First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Clinton: Um, I was wondering if you found me... attractive."
"Marten: "Dear esteemed future colleagues""
"Claire: Buhhhh I'm so tired of writing cover letterrrs"
"Claire: Why"
"Renee: You don't message someone out of the blue to talk about their cruel high school nickname. This requires tact. Nuance."
"Brun: I see."
"Brun: Ask if people still call him Shitty Dan."
"Brun: Why did everyone call him Shitty Dan, anyway?"
"May: God damn it, I need some heels. What's my fuckin' shoe size now?"
"Renee: I think mostly to differentiate him from Cool Dan, who was actually an asshole. High school is a miserable place."
"[May walks up to Bubbles, and checks with her hand, finding that she's just slightly shorter than her.]"
"Renee: I'm gonna message him."
"[We pull back to see that Bubbles is barefoot, and May is wearing flip-flops.]"
"Brun [over text message]: YO SHITTY DAN WTF WHEN DID U GET HOT LOL"
"Brun: That's tactful and nuanced?"
"Renee: MY BRAIN SLIPPED"
"Renee: A fool and his money are soon parted. Even sooner, if he's willing to ignore traffic laws."
"Brun: I have three thousand dollars in my bra and I have to get to the bank as soon as possible."
"Brun: It's okay. I don't mind begging. You always say yes."
"Faye: You shut up. Nobody likes you right now and you're just gonna have to deal with that."
"Renee: You know, if you found a new apartment, you wouldn't have to beg me for laundry privileges."
"Crushbot: CRUSHBOT WOULD ALSO LIKE TO EXTEND CRUSHBOT'S SINCERE CONDOLENCES"
"Clinton: Wow, nice euphemism. I feel you though, I prefer to poop at home too."
"Lemon: Yes. She's singing to you, too. "For comfort," she says. Apparently the only song she knows is "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star." She has sung it 1257 times in a row now."
"Faye: Should we get her, like, a gift or something? What says "I'm sorry your entire body got crushed?""
"Roko: What, sitting in a friggin' server room?"
"Lemon: You stepped onto the sidewalk just as Crushbot slipped on a misdelivered crate of bananas. Crushbot fell on you. Crushbot weighs several tons. Bubbles was able to lift Crushbot off of you, but the damage had already been done. I'm very sorry to tell you, but your body is completely unrecoverable."
"Bubbles: Probably not a fruit basket, considering the cause of the accident."
"Lemon: You know, Melon came here as soon as she heard. She's refused to leave your side ever since."
"Brun: The first time someone called me autistic, I didn't even know the word. I didn't understand it was meant to be an insult until I asked my dad and I saw how upset it made him. A while after that the doctor said that yes, I was autistic. They said it's fine, it just meant my brain worked differently than most people. But in my head it meant that I was this word that people used as an insult. That's when I stopped liking doctors."
"Lemon: You've had a slight accident, and I'm here to help you."
"Roko: Oh no. No no no no. My body, please tell me my body is -"
"Bubbles: This is, apparently, what we do now."
"Bubbles: I am calling the police on this conversation."
"Dora: Just manhandling each other in my shop, huh? This is what we do, now?"
"Bubbles: I take offense to that. I am not squishy."
"Lemon: Let's approach the subject of your body obliquely, okay? For instance, it says in your file that you're a bread enthusiast. How do you feel about pancakes? Or, um, crepes?"
"Roko: I didn't think the sign was a law!"
"Bubbles: Speaking of who and where I am today, Faye is my girlfriend now. We are a couple."
"Claire: You're really here, right? This isn't a hypothetical conversation I'm imagining while I eat my carrot sticks?"
"Roko: It's funny, I was actually sitting here in that big chair, feeling sorry for myself, when May - you know May, right? Anyway, she started talking back to me. Said I should just quit if I feel like I suck at my job. And it was like someone opened a skylight in my mind. Suddenly there was light again. Anyway, May apologized for mouthing off, and I took that to mean she was worried I'd fuck her over, and it was just like... shit. I work with cops who absolutely would've retaliated for her speaking her mind. That was the last straw. I quit the second I got back to the station."
"Roko: Sorry, sorry. I'm happy for you, but I had you classified as a big scary hardass and all of a sudden you're a huge squishy teddy bear, and it's taking me a minute."
"Bubbles: Let us rewind a little. You were sitting in my chair?"
"Lemon: It was an accident, and Crushbot has been forthright, contrite, and cooperative. Crushbot also has a very robust insurance policy, probably because Crushbot's name and occupation are "Crushbot"."
"Aurelia: I'm going to wait until I know you're having a nice time. I'm your mother first, your tetrahydrocannabinol tour guide second."
"Tai: Put on your safari hat, kid, 'cuz I'm taking you upriver."
"Claire: You go first. Show me how it's done."
"Clinton: I-- I mean, my exams are obviously lower-stakes than yours. If I had my whole future riding on them like you do, I'm sure I'd be freaking out too."
"Claire: Pintsize taught me that I need to be more willing to talk about this stuff so let me just say that you are not helping, you dickbat."
"Bubbles: Suddenly I find my priorities have shifted."