"[to a security guard] Alright, Mitch, we're looking for weapons, obviously, anything that can kill a student. Knives, guns. But it's not always obvious. [to a student] Are you kidding me? You know the rule about gum! [to a female student] Raise your arms, please. [to the security guard] With the women, you want to use the backs of the hands. The backs of the hands, Mitch. Last rule. Most important rule. You're gonna wanna fuck them. Do not fuck the students, do you understand?"

"[to Bobby Funke] You seem to be a little foggy as to why I'm here, Mr. Funke. From what I understand, you've made a mockery of this entire high school. You seem to think that this is some kind of circus and that I am some kind of clown. I'm not an effing clown. And I'm not here to bring joy and love and light and laughter into your effing heart! Now I'm going to ask you one more time. And this time I expect an answer. Is...that...gum...in your mouth?"

"Reece Thompson - Bobby Funke"

"Mathematically, it's a percentage of your life: 4 years, 48 months, 1,461 days. High school is prom, football games, boyfriends, girlfriends, party at the rich kid's house. Fun, simple, wholesome. But it's really anything but. High school might be the least wholesome 4 years of your life. And there's nothing simple about it. High school is ugly, hard and complicated. As complicated as a conspiracy to assassinate the president. A conspiracy about to be uncovered..."

"Josh Pais - Señor Newell"

"Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But 10 bucks says Nietzsche never got a swirly."

"Their alibis were like dutch ovens - gamy, but air tight."

"Mischa Barton - Francesca Fachini"

"You want to know the truth about high school? You've got to break it down into its elements. Unfortunately, at St. Donovan's, the periodic table is more crooked than a case of scoliosis. Just give me the chance and I'll set it all straight. Case in point, Spanish homework. Dame un batido de esperma" does not mean, "Take me to the airport." It means, "Give me a sperm milkshake." And 22 kids gave that as an answer in Spanish 3 last week. I'm not sure about the milkshake, but somebody is sure feeding us something sticky. Every clique on campus is copying the same damn homework. Burn-outs, pretty boys, drama-dorks, jocks, debaters, player-haters, you name it. Oh, it's big, all right. And I'm on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper."

"Marc John Jefferies - Elliott Duncan"

"Zachary Booth - Rocky"

"Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees"

"Tiffany Paulsen as Suzie Donaldson"

"Amber Pawlick as young Rennie Wickham"

"Warren Munson as Admiral Robertson"

"Saffron Henderson as J.J. Jarrett"

"Sharlene Martin as Tamara Mason"

"Ace as Toby"

"Alex Diakun as Deck hand"

"Martin Cummins as Wayne Webber"

"Gordon Currie as Miles Wolfe"

"V. C. Dupree as Julius Gaw"

"Peter Mark Richman as Charles McCulloch"

"Kelly Hu as Eva Watanabe"

"Barbara Bingham as Colleen Van Deusen"

"It's like this... we live in claustrophobia, the land of steel and concrete. Trapped by dark waters. There is no escape. Nor do we want it. We've come to thrive on it and each other. You can't get the adrenaline pumping without the terror, good people. I love this town."

"Jensen Daggett as Rennie Wickham"

"Scott Reeves as Sean Robertson"

"Andie MacDowell – Enid Goldberg"

"Josh Lucas – Barry Anderson"

"Rachel Blanchard – Ms. Budge"

"Reece Thompson – Thurston Goldberg"

"I know you probably think I'm a manipulative bitch for sleeping with two guys, but try looking at it this way: the sexual revolution is just like any other revolution—there's gonna be casualties."

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. But those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean... things don't need to last forever to be perfect."

"Kat Dennings – Caroline Wexler"