First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know."
"There's a hole in the world/like a great black pit/and it's filled with people/who are filled with shit/and the vermin of the world inhabit it."
"Maggie Siff - Rachel"
"Steve Bannos - Deli Manager"
"You really can't spell 'families' without lies. Try it."
"My childhood was like The Shawshank Redemption, except I didn't have some old, warm, black man to share my story with!"
"[as Joseph in the Nativity play] My wife is pregnant and it's not my baby, but yet I'm cool with it, because God's the one who got her pregnant."
"Woman! Do your job and swaddle this baby!"
"True Bella Pinci - Kasi"
"Noah Munck - screaming kid"
"Zachary Gordon - Kid In Jump-Jump (cameo)"
"Creagen Dow - Sheep"
"Cedric Yarbrough - Stan"
"Brian Baumgartner - Eric"
"Patrick Van Horn - Darryl"
"Skyler Gisondo - Connor McVie"
"Steve Wiebe - Jim"
"Jack Donner - Grandpa"
"Colleen Camp - Aunt Donna"
"Carol Kane - Aunt Sarah"
"Dwight Yoakam - Pastor Phil"
"Katy Mixon - Susan McVie"
"Tim McGraw - Dallas McVie"
"Jon Favreau - Denver McVie"
"Kristin Chenoweth - Courtney"
"Mary Steenburgen - Marilyn"
"Jon Voight - Creighton"
"Sissy Spacek - Paula"
"Robert Duvall - Howard McVie"
"Reese Witherspoon - Kate"
"Vince Vaughn - Bradford "Brad" McVie"
"Pour eux les fêtes sont un vrai cauchemar. (For them the holidays are a real nightmare.)"
"His father, her mother, his mother and her father all in one day."
"Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore."
"TV customer: [watching a black and white television program in the showroom] Is this show in color, or is there something wrong with the set?"
"Clement Fowler - Mr. Simmons"
"Kelle Kipp - Diane"
"Colette Blonigan - Carol Heathrow"
"Jessica James - Mrs. Simmons"
"Michael Tucker - Bagel"
"Kathryn Dowling - Barbara"
"Paul Reiser - Modell"
"Ellen Barkin - Beth Schreiber"
"Tim Daly - William 'Billy' Howard"
"Kevin Bacon - Timothy Fenwick Jr."
"Mickey Rourke - Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell"
"Daniel Stern - Laurence 'Shrevie' Schreiber"
"Steve Guttenberg - Edward 'Eddie' Simmons"
"Suddenly, life was more than french fries, gravy and girls."
"What they wanted most wasn't on the menu."