"The truth of the matter is The Island tends to come around every time the Planet of the Apes films come back in business. And it’s the grandfather of all kinds of movies, including Jurassic Park. But the original remains a tough nut to crack – mostly because of its themes, which could never be properly explored in a family movie. At its core it has a Darwinist message, which is at odds with the regular American summer movies, and its view of the impossibility of creating a utopian society is a little dark, even for science-fiction."

"The one part that’s become very clear to me is that Moreau’s going to be funded by corporate money, rather than being an isolated, obsessive individual. The issue of the beast people being property – that they’re essentially a copyright of the company that’s made them, and aren’t free to have their own lives – amused me."

"NOW I... AM THE LAW! [Hyena-Swine proceeds to kill Dr. Moreau when he attempts to escape]"

"Fairuza Balk - Aissa"

"By the time Brando had arrived [...] no one was willing to say no to anything, which is why Brando wears an ice bucket on his head in one scene"

"There is no pain, there is no law!"

"Tell me, why you make the pain, if we are your children."

"[Imitating Dr. Moreau] I destroyed the serum. All of it."

"[Imitating Dr. Moreau] And though I give my body to be burned and have not charity, I am nothing. And though... I give all my gifts to feed the poor, and though l give my body to be burned, and have not charity, I am nothing."

"It is a hard way, the way of being a man. Sooner or later we all want a thing that is bad. To walk on all fours. To suck up drink from a stream. To jabber, instead of saying the words. To go snuffling at the earth, and to claw on the bark of trees. To eat flesh, or fish. To make love to more than one, every which way. These are all bad things. These are not the things that men do. But we are men, are we not? We are men because the Father has made us men!"

"[After Douglas offers to find a way to stop the regression to animals] No. No more scientists, no more laboratories, no more experiments. I thought you would be able to understand that. We have to be what we are, not what the Father tried to make us. To go on two legs... is very hard. Perhaps four is better, anyway."

"We are NOT men!"

"Daniel Rigney - Hyena-Swine"

"Ho-Jon: Hawkeye? Duke say you better haul ass home quick. We got new chest cutter in our tent."

"P.A. Announcement: Attention. Captain Banning - er, Captain Bandini. [Exhales forcefully] Attention. Captain Bandini is now performing a femoral pop—a popli—a p-- a femoral P-O-P-L-I-T-E-R-A-L artery expli - exp - - exploration and possible graft."

"Dawne Damon as Lieutenant Wilma "Scorch" Storch"

"Bobby Troup as Staff Sergeant Gorman"

"How do ya like them apples, Charlie?"

"Capt. Murrhardt: Painless is a dentist, and a dentist shouldn't read. That's his whole problem."

"Marvin Miller as PA Announcer"

"Danny Goldman as Captain Dennis Murrhardt"

"Corey Fischer as Captain Patrick "Band-Aid" Bandini"

"[to Henry] This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!"

"[to Brigadier General Charlie Hammond] Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform."

"René Auberjonois as Father Francis John Patrick "Dago Red" Mulcahy"

"Jo Ann Pflug as Lieutenant Maria "Dish" Schneider"

"Capt. Bandini: Something in a marshmallow?"

"Carl Gottlieb as Captain "Ugly" John Black"

"Indus Arthur as Lieutenant Leslie"

"Alright men, we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice!"

"Gary Burghoff as Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly"

"John Schuck as Captain Walter Koskiusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski"

"Fred Williamson as Captain Oliver Harmon "Spearchucker" Jones"

"Tom Skerritt as Captain Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest"

"Sally Kellerman as Major Margaret J. "Hot Lips" Houlihan"

"You're not a real M*A*S*H fan until you've seen the original. (1982 re-release)"

"Donald Sutherland as Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Jr."

"Robert Duvall as Major Franklin Delano Marion "Ferret Face" Burns"

"[in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Oh, kiss my hot lips!"

"Elliott Gould as Captain "Trapper" John Francis Xavier McIntyre"

"Pvt. Seidman: [Singing for Painless the Theme Song] Suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it / if I please"

"SSG Gorman: [Repeated line] Goddam Army..."

"[in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, strangle me!"

"M*A*S*H Hysteria"

"M*A*S*H Gives A D*A*M*N."

"Roger Bowen as Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake"

"[to Hawkeye] I like to think of the army as my home."

"Oh, now damn it, Henry. Frank Burns is a menace! Every time a patient croaks on him, he says it's God's will or somebody else's fault."

"[Watching Frank Burns leave] Fair is fair, Henry. If I nail Hot Lips and punch Hawkeye, can I go home?"

"Look, mother, I want to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid’s chest and get out to the golf course before it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have them rustle us up some lunch. Ham and eggs will be all right. Steak would be even better. And then give me at least ONE nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her tits in my way."