"[To Maria and Toula] It is mistake to educate women but, nobody listen to me cause now we have a boyfriend in the house! Is he nice Greek boy? Oh no no Greek! No Greek xeno! Xeno with the long hair on top of his head!"

"[at the wedding reception] Hello. Welcome to the Portokalos family and welcome the-the Miller family. I-I was thinking last night, um, the night before my-my daughter was gonna marry, uh, I-an Miller, that, um, you know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo", which is mean apple, there you go. As many of you know, our name Portokalos is come from the Greek word "portokali", which means orange. So, okay, here tonight we have, uh, apple and orange... we all different, but, in the end, we all fruit."

"[to Ian's parents] Welcome to my home. Over here is my brother, Ted, and his wife, Melissa, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Over here, my brother Tommy, his wife Angie, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. And here, my brother George, his wife Freda, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Taki, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, uh, Nikki, and I am Gus."

"Toula, there's two kinds of people: Greeks and everybody else who wish they were Greeks."

"[seeing herself in her wedding gown for the first time] I'm a snow beast!"

"Ma, you gonna make me swallow my tongue!"

"[narrating] Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, thirty and way past my expiration date."

"[narrating] When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate. And I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns."

"[After Nick accidentally hears his name called] No, my Nikki. She was supposed to come over and curl my hair."

"[To Gus and Maria] Woe to me, business is bad."

"[Telling Ian's Family] Look, this is what we do. The parents, they give a gift."

"[Watching Ian dance at the reception] Oh, Taki... he looks Greek."

"Toula. Toula! You're engaged! You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you-Never! Never. Taki, didn't we say that..?"

"[to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal column. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin. [Ian's parents are horrified. Voula grabs a drink and toasts.] Opa!!"

"[upon learning Ian is a vegetarian] What do you mean, he don't eat no meat? [The entire room stops, in shock. We hear plates break and there are gasps.] ...That's okay, that's okay. I make lamb."

"Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say."

"[after her daughter Nikki behaves rudely] Skase! Be a lady!"

"(to herself) Now you feel like you want to take all the drugs in the world. But all the drugs in the world aren't going to change the feeling that your whole life's been a dream and it's only now that you're waking up."

"Julian Richings - Dr. Thompson"

"Kenya Jo Kennedy - Patsy"

"Jessica Amlee - Penny"

"Alfred Molina - Ann's Father"

"Amanda Plummer - Laurie"

"Leonor Watling - Ann the neighbor"

"No one's normal, mom. No such thing as normal people."

"Deborah Harry - Ann's Mother"

"Mark Ruffalo - Lee"

"Scott Speedman - Don"

"Sarah Polley - Ann"

"Ann's father: You just can't live the kind of life that other people want us to live. No matter how hard you try, you just can't do it."

"(to herself) You pray that they will have moments of happiness so intense, that all of their problems will seem insignificant by comparison. You don't know who or what you're praying to, but you pray. You don't even regret the life that you're not gonna have, because by then you'll be dead. And the dead don't feel anything. Not even regret."

"Try and be patient with her [Ann's mother], okay? She... she is a good person even if it doesn't always seem that way. She's... none of the things she always dreamed about ever came true, you know? Try and understand her. Don't let her make you mad."

"Ann: THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE."

"Alone. You're alone. You've never been so alone in your life. Lies are your only company."

"Larry Musser - Amphibian Pilot"

"Bart the Bear - The Kodiak bear"

"Kelsa Kinsly - Reporter"

"Gordon Tootoosis - Jack Hawk"

"Eli Gabay - Jet Pilot"