The Apprentice (British TV series)

"Claire Young: How do you think Michael is? Helene Speight: Shit. Claire Young: I think he's shit as well."

"Michael Sophocles: Sir Alan, I think I'm an absolutely fantastic salesman... Sir Alan Sugar: But you didn't bloody sell did you?"

"Sir Alan Sugar: Helene your posture, not being disrespectful or rude, you remind me of the portrait of the Mona Lisa in which there's this one sole expression with you all the time."

"Claude Littner: I'll talk about Lucinda if I may, Alan. She's a very intelligent, bright individual. No doubt highly skilled at what she does and I would think she'd be a disaster for you. Paul Kemsley: I'll tell you a good point. If you're building a nice office for yourself and you want it lit beautifully with candles - nice smelling candles, good aroma therapy in the air, nice calm, perfect... Karren Brady: Paul! That is unfair."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Lucinda, I'm afraid to say you're a little bit too zany for me, a little bit too unconventional for me. And so, Lucinda, with regret, you're fired!"

"Claude Littner: What are the things you're going to offer Sir Alan? Alex Wotherspoon: Like you say, I am 24 years old so... Claude Littner: Can you not just answer a question?! I'm finding it very.. I mean, it's just how many times do I have to ask the same question before you actually give me an answer!"

"Claude Littner: (on Lee's CV which is riddled with spelling mistakes) Did they ever teach you spelling?"

"Bordan Tkachuk: You were doing a degree, were you? Lee McQueen: No, unfortunately for me my exam results etc were never good enough to do a degree. When I was a trainee catering manager, they put me through to do a professional qualification in catering. I was there for two years, I was actually doing my HCIMA for that period of time. Bordan Tkachuk: Are you sure it was two years? Lee McQueen: As far as I am aware, it was two years, yes. Bordan Tkachuk: Really? The university has actually dropped me a line here confirming that you were only there for four months. Lee McQueen: Really? Oh, Okay well then, it was four months then. Bordan Tkachuk: Was it two years or four months? Do you want to see or do you know? Lee McQueen: No, no, if that's what you are saying. Bordan Tkachuk: No, I am asking you. I have asked you twice, it's your CV. It says Thames University 1996 to 1998. Lee McQueen: Then I have, um, put something incorrect on my CV. Bordan Tkachuk: Was it just one thing? Lee McQueen: Well, I have made a mistake already haven't I, so it's difficult for me to be completely confident. Bordan Tkachuk: What worries me is that you have got someone here who is prepared to bullshit their way through. Lee McQueen: I am not prepared to bullshit my way through. Bordan Tkachuk: Well you did on that. Lee McQueen: I am not prepared to bullshit my way through. Bordan Tkachuk: But you did on that and that worries me a little bit about you because I am looking at this and saying what else is there about you? Lee McQueen: My integrity is out the window. All I would say to you is that I am not proud my educational background, Bordan, and I have put something down there to make my educational background seem a little bit better than what it is and that's a blip on my integrity and I can't erase that. All I can say is that I am disappointed in myself for doing that."

"Claire Young: (as Lucinda is in an interview with Claude Littner) Lucinda's been up there ages. Oh, I'd love to be her in there. (in Lucinda's voice) Erm, erm, excuse me. Erm, erm (normal voice) And he'd just be like "Shut it! Shut up now!""

"Paul Kemsley: I didn't find anything interesting in your CV. Alex Wotherspoon: Obviously taking into account my age, that's why my CV isn't as extensive as... Paul Kemsley: I was running my own business at twenty-two."

"Sir Alan Sugar: [to the candidates, in the first-ever boardroom meeting] As far as I'm concerned, what I have in front of me here are fourteen of Britain's best prospects. Quite a few thousand applied for this job: a job with me, a job that's gonna bring you a six-figure salary. But to get that job, you're gonna have to demonstrate to me your skills and leadership, business acumen, shrewdness, the lot."