"Satan: Now, that was an experience. 'You are only coming through in waves.' That line blows my mind every time. I don't care what mood you're in the start of that song. When it's finished, that mood had been altered."

"Frank Sivero as Alumni Hall Announcer"

"Demon: Popeyes Chicken is the shiznit!"

"Carl Weathers as Chubbs Petersen (playing his character from Happy Gilmore)"

"Dan Marino as Himself"

"Ozzy Osbourne as Himself"

"Basketball audience member: Now that was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!"

"Stanley: You can't go through there! The fire flows in, not out! [Cassius and Adrian go through fire gate] You really suck!"

"Leah Lail as Christa, Holly's best friend"

"Be Unafraid. Be Very Unafraid."

"Priest/Adrian: In today's gospel, the Lord tells us how we should live if we wish to attain the splendor of Heaven…or something like that. Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat! [hums a silly tune]"

"Regis Philbin as Himself"

"Adam Sandler as Nicky"

"John Farley as Human Dartboard"

"Hey, Nicky. Cover Winkler in bees. You can do it!"

"Rob Schneider as the Townie (playing his character from The Waterboy)"

"Peeper: I think Victoria just told me her Secret."

"He's Never Been to Earth, He's Never Even Slept Over Another Dude's House!"

"Stanley: Now, you're going to see what a big, horny bird actually looks like. In Hell!"

"You can do it, Ozzy! Bite his freaking head off!"

"Clint Howard as Andrew "Nipples""

"John Witherspoon as the Street Vendor"

"Robert Smigel as the voice of Mr. Beefy"

"Ten points off from the Globetrotters on account of the bigmouth!"

"Hit the half-time buzzer. I'm tired."

"Blake Clark as Jimmy the Demon"

"Who gives a shit?"

"Lewis Arquette as Cardinal"

"Rodney Dangerfield as Lucifer Schear, Nicky's paternal grandfather"

"Peter Dante as Peter, Nicky's best friend"

"He's walking! Get him a bus!"

"Dana Carvey as the referee (Whitey Duvall)"

"Guess what, cornrows? Technical foul! You're out of here!"

"Get that crap out of here!"

"[alternate ending; noticed Nicky has a son] He has filled his seed! He's multiplying! Beware the spawn of the unholy union! We're all gonna die!"

"Jonathan Loughran as John, Nicky's best friend"

"Kevin Nealon as Stanley the Gatekeeper"

"Jon Lovitz as Peeper (singing the same tune as was sung by his character in The Wedding Singer)"

"[after sensing Nicky's presence again] Why do you taunt me with your darkness!? You're evil! It's stinking up our streets! The end is near! We are all going to die—[slams into a lightpost and falls]…We will meet again, Lucifer…"

"Even in Hell, I get no respect."

"Easy, don't choke."

"The shit has hit the fan, kid! Take a look."

"[after sensing Nicky's flying above the city] The hell beast is above us! And I can smell the evil slut!"

"Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you've got to use a toilet."

"[after firing an arrow at Adrian through his genitals] Now, that hurt the both of us."

"Tommy "Tiny" Lister, Jr. as Cassius, Nicky's older half-brother"