"William Shatner: Hello, I'm William Shatner, and this is Celebrity 911. Tonight, we devote the entire hour to police calls involving James Caan ... (Makes a face and looks up to the ceiling) CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"Jimmy Breslin: Tonight, we will honor the greatest writers in America with a modest 9x12 certificate and a check for three thousand dollars. Three thousand dollars?! Stephen King makes that for writing "Boo" on a cocktail napkin!"

"Dan Quayle: I'm Dan Quayle. I gotta go boom-boom."

"Ronald Reagan: I do solemnly swear that as your president, I will goof off and eat candy."

"Jon Lovitz — Jay Sherman, Woody Allen, Various"

"Christine Cavanaugh — Marty Sherman, Various"

"Nancy Cartwright — Margo Sherman, Various"

"Gerrit Graham — Franklin Sherman"

"Judith Ivey — Eleanor Sherman (née Wigglesworth)"

"Doris Grau — Doris Grossman"

"Maurice LaMarche — Jeremy Hawke, Shackleford, Principal Mangosuthu, Orson Welles, Howard Stern, Various"

"Nick Jameson — Vlada Veramirovich, Zoltan Veramirovich, Various"

"Brenda Vaccaro — Ardeth (season 1)"

"Rhea Perlman — Ardeth (season 2)"

"Charles Napier — Duke Phillips"

"Park Overall — Alice Tompkins"

"Russi Taylor — Penny Tompkins"

"Kath Soucie — Various"

"Tress MacNeille — Humphrey the Hippo, Various"

"Powdered Toast Man: POWDERED TOAST MAN!"

"Ren: YOU....!"

"Stimpy: Oh, joy!!"

"Mr. Horse: No, sir. I didn't love it."

"Charlie Adler as Cow; Chicken; The Red Guy."

"Brendan Fraser as Boneless Chicken."

"Candi Milo as Mom and Teacher."

"Dee Bradley Baker as Dad."

"Howard Morris as Flem."

"Dan Castellaneta as Earl."

"Jess Harnell as Cerberus (from pilot)"

"Older Pete Wrigley: I'll give you anything you want. You can destroy anything in the house, tear up the yard, anything."

""Carrot-top Judas... THOU HAST FORSAKEN ME!" ~ Bus Driver Stu Benedict"

""Pipe!" ~ Artie, The Strongest Man in the World"

"Oohh sweet dark, sweet dark...the stars, don't you remember the stars? Oh the twinkly stinkly smelly belly stars"- Artie, in "the rangeboy"

""C'mon Pete, we gotta kill Bob while he's still alive!" ~ Don Wrigley"

""Hey, Blowhole, wherever you are, in forty-five minutes I'm going to be famous. And you know what you're going to be? A blowhole!" ~ Little Pete Wrigley"

"Park Ranger Thorsen: You got a license for that tattoo, son? [Young Pete shows him a license]"

""If you're gonna change something, I said change something that matters." - Little Pete Wrigley"

""I just wanted to change the world but after a whole year of trying the only thing i changed was my underpants." - Little Pete Wrigley"

"Did I ever tell you guys your the best family I know? I mean I'm making great time, I'm traveling with a great family....hey what do u say we do something special and make a pit stop! Bug juice on the house, and well even break out the paper plates!- Don Wrigley adressing his family in "King of the Road"

""You always see the truth in the shine." - Cecil Tucker (Pete and Pete)"

""9 o'clock, and all is pipe!" Artie"

"Hey a hot lather machine huh? Woo woo woo ingenius!"- little pete talking shit during "field of dreams"

""This is so much better than underpants… I used to look at all the flaws in the world and I'd think 'If I could make one thing perfect…', and then I did - underpants" ~ Inspector 34"

""Passengers will refrain from KILLING MY SOUL!" ~ Bus Driver Stu Benedict"

""Artie! The strongest man... in the world!" ~ Artie, The Strongest Man in the World"

""I am the Doctor of Death, and I have come to cure you of your life." ~ Endless Mike Hellstrom"

"The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie"

"SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge (2013)"

"SpongeBob's Truth or Square (video game) (2009)"