"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like: It's better than yours. Damn right. It's better than yours. More on that story later."

"My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. More on that story later"

"The time is just coming up to a turn off at the A42 with a Duchy on the left hand side."

"I want money, that's all I want, just give me money. More on Jeremy Paxman's new salary demands later, but first…"

"My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.. More on that story later."

"The time is just coming up to...my ankles."

"(in a 750th anniversary of Today) Thou art listening to 'Today', and just checking Stonehenge I can see that the time is approximately...spring! (laughter) Past seven."

"It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. More on that novel later."

"I'm not trying to pull you, even though I would like to. I think you are really fit. You're fit but my gosh don't you know it. More on that story later."

"It's time...James Naughtie got me a cup of tea!"

"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot — happy Christmas, your arse, I pray God it's your last. More on that story later."

"I've got something to put in you, I've got something to put in you, at the gay bar, gay bar. More on that story later."

"This week on EastEnders, there's trouble in store for Kat Slater, when she's mistaken for a panda, tranquilized, and returned to London Zoo."

"The time is just an abstract construct and history is an illusion!"

"£250,000. 22 identical sealed boxes. A tiny, tiny beard. And no questions, except one. Where the hell do I buy my shirts?"

"I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot. More on that story later."

"I swear you're just like a pill. Instead of making me better you're making me ill. More on that story later."

"It's coming up to eighteen minutes past eight."

"He was a skater boy, she said see you later boy, he wasn't good enough for her. More on that story later."

"It is with deep regret and double chin that I announce this."

"BBC Radio 4. I'm Brian Perkins... the real Slim Shady."

"It's coming up to seventeen minutes past twenty four."

"I used the funds for my large volume of important work (Beat) and my wife's volume of important hair"

"And that's the end of the whole affair. And by affair I don't mean affair so will you quiet down, Pauline!"

"At 8 tomorrow on BBC Two, we've got The Good Life. That's followed by Porridge at 8:30, and later at 10 there's That Was the Week we Watched . A nostalgic programme looking back at the shows we had been watching this week in 1979: which were Porridge and The Good Life."

"Look, simply Blair has lost touch with the people! (Beat) Oh dear I almost made sense there!"