"Don't take it so hard Nick, life is filled with it's little miseries, each of us in his own way must learn to deal with adversity in a mature and adult fashion. [Sneezes into hands, screams and jumps out a window]"

"[on the phone] What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger? [pause] Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition. [Hangs up] He's dead."

"Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm."

"Jeff Garlin as Jerry (uncredited)"

"Fonzworth Bentley as Salesman"

"Joel Madden as Dude with Mohawk"

"Aaron Carter as Darren (credited as "Kid")"

"Raven-Symoné as the voice of Danielle"

"Alice Greczyn as Becky"

"J. Mack Slaughter, Jr. as Arthur"

"Jeremy Suarez as the voice of Russell"

"Alphonso McAuley as Bucky"

"Aaron Frazier as Old Weird Harold"

"Jermaine Williams as Mushmouth"

"Marques Houston as Dumb Donald"

"Keith Robinson as Bill"

"Omarion as Reggie, the film's antagonist"

"Shedrack Anderson III as Rudy"

"Dania Ramirez as Lauri"

"Bill Cosby as Himself"

"Kyla Pratt as Doris"

"Kenan Thompson as Fat Albert"

"Bill Cosby: You can't stay out here. (demonstrates) You stay out here, you're gonna turn into celluloid dust."

"Fat Albert: The real world."

"Bill Cosby: You can't--"

"Fat Albert: No, I wanna stay here."

"Bill Cosby: What do you mean, you don't want to back?"

"Bill Cosby: Oh, ho-ho-ho. You know you can't do that. See, you're a cartoon. You're a cartoon, and you have your fellas waiting for you to do more stories. Your fans are waiting to see you on TV so you can solve problems."

"Fat Albert: I wanna stay."

"Bill Cosby: That's the--"

"Fat Albert: Yeah. Hey, hey, hey."

"Bill Cosby: Hey, hey, hey."

"Fat Albert: Oh, no. I don't wanna go back into the set--"

"Bill Cosby: WELL! That's just fine, son! All you have to do is you just crawl back into the set, we're ready to go--"

"Fat Albert: I... I guess so."

"Bill Cosby: Ohh. (pauses) Albert Robertson... is... Doris Robertson's grandfather. He died some time ago. I designed your character after Albert Robertson. And you heard her spirit, and you crawled through the set?"

"Fat Albert: Uh, North Philly."

"Bill Cosby: Do you know where they live?"