"The next best thing to violence is sex. And seeing as there's nearly 500,000 single women in London, I must be in with half a chance. Especially as I'd fuck anything that's breathing."

"My granddad, old Bill Farrell, drove us to drink with his stories about the war and how he fought to put the "Great" into Britain. He said fighting at football was nothing compared to fighting with the Germans... Although, he was right. We're an island race. It's what we do best. It's not about color or race, it's just the buzz of being in the frontline. Truth is, I just love to fight."

"Getting beaten up by football hooligans is like having V.D. The fucking pain goes on forever. But that's what makes it so exciting."

"Problem was, he'd taken so many beatings on the terraces that he weren't scared of anyone. And the correct medical term for that is a "total fuckin' psycho"."

"What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it!"

"There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male, approaching 30, in a dead-end job. Casual sex, heavily cut drugs and occasionally kicking fuck out of someone."

"Jesus! I was expecting a bowl of cornflakes and a quick wank..."

"Kicked half to death, florists, cabbies, nightmares and visions; one of the old soldiers gone forever; Bright gone for a seven; and bollocks so ruptured that the only thing I'll be pulling for months is a chain. After all that you really do have to ask yourself if it was all worth it... course it fucking was!"

"What else you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in ya fucking armchair wanking off to Pop Idols? then try and avoid your wife's gaze struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away. Love it!"

"Once upon a time, I did get fuckin' done in, me and the lads went up to Dundee, and we got turned over by the two psychos known as the Carlin cousins, they fuckin' sliced and diced through our whole squad, and then a squad of old bill, and three police horses couldn't stop them. They're fuckin' insane."

"You fucking little mug!"

"I've never fucking liked you, you little cunt. Do you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking I should take you outside and open you up."

"We'll get the beers safe and then we'll outflank 'em, yeah?"

"U fucking wanking off"

"C'mon, jog on!"

"Are you tryin' to mug me off in front of my pals?"

"Don't fuck about, ping him!"

"Adie, driving cars that don't belong to them, at 90 miles an hour, on the wrong side of the road, is just starting to take the fucking piss!"

"Ronnie Williams - Mr. Mort"

"Buddug Williams - Mrs. Mort"

"Morgan Hopkins - Chip Roberts"

"Brian Hibbard - Dai Rhys"

"Sue Roderick - Lucy Cartwright"

"Jenny Evans - Bonny Cartwright"

"William Thomas - Bryn Cartwright"