"Bobby Moynihan as Dr. Turfenpeltz, Handy Man, Pablo, Fake Santa Claus/Animal Control, Hotwings, Toolbox, Teleportation Larry, Made Man, Ricky Finn, Paul, The Wombat, The Gopher King, The Blinker, Mr. Balloon, The Three Dopes, Bird Master, Globo, Greg"

"Colin Quinn as Elliot Levy-Apelstein"

"Kate McKinnon as Lola Gold/The Agravator, Mademoiselle Hunchback"

"Maya Rudolph as Lady Malocchio"

"Will Forte as Giuseppe Malocchio Jr."

"Bill Hader as Dr. Giuseppe Malocchio"

"Rashida Jones as Hotwire/Metal Fella, Other Hotwire"

"Bobby Lee as Tim/Sumo, Bad Dragon"

"Kenan Thompson as Impresario, Mrs. Sullivan, Impresario Clone, The Conjurer"

"Paula Pell as Gadget Gal, Mercenary Moll"

"Taran Killam as Frantic, Black Irish, Kid Meth"

"Emily Spivey as Concierge, Infobitch"

"Ike Barinholtz as Muscleman, Czechmate"

"Seth Meyers as Prock, Professor Astounding"

"Rachel Dratch as Joyce Mandrake/Fireplug, Tom Boy"

"Josh Meyers as Perfect Man, Flying Dutchman"

"– Aunt Bernice/Aunt Beverly/Beatrice"

"– Cornfed Pig"

"– Eric T. Duckman"

"/ – Charles"

"Will Arnett – BoJack Horseman"

"Aaron Paul – Todd Chavez"

"Paul F. Tompkins – Mr. Peanutbutter"

"Alison Brie – Diane Nguyen"

"Amy Sedaris – Princess Carolyn"

"(Drunk) Grandpa... this tower isn't evil... it's good!"

"Sierra:: (ashamed of her father about Emerson) This is all your fault, Emerson is probably boiling in a pot right now. Larry:: Don't think that way honey maybe they grilled him (as his daughter glares at him) or setting him free in the ocean paradise, I bet that's it."

"Kate: (notices beer bottles on table) What the..? Dad, were you playing poker in front of the kids? Sarmoti: No sweetheart. I'm a drunkard, you know that. Kate: Whatever."

"Larry: I don't know if I can do this... Sarmoti: With my help you can. Because as a lion you've got it here and here (prods his head and chest) Larry: (chuckles) That tickles! Sarmoti: You sure you're all lion? Maybe a chimp shmock your grandma?"

"Sierra:: (Catnip is dropped next to her) What's that? Kate:: Don't play dumb, this isn't a game. It's Catnip. (opens book) Or as you and your friends may call it, Monkey Junk, Street Cheese or... Siamese Colesaw. Sierra:: What? You think that's mine? Larry:: We found it in your room. Sierra:: Oh my god... you searched my room? What happened to privacy? Larry:: We saw a movie about A LION THAT DROVE A TRUCK! We're not going to let that happen to you."

"Roy:: (Reading a cue card) As you all know, the 3rd World War has left the world a barren wasteland. Siegfried:: No, no! This one is for the lions. For their gift! Roy:: Oh yeah... Dear Larry and Kate. We wanted to bring you the perfect gift, something you would use everyday. Please be enjoying this delightful Scandanavian Tea Service. Hopefully you will have us over for tea...soon. Siegfried:: Very soon."

"Shop Assistant:: I don't know how to make this more clear. We don't sell gifts for White Lions. Roy:: I see. Congratulations on being a racist."

"Elephant:: Fact. I am Lucy, from Lucy in the sky with diamonds. You don't know this because that damn McCartney takes all the credit! Larry:: You're Lucy? But you're a guy. Elephant:: It was a difficult time for all of us."

"Sarmoti: ...But the zebra wouldn't die. I raked him with my claws... he jumped back up! I crushed him with boulders... he sprang back to life! Finally... I pushed him off a cliff. He lay there... lifeless. His blood black in the moonlight. It was done. (falls backwards. Hunter shakes with fear) It's alive! (springs back up holding dead zebra rug) Zombie Zebra!"

"Sarmoti:: Look, Kate she's beautiful now, but let's face it. She has a genetic pre-disposition to take up space (pokes Larry) Larry:: (sarcastically laughs) I'll remember that when you're begging for your heart medication."

"Why are you talking like a black man from 1991?"

"If only there was a symbol of mob anger! (Looks at torches and pitchforks) ROCKS!"