thing for me is crossing that bridge between something we know is real and something that is extraordinary. The thing for me has always been how you cross that bridge."

"Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977) is probably the most influential film of my generation. … That movie was the personification of good and evil and the way it opened up the world to space adventure, the way westerns did to our parents' generations, it left an indelible imprint. So, in a way, everything that any of us does is somehow directly or indirectly affected by the experience of seeing those first three films."

"When I was a kid and saw Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope for the first time, it blew my mind and around the same time, I had friends who were huge fans of Star Trek and I don’t know if I was smart enough to get it, or patient enough. What I loved about Star Wars was the visceral energy of it, the clarity of it, the kind of innocence and big heart of it. Star Trek always felt a little bit more sophisticated and philosophical, debating moral dilemmas and things that were theoretically interesting, but for some reason I couldn’t get on board. It really took working with all these guys and actually working on Star Trek for me to fall in love with that."

"We went from the silent era to the sound era, and now we’ve done it again. Now that we’re digital, I assume we will stay digital for at least 50 years. Everybody says, "Oh, you’re going to replace actors." You can’t replace actors. We’ve created duplicates, clones, but they can’t act. They’re a computer, for God’s sake. If you think back to what was done in the Star Wars films, it unbridled people’s imaginations. That of course fueled the business at ILM because they were being approached more and more to keep raising the bar. Actors will not be replaced: worst case scenario, they’ll have to wear a lycra leotard!"

"You can run but you cannot hide."

"Let me kiss it And make it better After tonight You will forget her"

"You say you wake up In the morning Feeling used Like a fallen angel Tired and bruised It's got you feeling So insane More dead than alive Love's got you stained On the inside"

"I’ll be the first unknown that everyone’s going to be sick of … People will say, “We have no idea what her name is, but she is everywhere!" … I did Salomé with Al Pacino, The Tree of Life with Terrence Malick, and all these films that were interesting and had great characters. But because they were so interesting, perhaps the directors had more control of them. They take their time, they’re not on a schedule."

"I don’t want to torture anything. … it’s about trying to live a life where I’m not contributing to the cruelty in the world. … While I am on this planet, I want everyone I meet to know that I am grateful they are here."

"We saw the choices. The audience will be given the opportunity. They can see Him and Her, or they can see Them. … Well, for the cinephiles and the people who really want to commit, I would definitely say, “See Him and Her.” It’s the full experience. … I’ve always thought Him and Her. But it’s funny, in Toronto, when Harvey Weinstein saw the film for the first time, he saw Her and Him, and he was determined. He was like, “That’s how it has to be seen!” So it depends."

"I was on the set of Tree of Life. He was with me, and he asked me [if I] would play Eleanor Rigby in his film. And I said, “Yes, but it’s so much the male perspective,” [whispers] like the majority of films that are made. I said, “I’d like to know more about the woman. I’d like to know her perspective as well.” So he went and he wrote Her. And it was very collaborative because every day as he’d write, I’d be working, and I’d come back and he’d ask me questions about sisters or whatnot and how women talk with each other, and I found that to be really exciting. … he was the full writer. I was his bounce board. Not story things, because that’s the main part of the film, but just things like, you know, cutting the hair. You know, because girls, we all tell each other, “Don’t cut your hair when you’re pregnant, don’t cut your hair when you have a breakup or when a tragedy happens.” It’s something that we like to do when we’re in an emotional place for some reason. Right? But that’s something that a man may not know, that’s inherently female. And so it was my idea, I wanted Eleanor to cut her hair off, because then it connects to then her disappearing herself as well."

"I can’t say ANYTHING. Everyone knows pretty much who I’m playing."

"A quirk of fate has put Chastain in a unique position. She is 30 now, and having worked solidly since leaving drama school with an impressive roster of A-list names, she is probably the most successful actress that no one has ever heard of. … This is about to change: over the next few months Chastain has so much coming out that she worries about being overexposed."

"Long before the #MeToo movement started, I was very upset when Jessica Chastain made statements against the film Last Tango in Paris. If you listen to her, that film should never have been made. To listen to her, Maria Schneider was raped. But Jessica Chastain wasn’t there, and it’s not true — I was on set. The scene was fiction."

"You know, if I would have understood the potential of… doing, or adapting comic book characters to feature films, and also the tie-in to gaming and digital technology, when I was doing the first Blade films, then I’d be in a different business right now. I’d be in a whole different ball game."

"We lost a place, but my daughter was born at the same time. We were taking care of her in Los Angeles, because there’s a tradition that you don’t travel with a newborn. To give their body a chance to acclimate. So, literally, we were lying in bed, and my sister called me and said, ‘Turn on the TV.’ Our daughter’s lying there between us, and I looked over at my lady and said, ‘Baby, our place is gone!’ I just turned to my daughter and started kissing her. ‘That’s why you came, my girl. You saved our lives… you’re a lifesaver!’"

"I was fortunate enough to be trained in the theater. Coming from the theater background, you’re schooled to play diverse roles in preparation for the repertory environment, or the repertory type of lifestyle. So, to me, going back and forth from genre to genre is only keeping true to the way I was trained in the theater. And I’m really an action fan. I’m a movie fan in general, but I’m definitely an action fan, as well."

"It’s always a joy to work with Spike. He creates an environment that’s wonderful for creativity. People leave their egos at the door and just we all come from different genres and different levels within the business. It’s kind of exciting to finally meet people like Common, John Cusack, Jennifer Hudson and work with them, and see what the flavors are. You know the most seasoned veterans, we always want to see what the young guys, the young crew, has to offer. If they learn something and if they bring something to the table or if they should just be written off."

"It's a different animal. The action movie requires much more physical dedication and focus, you have to be careful because of potential injuries and so it's very hard and you have to be cautious, while the drama taxes the emotions, and so if you're using some past experienced trauma and try to use it for a scene it might move you beyond expectations."

"The cult surprised me. I didn't even realise it had been successful. I loved it, I had fun working on it and it was one of the first things I'd ever written. And it wasn't just that it wasn't a hit - it was a huge failure. No one saw it. I don't know how on earth it caught on years later."

"It would be interesting to have two movies - one The Monster Squad, and one The Monster Squad and they're 30 years apart and so are the kids; the characters have aged. As long as people understood that's what we're doing, I think that could be fun. That's a good idea"

"You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge."

"Apart from Dr. Dre’s countless collaborative works, his own records throughout the ‘90s solidified him as one of the rap genre’s single most important and influential artists."

"We hold that the greatest right in the world is the right to be wrong, that in the exercise thereof people have an inviolable right to express their unbridled thoughts on all topics and personalities, being liable only for the abuse of that right."

"We hold that no person or set of persons can properly establish a standard of expression for others."

"What has become of the descendants of the irresponsible adventurers, the scapegrace sons, the bond servants, the redemptionists and the indentured maidens, the undesirables, and even the criminals, which made up-not all, of course, but nevertheless a considerable part of-the earliest emigrants to these virgin countries? They have become the leaders of the thought of the world, the vanguard in the march of progress, the inspirers of liberty, the creators of national prosperity, the sponsors of universal education and enlightenment."

"The NARROW-MINDED BIGOTS have given to this country and to the world freedom of speech, freedom of thought and action and religious liberty."

"Any man who has the brains to think and the nerve to act for the benefit of the people of the country is considered a radical by those who are content with stagnation and willing to endure disaster."

"A politician will do anything to keep his job-even become a patriot."

"SEVENTH, the text of a newspaper must tell the news. The headlines must tell the news. The pictures must tell the news. The subheads and subtitles must tell the news. Please see that the newspapers perform this function."

"When free discussion is denied, hardening of the arteries of democracy has set in, free institutions are but a lifeless form, and the death of the republic is at hand."

"Please realize that the first duty of newspaper men is the get the news and PRINT THE NEWS."

"Whatever is right can be achieved through the irresistible power of awakened and informed public opinion. Our object, therefore, is not to enquire whether a thing can be done, but whether it ought to be done, to so exert the forces of publicity that public opinion will compel it be done."

"According to American principle and practice the public is the ruler of the State, and in order to rule rightly it should be informed correctly."

"You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war."

"The idea to make New York City a state, in case you didn't know, is not original with me. There's been a long struggle for more "home rule," which, although it hasn't focused on statehood, has sought to get us more control over taxes, services and decision-making. Statehood was first proposed by the Mayor of New York in 1861; it was later advocated by such people as William Randolph Hearst and by William F. Buckley in his campaign for Mayor in 1965..."

"Pickings in the heap of human chaos which usually inspires what William Randolph Hearst called "great American journalism" were scrawny. There were no earthquakes, famines or train wrecks. Billion dollar bank heists had dried up on the editors and of course airplane hijacking hadn't yet been invented."

"May I state at the out-set, that I always regarded the Hearst press as yellow, violently anti-labor and reactionary? In the course of my organizing activities in several parts of this country, the Hearst press consistently attacked us, blaming the ILG and its organizers for instigating strikes, causing people to lose their jobs, livelihoods, homes, etc. As last as 1936, the Hearst press, writing about the leadership of the CIO in the Roosevelt campaign attacked our ILG and its leadership, including yourself, as Communists. (I was given the distinction of being an Anarchist and a friend of Emma Goldman, an honor I shall never deny.) I recall that in 1927 a similar stunt was performed by Hearst in printing the story of the lives of Sacco-Vanzetti, who were electrocuted, the articles notwithstanding. The Hearst press has already been on the decline for several years because the awakened labor rank and file refused to be bull-dozed any longer. Today, the printing of your story in the classic Hearst sensational style, is simply giving his yellow, reactionary press a new lease on life, to say the least. I followed the articles and must admit that Mr. Joseph Mulvaney, the fellow who induced you to consent to his writing these stories, will be handsomely rewarded by Hearst, for the circulation will surely jump a score of thousands or more. do not know what objectives you aim to reach in consenting to be publicized in such a fashion, save one-to give the writer a chance to earn a living (is he at least a Union man?)"

"Perhaps no editor has been so guilty of stirring up the baser passions of human beings as [|Hearst]. Often in his early years as an editor and publisher, he did some political arousings on the side of the workers. It helped him get circulation. Gradually, however, he evolved a policy which prevailed over all liberal doctrines that he might advocate-devoting his publications to the will of the big moneyed interests to have and to retain everything that they possessed and to insure their hopes of getting more through their 'superior intelligence'"

"Slacker had come into the language as a term of frequent use. Bundles of Hearst newspapers had been burned in Times Square because Hearst was slow in swinging to the Allied cause but in a few weeks he had swung, and American flags were printed all over his daily sheets. So-called pro-Germans were being tarred and feathered by mobs in the West. Frank Little of the I.W.W. executive board had been lynched by business men in Butte, Montana. And new and appalling tales of cruelty to conscientious objectors were coming out of the prisons where they were confined."

"We don't deliberately desire to scare anybody - we design our creatures to fit in harmony with the story and, of course, our forte is the grotesque. That's why our films were classified so many times as horror films, which they weren't. I would call a war film a horror film because in those you see guts split and people being slaughtered, but our films deal with fantasy and are more theatrical than realistic."

"[The skeleton] in Seventh Voyage of Sinbad was more frightening than the seven in Jason and the Argonauts. [...] Because we had seven skeletons I thought we were going to get seven "X" certificates but we got a "U" instantly. But one skeleton on its own is possibly more frightening than seven, and also in Seventh Voyage the skeleton was in a dark, spooky chamber, while in Jason the seven were out in the open on a sunny hilltop."

"I suppose we would be monsters to a Venusian. [...] We depicted the outer space creature as something strange rather than as a monster. He was from a strange place and therefore out of place in our familiar surroundings."

"I teethed on Frankenstein and Dracula but I feel that those films were made with greater taste than horror films are made today. They dwell too much on the gorier aspects of their subjects for some reason. I suppose it's because people are more jaded now."

"I enjoyed Young Frankenstein. I didn't think I would because I like my Frankensteins pure and clean like the original but I was very amused by Young Frankenstein - I thought it was very well-done. On the whole I dislike tongue-in-cheek sendups. But I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy Flesh for Frankenstein. From what I've heard about it the film approaches the subject from the gorier side and neglects the profundity of the original."

"We don't set out to deliberately scare with our creatures, we try to make them as awe-inspiring as possible."

"The art of motion has always intrigued me. How a body - when it throws its weight from side to side and sits down - actually sits down. What muscles interact to bring that simple movement to its conclusion. Movement is a fascinating process and each creature I have made and animated has had its own character according to its physiognomy."

"I am often asked if I would have liked to have been involved with Jurassic Park. The plain answer is no. Although excellent, it is not with all its dollars what I would have wished to do with my career. I was always a loner and worked best that way. Since the very beginning I fought and struggled under constant pressure to keep the design and final result within my hands. As time moved on this became more difficult, until I was forced to bow to the fact that my method of working, in the financial sense, was no longer practical. Model animation has been relegated to a reflection, or a starting point for creature computer effects that has reached a high few could have anticipated. However, for all the wonderful achievements of the computer, the process creates creatures that are too realistic and for me that makes them unreal because they have lost one vital element - a dream quality. Fantasy, for me, is realizing strange beings that are so removed from the 21st century. These beings would include not only dinosaurs, because no matter what the scientists say, we still don't know how dinosaurs looked or moved, but also creatures of the mind. Fantastical creatures where the unreal quality becomes even more vital. Stop-motion supplies the perfect breath of life for them, offering a look of pure fantasy because their movements are beyond anything we know."

"I remember once, in my garage studio whilst I was animating a dinosaur, that things were not going right. Gradually they got worse and worse, as they do in situations where you don't keep your temper, and in a fit of accumulated rage I threw a hammer at the floor. Unfortunately, it bounced and went through a huge plate glass painting I had been preparing to use in a miniature set and which I had spent weeks carefully painting. I almost cried with frustration, and there and then decided that if I wanted to make this my career, I would have to control my temper. I am not saying that I didn't lose my temper after that incident - I did - but I always tried to remember that plate glass painting. It was a timely and necessary lesson."

"For some reason the creation was called a rhedosaurus, and although I can't remember where this name came from, I suspect Hal Chester or one of the writers coined it. Over the years, people have suggested that the first two letters relate to the initials of a certain animator. I have no comment."

"The task of instilling pathos into a creature that was, after all, an innocent victim of circumstances was something I had set myself from the outset, although I was restrained by the script... The Beast is a poor lost soul brought back to life by man and then destroyed by man. If it sounds familiar, it is. King Kong was a huge influence, as he would be in all the other creatures I would be father to."

"The Ymir and Kong before him are both creatures wrenched from their natural environment against their will and finally killed by man. Although these creatures must always die, they should go out with a touch of pathos."

"Greek and Roman mythology had never been a favourite subject of mine at school, but as I grew older I began to appreciate the legends and realize that they contained a vivid world of adventure with wonderful heroes, villains and, most importantly, lots of fantastic creatures."

"It seems ironic that for most of my career I have been trying to perfect smooth and life-like animation action, but for Talos (which was the longest animation section of the film), it was necessary to create a deliberately stiff and mechanical movement in keeping with a bronze statue that had sprung to life."

"The most popular exhibits in any natural history museum are, without doubt, the dinosaurs. These creatures' popularity grows each year, partly because of the recent resurgence of dinosaur movies, but also because a skeleton of a full-sized tyrannosaurus rex still has the ability, even 65 million years after its death, to chill us to the bone."

"Although Gwangi had been an allosaurus in Obie's version, I decided to make him more of a tyrannosaurus, and so I used elements from both species to make what I suppose could be called a 'tyrannosaurus al'. This combination allowed me a flexibility between aggressiveness and agility. If you like, he was glamourized."

"When it came to the tiger, I found that animating the movements of a large feline animal posed some difficulties, as it required precise and miniscule advancements in movement throughout its body. As well as tigers, I also studied domestic cats, and by so doing managed to achieve a combination of mannerisms represented by both. The overall impression is of latent ferocity and a lust for blood, but at the same time there are also slow, graceful movements that mask the creature's power."

"Clash was destined to be my last hero picture, and looking back, the decision to end my career at that point was absolutely right. With all the problems involved in production, and the knowledge that I was losing precious control of solo animation, I was forced to concede that it was time to stand aside for others and their new technology to take over."

"No! The other thing, that God brought us together for a reason."

"I found I was really comfortable taking on a different personality. It saved me from myself, in a way."

"There are some times when I think acting can be a noble profession."

"I think the worst thing that can happen to a good actor is fame. The limelight is a tricky place, because you can't believe what's going on around you. You stop observing. You stop perceiving. You stop extending yourself, and you become isolated. Our duty as actors is to remain compassionate and curious. Fame complicates all that."

"It's just an incredible gift, giving birth. I never felt so empowered, so powerful, so womanly as I did after I gave birth. I felt more feminine than I ever had in my life."

"As an actor, you're sort of the court-appointed lawyer for the character. And that's what used to draw me to scripts – something in a woman that I wanted to defend, something that I recognized or wanted to understand, something that turned my head."

"I've gravitated towards independent cinema because you have to work harder in studio scripts to flesh out characters, particularly female ones. They are not as sharply edged, they tend to be quite watery. They are not renderings of women as I know them."

"Faith is important to me. I wanted to make sure the tone was reverent. I'm just someone who marvels at God. I grew up Catholic, but I'm very comfortable in all religions."

"My husband watched it live online and I was awakened with coffee and the good news. He's my biggest fan and he was really rooting for this to happen."

"I just wanted to study how to portray clairvoyance, and I finally took an ocular approach. She has these beautiful blue eyes and her gaze is gently penetrating. All the obvious stuff about her you can find online but I wanted more of the nitty-gritty, like how did it affect her sex life? If you're domestic ballbuster by day and a ghostbuster by night, how does that affect your home life? I opted not to go down to their museum of the occult that they maintain in the basement, Patrick and I both. We stayed upstairs."

"I have a two-year-old who just turned three, and my four-year-old just turned five. I have the same irrational feelings taking them to pre-school. It's this charged combination of stress and joy and anxiety and excitement. When they're away, you've got a sudden loss of purpose and this ever-present fear about the kid's welfare. The departure of our children from our nest is not an easy thing."

"I didn't at first because horror movies scared me too much, but I really do love the genre and it’'s a playground where you can really be artistic and create ideas in the minds of the audience and portray the unreal. It'’s very cool experimentation ground for a filmmaker."

"A lot of people who are in the movie business don't really know much about movies, and they certainly don't know movie history. You have to even find a code when you're talking to these people—you can't use the references that you would use when talking to somebody who knows movie history. When you go in to pitch something, it depends what you invoke. You can't invoke anything really before 1980 with these people because they don't know what you're talking about. It's limiting. They get annoyed. They get offended that you are somehow trying to expose the fact that they don't know things, and make them feel inadequate. Which is of course not the point, or why you do it."

"Musk is a parasitic illegal immigrant. He wants to impose his freak experiments and play-act as God without any respect for the country’s history, values, or traditions."

"Second term kicks off with firing Wray, firing Fauci. Now, I actually want to go a step farther, but I realize the president is a kind-hearted man and a good man. I'd actually like to go back to the old times of Tudor England, I'd put the heads on pikes, right. I'd put them at the two corners of the White House as a warning to federal bureaucrats. You either get with the program or you're gone."

"There is a growing global anti-establishment revolt against the permanent political class at home, and the global elites that influence them, which impacts everyone from Lubbock, Tex., to London, England...We look at London and Texas as two fronts in our current cultural and political war."

"We should just go buck wild...Let the grassroots turn on the hate because that’s the ONLY thing that will make them do their duty."

"We don’t like to try to guess what’s going to happen in the future, but I’ve got to tell you, I think people were very engaged in this election, and I think will be very engaged as time goes forward. The key is to hold people accountable. The hobbits, or the deplorables, had a great run in ’16. Everybody mocked them and ridiculed them, and now they’ve spoken. I think ’17 is going to be a very exciting year,"

"The media should be embarrassed and humiliated and keep its mouth shut and just listen for a while...I want you to quote this, the media here is the opposition party. They don't understand this country. They still do not understand why Donald Trump is the president of the United States... The elite media got it dead wrong, 100 percent dead wrong. [The 2016 election was] a humiliating defeat that they will never wash away, that will always be there...You’re the opposition party. Not the Democratic Party. You’re the opposition party. The media’s the opposition party."

"[Re Spicer loss of credibility] Are you kidding me? We think that's a badge of honor. 'Questioning his integrity' are you kidding me? The media has zero integrity, zero intelligence, and no hard work."

"We call ourselves ‘the Fight Club.’ You don’t come to us for warm and fuzzy. We think of ourselves as virulently anti-establishment, particularly ‘anti-’ the permanent political class. We say Paul Ryan was grown in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation. We hire people who are freaks. They don’t have social lives. They’re junkies about news and information."

"When two-thirds or three-quarters of the C.E.O.s in Silicon Valley are from South Asia or from Asia, I think . . . A country is more than an economy. We’re a civic society."

"And we’re at the very beginning stages of a very brutal and bloody conflict, of which if the people in this room, the people in the church, do not bind together and really form what I feel is an aspect of the church militant, to really be able to not just stand with our beliefs, but to fight for our beliefs against this new barbarity that’s starting, that will completely eradicate everything that we’ve been bequeathed over the last 2,000, 2,500 years. ... Now that call converges with something we have to face, and it’s a very unpleasant topic, but we are in an outright war against jihadist Islamic fascism. And this war is, I think, metastasizing far quicker than governments can handle it."

"Until we have the black working class and the Hispanic working class getting high-value-added jobs, we've failed as a society. To me: citizens first. And we don't need a million immigrants in this country. Particularly, we don't need a million immigrants that don't come with a real set of skills."

"If Bernie Sanders had an ounce of [[Michael Avenatti|[Michael] Avenatti’s]] fearlessness, he would’ve been the Democratic nominee, and we would have had a much tougher time beating him. Now, I don’t believe a professional politician is going to be there at the end of the day. I’ve always said it’s going to be someone like Oprah, or Avenatti, or somebody that’s more media-savvy that’s going to be there."

"The Democrats don’t matter. The real opposition is the media. And the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit."

"[He's a] whiner...I don’t think that the alt-right is anti-Semitic at all...Are there anti-Semitic people involved in the alt-right? Absolutely. Are there racist people involved in the alt-right? Absolutely. But I don’t believe that the movement overall is anti-Semitic."

"I’m a Leninist. Lenin wanted to destroy the state, and that’s my goal too. I want to bring everything crashing down, and destroy all of today’s establishment."

"We're going to federal court to look for radical transparency... What the Democrats are doing are generating &mdash; you got the printing press going &mdash; they're generating ballots everywhere. You got ballots coming out of &mdash; you got new votes in Georgia, got new votes in Pennsylvania..."

"Everybody take a deep breath. Not only do we got this, we already own this. Okay: He's President of the United States; He won a resounding victory on votes that matter. Right? You have Black Lives Matter, you have All Lives Matter &mdash; we have Votes That Matter. Votes that matter are: certifiable, verifiable, legal votes that were voted on the third of November, the year of our Lord 2020."

"There is no day of infamy yesterday. Everybody take a deep breath, say a prayer, commit yourself, trust the process... Because we've won, not "We're going to win, ..." The President has won... We're not going to play these games, 50,000 ballots here, no postmark... Burke's dictum: We owe as much to those who came before us.. Everybody says it's all for the kids, for the grandkids, yes... But Burke told us... we have a moral obligation to take that, and make it better and pass it on... and doing that, you respect your obligations to those that came before you... Jack Maxey: the men at Normandy, tell us about them... Twenty years of age.. Everybody that voted on the third: Pres. Trump took an oath to God.. You have a moral obligation, direct connection, to those kids that died at Normandy, that couldn't even vote. Did they whine? Did they cry? And they knew they were going to certain death... You're going into that.. The only way we're going to get through is to push ourselves through... Stop with your friends, "I'm so worried. I'm so nervous " STOP IT. We've got this. The only way they can take it is if we give it to them... If you allow that to happen... I want you to explain it to the twenty year old kid in the first wave on D-Day..."

"Here in the Judeo-Christian West we believe in eternal life. In Philadelphia they'll say they believe in eternal voting."

"The dead will rise again &mdash; at least in Pennsylvania, to vote."

"Pennsylvania, if you don't win this now, not only will you never win again &mdash; you don't deserve to win again."

"The Hard Drive From Hell: you come for the porn, but you stay for the compromise."

"Mike Lindell: "'The Big Lie' is the big lie." Steve: [Laughter] Is that like a Zen koan? Like "the sound of one hand clapping in the forest"?!"

"If Andrew [Breitbart] were still around, I bet he'd tell Bannon to stay in Europe — and not just because his tendency to wear several shirts seems more consistent with European fashion. Bannon's understanding of conservatism is entirely European... Conservatism in America has always been deeply traditionalist, sometimes too much so. But at the core of the modern conservative movement has been the effort to protect, defend and conserve the traditions of a liberal revolution, grounded in the best arguments of the enlightenment (slavery notwithstanding). Bannon's potted blood and soil nationalism and racially tinged populism runs counter to that project and the best and highest ideals of conservatism and America itself. He turned Andrew's Breitbart.com into a "platform" (his word) for the alt-right seeking to inject European swill into the American body politic. Let him stay in Europe and hand out torches for the marchers. His un-American schtick has no place here. I'm sure Andrew would agree."

"Donald J. Trump today announced that Breitbart News Executive Chairman Stephen K. Bannon has been appointed CEO, temporarily stepping down from his role with Breitbart News to work full-time on Mr. Trump’s campaign in a new position designed to bolster the business-like approach of Mr. Trump’s campaign."

""I have known Steve and Kellyanne both for many years. They are extremely capable, highly qualified people who love to win and know how to win," said Mr. Trump."

"Mr. Bannon, once recognized by Bloomberg Politics as the “most dangerous political operative in America,” will oversee the campaign staff and operations in addition to strategic oversight of major campaign initiatives in addition to working with Mr. Manafort."

"Trump (and Bannon and other right-wing authoritarian leaders around the world) is often referred to as a "populist" because he displays faux concern for the working class and a resentment of science and education, but his policies are in fact grotesquely elitist. If by "populist" we mean whipping up resentment against immigrants and people of color, then we should say that. Otherwise, "populism" is just a lazy euphemism for racism."

"I want to thank Steve Bannon for his service. He came to the campaign during my run against Crooked Hillary Clinton - it was great! Thanks S"

"Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency. When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind."

"Steve was a staffer who worked for me after I had already won the nomination."

"Steve had very little to do with our historic victory."

"Steve was rarely in a one-on-one meeting with me and only pretends to have had influence to fool a few people with no access and no clue."

"No sane person would hire Steven Bannon for a job that included making the trains run on time."

"Other than Trump himself, Bannon was certainly the oldest inexperienced person ever to work in the White House. It was a flaky career that got him here. Catholic school in Richmond, Virginia. Then a local college, Virginia Tech. Then seven years in the Navy, a lieutenant on a ship duty and then in the Pentagon. While on active duty, he got a master's degree at Georgetown's School of Foreign Service, but then he washed out of his naval career. Then an MBA from Harvard Business School. Then four years as an investment banker at Goldman Sachs- his final two years focusing on the media industry in Los Angeles- but not rising above a midlevel position. In 1990, at the age of thirty-seven, Bannon entered peripatetic entrepreneurhood under the auspices of Bannon & Co., a financial advisory firm to the entertainment industry. This was something of a hustler's shell company, hanging out a shingle in an industry of a small center of success and concentric rings radiating out of rising, aspiring, falling, and failing strivers. Bannon & Co., skirting falling and failing, made it to aspiring by raising small amounts of money for independent film projects- none a hit. Bannon was rather a movie figure himself. A type. Alcohol. Bad marriages. Cash-strapped in a business where the measure of success is excesses of riches. Ever scheming. Ever disappointed. For a man with a strong sense of his own destiny, he tended to be hardly noticed."

"Chinese media is taking aim at Steve Bannon, with one broadcaster calling the former White House adviser a “shameless anti-Chinese pioneer” over the weekend."

"Bannon, a former adviser to President Donald Trump, has used tough rhetoric on China’s ruling Communist Party since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, accusing the regime of “premeditated murder” and estimating the country owes the world “north of $5 trillion” for economic devastation wrought by the virus."

"Something true most people won’t say: Steve Bannon sacrificed his whole life for his country. His life will never be the same again. He was called a white supremacist and neo-Nazi by the press because they recognized what a formidable adversary he was."

"First of all, I think the United States is the greatest country in the world to invest in. And we see that. And we see that money is pouring into the United States for those reasons. So I think we're really going to be focused on economic growth and creating jobs. And that's really going to be the priority."

"Aw!! Did you think this was a personal trip?! Adorable! Do you think the US govt paid for our honeymoon or personal travel?! Lololol. Have you given more to the economy than me and my husband? Either as an individual earner in taxes OR in self sacrifice to your country? I’m pretty sure we paid more taxes toward our day “trip” than you did. Pretty sure the amount we sacrifice per year is a lot more than you’d be willing to sacrifice if the choice was yours. You’re adorably out of touch. Thanks for the passive aggressive nasty comment. Your kids look very cute. Your life looks cute. I know you’re mad but deep down you’re really nice and so am I. Sending me passive aggressive Instagram comments isn’t going to make life feel better. Maybe a nice message, one filled with wisdom and hunanity would get more traction. Have a pleasant evening. Go chill out and watch the new game of thrones. It’s fab!"

"If you had the opportunity to save a million people from preventable death, would you do it? … This is not merely a rhetorical question, but one that members of the Congress will have to answer in the present… Right now, legislation has already passed the House of Representatives that would do just that. And it was included in the newly released COVID relief bill that is being negotiated between House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin. It would require the Treasury Department, which represents our government at the International Monetary Fund (IMF), to support a multi-trillion dollar relief package from the Fund... And they do not cost the U.S. government anything at all — not now, and not at any time in the future. The IMF leadership, and almost all of the 189 member countries — including U.S. allies such as Germany and Canada — are ready to allocate the aid that Congress is considering. The reason it hasn’t already been approved at the IMF is that the U.S. Treasury has said no, and the U.S. — alone — has a veto at the IMF on this matter. .. [I]t’s not at all clear why the Treasury is blocking this desperately needed aid. … Nor is there any reason that it should be a partisan issue... It would take almost no effort to include the House or Senate bill that would unblock Treasury’s hold on the IMF funding…"

"When people ask me why I don’t eat meat or any other animal products, I say because they are unhealthy and they are the product of a violent and inhumane industry. Chickens, cows, and pigs in factory farms spend their whole lives in filthy, cramped conditions only to die a prolonged and painful death."

"I’ve been a vegetarian for 14 years now, and a lot of the time I avoid going to restaurants. I eat at home. … I’ve never had any desire to eat meat. In fact, when I was a kid I would have a really difficult time eating meat at all. It had to be the perfect bite, with no fat or gristle or bone or anything like that…. I don’t judge people who eat meat—that’s not for me to say—but the whole thing just sort of bums me out."

"We started shooting the film before they'd even come up with a working model of King Kong, it wasn't unusual for the wardrobe to be decided on the day before a scene was going to be shot - usually those things are worked out months in advance. We had a veteran crew, and our cameraman, Harold Wellman, had actually worked on the original 'King Kong' in 1933. It was my first movie, of course, and people would take me aside and tell me that no matter how many more movies I made, I'd never make another one like this"

"When I think back on Kong, that was like difficult too, because there was no reality in making that movie. There was so much that was left to my own devices and imagination. And when I had to play a scene opposite a 45-foot ape, that was bit taxing on your imagination because obviously there was nothing there, you know."

"We were shooting a Ku Klux Klan parade led by Bill [William Shatner], and he went through the black part of town in a parade of cars carrying crosses with the hoods, and then they burned the flaming cross. We shot late at night; I said, "Cut, print!" and everybody went, "Yeah, we're out of here!" Guys raced to their cars, the grips threw the last couple of things in the trucks and we just drove straight north."

"I come across as a very straightforward guy and that tends to surprise people [...] Clearly my subconscious mind must be some kind of boiling inferno."

"[Asked why he never made a film like the art house titles his company distributed: I]t's an economic situation. All of those films were made in Europe with government subsidies. Fellini, Bergman, Truffaut did not have the necessity of having to earn their money back and so they were free to do what they liked. In the US it's different. It's a money-making industry, so that's what you have to do"

"I don't know if I would say I'm an artist. [...] I would say that I'm a craftsman. I attempt to ply my trade in the best possible way. If occasionally something transcends the craft, then that's wonderful. [...] It doesn't happen very often."

"My father was an engineer and I intended to follow in his footsteps, but movies became my real passion. Careful planning is important in engineering, so I used that experience to focus on film preproduction. With the low budgets I had, I couldn't afford to have the cast and crew waiting around for days on a 10-day picture while I figured out how and what to shoot."

"It's not so much watching them but understanding how they were made – the preparation and willingness to deviate when necessary especially if you're on a low budget, I also took every film I made seriously and did my best on every one."

"The first Elm Street was such a fresh idea and it absolutely blew me away. But the second one didn’t have Wes involved and I think it suffered as a result of that. With the third one Wes and his writing partner Bruce Wagner already had a script before I came onboard. Then me and Frank Darabont did some re-writes. We thought ‘why can’t we make this film wilder and much more fun that the first one’. I realised that the heart of it was these adolescent kids. These 15/16 year old kids who are just at that age when you start to realise that bad things happen in the world. Of course, none of the adults believe the kids about Freddy so going to them always makes things worse in these films."

"Stephen Sommers certainly knew what he was doing. Indiana Jones is a hardened cynical guy with a heart of mush and Stephen created an Indiana Jones-lite, one who was a jocular guy willing to take a pie to the face, handle a gun, work in a fist fight, and handle all the requirements of an action hero. Brendan has the unique ability to take a pie to the face, let himself be in a situation where he feels overwhelmed, and then survive. This was definitely in the wheel house of Indiana Jones and always has been. It was quite conscious on Stephen’s part and now I’ve done something different with it."

"You have to not be arrogant and say you know better, and you have to not thwart their creativity because they are creative people and they have a very different point-of-view than a filmmaker on how to get people in the seats. So, it’s a balance, like everything in life, between keeping your focus and being overly constricting. So, if you want to be a filmmaker, you have to realize what a long arbiter a movie is cut of and shaped on, how many phases there are to it, and how long you have to be totally focused on your story and the movie itself, and how it seemed one way but making a film is really trench warfare."

"I staggered through my career and came out the other end, alive. I made some films that meant something to me. In my opinion, they weren’t all great, and they weren’t all successful, but they sure were ‘me’. And this is what I was going through or thinking or feeling as a director at the time, and I’m very proud of them. A lot of great directors just never had the chance to have their work appreciated and celebrated and watched, all these years after they were made. So, man, what do you want out of life? It’s great!"

"There were two times in my life that inspired me the most. The first was when I was a kid, probably the most emotionally influential time, when you’re naïve and innocent. I went to movie theaters and fell in love with genre films in the 1950s, when there was a big wave of monster movies. My passion came from the young guy who was watching The Fly back in 1958. Then, going to USC I began to watch movies in a different way and was exposed to different kinds of movies, foreign films. We had directors like Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, Howard Hawks and John Ford come down and lecture us. It was unbelievable!"

"When I think of John Carpenter, I am amazed at the fact that we take him for granted. How can we? Why should we? He is lightning in a bottle"

"I get fan mail almost every day, and lots of calls from people who say, "We’re having a party. Could you bring your rubber suit over and jump in the pool and scare everybody?.""

"I'll put it this way, it's like when you play football and you put on all the gear — the shoes and the pads and the helmet. At first, it's bulky and cumbersome. But then, when you go in the game and you start to play, you don't even know you have it on. Swimming in the suit was like that. Once you get into it, you forget about the suit."

"I think why people will love these monster films is the they are an homage to the originals, which means you’re gonna get complex characters. And the thing that I think is interesting about monsters is that they are always exaggerations of human attributes or human fears. For example, Frankenstein was a result of the kind of industrial and scientific revolution—are we playing God? Should we be playing God? And with the Wolfman there’s that worry of what happens if I lose control? What happens if I hurt the things around me that I love? There’s very human questions and worries and fears and darkness and cravings."

"I like animals, all animals. I wouldn’t hurt a cat or a dog—or a chicken or a cow. And I wouldn’t ask someone else to hurt them for me. That’s why I’m a vegetarian."

"[About why he named his daughter True and son Ocean] I want those names to be their destiny, for my daughter to be honest and my son to be expansive. I try to be like a forest, revitalizing and constantly growing. … being called Forest helped me find my identity."

"Life is full of choices, and many years ago, I chose to become a vegetarian, and it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made."

"I wanted to do a show about a character that was an innocent, and so I focused on a sea sponge because it's a funny animal, a strange one, I thought he was a funny, nerdy, squeaky-clean square."

"It finally dawned on me that if I was going to do my own show, all those things I lectured about and obsessed about would make for an interesting world."

"I think we all thought the show would be good, but I didn't ever assume it would catch on in a mass audience sort of way, that's unexpected, and we're flattered and relieved. Our characters act silly, even totally ridiculous at times, and most of our jokes don't come out of pop cultural references, he added. It seems like we're aiming at a child audience, but everyone can laugh at the basic human traits that are funny. It's playful, the humor is playful, the world is playful. You can kind of let go."

"People have to come together and realize how important our oceans are. One thing I’m hoping will come out of the documentary is the realization that the show came from something that’s precious, and that we need to appreciate it. … Hopefully, if you watch ‘SpongeBob,’ you see the plankton and the crabs and starfish, and you’ll want to take care of our oceans."

"Staying away from Hollywood didn't take much of an effort, there is a whole world in Los Angeles that's based on maneuvering. You say the right thing in interviews, you say yes to the right events and charities, and if you do it correctly you become someone they talk about. You become a player in the system and you're looked at as a professional, or dedicated, or whatever. You become a part of their thing, and they become part of yours... It's a wild web that can be weaved and there are people who love, love, love to play that game. And I'm not putting it down. But for me, it's just like pulling teeth. I just could never do it."

"This is a business that’s heavily promulgated by people who have a politically liberal bent. I don’t begrudge them that. I’m a libertarian; frankly, I think my liberalness goes far beyond theirs in a lot of ways. But yeah, we think differently, and maybe that’s cut me out of some things. I don’t care. People know I get along great with all kinds of directors, all kinds of actors. And I tell you, you hire me, I will show up, 24/7, and I will give you 100%. I will help you fix whatever problems come up. You hire me, I’m your boy. It’s just, it’s all about the work. And when that’s done, I am done."

"My mantra is “stay perpendicular.” Horizontal is not as good. Half the people that came along and up with with me are either gone to another dimension or don’t remember what they had for lunch. I’m fortunate. I don’t know why. I just want to have a good time."

"Doubt is an important part of the human being. Trust has to be attained. If you don’t trust yourself, you won’t trust others. You make a choice and see where it goes."

"I have done some films along the way that have been screwed up and not as good as they read. Some films that are not that good on the page turn into good movies. So I’m fallible is what I’m saying. It’s OK to be wrong. You learn from your wrongs. You don’t learn from being right. If you’re right, you already know it. If you’re wrong, it’s because you don’t know about it, and you made a mistake."

"I wanted to be an actor or be a director since I was a very small child. I mean, my mother went into labor at a movie theater. There were, like, four movie theaters around us when I was growing up in Austin. Movies became my babysitter. I think I saw more films than I saw reality. Then I noticed something when I was in my late teens that really made my thinking shift in what I wanted to do with film. When I was watching a film as a young man, there would be a second or two when I drifted outside of myself. I noticed how for a moment, in the image and music and train of information, I was traveling through the film, leaving myself. And I knew that was something I wanted to do. I wanted to see how long I could make that feeling go on—if I could take someone outside themselves, outside their body for a minute, five minutes, maybe even 80 minutes, 90 minutes."

"I'm not sure what this means and if it can be replicated, but we did something very unique and none of it was planned. There wasn't a $20 million marketing budget designed to make this; it just happened. The audience took the movie for its own and decided to make it an event, and that's pretty awesome. And by the way, there were people who liked the movie so much they were defending the film against people who were thrashing it. Completely mind-blowing. I've never had that happen, either."

"We do these movies in six months so there’s going to be some stuff that misses the bar in terms of looking super polished. We take what we’re doing seriously as if we’re doing one of those things. Also, we just go, “Look, we’re just going to be outlandish and crazy because that’s what these movies are.” They’re intended to be fun. However anybody wants to construe them is up to them. If they want to think that they’re bad and campy, that’s fine. What I’ve found in general though is the true fans that love these movies, they love them because they are what they are."

"Book-to-screen adaptations must always strive for two things: First, you must find a way to tell the broad story of the original plot; second, you must somehow reflect the spirit and texture of the novel—that is, you must transform a lot of words into a few pictures. All those digressions, inner monologues, thought processes, turns of phrase, all those word pictures, and especially all that un-photographable stuff that made the novel so delicious, must somehow be represented onscreen by use of the filmmaker's tools: moving pictures, dialogue and performance, sets, costumes, music and all the other tricks of the trade. That's the process a writer must go through to create a successful blueprint for a film."

"As a director, you must keep your sense of humor, your patience and, most of all, your ability to funnel the collective energies of a large group of creative people. For that, you must stay well-hydrated, well-fed, and well-rested. It's also crucial that you have a top-notch ensemble."