"Okay, there's food in the fridge, this is the oven-- but don't use it! That's the microwave over there, that's for heating up food, but be very careful. This is the can opener... but I prefer you not eat canned food. The dishwasher... I like to keep it lying up. And this is... [picks up a piece of paper] Barbara, next door, this is her number; she has a spare key to the house, even though she shouldn't. Donald, [points] over there across the street... um, but we had a feud, so don't call him. There's fire, police... 911, which you know... Poison Control Center... yeah, um, you can call them, they'll come, OR just drink milk... Uh, my phone number, my cellphone number, Mr. Covner's number, his cellphone number... My number again, just so it'll be down twice, for safety... And, uh, [points] don't go in that room."

"Don't say the word "fuck"!"

"Your fiancée isn't Bridget, she's Mary... and she's not your fiancée, she's a whore, and a corporate spy. And now where would Bridget, who's actually Mary, who's also a spy, who's actually not your fiancée, put some envelope that everybody wants?"

"No no no no no, don't protect her! Alright? No names, no codenames, other names... none of that name shit."

"[Locked in the trunk of her car.] Help me! I'm not who you think I am! Please, please, you have to believe me! My name is Bridget! NOT... MARYYY! Ooh, I've got ERRANDS to DO!"

"You're a tutor. No one cares what you look like. Here, just... [pushes clothes into Gabrielle's arms] ...put these on, and leave."

"[To Charles Covner, after shooting him.] You alright? You okay? [pats Charles' shoulder] Hmm?"

"Augh...! I'm itchy... I itch...!"

"[On the phone with Carter.] What, are you, like, pranking me? 'M gonna be real funny when I karate prank your fucking face!"

"Bridget! This towel is weird!"

"[To Gabrielle.] You're-- getting my karate gi wet!"

"But come on, Kaufman! Who the hell DOESN'T look and sound like you?"

"I mean, i got it mostly right, right? I mean, it sounds right, it feels right, FUCK, it IS right!"

"Charles' noble acts, however, had naughty results. And nastier results for Wendy, because as we know, in the end, she cradled her dead hubby, all because some karate novice in a karate gi, with a green karate belt killed him, and then stood there deliriously unsure how he executed a man he never even knew."

"And let's not forget what probalistically happened... to the Covners. Wendy... Charles... Who, as we remember inductively, were driving their car, but to where?"

"Confused? Oh, fuck! I didn't end it right!"

"[Alone, driving her car.] What the fuck's that? ...Anybody heard it?"

"I knew we owned a blue car!"

"The envelope? It turned out to be a false lead, a red... herring."

"Lucy! You better not be fucking around. I mean it. I need you to get on the phone... with your mom... prove to her that you exist, that you're good in English, that I'm tutoring, and we're fine! Now! I need you to get on the phone now!"

"[To Lucy's parents.] There's no reason to overreactivate. Lucy's in the shower, you can count on me!"

"Six... five... three... two... Oh, I've had enough of this shit. Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"[To Lucy.] Your mother pays me to help you because I'm quantified to help you."

"I... don't know the relative details, only the ones that matter."

"[About Lucy.] She's probably definitely sad because she can't go to the funeral."

"[To Mary.] And, uh... my roommate stole my car, or... I lost it, I don't know, but... all I know is I'm later than fuck."

"What do you mean, overnight? Like... stay over the night? Probably... no, not probably gonna happen. No way. No!"

"Getting back to me, my feelings are these: Logicalistically... I can't babysit anymore!"

"[Scoffs.] Babysit? You're joking. No. No! I'm a tutor, I don't... I don't even look like a babysitter anymore."

"[About the location of her car keys.] I have 20/20 on these things. And things tell me... [Turns to look to the living room] ...that they're behind the couch."

"[At Bridget's suggestion that her car keys may be in her room, in her desk.] No, wait. That was, like, simple logic, it would never be that easy! [Scoffs.] Desk... What do I look like, a fucking paraplegic?"

"[To Eddie.] You have a temperature of at least three or four hundred!"

"[To Mary.] See... logicalistically... I can tell from your eyes that you're lying. How does that make you and Jesus feel?"

"You have to tell it in a certain way, so that it sounds right... so it sounds realistical."

"If you want it told right... about me, the girl I lost that night... with all the facts, and all the drama... then the beginning's where I'll start."

"[To Lucy, lifting up her shirt to expose her abdomen.] This one right here is a scar from when a piece of glass cut right into me. Inside me, it went right inside me, it cut inside me, right inside the baby."