"[to audience] Pardon me while I have a strange interlude. Why, you couple of baboons! What makes you think I'd marry either one of you! Strange how the wind blows tonight. It has a thin eerie voice, that reminds me of poor old Marsden. How happy I could be with either of these two if both of them just went away!"

"Friends, I'm gonna tell you of the great, mysterious, wonderful continent known as Africa. Africa is God's country, and He can have it."

"Well, this bear was anemic and he couldn't stand the cold climate. He was a rich bear and he could afford to go away for the winter. You take care of your animals and I'll take care of mine! Frozen North, my eye! From the day of our arrival, we led an active life. The first morning saw us up at six, breakfasted, and back in bed at seven - this was our routine for the first three months. We finally got so we were back in bed at six thirty. One morning, I was sitting in front of the cabin, smoking some meat...Yes. There wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood. As I say, I was sitting in front of the cabin when I bagged six tigers...Six of the biggest tigers...I bagged them. I...I bagged them to go away, but they hung around all afternoon. They were the most persistent tigers I've ever seen."

"The principal animals inhabiting the African jungle are moose, elks and Knights of Pythias. Of course, you all know what a moose is. That's big game. The first day, I shot two bucks. That was the biggest game we had. As I say, you all know what a moose is? A moose runs around on the floor, and eats cheese, and is chased by the cats. The elks, on the other hand live up in the hills, and in the spring they come down for their annual convention. It is very interesting to watch them come to the water hole. And you should see them run when they find it is only a water hole. What they're looking for is an 'elk-a-hole'."

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say, tusks. You try that some time...As I say, we tried to remove the tusks, but they were embedded in so firmly that we couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama, the Tusk-a-loosa. But, uh, that's entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks."

"I don't like Junior crossing the tracks on his way to the reform school. I don't like Junior at all, as a matter of fact."

"Signor Emanuel Ravelli: [about playing bridge] How do you want to play...honest?"

"Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey Spaulding"

"Chico Marx - Signor Emanuel Ravelli"

"Zeppo Marx - Horatio Jamison"

"Lillian Roth - Arabella Rittenhouse"

"Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Rittenhouse"

"Louis Sorin - Roscoe W. Chandler"

"Hal Thompson - John Parker"

"Margaret Irving - Mrs. Whitehead"

"Kathryn Reece - Grace Carpenter"

"Robert Greig - Hives, the butler"

"Edward Metcalf - Inspector Hennessey"

"Leonid Kinskey - Sylvanian Agitator"

"Edgar Kennedy - Lemonade Vendor"

"Charles Middleton - Prosecutor"

"[on a telephone] Get me headquarters. Not hindquarters, headquarters!"

"Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot. But don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

"I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school."

"[locked in a closet] Hey let me out! Let me out of here, or throw me a magazine!"

"Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you."

"Edmund Breese - Zander"

"Louis Calhern - Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania"

"Raquel Torres - Vera Marcal"

"Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Gloria Teasdale"

"Zeppo Marx - Lt. Bob Roland"

"Chico Marx - Chicolini"

"Harpo Marx - Pinky (pink wig appeared blonde in black-and-white film)"

"Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly"

"Bring Your Straight Jackets. You'll Roll In the Aisles."

"I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home."

"The fanciest dish of screams—howls—beauty and music ever concocted."