"“It doesn’t make much sense, does it?” my darling whispered to me. “People go at the oddest times and from the oddest causes.” “Soldiers live,” I muttered. “You’re turning that into a mantra.” “You feel guilty. You wonder why him and not me, then you’re glad it was him and not you, then you feel guilty. Soldiers live. And wonder why.”"
January 1, 1970
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Glen_Cook