"Mackinaw, you know I have a full record of the case, and tonight at the opening of the play you MAY have the solution, but when the curtain rises, Madam Egelichi will be in the front box, and sitting next to her will be Count B'ullabaisse - but if you take away the count's silk hat, his opera cloak and his full dress suit you'll have ME, shivering in my underwear."

"I am the same Sam Grunion who solved the international uranium-mining swindle. Scotland Yard was baffled; the FBI was baffled. They sent for me and the case was solved immediately: I confessed."

"Here's another Broadway hopeful: Faustino the Great. For 20 years he was an organ grinder with a monkey. Then one day the monkey went on strike. He wanted shorter hours and longer bananas."

"Lewis L. Russell — Governor Galoux"

"Dan Seymour — Prefect of Police Captain Brizzard"

"Lois Collier — Annette"

"Charles Drake — Lieutenant Pierre Delmar"

"Paul Harvey — Mr. Smythe"

"Sig Ruman – Count Pfferman/Heinrich Stubel"

"Harpo Marx — Rusty"

"Groucho Marx — Manager Ronald Kornblow"

"The Howl Raiser of 1946"

"100 Girls! 1,000 Scenes! 10,000 Laffs!"

"Chico Marx — Corbaccio"

"After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... and I can't think of a better arrangement."

"I don't mind being killed, but I resent hearing it from a character whose head comes to a point!"

"From now on the essence of this hotel will be speed. If a customer askes you for a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he asks you for a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he askes you for a one-minute egg, give him the chicken and let him work it out for himself!"

"Well, gentlemen, I'm a different man behind a desk - as any stenographer can tell you. But, uh, what I want to know, is why they're burying the last manager. And don't tell me it's because he's dead."

"Virginia O'Brien — Kitty"

"Paul Stanton — Arthur Hastings"

"It's a funny thing. I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down."

"Russell Hicks — George Hastings"

"Virginia Grey — Joan Sutton"

"Margaret Dumont — Martha Phelps"

"Tony Martin — Tommy Rogers"

"Chico Marx — Ravelli"

"Douglas Dumbrille — Mr. Grover"

"Harpo Marx — Wacky"

"Where everything is a good buy. Goodbye!"

"William Tannen — Fred Sutton"

"Song hits galore! 1000 laughs to a customer. Sale on howls! Sensational close-out on roars! Special fun and music bargains. Hurry hurry every laugh must go! No mail or phone orders please! Beauties and cuties!"

"Gorgeous Girls! Uproarious Fun! The Big Musical Show!"

"With gorgeous girls! Cute cut-ups! Lovely lasses!"

"Groucho Marx — Wolf J. Flywheel"

"It's a gift from a grateful client. They hanged him last year."

"Henry Armetta — Giuseppi"

"[to Ravelli] Why don't you assist Basil Rathbone and leave me alone?"

"Anna Demetrio — Maria"

"Marion Martin — Peggy Arden"

"Margaret Dumont — Louise Harlan"

"Allan Lane — George Worthing"

"Matt Briggs — Wentworth Harlan"

"Robert Bailey — Grant Lawrence"

"Trudy Marshall — Trudy Harlan"

"Stan Laurel — Stanley"

"Butler: [to Wentworth Harlan]; Mr.Harlan, this is really most important. Your house is on fire!"

"Do you want to learn to dance---with joy? Take a lesson from Laurel and Hardy in "The Dancing Master," their latest screen scream!"

"Oliver Hardy — Oliver"

"Robert Emmett Keane — Henry Corcoran"