"Hey Mike, stay here and when you wake up come back into town and I'll be waiting for you. You'll be safer here in this comfy neighbourhood than in a city. I grew up in a neighborhood like this. With my dad. He has more fucking righteous gall than all the property and people he lords over. And those he also created. like me his son, but I almost get sick thinking that I am a son to him. You know you have to be as good as him to keep up, you have to be able to lift as big a weight, you have to be able to throw that weight as far. Or make as much money. Or be as heartless. To hold your ground. My dad doesn't realize I'm just a kid. He thinks I'm a threat."

"I never thought I could make it as a real model, you know fashion-orientated modelling, 'cause I'm better at full body poses. It's alright so long as the photographer doesn't come on to you and expect something for nothing. I'm trying to make a living. I like to have a professional attitude. 'Course if the guy wants to pay me, then hell - yeah. Here I am for him. I'll sell my ass, I do it on the street occasionally for cash. Or I'll be on the cover of a book. It's when you start doing things for free that you start to grow wings. Isn't that right, Mike?"

"When I turn 21, I don't want any more of this life. My mother and father will be surprised at the incredible change. It will impress them more when such a fuck-up like me turns good than if I had been a good son all along. All my bad behavior I'm going to throw away to pay my debt. I will change when everybody expects it the least."

"When I left home the maid asked me where I was off to, I said 'Wherever, whatever, have a nice day.'"

"This chick's living in a new car ad."

"I'm a connoisseur of roads. I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end. It probably goes all around the world."

"This is a nice home. Do you live here?... I don't blame you."

"There's not another road anywhere that looks like this road, I mean exactly like this road. It's one kind of place, one of a kind. Like someone's face. Like a fucked-up face."

"Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live. Nobody!"

"Paul Swift - The Egg Man"

"Cookie Mueller - Cookie"

"Channing Wilroy - Channing"

"Edith Massey - Edie"

"Danny Mills - Crackers"

"Mink Stole - Connie Marble"

"Mary Vivian Pearce - Cotton"

"David Lochary - Raymond Marble"

"Divine - Divine / Babs Johnson"

"The filthiest people alive! Their loves, their hates and their unquenchable thirst for notoriety!"

"An exercise in poor taste."

"Cotton: Murder merely relieves tension."

"Birthday Card: Happy birthday, fatso."

"Edie: Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!"

"Cookie: I may have to degrade myself in front of Divine's son. He's into a very strange sex scene."

"Sandy Sandstone: Eat the bird, bitch!"

"How can a couch be out of order?!"

"Oh I love you Raymond. I love you more than anything in this whole world! I love you even more than my own filthiness! More than my hair color! More than the sound of bones breaking! The sounds of death rattles! Even more than my own SHIT do I love you, Raymond!"

"Babs Johnson, oh what a stupid fucking name! She sounds like a chimpanzee on a tire swing."

"We'll see who's the filthiest person alive! We'll JUST SEE!"

"I guess there's just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone, my kind of people, and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into."

"Do my balls, Mama!"

"Hold these goddamn chickens!"

"I'll burn you to death,stupid bitch!"

"Oh my God,you stupid idiot motherfucker!Connie,go away!"

"You stand convicted of asshole-ism."

"Gentlemen, the verdict is in. Guilty on all 10 charges of first-degree stupidity."

"You know who I am, bitch! I'm the filthiest person alive, that's who I am!"

"Oh my God Almighty! Someone has sent me a BOWEL MOVEMENT!"

"The next package you bring me is getting shoved right up your little ass, can you comprehend that?!"

"I haven't fallen in love for three whole days!"

"[last lines] "The filthiest people alive?" Well, you think you know someone filthier? Watch as Divine proves that not only is she the filthiest person in the world, she's also the filthiest actress in the world! What you are about to see is THE REAL THING!"

"[after Raymond exposes himself to a transsexual in the park, and, shocked, runs away] That is not the only shock you have before you, Raymond Marble, because at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ass hole!"

"This beautiful mobile home you see before you is the current hideout of the notorious beauty Divine, the filthiest person alive!"

"Jean Hill - Grizelda Brown"

"Mary Vivian Pearce - Princess Coo-Coo"

"Edith Massey - Queen Carlotta"

"Susan Lowe - Mole McHenry"

"Mink Stole - Peggy Gravel"

"Liz Renay - Muffy St. Jacques"

"Flipper: You lazy bitch! I'm out working my tail off all day and you're in there fucking midgets!"