"Sometimes the greatest change brings about even greater opportunity! Look at you, Lawrence. You left this place and created quite a life for yourself."

"Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them."

"[to Oscar] You don't seem to be evil, you seem to be more of a grouch. [Darth Vader holds his hand up with a pinching motion] What is that? What is that? What does it mean? I don't know... you've lost me. Is that your breathing? Because I can't hear myself think. [pause] Let me tell you kindly, just simplify. There's too much going on! You're not evil, you're asthmatic, and what's with the cape? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Goodbye! [Darth Vader and Oscar the Grouch leave]"

"Kim De Angelo - the Mother"

"Henrik Henrickson - Russian Lieutenant #2"

"Euan MacDonald - Russian Lieutenant #1"

"John Sarkisian - the Russian General"

"Nathaniel Bresler - Rusty Cleaver"

"Rheagan Wallace - Peggy Cleaver"

"Lora Witty - Harriet Cleaver"

"Dan Barton - Ward Cleaver"

"Gabrille Pimenter - Little Man"

"Richard McGuire - the Cantina owner"

"Paul Szopa - Bowler #3"

"Kareem - Bowler #2"

"Monti Ellison - Head Pin Pal"

"George L. Casillas - Mariachi, a parody of Ritchie Valens"

"Stephane Gauger - Death, a parody of Slash"

"Justin McGuire as the Kid"

"Jeffrey Falcon as Buddy, a parody of Buddy Holly"

"All Superheroes Wear Glasses..."

"Vegas Needs A New King"

"Satellite DJ: You're listening to K-LOST, home of the Apocalypse. The call in question of the day is, who will be the new king? I'm sending in an ICBM across the wasteland for all of you on the yellow brick road to Vegas looking for a hero. If you find one send him my way, baby."

"Russian General: I do not like rock-and-roll music. This is too loud! I like folk music, soft, nice music, huh? Polka, waltz, anything!"

"That's a pretty nice tuxedo. A pretty nice tuxedo to DIE IN!"

"[as Buddy arrives at Ward Cleaver's property] How they hell are ya', boy? Hey, you finished payin' off that new Plymouth of yours? I tell ya', I sure hope to HELL you didn't go to one of those boys on the lot. They see you comin' a mile away, ready to EAT you alive! Those Plymouth dealers will tell ya' they're cuttin' you a break, when all they're doin' is just fattenin' ya' up for the slaughter."

"Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me!"

"[Tired of the kid bawling and being a nuisance] I wonder where I could trade the kid for a ratchet?"

"You still there? [Marks a line on the ground with his katana] Cross that line, kid, I'll cut your little teddy bear in half. Last kid that crossed that line, I had to summon up the Spinach Monster with my rock 'n' roll magic. The Spinach Monster grabbed him, pulled him underground and made him eat spinach all day. Rumor has it, kid... he's still there."

"Float away, little butterfly. Just flutter away. I got a gig in Vegas. And the wastelands ain't no place for kids."

"What are you lookin' at? You look up at the sky, you look down on the ground, but you don't look at me, kid. Got it?"

"In 1957, the bomb dropped, and the Russians took over what was America. The last bastion of freedom became a place called Lost Vegas, and Elvis was crowned King. After forty rockin' years, The King is dead. Every guitar picking, sword swinging opportunist, including Death himself, hears the call echoing across the wastelands... Vegas needs a new King."

"[looking into the cockpit] This is some cool shoot, fit for a real nerve."

"John Witherspoon - Blind Man"

"Method Man - Muggsy"

"Arielle Kebbel - Heather Hunkee"

"Sayed Badreya - Middle Eastern Passenger"

"Sofía Vergara - Blanca"

"Gary Anthony Williams - Flame"

"Snoop Dogg - Captain Mack"