The Apprentice (British TV series)

"James McQuillan: (after thanking Sir Alan he gets up and leaves the boardroom but before leaving he faces Sir Alan and the remaining candidates one last time) It's been brilliant! (The remaining candidates begin to have tears in their eyes as he leaves)"

"Lorraine Tighe: I think what I wanted to do was probably "May 08 to present"- but in my own mind, and this is why I'm here, is that I suppose I haven't fully succeeded in the way that I think I'm capable of and what I can do really."

"Sir Alan Sugar: (To James) Turns out I was Willy Wonka after all. James Mcquillan: I think I've got Lorraine's gift."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Yasmina... you're hired! Yasmina Siadatan: Thank you, Sir Alan! I'm going to be the best Apprentice ever!"

"Dan Harris: Come on! WHO IS DOING THE MINCING?"

"Raleigh Addington: Lord Sugar, yesterday I was let down by a team leader who's like a bull in a china shop! He crashes into people, he upsets people. (Chris and Alex look at him somewhat surprised) He was so aggressive and such thuggish with other members of his team, he just shouts at us,he just doesn't let us get on with our jobs. He was always looking over my shoulder, (Sir Alan, now Lord Sugar, also watches Raleigh surprised) I wanted to sell things and I didn't get that opportunity! It wasn't fair, it was shameful!"

"Jamie Lester: It was cringeable."

"Stuart Baggs: Dan, how many sausages did you make yesterday? Dan Harris: What I did was manage the team that produced eleven hundred sausages. Stuart Baggs: [Pressing keys on an invisible calculator] So, that's on a calculator...nought,"

"Dan Harris: (to Shibby Robati) Shibby, what the fuck are you doing?!"

"Karren Brady: You sold fourteen packs. Stuart Baggs: (somewhat surprised) Fourteen packs?"

"Karren Brady:You are representing businesswomen today, one of which I am. And I have to say, it is outrageous the way you're behaving. 75% of my management team are women, and I've never come across anything like this. And I think you have to remember who you're representing in this process. Young women out there who want to have an opportunity to do this - you should be an example to them."

"Lord Sugar: (after Apollo's argument) This is like watching a bunch of bloody amateurs!"

"Stella English: (as she is modelling for the "Cuuli" towel) Don't look at me Nick! Just don't!"

"Karren Brady: How hard is it to stand with a megaphone and shout 'muffins'?"

"Paloma Vivanco: [to Shibby] I'm a businesswoman, and you're a joke!"

"Lord Sugar: You'll be more accustomed to this than me Shibby, after I say to you that after a thorough examination I have got some bad news for you. (After looking away from Lord Sugar for much of Lord Sugar's deliberations, Shibby looks up for a second, then looks down again for another second then back up again.) You're fired."

"Melissa Cohen: Some people have set out to get me, and they've succeeded. Karmically, they will be retributed. The universe speaks louder than I do."

"Christopher Farrell: Call themselves salespeople? Bollocks!"

"Lord Sugar: Stuart, you're young I know. But this is not kindergarten!"

"Jamie Lester: (on what he thinks the task will be) Science Museum. So it's gonna be something to do with science, or museums."

"Lord Sugar: I don't like your last outbursts...and I don't like what I've seen across the table here today. You've talked yourself out of this. If you'd shut up a while back, it may be someone else going. Paloma, you're fired."

"Alex Epstein: If I was an apple pie, the apples inside would be orange."

"Stuart Baggs: Hasta la vista, gravy."

"Stuart Baggs: [gravelly American accent] Coming to a kitchen or bathroom near you. There'll be no mercy...only total devastation."

"Alex Epstein: WHEN!!"

"Lord Sugar: (to Alex shortly before firing him) It is with regret that having given you the change and opportunity, Alex that I'm going to have to say to you, you're fired. Alex Epstein: Nice to meet you Lord Sugar, likewise Nick and Karren. Thank you very much indeed."

"Nick Hewer: [Stuart Baggs'] leadership style leaves me trembling with irritation."

"Karren Brady: Do you have that all-round business experience? Alex Wotherspoon: I've got as much experience as I could have at my age at twenty-four. Karren Brady: Alex, I was twenty-three when I was running Birmingham City Football Club. You're a year older."

"Paul Kemsley: I want to see this silly impression of a dinosaur that you do. Lee McQueen: Of a reverse pterodactyl? Paul Kemsley: I've got to see it. Lee McQueen: Do you want to see it? Paul Kemsley: Absolutely. Lee McQueen: Unbelievable. Paul Kemsley: Go on. Lee McQueen: Okay-(he performs his reverse pterodactyl impression and then sits back down) Impressive? Paul Kemsley: I don't think Sir Alan would be too impressed. I didn't find it funny but he definitely wouldn't. Lee McQueen: No, and I wouldn't do a reverse pterodactyl in front of Sir Alan- Paul Kemsley: Why don't you just say "No" then? This is a serious interview. It's a serious job."

"Bordan Tkachuk: (having listened to Claire for a long time) Okay, just hang on one second. Let me ask a question and give you time to breathe."

"Sir Alan Sugar: (to Claire after he fires Lucinda and has listened to her reason as to why she should stay) I'm gonna let you stay. (to the other candidates) In fact, I'm gonna let you all stay. (sighs of relief from Helene and Lee) And the reason for that, is because you're all very, very good candidates I think. You've all got something in you. And so, all four of you are in the final."

"Sir Alan Sugar: This is job interview from hell. First prize, you get to work for me. Second prize, don't exist."

"Sir Alan Sugar: You think you can play and second guess me? Well let me tell you - I am as hard to play as a Stradivarius. And you lot, I can tell you, are as easy to play as bongo drums!"

"Paula Jones: I wonder if we could clean people?"

"Anita Shah: Well done, girls! We're in budget. (after spending all but £2.30 of their £200 budget)"

"Margaret Mountford: Never before in the history of carwashing have so few cars been cleaned by so many people in such a long time."

"Mona Lewis: (holding a feather duster) What's this? Yasmina Siadatan: It's a duster"

"Sir Alan Sugar: (after Empire win the task) You look surprised. Howard Ebison: Relieved."

"Ben Clarke: I've got a scholarship to Sandhurst. Philip Taylor: Have you? Ben Clarke: Yeah. James McQuillan: (under his breath) Bloody hell. (Philip looks unconvinced) Philip Taylor: Did you go? Ben Clarke: No."

"Paula Jones: I don't think the food is up to scratch. It looks like it's come from a funeral at a working man's club."

"James McQuillan: I think he's going to take me into the boardroom and do you know what, I feel bloody hurt. It just shows the gratitude. I honesty feel like I did when my cat died. It's like a hurt inside."

"Sir Alan Sugar: (to James when questioning him on his CV) When you wake up in the morning you can taste success in your spit" is that right? ... What did you have, a curry last night?"

"Sir Alan Sugar: (to James) Who do you think should get fired? James McQuillan: Out of the three of us? I think you should fire the pair of them."

"Sir Alan Sugar: Rocky, you make sandwiches for a living, you've got these 15 shops, you employ 150 people... To come in with a loss is, inconceivable as far as I'm concerned. Rocky Andrews: I'm embarrassed and very disappointed- Sir Alan Sugar: Embarrassed?"

"Ben Clarke: I’m quite happy to go along the “sex sells” route with this one."

"Ben Clarke: I am the best looking."

"Ben Clarke: I would say Kim, clinically speaking would be considered obese. And James isn't obese, but you can tell he's not exactly fit. He could do with going for a few runs."

"Ben Clarke: (about James) He wasn't exactly Winston Churchill."

"Debra Barr: (back in the penthouse) I'm not really bothered whether you're successful or fail. Your failure's my success... not to be nasty."

"Jim Eastwood: (to Susan) I actually think you’re just marginally worse than Glenn."