"[Standing on platform in space in front of the anomaly; quietly] Bender to Crew, I have reached the Gateway to another Universe. I feel awed and strangely humbled by the momentous solemnity of this occasion... [Loudly] Hey, Other Universe! Bite my shiny metal a— [Goes to stick rear end through anomaly into Other Universe but it explodes on contact, sending Bender and spaceship hurtling through space.]"

"Well if the League of Robots isn't real, how come I had a whole sticker-book of 'em when I was younger? Answer that with your precious logic!"

"Al Gore: Finally! I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows."

"Al Gore: [in the year 2012] That hundred dollars could have gotten me...one gallon of gas. [ominous music]"

"Zapp Brannigan: We fight this battle not for ourselves, but for our children, and our children's children, which is why I'm forming a children's brigade."

"Barbados Slim: You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim. Now goodbye forever."

"I'm a surgeon; when I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens!"

"There, I saved the space-time continuum and 40% of your rectum."

"Everyone out of the universe! Quick!"

"In his (Hermes') absence I am calling a mandatory company meeting. To the mandatorium!"

"I can wire anything directly into anything - I'm The Professor!"

"I'm sciencing as fast as I can!"

"Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years!"

"Sir, you're just a little enraged because you're dying. Up and away!"

"[Considering what to wear on her date with Lars] Ooh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter!"

"Kiss my front butt!"

"Without my body I'm a nobody."

"Ahh, my hair! Ahh! My larynx!"

"But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy."

"[sarcastically] Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars."

"Well, we're boned!"

"[monotone]--4, 3, 2, [normal voice] 1, BOOM! [Nothing happens. Bender laughs] Woah! [he explodes, killing Nudar and Lars]"

"Hey ! I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do."

"While I was hacking off the Professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had time to think. Who could use a doomsday device more, the scammers, or me, Bender? After several minutes of steady sawing, I had the answer. Me, Bender!"

"Fry old buddy, it's me, Bender! [blows up Fry's apartment]"

"[monotone] 5-- [normal] Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things! [Gets frozen]"

"[monotone] Entering auto destruct sequence. [normal] Awww crap, I hate auto destruct sequence! [monotone] Explosion in 7, 6,-- [Fry's duplicate kicks Bender's duplicate who stumbles back into a cryotube, Fry turns the control to one million years]"

"Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh! Badly want to urinate!!!!!"

"Hasta la vista, Meatbag!"

"001100010010011110100001101101110011"

"Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters, plus the Colonel's Secret Recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt!"

"Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth!"

"I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen."

"When will young people learn that playing "Dungeons and Dragons" doesn't make you cool!"

"Hermaphrodite: Your friends soon face certain death, followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses."

"Greyfarn: Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the dices power."

"Morcs: [chanting] Eat the wizard, eat the slut, eat the robot's shiny butt!"

"Scary Door Announcer: In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex."

"Roberto: I was built by a team of scientists, trying to create an insane robot...but it looks like they failed!"

"Professor: Everybody out of the conference room! I'm calling a conference! [to all, in an adjacent room] Everybody get in here!"

"Greyfarn: Fear not Titanius for we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness!"

"Professor: There's just one small problem, and it's a big one."

"Roberto: You're not made of Tuesday!"

"Titanius: Me thinks we be boned."

"The Swamp Hag: [repeated line] Get out of my swamp, you kids!"

"Rosie the Robot Maid: Everything must be clean. Very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty. Dirty. Also that boy Elroy. Dirty. Dirty."

"Roberto: [Repeated line] BOOKALEEMOOKALEE!"

"Dr. Perceptron: [Bender is in a group therapy session involving being hit in the head by hammers] Now Stop! Hammertime!"

"George Takei: [at the Space Demolition Derby] Way to kill the franchise, Bakula!"

"Leegola: Onward brave cowards!"