Peanuts

"I've developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time. (8 Aug 66)"

"It was a dark and stormy night... (appeared for the first time on 12 Jul 65)"

"Theme: Our School. Going to our school is an education in itself, which is not to be confused with actually getting an education. (crumples paper and tosses it, saying "I don't need that kind of trouble!") (10 Sep 73)"

"It's all very strange.. You can be walking along not thinking of anything in particular. (falls head over heels) Suddenly, you're reminded of a lost love... (11 Feb 85)"

"The largest dinosaur that ever lived was the Bronchitis. It soon became extinct. It coughed a lot. (11 Dec 72)"

"There are seven continents: Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, North America, South America, and Aunt Arctica. (5 May 81)"

"Here's (Joe Cool/The World War I Flying Ace/The world-famous (insert occupation here)/etc.)"

"My mind reels with sarcastic replies."

"(whenever Lucy angers him) Next time, I'll bite her on the leg!"

"(to The Cat Next Door) Hey, stupid cat!"

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. *sigh!* There's so little hope for advancement. (15 Feb 58)"

"Snoopy asked the "Stupid Cat Next Door" to help remove a splinter from his paw: Well that's one way of doing it - he removed me from the splinter! (19 Sep 81)"

"on why he doesn't chase rabbits: Some of us are born dogs, and some of us are born rabbits. When the chips are down, I'll have to admit that my sympathy lies with the rabbits. (18 Apr 61)"

"To me, the ugliest sight in the world is an empty dog dish! (27 Feb 62)"

"as "World-Famous Astronaut": I did it! I'm the first beagle on the moon! I beat the Russians...I beat everybody...I even beat that stupid cat who lives next door! (14 Mar 69)"

"arm-wrestling Lucy: Succumb, you dark-haired fiend! (14 Feb 67)"

"on Molly Volley: I've had distemper, and I've played mixed doubles...I'd rather have distemper. (28 May 77)"

"Here's Joe Cool hanging around the student union eyeing chicks. Lucy storms past. Actually, we Joe Cools are scared to death of chicks... (28 May 71)"

"I remember last year about this time... it was two o'clock in the morning, and I was sound asleep... Suddenly, out of nowhere, this crazy guy with a sled appears right on my roof. He was okay, but those stupid reindeer kept stepping on my stomach! (23 Dec 66)"

"Curse you, Red Baron!"

"Curses, foiled again!"

"after a trip to the vet: They tortured me, but all I gave them was my name, rank and serial number! (19 Aug 66)"

""A Love Story" by Erich Beagle: "I love you," she said, and together they laughed. Then one day she said, "I hate you," and they cried. But not together. "What happened to the love that we said would never die?" she asked. "It died," he said. The first time he saw her she was playing tennis. The last time he saw her she was playing tennis. "Ours was a Love set," he said, "but we double faulted." "You always talked a better game than you played," she said. (27 May 73)"

"Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. I've solved our problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron. (6 Aug 73)"

"Why Dogs Are Superior to Cats: They just are, and that's all there is to it! (5 Jan 74)"

"Her love affair had ended. She didn't want to live. She threw herself in front of a Zamboni. (27 Jun 91)"

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask myself, "Why isn't the world perfect?" Then a voice comes to me that says, "We admit it.. There are still a few kinks that need working out."(29 Aug 98)"

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "What can I do to keep my life from going by so fast?" Then a voice comes to me that says, "Try slowing down at the corners.". ( 30 July 96 )"

"No matter how hard you try, you can't... (do something silly and impossible)"

"Some people are right-handed. Some people are left-handed. There are other people who are able to use both hands with equal ease. Such people are called handbidextrous. (17 Oct 76)"

"English Theme: "If I Had A Pony." If I had a pony, I'd saddle up and ride so far from this school it would make your head swim! (29 Sep 70)"

"I'm not a poor loser, I'm a good loser. I'm so good at it I lose all the time! (2 Aug 98)"

"This is my report on Rain. Rain is water which does not come out of faucets. Without rain, we would not get wet walking to school and catch a cold and have to stay home, which is not a bad idea. Rain was the inspiration for that immortal poem, "Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day." After a storm, the rain goes down the drain which is where I sometimes feel my education is also going. (7 Nov 73)"

"When writing about Church History, we have to go back to the very beginning. Our Pastor was born in 1930. (4 Sep 75)"

"For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life. But there was a flag on the play!"

"(waking up after getting hit with a line drive:) I'm dying, and all I hear is insults! (3 Aug 66 and A Boy Named Charlie Brown)"

"Life in the village was peaceful until the volcano interrupted. (15 May 98)"

"Britain was invaded in the year 43 by Roman Numerals. (6 Oct 84)"

"(mixing up his proverbs:) "He to whom the early bird runs best learns wisdom and knowledge!""

"English Theme: "Vandalism as a Problem Today." Who is the leader of these vandals? I will tell you. They are encouraged by Evandalists! (7 May 73)"

"Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. ... Abraham Lincoln was our sixteenth king and he was the father of Lot's wife. (12 Feb 70)"

"My anxieties have anxieties. (9 Nov 68)"

"(in the class spelling bee, asked to spell the word "maze":) M...A...Y...S... AAUGH! (9 Feb 66)"

"(usually Snoopy or some inanimate object): My mother didn't raise me to be..."

"There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin! (25 Oct 61)"

"(Linus found his missing blanket:) There was a little mix-up in the kitchen. Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes. We now have very secure dishes! (20 Feb 64)"

"One "rod" equals nine feet. One "span" equals nine inches. One "pace" equals three feet. One "handbreadth" equals three inches. And one "school day" equals a hundred years! Sorry, ma'am, I couldn't help slipping that in there. (9 May 84)"

"Light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles per second. ... So why are the afternoons so long? (1 Jun 76)"

"Somewhere in this great city there must be a mailbox with a love letter for me. But this isn't it.. Stupid mailbox! (16 May 97)"

"This butter is practically frozen.. Nobody told me life was going to be this hard! I hate getting up in the morning.. School drives me crazy... ..And now I have to butter my toast with chunky butter! (09 Mar 93)"