"You know what? I'm really hungry and it's not like we're not at Denny's. So, if someone comes in and sees me eat duck à l'orange, who knows what effect it'll have on my life? The "a" before l'orange is not spoken and the whole phrase "duck l'orange" is dubbed...???"

"He said not to ever do that to me again. He said that if you do he'll have you taken off to prison and locked up and you'll never ever see me again, and you'll have to eat ice-cream on your own. (speaking to her mother after she tried to blame a parking ticket on her wanting ice-cream which she did not request)"

", the daughter of Susan Sarandon"

"- Jack Irwin"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman - Lester Bangs"

"Jimmy Fallon - Dennis Hope"

"Anna Paquin - Polexia Aphrodisia"

"Fairuza Balk - Sapphire"

"Zooey Deschanel - Anita Miller"

"Patrick Fugit - William Miller"

"Jason Lee - Jeff Bebe"

"Kate Hudson - Penny Lane"

"Frances McDormand - Elaine Miller"

"Billy Crudup - Russell Hammond"

"Dennis Hope: If you think Mick Jagger will still be out there trying to be a rock star at age fifty, then you are sadly, sadly mistaken."

"Don't take drugs!"

"[to her class] Rockstars have kidnapped my son."

"Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and there's no glass slipper."

"Show me any guy who ever said he didn't want to be popular, and I'll show you a scared guy. I've studied the entire history of music. Most of the time, the best stuff is the popular stuff. It's much safer to say popularity sucks, because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don't forgive myself. Do you?"

"Great art is about guilt and longing and, you know, love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love."

"Here 's a theory for you to disregard - completely. Music, you know, true music - not just rock 'n' roll - it chooses you. You know, it lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones, with vast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. You know, it's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America."

"You know, because once you go to L.A., you're gonna have friends like crazy. But they're gonna be fake friends. You know, they're gonna try to corrupt you. You got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything. But you cannot make friends with the rock stars...If you're gonna be a true journalist -- you know, a rock journalist -- first, you never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. Jesus. Fucking nothing about you that is controversial, man. God, it's gonna get ugly, man. They're gonna buy you drinks. You're gonna meet girls, they're gonna try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs. I know. It sounds great, but these people are not your friends. You know, these are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of rock stars. And they will ruin rock 'n' roll, and strangle everything we love about it, right? You know, because they're trying to buy respectability for a form that is gloriously and righteously dumb. Now, you're smart enough to know that. And the day it ceases to be dumb is the day that it ceases to be real, right? And then it just becomes an industry of cool. I'm-I'm telling ya, you're comin' along at a very dangerous time for rock 'n' roll. I mean, the war is over. They won. And 99% of what passes for rock 'n' roll these days, silence is more compelling. That's why I think you should just turn around and go back, you know, and be a lawyer or somethin'. But I can tell from your face that you won't. I can give you 35 bucks. Give me a thousand words on Black Sabbath...Hey, you have to make your reputation on being honest and, uh, you know, unmerciful...If you get into a jam, you can call me. I stay up late."

"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If ya never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If ya never get hurt, you always have fun. And if ya ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."

"We are not groupies. Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids."

"Where and when does this "real world" occur?"

"How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

"Flea - Hippie"

"Lyle Lovett - The Road Person"

"Craig Bierko - Lacerda"

"Michael Jeter - Dr. Elron Bumquist"

"Katherine Helmond - The Desk Clerk at Mint Hotel"

"Cameron Diaz - The Blonde TV Reporter"

"Mark Harmon - The Magazine Reporter at Mint 400"

"Christina Ricci - Lucy"

"Gary Busey - The Highway Patrolman"

"Ellen Barkin - The Waitress at North Star Cafe"

"Tobey Maguire - The Hitchhiker"

"Benicio del Toro - Dr. Gonzo"

"Johnny Depp - Raoul Duke"

"Buy the ticket, take the ride."

"Four Days, Three nights, Two Convertibles, One City."

"As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit."

"Hey honkies. You folks wanna buy some heroin ? Goddamnit, I'm serious. All I'm trying to sell you is some pure fucking smack! This is the real stuff! You won't get hooked. I just got back from Vietnam."

"And when it comes to that fantastic note... when the rabbit bites his own head off, I want you to throw that fucking radio into the tub with me."

"It's ok, he's just admiring the shape of your skull!"

"1965. The great San Francisco acid wave. I recall one night in a place called the Matrix. There I was. [does a double take, seeing the real Hunter S. Thompson sitting nearby (doppelganger)] Mother of God, there I am! Holy fuck! Uh...clearly I was a victim of the drug explosion - a natural street freak, just eating whatever came by."

"A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth, but nobody should be asked to handle this trip. Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich."

"[points skyward] Oh, you evil bastard! This your work. You better take care of me, Lord, 'cause if you don't you'll have me on your hands!"

"With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know."

"Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it."