First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Barry Cryer: "The Condom of the Opera""
"Graeme Garden: "Moby Doris""
"Graeme Garden: "And there's Antony Worrall Thompson's crabs on ginger nuts!""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "A nice alternative to caesar salad is caesar melons!""
"Barry Cryer: "A full-bodied 69, you can keep your macon"."
"Andy Hamilton: "Toad in the hole. Then out of the hole, then in the hole, then out of the hole...""
"Barry Cryer: "Mange toot-toot.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Chili con car-key.""
"Marcus Brigstocke: "Carparkio of beef.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "De-icer cream.""
"Marcus Brigstocke: "Jellied wheels.""
"Graeme Garden: "And those who enjoy Korean cooking, there's Rover.""
"Graeme Garden: "Edward Fingerhands.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Joseph and His Quite Interesting Beige Pajamas.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "All Quiet on the Front of Western.""
"Jeremy Hardy: "Civiless in Seattle.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "If I'm a Celebrity, What am I Doing Here?""
"Barry Cryer: "The Sound of Mucus.""
"Jeremy Hardy: "Seven Dwarfs for Seven Samurai.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "The Tale of Mr. Tiggy's Winkle.""
"Jeremy Hardy: "Around IKEA in 80 Days.""
"Graeme Garden: "Bring Me the Head of...Oh, No; Here It Is!""
"Graeme Garden: "It's Alright To Look Now.""
"Miles Jupp: "Night of the Living Happily in Surrey.""
"Miles Jupp: "Carrie On Camping.""
"Barry Cryer: "Thursday the 12th.""
"While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris..."
"While Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up..."
"While Samantha and I nip out with my flexible friend to make a large withdrawal..."
"As Samantha tells me it's time to let her whippet out..."
"Samantha has just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who successfully bid for a contract this week. He said she was delighted to see his little firm won."
"Samantha was telling us before the show she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. She doesn't know much about racing, but she's already seen something to admire in his jockeys."
"While Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of local winkles in cider..."
"So as Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself..."
"Samantha has to nip out now with her new gentleman friend. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her."
"Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office."
"Samantha has to nip out now as she has a new gentleman friend. Apparently, he's a vacuum cleaner salesman, and he's managed to get her the latest model. She says she can't wait to get home and handle her new Phillips upright."
"Andy Hamilton: "It's a God-awful small affair...""
"Rory Bremner: "I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore...""
"Andy Hamilton: "Well you can tell by the way I walk, I'm a woman's man...""
"Andy Hamilton: "I don't wanna talk...""
"Tony Hawks: "Yorkshire Tourist Board - Piss off!""
"Rory Bremner: "If I had a hammer...""
"Rachel Parris: "Do you remember the twenty-first night of September...?""
"Caroline Quentin: "Veet - Because all women should look and feel like raw sausages.""
"Tony Hawks: "Instagram - Cos you don't read good.""
"Tony Hawks: "The Internet - It's what your right arm's for.""
"Tony Hawks: "Wakefield - Because you came off at the wrong exit on the motorway.""
"Caroline Quentin: "Durex - Because we saw you coming too!""
"Caroline Quentin: "Apple - Think different. Think ungramattical.""