"Derby announcer: All right folks! Hang on to your chili dogs, 'cuz its time to start The Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium Amateur Driver Ultimate Destruction Maximum Carnage Marathon! Let's meet our crash-cage gladiators! That mysterious-looking hooded figure wouldn't give us his real name... He prefers to be known as "The Unknown Avenger" and that's just fine with us, isn't it folks. And next to him is another newcomer! Please give a big Smash-A-Torium salute to Princess of Pileup, Doreen Schmorley! ...and finally, we have a last minute addition to the lineup tonight. A deadly looking team known as the "The Boom Boom Brothers". Alright now, are you ready to see some WREAKLESS DRIVING? Are you raedy to see some UNNECCESSARILY VIOLENT DESTRUCTION?"