First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"J. August Richards β Griffin"
"Hamilton von Watts β Troy"
"Marques Houston β Jake"
"Carmen Electra (uncredited) β Roxanne"
"Linda Cardellini β Heather"
"Jan Schweiterman β Kurt Bozwell"
"Ginny Schreiber β Deedee"
"Josh Server β Fizz"
"Ron Lester β Spatch"
"Dan Schneider β Mr. Baily"
"Shar Jackson β Monique"
"Abe Vigoda β Otis"
"Sinbad β Mr. Wheat"
"Kenan Thompson β Dexter "Dex" Reed"
"Kel Mitchell β Ed"
"Coming to diners this summer."
"Shaquille O'Neal β Himself"
"Attendant: [after Ed has released a deranged man from his straight jacket] Goodness gracious! He's killing Sydney!"
"[repeated line] You mess with Kurt, and you go into the grinder."
"[first, repeated, and last line] Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?"
"[repeated line, always sung] I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all dudes, hey!"
"Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world."
"Jean Speegle Howard β Mrs. Phelps"
"Jon Lovitz β Mickey (host of The Million Dollar Sticky) (uncredited)"
"Marion Dugan β Cookie"
"Jacqueline Steiger β Amanda Thripp"
"Jimmy Karz β Bruce Bogtrotter"
"Brian Levinson β Michael "Mikey" Wormwood"
"Kira Spencer Hesser β Hortensia"
"Kiami Davael β Lavender"
"Tracey Walter β FBI Agent Bill"
"Paul Reubens β FBI Agent Bob"
"Pam Ferris β Agatha Trunchbull"
"Embeth Davidtz β Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey"
"Rhea Perlman β Zinnia Wormwood"
"Danny DeVito β Harry Wormwood / Narrator"
"Mara Wilson β Matilda Wormwood-Honey"
"Kids Rule!"
"A little magic goes a long way."
"[throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] Hey, Dip face. Have a marshmallow. Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Dip face!"
"Hey, dip face, Have carrot!"
"Give me the cookies."
"Could you repeat the last one?"
"Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"The Trunchbull used to be in the Olympics: Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw. The hammer throw was her specialty."
"You⦠will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you!"
"I am here to teach you all a lesson! [forcefully pushes a set of desks into the wall] Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. [kicks more desks into the wall] These things are a test of character! [pushes more desks into the wall] And I have character!"
"[on phone to Harry] WORMWOOD! You useless used-car salesman scum, I want you around here NOW! With another car! Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom, I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BAZOOKA! When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like ROADKILL! You what?"
"I'll be watching you, each and every one. When you turn the corner, when you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you. All of you! [pointing at Matilda] And especially you!"