First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Shop Assistant: Colleague? What colleague?"
"Shop Assistant: Me"
"Salesman: Ah sorry, are you... please tell me your the manager."
"Shop Assistant: Yeah so... Okay"
"Shop Assistant's friend: Okay... I'm the manager! (grins)"
"Shop Assistant: ...travelling from Birmingham since five."
"Salesman: I just told I've been travelling from Birmingham since five."
"Salesman: Yeah so..."
"Salesman: I was trying to talk to your colleague.."
"Salesman: Yes, you."
"Salesman: Yeah, it has been a long day for me, I've been travelling from Birmingham since five."
"Shop Assistant: So it hasn't been a long day for you."
"Shop Assistant: ... been travelling from Birmingham since five, yeah."
"Shop Assistant: Yeah it's 10 o'cloooock!"
"Salesman: Oh it's only ten in the morning."
"Salesman: Yeah It hasn't been a long day for you."
"Salesman: Yeah. So what time did you start?"
"Shop Assistant: Have you seen anything else that you like?"
"Salesman: I don't wanna buy 'em."
"Salesman: Sorry, It's been a long day-"
"Salesman: You don't have to buy 'em now."
"Shop Assistant: Should you be speaking to the manager?"
"Shop Assistant: Oh you don't wanna buy 'em now?"
"Shop Assistant: Yeah It has been a long day."
"Shop Assistant: What time did you start?"
"Shop Assistant: Yeah you"
"Salesman: Every piece is a one-off"
"Shop Assistant: Women's clothes (pronounced "clofes")"
"Shop assistant: Piece one-off."
"Shop Assistant: Simon N Tell yeah..."
"Salesman: Err... I'm from a company called Simon-N-Tell..."
"Salesman: We err specialize in women's clothes..."
"Salesman: So I was wondering if you would-"
"One pound!"
"What was that? A number 1,2,3 or 4?!"
"Salesman: Hey...(No answer) Hi... Hello..."
"Voulez-vous le lollipop, mademoiselle, maaaaaaaaan!?"
"And I'll give you some antibiotics, 'cos that water is contam-u-nated maan!"
"People go into my toilettes weighing 10 stone. They come out, weighing 9 stone 4 pounds."
"Shop Assistant: ...Hiii...(bored tone)"
"Shop Assistant: trying out some samples, yeah?"
"Lots of my friends are fat and they would eat you!"
"Do you do that at home?"
"Hey! Sodom and Gomorrah!"
"(To woman with poodle) Eh, take your sheep off my bus! What does this look like, Noah's ark?"
"(Singing) Ing tha naame of Jesus! Ing tha naame of Jesus!"
"Do I look like A to Z?"
"Do you want a lollipop, maaaaaaaaaaaaaan??"
"You can't come on to my bus, flapping your map about, slap my face with a four-fingered glove!"
"Cor blimey geezer mate!"