"Mike Dexter is an asshole. For the past decade, he has made a hobby of my pain. Witness exhibit A: my eighth grade science project - a working rain forest that Mike threw out a third floor window. It rains here no more. Witness exhibit B: an eye patch I wore for a month after Mike beaned me with a raisin in home ec. My parents took me to a 3D film festival; I saw no third dimension. And of course, how can I forget the pudding incident? I know no one else has. Well gentlemen, tonight Mike Dexter will know humiliation. Tonight Mike Dexter will know ridicule. Tonight is the night we fight back. Tonight is our independence night."

"You see the salt on this pretzel? Look at the stars. Some people, they say the stars are billions and billions of tons of hot gas. But I think maybe, maybe it's just God's salt. And God's just waiting to eat us."

"[narrating] It was October, freshman year. First time in history that I'd ever missed the bus. If I had arrived on time, I never would've seen her. But as it was, I was the first person at Huntington Hills High to set eyes on Amanda Beckett. It was her first day at school. Then, I'm sitting in class enjoying a late breakfast when out of all the classrooms in the entire school, she walks into mine. And where does the teacher sit her? Right next to me! Now, up until now, one could write this off to coincidence. But then she reaches in her bag and pulls out a strawberry Pop-Tart - the very same breakfast pastry I was consuming at that moment! What was I to do? How was I to proceed?"

"All right this is it. It is finally time for Kenny Fisher to become... da man. Now I've done my laps, and all ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo. Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?"

"[after he spilled water on his pants] Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!"

"Angel Stripper: Fate. There is fate. But it only takes you so far, because once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen."

"Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's the future. Tonight's the party!"

"An event eighteen years in the making."

"For the class of 1998, the last night of high school is the first night of the rest of their lives."

"Jennifer Love Hewitt — Amanda Beckett"

"Phyllis Newman as Faith's mother"

"Denise Du Maurier as Dwayne's mother"

"Dina Morrone as Shoe Show Announcer"

"Siobhan Fallon as Leslie"

"John Benjamin Hickey as Dwayne, Faith's fiancé"

"Adam LeFevre as the real Damon Bradley"

"Billy Zane as Harry, the false Damon Bradley"

"Bonnie Hunt as Kate Corvatch"

"Antonia Rey as Fortune teller"

"Robert Downey Jr. as Peter Wright"

"Only you can make this world seem right Only you can make the darkness bright Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do and fill my heart with love for only you."

"Only you can make this change in me for it's true, you are my destiny When you hold my hand I understand the magic that you do You're my dream come true my one and only you."

"It is total fantasy, light as a feather, contrary to all notions of common sense, it features a couple of stars who are really good kissers — and it takes place mostly in Venice, Rome, and the glorious Italian hillside town of Positano. What more do you want? Movies like this were once written for Katharine Hepburn (Summertime), Audrey Hepburn (Roman Holiday) and Rossano Brazzi (Three Coins in the Fountain). Or remember Clark Gable and Sophia Loren in It Happened in Naples? There is a case to be made that no modern actors have quite the innocence or the faith to play such heedless lovers, but Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. somehow manage to lose all the baggage of our realistic, cynical age, and give us a couple of fools in love."

"I married a liar. Why? Because I married a man."

"I hope you're happy! I hope you're very happy! I don't believe in anything anymore! I don’t believe in the moon or the stars, or the sun … or destiny or magic — or MEN!"

"I was born to kiss you."

"I'm Damon Bradley."

"Only You gives us two people who should fall in love and live happily together for the rest of their days. They know it, we know it, and all of their friends know it. We also know with a confidence bordering on certainty that they will fall in love. And so there is a special kind of movie pleasure in watching them pigheadedly postpone their bliss — especially when they do it on Italian locations lovingly photographed by Sven Nykvist. I can think of many angst-laden young Hollywood stars, many of them accomplished actors, who could not have come within miles of the work done by Downey and Tomei in this movie. There is craft involved, yes, and even a certain inspiration, but what I reacted to more strongly was an ineffable sense of good nature: Tomei and Downey seem happy in their being here, and happier together than apart. That it what must be present if we're to respond to a story like this."

"I can't believe you're gonna let a few little letters of the alphabet keep us apart. It is a detail! Just — look, just call me Damon, okay? It'll be like a nickname."

"Tammy Minoff as young Faith"