Talent Tv Shows

"This is not a game, this is a 12 week job interview (Sir Alan's opening line at the opening credits of Series 2)"

"Paul Kemsley: And what's my body language telling you? Saira Khan: Well, I would say that you're not very convinced by me... Paul Kemsley: No, you're right. I'm not completely convinced."

"(The second firing) Sir Alan Sugar: Well if we're different then Paul,then maybe you've just answered it for me. Because I can't afford to gamble on you Paul. As experienced as I am, I've got to listen to what other people are saying to me, and there's too many vibes coming through to me that say Paul, I'm gonna have to let you go. You're Fired. (Slight pause) Paul Torrisi: Do you know? Before I came here, I didn't know a single person that had a bad word to say about me and I've taken nothing but criticism in the whole time that I've been here. Why is that? That I don't know anyone with a bad word to say about me, yet here I haven't got a single person to say a good word about me. Apart from the people that I've lived in the house with. Sir Alan Sugar: Why's that a good question? (Paul struggles to answer) Well go away and think about it. Paul Torrisi: Well, I've got nothing better to do now, have I?"

"(The first firing) Sir Alan Sugar: James, you haven't convinced me. I don't think you're a long term player for me to be perfectly honest, that's my... that's my only reason. I think you've been excellent, very professional. I'm letting you go, You're Fired."

"Paul Torrisi: Yes, I am Italian. I do have a temper... Margaret Mountford: That's not an excuse for having a temper."

"Flashback Bordan Tkachuk: Well, you tell me. It's called The Apprentice. Flashback Paul Torrisi: Yes, we've come here to be apprentices to Sir Alan... Flashback Bordan Tkachuk: Mm-hm? Flashback Paul Torrisi: But by that same token, I think he wants someone with some experience. (back in the boardroom) Bordan Tkachuk: I think he got confused, I don't think he knows he's here to be an apprentice. I think he's here, in fact, to be your troubleshooter. To put all your wrongs and ills to right. Sir Alan Sugar: Trouble maker, maybe."

"(The beginning of the very first interviews and the introduction of the interviewers) Sir Alan Sugar: You may be wondering what we're going to get up to today and you may also be wondering about some of these new faces that you see here. Now what's going to happen here is, is that you lot are going to go through a grueling interview. And at the end of the interview session, they're going to sit down with me and they're going to give me their opinion about whether any of you are worthy of working for me. Nick and Margaret are very well known to you. (the camera focuses on Sir Alan's troubleshooter Claude Littner who stands in the middle.) Now Claude, he's actually been in Denmark for me, he's been in Paris, he actually ran Tottenham Hotspur for quite a while, that's why he's lost a bit of hair. (Claude smiles vaguely. On Claude's right is Bordan Tkachuk) Bordan has been in Australia, he's been in Italy and currently runs our computer organization at Viglen. (The camera focuses finally on Paul Kemsley) Now Paul doesn't actually work for me but he's associated with me, okay? He's a very successful businessman in his own right. And he's here to give me a view from a younger perspective."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Viscoelastic foam? What a load of bollocks. What a pile of tat that is there, honestly. A lump of bloody foam for a hundred and fifty-four pounds. I'll tell you what son, you sell any of them, you're a bloody good salesman, that's all I can say. (about James and Saira's airbed choice, which then went on to sell extremely well)"

"Sir Alan Sugar: (to Ben before firing him) You say in your CV "in my career I win all the time." Well I tell you, this time you haven't won. 'Cause this time, You're Fired!"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Paul, why shouldn't I fire you?"

"Paul Torrisi: We never bought the bloody venison; we were over at the bloody printers!"

"Sir Alan Sugar: (in the first "With regret" firing) Sebastian, you're the one that's worried me the most today. People tend to seem to take the characteristics of their products I think, I personally have always been a very "Bang, bang, get stuff made, that's Amstrad." That's me, good quality products, a bit rough and ready. I see you more as a Cartier and Rolls Royce man to be perfectly frank and it's with regret that I'm going to tell you: You're Fired."

"Paul Torrisi: I am a Roman Catholic and God is my witness: I shook her hand outside. Sir Alan Sugar: Yeah? Well, I'm Jewish and I couldn't care less."

"Sir Alan Sugar: You should have stuck to Mac Man like shit to a blanket."

"Paul Torrisi: There's a slight pause, and then it's a giggle. [Actor laughs half-heartedly] Not funny enough! Raj Dhonota: Tell him a friggin' joke man! What's the matter with you? Paul Torrisi: Okay. An aardvark walked into a pub, and the barman said, "Why the long face?" Raj Dhonota: I dunno. Paul Torrisi: Well... that's the joke. An aardvark has a long face. Raj Dhonota: Oh."

"Paul Torrisi: I can sell anything Sir Alan Sugar: Well, you didn't."

"Raj Dhonota: The whole group was fully snotty though. (On First Forte) Saira Khan: (normal vocie) Well they are. They've got (posh voice) Sebastian who talks very terribly posh and they've got, oh James, who knows everybody in London. (Normal voice)Oh, yea- he must have gone through the list and gone (higher posh voice) Oh. Victoria Daid had them round for tea the other day and the person who had gone the Goldman's Sachs and my mother's related to him. (slowly going back to normal) And oh-ladi plum. (back to normal voice) And they've got Miriam who plays the piano and Miss Artistic..."

"Paul Torrisi: First time we have a girl as a project leader and it's the first time we lose. Matthew Palmer: (laughs) That's irrelevant. We couldn't have kept on that streak while some of our team were being- Paul Torrisi: Give a woman a position of power and they go fucking doolally. All of a sudden they think they're Adolf flamin' Hitler."

"Adele Lock: I'm not in the right place here. And it will come as no surprise to you, Sir Alan, that I don't like what I'm doing. I've never been so undermined and demeaned in my life, to do some of these things. Margaret Mountford: What's demeaning about stocking an area of a shop and selling? Adele Lock: I haven't got a problem with that, I do that all the time, I'm a retailer. I have got personal emotional problems that's happening in my life, I'm sorry, this isn't for me. I'm going to leave today, so Sir Alan I'd like to make your job a lot easier, and Tim I'd like to make your job a lot easier. I'm going to leave it at that. Sir Alan Sugar: You know, it's an easy way out, Adele... Adele Lock: No, it's not an easy way out, Sir Alan. Sir Alan Sugar: It is. Look, Adele, I've been around a long time. You're a shrewd lady. Thank you for your little speech just now, but I wanna tell you this. Despite what Tim might have come up with today, you was going to go. You read it right, and the reason you was gonna go was because you took no notice of what I said outside the shop. I told you to be respectful to people, you have a problem being respectful to people, and I hope that you can contain that problem in the rest of your business life. I wish you well, I'm sorry about the problems you may have with your family and your emotions and all that stuff. It's a shame that it's gone this way. [to the rest of the team] You lot are dead lucky, that's all I can say to you. Adele Lock: *Outside the boardroom* Cheeky bastard."

"(the first-ever task briefing) Sir Alan Sugar: Okay folks, in this factory over 3 million newspapers are going to be printed in a short period of time. By about 5 o'clock tomorrow night, they're all going to be sold. What these people have learned over the years is get it sold quickly and don't have any inventory left over. Now I can see you're all smartly dressed up suited and booted, maybe because you think you've heard the word "the financial times" and you've had something in your mind grander than what I've got in mind for you. Well, it's not very grand, it's not a city job, I'm gonna take you back to the grass roots where I started. You're going out in the streets tomorrow and you're gonna be selling something. A similar commodity to these newspapers: Flowers. They're also worthless the day afterwards. I'm gonna give each team £500, and you're gonna buy £500 worth of flowers, and then you're gonna get out in the street and start selling them. Nick is gonna be following the girls' team; Margaret, the boys team and the team that sells the most and has the most money at the end of the day is gonna win. And in the team that loses, one of you is gonna get fired."

"Sir Alan Sugar: [to the candidates, in the first-ever boardroom meeting] As far as I'm concerned, what I have in front of me here are fourteen of Britain's best prospects. Quite a few thousand applied for this job: a job with me, a job that's gonna bring you a six-figure salary. But to get that job, you're gonna have to demonstrate to me your skills and leadership, business acumen, shrewdness, the lot."

"Sir Alan Sugar: I'm struggling with the situation but I've come to a conclusion and my conclusion is this: that Tuan, I'm afraid to say you had your chance. You didn't perform on this particular task so Tuan, you're fired! Tuan Le: Thank you. Sir Alan Sugar: Thank you (Ruth and Tuan leave the boardroom but Syed remains seated) Syed Ahmed: I mean, Sir Alan... Sir Alan Sugar: Bye! (showing Syed the door) Ta-ra."

"Margaret Mountford: (after Tuan Le is fired) Tuan was just done in. Sir Alan Sugar: Yeah, Tuan was done (laughs)."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Am I asking you ventriloquist? I'm talking to him!"

"Syed Ahmed: You couldn't close a barn door even if you tripped over it! (to Tuan)"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Syed..."

"Sharon McAllister: (To Syed) I think you're an arrogant wanker, but good luck."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Shut, UP!! (to Syed Ahmed)"

"Ruth Badger: (after failing to sell a product) We put our lipstick on for him, and he was minging!"

"Sir Alan Sugar: I'll promise you this. As sure as I've got a hole in my bloody arse, when it gets down to the Final Two, all these people who are saying nice things will not. (On Michelle and Ruth's friendship)"

"(After Invicta win the task, they are on their treat and have had their meal. But after the meal is a row between Paul and Michelle) Paul Tulip: Well, why did you care? Michelle Dewberry: What? Why can I not say... Narrator, Mark Halliley: Paul is accused of attacking Project Manager, Sharon behind her back. Paul Tulip: Apparently, last night I was "slagging" Sharon's management style, outside. Now that is bullshit! Sharon McAllister: No, but you did say that! Paul Tulip: Right, well... Michelle Dewberry: No, let me... Paul Tulip: Right, well....do you not think that...why is she so bothered about what we're doing? Michelle Dewberry: Wha... Who's she? Would that be me stood here? Paul Tulip: That would be you, yeah. Michelle Dewberry: 'Cause you two were having a conversation and you're acting like I'm not here... Paul Tulip: It's Chinese Whispers! By the time it gets to Sharon, it's completely different! Michelle Dewberry: And that's my fault? Syed Ahmed: Basically... Paul Tulip: It makes it look like we went outside last night and had a chat about Sharon! Sharon and the task wasn't even mentioned! We were talking about other... (In the background, Michelle and Syed also argue) Michelle Dewberry: But you're not listening to me! Paul Tulip: 'Cause you're talking shit! Michelle Dewberry: I don't think so, Paul! I don't think so! Paul Tulip: You are! You're talking absolute shit! Michelle Dewberry: Oh, fuck off! You're not even listening to me, Paul! Paul Tulip: 'Cause you're not making sense! You're not making sense! Michelle Dewberry: I've asked you a question! You don't even let me answer... Paul Tulip: Well, justify yourself then! You just tell me one thing that I've said... Michelle Dewberry: Why do I need to justify myself to you? Paul Tulip: Because you're talking shit! Michelle Dewberry: I don't think so. Paul Tulip: Well, tell me one thing I said about Sharon and I'll back off like I said. Michelle Dewberry: I repeated...right, what I've done in all of this is I said I made a mistake and I apologize to you because I'm repeating something that you told to Sharon which did center around you, and I apologize... Paul Tulip: Right, which you didn't even hear from my mouth! Michelle Dewberry: No! But... Paul Tulip: That's your mistake. You've passed on something to me that you didn't even hear me say... Syed Ahmed: Secondly...Secondly... Paul Tulip: Well that's just...(scoffs)What more can I say?"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Samuel, with your hands in your pockets, not a salesman... (somewhat disdainfully) What did you do? Samuel Judah: I contributed with the idea that... Sir Alan Sugar: I tell you what. Do me a favor. Shut that book at the moment, I want to hear what you can do without your notes alright? Samuel Judah: (reluctantly) Fine. (he obeys) Sir Alan Sugar: Shut the book, put your pen down and talk to me. Stop looking at notes, okay? What did you do?"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Samuel, can I ask you a direct question? Samuel Judah: Yes of course, Sir Alan. Sir Alan Sugar: Do you think if you weren't there, it would have made any difference?"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Jo, you've been here too many times. It's a shame, but I thought you had more potential. But Jo, I'm sorry to say, this time, you're fired. Jo Cameron: I thought I expected this, because I accept the fact I've been here four times, but I think that what that demonstrates is that I've got the resilience of a survivor. I'm happy to go out here on the basis of like, being crap, but I don't believe that I am... Sir Alan Sugar: Jo, Jo. There comes a time when everybody - everybody - is saying the same thing, and even me, I will say 'You know what? Give it up Alan, enough's enough.' Jo, you're fired. Jo Cameron: Can I just ask one more time just to give me one last chance? Sir Alan Sugar: I'm afraid not. No I'm afraid not. That's it."

"Sir Alan Sugar: (on reading Jo Cameron's CV) Says here she used to train Financial Directors for MG Rover. No wonder they went bloody skint."

"Paul Tulip: How many stripes have you got? Syed Ahemd: I've got loads of stripes! Paul Tulip: No, let's have a look at how many stripes you've got under there 'cause the more you have, the more important you are. Syed Ahmed: (understanding Paul's question) I've got three. Paul Tulip: Oh! It's just that I've got four! (showing Syed his shoulder stripes)"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Paul, I sent you to sell the best of British to France. You spent half the bloody day frying sausages on some stupid contraption that the Boy Scouts could have made, and worse than that, Paul, you went out and lost me money! You're a total shambles. You're fired!"

"Sir Alan Sugar: I sent you out on a mission to France, to sell quality British products. I gave you a list of organic farmers, of people who use tender love and care to create something special that they take a pride in. And I wanted you to take that product and say "This is what us British produce, this is not mass-produced tut..." and what you do, is you go and buy a breeze block-load of bloody cheddar cheese!"

"Katie Hopkins: She's a complete snake in the grass and, frankly, too orange to be taken seriously. (about Kristina Grimes)"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Is this a joke?! (during Paul's attempted explanation of his baked bean-tin stove)"

"Sir Alan Sugar: That's not very good, is it? (After discovering that Stealth have made a loss of over £200)"

"Paul Callaghan: So, just to recap, we're trying to sell pork sausages to a Muslim, and offering him a taster in the middle of Ramadan. Other than that, I think it's all going perfectly well!"

"Lohit Kalburgi: (attempting to sell while speaking French) Hello, we have some specialities of Britishness... are you interesting?"

"Kristina Grimes: The French are cheese connoisseurs, and we're going to sell them something from Makro?"

"Sir Alan Sugar: I absolutely admire anybody like you have done...a mother under the circumstances which you were in, done your Open University stuff, got your MBA and this, that and the other. Love it, okay? Me? It don't mean jack shit, quite frankly. I'm not interested in these titles, okay?"

"Tre Azam: They come across like something that belongs in a fetish gallery."

"Tre Azam: Stupid titties and fish."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Rory, you're a disaster. I'm sorry, an absolute, total disaster. I've given you the chance to explain yourself, and you haven't. I was told that you were bankrupt; there's no shame in that, been bankrupt twice. Well, here's the hat-trick... Rory, you're fired!"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Ifti, I don't know if you've got a problem or something, but you are not transmitting confidence to me. Ifti Chaudri: Ah, Sir Alan, I do apologise for that. I know it's no excuse, but I was missing my son very badly... [Tre laughs] Sir Alan Sugar: What, you think that's funny, do you? Tre Azam: Not at all, I have a son too. But when you have to get down to work, you have to get down to work, don't you? Ifti Chaudri: I've never been away from my son, and I found it crippling, to be honest with you. Absolutely crippling. Sir Alan Sugar: You can't concentrate on this, is really what you're saying? Ifti Chaudri: It doesn't look like I can. But I'm just being honest with you, Sir Alan, because I'm not going to be going into tasks and not giving 100%. You saw me on the first task, you saw what I'm capable of, but I just found myself in a mental block, and if I can't tell you the truth, what can I do? Sir Alan Sugar: I appreciate it, you're a very good family man. But business is business, as I'm sure you'll agree. And so it's with regret, Ifti, that I'm going to have to say to you, you're fired. [Ifti sighs, gets up and leaves. Sir Alan turns to face Rory and Tre] Sir Alan Sugar: I suppose you think you've got off lightly there? That because Ifti's gone, that's it, you can get back to the house? Well, as I've said once before, never underestimate me, and don't try and second guess what's going on. Because, I'm telling you, as unusual as it is, one of you is still going to get fired."

"Rory Laing: It does fulfil the task of being innovative. A blanket- Sir Alan Sugar: Well it's got some originality. Rory Laing: Yeah Sir Alan Sugar: You've gotta find an original nutter to wear it, first of all."