"[telling a group of strangers] The mov'ie Twilight. Have you seen it? Okay, I'm the main 'in Twilight. You know the main g'uy?' Twilight? That's me."

"So it's 6pm in the nighttime, which is when I wake up. This is always really scary part for me [slowly peeks out of curtains] Yes! Nighttime."

"[talking about re-uniting with his now-elderly love, Katherine] Some people freak out a bit about the age difference. Uhh… they think 'What's this 96-year-old lady doing with a guy 4 times her age?'."

"When you become a vampire, you become very…sexy. [gestures to himself]"

"Jemaine Clement — Vladislav"

"One year I went to the Unholy Masquerade dressed as Whoopi Goldberg from Sister Act 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. Didn't go down so well because she was a nun. Weird. Vampires don't like nuns."

"Nigel Terry — King Louis XI"

"Jim Dale — Clopin"

"Trevor Baxter — Chief Lawyer"

"Benedick Blythe — Phoebus"

"Richard Harris — Dom Frollo"

"Salma Hayek — Esmeralda"

"Vernon Dobtcheff — Father Michel"

"Edward Atterton — Gringoire"

"[to a gargoyle] Why was I not made of stone like thee?"

"Pity? Pity me, Quasimodo. To be a man of God, and to love a woman; and to love her more than God."

"[The executive] said, "Do you want to play it?" I said, 'Which part?' She said, "Quasimodo." I said, "You really don't have to pay me.' My agent was sitting next to her and said, "I would sort of like you to pay him.' That's how it happened.""

"Mandy Patinkin — Quasimodo"

"Nickolas Grace — Gauchére"

"Lisa: What the fuck are we gonna do every time, we wanna take the kid out? Nick another car?"

"Lisa: This stupid cunt!"

"Jermaine: Ha?"

"All this time, we are living, we are dying."

"Brother... we have answered your call, we are here; your family, your friends, your wife. Our hearts throb and cry, and yet, we must let you follow the path of Tāne. We return your soul to your ancestors. And so... farewell, farewell, farewell... go to join those who are now celestial beings. Goodbye brother."

"Diana Kent - Hilda Hulme"

"Clive Merrison - Dr. Henry Hulme"

"Sarah Peirse - Honora Parker"

"Melanie Lynskey - Pauline Parker"

"Kate Winslet - Juliet Hulme"

"Simon O'Connor - Herbert Rieper"

"Not all angels are innocent."

"The true story of a crime that shocked a nation."

"[about the murder of Honora Parker] I think she knows what's going to happen. She doesn't appear to bear us any grudge."

"Jed Brophy - John ("Nicholas")"

"Stick it up your bottom!"

"From a secret world no one could see...came a crime no one could believe."

"It's a three act story with a tragic end."

"Only the best people fight against all obstacles in pursuit of happiness."

"[narration] The next time I write in this diary, Mother will be dead. How odd... yet how pleasing."

"[from her diary] My new year's resolution is a far more selfish one than last year. It is to make my motto, eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow, you may be dead."

"[narrating] This notion is not a new one but this time it is a definite plan which we intend to carry out. We have worked it out carefully and are both thrilled by the idea. Naturally we feel a trifle nervous, but the pleasure of anticipation is great."

"All the best people have bad chests and bone diseases. It's all frightfully romantic."

"She is most unreasonable. Why could not mother die? Dozens of people are dying all the time, thousands, so why not mother? And father too."

"[voiceover, from her diary] We have decided how sad it is for others that they cannot appreciate our genius."

"Affairs are much more exciting than marriages. [pause] As Mummy can testify."