"Being engaged is-- you know what it's like to me? It's like being on the first part of the rollercoaster, where you'r…"

"To me, clothes spend most of their lives waiting, if you look at it. In the closet, in the hamper, in the drawer. The…"

"I really feel that that's one of the big powers of adulthood, is the ability to be totally bored and remain standing.…"

"Dads feel they know enough about the world to start their own civilization. That's what the family is to them. The fa…"

"All human endeavor is killing time. All of it."

"Now they show you how detergents get out bloodstains on television: pretty violent image, there! I think if you've go…"

"Dogs are broke their entire lives. And you know why they have no money? No pockets! They have no pockets. They see ch…"

"The fact is: almost everything is funny. You just have to have a way of looking at it."

"That's [my dad's] other big advice to me: "easy". I don't know what the hell that means. Every time we lift up someth…"

"The dumbest thing of all, I think, you can think in a New York cab is "Well, the man knows what he's doing!" "I mean,…"