Webcomics

"Marten: I, uh, no. I didn't."

"Faye: Oh my god you're an idiot."

"Emily [holding her hands up to her head like a pair of antennae]: That means there's a 1-in-4 chance that anyone you meet is SECRETLY A BEETLE."

"Dale [covering his head with his pillow]: NOPE"

"Marten: This is gonna sound weird, but I'm glad you didn't have a reason."

"Faye: That's *snrk* terrible."

"May: Nice to see you too, ass-dick."

"Dale: You pay rent. You help clean. And if you do or say ANYTHING to hurt Marigold -"

"Emily: I was up all night reading about beetles."

"Marten: I... see."

"Dale: SHIT"

"May: Creating Nice_List.txt. Entering "Marigold". Saving and closing."

"Veronica: So, the exact opposite of our wedding, then?"

"May: M-master! Wait!"

"May: Gee I dunno, maybe she doesn't like you because you HARASSED her over a goddamn VIDEO GAME."

"Dora: I haven't been laid since I broke up with MARTEN. I had a dream last night where I got into a fight with my vulva because it was MAD at me."

"Faye: You want REALLY cheap rent, move to the South. You can get a nice apartment in Savannah just by smilin' at the right people."

"Marten: Emily kissed me on the cheek."

"Dora: It WAS! My vulva and I are normally FRIENDS! And it's not normally 8 feet tall and swinging a baseball bat at my head!"

"Emily: Did you know that beetles comprise 25 percent of ALL KNOWN ANIMAL LIFE FORMS?"

"May: Hey buddy! It's me! May!"

"Claire: Oh no, have I started an arms race?"

"Bubbles: That is an... alarming endorsement."

"Marten: You're blushing. I didn't know moms could blush."

"Marten: And besides, if this works out I could end up with three dads! That's so many dads!"

"Momo [to Dale and Marigold]: Why, look at that! You are both eating the same flavor of beef jerky! Do you know what that means?"

"Dale: What's it mean?"

"Veronica: I recommend fucking. You're too tired to fight afterwards."

"Samantha: If... if your mom and my dad get married, we'd be sister and brother."

"Marten: Claire, you do crowd control while I go get her Ativan. Don't be afraid to use the sword if you have to."

"Marten: I was being rhetorical."

"Veronica: I hope Faye and Angus are okay."

"Claire [holding the sword]: Can I keep this? It makes me feel... powerful."

"Marten: Step-siblings, yeah."

"Tai and Claire: IT WOULD BE JUST LIKE A ROMANTIC COMEDY"

"Momo [with her electronic self-defense mechanism activated]: It means I am taking you to the diner so you can eat something at least APPROXIMATING an actual meal."

"Marten: They're either fuckin' or fightin'."

"Hannelore: I'm paralyzed by the responsibility! Isn't that great?!"

"Angus: That sounds disturbingly literal, coming from you."

"Faye: That's why I'm not gonna tell you to break a leg."

"Tai: What, you don't think your mom would go for it?"

"Marten: I think she might. That's the problem."

"Faye: This is your dream. I want you to achieve it. Now go down there and knock 'em dead."

"Marten: I'm not upset. I'm... look, imagine if YOUR mom just showed up unannounced one day."

"Hannelore: Hey Marten! Faye and Dora left me in charge of the shop! Isn't that great?"

"Dale: Glasses, google "why would an AnthroPC need to go to the bathroom.""

"Wil: He died of cancer."

"Marten: Uh, yeah, but what's with the huge line of people?"

"Veronica: I'm pretty sure the whale-phallus door knocker would keep her out."

"Samantha: I call dibs on the front seat in the car."