"For two thousand years you filthy mortals have tried to steal my riches to satisfy your greedy urges... and it always ends the same, with you begging for your miserable lives. Was it all worth it in the end? One day your kind will learn that the treasure of the Leprechauns..."

"You may think this line is getting old, but believe me son, I want me gold!"

"['The Leprechaun pulls his hand off the kitchen burner that's on, chuckling] We're cooking now, kids."

"[Bumps into African-American Leprechaun when entering the men's room] Watch it, nosebleed!"

"The Luck of the Irish.. just Ran Out!"

"[Singing, to Alex] I got you in a bear trap / That'll make you shut your yap / I got you in a bear trap / You look like a stupid sap. [The Leprechaun holds a small ax] Oh, oh, it looks like you're hurt. Let's play surgeon."

"[In a little girl's voice trapped from a bag] I can't breathe. Please open the suitcase. I'm going to suffocate."

"[Rips out the dead police officer's eye and puts it into his own head] An eye for an eye, me dear."

"[Narrating from down in the flaming well] I'll not rest till I have me gold. Curse this well that me soul shall dwell, till I find me magic that breaks me spell."

"[Tory looks for a four leaf clover as the Leprechaun sneaks up to grab her hand] Little girls shouldn't look for four leaf clovers."

"Jennifer Aniston as Tory"

"Robert Hy Gorman as Alex"

"Mark Holton as Ozzie"

"Ken Olandt as Nathan"

"Raymond C. Turner as Dispatcher"

"Shevonne Durkin as Bridget/William's Daughter"

"Shay Duffin as O'Grady"

"William Newman as Sheriff Cronin"

"[Showing Bridgette the skeleton of William O'Day] A little family reunion. You have his cheek bones."

"A curse be placed upon your seed, William O'Day. You may have saved your daughter, but on me next thousandth birthday, I'll stalk your fairest offspring and claim her as me bride! [Laughs] Happy St. Patrick's Day."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"We'll have to make some changes to your face as well. 'Tis a fair face, but the wee ones won't suckle if you don't look like them. They can be very demanding at times. Many changes. Many changes."

"Tim Colceri as Metal Head"

"The path to power is often soiled with innocent blood, and I will let nothing stop me from becoming king. I'll have power and glory, and a beautiful queen to share it with. Share... Now there's a word that lies crooked upon me. The very sound of it sends my teeth to grate and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I want is everything. I'll wed her, bed her and bury her all in the same day. I wonder if her father will pay for the wedding AND the funeral."

"Lee Armstrong as Tammy"

"John Gatins as Scott"

"Al White as Desk Sergeant"

"Yo man, want me gold?"

"Martha Hackett as Detective"

"Tony Cox as African-American Leprechaun"

"Ah... lovely golden palaces completely full of riches. I'll rip 'em off and rob 'em blind, those dirty sons of bitches."

"I want my gold shilling. Tell me where it is or there will be another killing."

"[Appears on the TV as a injuries compensation lawyer doing an infommercial] Feeling sick? Stubbed your toe? Call this lawyer. I'll fix your woe. Agony is my business. I'll fight for you! Even you, Mitch."

"[Appears on the TV as a psychic doing a commercial] The signs point to a tragedy about to happen: casino owner dies in a bed of lies."

"Look at those tits! I wish I was a man so I could just screw myself right to the floor. And I dare you to feel that ass, Fazio. That's prime."

"['As he's being sawn in half] Caesar's... Palace..."

"Rebecca Carlton as Princess Zarina"

"Warwick Davis as Leprechaun"

"John DeMita as Fazio"

"Ladies and gentlemen, due to a slight solicrivilance in the stem of the wheel, the situation is thus - this table is now closed."

"You need more than a boob job, Loretta. You need a personality transplant."

"What do I want? I want brown hair. I want health insurance for all Americans. I want the Mets to get their shit together."

"Roger Hewlett as Tony"

"Richard Reicheg as Lucky"

"Marcelo Tubert as Gupta"

"Tom Dugan as Art"

"Ian Gregory as Doctor"

"Guy Siner as Dr. Mittenhand / The Mittenspider"

"Linda Diane Shayne as Nurse"

"Sticky Fingaz as Cedric"