"Bubbles: "Then, I would launch a furious counterattack, destroying the opposing force in detail. After securing the AO, I would interrogate captured enemy units as to why they launched a major ground offensive against a library. Then I would begin entrenchment and fortification operations--""

"Momo: Oh. Yes. A poor choice of idiom for someone who once misappropriated funds to become a combat aircraft."

"Bubbles: "Claire has many fine qualities. Dedication. Strength of conviction. Honesty. Open-mindedness. Eagerness to learn. A peerless grasp of the intricacies of library science.""

"Claire: Thanks!"

"Claire: Um--"

"Burger Oni: Greetings, lowly Milkmaids! Cower in fear before the infernal majesty of Burger Oni!"

"Bubbles: "People use the phrase 'I would take a bullet for this person' metaphorically, but in my case I would quite literally use my body to deflect anything from edged weapons, to small-arms fire, to anti-personnel artillery.""

"Clinton: I see."

"Brun: Oh, I do enjoy masturbation, though. Have you ever done that? It's pretty fun."

"Clinton: Actually... are there any guys you are attracted to right now?"

"Brun: Hmmm. Nobody comes to mind."

"Clinton: I should really let you get back to work"

"Clinton: Haha, okay. Guess that answers that!"

"Brun: Hmmmmm. I'm picturing us having sex and it isn't arousing at all."

"Brun: Not even a little bit arousing. Actually kind of surprised how non-arousing it is."

"Clinton: Okay, that answers that"

"Clinton: I mean, yeah, you're like, super hot. But if the feeling's not mutual, that's totally fine."

"Bubbles: Good morning, Claire. How goes the job application process?"

"Yay: That will not be necessary."

"Elliot: I like the part of baseball where you drink beer and eat hotdogs. So basically a cookout, I guess."

"Yay: Even when you are not home? Or asleep?"

"Elliot: Ummm, I-- I guess I could give you my door code..."

"Clinton: Um, I was wondering if you found me... attractive."

"Yay: Friends."

"Elliot: Friends?"

"Yay: Does our newfound friendship include expanded Hercules visitation rights?"

"Elliot: Haha, sure, you can come over anytime."

"Yay: We sometimes wonder if you would be better off leaving the whole "consciousness" thing to us and going back to your "climb tree, get fruit" roots."

"Brun: Hmm. Never really thought about it before. Do you find me attractive?"

"Claire: Actually, this one wants some personal references, can I put you down as one?"

"Renee: Oh, it's a date now?"

"Dan: Haha! It doesn't have to be."

"Dan: Not only tangible, but edible! If someone tried to eat a pipeline I designed, they'd be in for a bad time."

"Dan: A cheap date it is, then!"

"Renee: Nah, you know what? Fuck it. It's a date. I'll even take a shower beforehand."

"Marten: "In conclusion, by the time you finish reading this sentence, you will already have hired me. Thank you and congratulations.""

"Claire: Why"

"Claire: Actually, I might use that last one. That's a power move."

"Renee: Yeah, I like working at the bakery. There's something satisfying about making tangible goods as your job."

"Marten: "I am excellent at dealing with unruly teens, bored children, moms looking for secretly horny books, and weird old men who smell like feet. I know the old men want a book about sailing ships, and I know the moms want a book about a contessa pegging the handsome scion of a rival family.""

"Dan: Nice! Rolled a 20 on my charisma check."

"Marten: "I am very smart. I know all of the books you can find in a library, and I know which of them are good and which are bad.""

"Claire: Oh no"

"Claire: Stop"

"Marten: Want me to do some for you?"

"Marten: "Dear esteemed future colleagues""

"Marten: "I have never done library science while intoxicated, high on illegal drugs, or nude. But if that's what you're into, I'm not a cop.""