"So let me tell you about Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor. I picked it up 'cos the back of the box said the Kinect had finally found its hardcore game and I interpreted that as a challenge. But I've always thought Kinect combined with the controller could work in the same way a man with no arms or legs could still join in everyday life if he were strapped into a luggage trolley. The tutorial went by alright; move the vehicle with the controller and use the Kinect to operate the cockpit levers but the moment I got into an actual mission, fucking Christ, it was like jumping to Expert Free Bird on your first morning at Guitar Hero lessons. Twelve or thirteen different characters shouted conflicting orders into both my ears as enemy shells slammed into the hull and the Kinect started getting bored and acting up to the point that holding the controller any further forward than lodged uncomfortably under my ribcage caused my character to repeatedly headbutt the windscreen. "The game is un-FUCKING playable!" I said aloud. "Shame on you", came a reply, "Playing games is your job regardless of their quality. If you have any self-respect you'll stick with it." *beat* So anyway Quantum Conundrum is a game available on Steam that comes to us from Kim Swift, ex-Valve luminary who brought us the gameplay behind Portal."
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Zero Punctuation
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