"Good God. Horror, horror, horror! Tongue nor heart; cannot conceive or name thee! May all the trumpets speak; give them all breath, Those clamorous harbingers of blood and death! With me, you will be learning English. Not the, uh... rapturous ramblings of some self-obsessed literary queen. Exhibit one: Henry James. Exhibit two: Virginia Woolf and Agatha Christie. Frustrated sex-crazed carpet munchers with underarm firm. Don't get me wrong, boys; I have nothing against lesbians, nothing at all. In fact, I'd like to give them all a jolly good Rogerie."