First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Ain't nobody can play dead like me, Ernest."
"Ernest, I'm in the morgue."
"Ernest, my ass...I can see... my ass!"
"(after seeing herself transformed from drinking the potion) I'm a girl!"
"Oh, for Christ's sake. At least lie quickly!"
"Ernest is dead? Everybody's dead!"
"You're dressed. Special occasion?"
"Wrinkled, wrinkled little star, hope they never see the scars."
"No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump some place."
"They say there's nothing new under the sun. But under the ground..."
"Richard Marcus as Nestor Cunningham"
"Robert Jayne (credited as "Bobby Jacoby") as Melvin Plug"
"Victor Wong as Walter Chang"
"Michael Gross - Burt Gummer"
"Finn Carter - Rhonda LeBeck"
"Fred Ward - Earl Bassett"
"Kevin Bacon - Valentine "Val" McKee"
"I broke down and fell to the sidewalk, screaming to my pregnant wife, 'I can't believe I'm doing a movie about underground worms!"
"Walter Chang: Earl. Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets."
"Rhonda LeBeck: Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?"
"[handing out weapons and refusing to give Melvin one] I wouldn't give you a gun if it were World War Three!"
"[Burt Gummer looks at his bomb shelter for perhaps the last time] Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! (long sigh) ...underground. God damn monsters."
"[Burt Gummer, with his wife Heather at his side, berates the dead monster fought off with their "family arsenal"] Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya you bastard!"
"Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails!"
"Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!"
"[To Melvin after he scares Earl by throwing his basketball at him] You little asswipe! You don't knock it off you're gonna be shittin' this basketball... pardon my French!"
"[To Val] Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses."
"Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixby's already dead."
"Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?"
"[repeated line] Pardon my French!"
"I'll tell you. Nobody handles garbage better than we do."
"I've got a goddamn plan!"
"We decided to leave town just one damn day too late!"
"That's how they get ya. They're under the goddamned GROUND!"
"[to Earl] Who died and made you Einstein?"
"[to Rhonda] GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!"
"This valley is just one long smorgasbord."
"Hey guys, I think I've found the ass end!"
"[hearing music from below ground] So where the hell's that goddamn golden oldie comin' from?"
"What the hell is going on? I mean what the hell is going on?!"
"[looking at Old Fred's messed-up corral with chunks of dead sheep lying on the ground] What the shit?"
"I can't believe we said no to free beer!"
"We plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now, Earl explained it to me."
"Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass."
"Rupert Everett - George"
"Cameron Diaz - Kimmy Wallace"
"Carrie Preston - Amanda Newhouse"
"Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter"
"Dermot Mulroney - Micheal O'Neal"
"Rachel Griffiths - Samantha Newhouse"