"Writing a defense of Sam Peckinpah’s The Osterman Weekend is doomed to failure if your goal is to prove that it’s a great movie, because it’s not. It’s clumsy, it’s poorly edited, and it takes too long to get going. But if I’ve been overzealous in trying to make it sound better than it really is, it’s only because 20 years of critics — including some of Peckinpah’s biggest defenders — have busied themselves trying to make it sound worse than it really is. It’s an accomplished film with excellent performances and extremely memorable scenes, and all the attributes a discriminating viewer would expect from a Sam Peckinpah project. He may not have gone out at the very top of his game, but neither did he go out at the bottom; when he had to go, he went down swinging."

"The first reaction was the movie was bad, and the received wisdom is that it’s worse. Peckinpah, however, was always a foe of received wisdom, and this is why: The Osterman Weekend isn’t a terrible movie. It’s not even a bad movie. It’s certainly not a great movie, but its status as the movie that literally and figuratively buried him is entirely unjust. Like Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, it’s a misunderstood, underrated film that deserves a second look, if not a complete reassessment. ... The Osterman Weekend’s themes are exactly the kind that are best suited to its convoluted, complicated story. It’s about paranoia and distrust and desperation. It’s about panic and confusion and betrayal. It’s not about reality; it’s about perception."

"Think of them as fleas on a dog hit by a car driven by a drunken teenager whose girlfriend just gave him the clap. It will help you sense of perspective."

"[the RV has just exploded, killing all four inside as Osterman and Tanner watch] And then there were two."

"I know Maxwell Danforth very well; he killed my wife. Not with his bare hands, of course. The Danforths of the world don't murder that way. They use words like terminate, exterminate."

"What you've just witnessed is, in many ways, a life-sized video game. You saw a liar talk to a killer and you couldn't tell them apart. But hey, it's only television. As you may know, television programs are just the filler between attempts to steal your money. So if you want to save some, turn me off. It's a simple movement, done with the hand and what is left of your free will. The moment is now. My bet is you can't do it. But go ahead and try. [pause] Am I still on?"

"Cheech Marin - Belini"

"Willem Dafoe - Barillo"

"Rubén Blades - Jorge Ramirez"

"Julio Oscar Mechoso - Advisor"

"Marco Leonardi - Fideo"

"Enrique Iglesias - Lorenzo"

"Danny Trejo - Cucuy"

"Eva Mendes - Ajedrez"

"Mickey Rourke - Billy"

"Johnny Depp - Sands"

"Salma Hayek - Carolina"

"Antonio Banderas - El Mariachi"

"You know that with-holding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offense. Especially, when that officer has paid handsomely for it and I wouldn’t think twice about ripping that patch off your eye hole and skull fucking you to death."

"[on the phone] Listen, I have got a swell buncha guys intercepting Marquez's army but they've got no guns! Now listen, I want you to understand me. This is no time to screw the pooch because this is supposed to be the big dance number alright? Hello? Hello you there? OK Ok I'm gonna freak right out!"

"[caught on the top floor of the hotel by Marquez's men] Any suggestions, Ms. "Why don't we get a room on the 5th floor so we can see the beautiful sunset"?"

"It's nice to have a little talk before the Bang-Boom."

"I like hair. It's pleasant. It's peaceful. No one gets hurt."

"I like this, being inside the outside."

"I bang your mother one more time, then we go disco."

"You know, you shouldn't jump around when this nice woman is holding a sharp pair of scissors. If you move she could slip and slice your jugular vein, on accident. There is no way to stitch the jugular. All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes. I have seen this. I have done this. You don't want this."

"I just want to make hair silky-smooth."

"Danny Aiello - Tommy Five-Tone"

"Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk"

"Watch your step. Hold your breath. Hang on for dear life. And catch...the hawk."

"Catch the Excitement. Catch the Adventure. Catch the Hawk."

"Shy. Sensitive. Law-abiding. Polite. Respectful. - I don't think so."

"For this cat burglar, nine lives may just not be enough."

"Catch the excitement. Catch the laughter. Catch the Hawk."

"Cardinal (in a confessional) Hit me with your best shot."

"Cardinal The Vatican has foiled the advances of pirates and terrorists. We will not lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey."

"(his dying words) MY PENSION!"

"We blow up space shuttles for breakfast. You and your friend Tommy are nothing more than... a late afternoon Triscuit. Ciao."

"Punks. They think that the "Bay of Pigs" is an herbal tea and that the Cold War has something to do with penguins."

"God, I miss Communism. The Red threat. People were scared, the Agency had some respect, and I got laid every night."

"Eureka, motherfuckers!"