"This is Donnie Lou's Fever Juice. It is rated at just under a quarter million Scoville units. Now, when I find the demands of life to be challenging, I take a "wee drop." The more challenging, the higher the Scoville units. [fills a tiny teacup with hot sauce] But the trick, you see, that I've taught myself, is to never allow my eyes to tear up. One completely honest thing... if you really knew me, you'd despise me even more than you do."